Dirty Little Secret
by PatchesOfInk
Summary: Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content, rape.
1. Chapter 1

Everyone had noticed the change in her, how could they not? It was so obvious, it wasn't the little things – only a select few noticed those, no it was the dramatic things everyone took notice of. People had asked about that change at first and for the first few day days she just shrugged her shoulders and gave them the non-answer of "why not?" Once she had formulated a suitable reason for the change they all readily accepted the lie. It was a good lie, who would question her logic of "I need to be prepared to fill any role at the drop of a hat. Now I'm a blank canvas I can be whoever I need to be for any role I should encounter," it was exactly the type of thing she would say, she knew it, they knew it. It was enough to placate everyone, well, almost everyone.

Only eleven of her peers, the people she was almost but not quite friends with, knew there was more to her change than the formulated lie she fed to everyone. They were the ones that noticed the small things, the things that had made her who she was, or who she used to be. They noticed that her smile no longer reached her now tired looking eyes, that even though to the rest of the world she sounded the same they could hear the passion that was no longer there when she sang. They noticed it all, the way she no longer criticised their performances or argued with Mr. Schue about the song selection. They all noticed the ways she had changed but no one cared enough to push her for the truth.

Only one person had figured it out. One person that knew that look in those tired eyes. The look that comes from trying to keep a secret that could ruin you hidden from everyone. She knew that look, not so long ago she'd had that look. She just hoped that the girl she tormented for so long hadn't made the same mistakes she had, that the look that filled those tired eyes was for another reason.

She walks with confidence and determination she once had back when she still wore the uniform of empowerment. No one got in her way, they were all too relieved to be heading to lunch to notice the girl who had fallen from grace, those who did notice all eagerly stepped out of her way, they recognised that look.

She stopped outside of the room and for a brief moment her resolve faltered. She shook her head, ponytail whipping from side to side. "Get a grip," she instructed herself. Quietly she entered the room, thankful that her target was sat at the piano practicing scales. Slowly she approached the other girls back, she had every intention of making the dark haired diva jump, but something stopped her. She noticed the slight tremble in the other girls shoulders. She stepped round to the other girls side, snarky remark ready to fall from her lips dying when she took in the scene before her.

Dark hair hung lifelessly on either side of her face, her soulful eyes are concealed by fluttering lids, her lips are drawn in tightly as she tried to withhold the sobs, her cheeks glisten as tears streak down them in a race powered by gravity staining her skin.

She almost turns to leave, she knows that she needs to be harsh towards the clearly broken girl in front of her, she knows she shouldn't care. She holds on to one thought 'remember she ruined things for you and Finn,' she knows it's a lie but even a lie is enough to reaffirm her in her mission.

"God manhands, I know you're a loser and everything but even this is beyond that."

Tired eyes flew open, drawn lips became loose, "Quinn, what are you doing here?"

"Is this what your do every lunch time? Sit in her and play the piano and cry?"

"Yes," she sniffed, "well no. I mean I come here at lunch to play the piano, sing and just generally rehearse because you can never practice enough but I don't always cry."

"Fine, whatever." She knew her resolve was fading, she had to push forward before she gave in to the need to comfort the normally annoying girl. "Ok then Berry spill it."

"Spill what?"

"Don't play stupid with me. I know."

"And what exactly do you know?"

"I know what you're trying to keep hidden."

A flash of fear was the first sign of life in those tired eyes the blonde had seen since the change.

"I don't know what you're on about."

"Oh don't give me that bullshit! You look like Tina that week Figgins freaked out about vampires."

"I've explained this already. By wearing simpler attire I am more prepared and able to slip into any role I should encounter. I am a-"

"Blank canvas. Yeah I've heard that version."

"What other version is there?"

"The truth?" She sighed, "You can't do this alone Rachel."

The pint sized diva began to tremble violently.

"Whose is it?"

The blonde reached out and placed a hand on the other girls arm which pulsated heat through the thick sweatshirt.

"I-I don't k-know what you're on about," she flinched from the delicate touch on her forearm, "I have to go."

Anger began to fill the petite blonde, "Afraid I'll tell everyone who the father is the way you did to me?" she spat.

She was on her feet and almost at the door, her voice less shaky but still not as convincing as she needed it to be, "I don't appreciated what you are implying or the fact that you've called me a liar. Furthermore you can threaten me all you want I will deny anything you are capable of speculating seeing as how it will all be a complete fabrication of your own when you have no idea what the reality of the situation is."

And just like that she had failed in her mission. She stared open mouthed at the blur that was the divas storm out.

"Damn."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes:** Ok so the first chapter of this was just something I randomly had stuck in my head, I didn't really like it very much but apparently you guys do for which I am very grateful. Now this chapter was kinda difficult for me to write, I usually prefer to write monologues or duologues when it comes to dialogue but what with Glee club having 12 members and Mr. Schue on top I can't really neglect the rest of the group.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

Rachel had spent the rest of the day successfully avoiding Quinn, but despite her success at avoiding the blonde she still plagued her thoughts.

_She knows! How can she know? She wasn't even there that day. I haven't told a single soul, how can she know? Ok, calm down. She doesn't know, she can't know. You've done everything right. You've still got time to figure out how to manage this thing. There's no way she can possibly know._

Quinn knew she was being avoided. Every time she had caught a glimpse of the diva she would miraculously vanish.

_She can't hide from me forever. I need a plan, think Q think. She cant avoid me all day, we've got Glee practice today and all Hell would freeze over before she skipped out on a Glee practice. Too many people, there's no way I'll get her to talk there. Think Quinn! I could always try to grab her after practice…Puck! Of course, why didn't I think about him before?_

Glee had arrived all too quickly for Rachel, she knew that she'd no longer be able to avoid Quinn or the memories she'd been trying so desperately to ignore since her encounter with the blonde. When she entered the room she was split in two when she saw the girl in question talking in hushed voices with Puck and Mercedes. One part of her wanted to heave a huge sigh of relief, Quinn was too busy to question her. The other part of her wanted to turn on the spot and run anywhere that wasn't here.

"Right guys we've only got a short time left to prepare for the assembly next week." Mr. Schuester sought out Rachel and looked her straight in the eye. "Principal Figgins has kindly given you all a second chance. Now I'm trusting each and everyone of you, I don't want a repeat performance of last time, understood?"

The group nodded and uttered feeble words of compliance.

"Good then let's get cracking. Rachel I want to work on your solo today, I think we should thicken it up around the chorus so I want to trying backing with Tina and Quinn."

The group held its breath, waiting for the pint sized diva to erupt in a tirade of how she could carry the song by herself and then storm out of the room.

"Ok."

"Ok? Right, everyone else I want you to pay close attention. I want your feedback."

Mercedes turned in her seat so that she was facing Quinn as she whispered, "You gotta do it this weekend."

Quinn's response was a subtle nod as she made her way to the front to stand with Mr. Schuester and Tina.

Everyone was still, confused as to why she hadn't moved. Instead she just sat there unblinking, tired eyes lost as she stared into a different time.

"Rachel?" Mr. Schuester called tentatively.

"I think she's broken" Finn voiced nervously.

"She ain't broken," Puck snapped, "she's just…lost in her thoughts."

"Rachel?" Mr. Schuester carefully nudged the starlets elbow.

Rachel jumped up, knocking her chair backwards. Her words rushed off the tip of her tongue before she had the chance to form a coherent thought, "It's my fault. I'm sorry."

"Rachel, why don't you go sit in my office a minute?"

The shell that was once Rachel Barry nodded and slunk off to Mr. Schuesters office.

"Ok guys, keep practicing the group piece for now. Quinn, Tina have a look through the song and see if you agree with the parts I've chosen to thicken."

"Sure Mr. Schue."

Everyone knew that no one would be rehearsing, they were all either too concerned or too intrigued as to what was wrong with their star.

Mr. Schuester entered his office and began to close the door, when a tiny voice spoke, "Mr Schue, could we maybe leave the door open?"

"Are you sure Rachel? That doesn't offer you much privacy."

"I think I-I'd feel better if the door was open."

The teacher looked at his pupil in confusion, "I'm not going to ask you what's wrong anymore, I understand that some things you can't just tell people but I want you to know that if you're having any problems or just need someone to talk to you can talk to me ok?"

"Ok."

"I want you to do me a favour. I want you to go see Miss Pilsbury on Monday ok?"

All the frightened girl can do is nod.

"I think maybe we should call it a day. Are your dads picking you up?"

"No, they're away this weekend."

"Would you like me to see if anyone would give you a lift home?"

"That won't be necessary Mr. Schue, I'm fine. Thank you though. I drove to school today, Daddy gave me his car for the weekend."

"Ok then if you're sure you're ok to drive?"

"It's not very far and I'm feeling much better now."

The pair left his office, Rachel went to grab her bag and leave, while he announced that they were done for the day, "Have a great weekend everybody."

Puck approached Rachel slowly as though she was a wild animal that would scare easy and placed his hand around her wrist to stop her before she dashed out of the room.

Her voice was a hoarse whisper, a stark contrast to any tone any of them had ever heard from her before, "Please let go of my wrist."

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to drive, why don't I give you a ride home? You can come get your car tomorrow."

She squirmed awkwardly under his grasp, fearful eyes threatening tears, "Noah please," her pleas are barely audible whispers, "let me go."

He did as she asked and watched helplessly as she ran out of the building, "What the hell was all that about?"

Kurt spoke for the first time since their star had begun to unravel in front of them, "I have no idea but that was most certainly not the usual dramatic styling's of one Miss Rachel Berry."

"Something's wrong with the girl," Mercedes looked over at Quinn, "it has to be this weekend."

Quinn nodded, her face blank in comparison to thoughts running through her mind at ridiculous speeds, "You're wrong, it has to be tonight."

**Attention:** Ok guys and girls, what do you think? When it comes to this story I'd like as much reader feedback as possible as there are still a few things I'm unclear of myself, so keep and eye out for questions at the bottom of chapters, you can help create this story.

Just to get you all started - do you think gave up her baby for adoption or did she keep it?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes:** Right so this is more of a filler than anything else. Thank you to everyone who gave their opinion about what Quinn does with her baby. Sorry to all those who said she gives it up for adoption, by the time I got the reviews through I'd made good progress with this chapter and had gone with those who said she keeps the baby. Bit iffy on this chapter, not sure if I got Mercedes right but hey I gave it my best shot.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

"Are you sure about this Quinn?"

"Honestly? No, but I've gotta try."

The two girls sat in the idling vehicle gazing apprehensively at the building one of them was trying to gain access to.

"What if she doesn't let you in?"

Quinn couldn't help but laugh, "I may not be captian of the Cheerios anymore but everyone seems to forget one very important thing."

"What's that?"

"I'm Quinn Fabray" she said matter of factly.

"I spoke with my Mom, she knows not to worry if we're not back tonight."

"Maybe you should've said all weekend. Somehow I don't think Rachel is going to make this easy for me."

"Are you sure you're the right person for this? I mean your track record with her isn't exactly great. Wouldn't it be better if maybe we got Tina to go instead?"

"No," the blonde shook her head sadly, "I've got a pretty good idea what the problem is already."

"You do?"

"Don't look at me like that Mercedes, you know I won't tell you."

Mercedes face fell, showing the hurt that her friend didn't trust her caused.

"Oh don't even go there. Do you think I'd leave Beth with you if I didn't trust you?"

"Then why can't you tell me this?"

"Two reasons. For starters I could be wrong, although I don't think I am and secondly it's not my place to tell others. That's up to her."

A smile crept across the drivers face, "And this is exactly the reason I'm proud to call you my friend. You are one classy lady, even after Rachel told Finn he wasn't the father you still won't spread whatever she'd trying to hide."

"Rachel was right to tell Finn, the lies were beginning to get out of hand but there's a major difference between me and her. When my truth came out it hurt so many people, so far the only person her truth is hurting is herself."

The two girls sat in silence as they processed what Quinn had said. It was Mercedes who broke the silence.

"When I spoke to Mom about tonight she said that if we needed more time over the weekend she wouldn't mind watching Beth."

Quinn smiled as she thought of her little girl, "You and your mom are so good to us. Hopefully we won't need to take her up on her off. Puck has this weekend off and he wanted to spend some time with her."

"Well if we need Puck, Mom's there as backup."

"Thanks."

"No problem. Now get your scrawny white butt moving."

"Don't go too far?"

"Tina's place is like 10 minutes from here, holla is you need me ok?"

"Yeah," Quinn reached across and gave Mercedes a hug, "I'll call first sign of needing reinforcements."

"Right then I'm outta here."

Quinn stepped out of the vehicle and onto the path and watched as Mercedes drove off for Tina's.

She walked up the pathway to the door with the same determination she had done when she had originally sought out the girl she had tormented. Her knuckles rapped on the door and she could hear a flurry of movement from inside. She was beginning to lose her patience when the door finally opened.

"Quinn," the pint sized diva said with a mixture of fear and confusion, "what are you doing here?"

She looked at the small figure in front of her. Dishevelled hair, swollen eyes, pale skin. She knew the time for playing games and keeping her distance had come to an end. "I was worried about you."

"I'm sorry for wasting your time."

"Rachel," her voice was soft and gentle in a way it had never been towards the other girl, "you're not ok."

She lowered her head, dark strands covering her face. The blonde took the opportunity to step inside the threshold.

"I never said you could come in."

"I know, I just want to talk to you."

The dark haired girl led her tormenter to the living room instructing her to shut the door as she went.

"It's probably better that I answered the door otherwise you might have been off searching for the hidy key."

"Probably," she admitted, "look Rachel what I said to you today, I didn't mean to upset you." Rachel looked at her incredulously. "Ok maybe I did, but I knew you were never going to answer my question. I was just trying to provoke it out of you in some way."

Rachel looked up at Quinn, "Ok well you've said your piece."

"No I haven't."

"Quinn listen I get that I freaked the group out earlier and I didn't intend to."

"Everyone's worried about you."

"Well they don't need to be. I'm fine."

"God you really are going to keep living as though nothing's change aren't you? Rachel ignoring the truth is not going to make it go away, believe me I tried and we both know how that worked out."

"If you've come to threaten me again you can leave right this instance."

"No, that's not what I'm doing at all. What I'm saying is right now you're scared – I get that, but you can't do this alone," she paused, her voice softened, "have you even told your parents?"

"No," she realises her slipup and covers as quick as she can, "because there's nothing to tell them."

"Ok."

"Quinn, I'm fine ok? I'm just tired from a few bad nights sleep that's all it is."

The blonde sensed where this was heading, "Ok, before I go if it's not too much trouble could I ask you for a glass of water?"

Rachel sighed, relieved that Quinn's company was coming to an end, "Sure."

The blonde stayed on the couch, formulating a plan while the other girl fetched a glass of water.

"Here."

"Thanks," she took a small sip, "are you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah, all I want right now is to go and take a shower," the starlet answered truthfully.

"I know that feeling," Quinn finally saw her chance, "why don't you go for your shower and I'll let myself out?" Rachel looked at the blonde with apprehension. "I've got to call Mercedes to come pick me up."

The diva caved easily, too eager to start her new shower regime in an attempt to get herself clean, "Ok," she made her way to the stairs, "I'll see you at school then."

"Yeah, see you at school," Quinn replied feebly, she hated lying but she knew it was necessary if she had any hope of helping the girl she had wronged in so many ways.

**Attention:** Right so you all were so helpful last time I put a question on here and I'm so grateful to everyone who answered, you're input was a lot of help! Right so I've got more questions for everyone.

I've had people ask me if Rachel is really pregnant or if it's just Quinn assuming wrongly so my question to you is what do you think? This story has changed so much from when I originally set out to write it that anything goes really.

The other question I have for you is...who done it? I can tell you now that it's not Puck and it's not Finn, is it someone else from school, is it an old flame or is it someone completely unrelated to the characters at all?

Thank you guys for all the reviews, keep them coming. I'm already about half way with the next chapter and I'm hoping to have it done before I got to bed so keep your eyes peeled.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes:** Ok so this is kind of an intense response, loosely based on experiences I've shared with other people who've been unfortunate enough to experience such horrid things. Seemed kinda appropriate for such an intense character to have an intense response. Also I want to say thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, added and everything else with this story it really means a lot to me, I didn't think anyone would read it when I first started it. So thank you all. There's no question this time round at the end of the piece but feel free to keep sending answers to the questions in previous chapter - it's really helpful!

**Warning:** Contains self-harm references.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

She waited until she heard the water running through the pipes before going outside. Putting the door on the latch she shut the door with more force than necessary.

Hearing the thud of the front door her muscles relaxed. Finally she was alone. She placed the cleaning kit she'd prepared in the shower before stripping and getting in.

Outside in the cool evening breeze the blonde found herself needing comfort, the sight of what the infamous Rachel "I'm a star" Berry had become ever since she had started to change saddened Quinn in a way she couldn't quite understand, surely she should be happy that the starlet was less intense and abrasive. She fished her phone out of her pocket and dialled the number of the one person who could offer her the comfort she so desperately needed.

"Hello?"

"Hey Puck."

"Quinn, how's it going?"

"It's not. Not at the moment. How is she?"

"She's good. I just put her to bed."

"It's late."

"Yeah well apparently she's a mama's girl."

The blonde smiled, "I always thought she was daddy's little girl."

"She is, but she's definitely easier when her mom is here."

"Puck, what am I doing? There's no way I'm going to get her to talk."

"Yes you will."

"She's so closed off around me. I mean after all I've put her through it makes sense. Maybe I should've got one of the other girls to try."

"You'll get her to open up."

"I don't know."

"Hey, remember when you decided not to give Beth up and how everyone thought it was a bad idea. They all said you wouldn't be able to do it and look at you now, you're an amazing mom."

"Thanks Puck," the sincerity in her voice carried strong.

"Besides you're Quinn fucking Fabray, since when have you just rolled over and given up?"

"You're right. I can do this."

"Exactly. Ah damn, look I gotta go," Quinn could hear wailing in the background, "your daughter needs her diaper changing."

"Why is she always my daughter when she needs changing?"

"Cos she's mine whenever she's being cute," Puck laughed.

"Bye Puck."

"Laters."

Quinn raked a hand through her gold locks and let out a breath._ It's now or never._

She crept inside the house and up the stairs. The door to Rachel's room was open and for a moment she was tempted to sit on the bed and wait there but she thought better off it and sat in the hallway.

The house was silent with the exception of the sounds coming from the bathroom. She had been sat waiting for almost an hour, fighting the urge to walk into the bathroom. It had started off quietly, barely carrying over the sound of water rushing from the showerhead but now it almost drowned the other noise and the sobs flooded her senses. She wanted to offer the other girl comfort but she knew she just couldn't barge in on her while she was in the shower.

The blonde contemplated going back outside and calling Puck again, she had been waiting for an hour and there was no indication of the shower ending soon. She was roused from her thoughts by the definitive thud of a body collapsing against tile.

She ran into the bathroom, freezing for a moment as she looked at the crumpled mess behind glass doors, each sob slamming into her.

"Oh my God Rachel," panic resonated through her soft voice.

The smaller girl continued sobbing. Her arm moving frantically, she did nothing to acknowledge her name or that someone else was in the room with her.

Quinn opened the shower door and knelt down, "Rachel?" she reached for the other girls moving arm and pulled it towards her, "Rachel stop." She managed to pry the object that was being worked against skin from the sobbing girls hand and tossed it on the floor. She pulled the naked form of the girl against her body and gently wrapped her arms around her, "Rachel, talk to me." She looked down at the body pressed against hers, what she saw truly horrified her, "Oh God, Rachel what did you do?" she forced out of her throat.

"I can't get him off me," she spoke into the fabric of the blonde's shirt, "Quinn I can't get him off."

"Shh, it's ok sweetie," her hand delicately rubbed the exposed girls back, "everything is gonna be ok."

Glancing around the bathroom she noted the towel in arms reach, "It's ok, shh," she stopped the comforting movement and grabbed the towel, awkwardly folding it with one hand so that it was one long strip, "Rachel I need to put this on your leg ok?"

Rachel didn't move, she continued to sob into Quinn's top until the material of the towel came to rest between her thighs and she was silent, holding her breath.

"Rachel it's ok, it's just me. I need to put the towel there to slow the bleeding, it's just me."

Rachel's eyes were locked on the hands resting on the towel, until they pulled away and resumed stroking her back.

"Why can't I get him off me? I just want him off me," the diva cried, "I cant get him off me."

"Shh, it's ok. We're gonna fix this," she soothed, "I'm just going to call for some help ok?"

The blonde's words fell on deaf ears, the distraught girl was lost somewhere in her thoughts. Clinging to Quinn's shirt as she chanted, "I can't get him off me, I just want him off me," over and over.

She was glad her phone was in her dry pocket, she dialled the number for reinforcements.

"You need to get here quick."

"Wait slow down, what's wrong?"

"Bring the first aid kit that's in the trunk."

"Seriously you're worrying me now. What's wrong? What can't she get off?"  
"Mercedes!"

"I'm at the car already. I'll be there soon."

"Hurry," she didn't wait for a response before she hung up.

"It's gonna be ok sweetie," she pulled Rachel closer, carefully avoiding the freshly damaged skin and slowly rocked her, "it's going to be ok, we'll help you. I promise."

_God please let me wrong. Please don't tell me what I think this is happened to her._

They sat on the floor together, the spray of the shower the only noise outside of sobs and hushed words of comfort as they rocked.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes:** Thank you for all the reviews, and in advance I apologise to all the people who cried or almost cried from the last installment, this one isn't much better. Just when you thought I couldn't break Rachel any more I find something new to do with her, so sorry to all those of you who are wanting her to start getting her happy ending. I promise things will start picking up for Rachel when they go back to school, but I gotta break her to build her up again if that makes sense.

**Warning:** Contains self-harm references and skirts around rape.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

Mercedes had been waiting less than a minute before she tried the door, too worried by the urgency in Quinn's voice to care if it looked like she was breaking into someone's home. She said a small thanks to God when the door opened.

Taking the door off the latch and shutting it she called out, "Quinn?"

"Up here."

The sound of running water filled the house, "Are you in the shower?" She stopped at the top of the stairs, "Where you at?"

"We're in here."

"Girl if you've made me worry for nothing I'm gonna smack you upside that pretty little head of yours," she muttered as she entered Rachel's bedroom.

"Just get in here," Quinn pleaded desperately.

"What's going on?" She stopped in the doorway her eyes going wide, "Oh sweet Jesus." Her eyes scanned the room, taking in every detail. The running shower; the blades, open pack of brillo pads and bottle of bleach in the corner, the white basin stained crimson around the edges and pooling around the drain. The goosepimpled flesh pressed into Quinn's side, the two of them slowly rocking, the pool of water forming. The abandoned brillo pad. "Please tell me she didn't…" her voice faltered, Quinn nodded sadly, "Oh God."

"Can you see if there are any towels around?" the blond spoke for the first time since her friend had seen the trouble they were in, "I had to use the one that was in here already and we really need to get her dry and warm."

"Sure."

"Rachel," she stopped rocking, "sweetie, look at me."

The dark haired girl wouldn't move, she was stuck on a loop, lost somewhere not good inside her head, muttering her chant, "I can't get him off me, why won't he get off me?"

"Rachel."

"I found some towels," Mercedes reappeared, an armload of towels in her arms.

"Sweetie, listen to me," her words were soft, "Mercedes is going to reach over you and turn the shower off and then we're going to get you nice and dry and we'll get you cleaned up ok?" she nodded at Mercedes who did as she was told.

"Hi Rachel," the soulful singer knelt behind her, "I'm just going to wrap a towel around your shoulders ok?"

"Mind her arm."

The diva's sobs died out and her chant stopped as towel connected with the skin of her shoulder blades, slowly drawing her out of her thoughts.

Mercedes carefully tucked the towel under Rachel's arm, seeing the carnage that ran the length of the small girls forearm, "Oh baby girl what did you do?"

"I just wanted to get him off me."

Mercedes looked to the girl that she had come to think of as family with an eyebrow raised questioningly, Quinn shook her head.

"Sweetie, do you think you can stand up?"

She shook her head weakly, coherent thoughts were coming back to her and she felt the weight of every tired muscle.

"Ok, it's ok," Quinn gently brushed wet hair off the face leaning into her, "help me get her up?"

As gently as possible they lifted her up and wrapped a towel around her waist.

"Ok baby girl let's get you on the bed."

Rachel took tiny baby steps, Quinn and Mercedes on either side of her holding her up. It took them ten minutes to walk the few feet to the bed. Silent tears streaked down the starlet's face, each tiny step they took causing the towel between her thighs to rip away from her skin until they sat her on the side of her bed.

"Pass me the first aid kit?"

Mercedes passed Quinn the box she had all but forgotten.

"I think we may need to go to a pharmacy later." The blonde hesitantly nudged open the legs of the girl sat on the bed.

Rachel jerked her legs away from the warm hand as it hovered over her skin.

"Sweetie I need to clean it up, I'm not going to do anything bad to you."

"Rachel we just want to help you, we'd never do anything to hurt you."

She hung her head, carefully arranging the towel to cover her modesty, painfully aware that both girls had seen her without any clothes on and gingerly parted her legs.

Quinn set to work as quick as she could so that the broken girl didn't suffer more than she needed to. She'd finished cleaning and wrapping both thighs and began to clean up the mess that was currently Rachel Berry's left arm.

"Quinn, what are you doing?"

"I'm cleaning you up, you don't want these to get infected."

"You left," her voice was tired and raw, "I told you I was fine and you left."

"You are anything but fine baby girl," Mercedes said as she sat on the floor.

"Why didn't you leave?"

"I wasn't lying when I told you I was worried about you."

"We're not friends," the uncertainty sounded clearly, "why do you care?"

"Because I remember that look," her tone was mournful, "the look that feels like your whole world has come to and end. I was so scared when I found out and I wasn't alone." Tears began to form once again in tired chocolate eyes. "I guess I just didn't want you to go through it alone."

"Ok hold up!" Mercedes half-yell made the other girls jump, "Rachel, you're pregnant?"

Rachel became fascinated with the corner edge of a towel, "I don't know. I haven't taken a test yet," her voice cracked on the last words.

The blonde took her hand in her own, "It's ok. We can pick one up later."

"Why don't I go? I can go now and be back before you know it."

"Are you sure Mercedes?"

"You guys can finish up here. I don't think Rach is up for going anywhere right now."

"Thank you."

"So what am I getting besides…"

"Gauze, antiseptic, dressings and butterfly stitches if they have any," Rachel looked at the blonde with fear, "it's ok. It's just for a couple that are a bit worse than the rest. Butterfly stitches should do the trick. I didn't think you'd want or more to the point would go to the E.R. to get them stitched up."

"Right ok, I'll be as quick as I can," Mercedes stood to leave, "It'll be ok Rachel, I promise," and with those words she left.

"Where do you keep your pyjamas?"

"Top drawer."

Quinn stood and went to the drawers, "Any preference?"

"It doesn't matter," she said dejectively.

"Yes it does, you need something you're comfortable to sleep in."

"What's the point?"

Quinn grabbed a pair of sweats and a baggy shirt, "You need to sleep Rachel."

"I cant, not any more," the tears were steadily flowing, her voice was shaky.

"Shh, don't force yourself," the young mother soothed, "let's just focus on getting you dressed ok? One thing at a time."

Quinn gently removed the towel from around Rachel's shoulders, shirt in hand ready to cover the exposed girls torso, when she noticed the scars. Two distinctive, near identical scars that still retained the pink pigment of the healing process. One on her right collar bone, the other an inch or two lower on the top of her right breast.

Quinn's hand acted of it's own volition, the pads of her fingers unwillingly tracing the ridges of the scar tissue along Rachel's collar bone, "How didn't I see these before."

Rachel snatched the shirt from the blonde and hastily pulled it over her head, grimacing as the sleeve caught on the bandage of her left arm as she slid her arms into place.

"He did these, didn't he?"

"He said he didn't want me to forget him," her breath caught, "that they were so I'd remember even when I became a star." She could feel him on top of her, pressing her shirt against her skin, the denim of his legs dragging against her bare calves. She had to stop him. As swiftly as she had put her shirt on she was swifter in pulling her sweats on.

Quinn stepped towards the now clothed girl and gently wiped away a few of the silently shed tears that clung onto skin, "Sweetie why don't you try sleeping?"

"Because every time I do he's there, when I wake up he's still there," her voice became a whisper as she fought back the fresh sobs that were waiting to burst from her throat, "and I cant get him off me."

"I'll be here when you wake up. I'll get him off you."

"You can't."

The blonde coaxed the frightened girl to lie on the bed. Laying on her side next to her she began to run her fingers through the thick dark mane, "I'll be here when you wake up. I'll get him off of you. I promise. I won't let him hurt you again. I promise."

**Attention:** Thanks for all the feedback, and please keep it up! So next questions for you I have are...

Is it a him or a them that's got to poor old Rachel?

Will Rachel tell Quinn or will Quinn figure it out another way?

Also will Mercedes be able to keep this quiet or will she inadvertently let slip Rachel's secret to Kurt and the rest of the group?

Ok so that's it for now. I can't wait to find out what you all think.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes:** I thought it'd be interesting to see what Quinn and Mercedes' response was to all this. More often than not people focus on the victim (I hate that word) and never really the people that are there for them so I thought I'd give it a try - let me know what you think. This is mostly for a filler while I try and fathom out how mean I'm going to be to poor Rachel.

**Warning:** Contains self-harm & rape references.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

She lay there for thirty minutes running her fingers through the distraught girls hair, fingernails lightly grazing across scalp, before she heard the subtle change in breathing. Finally the pint-sized diva had stopped fighting and succumbed to her exhaustion. The blonde carefully removed herself from the bed. Silently she collected the towels before going to the bathroom and wrapping Rachel's cleaning kit in the bloodstained towel that had been nestled between damaged thighs.

As she came downstairs she heard a vehicle pulling up. She opened the door with her free hand to see Mercedes coming up the path.

"Did you get everything ok?"

"Yeah I got it all, but the looks. Quinn how did you ever get the guts to buy a test? I mean, the looks I got made me feel guilty and ashamed and I wasn't even buying it for me."

"I didn't even think about it to be honest. I was more concerned about taking the test."

Mercedes shut the door quietly, "How is she?"

"She's asleep," it was the only answer she could come up with that didn't feel like a lie, "come on. I want to get this stuff away and the towels in the washer before she wakes up."

The two girls walked into the kitchen, neither wanting to express their thoughts on how they had found their annoying strong willed diva beaten and broken. Quinn put the bottle of bleach and the pack of brillo pads in the cupboard under the sink where she had found other cleaning supplies.

"Quinn what do we do if she is pregnant?"

"Nothing," she sighed, "there isn't anything we can say or do that will make it better. All we can do is be there for her."

The two girls were silent for a moment, complete opposites of the other. One was unmoving, perfectly still, the other a flurry of movements as she put towels in the machine and disposed of what remained from the cleaning kit.

"She'll get rid of it you know that right?" Mercedes voice was distant, as thought it wasn't hers, "If she is, she'll get rid of it."

"Do you honestly believe that?" the blonde knew what her friend was trying to do.

"She has to."

"Mercedes," she took a steadying breath, "she freaked out when Vocal Adrenaline egged her, can you imagine how she'd feel if…it wouldn't just destroy her, it would kill her."

"She has to Quinn. Out of everyone in Glee she's the one that will make it outta here and make something of herself," her voice dropped to a whisper, "I just can't believe Rachel would get herself into something like this."

The blonde bit her lip. Fighting back the tears that wanted to flow with her words, "I don't think she did."

"No." Mercedes began to pace, "Ah hell no! You're wrong." She looked at the blonde and saw the truth in her eyes, "Tell me you're wrong."

"I can't."

"Did she tell you?"

"No."

"Then you could be wrong."

"I'm not," her head hung low, the skin on her fingers crawling at the memory, her voice alien, "he marked her."

"What?"

"When you left, I was helping her get dressed. I took off the towel you put around her shoulders and…he'd marked her." Her fists clenched, the anger that consumed her caused her skin to prickle, "She told me," she swallowed the rock that had formed in her throat, "he told her that they were so she'd never forget, so she'd always remember even when she became a star."

Mercedes was at a loss, "Who? Who would do something like that? Why Rachel," her voice was becoming shrill, "she's done nothing wrong!"

Quinn shrugged her shoulders, she forced herself to calm, for her breathing to return to some kind of normality – she failed. "I don't know, I keep asking these questions in my head and it hurts. It hurts that someone would do such a thing to such a sweet girl. It hurts that I can't kill him because I don't know who he is," she paused for breath, realising that she spoke at the speed Rachel had when she was still Rachel and not the echo she had become, "it hurts because I know there's absolutely nothing I can do or say that will make any of this even close to being remotely ok."

The words hung in the air, neither girl sure of what they could do, unsure if when they opened their mouths if words would form or if they would hear their own strangulated sobs for the girl they had never really bothered with until now.

"She was right. We aren't friends," Quinn slowly regained control of her emotions. "So I'm going to go back upstairs and wait, I promised her I'd be there when she wakes up and when she does I'm going to be there for her, as her friend."

"You can't blame yourself for this."

"I don't. I just wish I'd asked her sooner."

"We all asked her.""

"And we all accepted what we knew was a lie."

"I guess none of us cared enough."

The blonde started heading towards the stairs, "We were all too focused on ourselves."

"We're here now though," Mercedes said sadly as she followed the blonde upstairs.

They stood in the doorway and stared at the sleeping girl. The cover and sheets a tangled mess from where she had been fighting a ghost, the white bandage on her arm now sporting erratically placed brown stains of dried blood, the corners of her eyes sparkling with tears that had no escape.

Quinn turned to Mercedes, "She's said before they have a spare bedroom, why don't you get some rest?"

"What about you?"

"I'm going to sleep in the chair," she held her hand up, silencing Mercedes' protest, "I promised I'd be here when she wakes up."

"Ok. I'm gonna go outside and call mom, she wanted me to let her know where we were staying once we knew."

"Mercedes, you can't tell her anything."

"I can't lie to her, she's my mom."

"We can't tell anyone, if we do she'll never trust us. We wouldn't be able to help her."

"Ok."

Mercedes left and Quinn sat in the chair. She drew her legs up and pulled them close to her chest, one arm holding them in place. She rested her head atop of her knees, her free hand fumbling the gold cross that hung around her delicate neck. Her eyes never left the girl she felt so much pain for. She did the only thing she could do. _God please. Please help her._

**Attention:** I'm still trying to figure out where I'm going with this, a lot of people have said stick to the original idea but at the same time they've said Rachel shouldn't be pregnant which kinda bursts the original idea so at the moment I'm in limbo as to what I'm doing with her. SO my lovely, lovely readers - what do you think? I know some of you are wanting to know what exactly happened and more to the point who did it - fear not all will be revealed soon I'm just tinkering over the what happened bit before I make my final decision but I can tell you one thing - I know EXACTLY who did this and their messed up motives for doing so as well, which I'm hoping will work out ok once I've written the chapter. So yeah generally please review, your reviews have been what's kept this piece going so far and even I'm intrigued as to how this is going to end.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes:** Right guys and girls, finally you get to find out what happened *gasp* LOL I did the best I could do with this, I didn't want to go into too much detail with it, it just didn't feel right. Not at this stage anyways. I hope it worked out ok.

**Warning:** Contains rape references.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

The soft whimpers woke her, she unfurled herself from the chair and made her way to the bed, her eyes regaining focus and adjusting to the poorly lit room. The light from the hallway cast shadows on Rachel's face, she could see she was still asleep, still fighting the ghost that was haunting her sleep.

"Rachel."

She sat on the edge of the bed, her hand gently pushed strands away from the sleeping girls face.

"Sweetie, wake up."

Her fingers graze cheek, causing the dark hair girl to wake up.

She sits up, eyes full of fear and panic, her breaths are sharp and ragged. The blonde places an arm around her shoulders.

"Shh, it's ok, it was just a dream."

Her brain isn't functioning, she can't differentiate between what's real and what's not. All she knows is that she needs someone, she can can't fight him anymore not that she could to begin with, she needs someone to protect her from him. Without thinking she buried her head in the blonde's shoulder and began to cry.

"It's ok sweetie, I got you," her fingers began stroking the ends of the crying girls hair, "you're safe, I've got you."

She felt the burning of her skin, the sharp twinge in her thighs, the itch of her forearm. She pulled away from the comforting warmth of the blonde and looked at her arm. Confusion spread over her worn out features as she shook her head trying to clear the haze, "What happened?"

"Rachel," she rested her hand atop of the other girls, "you don't remember?"

She shook her head, eyes watering.

"Sweetie," she paused unsure of how to tell the confused girl of what she had done, "you…I found you and you'd…you said you were trying to get him off you."

She used the blonde to launch herself from the bed to run to the bathroom, she only just made it. The blond came behind her and pulled the hair from her face while she was sick. Her mind raced, the last twenty-four hours rushing at her in flashes and blurs.

_It's not real, it didn't happen._

Quinn started rubbing circles between her shoulder blades, causing bile to rise in her throat.

_It's not real. They're not here. Today didn't happen. I imagined it. It's not real._

"Is she ok? I know, stupid question but…"

The blonde looked to the door, "She doesn't remember."

Mercedes went to the sink and wet the washcloth that hung from the side. She knelt town beside the toilet and delicately placed the damp cool flannel against the starlet's forehead.

She rested her body against the bowl, leaned her head into the cool washcloth against her forehead. She waited a few minutes, ensuring her stomach wasn't going to expel anything else, her throat burned, it hurt to breathe. "I remember," her voice was filled with shame.

Mercedes removed the now warm washcloth from the diva's head, "How you feeling baby girl?"

"Like someone has run me down with a truck," her words became strangled, "my legs hurt so much. I can't believe I was so stupid."

"You're not stupid," the soulful singer soothed.

"No Mercedes? What kind of person does this to themselves?" she cried before her voice softened, "he was right, I am a freak."

Quinn stopped her movements, "You're not a freak."

She tried to stand on shaky legs, pushing herself up using the toilet. The room started to sway and she felt herself wobble.

The blonde stood and placed her hands on the weakened girls hips, "You wanna go back to bed sweetie?"

"I don't want to sleep," she placed a hand on Quinn's shoulder as she started towards her target, "I just want to sit."

Mercedes and Quinn helped her back to the bed, where she slid over to sit in the middle. Quinn sat beside her and asked the question no one wanted the answer to, "What happened Rachel?"

The seconds that passed felt like minutes, minutes like hours before the broken girl made any sound.

"Sometimes," she started slowly, carefully choosing her words, "I like to go to the park and just sit on the swings and think. There's a short cut behind some of the houses, I've always used it."

Mercedes sat at the end of the bed, silently waiting for Rachel to continue.

"I didn't realise he'd followed me from the park until he shouted freak."

"It's ok sweetie, take your time."

"It's my fault," she cried, "I shouldn't have said anything to him."

"What did you say baby girl?"

_"Freak I'm talking to you!" he shouted._

_ She turned around, "What do you want? How have I upset you this time?"_

_ "You called me a Neanderthal the other day."_

_ "You're point being?"_

_ "I looked it up in the dictionary."_

_ "I'm surprised you were able to read it," she sniped._

_ "You think you're so much better than me, just because you can sing."_

_ "I never said I was better than you and I can do a lot more than just sing as you so eloquently put it."_

_ He grabbed her by her collar before she'd even had a chance to turn away, "You're a freak of nature. You act all proud cos your dad's are perverts," he snarled, "you're what happens when fags prey on innocent young women."_

_ "Let go," she stuttered._

_ "Let's see if I can make you hit those high notes you love to sing so much."_

Quinn and Mercedes were silently crying, now they understood why they no longer heard her passion when she sang. He took it from her.

"I always thought that I would scream, that I would fight back or do something, anything." She couldn't look at either girl, her eyes were downcast, focused on her lap. "I couldn't do anything. I just…froze. It hurt so much and I couldn't even cry. He was so heavy, I couldn't get him off me."

Quinn found her voice, "You know him," it wasn't a question, "Rachel tell me, who did this to you?"

Mercedes moved so that she was sat the other side of Rachel, not knowing what to do or say.

"I can't, I'm sorry," the memory pushed her too far, she broke down, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Quinn enveloped her in a hug, her own tears flowing freely, "Shh, it's ok. Don't be sorry." Her hands found themselves once again in Rachel's hair, "You didn't do anything wrong."

"You didn't do anything Rachel. This is his fault not yours," Mercedes promised.

Rachel cried into Quinn for more than an hour before she fell asleep again, her arms holding on tightly to the blonde who continued to stroke her hair and utter nonsense words of comfort.

The three girls lay on the bed, two unable to sleep as they protectively watched over their sleeping broken star.

**Attention:** Right so I think you'll be glad to know that I'm pretty sure what I'm doing about the pregnancy issue now, well I'm 90% sure. I just got to write the chapter and see if it turns out ok. Thank you for all your feedback, it helps me so much when I'm stuck. I've got some more questions for you all.

First off though, am I the only person this really bugs: they make such a big deal about Rachel's dad's being gay and then they're NEVER there! Sorry it just bugs me, why make a big deal of it and then have them be absent? We have no idea what they're like! It just annoys me. LOL

My question is...does she tell her dad's what's happened or do they discover it another way OR does she try to pull a Quinn and keep what happened a secret?

Which brings me to my next question, do they or don't they? I'm kinda torn in two about whether they should be more than friends. What do you all think?

Oh and sorry I didn't tell you who it was! LOL I promise you will find out, I'm sure you'll have probably figured it out already, but I have a plan for how you're all gonna find out. I know I'm mean, I'm sorry but this idea just won't leave my head and I can't think of any other way of revealing who it is that I would enjoy writing as much as I think I'm gonna enjoy writing this idea.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes:** Right thought I'd best give you all an update. I wanted to build some more on the relationships between them all. I'm hoping it all turns out ok. Also sorry for the ending but I have a plan for the test bit and it'll get a chapter of it's own so you'll just have to wait LOL Sorry!

**Warning:** Don't think there's anything to warn you about this time around.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

Quinn woke up dazed and confused as to why she couldn't see her daughters crib, a fleeting bout of panic washed over her until she acknowledged the weight of an arm across her waist. She looked at the sleeping girl beside her before glancing at the clock. 05:27, time for Beth's first feed of the day. For once she found herself hating her internal body clock, she was awake and once she was awake that was it. She lay still listening to the sounds of breathing that filled the room. Convinced that both girls were sound asleep she carefully rotated her body so that the arm across her waist fell to her side and slowly left the bed. She took one last glance at the girl she had once thought to be unbreakable and noticed that even in sleep it was clear that the starlet was seriously troubled.

Downstairs in the kitchen the blonde quietly searched for de-caf coffee but soon realised that she would have to go to the store, sighing she sat at the breakfast island and found herself dialling out on her cell.

"Hey."

"You do realised if it'd been anyone else calling at this time of morning I'd kill them."

"Yeah," she let out a less than half-hearted chuckle, "how is she?"

"She's good, she slept through most of the night."

"That's good."

"Quinn," concern tainted his voice, "are you ok?"

She fought back the tears, "I'm just tired."

"Why don't you have some coffee?" he knew she wouldn't go back to sleep.

"I can't. There's no de-caf."

"So have some regular."

"And what about Beth?"

"She'll be fine, she took the formula last night and this morning with no fuss."

The thought of her daughter after last night resulted in word vomit. "Puck, we'll always take care of her won't we? I mean, we'd never let anything bad happen to her would we?"

"Of course not, I would die before I let anything bad happen to either of my girls."

A faint smile crossed her lips, even though they weren't together he still looked out for her.

"Quinn, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Something's wrong if you're questioning if we'll always look after Beth."

"It's…it was just a rough night. I'm fine. I promise."

"You can talk to me you know," his voice was soft.

"I know, I just can't. Not right now."

"Ok, if you're sure?"

"I am," she cleared her throat, forced herself to sound normal, "what have you got planned today?"

"Finn's coming over," he paused, thankful that his friendship with Finn was healing, "we're taking Beth shopping."

"Puck…"

"Don't worry, I got paid yesterday. I was gonna get her some new clothes, hers are looking a little snug."

She smiled, "She's growing so fast."

"She really is," Quinn yawned, "go and get your coffee woman."

"Ok. I'll call you later?"

"Ok. Say bye mommy, bye-bye mommy."

"You're such a goof."

"No I'm not she's waving, bye-bye mommy."

"Bye baby, mommy misses you."

"Bye Quinn."

"Bye Puck, and thank you."

"What for?"

"For being such an amazing dad."

"Thanks," Quinn could hear the strain of emotions in his voice, "right I'm gonna go."

"Bye."

The blonde closed her phone and started busying herself, retrieving a cup from the mug tree while she waited for the kettle to boil.

"Hey."

"Jesus!" The blonde turned, "Rachel, you scared me."

"Sorry."

"Don't be I just didn't hear you. What are you doing up? I thought you were asleep."

"You weren't there," she stared at the floor feeling awkward, "when I woke up. I didn't know where you'd gone."

"Oh sweetie I'm sorry."

"I know why I'm up so early on a Saturday," she took a seat at the island, "why are you?"

"I always get up at stupid o'clock," she finished making her coffee, "I have to. It's Beth's first feed and if I left it any later I'd never be on time for school so I don't change times at the weekend."

Silence filled the room as both girls contemplated what they could say to one another, neither sure how to be just friends given their past.

"Quinn, do you," she paused, "do you ever regret keeping her?"

"Honestly?"

The dark haired girl nodded.

"No. I mean it's hard and it's scary," she laughed, "most of the time I feel like I'm a zombie I'm that sleep deprived." The blonde took a seat opposite the pint sized diva. "But I couldn't imagine my life without her, I'm a better person and I know it's because of her."

"You were never a bad person," she whispered.

Quinn smiled at her sweetly.

"Quinn, what if…I am?" she couldn't bring herself to say it.

"Then we'll do whatever you want to do."

Tears began to snake their way down her face, "I'm scared."

The blonde stood and moved round to the other side of the island, drawing the other girl into a hug, "It's ok to be scared sweetie."

"Were you scared when you…" she sniffled.

"I was beyond scared. I was petrified."

"Really?"

"Really," she said sincerely before her tone changed, "although if you tell anyone that I may have to kill you."

Rachel let out a small laugh, "Ok."

"I can't remember the last time I heard that."

"What?" her face scrunched up in confusion.

"Your laugh."

Rachel blushed and hung her head.

"Sweetie," she used her index finger to lift the other girls face, "that's a good thing, we need to find a way to make you laugh more often."

"Ahem," Mercedes stood in the doorway, "I hate to break up this sentimental moment the two of you seem to have going on but if someone doesn't point me in the direction of coffee real quick none of y'all is gonna be laughing."

The starlet held in her laughter.

"She's being serious," the blonde stepped away from the sniggering girl and started to make more coffee, "she's a real grump until she's had her fix."

"Yeah, yeah," she muttered, "how you feeling baby girl? You manage to get some sleep?"

"A little. I didn't have anymore nightmares," she fiddled with her hands nervously, "I slept better with you guys there. I don't know, I guess I felt kinda…safe."

"Good," a cup of coffee slid in front of her, "oh thank God!"

"I'm pretty sure I made the coffee," Quinn joked, "Oh God, I'm a total ass. Rachel did you want coffee?"

"It's ok, I don't drink the stuff." She thought a moment, "I think I know what I do want though."

Quinn and Mercedes look at her quizzically.

The diva gathered her courage and stuttered, "I want to take the test."

"Sweetie are you sure?"

"Yeah baby girl it ain't going nowhere."

"My dads will be home tomorrow and I feel safer with you guys here and if I don't I never will. If I put it off til later I'll just spend all day thinking about it and I won't be able to get anything productive done and Mr. Schue wants me to work on my solo. No I'm not sure but I just want it over with and just thinking about it scares me so I want to take it while I'm not alone," her words were rapid and breathless, a little piece of the old Rachel Berry.

"Baby girl you're not alone," Mercedes stood to hug the small girl.

Quinn joined in the hug, "Yeah you have us now sweetie."

**Attention: I'm just gonna be lazy and repeat last chapters questions cos I'm getting some rather interesting answers so lets keep going shall we? **

Right so I think you'll be glad to know that I'm pretty sure what I'm doing about the pregnancy issue now, well I'm 90% sure. I just got to write the chapter and see if it turns out ok. Thank you for all your feedback, it helps me so much when I'm stuck. I've got some more questions for you all.

First off though, am I the only person this really bugs: they make such a big deal about Rachel's dad's being gay and then they're NEVER there! Sorry it just bugs me, why make a big deal of it and then have them be absent? We have no idea what they're like! It just annoys me. LOL

My question is...does she tell her dad's what's happened or do they discover it another way OR does she try to pull a Quinn and keep what happened a secret?

Which brings me to my next question, do they or don't they? I'm kinda torn in two about whether they should be more than friends. What do you all think?

Oh and sorry I didn't tell you who it was! LOL I promise you will find out, I'm sure you'll have probably figured it out already, but I have a plan for how you're all gonna find out. I know I'm mean, I'm sorry but this idea just won't leave my head and I can't think of any other way of revealing who it is that I would enjoy writing as much as I think I'm gonna enjoy writing this idea.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **Sorry it took so long to get this written. I know it's shorter than the other chapters but I figured if I made it too long I could lose some of the impact. Also sorry for the ending, I really couldn't think of a better way to wrap this up. Anyways I hope you enjoy it.

**Warning:** Don't think there's anything to warn you about this time around.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

She knew before they even started the nervous wait what the result would be. She had done when she saw the broken diva at her most vulnerable state. She probably wouldn't have noticed if she had been anyone else, but she wasn't. She tried to force her mind to something else but nothing got rid of the words she had said to Coach Sylvester, they just kept niggling at her. Telling her what she didn't want to be true. "_My baby bump isn't that bad, it's just like I had a big lunch." _She fought to get those words out of her head but they were there and that was it. _She must be at least eight weeks._ She tried to remember the last time the starlet had been her normal annoying self. She couldn't. She tried to remember when the change had happened. It was then she realised it didn't, not really. She had returned from the holidays changed, there was no subtle decline or anything really, she'd just returned to school a different person. _It can't be that long. Someone would've said something right? It's March for Gods' sake! I mean, someone must care more than I do? Someone had to call her on the lie. Shit. We really aren't friends. How can we all have been so clueless?_

She hoped to God the test would be negative. She didn't know if the fragile girl could deal with anything else on top of everything she had to deal with. _Why did this happen?_ She couldn't fathom it out; there was no logical reasoning behind this. _What did she ever do wrong to deserve this?_ She knew it wasn't about that; there was no wrong great enough for the girl in question to commit that would mean she deserved what had happened to her. _No one deserves this._

She tried to keep her mind busy, focused on anything that wasn't this. _I'll never get him off will I?_ Her skin crawled. _I feel so dirty._ The feeling wouldn't leave her, why would it when it had clung to her since it had happened. _I'm so disgusting._ She didn't understand that it wasn't her fault, that it would've happened even if she hadn't said anything to him._ It's not going to be positive._ Even she knew it was a lie. _It's stress. It's got to be._ She tried to justify her wishful thinking. _I've not eaten all that much. Lack of sleep can be a factor too._ She knew it was just that, wishful thinking. _I'm just stressed, that's all._

They all watched expectantly, each of them praying it would be negative. Each of them holding their breath as they made silent pleas.

_Please God let me be wrong._

_ Please don't let him have done that to her._

_ Please…_

One blue line appeared, instantly accompanied by another, the three young women sat in silence for a moment. Two lines. They all wished for one. Two lines – positive. None of them could understand.

They looked at her warily, watching for her response. She just sat there. Catatonic.

"Rachel?" she placed a hand against the skin of the undamaged arm, "Baby girl?"

She couldn't process this. Her brain just couldn't get it to make sense. She didn't know what to think, what to do, how to react. Her body decided her reaction for her. She threw up. She watched the bile soak into the carpet for a moment and then stood to leave the room.

"Rachel," the blonde stood to follow, "where are you going?"

Her voice was empty, "I need to clean it up."

She placed a hand on the starlet's shoulder, "Sweetie…"

"I have to clean it up," her voice broke.

"Sweetie, stop."

"It'll ruin the carpet."

She held on to the small girl, trying to draw her into her arms.

"I have to…" she stopped struggling and let the blonde wrap her arms around her. She collapsed against the slightly taller girl, sobs rendering her body useless.

The ex-cheerio gave way, lowering herself and the sobbing girl to the floor. Words failed her; there really was nothing she could say.

The soulful singer came and sat beside the girls and slowly rubbed the once strong diva's back. She knew there was nothing she could do, so she offered the one thing she could think of that she knew the blonde would be unable to do, "Baby girl…if you want me to…I'll take you to the clinic and I'll stay with you."

"I can't…" she sobbed into the blonde's chest.

"Shhh sweetie, don't think about it now," she soothed.

"I can't…" she tried desperately to finish her sentence.

"No one's gonna make you do anything you don't want to sweetie."

She let it all fall on her. Everything that had happened, trying to keep it secret, her worst fears confirmed. "I can't breathe Quinn. I feel like I can't breathe."

**Attention:** Right lovely people, first off thank you SO much for all the reviews! Keep them coming! :) This chapter I actually have a question for you as well, so no repeats this time. Right so here we go...

Should Rachel go ahead with the school assembly performance or should Quinn and Mercedes talk to Mr. Schue to get him to either a) postpone it or b) rearrange it so that Rachel isn't in the spotlight as such?

Right well that's it for now, I'll try update again soon. I look forward to hearing what you all think.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **Hey guys so here's an update for you, sorry for the lack of Mercedes but I thought it was time to get the foundations of a friendship between Quinn and Rachel down. I hope it works out ok.

**Warning:** Don't think there's anything to warn you about this time around.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

The two girls sat opposite ends of the couch, they didn't know what to say to each other. They were complete opposites now linked by one thing neither of them would have ever thought they would experience let alone have in common.

"Where's Mercedes?" her voice surprised her, she half expected to open her mouth and for nothing to come out of it.

"She's upstairs," the starlet looked at her confused, "she's cleaning."

"What is she – oh," her face fell, "she shouldn't be doing that."

"There's no point in trying to stop her, so don't even think about it," she knew the other girl was ready to march upstairs and demand the soulful singer stopped what she was doing, "she's probably nearly finished by now anyway."

"What? How long has she been gone for?"

"At least half an hour, maybe longer."

"Oh. I didn't realise she'd been gone so long," her voice was quiet.

"Yeah, you kind of spaced out on us…I think catatonic would be more accurate."

Silence filled the room, the dark haired diva chewed her lip nervously while the blonde folded her hands neatly in her lap.

"What would you do?" her voice was barely a whisper.

"I don't know Rachel, this isn't like me and Beth," she wanted the smaller girl to understand, "I was responsible. I made a choice. You had yours taken from you. I guess what I'm trying to say is the rules don't apply. It's about what you want to do."

"I don't know anymore," her voice full of defeat as she admitted it to herself.

She stayed silent, waiting for the other girl to continue.

"Everything I've done has always been meticulously planned, I've always known exactly what to do. I've known who I am, what I wanted to do with my life since I was four. I don't anymore. I don't know anything. I've never been ashamed of who I am…"

"You shouldn't be ashamed of anything, especially who you are," she emphasises the last three words.

"Yes I should…I'm disgusting," the conviction in her voice conveying how much she truly believed that.

"No you're not."

"I am. I'm damaged goods."

The blonde knelt in front of the starlet and looked up into troubled eyes, "Sweetie, you're not. I promise you, you are many things but you are neither disgusting or damaged goods. I know you don't believe that right now but I swear to God it's true."

"I'm…" her words stopped, unsure of how much more she should or could reveal of herself.

"What Rachel?"

"I'm so lost," the words were so simple for her, none of her usual eloquent vocabulary could have said what she was feeling, they were so very simple but they spoke volumes.

"It's ok to be lost, everyone gets lost sometimes," she gently squeezed the smaller girls hand, "you just have to make sure you don't stay that way."

"I don't know how."

She felt a pain for the other girl, she wish she could make all of this disappear but she knew it wasn't simple like that. Nothing ever was. "Me and Mercedes, we're going to help you ok?"

Everything about her was so fragile, even her voice sounded like that of a small child's, "Ok."

"So," the golden haired mother decided it was time to get the poor girl to think of something else, "what do you want to do right now?"

"Take a shower," she saw the flash of concern, "I've been sick twice which is more than enough to make me feel gross."

"Ok," Quinn let out a small laugh, never did she think she'd her Rachel 'my vocabulary is that of an Oxford dictionary' Berry use the word gross, "what about after that?"

"I don't know, I'm tired but I don't want to sleep, not right now. I just want to do something that involves no form of thinking."

"We could watch a DVD of one of those musicals you're always on about? You never know you might be able to convert Mercedes."

Rachel found herself laughing, "Just Mercedes?"

"Yeah well you know it'll take more than just one DVD to convert me," she said playfully.

She smiled weakly, she realised this was the other girls attempt at offering her friendship. She knows she should be happy about this. She just wished it was under different circumstances.

"Where did you go?"

Rachel looked at the ex-Cheerio confused, "Huh?"

"Just now, where did you go?"

"I was just thinking…"

"What about?" the young mother was genuinely interested.

"The last few days," she lowered her eyes from the ones that were so intently focused on her, "I never thought you'd be the one to care more than anyone else about what was wrong."

Quinn was overcome with guilt and sadness, "Neither did I to be honest."

"Why did you?"

"Why did I what?"

"Why did you care? Why do you care?" she was so vulnerable, part of her berated herself for asking the question, the other part of her needed to know this wasn't some plan to publicly humiliate her.

"Because I remember how scared and alone I felt," she feels her face reddening, "I just didn't like the idea of you feeling like that. I didn't realise that I was right and so wrong at the same time. I just wanted you to know that I knew how scary those nine months are going to be, but you wouldn't have to go through it alone."

"Thank you," her voice was strained.

"Why don't we go see if Mercedes is done with your bathroom? Once you've showered I'll change your dressings and we'll put a DVD on like we said yeah?"

"Quinn, I…" she didn't know how to express how grateful she was to the girl who yesterday she was not quite friends with, "thank you."

"Yeah you said that already," she smiled at girl that a not long ago she wouldn't have given a second thought to, "come on then."

**Attention:** Ok well once again thank you so much for the reviews and as always keep them coming! I hope you guys are ready to meet the Berry's cos that's what I've got planned for you all next.

Question, any ideas on names for Rachel's dads? I am honestly struggling here, was thinking of giving them something simple but after reading other people's work I'm beginning to wonder if that's the way to go.

Also you're like 2 chapters away from finding out who done it! I have a question surrounding that...do you want the whole Glee club to find out together or just Quinn and Mercedes? Also who really wants to see Mercedes beat the crap outta the guy?

Right well that's it for now. I look forward to hearing what you all think.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **Well would you look at that, got some great feedback and a few hours later I have another update for you all :) See the power you guys have? LOL Anyways as promised I introduce to you the Berry's - I hope you like how I've portrayed them, a few people asked me that they not be mean as they feel they're portrayed like that far too much so guys I hope you're happy with this. Also I felt that some Quinn and Mercedes was needed so I hope you all enjoy what I've done.

**Warning:** Don't think there's anything to warn you about this time around.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

By Sunday lunchtime the three girls felt more comfortable around each other, they knew that from now on they would stick together. The previous evening had been spent very much the way Quinn and Rachel had agreed; they spent it on the couch watching musicals, Mercedes singing along to the songs that they had covered in Glee. They had hoped they would hear Rachel's voice but she stayed silent throughout, eyes clouded over with tiredness and emotions not even she knew what to make of.

As they sat around the breakfast island trying to figure out what to have for lunch, they heard the front door open.

"Rachel!"

"Baby we're home."

The voices carried in from the hallway, "Rae whose car is that out front?"

She didn't know what to do or say, everything had changed since she'd seen her dads on Friday morning before school, her throat felt tight and her mouth desert dry as she forced herself to speak, "I didn't think you guys were back until tonight?"

"Yeah neither did we," his voice grew stronger as he neared the kitchen finally appearing in the doorway, "but the traffic was pretty much non-existent."

Quinn and Mercedes looked at the surprisingly tall man before them, he was a good-looking man and the source of Rachel's tanned skin but clearly not her height.

"Hi there," he beamed brightly at the three girls, "Rae who are your friends?"

She glanced at the other two girls nervously, seeking their approval to introduce them as her friends, both of them smiled at her softly. She pointed at each girl, "This is Mercedes and this is Quinn Daddy, we're all in Glee club together."

"Great, it was a shame about Regionals but hey there's always the next time right?"

Quinn and Mercedes smiled nervously at Rachel's Daddy.

"Leroy," a much shorter man (definitely the source of Rachel's height) appeared beside the taller man, "are you scaring these poor girls? I'm sorry girls, sometimes he just doesn't stop and think before he opens his mouth." The bespectacled man smiled warmly, the smile showing clearly in his eyes, "I'm Hiram and motor-mouth here is Leroy."

Quinn and Mercedes couldn't help but laugh, apparently their little diva was very much like her Daddy.

Despite how much she no longer wanted her parents to be part of her life, her upbringing reared its head, "It's nice to meet your sirs."

Hiram feigned hurt, "There will be no sirs, you'll make us feel old!"

"I may be a motor-mouth," Leroy laughed, "but as you can clearly see Hiram is the drama queen."

Quinn and Mercedes were besides themselves with laughter, that old adage about the apple never falling far from the tree was ridiculously true, throw in Shelby's need to be the star performer and you could see all three of them in Rachel.

"What have you girls got planned?" Leroy asked.

"We were going to order a pizza or something and watch a DVD," Mercedes provided.

Leroy glanced at his daughter, "Does this mean your self-imposed hunger strike has come to an end Rae? Ow!" he glared at Hiram who had just jabbed him in the ribs with an elbow.

"Don't worry Mr. B, she'll eat," Mercedes said jokingly, "even if I have to force her. One skinny butt white girl is more than enough for me to deal with."

Hiram and Leroy laughed, "Ok well you girls have fun, we'll be upstairs unpacking if you need anything. Rae my wallet's in the hall, pay for the pizza with what's in there ok?"

"Thank you Daddy," she called to the retreating backs of her dads as they disappeared up the stairs.

Quinn and Mercedes turned to face Rachel, "You're dads are nice baby girl, you should talk to them."

"I can't."

"You've always said you're honest with them about everything though," Mercedes was truly confused, she didn't understand how Rachel could keep something like to herself for so long.

"I don't know how to tell them and I don't think I could do that to them," her voice dropped, "it would really hurt them if they knew…I can't do that to them."

"But they really love, they'd be there for you," Mercedes pushed, she knew that her and Quinn wouldn't be able to stay forever and she knew that the broken diva needed all the support she could get right now.

"Mercedes," Quinn shook her head, "your dads really are great Rachel. Now I'm not sure about you guys but I'm starving, can we please order pizza?"

Rachel gave Quinn a look that she hoped conveyed her gratitude, "Yeah I'm a little hungry myself."

A few hours later Rachel stood in the hallway getting ready to say goodbye to the girls that she was now pretty sure she could call her friends when her dads made their reappearance.

"Don't feel like you have to leave because we're back girls," Hiram spoke, "you are more than welcome to stay for dinner."

"Thanks Mr. B," Mercedes smiled, "but I think my mom will send a search party out if we don't get back soon."

"Thank you so much for the offer," Quinn smiled, her eyes never left Rachel's she needed her to know how much she wished she could stay there for her, "but I really have to go pick Beth up."

"Ok then girls," Hiram smiled, "well it was lovely to have met you. It's nice to have finally met some of Rachel's friends."

"It truly is a pleasure girls," Leroy chimed in, "feel free to come over whenever you want, you're always welcome here."

"Thank you again," Quinn smiled politely.

"Rae come to kitchen when you're done saying goodbye and we'll sort out some dinner ok?" and with that her parents left the girls to their goodbyes.

Mercedes pulled Rachel into a hug, "We'll see you tomorrow ok?" releasing the small girl she offered a smile, "We'll pick you up in the morning ok?"

"Ok," Rachel said sheepishly, "you really don't have to though Mercedes, my Dad doesn't mind dropping me off on his way to work."

"We'll pick you in the morning," Mercedes said pointedly.

"Thank you."

Quinn gently wrapped her arms around Rachel, "If you need anything, text me ok?"

"Ok," she whispered.

"I mean it sweetie," she gave the starlet one last gentle squeeze before releasing her, "I don't care if it's cos you can't sleep. If you need anything you just text me ok? If I don't reply and you need something call me."

"But…"

"Promise me?"

"I promise," Rachel whispered.

"Right c'mon on then mama, your baby girl is probably wondering where the hell we are," Mercedes opened the door and started towards the car offering Rachel a final wave, "see you in the morning baby girl."

Rachel stood in the open doorway until Mercedes and Quinn drove off up the road and then headed to the kitchen.

"Your friends seem nice," Hiram said, "can we expect to see more of them?"

"I hope so," Rachel said earnestly.

"Is Beth Quinn's daughter?" Leroy asked.

"Yeah she is, she's a beautiful little girl."

"Make sure you let her know that it's ok for her to bring Beth over with her next time she visits if she wants to," Leroy smiled.

"Thank you Daddy."

* * *

Quinn sat on her bed, Beth cradled against her delicate frame, whispering promises to her daughter, "Mommy loves you, I will always love you no matter what, ok? And I promise I will never, ever let anybody hurt you."

A tentative knock against her open door alerted her to Mercedes presence.

"Hey," she smiled at the girl she owed so much to.

"Hey, can I come in?"

"Course you can, it's your house."

"It's yours too," she sat beside Quinn, "I heard what you were saying to Beth."

"Oh," embarrassment began to creep up her neck.

"No one's ever gonna hurt this little girl, and if they ever did you know I'd beat them to death before they even had a chance to do anything else."

"Yeah I know," her voice was filled with sadness, "I just…I wouldn't want anyone to hurt her."

"You're worried that someone would hurt her the way Rachel's been hurt aren't you?"

"How can I not be? There's so many monsters in the world. Rachel's a good person, I mean yeah sure I'll admit I've never been her number one fan but I'd never wish that on her."

"I know that," Mercedes gave Quinn's knee a squeeze, "I don't think anyone would wish that on her…now all we gotta do is figure out how to help her."

"I don't know, this isn't something that can be fixed quickly," she stroked Beth's cheek with her thumb, "the next few months are gonna be so hard on her. It's not bad enough that she's been…" even she struggled to voice the word, "but to be pregnant because of it, I don't think I could imagine anything worse."

"We'll stick by here though right?"

Quinn nodded, "Definitely, she can't do this alone."

"Good," Mercedes paused, "I think we should talk to Mr. Schue."

"What? Mercedes are you insane? Did you not listen to me about how much we need her to trust us right now?"

"I'm not on about telling him, I think we should try and get him to cancel the assembly."

"Do you think he would?"

"No," Mercedes admitted, "but I really don't think Rachel wants or needs to be put in front of everyone right now."

"I know, I don't know if she'll ever truly want to sing again," the thought of that saddened both girls, "but for now I think you're right, we'll talk to Mr. Schue tomorrow."

Mercedes stood to leave, happy that they would be doing something that would hopefully help their distressed star, "Quinn, stop worrying so much about Beth. You really are a great mom."

**Attention:** Seriously guys thank you so much for all the feedback and please, please, please keep it coming, it really does help to get my brain thinking.

Erm...let's see what can I ask you this time...

Oh I know!

Would you like the Berry's to find out cos of something dramatic happening or would you like Rachel to tell them or would you rather they discovered another way?

Look forward to hearing your thoughts!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **You get 3 updates from me all in less than 24 hours just cos the feedback I'm getting is really getting my brain working! You see the importance of your reviews? LOL Right well I found a way around the whole assembly thing and I hope you all like what I've done. Enjoy!

**Warning:** Don't think there's anything to warn you about this time around.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

Mercedes and Quinn turned up early for Glee club, thankful to find Mr. Schuester in his office sorting through the sheet music they would need for today's practice.

Quinn knocked on the door before opening the door, "Mr. Schue…have you got a minute?"

He looked up from the stack of papers, "Sure Quinn, come on in," both girls entered his office and shut the door, "and Mercedes. So girls," he indicated for them to take a seat, "to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"We need to talk to about the assembly," Quinn said matter of factly.

"To be honest Mr. Schue, we don't think it's a good idea," Mercedes voiced.

"I see," he looked at the girls his face filled with confusion, "why's that?"

"It's the solo," the soulful singer spoke softly, hoping to convey her true meaning.

"Is this to do with Rachel?"

They nodded.

"Ok, what about the solo?"

"We think you should cut it," Mercedes spoke honestly, "or give it to someone else."

"Rachel's not been her best lately, I get that," Mr. Schue wasn't sure why the girls were in his office, "but everyone has their off days and sometimes they can have off weeks, that doesn't mean that they're not good at what they do."

"It's not that Mr. Schue," Quinn carefully chose her words, not wanting to reveal anything, "it's just that being the soloist, that's a lot of pressure and Rachel really could do without that kind of stress right now."

He tried to hide the shock he was feeling from his voice, "You're genuinely worried about her, aren't you?"

They nodded, he could see the concern in their eyes and something else that troubled him.

"Do you know what's wrong with Rachel?"

The two girls exchanged a nervous glance at each other, neither sure as to whether they should admit to knowing what was wrong with the clubs star or to plead ignorance.

"Is there anything I can do to help her?"

Mercedes looked sadly at her teacher, wishing she could tell him and ask for him that very question, "Right now Mr. Schue all we can do is just let her be as quiet as she needs to be."

"Being the centre of attention at the assembly just wouldn't be the best thing for her right now," Quinn added, hoping that this would be enough to sway his decision.

Mr. Schue nodded thoughtfully, "Ok well I think I can figure something out."

"Thank you Mr. Schue," they said in unison, before leaving his office and taking their seats leaving a seat between them for the girl they felt they needed to protect.

As the room started to fill up they watched anxiously for the girl they had spent most of the day worrying about, they let out a sigh of relief when they saw her walk into the room. She seemed fascinated with the floor, her eyes never once looked up.

Quinn stood and walked towards the other girl, "Hey," she waited for Rachel to lift her head to meet her eyes, "we…erm…we saved you a seat, if you wanted to come sit with us?" The blonde couldn't understand why she felt so nervous approaching the girl she had once terrorised with pleasure, she didn't realise that she felt that the girl who once annoyed the hell out of her was so fragile that if she said the wrong thing she could break her.

Rachel mumbled something that was intelligible before following Quinn over to the two seats by Mercedes.

Quinn and Mercedes sat either side of her, effectively shielding her from the male presence in the room. They were almost huddled together and their voices were low so that no one else could hear them, all anyone could hear from any of them was a low hum of words that only the three of them could hear.

"Did you even sleep at all last night sweetie?" her voice was beyond concerned, short of telling the smaller girl that she looked like hell she had no idea what to say to her.

"I tried to," the star suppressed a yawn, "in the end I just gave up."

"We need to figure out a way for you to get some sleep baby girl, it's not good for you to be awake twenty-four seven. Even insomniacs sleep at some point."

Rachel was about to argue that she was ok, she would take a nap or something later when Mr. Schuester addressed the group.

"Right guys, I know we're due to perform at the end of the week but I wanted to shake things up a bit," the group looked at him confused, "I'm going to switch some of you around. It has come to my attention that I use the same people over and over again and that's not fair to the rest of you or to them." His eyes skated towards the girl he was doing this for, "So Santana, you'll be doing the solo, Tina and Brittany you'll be doing the backing vocals for her."

The group erupted in hushed chatter, none of them quite understanding why Santana had suddenly landed the key solo for their performance.

"Kurt, I want you to swap over with Rachel in the group performance," Mr. Schue looked at the group, "well let's not just sit here, we've got four days to get this down so come on let's get going."

Rachel looked from one side to the other, eyeing up the two girls who knew her biggest secret, suddenly she felt the icy tendrils of panic grip her chest, "Does he know?"

Quinn placed a reassuring hand on Rachel's knee, "No, we just convinced him that it would be better if right now you weren't in the spotlight so much."

She felt tears prick at her eyes, she hated how she couldn't control her emotions anymore. She placed a hand on top of the one that rested on her knee, "Thank you."

**Attention:** Right guys seriously keep coming with the feedback, it really does honestly help me out.

I've completely forgotten what I asked last time around so forgive me if I end up repeating myself.

I've been getting mixed feedback about Mercedes beating the crap outta the douche bag, it seems a lot of you would like to see the other Glee kids get involved - is that just my imagination or is that the general opinion?

Also I'm thinking of pulling Rachel's dads into school, Figgins is not impressed (I'm not telling you why yet) and I think that perhaps the Berry's could find out that way - what do you all think?

Right so please, please, please keep the reviews coming!

Oh and just to tease you all - I hope you're all ready for the shit to hit the fan. Coming next - time to reveal who the douche bag is, although I'm pretty sure most of you have figured it out by now. But seriously, the shit will fly my friends LOL


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **Well I was quite surprised to get this one turned around so quickly, I thought after yesterday's 3 updates my brain would go on strike LOL luckily it didn't and this chapter ended up being surprisingly long. As promised I finally reveal who done it! *Enter dramatic music* Also finally Rachel feels something at long last, there's only so much a person can take before they break! Also sorry for the cliff hanger ending but if I kept on going this chapter would've been ridiculously long. Enjoy!

**Warning:** Hinted violence, mention of rape.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

By Wednesday they had noticed that she wasn't eating at lunch, not once on Monday or Tuesday had the girl they were so worried about even stuck her head in the school cafeteria, so when they noticed she wasn't there on Wednesday they decided it was time they did something about it.

"How are we supposed to find her?"

"Mercedes are you really asking that question?" the blonde looked at her friend incredulously, one eyebrow raised questioningly, "Seriously think about it, where's the one place she would seek sanctuary in this school?"

"You really think she'd be there?" she asked as they made their way through the now empty corridors.

"That's where I found her on Friday," she answered sadly, thinking of the way she had tried to force an answer from the broken girl.

They entered the room to find the girl they sought sat at the piano, fingers hovering over the keys as though she had forgotten how to play.

"Hey baby girl."

Rachel jumped at the intrusion, she had been lost in her thoughts and hadn't heard the door open. She turned to face the two girls that looked at her with worried expressions, "Hi…what are you guys doing here?"

"We could ask you the same question," Quinn sat next to her on the stool, "why aren't you eating lunch?"

"I'm not hungry…" she lied, in truth she was starving but every time she thought about food she felt sick.

"You need to eat something," the blonde said softly, "it's not good for you."

"C'mon Rae," Mercedes hoping that the use of the name she had heard the broken girls dads call her would soften the barriers a little, "at least have something to drink?"

Quinn stood and offered her hand to Rachel, "Ok up."

Rachel looked at the hand confused, "What?"

"Up," the blonde said a little too cheerfully, "you're coming with us and you're going to have something, I don't care if it's a cup of water but something, and you're going to sit with us."

The star was beyond confusion at this point, sure the girls had been at hers all weekend but not even she was naïve enough to think that it had meant that they were friends who had lunch together.

"I won't bite," Quinn joked.

Rachel took the hand and stood up, her treacherous stomach growling at her in anger that she hadn't fed it.

Mercedes laughed, "Not hungry huh?"

* * *

The three girls stood in the queue, eyeing up what the school classed as food.

"You see anything you like?" Mercedes asked Rachel.

Rachel looked at the food cautiously, nausea began to rear it's ugly head. A large hand covered her much smaller one, effectively pinning her left hand to the metal railing of the tray rail.

"Sup freaks," his voice boomed.

Everything slowed down, her body tensed, the nausea intensified. She wanted to run but she remained rooted to the spot.

"Milf," he drawled, "I know you're a loser now but I didn't realise you'd fallen this far."

"Drop dead Karofsky," the blonde spat back. She hated it when Puck had called her Milf, she hated it even more when anyone else called her it.

He laughed, "Oh I'm so scared," he leant close to the frozen stars face and started biting at the air, "later freaks."

"Jerk," Mercedes muttered to the retreating back of the moronic jock.

"God he makes me so…" her words trailed off as she noticed the frozen starlet, "Rachel?"

She couldn't move, every fibre of her being screamed at her to run but she couldn't, her muscles refused to co-operate.

Quinn replayed the last few minutes in her mind, trying to understand something she knew she had missed, "It's him isn't it?"

"What?" Mercedes looked confused.

"Rachel," Quinn needed her to confirm, "it's him isn't it? It's Karofsky, he did this?"

She began to tremble, the fear overwhelming all of her senses. She couldn't look at anyone, she closed her eyes, willing herself to wake up from this nightmare.

The blonde had her answer, "Sweetie?" as much as she wanted to kill him she knew she had to get through to the small girl somehow.

"Karofsky?" Mercedes needed someone to confirm this for her, when Quinn nodded that was all she needed. Something in her snapped. "Son of a bitch!" she ran after the jock and lunged at his back, tackling his large, bulky frame to the floor.

"Mercedes!" Quinn was shocked, she didn't know what to do, "Mercedes get off him!"

Her legs felt like jelly, but somehow she'd found the will to move.

The cafeteria erupted into chaotic noise, no one understanding what had prompted a loser from Glee to start whaling on one of the jocks. They didn't understand it but they all enjoyed the show, jeering for it all to continue.

The blonde turned to face the dark haired girl to find she was no longer by her side, "Shit," she whispered.

* * *

Puck rounded the corner, the noise coming from the cafeteria had peaked his interest and he was making his way there. What he had found on his way there though wasn't what he was expecting.

"Berry?"

The girl was crumpled in a heap on the floor outside the auditorium.

He knelt down beside her, not wanting to risk her freaking out on him again he kept his hands on his knees to balance himself out, "Rachel, what's wrong?"

The girl was lost, her sobs were heart wrenching, her lips were barely moving as she kept muttering, "I can't get him off," all the while scratching at the hand that only a few minutes ago had been crushed between flesh and metal.

Quinn came racing round the corner, "Thank God," she wasn't sure where else to look if she hadn't found Rachel, "Puck, you need to get away from her."

"What?" he had never heard Quinn so angry, he didn't understand what he had done, "I was just trying to see if she's ok."

"Just get away," she tried to calm her voice, it wasn't his fault, he didn't understand, "can you do something for me?"

Puck stood, "What?"

"Go get Mercedes off of Karofsky and tell her to get her ass here," she instructed, all thoughts lost on the broken girl.

"Huh? Why is Mercedes on Karofsky?"

"Puck please!" she begged.

"Ok," the confusion was clear in his voice, "but you need to explain this later on."

"Just go!" her voice was filled with desperation.

She watched him run off to the cafeteria, praying that the mention of Rachel would be enough to get Mercedes to regain some semblance of self-control and focus on the girl who needed them right now.

"C'mon sweetie," Quinn helped Rachel up, "let's sit in here."

She guided the girl to a chair, forgetting to shut the door, "Rachel?"

Rachel looked up into worried eyes, for the first time in weeks she felt something that wasn't fear and she let it consume her like a raging fire.

She noticed the change in the other girls demeanor, a shift in her behaviour that she hadn't seen in a few months. Even though she could visually see the change it still didn't prepare the blonde for the eruption.

"She had no right to do that!" she stood up, unable to control the anger that she had been keeping bottled up for everything that had happened to her over the last few months, for Mercedes lunging at the one person she just want to ignore. "He's going to kill me. She's ruined everything!"

"Sweet calm down. No one is going to kill you. It's going to be ok, we wouldn't let-" her words were cut short when Rachel rounded on her.

"When are you going to wake up Quinn? Nothing is going to be ok! He's going to find out that I'm pregnant and he'll kill me. He's going to know that I told you and Mercedes and he is going to make me pay! How is any of this ok?" her rant kept going, her anger finally pouring out, gaining momentum with every word that fell from her lips, "Nothing is ok. I am not ok with any of this. I feel like everything keeps on coming at me and I just want to curl up in a ball, go to sleep and never wake up. How can anything be ok when I was raped?" she stopped her tirade, realising that she had finally voice the one word that terrified her and collapsed on the floor.

"Wait, what?"

Quinn looked up from where Rachel lay on the floor, broken and sobbing to see Mercedes and the rest of the Glee club stood just inside the door.

Nine voices all started shouting at once, all demanding to know if this was true, what had happened, was Rachel really pregnant.

"This is why I had to pull Mercedes off of Karofsky?" Puck demanded.

"You should have left her to it," Kurt added.

The questions and threats all began to blend in together, not a single voice was able to cut through the chaos.

"Will you all just SHUT UP!" Quinn shouted, "Do any of you have a clue what the hell this even means?"  
The group hushed in unison, unsure of what the blonde meant.

She crouched on the floor, sitting on her legs as she reached out to the mess of a girl sprawled on the floor, "Sweetie, can you sit up for me?"

"I'm sorry," her words were muffled, her face covered by her hair, "Quinn I'm sorry I didn't mean it. I'm sorry."

"I know," she looked at the group of worried faces, locating the one she was searching for, "Mercedes?"

She sat besides Rachel's head, "Rach I'm sorry," her guilt was overbearing, she hadn't stopped to think about her actions, she just wanted to make him feel a slither of the pain he had inflicted on Rachel, "I didn't think, I…I'm so sorry baby girl."

The blonde got the girl into a sitting position and cradled her in her arms, "You all act so angry and hurt," her words were slow and deliberate as she spoke to the group, hoping that if she spoke slowly she would be able to keep her emotions under control or at least be able to keep her tears at bay, "where were any of us when she needed us? Not a single one of you tried to get the truth from her. Rachel's right, no one here is her friend. No one cared enough to ask her why she was so different. None of you saw her this weekend the way me and Mercedes did. So cut the crap."

"We tried to ask," Tina stuttered.

"She told all of us she was ok," Finn couldn't figure out why she would say she was ok when she wasn't.

"She told us all a like," Mercedes spoke up, "and none of us questioned it. She was scared and we were all too wrapped up in ourselves to do anything for her."

"I'll kill him," Puck ground out.

"She doesn't need that right now," Quinn's words were quiet, "I don't know what she needs before you even ask but she doesn't need to be worrying about anything else."

Artie asked the question everyone wanted to ask but was afraid to, "Is she really pregnant?"

"Yes," the blondes voice was filled with sorrow, "she is."

"Is it…" Mike's words trailed off.

Quinn just nodded.

"What are we going to do about…" Mercedes looked at the girl clinging to the blonde, her sobs were quieter now but her body still trembled.

"I don't know," she honest didn't know what to do, "I think maybe we should take her home?"

"Please," her voice was so quiet that they barely heard her, "don't."

"Sweetie, you can't expect us to let you go to class like this?"

"I can't go home," she started to sit up, she needed to look Quinn in the eye so she would understand, "Daddy…he's working from home today…"

"Ok," the blonde nodded, she knew now was not the time to try and convince Rachel to tell her dads what had happened, "we can stay in here for now ok?"

"Thank you," her eyes were regaining focus, she was too scared to turn and face the group stood behind her, "they all know, don't they?" she was like a lost, frightened child.

"Yes," she could see the shame and tears building, "they all know but that doesn't change the way they think of you."

No one had noticed that two members of the group were missing, that they had taken it upon themselves to do something regardless of what the ex-Cheerio had said.

"Please," she tried to keep her voice under control, she didn't want to see the looks in their eyes or hear their empty apologies, "go away."

"Rachel…" Finn wanted to stay and protect her.

"You heard her," Mercedes voice was stern, "she wants us to go."

Rachell grabbed onto Quinn and Mercedes, silently pleading that they stay.

"Wait where's Puck and Santana?"

**Attention:** Please, please, please review this chapter I'd REALLY appreciate it! Thank you so much for all the reviews so far, they've been really helpful.

Question time...

1) What do you think Puck and Santana are up to?

2) Should the girls be left undisturbed in the auditorium or should Mr. Schue or a teacher of some sort come in and turf them out or at least demand an explanation as to why they aren't all in class?

3) Would you like to see Rachel having to deal with Karofsky again?

Right well there are today's questions, I look forward to hearing what everyone thinks.

Enjoy!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **Right well I wanted to get this up before I pass out. Hopefully you'll like what I've done. Time for you all to find out what Puck and Santana are up to.

**Warning:** Hinted violence, mention of rape, language.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

"Where are you going?" he ran after her.

"Where do you think I'm going?" she refused to slow her pace, she was a force to be reckoned with normally, but now, now she was more intimidating than an approaching tsunami.

"Santana, wait," he finally caught up to her.

"Don't try and stop me Puck," she was determined, she was more than that, she was a woman on a mission.

"I'm not trying to, I'm not that stupid," he fell into step with the fearsome Latina, "I want to help."

They stormed down the hallways; both knowing the Karofsky had made a swift exit from the cafeteria once Puck had managed to pry Mercedes off of him.

"I don't understand you," Puck said honestly.

"What's there to understand?"

"You hate Berry," it wasn't a question.

"I hate everyone," she didn't mince her words.

"So why are you trying to find him?"

"She's part of the team," she said simply, hoping that would be enough.

"I don't buy it."

"Look," she stopped, "no matter how much I may or may not hate Man Hands, I wouldn't wish this on anyone and if there's one thing I truly loathe it's guys that think they can get away with something like this."

He knew that was the closest she would ever admit to caring about anyone, and found himself having to run to catch up to her again.

As they rounded the corner they spotted him making his way to the locker room, probably to try and convince Coach Tanaka that one of the Glee kids had gone psycho on his ass for no reason.

"Karofsky!"

* * *

"Baby girl I really am sorry," she couldn't stop apologising.

Rachel looked at her sadly, her anger had died out, "It's ok," a large part of her meant it, a part of her felt good that Mercedes had cared enough to take such a drastic action.

Quinn's mind was racing, trying to process all the information that had been dumped into her brain since Friday, trying not to worry about what stupid things the father of her child might be doing, worrying about the things that Rachel must be feeling knowing that the rest of the Glee kids now knew why she had changed.

"I don't know if I can do this anymore," Rachel let out weakly.

"What Rach?" the blonde asked.

"Glee," her voice was timid.

"You love Glee," Mercedes said as though it was that simple.

"I used to," she hung her head, "I just don't know if I can sit in a room with eleven people feeling sorry for me…"

"Sweetie," she knew the small girl was right, people were going to feel sorry for her, "you can't let what other people think stop you from doing what you love," she bit her lip nervously before adding, "you never used to."

"I never used to do a lot of things," Rachel pointed out sadly, "I'm not that person anymore Quinn, you and I both know this."

"You are though," Quinn refused to let her give in, "you said so yourself."

Rachel and Mercedes both looked the blonde confused.

"You're just lost," she added regretfully, remembering the conversation she'd had at the starlet's house.

"We'll help you find that girl who was always on at everyone to better themselves," Mercedes chimed in.

"Why aren't you girls in class?"

The three girls jumped at the intrusion.

"Jesus, Mr. Schue you scared us," Mercedes said.

"Sorry," Mr. Schue looked at the three he was still trying to get used to seeing together, "now are you going to tell me what's going on?"

* * *

"What the hell are you all doing?" the voice boomed.

Santana refused to let up; she was too focused on ensuring that he could never repeat the heinous act he had committed against Rachel.

"S," she pulled the Cheerio off of the jock, "I demand an explanation!"

The seething Latina stared angrily at Coach Sylvester, "Let go of me."

"I beg your pardon!" she was furious, never, ever did any of her girls talk back at her like that.

"I said let go," Santana snarled.

Puck had straddled Karofsky and was repeatedly ramming his knuckles into his face.

She threw Santana away, "Stay!" she spoke to her as though she was instructing a dog and proceeded to pull Puck off of Karofsky, "Enough!"

Puck stood by Santana, the pair of them staring at Karofsky as though he were lower than dog shit.

Karofsky stood and spat blood on the floor, "You'll regret this Puckerman," he threatened.

"Not as much as you're going to regret what you did to Rachel," Puck growled back, clenching and unclenching his bruising knuckles.

"Enough," if there was anything Sue Sylvester hated, she hated repeating herself, "all of you come with me," she ordered.

* * *

"Is someone going to explain to me what's going on?" Mr. Schuester asked.

The three girls remained silent.

"I can't just let you guys stay here without a good reason," he reasoned.

"We can't Mr. Schue," Mercedes offered.

"Why not?" he was concerned.

"It's not our place to tell you," Quinn tried to prompt him into asking the right questions.

"Rachel?" he looked at the silent girl, knowing now that he needed to know what was going on if he had any hope of helping her.

"I can't…"

"I can't help you, if you won't tell me what's going on," the love for his students carried in his voice, something was seriously wrong and he knew it.

The girl was torn, part of her knew that she needed help, the other part of her couldn't cope with the shame that went along with having people know.

"Sweetie," Quinn laced her fingers with Rachel's and gave them a reassuring squeeze, "you can do this."

* * *

Puck, Santana and Karofsky sat opposite Principal Figgins, none of them listening to Coach Sylvester's rant about violence in the school and how Glee had essentially tarnished one of her Cheerios. They were too busy glaring at each other.

"Principal Figgins," Mr. Schuester stuck his head in the door, "can I have a word with you, in private?"

"You three stay here," he looked at Sue, "do not let them leave."

Outside his office he stood staring at Mr. Schuester, "What is it William?"

"I know why Puck and Santana attacked him," he was trying to restrain himself from doing the same thing.

"Well…"

"You need to call the police," Mr. Schue said simply.

* * *

**Attention: **So...what do you all think? I almost had it so that Rachel ended up in Figgins office with Karofsky but it seemed like so many of you thought the poor girl had suffered enough for one day.

Ok the question for you guys this time is...

Rachel's dads are going to be called in to school (obviously) BUT what happens...

a) Rachel tells her dads what's happened?

or

b) Mr. Schue gets the pleasant task of explaining to them what their daughter has been through?

Oh also...

How much has Rachel told Mr. Schue...

a) Everything, the rape and the resulting pregnancy

or

b) Just the rape?

Right well there you go, I hope that my tired brain hasn't messed this chapter up.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **WOW! Before I let you know what this chapter is, can I just say you are all amazing! The response I've been getting to this is amazing and it just makes me want to keep on writing! So please, keep on reviewing, the more you review, the more I seem to write LOL

Ok so this time I managed a much longer update for you all. I'm currently in the process of starting the next chapter but there's a few kinks that need working out for me to make some serious progress with it. Ok people have been requesting to see more interacting between other characters so tada! Also time for the Berry's to discover just exactly what's wrong with their daughter. I hope you all enjoy this update!

**Warning:** Hinted violence, mention of rape, language.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

Every parent has at least one heartbreaking moment when it comes to their children, one moment that truly changes everything between them. Finding out that their son would never walk again. Realising that their trophy perfect daughter was in fact human and capable of making mistakes. Discovering that your only son is gay. There are many moments and though some may not seem that significant to others, they are life altering to those involved, mother, daughter, father, son. Each of these were painful in their own ways, from undeserved guilt and blame to the hidden hurt that there may never be grandchildren in the offing.

"Where is she?" Hiram's voice was full of panic. Not once in seventeen years had they been called to their daughters school in such urgency.

"What's happened to her? Is she ok?" Leroy's words rushed one after the other.

"I can take you to her," Mr. Schuester began, "but I have to tell you something…"

* * *

"He's going to tell my dads, isn't he?" her voice was tiny.

"He has to tell them," Mercedes said.

Rachel's head fell on to the blonde's shoulder, this day just seemed to be getting longer and longer, and every time she thought it was coming to an end something else happened.

"He doesn't want to sweetie," Quinn squeezed the hand within her own, "he's just…legally bound to."

Mercedes and Quinn sat there helplessly, watching as the small girls world unravelled around her.

* * *

Leroy and Hiram sat shell shocked, trying to process the information that their daughters' Spanish teacher had just given them.

"I know this is a lot to take in," Mr. Schuester tried to offer them comfort, even though he knew nothing could ease this pain, "and that it's a lot to deal with but I promise you, I will do everything I can while Rachel is here."

"I can't believe we didn't realise," Hiram was distraught to say the least, "how could we not have known?"

"Nobody knew," Mr. Schuester consoled, "Rachel…she managed to keep this from everyone."

* * *

"I can't do this," tears were falling freely down the starlets cheeks, "this is a bad idea."

"You need to tell them," Mercedes words were soft.

"How can I?" she could feel the burn in her lungs as the panic consumed her, "How can I break their hearts?"

"Sweetie," Quinn ran her thumb along Rachel's knuckles, realising that she should probably feel a little uncomfortable that their fingers were still intertwined, "they love you, all they're going to care about is you and how they can help you."

"How can I tell them that I'm pregnant because of…" she wasn't brave enough to voice it again, she hadn't even meant to say it earlier when the rest of the Glee kids were listening.

"I don't think that's going to be a problem baby girl," Mercedes muttered, her eyes never leaving the three men that stood in the room.

Mr. Schuester could feel the pain burning inside him; he wanted nothing more than to march into Figgins office and to personally kill Karofsky. He may be an educator but when it came to Glee, the members were his kids, he loved them as a father and that part of him was currently raging in an internal battle with the educator part of himself as to why he couldn't just march into Figgins office and commit murder.

"Rae?" Hiram's voice was soft, tender, broken as he spoke his daughters name, silently asking if what they had just heard was true.

Hiram and Leroy approached their door hesitantly, words failing them. How could they comfort their precious baby girl when they had failed her?

Rachel couldn't bring herself to look at her fathers, she didn't want to see the pain she had caused them.

Quinn didn't know what to do, she wanted to wrap her arms around the crying girl and protect her from the things she would have to face but part of her knew the girl needed her dads, that they were the ones that would be able to make an impact on her and get her the help she was going to need.

Leroy sat beside his daughter and placed a hand delicately on her back, not knowing how he could ease her pain, knowing that there were no words of comfort for this situation that even in his nightmares he'd never imagined they would face.

Rachel reluctantly disentangled her fingers from the blonde's who she had oddly come to find comfort in over the last few days and flung herself against Leroy's strong frame, "Daddy I'm sorry!"

"Shhh, it's not your fault baby," he wrapped his arms around his daughter, "it's not your fault."

"I'm so sorry," she needed her dads to understand, she needed them to know she hadn't meant for any of this to happen, "I couldn't get him off, Daddy I couldn't…" she broke down, the days events finally catching up with her delicate body.

Mr. Schuester looked on helpless as the Berry's tried to offer their daughter comfort, try to convince her that none of this was her fault. He felt guilty that he hadn't made sure Rachel had gone to see Miss Pilsbury on Monday, that he hadn't tried to get her to talk to him sooner.

Hiram sat with his husband and daughter, desperately trying to make sense of what was happening. Why had any of this happened to his baby girl? He was furious and heart broken all at once and it was too much.

Quinn and Mercedes sat there lifeless, knowing that now Rachel would get help that she needed but also knowing that know the cat was out of the bag things were only going to get so much worse before they even started to get better.

"Let's get home baby," Hiram hushed.

He didn't want to open his mouth, he felt awful for what he knew he had to say, "She can't…" he wished she could, "the police will probably want to speak to her…"

Her world started to spin, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't see, she couldn't hear over the rushing of blood in her ears. Her skin was crawling; as much as she willed herself to she couldn't find comfort in the loving arms of the two men around her. There were too many men. Their bodies pressed against hers trying to protect just reminded her of everything she wanted erased from her memory.

* * *

When the police arrived Principle Figgins, ordered Coach Sylvester to watch the three pupils that were still sat in his office. She sat glaring at the jock she had often excused from her scrutiny because of his status within the school sporting circle.

"You two," her words were oddly calm as she addressed Puck and Santana, "my office."

They looked at her gone out; they wanted nothing more than to continue their brutal assault on Karofsky.

"Now," she snarled.

They fought against their urge to launch another attack on the monster that had attacked their team member and did as they were told, sneering at him as they marched out of the office, past Figgins and the police and made their way to Coach Sylvester's office.

She waited a moment, calculating the time she had before Figgins came in with the police, she decided to take the risk. Her voice was a low growl, more intimidating that any other tone she used in the vicinity of McKinley high, "I don't know why I dragged one of my Cheerio's off you. What I do know is this, S would not risk losing her place as Captain for no good reason and I know the police are here because of you," she paused, letting the boy think that she had no idea why the police had been called, letting him think that Figgins hadn't filled her in when she stepped out of the office wanting to know Schuester's poor explanation for letting Glee ruin her head Cheerio, "and what you did. I'm going to give you one chance to tell them exactly what kinda of low life you are."

His cockiness faltered when she leaned in front of him and snarled, "I find out you don't, and I will make your life Hell. I will annihilate you."

As she pulled back, the door opened and Figgins re-entered with the police, "Sue, if you wouldn't mind?"

"Of course," she began to leave.

"Sue," Figgins called, "could you deal with the other two for me?"

"Absolutely," she smiled.

* * *

Rachel sat unmoving; her heart shattering with the realisation that she couldn't seek comfort in her parents.

"How long do you think they'll be?" Mercedes voiced.

"I don't know," Mr. Schue answered, his eyes never leaving the stoic form of Rachel.

Quinn moved so that she was back beside the fallen star, "Hey…"

Rachel looked at the blonde with empty eyes, "I…" she didn't know what to say, or even how to explain the thoughts ripping through her head like a tornado.

"You should've said something," Quinn finally expressed her guilt, "I never would have forced you to go to the cafeteria if you'd told me."

"Yes," Rachel let out an empty laugh, "You would have."

"You're probably right," Quinn smiled ruefully, "I would've made you show me who it was so I could kill him myself."

"I'm sorry," her voice was small and tired, "for what I said earlier, I didn't mean it."

"Yes," Quinn looked into tired eyes, "you did."

Rachel found herself unable to tear her eyes away from the soft hazel ones full of concern, "Ok I did, but I didn't mean to take it on you."

"I know," Quinn stood and opened her arms, given the small girl the option to accept the hug if she wanted it, "it doesn't matter, I'm glad that you could finally say it."

Rachel allowed entrusted herself in the golden haired mothers arms, "It's not going to get better," her words were soft, "is it?"

"Not right away," she couldn't lie, she knew that Rachel needed honesty, "but it will."

* * *

"You two," Coach Sylvester stormed into her office to find Puck and Santana pacing like caged animals, "sit!"

Their assault of emotions and physical attack on Karofsky left them too tired to argue, they sat down angrily, quietly fuming at their inability to be left to continue to inflict large quantities of pain upon the douche bag until his body could take no more.

"Figgins," she began as she sat in her chair, "has left me in charge of finding a suitable punishment for you two."

Their bodies stiffened, prepared for the barrage of violent insults that would undoubtedly spit out from Sue Sylvester's lips until she finally got round to telling them that they were expelled.

"You're suspended for the rest of the week," she said simply.

"Wait," Puck was confused, he was sure he was about to be expelled, "what?"

"Is that it?" Santana asked bewildered, her hardened exterior faltering momentarily, showing the relief that she felt at not having to explain to her parents why she'd been kicked off of the Cheerio's and out of school.

"What I'm about to say to you never and I mean never leaves this room, you understand me?" her voice had taken on its usual venom.

Puck and Santana nodded once in understanding.

She glanced at the door, ensuring that she had shut it when she had come in, "If it were up to me you wouldn't be getting anything," her voice softened, "but I can't just let you off the hook or it'd be my neck Figgins would be after for the chopping block and I can't have that." She leant back in her chair, staring at the two obviously worn down teenagers, "I'm only going to say this once and if you ever repeat it I will hunt you down and gut you like fish," her features softened, a small smile gracing her lips, "You did good today."

* * *

**Attention:** So what do you all think? I'm kinda worried about this chapter, with so many different voices to try and maintain things could've easily got messed up - so please, please, please I'm begging you - review!

Ok, so there's quite a few questions I've got going round in my head right now, so bare with me while I try to figure them all out.

1) Do you think Coach Sylvester's threats would be enough to get Karofsky to confess to what he did? Part of me thinks it is after seeing how Azimo and Karofsky responded when challenged by the Glee club, after all more often than not bullies are just cowards but at the same time we're past the point of simple bullying now.

2) Do you think Rachel's dads would maybe try and convince her to get rid of the baby, by which I mean have an abortion?

3) Should I try to bring Mercedes more into the friendship or would you like to see the continuation of Rachel and Quinn's friendship growing stronger to the point that Quinn becomes the person Rachel feels she can truly trust?

4) Should I bring Shelby into this?

5) I've completely forgotten what I was going to ask so ignore me! LOL

Just a quick sidenote, there will be NO Jesse in this story at all! I mean he might get a brief mention in historical context but other than that he won't be having a cameo role in this, I seriously can't stand him - he really gets on my nerves! LOL

Right well that aside I hope you all enjoyed this and I look forward to hearing what you all thinking and the answers I should (hopefully) get from this chapter.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **Ok so I've been getting some intense responses and I just wanna say thank you all so much. I managed to make this chapter go on for as long as I could without it getting too long. Hopefully you'll like what I've done :)

Also just to clear up any confusion, re: the finale. Quinn had Beth, kept Beth, is in contact with her mother (that will be explained later on) and is still living with Mercedes. Rachel and Finn aren't together, have yet to decide if they did get together. Puck and Quinn aren't together but I've already explained that in the story. New Directions did lose at regionals, but the whole thing with Rachel and Shelby didn't happen (just to make my life easier if I do end up bringing her into this).

**Warning:** Hinted violence, mention of rape, language.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

By the time Friday had dragged around, they were beyond the point of worry. Neither girl had seen or heard from the once annoying diva since her dads had taken her to speak to the police. At this point concern didn't even come close to what they were feeling for the girl, they close to out right panic.

The blonde was close to erupting at the next person to ask her if Rachel was ok, she was fed up of everyone thinking she knew exactly what was going on when she was just as clueless as they were. More to the point she was furious that anyone would think Rachel would be ok after everything that had happened.

When the final bell rang they practically ran to the car, certain the Mr. Schue would forgive them for skipping out on Glee, they didn't really care what the rest of the team thought. They were too focused on the missing member.

The drive was almost silent, each girl worrying about how they would find their friend. Quinn was out of the car before Mercedes had a chance to shut off the engine. By the time Mercedes had caught up to the blonde the front door was already open.

"Oh girls," Hiram sounded relieved, "come in."

"Hey Mr. B," Mercedes greeted, "how's she doing?"

He shook his head sadly, "She's in her room, Leroy's trying to get her to eat something."

"Can we go up?" Quinn asked, "I'd really like to see her."

Hiram nodded, "I think she needs you two right now."

Quinn started up the stairs, Mercedes close behind her. They stood outside Rachel's room, watching quietly as Leroy tried to coax his daughter into eating.

"Please Rae," Leroy knelt by the bed, "baby you need to eat something."

Rachel just lay there on her side, unmoving; she didn't even try to tell her father she wasn't hungry.

Quinn knocked lightly on the wooden doorframe, "Hi."

"Hi girls," Leroy looked at them sadly, "look who's here Rae."

The two girls entered the room nervously.

"Hey baby girl," Mercedes stood so that she could see Rachel's face.

"Can I…" Quinn indicated to the bed, Leroy nodded, she lay behind Rachel, "Hey sweetie."

Rachel didn't say anything, she just reached behind her and pulled Quinn's arm around her and began to cry.

Leroy looked on helplessly, wishing he could offer his daughter the comfort she needed.

Mercedes sat on the edge of the bed, unsure of whether she should say anything or just leave the poor girl to cry.

Rachel tried to rein her tears in, "Can you guys stay again this weekend?" her voice filled with desperation as she pleaded for them to say yes.

Quinn felt torn, "Puck's working this weekend," she pulled herself closer to the small girl, letting her know how badly she wanted to be there for her, "Beth…" she looked to Mercedes hoping she'd have the answer.

"Mom's on the late tonight," she added sadly.

"Bring her here," Leroy spoke up, "Hiram and I can watch her."

Quinn was almost reluctant, they were under so much stress with everything that was going on with Rachel she didn't feel that she could give them the added stress of having to watch her daughter as well.

"We'd more than happy to," Leroy seemed to sense Quinn's apprehension, "Rae really needs her friends right now and by the looks of it she needs you girls more than she needs me or her dad at the moment."

Quinn could hear the pain in his voice, he just wanted to do the best for his baby girl, she couldn't imagine what she would feel like if she ever encountered anything like this with Beth, "Only if you're sure?"

Leroy nodded, "I'll go let Hiram know, so we can get the guest room made up. Do you have a travel cot or something for Beth?"

"Yeah, we can pick it up on the way back from getting Beth," Mercedes said.

Rachel tightened her grip on Quinn's arm, wishing that she wouldn't have to leave at all.

"I'll be back," the blonde promised, "I can go now and pick her up early from the sitter."

Her voice was timid and unsure, "You will come back, won't you?"

"I promise," Quinn looked at Mercedes, hoping that she would be ok with playing taxi.

"Baby girl, do you want anything while we're out?" Mercedes questioned, "Is there anything you'd like, something to eat, a DVD?"

Rachel sniffled, "No, I just want you guys."

Mercedes reached over and gave Rachel's free hand a gentle squeeze, "I'm gonna go call mom before she leaves for work, let her know we won't be home."

"You sure you don't want anything sweetie?" Quinn asked tentatively.

"I'm fine," she muttered.

"Are you going to be ok…with Beth here?" Quinn voiced her concern.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I just didn't know if having a baby around would be the best thing right now…"

"I could do with a Beth cuddle," Rachel responded weakly, turning to offer the blonde a smile of encouragement.

"Ok," Quinn sat up, pulled her phone from her pocket and hurriedly sent a text to her sitter to let her know she was on her way, "we'll be as quick as we can ok?"

Rachel nodded, pulling the covers over herself in an attempt to make up for the lack of the blonde's body heat.

When Quinn made it down the stairs she found Mercedes talking with both Hiram and Leroy, "How are you holding up?"

"We'll be fine," Hiram's voice was tired, "it's Rachel we're worried about."

"She won't eat," Leroy stated, "I don't think she's slept either."

"Has she eaten anything since Sunday?" Quinn asked, afraid of the answer.

"I honestly don't know," Leroy answered.

"We thought she was getting better," Hiram offered, "she seemed like she was doing better on Sunday when you girls were here, you got her to eat, she was socialising…we didn't realise how bad things were until we got called in to school."

"I'm sorry," Mercedes offered.

"Oh sweetheart," Leroy gave her a hug, "don't be sorry. You've done nothing to be sorry for."

"We're just glad you girls are here for her," Hiram joined.

Quinn looked at the worried parents, "Are you sure it's ok to bring Be-"

Hiram cut her off, "Don't even finish that sentence! It's fine, now go on and get your little girl, ours needs you two right now."

Mercedes and Quinn said their goodbyes and left to pick up the blonde's daughter and everything they would need for the weekend.

"We are doing the right thing," Hiram turned to Leroy, "letting the girls stay for the weekend?"

"You didn't see Rachel with them babe," Leroy looked up at the stairs, "she needs them, she actually spoke to them. She asked them to stay with her."

"Do you think they'll be able to help?"

"They can't hurt."

* * *

Quinn and Mercedes pulled up outside the Berry residence forty-five minutes later.

"You ready for this mama?"

"Are you?" the blonde questioned.

"No, I have no idea what to do for her," she voiced truthfully.

"Neither do I," the blonde ran her fingers through her hair, "but she wants us here so I guess that we're doing something right."

"Yeah," Mercedes started to grab the bag of clothes and went about retrieving the travel cot from the trunk.

Quinn began to unfasten the travel chair, "She's sleeping," she whispered.

"Do you think she'll stay asleep?"

She glanced at her watch as she shouldered the diaper bag, "Maybe for an hour or two," she watched her sleeping daughter, "she didn't sleep very well last night so hopefully she'll make up for it now."

"You're telling me," Mercedes waited for Quinn to remove the sleeping child before shutting the trunk and locking the car up, "for a tiny girl she's definitely got a set of pipes on her."

They made their way up the path to the door to find that Leroy was already waiting for them, "We heard you pull up," he took the travel cot from Mercedes, "are you girls going to be ok sharing the guest room?"

"In all honesty Mr. B," Mercedes set the bag down by the stairs, "I don't think we'll need it."

Leroy looked at her confused.

Quinn carefully placed the travel seat on the floor and whispered, "I think we'll be staying in Rachel's room again, she said…she felt better having us there."

"That's fine," Leroy was relieved that he had convinced Hiram that their daughter needed the queen sized bed, "should I set the cot up in there then?"

"Don't worry about it Mr. B," Mercedes smiled weakly at the worried father, "we'll sort it."

"I need to see what Rachel wants us to do about tonight first before we set up the cot," Quinn added.

"Ok," Leroy glanced down at the sleeping girl, "would you like me to take her through?"

The blonde tried to quiet her worries about leaving her baby with people she barely knew, "Ok, if she wakes up will you come get me?"

"Of course," Leroy smiled, he remembered that unwillingness to leave his infant daughter with anyone.

She knelt down and gently brushed her lips against Beth's forehead before leaving her in the hands of the Berry's.

Mercedes could sense Quinn's apprehension, "C'mon mama, let's go see Rach," she guided the blonde toward the stairs.

"If you girls need anything," Leroy started.

"Thanks Mr. B."

They entered Rachel's room to discover that she hadn't moved since they had left her, she was still lying on her side, lost eyes staring into nothing.

Mercedes sat on the bed the same way she had done before they had left, "Hey," her voice was soft.

Quinn found herself resuming her place beside the small girl, waiting to see what the frightened star wanted her to do, "Hey Rach," her words were soft and warm, "I told you we'd be back."

The small girl began to relax, feeling safe for the first time since she left the two girls on Wednesday, "Thank you," she reached once again for the blonde's arm and laced their fingers together.

They remained silent, unsure whether they should try to make small talk or whether they should let the Glee clubs star just relax in their presence.

"I'm glad you guys are here," her voice revealed her tiredness, "I was going to text you after Glee."

"Yeah we didn't go," Quinn responded.

"Why not?"

"Didn't want to sing without you," Mercedes said, "besides they were already three people down, I don't think they're going to miss us too much."

"Why three?" she was confused, she could understand that they'd be one person down without her there but she couldn't figure out why there would be an additional two members absent from practice before Mercedes and Quinn had decided to skip out.

"Puck and Santana aren't there," Quinn could feel the confusion spilling off the body pressed against hers, "they're suspended until the end of the week."

"What happened?" she was pretty certain she knew the answer already.

"They laid into him pretty good," Mercedes voice was full of pride at what her friends had done, "Coach Sylvester found them and pulled them off."

"Oh," Rachel couldn't quite fathom it, she knew Puck cared, after they had dated for that brief period they had actually built some sort of friendship between them but Santana hated her, she couldn't understand why the fearsome Latina would so eagerly jump to her defence.

"Santana might act like she hates everyone," Quinn knew no one would ever truly understand the Latina, "but she's not as hard as she lets everyone think she is."

"I would've loved to have been there," Mercedes says quietly.

"I'm so confused," Rachel says, "if Puck and Santana are suspended then why aren't you?"

"Guess he didn't want to admit to have his butt kicked by two girls," Mercedes shrugged, "he's just a coward."

Rachel lay still for a moment, trying to process the idea of Karofsky being a coward, she couldn't, all she could see was the monster who had changed her life. Her body began to tremble as the images began to swim in front of her eyes, his words echoing in her ears.

"Rachel?" the blonde could feel something was wrong before the small body pressed into hers started to tremble.

She shook off the images and focused on the soft voice calling to her, she gripped tighter on the delicate hand around her stomach, "He's always going to win, isn't he?"

"He's not baby girl," the soulful singer wanted to take it all away, to erase all this pain the fragile girl was being inflicted with.

"No sweetie, he's not going to win," the blonde gave the small girls hand a gentle squeeze, "not anymore. You've started to fight back."

"It doesn't feel like it," she was forcing her eyes to stay open, she didn't want to see his face anymore.

"You have though, he's not going to be able to hurt you ever again," Mercedes promised, "you told on him, that takes away so much of his power."

"Your dads are worried about you," Quinn's words were hushed, "they said you hadn't been sleeping again."

"I couldn't," she fought back a yawn, "I just…"

"Shhh," the blonde's thumb traced lazy circles on Rachel's stomach.

"Why don't you try and sleep baby girl?" Mercedes carefully laid herself in front of the tired girl, "We'll make sure nothing happens to you."

* * *

**Attention:** Ok so there seem to be a lot of mixed opinions as to the things I asked last time, so for now I'm leaving two of the questions up to see what other responses I get before I make my final decisions.

1) Was Sue Sylvester's threat enough to make Karofsky confess?

2) Should I bring Shelby into this? (For those who answer yes, please, please throw in any suggestions you have as to how I should go about doing this)

Ok that's it for now! I hope you like what's happening and if you're lucky there'll be another update in a few hours.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **Ok so I know this is incredibly short in comparison to the other chapters, but I felt that perhaps it'd be a nice change to see how the other characters were doing, so for some reason I ended up writing about Hiram and Mercedes, I'm not quite sure I like it so I apologise if it's no good.

**Warning:** Hinted violence, mention of rape, language.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

Hiram looked up to see Mercedes standing awkwardly in the lounge doorway, "I didn't expect we'd be seeing you any time soon," he said warmly, gesturing for her to come sit down.

Mercedes smiled and took a seat on the couch, "Well I'm full of surprises that way," she joked.

"How's it going up there?"

"They're both asleep," Mercedes looked over at the travel seat, "Beth kept her mom up most of the night."

"I remember that feeling," Hiram's voice was wistful, "you wouldn't believe how much Rachel screamed the house down as a baby."

"I can believe it," Mercedes laughed, "she's never really been a quiet one."

"Yeah," Hiram fought back the tears that threatened to spill.

"She'll be ok you know," the soulful singer offered, "she's too strong to give up."

"I know," Hiram sniffed, "I just don't know what I can do for her. I just want to wrap my arms around her and tell her that it's all going to be ok but she's so closed off."

"She's scared, she freaked out last week cos one of the guys held onto her wrist…she practically jumped out of her skin when Mr. Schue nudged her," her voice was sad, she wished she'd picked up on everything sooner.

"Do many people know at school? What's happened I mean."

"Everyone in Glee knows," she thought back to Rachel's saddened outburst that the team had unwittingly walked in on, "it's my fault they know."

"I'm sure it's not," Hiram placed a hand on Mercedes knee.

"It is, when we found out who it was that hurt Rachel…I just flipped," she felt like she had to explain to him that she hadn't meant to cause his daughter any more pain, "I just wanted him to hurt the way she is…Quinn sent Puck to get me off of him, Rachel needed us…they weren't supposed to know, they followed me to the auditorium and Rachel…she just let it all out, she didn't even realise any of us where there, she just thought it was her and Quinn."

"That doesn't make it your fault," he could sense the girls guilt, "it wasn't your fault they followed you, they made that decision."

Mercedes looked at him ruefully, wishing she could believe his words.

"Do you want to know something?" he asked her.

"Sure."

"I'm glad that you flipped," Hiram smiled sadly at her, "I wish I could do the same."

Mercedes wiped away the tears that she hadn't even realised she was crying, "If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure I may have broken his nose."

Hiram laughed, "Good girl."

"Puck and Santana laid in to him pretty good as well from what I've heard," Mercedes faltered, "people are asking questions, at school. They don't know what's happened, but there are rumours, no one's figured out that Rachel's linked to this yet but I don't think it'll take them long to find out somehow…I'm sure he'll fill the rest of the jocks in with some bullshit."

"I know," he couldn't fight the tears anymore, "I don't know how I'm supposed to protect her from any of this."

"Me and Quinn will, at school, and whenever she needs us. We're going to make sure she's looked after, I promise."

"Thank you, I don't think we can help at the moment," Hiram finally admitted, "not until she learns to trust men again at least."

"We'll be around as long as she wants us to be," Mercedes promised, "where's your husband?"

"Leroy, he went out to get some food shopping in, we've got three teenage girls to feed this weekend and no food in the house," he laughed weakly, "can you imagine the carnage?"

"Hey so long as there's coffee in the morning I'm all good," she smiled, slowly regaining her composure to be there for the Berry's.

"Right so best to avoid you until you've had coffee in the morning then?" Hiram laughed, find some sense of comfort in the normality their conversation was turning towards.

"Definitely, I am not human until I've my coffee."

"You sound like Leroy," he smiled.

She heard the familiar grunt of Beth stirring, "Hey Betty boo," she cooed unfastening the straps holding the infant securely, "c'mere baby girl." She sat on the couch cradling the little girl she loved so much, praying that she didn't need to wake the girls mother.

"She's a gorgeous little girl," Hiram beamed.

"She really is," she gently rocked Beth in her arms, "aren't you?" The infant grunted softly, slowly drifting back off to sleep, "Atta girl," Mercedes whispered, "your mama needs her rest."

* * *

**Attention:** Can't think of any questions right now so I'm just going to say thank you so much for reading. I've only just recently started writing fan-fiction so I realise that my stories are incredibly flawed.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **Right I thought I'd make up for the short chapter with this longish one :) Time for Rachel to meet Beth *key dramatic music* lol hopefully you'll like what I've done with this.

**Warning:** Hinted violence, mention of rape, language.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

Rachel jerked awake, hearting racing, her sudden movement startling Quinn and rousing her from her sleep.

"You're ok Rach," she soothed, "it was a nightmare, you're safe. I got you."

Rachel sat up, her head groggy, "How long have I been asleep?"

Quinn rolled onto her back and carefully stretched out her spine, "I'm not sure, what time is it?"

She glanced at her bedside clock, "Almost seven thirty."

"Damn it," the blonde cursed herself, "I should've fed Beth almost an hour ago." She sat up and looked at the dark haired girl beside her, "Will you come down with me and at least try and eat something?"

She hesitated, "I don't know if I can, every time I even think about food I feel sick."

"It'll pass," she placed a hand on Rachel's knee, "more often than not you'll just feel sick, we could try something plain like toast?"

"Ok," she nodded, thankful that she would be able to have someone understand the things she was experiencing to an extent.

They made their way downstairs, their clothes severely wrinkled to match their extreme case of bed head hair. They followed the sound of voices that were coming from the lounge.

"Hey," Mercedes smiled, "I didn't think you'd be getting up any time soon."

"I woke up…" Rachel let the sentence trail off, hoping that she wouldn't have to explain any further.

Leroy sat in the armchair, Beth in his arms, "Look Beth, mommy's awake."

"Why didn't anyone wake me?" Quinn asked, "She should've been fed an hour ago."

Leroy stood and handed the infant to her mother, "Mercedes said this little angel kept you awake most of last night, we thought you could do with your rest."

"And," Mercedes interjected, hoping to escape the blonde's wrath, "she's already been fed, I took care of it. Puck's right, she really isn't fussing about the formula anymore."

"How are you feeling baby?" Hiram asked tentatively.

"Hungry," she answered honestly.

Hiram and Leroy exchanged a look of relief that didn't go unnoticed by the three girls, least of all their daughter.

"Quinn suggested, maybe trying plain toast," she said sheepishly, "to start with."

"Ok sweetheart," Hiram stood and walked towards the door, "you sit down, I'll make you some toast."

"Thank you."

Leroy stood to follow his husband, "I'm not sure about you girls but I could do with a coffee, anyone else want one?"

Mercedes smiled, "Please."

"No thank you," Quinn responded politely.

"Would you like something else? Tea? Juice?"

"Juice would be nice."

"What about you Rae?"

"Just water please Daddy," she said as she sat down in the other armchair.

"Ok," he resisted the urge to place a kiss on his daughters forehead, worried that it would be too much for her to handle at the moment, "I'll be back in a minute."

Quinn sat on the couch next to Mercedes, carefully rearranging Beth so that she was resting in one arm, "Mommy didn't hear you cry, were you a good girl for Mercedes?"

"She didn't cry, I thought she would," Mercedes looked lovingly at the tiny child, "but she was really good. She seems to really like Leroy, poor Hiram hasn't had a chance to have a cuddle yet."

"You like Leroy," she beamed at her daughter, "I hope I'm still your favourite person," she laughed softly. Her eyes were filled with love and wonder, it never ceased to amaze her that this tiny being could ease away the days troubles just by being in her arms.

Rachel was toying with the idea of asking the blonde whether or not she could hold Beth, when her fathers returned with her toast and the drinks.

"Here you go Rae," Hiram placed a tray on the coffee table in front of her.

She felt the nausea before the toast was even in front of her, her face gave her away.

"Just try sweetie," Quinn pleaded, "please?"

She was highly aware of the four expectant faces, waiting to see if she would finally eat something, "Will you all stop staring at me? It's not exactly making the toast seem any more appetising, nor is it conductive in easing the nausea."

Hiram turned to Quinn, deciding to try and focus attentions elsewhere, "So Quinn, now that Leroy has finished hogging this gorgeous little girl would it be ok if I could get a hug from her?"

"Sure," Quinn stood and delicately placed Beth in his arms.

"She looks like you," he smiled.

"Yeah, I get that a lot."

Rachel took a small bite from her toast, testing the waters. She waited a few moments to see if her body was going to reject the food, instead she found that she was consumed with a ravenous hunger and quickly devoured the piece, followed by the second.

"Jeez baby girl," Mercedes laughed, "anyone would've thought you were hungry."

Quinn looked over to where the starlet was sat, "How you feeling now sweetie?"

"I think," her cheeks flushed rose, "I still feel hungry."

"That's good," Quinn laughed, "do you still feel sick?"

"A little," she answered truthfully.

"Maybe it's best to stick to toast for now."

"Would you like some more Rae?" Leroy asked.

"Please," her stomach growled.

He let out a warm chuckle, "Ok baby, I'll go do you some more."

"Thank you," she called to the disappearing figure of her daddy.

"So where are we setting the cot up?" Hiram asked.

"Oh," Quinn felt slightly awkward, "I didn't get a chance to talk to Rachel about that yet, I was kinda of asleep."

"Talk to me about what?"

"We weren't sure if you wanted us to sleep in the guest room or not…" the blonde's words trailed off.

"Would you mind staying with me again?" she asked quietly.

"Of course not," Quinn sat next to Rachel on the arm of the chair, "I just wasn't sure if you'd be ok with having Beth in the room…you're not sleeping great as it is…"

"I'll be fine, I promise," her voice dropped, "I seem to sleep better with you there."

Leroy returned with another plate of toast, "Here Rae," he looked around the room, "so…what'd I just miss?"

"Nothing," Hiram smiled at his husband, "the girls finally decided where the cot's going."

"Oh good," Leroy smiled, "so where do you want me to set it up?"

"It's ok," Quinn started.

"AH! Stop right there," Leroy held up a hand to silence the young mother, "I insist you let me set it up."

"But-"

"No buts!"

"Set it up in Rae's room babe," Hiram laughed at the blonde's perturbed look, "don't look at me like that Quinn, I'm not listening to him moan all night about how he wasn't allowed to help out."

Leroy left the room, cheekily sticking his tongue out at the blonde who replied in kind.

"Oh my God, I'm going to have this all weekend aren't I?" Hiram laughed, "You'll keep me sane won't you Beth?"

"What am I? Chopped liver!" Mercedes feigned hurt.

"Of course not, but I'm not messing with you in the morning," Hiram joked.

Rachel watched the banter unfold, glad that the people she loved and trusted were acting remotely normal around her now that there was balance of more women to men in the household. She knew that her fathers would never hurt her, they doted upon her, but she just couldn't get past that they were men. She found herself wishing that Mercedes and Quinn could be there all the time to alleviate the tension that had filled her home since her dads had found out what was wrong with her.

A loud thud sounded from the stairway, causing Beth to cry.

Hiram stood and passed the crying infant to Quinn, "I'd better go check he's not destroying the place, I'd hate for him to break something."

"Shhh," Quinn walked back and forth, gently bouncing Beth as she did so, "hush baby girl."

"Do you think they're ok?" Mercedes asked after hearing another thud.

"Yeah," Rachel smiled, "they're usually like this. They'll never admit to it but neither of them are particularly graceful."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, Dad says he should check on Daddy but chances are he's the one that's dropped something or sent something flying," she let out a small laugh.

Quinn smiled to herself, she could hear the love in Rachel's voice, it would take a while but she knew that their relationship would one day return to the closeness that they had always shared. She made hushed nonsense noises, soothing her daughter until her cries became soft whimpers.

Rachel watched fascinated, truth be told if someone had asked her if she thought Quinn Fabray would be a good mom back when the ex-Cheerio was still head bitch she would have admitted to having her doubts, but now, now she could see exactly how much the fair skinned girl had changed and grown.

Once the little girl had settled Rachel finally found the courage to ask, "Can I hold her?"

"You sure sweetie?"

"Yeah, I'd like to if it's ok with you?"

Quinn carefully placed Beth in Rachel's arms.

"Hello little one," she found herself drawn into the tiny little being that had been entrusted in her arms. A small smile graced her lips. Her smile grew when Beth yawned. She leant her head down and carefully placed a kiss on the baby's cheek.

Quinn felt a wave of relief wash over her, she had been so worried that her daughters presence would upset Rachel in her current state of mind. Her heart swelled, proud that it was her daughter who had caused the first genuine in weeks on the stars face.

The surge of emotions the little girl caused made her think about the life growing inside of her.

"Rach, why you crying baby girl?"

"I just…" she struggled to find the words to explain what was going through her head, "I look at Beth and she's perfect and…I can't…I don't want to live the rest of my life knowing that I killed an innocent child…"

"Wait, killed? Baby girl you've lost me."

"On Thursday, I had to go for an exam…for the police…" she steadied her breathing, not wanting to disturb the now sleeping babe in her arms, "I didn't think I could feel so humiliated…"

Quinn could see her struggling to keep it together, "Why don't I put her in her chair?"

Rachel nodded and let Quinn carefully remove Beth from her and place the sleeping child delicately in her travel chair.

The blonde resumed her place next to Rachel, understanding that for some unexplainable reason the girl felt more at ease when she was close by.

"They did an internal…and took pictures of the scars…it was like he was doing it all over again…" she wiped away the silent tears with the back of her hand, "I heard the doctor talking to my dads…he said there was some scarring…and something else…he gave them some paperwork on a-abortion…I know they're going to talk to me about it…but I can't do it…I won't let him make me do that…"

"No one's going to make you do anything you don't want to," Quinn placed a hand on Rachel's shoulder.

"I can talk to your dads baby girl, tell them that this is bothering you." Mercedes felt oddly close to the Berry's, "They wouldn't want to make you feel upset Rae, they're just trying to figure out how to do what's best for you."

"I know," she sniffled, "you'd really talk to them?"

"If that's what you wanted me to do of course I will," Mercedes tone was gentle.

"Please…I just don't think I can tell them stuff like that at the moment…"

"Sure baby girl."

Footsteps sounded on the stairs alerting the girls to Leroy's presence before he'd even stuck his head round the door, "Hey girls, I'm gonna get some dinner going, you want some?"

"Please," Mercedes smiled.

Quinn nodded eagerly.

"How about you Rae, you think you're up to anything else? I can do you some plain pasta if you'd like?"

"I'll try," she offered, she knew she should eat something more than the couple of slices of toast she'd had. She would never tell the four people that were so concerned about her that she really hadn't eaten anything since Sunday.

"Great, why don't you guys start setting up the table?"

Rachel nodded, "Ok," she was oddly pleased that she was being allowed to continue with the mundane task of setting the dinner table.

* * *

**Attention:** Ok so for the time being Shelby won't be making an appearance, I've not quite worked out what her role would be so I'm gonna have to think long and hard but for the time being I'm gonna say she's not in this - so sorry to everyone that wanted her to make an appearance.

Todays question...

Will Rachel go back to school on Monday or try to convince Mercedes and Quinn to stay home with her?

Sorry can't think of a better question right now LOL

I look forward to hearing what everyone thinks.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **Another update for you all. A lot of people have been requesting Faberry, I'm toying with the idea so you'll be seeing a lot more Quinn/Rachel moments, I just hope they turn out ok.

**Warning:** Hinted violence, mention of rape, language.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

When she woke on Saturday morning she was surprised she had actually slept the whole night through. She glanced at her bedside clock and noted that it was six o'clock; she'd be starting her morning regime if things were still relatively normal. She scanned her bedroom, taking in the strange additions that she may have to get used to seeing. The pale yellow travel cot only a few feet from the bed, the changing mat that lay on the floor beside it, the nappy bag resting against the wall. Her eyes settled on the white chair, where Quinn sat peacefully with Beth resting against her chest.

"Morning," her words were hushed, worried about waking the sleeping girl beside her.

"Hey," the blonde smiled, "did you sleep ok?"

"Surprisingly," she answered truthfully, "yes. I can't remember the last time I slept all night since…" she shook off the dark thoughts that were seeping into her mind, "I feel oddly awake."

"Yeah that generally happens when you've actually slept," Quinn smiled sadly.

"What about you? Did you get to sleep all night?"

"Almost," she looked down at the slumbering child, "she woke up around three but she only needed a change, I think I was back in bed by half past."

"Is that a good night?" she genuinely wanted to know; she had never imagined what it must be like to have a baby, it wasn't something she had put in her list of variables of her meticulously planned rise to inevitable stardom.

"Yeah, she's been getting better." She let out a slow yawn, "Usually I only have to get up a couple of times but the other night she just wouldn't settle," she let out a quiet chuckle, "at least she's better for me than she is for Puck, he says it's hard to get her down. Oh crap!"

"What?"

"I turned my phone off yesterday on the way back from picking Beth up," Rachel looked at her confused, "me and Puck, we always call each other in the mornings. He's probably going nuts."

"He really loves her," she looked around the room, hoping to locate the phone, "where is your cell?"

"It's ok, I'll get in a minute," she began to sit herself up straight in the chair.

"Quinn," Rachel hardened her voice, "I know everyone thinks I'm a total basket case right now and they're probably right, but I can still do something simple like hand you your phone."

The blonde's cheeks reddened, "It's in my jeans," she mentally kicked herself; she hadn't meant to treat the starlet like she was an invalid.

Rachel climbed out of bed and retrieved the phone, "Here," she stood in front of Quinn hand outstretched, "see…I'm ok, I didn't break."

"Thanks," she took the phone from the delicate hand in front of her, her fingers grazing the tanned skin, "I'm sorry sweetie, I didn't mean to treat you like you weren't capable."

"But you're not sorry for thinking I'm a basket case?" she toyed with the blonde.

"Hey," she smiled playfully, "for the record I'll have you know I've always thought you were a nut job."

Rachel laughed, "Gee thanks."

"You're welcome," Quinn beamed, turning on her phone at the same time. It buzzed to life and began to vibrate violently as message after message came barrelling through the airways.

"Wow, you weren't kidding when you said he was probably going nuts huh?"

Hey eyes scanned through the list of text messages, reading the names as she scrolled up looking for message from Puck, "They're not all from Puck."

"They're not?" she tried to keep her confusion from her voice, she knew Quinn was popular but she hadn't realised that she was still as popular as when she was head of the Cheerio's, "Well aren't you in high demand."

She found a panicked text from Puck and hurriedly sent him a reply letting him know that both her and Beth were ok and that they were spending the weekend at Rachel's. "I'm not in high demand," for a brief moment she contemplated not telling Rachel what the numerous messages were, but decided that she needed to know that people cared for her more than she realised, "you are."

"Ok either I slept too much or I've not slept enough because I don't think my brain is capable of even beginning to try and comprehend what you're on about," she rambled.

"The messages, people are asking after you," her hazel eyes met with dark chocolate, "they're worried about you." She saw the small girl frown, "They do care Rach, no one knew what to do, me and Mercedes we're just as bad as the rest of them…"

"How? You were the one who stuck around to find out what was wrong even after I was rude to you," her words were cut short.

"You weren't rude to me."

"Yes I was, I practically shoved you out the door last Friday," she glanced over at Mercedes, "you and Mercedes were there for me when I was beyond stupid, you fixed me up…Mercedes launched herself at him for what he did, you're the ones who are here now. You showed me what friends are," she finally ran out of steam and looked imploringly at Quinn, willing her to understand why she just couldn't believe that people genuinely cared about her. She was so used to being Rachel 'I'm a star' Berry and being alone even when she was surrounded by people she just couldn't understand why people were showing concern for her wellbeing.

"They want to see you," she offered, "they're just not sure whether you want to see them."

"They do?" she couldn't restrain the hope that sounded.

"Of course they do, Rachel they do care about you, we all do." She sighed, "But you were right, even in Glee, we're still divided into sections, we aren't friends…but I'd like to fix that if you'll let me?"

She nodded feebly, fighting the urge to cry at the gesture, "I hate that I feel like crying constantly," she attempted to laugh.

Quinn offered her a warm smile, she sympathised with the poor girl and not out of pity for what she had been through, but with understanding of the things she would have to deal with over the coming months, "I cried at the stupidest things…there was an advert for cat food showing cats locked outside in the rain watching this other cat eat this food and I was practically bawling my eyes out."

"Oh God," a watery smile began to creep across her face, "being pregnant really does make you crazy doesn't it?"

"Not all the time, there are some perks to being pregnant."

"Like?"

"You can eat whatever the hell you want and not feel bad about how weird it is to want to eat something like sardines dipped in ice cream," she laughed.

"That's disgusting! I will most certainly not be consuming any such vile combinations."

The blonde couldn't help but laugh. Her phone vibrated again and she read the text, "Puck wants to know if he can come see you when he finishes work?"

The light-hearted feelings vanished and she could feel the fear set in, "I'm not sure I can…" she hated that she could no longer trust the men in her life, it increased her guilt over what had happened. "I can't even look my dads in the eye."

"Ok, we'll stick to girls for now yeah?"

"Ok," she nodded, "wait a minute, what exactly do you mean by that?"

"Santana text last night," Quinn looked at Rachel as innocently as she could, "she said she's going to drop by at some point today."

"What? Why?" her heart beat furiously in her chest, as much as she had always acted as though nothing fazed her (well back when she was still herself) Santana had terrified the hell out of her. Now she was truly petrified, it didn't matter that Santana had beat seven shades of shit out of Karofsky or stamped on his nuts several times, all she could focus on was the Latina's hate for her.

"She's worried about you," she noticed the tanned girl visibly quivering, "she doesn't hate you."

"Yes she does."

"Sweetie she really doesn't, didn't you hear what I said about S yesterday?"

"Quinn ever since we started high school she's been nothing but horrid to me," she felt like a small child again, "she hates me! I've lost count of the number of slushies she's sent in my direction."

She felt a pang of guilt; just over a year ago she was the one instructing others to fling the sticky ice in the other girls face, "That used to be me doing that."

"You changed," she stated as if the matter was as simple as black and white.

"So has she, why don't you give her a chance? She might surprise you."

She couldn't stop the words from falling off her tongue or hide the pain in her voice, she couldn't prevent herself from confessing her fears, "The last time someone surprised me I ended up pregnant."

* * *

**Attention:** Poor Rachel, I just can't seem to give her a break huh? LOL How you all like the story so far? I hope it's not too shabby, I'm really enjoying writing it. However this is the part where people may not like me...this will most like be the last update you'll get from me until Monday at the earliest - sorry guys, got some friends coming to visit that I haven't seen in a long time so I'm gonna be too busy to get any writing done.

Ok so today's questions...

1) How do you think Santana is going to behave towards Rachel?

2) I'm going to work at finding a male in Glee that Rachel finds trust in and will be the catalyst in her beginning to trust men again but I can't quite decide who, I'm slightly toying with the idea of Puck but I just wondered what everyone else thought to the idea?

I may (if you're lucky) be able to get another chapter out later on, but it all depends on the what feedback I get (go on you know you want to review). Oh and in case you're wondering, you'll probably find out very soon what's happening with the douche bag that is Karofsky.

In case I don't get another chapter up before next week, I hope you all have a great weekend!


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **Ok so I managed another update LOL It's short for a reason, I think if I'd try to make it longer I would've totally ruined Santana's character, more so than I probably have already. I did my best but she's surprisingly difficult to write.

**Warning:** Hinted violence, mention of rape, language.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

After lunch Mercedes and Quinn had successfully persuaded Rachel that it was too nice to stay inside all day and managed to convince the girl to get dressed so they could all sit in the garden and enjoy the sun and fresh air.

Quinn sat bouncing her daughter gently on her knee, Mercedes relaxed in the reclining sun lounger and Rachel sat quietly with her knees drawn close to her chest. There was no need for them to say anything; they had discussed so much over the last week that they were all enjoying the silence shared between them.

Hiram appeared at the back door, "Rach, there's someone here to see you."

She was drawn from her thoughts, knowing exactly who it was that had come to visit her.

Santana stepped out into the garden, carefully eying up the three young women that seemed so comfortable in each other's presence. Her eyes glanced towards the girl she had come to see, "Berry."

"Santana," Rachel wasn't entirely sure what to say to the Latina.

"Good to see you can form words," she glanced towards Quinn acknowledging her presence with a quirk of a well-shaped eyebrow.

She felt like bundle of raw nerves, she couldn't help but feel on edge around the cheerleader, "Can I do something for you?" she tried to be cordial towards the girl who intimidated her so much.

"I wanted to check up on you," her hard exterior faltered for a the briefest of moments, "make sure you hadn't driven Q to murder."

"S…" the blonde warned.

"Fine," she snapped at the blonde, "I came to check you on how you were doing."

"I heard about what you did…" Rachel said quietly.

"Yeah, don't make a big deal of it."

"I don't understand, why you did it, you hate me."

"I hate everybody, what's your point?"

"Then why did you go after him?"

The Latina sighed, crossing her arms across her chest, "I just did."

Mercedes could sense the Latina's apprehension to be honest, "Why don't I take Beth to get some more sun screen on?"

Quinn nodded, mouthing a silent thank you as she handed her daughter over.

She waited until she was sure Mercedes was out of ear shot, hating herself for causing Rachel more pain after everything she was dealing with. "Look I'm a bitch, I know this, you know this." She let a small scowl cross her lips, "I swear to whatever God you worship I will toss you in a dumpster full of slushie if you ever tell anyone this."

"Ok," Rachel fought back the urge to gulp.

"I did what I did, because we're a team," she let her arms fall to her sides, "and that means something. Team is like family, no matter how much you hate each other or how much they annoy the hell out of you, you still care about them." The Latina let her words hang in the air a moment, "Besides the douche deserved it and a hell of a lot more."

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Surely you didn't think I'd risk expulsion for no reason," she said starkly.

"No," Rachel felt a smile tug at the corner of her mouth.

"You do realise I'm still gonna be a bitch," Santana's voice was almost apologetic.

"In a way I'm kind of glad for that, it's strangely comforting that you'll treat me the same way as usual."

"Pretty much, I might hold off the slushies for a bit until you really annoy me," she offered, "but I'll still be a bitch to you."

Quinn stared at Santana expectantly, she knew the girl would never be nice to anyone and truly tell them what she felt or thought.

"Don't worry about school though Berry," she let a smirk play across her lips, "I may be a bitch, but I got your back, we're a team right."

"Yeah," Rachel was at a loss for words, she never once thought she would have Santana Lopez in her corner.

"I'm gonna get going before anyone see's me with you losers."

Rachel laughed, glad that she had let Quinn convince her to give Santana a chance.

"Berry one more thing," she stopped at the back door, "lose the jeans and sweatshirts. It was much more fun to ridicule you when you dressed like a pre-schooler."

"Bye San," Quinn called to the Latina's back.

"Later Q."

"See, I told you she didn't hate you," her smile sounded in her voice.

"Does she always talk in code?" Rachel asked slightly amused.

"You caught that? Wow, I'm impressed. Took me a while to figure that one out, she only really does it when it comes to feelings."

"That last bit about the clothes, that was her way of saying feel better right?" she asked nervously.

"Yeah, it was," Quinn stood, "let's go see what on earth Mercedes is doing with my baby girl."

* * *

**Attention:** Right on to question time...

Would you like to see any other characters drop by for a surprise visit on Rachel before school on Monday? (still not decided if she's gonna go to school or not but obviously the others will).

Ok before I asked about a male that Rachel could learn to trust, so far there have been a lot of people saying Kurt but I'm a little reluctant to do that. It seems a bit cliched, trusting the gay guy. And I've got that in her fathers, well I will have once she's dealt with it and opens up to them. But I was kinda hoping for a straight guy, as I don't wanna end up with Rachel only trusting gay guys - not that there's anything wrong with that, it just doesn't seem like a well rounded approach if that makes sense?

Anyways it's late, I'm tired and rambling.

Have a great weekend guys, I look forward to hearing what you think.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **I warned you that you probably wouldn't get an update until today LOL I hope everyone had a great weekend. Time to find out what the Berry's think about the idea of Rachel getting an abortion and also what's Rachel going to do about school.

**Warning:** Hinted violence, mention of rape, language.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

Quinn and Mercedes sat downstairs in the lounge with the Berry's, Rachel was upstairs in the shower, Beth was in Hiram's arms cooing away blissfully unaware of the tension in the room.

"That's all she seems to do," Leroy said sadly, "it's like she can't get clean."

"She can't," Quinn's voice was filled with sorrow, "when I found her last week…she said she couldn't get him off…"

"I just wish we knew what to do…how to make it better for her." Hiram sighed.

"We need to talk to her about some…things, but she won't even look at us let alone speak to us," Leroy's voice broke, he wanted nothing more than to kiss away his daughter's pains.

"Actually Mr. B, there's something I need to talk to you about…" Mercedes spoke, "it's about Rachel and what happened on Thursday…"

"She told you about the examination?" the tall man was quite shocked, his daughter had said absolutely nothing when they were at the exam or on the way home, or since then.

Mercedes nodded, "She overheard the doctor talking to you and…she knows you're going to talk to her about having an abortion…"

Leroy pinched the bridge of his nose, he hadn't realised Rachel had heard the discussion.

"Did she say anything to you about it?" Hiram asked.

"She said she won't do it," her voice was filled with pain, she had desperately hoped that the star would, "she's really against it."

"I see…" Hiram was lost for words; he hadn't expected his daughter to see the pregnancy through.

"Maybe we should still try talking to her?" Leroy suggested, "Let her know that the option is there for her, that it's ok if that's the route she wants to take, that no one will judge her for it."

"She won't budge Mr. B," she let out a rueful laugh, "you know better than we do that she's stubborn."

"I don't understand," Hiram whispered.

Quinn watched silently as Mercedes tried to explain that their daughter was going to see the pregnancy through regardless of what anyone said to her.

"I don't understand it either," Mercedes' words were slow, "I don't understand any of this. She doesn't deserve any of this," tears were slowly beginning to make a bid for freedom.

"I know," Leroy sat next to Mercedes and gave the girl a hug, "she doesn't…she's always been such a good girl, my little star." He let the tears quietly fall, "I can't believe anyone would do this to her."

Hiram struggled to remain in control of his emotions, "It's not about that babe you know that. She's still a good girl and she'll always be our little star."

The blonde could feel her heartache for the pain the family was going through, "She's still Rachel, that's why she won't go through with it." The Berry's turned to look at her, she felt her heart thump furiously in her ears from their intense gazes, "Rachel said she wouldn't let him make her do that. She won't let him make her kill an innocent child…that's what she told us…She's still Rachel, she's trying to fight back and be the girl that's strong in her beliefs…she's just finding her way again…"

"That's my girl," Leroy sniffled, "always trying to do the right thing."

The foursome sat in silence, each dealing with their own pain that they felt for Rachel, each facing the guilt that in some way they had let the girl down, for not being their to protect her, for not realising sooner what she was going through.

"We still need to talk to her," Hiram broke the silence, "we need to discuss school."

"I can get compassionate leave this week," Leroy wiped at his eyes, "at least she won't be at home alone then."

"We can come visit after school," Mercedes suggested.

No one had realised that water had stopped flowing through the pipes, or that the sixth step on the stairway had creaked. None of them knew that she had been stood just outside the door.

"I want to go to school tomorrow," Rachel voiced quietly.

They all jumped, startled that the small girl was now stood in the doorway.

"Are you sure that's a good idea Rae?" Leroy asked.

"No one expects you to go straight back baby," Hiram added, "it's ok to take some time off."

"I know," she looked at the small girl sat in her dads arms, "I just don't want to stay home…if I go to school I'll have something else to focus on…"

Hiram and Leroy exchanged a silent look of worry, each of them clueless as to how to convince their daughter it was probably best that she stayed home so she could catch up on her rest, just for a few days.

Quinn and Mercedes noticed the looks the Berry's wore.

"We'll make sure she's ok," Mercedes promised.

"We really will look out for you sweetie," the blonde offered a Rachel a smile, "you're kind of stuck with us now."

Rachel returned the smile, it wasn't quite as believable as she hoped it would be but no one expected it to be either. "See, I'll be ok…Quinn and Mercedes say so." She nodded as if it was as simple as that. She could see that her fathers weren't quite convinced, "Dad…Daddy, if I stay home…I won't be able to go back…I want to try…I want things to go back to being…normal…"

"Ok baby," Leroy looked at his daughter and wished she could look at him, even if it was a quick glance, "if that's what you want?"

"It is," she whispered. She wasn't quite convinced it was the best idea herself, but she knew she couldn't stay at home all day alone with her fathers. They would never hurt her, she knew that, she knew they would move heaven and earth for her but the thought of being alone with two men regardless of who they were was so frightening it made her stomach tighten and twist in ways she never thought it was capable of. At least by going to school she would have women around her, granted the male population was still there but if it got too much she always had the option of hiding in the girls bathroom.

"Are you sure you'll be ok to go to school Rae?" Hiram tried to hide his reluctance to let his baby girl go back to school so soon.

"I'll be fine Dad," she lied, "besides I've got Quinn and Mercedes there with me, we have a lot of the same classes together."

"We'll take good care of her," Quinn promised.

"Did you want us to swing by in the morning to pick you up?" Mercedes asked.

Rachel's face flooded with panic, "Are you not staying tonight?"

"We have to drop Beth off at the sitters in the morning sweetie," Quinn could see the worries filling the chocolate eyes, "I don't mind staying tonight it's just we leave early for school so that we can drop Beth off…"

"Ok…" she tried not to let the fear that was seeping in to every fibre of her being show.

"I can look after Beth for you," Leroy piped up, "I'm going to take tomorrow off, I wouldn't mind looking after her. Save you the having to spend money on a sitter and having to leave early."

"That's very kind of you Leroy," the blonde smiled sweetly, genuinely touched by the offer, "but my mom pays for the sitter, it's her way of helping out."

"I understand," he nodded.

"You could come with us to drop Beth off if you'd like?" Mercedes knew how to solve problems; "We'd be able to stay tonight and in the morning we could drop Betty Boo off before school."

"I'd like that," Rachel smiled, relieved that she stood a chance of sleeping before returning to God only knows what at school.

* * *

**Attention:** Tada! Sooo...

What does everything think if gonna happen at school? (Wow that sentence couldn't be worse if I tried, sorry! Very tired!)


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **Puck and Santana's actions have consequences for Rachel, also how will Glee practice function when their leader doesn't?

**Warning:**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

Mercedes pulled into the school parking lot and looked in her review mirror, studying Rachel's face and wondering if the girl really was ready to face school again so soon. "You ready baby girl?"

She took a deep breath, "Yeah, I'm ready," she really wasn't.

The three girls got out of the car and made their way towards the school entrance, Rachel in the middle with Quinn and Mercedes flanking either side. The small diva kept her focus on the floor, willing her feet to carry her to her locker, Mercedes kept giving her nervous glances and Quinn stared down anyone the dared to look across at Rachel with enquiring eyes.

As they wondered the halls she found herself regretting the decision to leave the safety of her room, at least there she could hide from accusing eyes and not listen to conspiring whisperings.

"You ok Rae?"

"I'm fine," she lied, "I just want to get to class."

Mercedes nodded, even she wanted to get out of the corridors and the whispers weren't about her.

The girls made their way towards the classroom that Mercedes and Rachel had their first class in.

"You can do this," the blonde gently brushed her hand along the Glee stars unharmed arm in encouragement, "I'll see you in math."

"Ok," she mumbled and then darted inside the classroom.

"I better go in before anyone else," Mercedes nodded towards the door, "I'll see you at lunch?"

"Yeah," she took a step away from the room, "Mercedes…keep an eye on her…she's not ok…"

"I know, don't worry Quinn I'll take good care of her."

Quinn watched as Mercedes vanished inside the classroom and made her own way to class, worrying about the whispers and what the day would bring.

* * *

Rachel sighed in relief as the bell rang out signalling the end of class, she'd never really been a fan of geography and could never really focus on it but now she found it impossible to even pretend to hear what the teacher was saying. She was up and out of the classroom before anyone else, darting through the corridors as fast as she could so she could get to the next class without having to talk to anyone. She didn't even see them coming.

Quinn was beginning to feel anxious as she waiting outside the classroom. The warning bell had rung and there was still no sign of Rachel, surely she'd be here by now. That was when she heard it, the cruel laughter as the pack of hyenas rounded the corner all high-fiving each other.

"Freak's lucky she's a girl."

Her heart began to hammer violently against her ribcage, she instantly knew who the jocks were laughing at. She ran in the direction the pack of morons had come from hoping that she'd find Rachel there, but as she rounded the corridor and made it further up the hallway all she found was the girls bag and empty cups in a pool of melting colours.

* * *

Rachel sat on the cold tiles shivering. Her hair was a tangled, sticky mess; her grey sweatshirt was now an assortment of colours that soaked through to bandage and bare skin, even her jeans were soaked through. She couldn't help but let the tears fall, this wasn't humiliation - that she was used to. No, this was blame, she was being punished.

* * *

Quinn ran to the nearest restroom, it was the only place other than the auditorium that she thought she might find the girl she was looking for and she highly doubted that she would be in the auditorium right now.

"Rach, you in here?"

There was no answer; she didn't need one she could hear the quiet sobs. She looked at where the girl was sat, drenched head to toe in slushies.

"Oh sweetie…"

She looked up at the blonde, "It's my fault…"

"How is this your fault?" she really didn't understand Rachel's logic sometimes.

"I'm being punished," she sniffled, fighting back the tears, Quinn had seen her cry far too much for her liking over the last eleven days, "they know Puck and Santana attacked h-him," she couldn't bring herself to say his name, "because of me…and he's been expelled….and that isbecause of me…"

_I told them not to go after him!_ "This isn't your fault," she knelt down beside the small girl, "do you have any spare clothes?"

"In my locker," the tears were slowing, she was slowly calming down.

Quinn stood and offered her hand, "Ok come on."

"Where are we going?"

"We're going to get your clothes and go to the girls locker room so you can shower."

"I can't."

"Why not? You can't stay in soaking wet clothes all day."

"I don't have any towels, how can I take a shower?" that was the least of her worries, "Miss Sylvester will kill us if she catches us in there."

"Don't you worry about her, I'll deal with her and I know where the towels are kept for the Cheerio's so stop trying to make excuses."

Rachel chewed on the inside of her cheek, she knew she had to be honest with the young mother, "I can't get changed…I don't have any bandages in my locker…and I've not got another sweatshirt…"

"Ok…" _This does present a problem…_ Quinn stood thoughtful for a moment. _I'm an idiot. _"It's ok," she took off her cardigan, thankful that it was Spring and that the temperatures were improving, "you can wear this, I'll see if Mercedes has any bandages in the first aid kit in the trunk ok?"

"Ok…"

* * *

Quinn sat on one of the locker room benches, idly playing with the cross around her neck. The sound of running water colliding against skin filled her ears. She was lost in her thoughts.

"Q…what the hell are you doing in here?" Coach Sylvester demanded, "I know you were stupid enough to get knocked up but I didn't think you were stupid enough to try and continue using Cheerio facilities."

Quinn went to open her mouth, but didn't get a chance to explain herself.

"You know what save it, I'm not interested." Her cold, hard eyes scanned the locker room, coming to a stop at the pile of stained clothes. "What are those doing dirtying Cheerio property?"

The blonde could sense the anger that was beginning to spill off from the Coach, "Rachel Berry got slushied head to toe, her clothes are soaked through and she needed to get cleaned up so I brought her in here so that she could shower," she said defiantly, "she shouldn't be expected to sit the rest of the day in cold, wet clothes and be covered in corn syrup."

Coach Sylvester's face softened, "Very well…" she thought it through for a minute, "has she got everything she needs to get cleaned up?"

Quinn was taken back, flabbergasted that she was not currently on the receiving end of a famous Sue Sylvester tongue-lashing.

"Don't keep me waiting Q," Miss Sylvester threatened half-heartedly. In all honesty she was proud at how her ex-Cheerio had grown as a young woman and thankful that she had taken it upon herself to take care of Rachel – she would never admit that to the girl though.

"She didn't have any towels so I borrowed some from the Cheerio's," Quinn admitted.

"Make sure they reach the laundry," she turned to leave, "and Q? Don't make a habit of this…I don't want everyone thinking they can waltz in here whenever they feel like it, understood?"

"Thank you," Quinn's voice was filled with sincerity.

Sue nodded her head in acknowledgement and left the two girls alone in the locker room.

Ten minutes later Rachel sat beside Quinn, now free of corn syrup free and dressed in fresh clothes, "Thank you."

"What for?"

"Everything," she whispered.

Quinn put an arm around Rachel's shoulders and gave the other girl a gentle squeeze; "You'd have done the same for me."

Rachel attempted a smile, she wasn't even halfway through the day and she was already severely regretting her decision to come into school. She was so drained, "Shall we go to math then?"

"I was thinking maybe we shouldn't."

"You mean skip class?" Rachel's voice was full of shock at the suggestion; she had never cut class before.

"Well we've missed half of it already," Quinn shrugged, "might as well enjoy the peace and quiet while we can."

She sat there quiet for a moment, weighing up the pros and cons of not going to class. "Ok," she said hesitantly, "I think peace and quiet would be good."

Quinn smiled at the nervous girl beside her, "Just remember to breathe ok?" she laughed, "We're not going to get caught, I've already dealt with Miss Sylvester."

"You have?"

"Yep, so for now just relax ok?"

* * *

The rest of the day had been full of whispers aimed in Rachel's direction; everyone had noticed the girls' change of clothes and how Mercedes and Quinn were never far from her. The rumours were growing exponentially and the more they grew the more absurd they became. By the time the bell rang signalling the end of the day Rachel was tempted to call her daddy to come pick her up, but she wasn't quite ready for that yet and even though she no longer wanted to sing she refused to let the other members of Glee down so grudgingly she made her way to the auditorium.

Quinn was at her locker, dumping her books for the day before heading to Glee when Santana came up to her.

"Q, I need to talk to you."

"What is it San?" she asked half-interested, she was too busy being mad at the girl for the attack that had happened on Rachel as a result of her actions against Karofsky.

"I heard what happened to Berry," her voice was laced with guilt, "I never meant for that to happen."

Quinn sighed, her anger ebbing away as she looked at the apologetic eyes of her oldest friend, "I know S. It's not your fault, they're just…" she couldn't even think of a word to describe their idiocy.

"Will you tell Rachel…" the Latina hated apologising.

Quinn knew what her friend was trying to say, "Yeah, of course I will."

"Tell her if it makes her feel any better Puck broke his nose," Santana smiled a little too happily at the thought.

"I will, but not yet."

"Ok," the Latina offered the blonde a warm smile before reverting to her hardened façade and stormed away in search of Brittany.

* * *

Mercedes was glad to find Rachel at her locker, "You ok Rae?"

"Long day," Rachel answered truthfully, "I'll be glad when Glee is over."

"Yeah," she tried to hide the sadness from her voice, she wished she knew how to give the talented singer her passion back, "c'mon let's get going."

* * *

Glee was awkward and unnerving. Everyone wanted to show their star that they were there for her if she needed them but none of them knew how. Even Mr. Schuester was unsure of how to approach Rachel.

"Right guys," he addressed the group, "Principal Figgins has given us an extra couple of weeks to prepare for our assembly performance so we've got a little bit of extra time to work on the new arrangements. So I want you all to work on the group piece today."

They all went through the motions of rehearsing, but no one was really putting the effort in, they were all preoccupied with thoughts of what had happened to their team leader.

Rachel barely managed to appear to be trying; she just didn't have it in her to sing and she was so tired that she couldn't focus on the routine that was being rearranged now that she was no longer doing a solo.

"Ok guys," Mr. Schuester noticed the time, "that's all for today."

Rachel sat in her chair, waiting for the rest of the room to empty.

"How you doing Rachel?" Mr. Schuester asked, this had been the first time he had seen her since her fathers had picked her up the day the truth came out.

"I'm fine," she answered automatically.

Mr. Schue looked at the two girls sat either side of Rachel, hoping that someone could give him a better response.

"It's been a long day Mr. Schue," Quinn offered.

"Why don't you go get some rest?" he said to Rachel, "If you'd like some time off from practice…"

Rachel suppressed a yawn, "Thanks Mr. Schue, I'll think about it."

"Ok," his eyes were full of concern and love, "why don't you go on home?"

"Good idea, c'mon baby girl. I think maybe we should get you back to bed," Mercedes stood and grabbed her bag.

"I'm fine."

"We know," Quinn said mournfully, "let's get you home."

* * *

**Attention:** Thank you so much for all the reviews they really do help.

Ok I know I've asked this before but...

What does everyone think about Rachel and Quinn being more than friends? Is that what you'd like to see? If so any suggestions on how to develop that?

Also...

You will be finding out very soon what happens to Karofsky.

Do you think there should be even more backlash at school cos of the situation with Karofsky or do you think that the jocks will back off when they find out what he did to Rachel?

I look forward to hearing what you all think. Ciao for now!


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **How's Rachel really doing?

**Warning: **Mention of rape and self-harm.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

She lay there staring at the ceiling, she didn't want to close her eyes again, she didn't want to see him anymore. Not that it mattered whether her eyes were open or not, he was always there. Always grinning maliciously at her. She tried to rearrange herself, tried to get into a comfortable position that meant she wasn't lying on her back. It didn't work. If she lay on her front she was painfully aware of the thing that was growing inside her and the pressure of the mattress pressing it into her spine. If she lay on her side her thighs inadvertently remained clamped together, fearing that if they weren't she would feel it all again. She didn't need to feel it all again; the healing wounds on her thighs reminded her regardless with their taunting burn. Her left arm begged to be scratched, the healing skin beneath the bandages irritated by the confinement. There was no option but to lie on her back, arms and legs straight, her body tensed and rigid.

She willed herself to forget, just a moment, no matter how brief. She just wanted it all to be gone. To go back to being the girl everyone hated for being annoyingly talented and brutally honest. She missed the harsh words of normality that had spilled from Cheerio lips, the snide remarks from the jocks about her being a loser before they dumped icy corn syrup over her head. She missed storming out of the room at the absurd ideas that Mr. Schuester would come out with. She even missed battling (if you could even call it that) with Kurt for the solo.

She hated this weird alternative reality she had found herself in. The one where the people that hated her now pitied her, the one where the likes of Santana Lopez and Noah Puckerman stood up for her. Where her rival diva Mercedes Jones and ex-Cheerio and ex-head bitch in charge were now her friends. She hated that something as simple as being slushied could cause her to break down where as before she could just shrug it off. She was now in a world where the Neanderthals held power over her and the school's elite felt sorry for her. She hated that people now knew where her inner-sanctum within school was and could find her without even trying.

She tried to focus on something else, anything but school but landed on the next thing she wished she could leave. Glee. It was bad enough her performance was no longer up to par, but for her presence to affect the rest of the group filled her with guilt and anger. She understood the guilt, she knew no one was up to performance because they were too used to having her lead them, too worried about her to focus on the task at hand. She didn't want the anger, but it was there. She was angry at them for pitying her, for now wanting to be her friends when they were never there for her prior to any of this.

She wanted to take refuge in her fathers loving arms and listen to their kind whispers about how everything would be ok. She couldn't. It wouldn't. Instead she felt terrified to be left alone with them. She had never questioned her fathers love for her or each other, nor had she ever held them responsible for the insults that were hurled her way throughout her life by the bigots in Lima, Ohio. She was always proud to inform people that she "born out of love," and she had always believed that but now she found herself questioning it. Was she really born out of love or were her fathers selfish for bringing a child into the world when the world was still struggling to cope with their love for one another? Were they really the reason he had done what he did to her?

For the first time in her life she truly wished she had a mom, a woman who could comfort her when her fathers couldn't. It hadn't mattered before, she had met her birth mother and it had hurt when Shelby had denied her the chance of forming a mother-daughter bond, or any bond at all for that matter, but she had only wanted a mom then. Now she needed one.

She wanted to curl up into a ball and cry until she could cry no more. She couldn't. Regardless of the pain in her thighs or her arm when she lay on her side, there was no way for her to curl up without having to touch her midsection. She shuddered. She wouldn't let him compromise her beliefs; she truly believed that regardless of the circumstances abortion was murder. Even now she felt that was true, but that didn't mean she was ok with the growing life within her. It made her sick. She was dirty, permanently contaminated by him. For the next six and a bit months of her life she would have to carry him with her without a moments reprieve. Maybe she should compromise her beliefs? It'd make things a damn sight easier that's for sure. Could she do that though? Could she really cope the rest of her life knowing what she had done? She sighed, she wish she could but she knew better. People had accused her on more on one occasion of being over emotional and too sensitive and for once she found herself agreeing with them, if it weren't for her emotional sensitivity she could cope with ridding herself of the thing inside her. No she couldn't go through with it. She let out a frustrated sigh, angry at herself for ending up in this mess.

It didn't matter what her dads, Quinn, Mercedes or anyone else said she knew the truth. It was her fault. She had pushed him too far and now she was paying the price. If she hadn't of talked so much. If she wasn't so brutally honest with her words. If she had learnt a little bit of decorum when it came to verbalisation, maybe then she wouldn't have ended up like this. Maybe then she would have had real friends; she would have friendships that weren't built on pity.

She kept torturing herself with her thoughts. If only she had seen Quinn to the door, if she had made sure the blonde had left. Maybe then she would still be able to pretend for everyone. Maybe then she wouldn't feel the way she did now. Maybe if she had locked the bathroom door Quinn would never have known what she had done to herself. Maybe she would've been able to conceal the filth she had become from the world for that little bit longer.

There were so many things she could have done differently. So many ways she could have prevented what had happened. So many different things she could have done to keep the truth from hurting anyone else.

She could have tried to be happier, tried to keep on singing, tried to spend more than thirty seconds in the same room as her dads. She could have kept wearing her normal clothes, she should have, it would remind her why she wasn't worthy of the attention she was now getting from everyone.

If she hadn't gone to the park to think about the confusing feelings she'd been having. If she'd walked the long paths home instead of taking the short cut behind the houses. If she'd paid more attention to things around her instead of getting lost inside her head, maybe things would be different now.

There were so many things she could have done, should have done but none of that helped her now. The only purpose they served now was to taunt her and remind her of her inadequacy.

She couldn't take it any more; she threw back the covers, climbed out of bed and made her way to the bathroom. She flicked the light switch to find the light burned her eyes. She stood in front of the mirror above the sink and looked at her appearance. Her tan skin looked pale and waxy. Her lips were dry and cracked. Bags that she could use for luggage sat under her dead eyes. Her hair has lost its once enviable shine and hung lankly with split ends. She couldn't even find it in herself to berate herself for looking so bad. She didn't care if anyone caught pictures of her looking like this, not now. Broadway no longer mattered. Nothing really mattered anymore.

She couldn't connect her thoughts; they were just one long inconsistent stream.

She thought about the police officer that had taken her statement, well, more forced it out of her than anything else. She thought about how the woman had told her about rape councillors. She thought about how her fathers wanted her to talk to their therapist. She thought about Mr. Schuester wanting her to talk to Miss Pillsbury. She thought about Mercedes and Quinn wanting her to talk to them. Everyone wanted her to talk! No one seemed to understand that was the last thing she wanted to do. She'd had enough of it all. She didn't want to talk about it. She wanted to scream at them all to shut up, to leave her alone, to stop watching her every move. She just wanted them to stop. She wanted it all to stop.

She wanted to try and purge herself of him from her skin. To try and finish the new cleaning regime that Quinn had interrupted. She knew it was stupid. She knew it wasn't healthy. She just didn't care. All she knew is that Quinn had stopped her and now she could only wonder at whether she would've been successful at removing him if she had been left to continue with her cleansing. She wondered if she had used the bleach if she would've burned him away.

She sneered at her reflection. She couldn't keep her eyes on her own without hearing his words echo in the room. She was a freak. She hated herself for who she was. For everything. She hated everyone and no one. She was furious and heart broken. She wanted to die. She wanted to fight. She wanted to sleep. She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. She wanted to ram her fist repeatedly into brick to see if it would even hurt. She wanted to do something that would break her skin to see if when she would bleed whether she would bleed blood or some thick black substance that carried a stench unknown to the human nose.

Nothing made sense anymore. It was all too confusing. She had never felt so alienated in her own skin.

* * *

**Attention:** Hi there I know it's taken me a few days to update this and I'm sorry. Things have been a bit up in the air. A lot of people have made some brilliant suggestions and I'm seriously taking some into consideration. Please keep reviewing - I really appreciate it and it really helps me out and I kinda need that right now as I'm feeling a little lost with this piece.

I know a lot of people have had some...issues, for lack of a better word, surrounding the way in which I've been dealing with the rape and the consequences but all I can say is I'm doing my best. Everyone has a different view and experience of it, whether it be directly or indirectly. I've been trying really hard with this story as I've been using personal experiences to approach the topic so I really am trying my best.

Erm...let's see questions today...

OK only one question today as I'm kinda not feeling great and my brain has gone on strike...

In general where would you like to see this story headed?

Right guys, hopefully some of you will review - this chapter was really hard to write cos I didn't want it to be consistent which I don't think it is, so that it would reflect the inner turmoil Rachel's experiencing. Anyways I look forward to hearing what people think.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **Will/Emma, Puck/Quinn, Leroy/Hiram, Brittany/Santana - Not all our couples, it's just how the sections kinda worked out. Thought maybe I should see how everyone else was coping LOL I will at some point check on the other Glee clubbers, but this is what popped into my brain for now. Two updates in one night? Well how did that happen?

**Warning: **Mention of rape and self-harm.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

"I don't know what to do," he began pacing the small office floor space that wasn't occupied with the desk or chairs, "I don't know how I can make things easier for her."

She watched him carefully, worried that he had taken things a little too personally, "You can't do anything."

"I keep thinking maybe we should forego the competitions this year."

"You can't do that," her voice was higher than normal, "Figgins will pull the plug, it would mean the end of Glee."

"I know," he ran a hand through his hair, "it wouldn't be fair on the other kids."

"You couldn't have done anything you know?"

"No? These kids are my responsibility, I see them every day. I knew something was wrong and I didn't do anything about it," he couldn't hide his frustration, "I should've done something!"

"Will…" she looked at him with her big doe eyes, "no one knew. She managed to keep it hidden from everyone."

"I know Emma, I just wish I knew how to help her…"

"I don't know, there's no pamphlets for this or at least none that I have," she realigned the pencils in front of her, "I think the best thing we can do for her right now is treat her as normal."

"You're right," he sat in the chair opposite the woman he had been dating since Glee's loss at regionals.

"It's not going to be easy for Rachel, everyone is going to treat her differently whether they realise it or not and she is going to realise it."

"The others don't know what to do. The boys all seem scared to be in the same room as her in case they scare her and the girls are all at a loss of what to do for her," Will pinched the bridge of his nose, "Mercedes and Quinn seem to be the only ones she's ok with right now, which in itself is odd."

"Maybe that's who she needs right now," Emma offered, "something or in this case someone so different from what would be normal for her, maybe she can relax around them?"

"Maybe. I'm just at a loss, I offered her leave from Glee for a bit," he admitted.

"I see and why did you do that?" she was genuinely surprised at the revelation.

"She doesn't sing anymore."

"Can you honestly blame her for that with everything she's going through right now?"

"No, I don't blame her at all. It just feels like she doesn't know how to anymore," he balled his fists at his side, "it's like he took her voice from her."

"In a way he has," Emma said mournfully.

* * *

"Maybe we should talk to her about it?" Leroy voiced nervously.

"You heard what the girls said babe," Hiram sat on the edge of their bed, "do you really think it's a good idea right now?"

Leroy pulled his shirt over his head, exposing his tense muscles straining under his skin, "I don't know. I just feel so useless. Can she cope with it?"

"I don't know," he mumbled as he began taking off his shoes, "can anyone cope under circumstances like these?"

"I just want to make things better."

"Me too Leroy, but it's not that simple."

"Well it should be that simple," his voice began to incline in volume, "we should be able to make things better! I should be allowed to kill the bastard so he can't hurt her anymore."

"Keep your voice down!" Hiram rushed to shut the bedroom door, "Do you think it's going to help Rachel if she hears you?"

Leroy changed out of his trousers into his pyjama bottoms, "What am I supposed to do? Keep quiet and hope it'll all go away?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"I don't get it," he sat on the edge of the bed, "how can you be so calm?"

"I'm not," he said simply.

"Yeah well you could've fooled me," Leroy snapped unintentionally.

The smaller man stood in anger, "This is just as hard for me as it is for you. She's my baby too! Do you think I'm not furious this has happened? Do you think I don't feel like a failure for not protecting her?"

Silence permeated the air, tension filled the room. The two men knew they were taking everything out on each other when neither was to blame. They knew where the blame truly lay but they couldn't put it there without losing their daughter completely. So instead they used each other as verbal punching bags.

"I'm sorry," Leroy stood and wrapped his arms around his husband, "I know this is hard for you too. I just wish you'd talk to me about it."

Hiram melted into the strong embrace that he had known for many years, "I'm just trying so hard to keep it together for Rae."

"I know," he placed a kiss atop of Hiram's head.

His voice cracked, "I just don't understand Leroy, why Rachel? Why our baby girl? She's never done anything wrong. Why would someone do this to her?"

"I don't know," he looked at the ceiling trying to restrain his tears, but they came anyway.

* * *

"How's your hand?"

"It's fine," he flexed his fingers, proving his point. The skin around his knuckles was healing.

"You're an idiot."

"What?" he was confused, he was used to her going from hot to cold in 0.5 seconds when she was pregnant but she didn't have that excuse anymore. "Why am I an idiot?"

"Did you not even listen to me when I said not to go after him Puck? Did you even stop to think?"

"I wasn't going to," he had briefly considered listening to the mother of his child when she said not to go after Karofsky, "but I noticed Santana had stormed out and I was going to try to stop but once I caught up with her I just…lost it."

"What if he decides to file assault charges?" she was genuinely fearful, Karofsky may be a complete moron but even morons had parents that could advise them.

"He won't, he's too chicken shit."

"He wasn't too chicken shit that day with Rachel," she snapped, "Jesus Noah!" He knew he was in for it, she never called him by his name, "What good would it do for our daughter if you ended up in prison because you assaulted someone? Can you even imagine how that would've made Rachel feel?"

"Ok you're right I'm an idiot," he yelled back at her, "but I'm not sorry for what I did."

"I'm not either," Quinn said honestly.

"How is she?"

"I have no idea, she's so lost." She ran a hand through her long golden hair, "She's hurting so much and there's nothing nobody can do to make this better."

"Any word on Karofsky?" he balled his fists as he spat the name out.

"I don't know, she's not said anything and I'm not going to ask her. Her dads mentioned something about him possibly being posted bail but I only heard half the conversation."

"Damn it!" he rammed his fist into the door, embedding his already damaged knuckles in wood.

Beth began to scream, her mother bent over the cot and scooped her into her arms.

"It's ok baby," she glared at Puck, "are you happy now? Do you feel better now that you've scared the hell out of Beth AND broken your hand?"

He pulled his hand free of the door, noticing the white splintered wood was stained with his blood, "No Quinn I don't feel better. How the hell are we meant to deal with this?"

"What do you mean how are we meant to deal with this?" she hissed back at him as she tried walking back and forth to calm the screaming infant.

"We have to do something!"

"What? What do you propose we do?" she was running on a short fuse, she was just as furious as him and yet he was acting as though she didn't give a damn.

"I don't fucking know. What would we do if it had been my sister? What if it had been Beth?"

"Puck I want to kill him just as much as you do," she walked over to the changing table, "but what can we do? Rachel needs friends right now, Beth needs her daddy. You can't be either if you're locked up."

"I know," his anger began to ebb away, "it's just it's Rachel, you know?"

She began changing Beth's diaper, "I know."

"She annoys the hell outta me," he admitted, "but then again you do sometimes to. She's like the kid sister I already got but can't protect." Puck stood by the changing table, looking down at his daughter, "I'm sorry baby, Daddy didn't mean to scare you."

"I don't know what we can do," she finished changing Beth and handed her to Puck, "See Daddy's ok, he's just a little angry."

He held his daughter close to his chest, "I am never and I mean never ever going to let anyone hurt you," he whispered.

* * *

"San?"

"Yeah," she didn't look up from the magazine spread out on her bed.

"Do you think she'll sing again?"

"Who Britt?" she had to double check, for all she knew Brittany was on about Christina Aguilera or someone like that.

"Rachel."

She looked up from her magazine, "I don't know."

"I liked it when she sang," she said simply.

"I know you did," Santana replied gently.

"She's broken isn't she?" For all her stupidity, the blonde knew people.

"A little bit yeah," Santana sighed. She hated these types of talks, even if they were with Brittany.

"Can we do something to fix her?"

"I don't think so, this isn't something that can be fixed," the Latina answered truthfully.

"Oh," the blonde felt sad, she wanted to make things better, life was always easier if you were happy, "what can we do then?"

"We can't, not this time."

* * *

**Attention:** Two updates in one night - hell if I keep this up there may even be a third LOL

So what'd you all think? Not quite sure on the Brittany/Santana exchange, but hey what ya gonna do?

Ok question for you all and this has an impact on the story (I'm not gonna tell you how though, not yet anyway).

What year do you think Karofsky is in? Is he a junior with Rachel and co or is he a senior?

I look forward to hearing what you all think!


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **Ok so I'm not quite happy with this chapter but it'll do for now I suppose. Hopefully you'll like where this is headed. The reviews played a big part in the chapter and the one I'm working on at the moment. Like I said I'm not quite happy with this chapter so I apologise if it sucks.

Also time to clear up some confusion. Yes I know in the show they're sophomore's, but I've done this as a continuation so they're now juniour's. Thank God for google cos I had no idea what year they were in until I googled it LOL I have no idea how US schools work what with being in the UK and all so I'm sorry if I do get things wrong. I'm only human, or so I'm told.

**Warning: **

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

She sat staring at the textbook in front of her, the words all jumbling together and making no sense, they make have well been written in Cantonese or something. She tried to focus, but all she could think about was how she was going to approach the topic that was burning in her mind when she saw the girl she had oddly found comfort in. She tapped her pencil against the pages nervously. She hadn't realised anyone else was there; she hadn't heard any telling footsteps.

He was hesitant of approaching her when he first saw her sat the table alone. He didn't want to scare her. He found it odd that she was sat in the library instead of her usual haunt of the auditorium. It was even weirder that she was alone. Ever since everyone had found out what was wrong with her he had noticed that Mercedes and Quinn were nearly always by her side, or in very close proximity and he knew that both girls were sat in the cafeteria with Tina.

"Hi Rachel," he said softly.

Her head snapped up from the blurred lines in front of her, "Oh…hi."

"I didn't think I'd find you in here."

She tried to push her nervousness down, "Why not?"

"Well I thought you'd be with Mercedes and Quinn, kinda gotten used to seeing them with you."

"Oh," she knew he was right, "yeah, I just needed some time to think."

"I'm sorry," he started to back away, "I'll leave you to it."

"Artie, wait." She bit her bottom lip nervously and tried to keep her breathing steady, "You can sit with me…if you like?"

He smiled at her, "Thanks Rachel." He rolled over so that he was the opposite side of her, not wanting to be too close that he may risk making her uncomfortable, or more uncomfortable than she obviously already was. "What you reading?"

Rachel let out a frustrated sigh, "History crap, or at least I'm trying to but the words aren't making any sense right now."

"I know that feeling," he laughed quietly so as not to get a scolding from the dinosaur behind the front desk, "I feel like that when it comes to geography."

"Don't even get me started on geography," she ran a hand through dark hair.

Artie pulled his books out of his bag, and set up to work on his homework.

They sat in silence as they each tried to focus on the work in front of them. Fifteen minutes passed before either of them said anything.

"Artie?"

"Yeah?"

She hesitated, "Why are you…" she lost her nerve, "never mind."

He looked at her quizzically, "What?"

"Forget it," she mumbled, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"Come on Rachel, you can't leave me hanging like that," he said warmly.

She fiddled with the pencil in her hands, focusing on the way the paint had faded from where her fingers held it so that she didn't have to look him in the eyes, "Why are you so normal around me?"

"Am I?" He shrugged nonchalantly, "I don't think anyone has ever called me normal before."

Rachel raised her head a little so that her eyes could focus on him briefly, "You know what I mean."

"I know," he admitted, "I guess I know what it's like to have people treat you differently." Artie decided to be honest with her, "After the accident, everyone acted strange around me and I just wanted them to treat me like before. I know it's not the same, but I get what it's like to have people start acting weird around you."

"Yeah," she finally looked at him, "thanks Artie."

"Anytime," he smiled at her.

"What are you working on?"

"English," he said in mock disgust, "I kinda forgot that there was an assignment for today."

"I'd be freaking out if I'd done that," she admitted.

"Like you ever could," he joked.

* * *

She paced around in the girls toilets, trying to calm herself down. She could do this, it's not like Quinn had given her reason to be scared of her, especially of late. What's the worst that could happen? A part from the blonde saying no or feeling obliged to come with her or – _Ok stop! Just calm down. If she says no, she says no. _She took a deep breath and made her way out of the bathroom to go meet Quinn outside in the car park.

* * *

Quinn stood outside by Mercedes car, and reread the text on her cell.

_**Quinn can you meet me by Mercedes' car during free? I need to talk to you about something. Rachel **_

She puzzled over what Rachel wanted to talk to her about, whatever it was she had a feeling it was pretty serious. It had to be something serious this was the first time Rachel had ever sought after her to talk to her about something.

She walked over towards the girl as soon as she noticed her walking toward the car, "Rachel, are you ok? What's wrong?"

"I'm fine."

"Ok," she knew Rachel was lying, "so…what is it you want to talk about?"

Rachel shuffled her feet, "There's something I need to ask you."

The blonde looked at her expectantly.

"I'm kind of nervous," she admitted, "I don't like it, I don't do nervous. Now before I ask you I just want you to know that it's ok if you want to say no, you don't have to do something just because you feel sorry for me and think I need you or anything like that," she babbled.

"Ok stop." Quinn held her hand up, "Rachel listen to me ok?" Rachel nodded, "I don't feel sorry for you, I hate what you're going through and yes I wish I could make things better for you but it's not because I feel sorry for you. I actually care about you; you're my friend ok? So you need to stop thinking that, it's not good for you."

Rachel blushed, she felt guilty for assuming Quinn's motives were out of pity rather than genuine concern.

"What is it you want to ask me?"

"I have an appointment tomorrow," she tried to remain calm, the mere thought of being examined was enough to make her feel sick, "my dads are taking me after school…I have to have an ultrasound…" her voice seemed to almost vanish when she finally managed to whisper, "would you go with me?"

"Of course I will," she said gently, remembering how terrified she had been when she had gone for her first sonogram with Finn.

"It's straight after school…it would mean missing Glee."

"Mercedes will fill me in on everything I won't miss, and I'm sure Mr. Schue will be fine with me missing practice, it's not like I haven't missed it before."

"Thank you."

"Puck's got Beth tomorrow so I can stick around for a bit after if you want me to as well," she offered.

"I'd like that."

* * *

**Attention: **Thank you for all your reviews. I'm so overwhelmed by the responses I've been getting, I never thought anyone would read anything I'd written. So thank you so much!

Right as mentioned prior to the start of this chapter I'm in the UK not the US so I have limited knowledge about how things work over there so if someone would like to fill me in on sentence lengths often given to rapists whether it be over 18 or under, it would be very helpful and I would be eternally grateful.

I don't think I have any major questions to ask right now so I'll leave it at that.

Thank you so much for reading, and an extra big thank you to those who review!


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **Looky, looky another update! LOL Ok so this kinda took a life of it's own so it might suck, on the other hand it might now. I'm happier with this chapter than the previous one anyways. Right so just to let you know before people start saying I should've gone into more detail with some stuff, I've only given small snippets of some stuff as they're issues that I plan to cover properly at a later date, just planting the seeds for them now as it were. Also it seems quite a lot of you would like this to story to become Faberry, so think of this as a stepping stone in the right direction. I've not quite decided whether or not Rachel and Quinn will become a couple or just incredibly close friends but either way this is the start of the build up that would allow me to do either (I think). Right enough rambling - I hope you enjoy. :)

**Warning:**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

Rachel lay on the bed anxiously. Her fathers sat outside the room after she had asked them to wait outside, she couldn't cope with their guilt or their presence as well as try to keep herself together long enough to make it through the appointment. Quinn sat on a stool beside the bed, wondering if Finn had felt this nervous when they had come here for her ultrasound.

"Hi Rachel," the doctor greeted, "I'm Dr. Wu."

"I brought a friend with me, I hope that's ok…"

"That's fine," he smiled at Quinn, "it's nice to see you again. I understand your fathers are outside, are you sure you don't want them in here with you?"

"Yes."

"Ok then, if you'll just lift your shirt up so I can put the gel on."

Rachel froze, fear coursing through her veins. She wondered if there was a female doctor she could request for instead, she knew there wasn't. She had heard her dad on the phone to the clinic; he had tried so hard to get her to see a female doctor only to be informed that there were only two OB/GYN's in the area, both of which were male.

"Rachel?" Quinn's voice brought her out of her thoughts.

"I don't think I can do this," Rachel mumbled.

"It's ok Rach," she threaded their fingers together, "no one's going to hurt you."

She took a deep breath, and used her free hand to fold her tops over so that her stomach was exposed. She tightened her grip on the slim fingers intertwined with her own. This was the first time she had exposed skin to a male since what had happened and she was petrified.

"Ok this is going to be cold," Dr. Wu informed her.

Rachel's grip tightened even more when the cold gel came into contact with her skin and she was almost ready to leap from the bed and demand her fathers take her home but something kept her rooted to the bed.

"I'm just going to apply a little pressure," the doctor informed her as he continued out the examination.

Rachel closed her eyes, willing it to be over with already. She hadn't paid attention to the words coming from the doctors lips, she tried to focus on anything but where she was. Her eyes snapped open, turns out closing her eyes wasn't her greatest idea. She turned her head so that she was facing Quinn.

Quinn gave Rachel a sympathetic smile, she had no idea what was running through the girls mind right now but she could only imagine that it was nowhere near good. Her hazel eyes locked with chocolate, letting the girl know she wasn't alone.

Neither girl heard Dr. Wu mention the Doppler, but both became painfully aware of it as the sound of the rushing heartbeats filled the room.

Tears began to form in Rachel's eyes, "Stop," she pushed the equipment and the doctors hands away from her and sat up, "turn it off."

She swung her legs off of the bed and stood up, pulling her tops down regardless of the gel that was still on her skin.

"Rach wait," Quinn knew the doctor would need to tell her about what she should expect.

"I can't do this," she didn't even look at Quinn, before she left the room.

"Sorry Dr. Wu," Quinn apologised.

"Don't be, I understand this isn't easy. Would you mind sending her parents in?"

"Of course."

Quinn let the room, quickly telling Hiram and Leroy that the doctor wished to see them before heading outside to find Rachel.

Rachel was sat on the bench, staring at the traffic rushing by as people made their way home from work.

"Hey Rach," Quinn sat beside her.

"Can we go?" her voice was tired, "I want to go home now."

"Soon, the doctor needed to talk to your dads."

Rachel muttered something under her breath that the blonde was sure contained words she never expected to be included in the girls extensive vocabulary.

"Anything I can do?" she felt stupid even asking the question.

"Just take me home."

They sat in silence until Rachel's dads appeared and they all made their way to the car. The journey back to the Berry residence was silent and tense. As soon as they pulled up in the driveway Rachel was out of the car and rushing towards the front door, only to realise that her keys were in her bag that she had left in the car in her haste.

"Wait up Rae," Leroy said, his daughters school bag in hand.

"Daddy open the door," she pleaded, "I need to shower."

Leroy did as he was asked, he didn't even get a chance to extract his key from the door before his only child barged inside the house and tore up the stairs.

Hiram, Leroy and Quinn went to the kitchen. Hiram started busying himself with the task of making coffee while the other two sat at the breakfast island.

"Did Rachel say anything to you?" Leroy asked Quinn.

"No, she just wanted to go home. She didn't let Dr. Wu clean the gel off before she left."

"Yeah he told us," Hiram said sadly as he finished making the coffee and placed the cups on the island.

"Did he say if everything was ok?" Quinn asked cautiously, worried that the Berry's might not wish to tell her what was going on.

"Everything's fine," Hiram sat beside Leroy, "everything is as it should be. The…everything's healthy and developing the way it should be."

"We have to take her in again for another scan in a few weeks," Leroy said quietly unsure as to whether Rachel was still in the shower or not, "would you mind going to that one as well?"

"Ok," Quinn nodded, "but only if that's what Rachel wants."

"He couldn't tell us, what it is," Hiram's words were slow and deliberate, "Dr. Wu said he wouldn't be able to tell us until at least eighteen weeks."

"I remember," she said simply, remembering the mixture of emotions that had bombarded her when she had been told she was having a girl.

"Dr. Wu was kind enough to tell us, that once we know what sex it is it'll be easier to get the ball rolling for the adoption process," Leroy said.

"Is that what Rachel wants?"

"We don't know Quinn," the tall man said mournfully, "you've seen how she is with us, she won't tell us anything."

"She wants to be able to," the young mother offered, trying to comfort the older men, "she just doesn't know how to right now."

"I know huni," Hiram said to the girl, "we just wished we knew what we could do for her."

"Me too."

"She's our baby," Leroy couldn't stop the words spilling from his mouth, "it doesn't matter if she's forty and on the other side of the world, she'll always be our baby. I just can't wrap my head around any of this. It's not right."

"Leroy…" Hiram warned, "stop," he diverted his eyes quickly towards Quinn.

"It's ok, really" Quinn sympathised with the agony the Berry's must be feeling, "I can't even imagine what this must feel like for you. I tried to think how I would feel if something like this happened to Beth and I just couldn't cope with it."

"You mustn't think that way Quinn," the shorter of the two Berry's consoled, "you would never let anyone hurt her."

"You would never let anyone hurt Rachel," Quinn reminded them sadly.

"But it still happened," Leroy voice, realising what Quinn was getting at. "You're a surprising young woman Quinn," his voice was softer, it held the pride she wished she could've heard in her own fathers voice, "I'm glad Rachel has you here for her."

She stared down into her cup of tepid coffee, ashamed to look either of the men in the face. She remembered all the things she had done wrong by Rachel, all the ways in which she had made the other girls life hell, the derogatory names she had called her.

"I think Rae's out of the shower," Hiram said when he realised there was no sound of water rushing through pipes.

"Do you think she'll come down?" Leroy asked.

"Why don't we give her ten minutes?" Hiram answered, "If she doesn't come down then maybe Quinn could go check on her, I don't think she'll want either of us to be bothering her right now babe."

Fifteen minutes later Quinn found herself knocking on Rachel's bedroom door.

"Rach, can I come in?"

"Is it just you?" a muffled voice questioned.

"Yeah, it's just me."

"Ok."

Quinn entered the bedroom and shut the door behind her. Rachel was sat on her bed with her legs drawn close to her chess, face buried in the crook between her knees. Quinn went and sat beside the other girl, she didn't say or do anything, she just waited patiently for Rachel to tell her whatever it was she needed.

"It's really real isn't it? This is all happening, I'm not going to wake up and find it's also some terrible nightmare am I?"

Quinn's heart broke at the questions, "It's real."

"Can't it be a nightmare?" Rachel's words were so simple and childlike, she felt ridiculous saying them but she wanted so badly for them to be true.

"I wish it was Rachel, I really do."

Rachel leant her head against the blonde's shoulder, "What am I supposed to do Quinn?"

"I can't tell you that Rach."

"Why not? I don't know what to do, someone should know, someone should be able to tell me what I'm supposed to do," she knew her logic was ridiculous.

"No one would blame you if you were to change your mind about this, you know that right?"

"I thought about it," she answered truthfully, "I was seriously considering it but I can't. I might have been able to go through with it before today…but it's really real, I don't think I could live the rest of my life knowing I had done that. It's just now I have no idea what to do. There are so many things to take into consideration."

"Like what?"

"Adoption, keeping it," she pulled away from the blonde's shoulder and placed her fingers at her temples, "it's all too much. What if I couldn't look at it without seeing him? What if I gave it up and then later it wanted to find its birth mother like I did only to find out why I gave it up? I don't know if I could do that to another person, surely finding something like that out would destroy someone? There are so many questions and I don't have any of the answers. I can't plan this."

"I know this is going to sound ludicrous but try not to think about it, not right now anyway." Quinn looked at Rachel, "Maybe it's just best to take things one day at a time right now?"

"I don't know how to," Rachel said, she was telling the truth. She really was clueless as to how people could just 'go with the flow' and not have their days, weeks, sometimes months planned out. She always knew what she was doing, when she was doing it, how she was doing it. Now she had no idea.

"That's kind of the point," the ex-Cheerio said kindly, "you don't need to have everything planned out. Sometimes you just need to let things happen."

Rachel sighed, "Are my dads ok?"

"They're worried about you," she said, "they're not the only ones. They love you so much Rachel, they just don't know what to do to make things easier for you."

"You could've lied about that one," Rachel said sadly.

"Yeah well I learnt my lesson after the last lie I told turned into a monster," Quinn offered a small smile, "that and you taught me the importance of being truthful."

"Damn me," she tried to joke, but her voice just sounded hollow.

"Why don't we go downstairs and see your dads? I'm not sure about you but if you were anything like I was when I had my first scan you probably haven't eaten yet and you're starving."

"Ok, that's not fair," the tiny diva pouted, "I hate that you know these things and use it to your advantage."

"Yeah, yeah," Quinn stood, "come on, get your butt moving. You're gonna eat something no matter how gross it is."

"My eating habits are not gross!" she said indignantly as she unfurled from herself.

"Rach you ate cookies dipped in ketchup and mustard the other day! If that's not gross then I don't know what is!"

"Oh hush you, you went berserk over bacon," Rachel reminded the blonde of her mad addiction she had developed the second Puck's mom had forbidden her from eating it.

"Just get downstairs before I do something I regret," Quinn threw back at the girl, sticking her tongue out so she knew she was joking.

* * *

**Attention:** Ok so thank you so much for the help with my question, I'm going to look at the links people have sent me so I can get a better idea before I decide what to do with the scum that is Karofky.

Let's see I do have some questions this time...

Once again I put this before the judges - Faberry, yay or nay? LOL

Also getting to the point of revealing what has happened to her so that the jocks finally give the poor girl a break, but what I have planned in my head is kinda harsh, so I'm wondering how much more can she take before I break her beyond repair? Is the legal side of things, court, trial etc. becoming public knowledge going a little too far do you think? I promise it's the last thing I have planned in a way of being truly harsh to Rachel.

Wow I really do abuse poor Miss Berry don't I? Sorry about that.

I look forward to hearing peoples thoughts. I hope you've enjoyed what I've written up to this point. Might be a day or so before there's another update, I've gotta figure some things out.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **Ok so someone said to me to go with my instincts when it came to making Rachel's situation public knowledge and in a way it kind of worked out better for her that it did become public knowledge. However I'd like to say, this is the last mean thing I have planned for Rachel (that doesn't mean my brain won't come up with some evil at a later date, but I promise I'll try to be nicer to her from now on) LOL Seriously this chapter took like of it's own hence it's monster length in comparison to all the other chapters I've written. Don't expect all the chapters to be this long, this one was sheer accident! Oh and for those who wanted to see Rachel improve...Rachel finally finds a friend in a guy, as well as discovering that people care for her more than she realises.

**Warning: **Language.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

It had been almost two weeks since Rachel had finally found the strength to tell someone with power to do something about what had happened, what she was going through. She was slowly getting accustomed to sitting in the cafeteria at lunch with the girls. Despite the constant hum of hushed rumours from surrounding tables she felt oddly calm at her newfound ability to tune it out and focus on the girls inane chatter. She wasn't completely stupid; she knew a large part of this was to do with a certain blonde. She didn't understand it, but she knew better than to question it right now, there was something about the girl that just put her at ease and she needed that right now. She was even kind if getting used to have the blonde addressing her with her name instead of hurling derogatory comments at her. She still couldn't quite wrap her head around having Quinn Fabray as her friend – that piece of information was just a little too much for her brain at the moment.

She sat at the desk in her bedroom trying to focus on her homework; it was beginning to make sense when it hit her. She had never been so grateful to have her own en suite than right then. She retched and heaved until all of her abdominal muscles screamed at her. Sweat clung to her brow from the sudden unexpected exertion. Why they called it morning sickness she had no clue, it felt more like morning, noon and night sickness.

"You ok Rae?" Leroy appeared in the bathroom doorway.

She tried to answer him only to discover she wasn't finished with emptying her stomach completely, bile and all.

"Oh sweetheart," he grabbed the flannel by the sink and wet it, "do you want a glass of water?" he asked as he knelt down beside his pregnant daughter and pressed the damp flannel to her forehead.

"Daddy stop," she flinched at the proximity of her fathers closeness. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok baby, I'm sorry too," he reluctantly stood and stepped away from the girl he wanted so much to hold and cradle in his arms, "it's too much, I shouldn't have pushed."

A fresh wave of guilt consumed her, further cementing the mentality that this was her fault.

"Why don't you go for a lie down? You look so tired Rae," Leroy hated parenting from a distance, he had always been close to his little girl, "maybe an early night will do you some good."

"I think maybe you're right," she responded weakly.

"Do you need help getting to bed?"

"I'll be ok Daddy," they both knew her words had double meaning.

"Ok then, sleep tight baby," he blew her a kiss and left the room shutting the door behind him.

She crawled under the covers, expecting to lie there for hours the way she had done for the last three months it didn't happen. She fell asleep almost instantly, her body drained of all energy, her mind too tired to worry about the images that would inevitably haunt her in her sleep.

When she eventually woke up she was mildly surprised that it wasn't because she felt him on top of her, or because of the tearing of flesh against her collarbone or the feeling of being ripped in two from her core. It was a very fleeting thought, one that she wouldn't recall having once she had fully regained consciousness. He was still the reason she woke up, or at least the cause of the reason she thought ruefully as she puked her guts out in the bathroom. The diva felt like the nausea would never cease until finally it passed, forty minutes later. She stood on shaky legs and brushed her teeth. She briefly considered taking shower but found she was too tired, she slumped against the bathroom wall, relishing the way the cold tiles felt against her flushed skin.

She heard her alarm blaring through the foggy haze; she stretched to find that every part of her felt stiff and sore. It took the girl a moment to realise why she felt like someone had used her spine as an accordion, she had fallen asleep sat against the bathroom wall.

Rachel stumbled out of the bathroom towards the cause of her annoyance, ready to bash the alarm clock rather forcefully. Bleary eyed she misjudged where she had left her desk chair last night after fleeing to the bathroom and stubbed her toe.

"Damn it!" she yelled, grabbing hold of her foot and hopping over towards the bed, ripping the power cord of her alarm clock out of the wall with enough force to send the item flying to the floor so that it cracked the display.

She let out a frustrated growl through clenched teeth as she glanced at the black-purple bruise that was forming on her swelling toe.

Something told her today was not going to be a good day.

* * *

Rachel had hoped she would be one of the fortunate women who didn't suffer morning sickness; it was only over the last few days that it had really made its presence known. She couldn't remember Quinn ever being this sick. It wouldn't have been so bad if it could've waited the five minutes that was left of her first class so that she didn't have to bolt out of the room in front of the entire class. No, of course it couldn't wait. _I knew today wasn't going to be a good day._ She didn't realise how right she was as she left the girls bathroom and tried to navigate her way through the now crowded corridors back to the classroom to retrieve her bag.

A large hand clamped down on her shoulder and spun her against the row of lockers, the thud of her weight colliding with metal effectively silencing anyone within hearing radius. She was trapped between metal and his big bulk.

"Bitch," Azimo spat, "what the hell is this? Is this your idea of some kinda of sick joke?" he waved a rolled up newspaper about frantically.

The little part of the old Rachel Berry that lay hidden deep within her wanted to yell back at him, to tell him that she had no idea what he was on about and that she would answer none of his questions until he learned to address her in a more appropriate fashion. The large part of the Rachel Berry she was now stood rooted to the spot, trying to meld into the metal that pressed against her back so that she could get away from him.

"Yo freak I'm talking to you," he yelled in her face.

"Back off!"

He head snapped to the side as fast as his thick neck would allow him to, "Stay out of it Lopez."

The Latina stormed towards him, "I said back the fuck off!" She drew up beside him, "Now," she growled through clenched teeth.

He thrust the rolled up newspaper into Rachel's chest, "This ain't over freak."

Santana glared at his retreating figure, fighting the urge to run after him and break his nose.

Rachel unrolled the newspaper and scanned the words that were now smudged across the page from where Azimo had gripped it tightly in his sweaty palm.

"What the hell was that about?" Santana asked, worried that her actions against Karofsky may have resulted in bigger consequences than she could've originally anticipated.

Rachel looked up at the Cheerio, her eyes filled with a fresh fear that Santana recognised to be different from the one that filled the girls eyes for the last few months. "I-I have to go," Rachel clung on to the newspaper and ran from the prying eyes that had watched the event unfold.

"Berry!" Santana shouted after her, _Damn she's quick for a pregnant chick.

* * *

_

Kurt walked over to the table the Glee kids sat at for lunch and dumped a bag unceremoniously on the table, "Where's Rachel? I believe this is hers."

Mercedes looked at the boy she once had a crush on, "What do you mean? She's not with you?"

"No, I found her bag in my last class," Kurt's girlish features crumpled in confused, "what's going on?"

"She wasn't in Spanish with Quinn," Mercedes began to worry, "Quinn's gone to see if she's in the auditorium."

"Wait, you've lost Rachel?" Puck piped up, suddenly losing interest in his food.

Quinn walked towards the table and noticed the bag; "She's here?" her voice was almost relieved.

"No, Kurt found her bag," Mercedes said.

"Wait, what?" Quinn began to panic, "Kurt what room did you find that bag in?"

"Erm…209," he answered.

"Shit," the blonde swore loudly.

"Jesus Q, haven't heard you swear like that in a while," Santana joked as she came towards the table, Brittany close behind her, "what's up?"

"Rachel's missing."

"What do you mean Berry's missing?" Santana had a sudden jolt of panic shoot through her.

"We can't find her anywhere. Kurt found her bag in 209 and that's where she had her first class today, and she wasn't in Spanish," Quinn reeled off.

"I saw her earlier, between classes," she tried to withhold the emotions from sounding in her voice, "ASSimo had her pinned against the lockers. I told him to fuck off but when I asked her what the fuck it was all about she just said she had to go and bolted."

"Does she have her cell?" Brittany asked as though it was that obvious.

Mercedes checked through Rachel's bag, "It's not in here, maybe she has it in her pocket?"

Quinn hurriedly punched Rachel's number into her phone and hit call. She listened anxiously as the phone rang, and rang, and rang until it reached the voicemail, "Rach, it's Quinn. Where are you? Call me back as soon as you get this ok?" she clicked her phone shut and looked at the group worriedly.

"Maybe we should try looking for her?" Mike suggested.

"Good idea," Finn stood, "maybe we should tell Mr. Schue too, he could ring her dads to see if maybe she went home?"

"S," Quinn rounded on the Latina, "take Brittany, check the locker room see if she's in there. If you see Azimo make sure he's not done something stupid like lock her in cupboard somewhere."

"C'mon B," Santana grabbed Brittany's hand and dragged the slightly confused blonde away.

"Guys," she turned to Matt and Mike, "see if you can find anyone who's seen her."

"Ok," they pushed themselves up from the table, ready to start interrogating each individual clique in the cafeteria before expanding outwards.

"You three," she focused on Puck, Finn and Kurt, "check the music stores, theatres, any place that she might find similar to the auditorium."

"Got it," Puck answered, "I'm driving," he informed the other two.

"We'll see if Mr. Schue is in his office on our way out," Finn said helpfully.

"Artie, check the AV rooms, library, quiet places in school where she might be hiding."

"Ok, I'll keep checking the auditorium too in case she's turns up there."

"Tina, do you know where Rachel lives?"

"Yeah," she nodded, "want me to go check if she's at home?"

"Please," she thought about it for a minute, "Tina, if her dads are in get them to call me."

"Ok," she vanished from the cafeteria, car keys in hand.

"Where does that leave us?" Mercedes asked.

"Parks, I'll take east, you take west."

"Do you really think she's going to want to go to a park right now?" Mercedes asked dubiously.

"I don't know Mercedes," Quinn grabbed her things and Rachel's bag, "she said she liked to go on the swings to think, it's worth a shot."

* * *

Rachel stared at the words on the page over and over again, trying to comprehend what this meant for her. Trying to understand that maybe she wasn't entirely to blame. She wasn't quite sure what to think, she had spent so many hours worrying about the coming events she would have to endure that she had never considered this possibility. Her phone bleeped from her pocket over and over again. Eventually she tore her eyes away from the paper and looked at her phone. She scrolled cleared her screen of the twenty-three missed calls and scrolled through some of the text messages.

_**Rachel where are you? I'm worried. Quinn x**_

_**Where you at baby girl? Cedes**_

_**Call me. B**_

_**Rachel I think Quinn is going to have a coronary if you don't call her soon – Kurt**_

_**Rach where are you? Are you ok? I'm scared something bad has happened to you. Finn x**_

_**Seriously Berry this isn't funny…where are you? Noah.**_

_**Sweetie please answer your phone. Quinn x**_

_**Your dads are worried about you and so am I. Call me! Tina x**_

_**Berry where the fuck are you? S**_

_**Rae call me! Where are you? A friend of yours is at the house saying they can't find you. Please baby I'm worried. Remember we love you, Daddy xXx**_

_**WHERE ARE YOU? Q**_

_**Rach it's Dad, where are you? I'll come get you. We're not mad at you sweetheart, we're worried. xXx**_

Rachel shut her placed her phone on the floor and just stared at it as it continued to sing at her.

* * *

Artie had checked every quiet place within the school he could think of.

"Any sign of her?" he asked when crossed paths with Santana and Brittany for the third time.

"No," Santana let out a frustrated grunt, "you?"

"I've checked everywhere I can think of, I'm on my way back to the auditorium to see if she's there."

"I doubt it."

"She's not text me back," Brittany said sadly.

"It's ok B," the Latina linked arms with the dumb blonde, "we'll find her."

"I'll call if I find her," Artie said as he began to make his way back towards the auditorium.

"Hey roller," Santana called after him, "you've not seen assface by any chance have you?"

"Not today."

"Ok, well shout us if you find her," the Latina threw over her shoulder as her and Brittany began to head off on their search for Azimo, "I need to kick her ass for this when we find her."

* * *

"Quinn, any luck?"

"No," she spoke into her cell, "but I've still got some parks to check."

"Leroy's calling the police," the line crackled as Hiram drove under a bridge.

She didn't want to say the words that came next, "Has anyone checked the hospital?"

"I tried calling but I didn't get anywhere, I'm on my way to get Leroy and we're going there next."

"Ok," she struggled.

"We'll find her Quinn," he didn't quite believe his own words, Rachel had always been dramatic but she'd never done anything like this to them.

* * *

Artie rammed his chair into the wall in frustration, the auditorium was still empty. He had checked everywhere in the school he could think of. That's when it occurred to him, no one was checking the outer school grounds. He racked his mind, trying to think of places that were quiet enough to get away from everyone. _Under the bleachers…no, football practice. Football practice! _Artie suddenly an idea of where to find her.

* * *

Rachel enjoyed the quiet; this was the longest she had been left alone to her thoughts without constant supervision. It was nice, it was liberating. She knew she ought to go back to school, or at least reply to one of the panicked text messages or answer her phone. _This is insane, how did I get here?_ She finally allowed herself to think of things that everyone had been telling her over the last couple of weeks, except this time she really listened to what they had been saying.

_"No one would blame you if you were to change your mind about this, you know that right?"_

_ "__You taught me the importance of being truthful."_

_ "__I just wanted them to treat me like before. I know it's not the same, but I get what it's like to have people start acting weird around you."_

_"You can't do this alone Rachel."_

_"I don't think it's a good idea for you to drive, why don't I give you a ride home?"_

_"God you really are going to keep living as though nothing's change aren't you? Rachel ignoring the truth is not going to make it go away."_

"_You're scared – I get that, but you can't do this alone."_

_"It's going to be ok, we'll help you. I promise."_

_"Rachel we just want to help you, we'd never do anything to hurt you."_

_"You are anything but fine baby girl."_

_"I wasn't lying when I told you I was worried about you."_

_"He did these, didn't he?"_

"_I'll get him off of you. I promise. I won't let him hurt you again."_

_"It's ok sweetie, I got you, you're safe, I've got you."_

_"You didn't do anything Rachel. This is __his__ fault not yours."_

_"Baby girl you're not alone."_

"_I made a choice. You had yours taken from you."_

"_You are many things but you are neither disgusting or damaged goods. I know you don't believe that right now but I swear to God it's true."_

_"You can't let what other people think stop you from doing what you love."_

_"You're probably right, I would've made you show me who it was so I could kill him myself."_

_"Didn't want to sing without you."_

_"No sweetie, he's not going to win, not anymore."_

"_I can talk to your dads."_

"_We aren't friends…but I'd like to fix that."_

"_Team is like family, no matter how much you hate each other or how much they annoy the hell out of you, you still care about them."_

_"You're kind of stuck with us now."_

"_I actually care about you; you're my friend."_

Rachel felt a pang of guilt, she realized how much Quinn had been there for her lately and all she could think about was how she had thrown it back in her face.

_"When are you going to wake up Quinn? Nothing is going to be ok! He's going to find out that I'm pregnant and he'll kill me. He's going to know that I told you and Mercedes and he is going to make me pay! How is any of this ok? Nothing is ok. I am not ok with any of this. I feel like everything keeps on coming at me and I just want to curl up in a ball, go to sleep and never wake up. How can anything be ok when I was raped?" _

Her phone brought her out of the echoes in her mind, she stared at the display and watched as Quinn's name flashed on her screen. She knew she should answer the phone, she knew she should talk to the girl, she wanted to – she just didn't know what to say.

* * *

Artie wheeled himself over the turbulent ground, the further he got away from the school building the more he was beginning to doubt his idea. That was until he heard Defying Gravity floating through the air. It cut off. He was getting angry with himself, he'd be there by now if his legs would just work. The song began to float towards him again, this time gaining volume as he tried to move as fast as he could. A wave of relief washed over him as he found Rachel sat in the tire swing at the edge of the trees that surrounded the campus.

"Hey," his voice was soft, he was worried that he would make scare her into running off.

Rachel's head snapped up, her eyes locking with the concerned ones that focused on her so intently, "Artie, I…" she wiped away the tears with the back of her sleeve.

"I never thought I'd live to see the day when you cut class," he smiled gently at her, "everyone's worried about you. They're all out looking for you."

"They are?"

"Yeah, even Santana."

"Oh God she's going to kill me."

"Nah," Artie pulled up as close to Rachel as the earthy terrain would let him, "although she did say she was going to kick your ass when she found you."

"In that case can we not tell anyone you found me?" she asked seriously.

"What are you doing out here Rachel?"

"I needed to get away," she was honest with him, which surprised her, "I needed to think."

"I get that, it's just why here?" he was genuinely intrigued.

"I like swings."

Artie looked at her as though she was a stranger, despite the bravado and the bouncing between boyfriends, he realised that Glee's number one star was almost as innocent as a child. Except she wasn't, not anymore, Karofsky had taken that innocence from her.

"Swings are good," Artie offered, "I remember coming to this one as a kid so I could watch the football games without getting caught."

"Are they mad at me?"

"I don't think so, everyone's just really worried about you." He hesitated for a moment before deciding that it was worth a shot. He reached over with his gloved hand and carefully placed it on top of one of Rachel's bare hands, "You wanna talk about it?"

"I don't think I'd make much sense if I did."

"It doesn't have to make sense," he was surprised that she hadn't pulled away from him, "did something happen with Azimo?"

"How do you know about that?"

"Santana said he was bothering you this morning."

"Oh," she flexed the fingers of her free hand, "kind of." Rachel passed him the newspaper.

"Is this today's?" he asked before reading the words in front of him.

"Yes, I don't normally read the local newspapers, so I didn't see it until Azimo…gave it to me," she told a small lie, not wanting any more of the Glee kids to get suspended or worse expelled.

Arties eyes scanned the article, finally understanding why Rachel had felt the need to pull a Houdini and disappear on everyone.

_**Local high school senior Dave Karofsky, 18, last night admitted to the rape and sexual assault of a fellow pupil on January 4th. The girl who cannot be named for legal reasons is believed to be a junior that attends the same high school and it alleged that the attack was due to a disliking towards the girls parents. Karofsky's lawyers are hopeful that his admission of guilt will reflect in his favour and are also hoping that he will be sentenced as a minor due to the attack taking place before his eighteenth birthday. Karofsky's family was unavailable for comment. The eighteen year-old is due to be sentence at the end of April. **_

"Wow," Artie said shocked, "this is good Rachel."

"Is it?" Rachel said disbelievingly.

"Of course it is, you probably won't have to go to court because of this, you won't have it looming over you anymore."

"Won't I? Artie everyone at school, in this town is going to know that this is about me. My dads don't know what he said about them when…and now they're going to. When everyone finds out that I'm," she swallowed the rock that had formed in her throat, "pregnant, they're going to know that it's his."

"I see your point…"

"I don't know what to think about it, it doesn't feel real."

"I imagine none of it does," he gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"What do I do?"

"Just a suggestion, why don't we let everyone know you're safe?"

She sighed, "Ok but when they kill me I'm blaming you."

"Deal," he began to struggle against the dirt and grass, his arms tired from his frantic searching.

"Let me help?" she asked gently, finally understanding what it felt like to have people treat you differently because of something you had no control over.

"Thanks," Artie threw a smile over his shoulder, "my arms feel like jelly."

Rachel took the handles of his chair and began pushing him back towards school, "So now what?"

"Now we hope Quinn will be able to stop Santana from killing you," he chuckled, "unless of course Quinn kills you first."

"You're not going to make this easy for me are you?"

"Hey I'm not the one that vanished for the day, this is the diva storm out to end all storm outs."

"Hey Artie, is there a cliff around here anywhere?"

"Huh?"

"I want to push you over it," she said flippantly.

"Haha drama queen, why not try one I haven't heard," he voice was full of sarcasm.

As they entered the school their ears were assaulted by a high pitch squeal.

"Q, get your ass here," the Latina glared at Rachel, "no she's fine, but she won't be if you don't get your ass here quick."

Brittany continued to squeal excitedly, like a kid on their first trip to Disney world, and ran over to Rachel and flung her arms around her.

"You're ok!" the ditzy blonde beamed.

"Brittany…you're cutting off my oxygen supply," Rachel managed to choke out.

"B put her down," Santana strode over to the unlikely trio, "if anyone gets to throttle Berry it's me." She eyed Rachel suspiciously, making sure there were no obvious signs of physical harm "I swear to God Berry I could kill you!"

"I'm sorry," Rachel said meekly.

"What the hell where you thinking?"

"I-"

"Don't answer that," the Latina replied, "I don't think I've ever seen Q so shit scared in my entire life. She was close to having an aneurysm or something!"

"Santana, if I could just…" Artie tried to interject, only for the Latina to silence him with her eyes.

"You ever do that again and I will actually kill you!" Santana continued to scold Rachel as though she was a naughty child who had wondered off in a busy mall, "What if you'd been hurt? No one had a fucking clue where you were. Did you ever think about that?"

Artie gave up trying to save Rachel from the verbal abuse that clearly wasn't going to come to an end any time soon, so he did the only thing he could think of to distract the fuming Cheerio even though he risked loosing the use of his arms, he hit Santana with the newspaper.

"What the fuck wheels?"

"Shut up and read that," Artie managed to stumble out, suddenly realizing that directing Santana's angry at himself was probably not the smartest decision he had made.

Slowly the rest of the Glee club began to filter back into school, the girls crushing her as they all ran to hug her. Quinn was the last of the Glee kids to arrive.

"Your dads are on their way here," she said quietly.

"Q," Santana quirked an eyebrow at the ex-Cheerio captain, "you been crying or something? You look like shit."

"Shut it S," Quinn snapped half-heartedly at her best friend.

The paper was being passed around and being examined by everyone, all in turning letting out woops of excitement and saying things about the bastard that Karofsky was that didn't need repeating.

Quinn took the opportunity to pull Rachel to the side, "You ok?"

"Quinn," she took the blonde's hands in her own, "I'm sorry. For today, for the stuff I've put you through the last few weeks. I know you're trying to help and…I've not exactly made it easy…and I'm sorry."

Quinn offered a watery smile, "Don't be sorry. Just promise me you won't pull something like this again?"

"I promise," she felt that she should explain herself, "I just needed to get away from it all…the newspaper…it was just too much."

"Your dads told me about the paper, are you ok?"

"I have no idea. I don't know what to think."

"Maybe you shouldn't."

"Rae!"

Rachel dropped Quinn's hands and braced herself for the two grown men that were hurling towards her, she knew that even though she couldn't really handle it right now she couldn't deny her fathers this. They needed it.

"I'm sorry Daddy," she whispered into Leroy's shirt.

"Thank God you're ok," Hiram placed a kiss on his daughters head, "we were so worried."

"I know, I didn't mean to worry everyone."

"The important thing is you're ok baby," Leroy rested his head atop of his daughters, reveling in having his baby in his arms.

"I swear I haven't been that scared since that time you decided to wander backstage at Romeo & Juliet when you were eight," Hiram laughed at the memory, trying to alleviate some of the guilt he knew his daughter was feeling.

"You had to tell everyone that?" Rachel whined.

"You wondered backstage when you were eight?" Kurt sniggered, "Christ Rachel do you ever do anything normal?"

"She really doesn't," Hiram smiled.

"Right, well I'm not sure about everyone else," Leroy addressed the group, "but after all that excitement, I'm hungry."

"When are you not hungry?" Rachel said cheekily.

"So you're all very welcome to come back to ours for pizza or takeaway of some sort, as a thank you for helping us find our girl," Leroy finished, ignored the jibe from Rachel.

"Definitely!" Finn grinned his trademark goofy grin.

Puck looked at his watch, "I've gotta go pick Beth up, so rain check for me."

"Don't be silly, bring her over." Hiram beamed, "Beth's a sweetie, we love having her over."

"Erm…ok, awesome," Puck was quite surprised, he knew Quinn had taken Beth over to the Berry household but he hadn't realised how accepting of her they had been, he had grown used to the disapproving tuts and stares that most adults gave him and Quinn when they realized they were Beth's parents.

"Then it's settled," Leroy smiled thankfully at the group.

"I'll catch you up," Finn said, "someone should probably let Mr. Schue know we found Rachel."

"Invite him too," Hiram instructed Finn.

Everyone started to disperse, heading towards their cars or catching a ride from someone who had a car. Quinn linked her arm through Rachel's as they made their way towards the Berry's car. The blonde leaned towards the shorter girls ear and whispered, "Now tell me they don't care about you."

* * *

**Attention:** Ok so what's the verdict? Too long? LMAO probably and for that I'm sorry, for some reason I just couldn't stop writing when it came to this chapter! Believe me when I say it was intense, that many voices to control? Never again! LOL

So now you know Karofsky's age, what do you reckon his sentence should be?

There seems to be a split when it comes to Rachel and Quinn and as to whether they get together or not. I kinda have chapters written in my head already so I'm just gonna go with the flow and see what happens I think. Besides apparently if I just go with the flow you get long ass chapters like this one LOL

I hope you all enjoyed it and that it was so long that it bored you to tears.

I love forward to hearing what people think.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **Ok so I listened about people liking the longer update and this is what you got :) It is shorter than the previous update but I was kinda running out of steam and figured that if I continued I would probably muck it up so I left it. I'm not quite sure how this chapter has worked out, a part of me likes it the other part of me doesn't. I said I'd look in on the other characters at some point so this is kinda my attempt at that. Enjoy!

**Warning: **Language.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

**Rachel:**

For the first time in her high school life, Rachel 'ridiculously annoying' Berry, knew what it felt like to have real friends. Her life no longer revolved around Broadway and MySpace videos, she actually had friends that she wanted to spend time with and they wanted to spend time with her. It was a strange feeling. She had the constant niggling fear that at any given moment someone was going to pull the rug out from under her feet.

Since the Houdini incident as Artie had so kindly dubbed it, Rachel was beginning to slowly show signs of improvement. Truthfully it was a painfully slow progression, but even a little progress was better than no progress. She was able to spend more than thirty seconds in a room with her fathers, she wasn't quite ready to turn to them for comfort the way she had done before the shit hit the fan, but she was able to carry out general small talk with them, "Hi how are you? How was your day? How's work?" the general mundane conversation that you hold everyday sometimes with strangers but take for granted.

No one was foolish enough to believe that she was ok, everyone knew that each day brought a new struggle, a new fear or a fresh nightmare for the small star but they also knew who she trusted enough to let help her. They knew that the girl felt comfortable with Mercedes to attempt to regain the parts of her that she had lost, the parts that even when she annoyed them they had all secretly liked about her. They knew that Artie was the one guy she felt safe with and that when they were together the two continually mocked each other, it was as if Artie had made it his own personal mission to make Rachel laugh and smile as often as he possibly could, even if it meant making a total ass of himself. Both of the friendships had surprised them all. There was a time when Mercedes and Rachel were at permanent loggerheads as they both battled for the spot of top diva in Glee. Artie, while he had never really had a problem with Rachel, had caught them all off guard because they had all expected the first guy she would trust would be Kurt for the obvious reason that he was gay.

The thing that had truly thrown them all for a loop, Mr. Schue and the Berry's included, was the connection she had developed with the girl that tormented her from the very first day they had started sophomore year together. Everyone had heard the names (or of them in the case of the Berry's), and seen the slushies that she had been a constant target for, they had all been witness to the hurt that had flashed in chocolate eyes because of everything she was made to endure every day of high school. No one could understand what it was that Quinn Fabray had that could soothe Rachel, but whatever it was they were thankful for it.

Rachel had started seeing a councillor, rather reluctantly, for the sake of her fathers. She hated it, all this touchy-feely "and how does that make you feel?" bull shit, every time that question cropped up and it did one way or another even if it was rephrased to sound completely different she felt like screaming at the councillor but instead she kept the screaming confined to her thoughts. _How the fuck do you think I'm feeling? I can't hug my dads, I lost my virginity to a rapist, I'm pregnant because of said rapist, oh and my clothes no longer fit. And just to make things that little bit more interesting I have to be careful about what I say to you because legally I'm a minor and you can tell my dads whatever the hell you want to tell them and I don't want them worrying any more than they already are. I'm tremendously brilliant thanks, life couldn't be better. Moron. _She tried to make it work, she wanted to get back to who she used to be although sometimes she wondered if that was truly was what she wanted.

Rachel was becoming more accustomed to seeing Puck, as he'd quite often pick Beth up or drop her off at hers if Quinn was there. It was amazing how much he had changed since the birth of his daughter, even in school, she saw less of badass Puck that tossed kids in dumpsters just because he could and saw more of sweet Noah who found his daughters name in a song. She was still edgy around him; she knew he would never hurt her. Even when they had dated he hadn't really pushed her into anything she didn't want to do, but that was the problem, they had dated. Puck had once wanted her in a way that Karofsky had taken from her.

It was worse with Finn, things with Puck were awkward and uncomfortable for her, but Finn made her skin crawl. He still had the longing in his eyes that he had when he had told her he loved her when they finally got back together before she had broken up with him for the final time. She could see the question he wanted to ask written across his face, even if he didn't realise that he had thought it, was Karofsky the reason she had dumped him? A part of her wished she could say yes that was the reason, but it would be a lie. She had broken up with Finn before January; it wasn't anything he had done. Finn had been the perfect boyfriend, sweet, kind, loving and yet something wasn't quite right. That was why she had spent nearly an hour every day after she had broken his heart sat in the park, lazily pushing herself back and forth on the swing with one foot examining every iota of feeling she had to try and understand what didn't feel right, why things with Finn weren't quite what she needed. She was pretty close to figuring it all out but when she came close to the truth she panicked and decided to head home. Ever since that day she had neglected the thoughts that had sent an unsettling chill down her spine and reminded her of what happened as she walked home that day.

Rachel wasn't entirely sure how, but every day she managed to walk through the halls of McKinley and keep her head held high, well she wasn't staring at her feet as much when she walked. After the article in the paper the school buzzed with conspiracy theories, and formed into two sides, his and hers. Thankfully her side outweighed his, mainly because she had Santana Lopez on her side, and she was spared most of the torture his side had planned for her, all they subjected to was sneers of disgust.

She was surprised by the change in behaviour from the Latina Cheerio towards her. Santana had promised that she would still be a bitch towards Rachel and in fairness she had stayed true to her word but it wasn't the same. The remarks were bitchy as ever, but they lacked the same bite they had once had. When no one was looking the queen bitch even went as far to offer Rachel a quick smile that said 'I've got your back'. Whether Rachel realised it or not, the Latina was never too far from her in the hallways at school usually with Brittany dutifully by her side. Santana had got into the habit of shadowing the performer, glaring at anyone who so much as glanced in the star's direction, silently daring one of Karofsky's idiot followers to give her the excuse she needed to vent her anger at them.

She couldn't help but marvel at the way her life had changed so much over the last 14 weeks. It was insane. It was unreal. She had never realised it was possible to feel so many varying emotions all at once. She didn't know whether that was because where she was at in her head or whether it was something to do with the hormones surging through her body. It was overwhelming. It was confusing. How was it possible to feel so much all at once and still feel numb at the same time?

* * *

**Artie:**

He didn't understand what it was that had made her choose him. He was nothing special, he was Artie 'wheelchair kid' Abrams. This wasn't like Tina choosing to be with him despite his disability, he loved Tina and she loved him back, which he still had to stop and wonder about sometimes, but Rachel choosing him as the guy she could trust? He just couldn't make sense of it. He had briefly considered that it might because he was in a wheelchair, but had dismissed it when he realised that she had never treated him any differently because of it. He had also considered that it was because he was already in a relationship and would have no intentions of seeking her affections but that made him laugh, if she was going to trust any guy because of them not fancying her it would be Kurt. It didn't make sense but he didn't need it to.

He had noticed the little things, the changes in her that he wasn't sure everyone else got to see, with the exception of maybe Quinn. That had surprised him. He couldn't understand what it was about Quinn Fabray that clearly made Rachel feel ok, for lack of a better word, all knew was that if the blonde was with her Rachel seemed like a completely different person. It was something he had often wondered at. He had even noticed that the ex-Cheerio was the one Rachel sought comfort in; she was the person she would willingly go to for a hug. He had tried to imagine in what world this would happen in, it was as though they were entirely different people. _They are_. He knew that everyone had changed, but no one had changed as much as the unlikely pair of friendshad, in fairness no one had gone through such life-changing events like they had, well with the exception of Puck.

Puck had surprised him, he never thought he would see the day where Puck stopped terrorising everyone that was considered a loser or geek and stop chucking them in dumpsters. He had never thought he would see the womaniser focus on only one girl, but that had all changed, Puck only seemed to have eyes for his daughter now. It was sweet, albeit slightly unnerving.

Artie had been spending a surprising amount of time with Rachel; more often than not they found themselves working together in the library. It was over these supposed study sessions, which usually turned out to be their excuse to have a chat, that Artie learnt so much about the diva that he didn't realise about her. He knew why she had always been able to deal with the constant abuse and slushying she had endured until recently, he knew what other interests she had outside of Glee and Broadway, he was even surprised to discover what music she liked other than show tunes. It turned out that her taste in music was quite broad, she had her favourite songs, the ones she knew in and out and could sing perfectly, she had the songs that suited her vocal styling's, these were the songs everyone knew of but he had learnt what she truly loved about songs. He was privileged that she had shared that piece of information with him. As a rule Rachel loved music of all forms, Broadway had taught her something every time her fathers had taken her away for a weekend to see the current show, but what really made it all matter, the reason she used music as her escape, were the lyrics. She had revealed to him that she found an unmistakable truth in lyrics and that more often than not, the songs that she truly loved because of the lyrics and what they meant to her, she kept to herself for fear of being mocked. He had been given another piece of the Rachel Berry puzzle.

Every day he felt like he was learning something about Rachel, and in turn she probably was learning about him too. The thing that made their friendship work was trust. For reasons that no one would ever truly know Rachel trusted Artie, she had chosen him. Artie hadn't expected to be friends with the diva, but he trusted her in return and had shared some of his experiences with her knowing that she understood where he was coming from.

They were so different but they understood each other in a way no one else could.

* * *

**Mercedes:**

She was glad she could be there for Rachel, but she knew what her true role in this was. It wasn't that she didn't want to be there for Rachel, she was there for Rachel but she knew that for some inexplicable reason the small girl needed the young woman that now lived with her. If the situation wasn't so horrid she would laugh that Quinn Fabray was the girl that Rachel turned to for comfort. Her role more than anything was to be there as backup, to help Rachel out whenever she could.

She hadn't expected the other role she now filled. She hadn't expected that she would strike up a friendship with Hiram and Leroy. It was an odd friendship; neither of the men treated her like a child but more as an equal. She supposed that was why she got on with them so well. She had nothing but respect for them. She had always been a little dubious of them when Rachel had first mentioned that she had two dads, it was a little weird. After all when she looked at Rachel and the way she used to be, it was a wonder that her parents had managed not to murder the girl, Lord knows there had been many a time in the past when she had wanted to. But she knew better now, she had seen the love they had for their daughter; she could see how what had happened was killing them.

She secretly harboured hope that Rachel would bounce back, she knew it wasn't going to happen; no one would ever be the same after experiencing something like that. Yet she still held hope, every day she thought she could see a little of the old Rachel. The Rachel that was a surprisingly strong woman. Mercedes had noticed how the starlet no longer walked with her eyes focused on the floor, how the girl now sat in the cafeteria with the rest of the Glee club and every now and then uttered something as contribution to whatever the topic was.

Mercedes had noticed the looks Finn still gave his ex-girlfriend, well latest ex-girlfriend, she could tell that he still loved her. She felt sorry for him, but she knew that she would have to take him to the side and tell him to get over it. Every time she had seen notice Rachel notice Finn's eyes on her she was sure that Rachel was going to flee the room screaming, she could see how the girl would look anywhere but Finn's directions, how Rachel's hands took a death like grip on the edge of her seat. She knew the last thing Finn had meant to do was scare the crap out of Rachel, but the fact was that was exactly what he was doing whether he realised it or not.

* * *

**Santana:**

Santana found it difficult to keep being a bitch towards the girl she had once taken deep pleasure in torturing. She would never admit it to anyone but Brittany but the day that Rachel went missing, she was genuinely worried about her. That led to the revelation that she actually gave a damn about Rachel. How the hell that had happened she didn't know, nor did she want to know.

She felt that it was her job to watch out for Rachel, make sure that Azimo and his goons knew that if they were to even look in Rachel's direction she would end them.

Santana had found the she had actually taken a liking to Berry, which was beyond weird but she had found herself at the girls house with the rest of the girls from Glee to watch a film and she had actually enjoyed spending time with them.

She knew that Rachel would soon need to go shopping for new clothes, and she secretly hoped that it would be a girl's day out. She hadn't lied when she'd told Rachel that it was more fun to mock her for her clothes when she wasn't wearing something as simple as jeans and a sweatshirt. A part of her actually missed tormenting the small girl over her fashion sense and a day spent shopping would give her the opportunity to regain her much missed hobby. Granted she knew her words would lack the punch they had once had, but that still didn't mean it wouldn't be fun to let Berry know that shirts with animals on them were only appropriate for pre-schoolers.

* * *

**Brittany:**

Brittany was stupid, everyone knew this even she knew this. More often than not she had no clue what people were talking about and needed Santana to act as translator. But there was always the rare occasion she knew things that others didn't, she just didn't realise that she knew them. She noticed things about people. Little things. Things that most people would think to be inconsequential, but she still noticed them. She had noticed things about Rachel; she just didn't understand what these things meant.

* * *

**Mike and Matt:**

Mike and Matt didn't know what to do about any of this. They had helped hunt for Rachel when she had pulled a smoke and mirrors on everyone but they still didn't know what they could do to help the girl. So the pair did the only thing they could think of, they approached every jock on campus, regardless of whether they were junior, sophomore or senior, and set the record straight about the girl everyone had doubts over because she wasn't in the penthouse of social standing.

* * *

**Attention:** So what'd ya think? I know the last two for this chapter were stupidly short but I didn't really know what to put for them and I guess that kinda shows.

Ok so I've got a lot going on in my head and I've got constant dialogue going on that I should probably get written down LOL

I do have a question for you though...

What would you rather see happen first -

The start of Rachel finding her voice again

OR

The day Karofsky is sentenced?

Just wondered cos I have plans for both but just not sure which one to go with first.

I hope you enjoyed this update and I thank you all for the reviews you've given me in the past and I beg for more, they've been so helpful!


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **Right so I was really tempted to split this chapter into two halves, but seeing as so many people seem to like the longer updates I decided against it. Right then... Bonding moments and a girly shopping trip. Oh and please don't hate me for how I've ended this chapter LOL That's all I'm saying. Enjoy!

**Warning: **Language (I blame Santana completely) and one very sickly sweet moment.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

Friday's Glee practice had come to an end and everyone was meandering about, discussing the success of the week's task that was finally over with. Rachel still made the effort to attend practice, she didn't sing but she enjoyed listening to the rest of the group perform, it was because of this that the group had started to return to some semblance of normality with their performance. They all tried harder for her.

The girls were all sat together, ever since the truth had come out about what had happened it had silently been agreed that the girls would sit with Rachel to try and ease her discomfort around the guys.

Rachel suppressed a yawn.

"We keeping you up Berry?" Santana mocked.

"Sorry, I'm just so tired."

"Ignore S," Brittany said.

"Britt's right, ignore San," Quinn rolled her eyes at her best friend, "she always talks rubbish."

"Watch it Q, just cos you're sat with Berry doesn't mean I won't smack you."

"Guy's," Tina's soft voice cut through, "what are you all doing this weekend?"

"Rae, what are we doing this weekend?" Mercedes questioned, she knew that both her and Quinn were staying at Rachel's it was something they did every weekend without question, "Because I love you and everything but I don't think I can take another weekend of watching films all day. You need to get outta the house, start going places."

"I…" Rachel didn't know what to say.

"Why don't we go shopping?" Quinn suggested, it was only the other day that Rachel had mentioned to her that her jeans were beginning to feel too tight and Mercedes was right Rachel needed to start getting out of the house, not for the sake of everyone else but more so that she didn't end up developing agoraphobia.

The gaggle of girls waited anxiously as they watched Rachel weigh up the idea before she finally resigned herself to the fact that she really did need to go buy some new clothes, "Ok," she sighed.

"Yay!" Brittany clapped, "I love shopping."

"Wait, we're all going?" Rachel was slightly hesitant, she had expected Quinn, Mercedes and Tina to want to go to the mall together but she hadn't even considered Brittany and Santana.

"Oh hell yes we are," Santana smiled, "do you honestly think I'd pass up the opportunity of criticising your taste in clothes?"

"S, I've told you before," Quinn warned, "be nice."

"I am being nice, if I leave Berry to go shopping with you and Mercedes she'll end up looking like a neon virgin Mary," the Latina laughed at the very idea, "and as funny as that would be, even I'm not that cruel!"

"Hey!" Mercedes was not prepared to let anyone criticise her impeccable choice of fashion.

Tina laughed, "Santana kind of has a point."

"So it's settled then," Mercedes smiled at the prospect of getting to spend some of the weekend out of the house, "we'll go shopping tomorrow."

"What have I got myself into?" Rachel asked Quinn quietly.

"You have no idea," the blonde laughed lightly, "you were the one who agreed to this."

"Yeah well I'm beginning to think I may come to regret that decision."

* * *

Quinn and Mercedes didn't make it to the Berry household until a little before six. After finalising plans for the weekend with the girls, they had dropped Rachel home before heading off to pick up Beth and swing home and get some clothes for the weekend.

"Hey Mr. B," Mercedes greeted when Leroy answered the door.

"Hi girls," he gave Mercedes a hug, "I was hoping you would be coming over this weekend."

"Hi Leroy," Quinn greeted, "where's Hiram?"

"He's on his way home from work, he ended up having to stay a little late to catch up on some stuff."

"Is everything ok Mr. B?" Mercedes asked.

"Yeah it's just," Leroy sighed, "I got a call from the lawyers today, they've set a date for the hearing."

"When?" Mercedes voice carried an edge or urgency.

"I'll let you know later hun, it's nothing personal but I've not told Rachel yet and I was waiting for Hiram to get home from work first."

"That makes sense."

"Leroy, is it ok if I go put Beth upstairs in the cot?" Quinn still hadn't lost her sense of formalities around the Berry's despite the numerous times they had told her to treat their house as her own, perhaps that was where the problem lay.

"Of course, just try and keep the noise down," his eyes looked towards the stairs, "she's having a lie down."

"Are you sure it's ok to go up then?" Quinn was worried about disturbing Rachel, the girl had seem so tired all day she was surprised that she hadn't fallen asleep during Glee or in the car.

"I don't think she's asleep, she just said she was going to lie down for a bit. You should go up, it's not fair to keep Beth in the car seat all the time and I'm sure Rae would want to know you guys are here."

"Ok."

"I'm gonna stay down here with Mr. B," Mercedes said apologetically to the blonde.

"Ok, I won't be too long."

The pair watched as the young mother vanished upstairs.

"She's so not coming down anytime soon," Mercedes said to Leroy as they headed to the lounge.

"Bad night?"

"Oh yeah," Mercedes laughed, "who knew someone so tiny could make so much damn noise."

"You think that's bad, you should've heard Rae when she discovered she could make noise."

* * *

Quinn unclipped Beth from the car seat and gently lifted her up, provoking a series of small grunts from her daughter.

"Shhh," she soothed, "its ok baby, be quiet for mommy."

She gently lay Beth in the cot and pulled the covers up over her, "Don't wanna wake Rachel up now do we?"

"Quinn?"

_Damn_. "Hey, sorry I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's ok," Rachel yawned, "I wasn't asleep."

"You should try sleep Rach, you look exhausted."

"Quinn?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you stay with me?"

"Sure," she slid her shoes off and placed them by the end of the bed, "scoot over."

Rachel slid over so there was more room, "Thank you."

"Try and sleep ok?"

* * *

Hiram glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece and noted that it was almost eight o'clock, "I suppose I should get dinner started."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Mercedes asked.

"I got it," Hiram smiled kindly at the girl, "why don't you go see if you can wake up the sleepy heads?"

"Ok," she laughed, "but if I end up with any injuries I'm holding you responsible."

Leroy laughed.

"Think it's funny do you?" Hiram directed at his husband, "You're helping me in the kitchen."

"Damn, I knew it was too good to be true."

Mercedes couldn't stop the grin that was plastered across her face, she had never seen a couple so at one with each other as she had done with Hiram and Leroy.

As she made her way up the stairs she could hear a dull whisper, she decided to investigate, thinking she would find Quinn trying to calm Beth. The sound was coming from the guest room so she made her way quietly to the doorway to discover the door was open slightly and peeked inside. What she saw surprised her. She hurried away to Rachel's room to see Quinn was asleep.

"Quinn," she hissed, "wake up."

Mercedes rolled her eyes when she didn't get a response.

"Quinn!" she shook the sleeping blonde, "Wake up!"

"What?" Quinn finally began to return to the land of living, her voice groggy from sleep.

"You've gotta see this!"

Quinn sat up and rubbed her eyes, "What? Wait, where's Rachel?"

"That's what you've gotta come see."

"Ok?" her brain was still fluffy from sleep.

"Be quiet ok?"

"Not a problem," Quinn yawned.

"Shhh!"

Quinn followed Mercedes to the guest room and the pair stood statue still as they watched silently, both revelling in the sound that was coming from within, a sound that neither of them were sure they would ever hear again.

Rachel sat in the wicker chair by the window, Beth cradled in her arms. Rachel's cheeks were stained with tear streaks, her eyes slightly swollen; she looked even more exhausted than she had done when Quinn had accidentally disturbed her. Her body trembled ever so slightly as she sang to the small girl in her arms, "Twinkle, twinkle little star…"

Quinn and Mercedes watched on silently letting Rachel finish the nursery rhyme before making their presence known.

"Hey Rae."

Rachel looked at the doorway, a look akin to a deer caught in headlights plastered across her face.

"That was beautiful Rach," Quinn walked over the chair, "I didn't think she'd ever get to hear you sing."

"I'm sorry," the words fell from Rachel's lips before she'd even had a chance to think them through.

"What for?" Mercedes asked.

"I..." she thought about it for a moment, "I don't know."

Quinn and Mercedes sat on the edge of the bed facing Rachel.

"When did you come in here?" the blonde asked gently.

"Erm…about four nursery rhymes and a lullaby a go," Rachel blushed, "it was the only thing I could think of to keep her calm."

"It obviously worked," the blonde looked at her daughter, love spilling from her eyes, "she seems to like you a lot."

"Why didn't you come downstairs? You could've kept me and your dads company," Mercedes enquired.

"I wanted to see how I'd feel…" she looked down at Beth, "I wanted to see if I could figure out what to do."

Mercedes was blunt and to the point, "Did you?"

Rachel sighed, "No, if anything I think I just confused myself further."

Beth decided at that moment to remind everyone she was there and let out a high pitch wail.

"Here," Quinn held her arms out to Rachel, who placed the screaming infant in her arms, "she's hungry. I know mommy hasn't fed you yet have I? I was sleeping because you kept me up all night."

"Speaking of food," Mercedes stood, "Hiram sent me up to get you two cos he's doing dinner."

"Ok, you guys go ahead," Rachel stood, "I'll be down in a minute."

"You sure Rae?"

"Yeah, I just want to go wash my face," she looked at her reluctant friends, "I'm ok I promise, I just want to freshen up."

Quinn nodded and vanished from the room, hurrying to get downstairs so that she could feed her screaming daughter, Mercedes following somewhat reluctantly behind her, muttering about skinny white chicks making too much noise.

* * *

The five of them sat at the dinner table with empty plates, idle chatter having filled most of the dinner. Despite the fact that neither Quinn nor Mercedes were technically related to the Berry's, it felt like a family dinner. Everyone at the table was loved, regardless of mistakes they had made, prejudices of the world, the pasts they had each other. None of it mattered.

"Rachel, we need to talk to you about something," Hiram started to steer the conversation towards telling his daughter about the phone call that Leroy had received earlier that day.

"Is something wrong?" Rachel's body stiffened, the last time her dad had used that tone of voice it was to tell her that her aunt had passed away.

"I got a phone call today," Leroy said softly, "from the lawyer. They've set a date for the hearing."

Suddenly her mouth felt drier than the Sahara, and her throat felt as wide as the eye of a needle, "When?"

"Thursday," Leroy watched his daughter warily.

Rachel nodded dumbly, her mind racing as she thought of the various outcomes that could result on that day. She managed to voice the question she already knew the answer to, "Are you going to go?"

Hiram cleared his throat, he hadn't expected his daughter to ask them about whether they would be attending it or not, "Would you be ok with that?"

She nodded; she didn't want to deny her fathers the opportunity of some form of closure surrounding what had happened even though she knew she would never truly have any for herself. "Can I stay home?"

"Are you sure about that sweetheart?" Hiram couldn't hide his concern, "I'm not sure its such a good idea that you spend that day alone."

"I can spend the day," Quinn offered, "if that's what you want Rach, I don't mind."

"But school…" she struggled to form a coherent thought but all she could think about was him.

"I'll go to school," Mercedes quickly countered, she knew how much Rachel was going to need Quinn, "I can fill you in on classes and homework. If anyone asks where either of you are, I'll just tell them your sick."

"Ok…" her brain couldn't quiet decipher what she had just agreed to. She pushed away from the table and stood to leave.

"Rae baby, where are you going?" Leroy panicked.

Rachel continued to the doorway, her brain on auto-pilot, "I'm going to take a shower," she didn't wait for a response before she disappeared from the room.

"Should we go after her? Make sure she's ok?" Mercedes asked.

"No," Quinn shook her head, " leave her be. I think she needs a chance to process this."

"Quinn's right," Hiram said sadly.

"What time is the hearing?" Mercedes asked.

"It's at two," Leroy answered, "so we'll be able to spend the morning with her at least."

"Will they need her to testify?" Quinn seriously hoped not, she didn't think Rachel would be able to cope with being in the same building as Karofsky let alone the same room.

"Thankfully no," Leroy's voice showed the first sign of relief he had had surrounding the entire situation, "when we went to the police, they filmed the interview…they said that if the case," the word tasted bad in his mouth, he hated that they viewed his daughter as another statistic, "made it to court, that they could avoid having to have Rach appear in court via video link. They had a psychologist speak with her before hand and he thought it would be in her best interest that she only had to discuss it in detail once, he said the questioning in court could prove too much for her."

"She never told us any of this," Mercedes voice was full of sorrow.

"I guess she didn't know how to," Quinn supplied, not wanting to reveal that Rachel had spoken with her in detail about dealing with the police. She felt bad for lying to Mercedes, but Rachel had spoken with her in confidence and she refused to betray her. She had hurt the starlet enough in the past and she had promised herself she would do whatever it took to ensure that she never hurt her again.

When Rachel hadn't resurfaced an hour later Quinn and Mercedes made their way upstairs to check on their friend. Rachel was sat on the floor still wrapped in towels, her damp hair clinging to the side of her face.

"Rach?" Mercedes called out to the girl.

"I'm fine," the response was automatic.

"And I'm the Queen of England," Mercedes retorted, "but you don't see me bragging about it."

Quinn sat beside Rachel on the floor, "You know your bed is much more comfortable."

Mercedes sat on the other side, effectively sandwiching Rachel between them, "Mama makes a valid point, your bed is seriously comfy."

Rachel sat silently between them.

"What you doing sat down here?" Quinn's voice was soft, full of concern.

"Everything was spinning," Rachel answered weakly, "I just wanted it to stop."

Mercedes and Quinn caught the double meaning to the quiet words.

"Did you sleep at all earlier?" Mercedes asked.

"Not really," Rachel admitted, "I just couldn't switch off. After a while I gave up."

"What do you say we all get an early night?" Quinn suggested, she knew there was no way they were going to get Rachel to try sleeping without either her or Mercedes there.

"It's probably a good idea," Mercedes joined in with the persuasion, "did anyone else get the feeling that Brittany likes shopping?"

"Gee what gave that away?" Quinn mocked jokingly, "You've never been shopping with Britt and S, believe me when I say we're going to need all the sleep we can get."

"What'd ya say Rae?"

Rachel nodded, too tired to try and argue with either girl.

"Ok, well you get dressed and we'll go say goodnight and bring Beth up," Quinn said.

"Ok."

Quinn thanked Hiram for watching Beth.

"Mercedes," Leroy called out, "can I borrow you for a moment?"

"Sure Mr. B," she turned to the blonde, "I'll be up in a minute."

"Ok. Goodnight Leroy, goodnight Hiram."

"Night sweetie," Leroy smiled at the blonde he had grown quite fond of.

Quinn made her way upstairs, baby bag across her shoulder and Beth resting against her chest.

Hiram pulled out his wallet and passed it to Leroy, who thumbed through a stack of notes and pulled out two hundred dollars.

"Take this with you tomorrow," Leroy held the money out to Mercedes, "whatever she needs make sure she uses this money ok?"

"She's not going to like this Mr. B," Mercedes accepted the money reluctantly.

"I know, but we don't want her spending her own money on things she needs," Leroy explained, "her money is supposed to be for the things she wants."

"Ok," Mercedes was glad she had left her bag with her purse in the hallway, "I'll try."

The Berry's followed Mercedes into the hallway and watched as she put the money away in her purse before drawing her into a hug.

"Good girl," Leroy pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"If the mall gets too much…" Hiram let his words fade away.

"I'll bring her straight home," Mercedes nodded in understanding, "don't worry, I'll take good care of her."

"We know you will," Hiram responded, "now go on, get your butt to bed."

"Night guys," Mercedes threw over her shoulder as she made her way up the stairs.

* * *

Rachel jolted awake at three in the morning, her chest rising and falling as fast as humming birds wings. As her eyes began to focus, she noticed Quinn was on the floor by the cot with Beth on the changing mat.

"You been up long?" Rachel whispered, not daring to disturb Mercedes sleep.

"No," Quinn looked startled, "did we wake you?"

"If only."

Quinn finished changing Beth and placed her back in the cot.

"Quinn?"

"Yeah Rach?" the blonde ask as she slid back under the covers.

Rachel's whispers decreased to the point they were barely audible, "What if they let him out?"

"Oh huni," Quinn pulled the smaller girl towards her and place a kiss against her forehead, "that's not going to happen, I promise."

Rachel pulled away slightly, trying to make sure her stomach didn't come into contact with Quinn.

Quinn noticed the way Rachel had subtle tried to change her position, "What are you doing?"

Heat rushed to the smaller girls face, "I didn't want you to have to touch it," her voice was filled with shame.

"It?" it took Quinn a second to realise what Rachel was on about, "Rachel it doesn't bother me."

Rachel closed her eyes as she finally admitted out loud why she always kept her body away from people as much as she could whenever they hugged her, "I don't want him touching anyone else, this…" she took a steadying breath, "this is a part of him that's always there."

Quinn finally understood why Rachel always hugged her at an odd angle, why she walked around the halls of McKinley with a folder in front of her midsection. "Don't hit me ok?" Rachel nodded, not understanding why she would ever hit the ex-Cheerio. Quinn carefully moved her arm and gently let her finger tips graze Rachel's stomach over the cotton shirt before allowing her hand to rest there. "This is your baby Rach, whether you decide to keep it or not. It doesn't make you disgusting or dirty, no matter what anyone else says. It doesn't matter who the father is because it's a part of you. It'll be perfect, because it's a part of you."

Rachel cried silently at Quinn's words. When Quinn pulled her against her again, she didn't pull away. Instead she let her head rest in the crook between the blonde's neck and shoulder and allowed the taller girl to stroke her hair until she fell back to sleep.

* * *

The three girls arrived at Starbucks to discover that the others were already sat at a table outside waiting for them.

"Hey guys," Tina greeted them warmly.

"Half ten my ass," Santana stood to stretch her legs, "it's nearly eleven, what the hell took you so long?"

"I wasn't feeling brilliant earlier," Rachel offered.

"Do you want to reschedule?" Tina asked.

"No, we're here now," Rachel attempted a smile, "shall we?"

"Where we going first?" Brittany asked excitedly, linking arms with Rachel.

Tina walked along side Quinn and the pushchair.

Santana grabbed Mercedes and hung back from the group for a moment, letting Brittany harass Rachel as to what shops they should definitely go to, "She ok? She looks more…" she struggled for the right word.

"Not really, they've set a date for the hearing." Mercedes didn't need to say anything more to explain.

"What?" Santana's eyebrows practically flew off of her face she raised them that quick, "When?"

"Two o'clock Thursday."

Santana nodded curtly, her mind racing as she formulated a plan. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and hurriedly typed _**We need to talk. S**_ she scrolled through her contacts before selecting Puck and hitting send.

They were only halfway through looking through the first shop when Santana's phone started ringing, she looked at the display.

She grabbed Quinn by the elbow, "I gotta take this, I'll be back in a minute."

"Ok," Quinn looked at the Latina confused.

She hurriedly walk away from the group and answered her phone.

"Can't resist me eh Lopez?"

"Shut up Puckerman," she snapped.

"What crawled up your ass?" he snapped back. She heard him sigh, "What's up?"

"It's about Berry."

"Everything ok?" the worry resonated clearly in his voice, even through the bad signal.

"Look, I can't talk about it now."

"You're with her aren't you?" he remembered Quinn telling him that they were going shopping and that she was taking Beth with them.

"Yeah, will you be in later?"

"Should be."

"Good, I'll come by after I'm done here."

"Ok. I'll see you later then."

She hung up the phone knowing that he wouldn't care that she hadn't said a proper goodbye and hurried to catch up with the group.

"Who was the S?" Brittany asked innocently.

"Just my mom," Santana lied.

Mercedes eyed her suspiciously but didn't push the matter further.

Having found nothing in the first store they bounced from another store to the next and the one after before finally having coaxed Rachel to at least try some of the clothes on.

"Are you ever coming out of there?" Mercedes called from a seat outside the changing room.

"How the hell am I supposed to mock her clothes if she won't even come out of the changing room?" the Latina huffed.

"I thought some of the shirts were quite cute," Brittany said, a look of hurt across her face.

"Watch Beth," Quinn instructed the Latina knowing that she would murder anyone that dare lay finger on her, "I'm gonna go check on her."

Quinn disappeared around the corner and found the one changing room that still had that door lock, "Rach, you ok?"

Rachel opened the door so that her head was visible and looked at Quinn with watery eyes, "This was a bad idea."

"What's wrong? Why was this a bad idea?"

"I didn't get anything with long sleeves," she sniffled.

"No one's going to care about that Rach, we can look for long sleeves after if you want?"

"Ok."

"So are you going to come out and show us how it looks?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"It fits," her voice wavered.

"That's usually a good thing Rachel," Quinn really didn't get the girl sometimes.

Rachel sighed in defeat and pulled back the door to reveal the clothes she was wearing. The clothes were very simple, a stark contrast from her old wardrobe prior to January. A pair of jeans and a simple pale yellow t-shirt. It was actually quite complimenting, if you were proud of being pregnant, the t-shirt clung in the appropriate places and wasn't too tight around the midsection but was still tight enough that even someone who didn't know Rachel would be able to notice the slight bump she had started to develop.

"Stay there," Quinn instructed, she knew the one way she was going to convince Rachel she looked fine.

Quinn reappeared in the changing room corridor a moment later, "Come out the cubicle Rachel."

Rachel found herself standing in the corridor despite her reluctance.

"Damn it Berry, why you gotta spoil all my fun?" Santana stood with her hands on her hips.

"Erm…" Rachel was confused.

"We're going to have to find you one of those stupid shirts with an animal or something on you seem to like so much, otherwise how the hell am I supposed to mock your bad taste in clothes?"

"Roughly translated, you look good Rach," Quinn smiled at the confused girl.

"Everyone at school is going to know," Rachel said quietly.

"Oh fuck everyone at school," Santana advised her, "who cares what they think Berry? They don't matter."

"I hate to admit it and make her ego bigger than it already is," Quinn grinned at Santana, "but she's right."

"Fuck you Fabray of course I'm right."

Quinn rolled her eyes at the Latina, "Plus with the weather getting hotter you really don't want to be wearing a sweater all the time."

"Q's right, plus I don't wanna have to take your ass to hospital when you pass out from heat cos you were stupid enough to wear a sweater cos you were worried about what everyone else thought."

"Ok, ok," Rachel held her hands up in surrender, "I get the point, you win! Now can I go get changed back into my clothes?"

"Yeah," Quinn laughed.

Santana turned to Quinn and pointed at her forearm and mouthed, "Did she do that?"

Quinn shook her head and whispered, "Not now S, ok?"

Santana nodded in understanding and went back outside to wait with the rest.

"You sure it looked ok?" Rachel reappeared with several hangers over her arm.

"Even Santana couldn't fault it," Quinn pointed out.

Four pairs of jeans, two pairs of loose trousers and a dozen t-shirts later they finally left the store.

"I can't believe they did that," Rachel whined.

"Yeah well sorry Rae, but I'd much deal with you angry than have both of your dads at me," Mercedes apologised.

"I'd enjoy it if I were you," Tina added, "a free shopping spree is hard to come by."

"I wouldn't turn one down that's for sure," said Mercedes.

* * *

Three hours later having accomplished their mission and having generally browsed the shops for all of them, the girls said their goodbyes and went their separate ways.

When they pulled up outside the Berry household none of them were particularly surprised that the front door practically flew of its hinges when Leroy wrenched it open.

"What on earth took so long? Did you buy out the whole mall?" Leroy asked, glad that his daughter had finally returned home. Other than school this was the longest she had been out of the house since January and it had worried him.

Mercedes made her way towards him, her arms ladened with bags, "Just a warning Mr. B, she's going to kill you."

* * *

"I'll come see you later B," Santana said as she waved goodbye before pulling away from Brittany's house.

It was only a short drive to Puck's, well it was the way she drove, but it gave her enough time to solidify her plan.

The Latina knocked on the door, and waiting impatiently for someone to answer it. She was surprised when it was Puck that actually answered the door, she had expected that he'd let him mom or his sister answer it.

"Took you long enough Lopez."

"Yeah well turns out Berry and B shopping together will take away many hours of your life that you're never gonna get back," she said tiredly.

"Come on in, do you want a beer or something?" he offered.

"Thanks, but I'm driving."

"Fair enough," Puck sat on the couch, "so what's up?"

"They've got a date for the hearing," Santana stated simply.

* * *

**Attention:** So what'd you all think? On a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you hate me for how I've ended this chapter? LOL I bet you want to know what the Santana is up to.

Right question for today...

How long a sentence do you reckon Karofsky should get?

I hope you all liked this update and I can't wait to hear your thoughts.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **Ok so this chapter is no where near as long as the last few I've written, but this one was extremely difficult to write. I have no knowledge of the US legal workings and I know nothing about court proceedings so I have literally BS'd my way through this chapter. LOL I hope you're not all going to lynch me for this chapter.

Karofsky gets sentenced and Santana tries to be there for Rachel.

**Warning: **Language (Seriously Santana is one foul-mouthed girl!), mention of violence.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

"You sure you're going to be ok?" Hiram asked Quinn quietly.

"Yeah, we'll be ok," even she didn't believe what she was saying.

Leroy stood by the front door, nervously adjusting and re-adjusting his tie as he stared at his daughter who was sat in the lounge in one of the armchairs.

"I don't know if we should leave her babe," Hiram spoke his fears to his husband.

"Go," Quinn encouraged, "Rachel's going to need someone to tell her that he's where he belongs."

"Come on Hiram," Leroy opened the front door, giving his daughter one last glance before leading his husband to the car.

Quinn watched them from the doorway until their car was no long visible.

* * *

Brittany approached the lunch table, her usually happy features marred with confusion.

"What's up Britt?" Finn asked, sliding along the bench so that she could sit down next to him.

"I can't find S," she sounded like a small child that had lost their mom in a busy mall complex.

"I'm sure she's around somewhere," he tried to console the girl, although he was surprised that she didn't know where Santana was, the two were practically joined at the hip, "maybe she's with Miss Sylvester?"

"I checked," Brittany shook her head, her ponytail almost whipping her in the eye, "she's not with Miss Sylvester."

* * *

Santana sat in her car, drumming her fingers nails along the steering wheel. _Where the hell is he? I swear if he doesn't get his ass here in the next two minutes I'm going without him. _

The passenger door opened and Puck threw himself rather unceremoniously into the seat.

"Took your fucking time," Santana ground out as she started the car.

"I had to get changed," Puck answered as if that explained everything.

"Did anyone see you?"

"Do you think I'd be here if someone had? I'd be too busy trying to explain my way outta why I'm in a damn suit."

"Seriously Puckerman, you took longer to get ready than I did," she reversed out of her spot and headed off towards their destination, "and I'm a girl, so what does that say about you?"

* * *

Mercedes saw Tina approaching before anyone else did, "Hey Tee, where's Artie?"

"He's on his way over to Rachel's," Tina sat next to Mercedes, "I just saw him off in the taxi."

"I hope she's alright," Mercedes worried out loud.

"Have you seen Santana?" Brittany asked Tina.

"Actually I did just see her, and Puck."

"You did?" Brittany's face brightened.

"Yeah they just drove off in Santana's car," Tina said thoughtfully, trying to puzzle out where the two were going in such a hurry.

"Oh you are kidding me?" Mercedes said disbelievingly.

"No, it was really weird. Puck was suited and booted."

Mercedes groaned and put her face in her hands, "This can lead nowhere good."

* * *

Quinn sat in silence, her eyes never leaving Rachel. It seemed that the small girl had entered a state of catatonia the previous night and had no sign of leaving that state any time soon. _Please God help her through this. _Her fingers traced the outline of the cross around her neck, trying to find comfort, a solution, anything that would mean she was better equipped to help Rachel through today. The doorbell drew her from her thoughts.

The blonde was quite surprised when she opened the door, "Artie," she stepped aside so that he could come in, "what are you doing here?"

"I was worried," he answered truthfully, "I couldn't get hold of Rachel so I decided to come see how she's doing."

Quinn ran a hand through her long hair, "It's not good."

"Yeah I didn't think so," he answered sorrowfully, "where is she?"

"She's through there," she pointed to the lounge, "she hasn't said a word since she got home from school yesterday."

Artie rolled himself into the lounge, parking up beside the chair Rachel was lifeless in, "Hey Houdini."

* * *

Puck and Santana were some of the last to enter the courtroom, because of this they ended up sat in one of the back rows.

"All rise," a voice boomed from somewhere they couldn't locate.

The judge appeared behind the bench and the pair along with the Berry's said a silent prayer of thanks that the judge was a woman.

"Please be seated," the judge instructed.

The words that followed after that neither Puck or Santana could tell you, as soon as the judge had called for Karofsky they endured the inner struggle of wanting to launch themselves at him as he was brought to the stand.

"The accused Dave Karofsky has pleaded guilty to one account of rape, I ask the jury to examine the evidence alongside the admission of guilt into serious consideration when the time comes to establish a recommendation of sentencing," the judge addressed the courtroom stonily before inclining her head.

A guy who looked like he hadn't even finished college yet wheeled a TV unit and video player into the courtroom and pressed play. The screen flashed to life with static before Rachel's face appeared on the screen.

"Can you tell me your full name?" a woman's voice floated from the speakers.

"Rachel Barbara Berry," they had never heard her sound so broken, not even when she had screamed at Quinn and inadvertently told the rest of the Glee club what had happened did she sound this broken. Her eyes are downcast, but both Puck and Santana knew the girl was crying, they had seen her that day, it was the day they had gone after Karofsky.

* * *

"What if they let him go?"

Rachel's voice was so quiet that Quinn and Artie almost didn't hear it. If they hadn't been sat silently watching the Glee star they probably would've missed it entirely.

"You can't think like that," Artie's voice was soft.

"Artie's right," Quinn nodded, "they're not going to let him get away with this Rachel, even if he changes his story, there's too much against him for them to let him walk."

"But what if he does?" she couldn't hide her fear, she was adamant that he would turn up on her doorstep later that night, ready to make her pay for what she had done to him.

"He's not going to," Quinn soothed, "once the judge sees the video and the photos, they're going to know that you're telling the truth. They're going to lock him up."

Tears began to fall rapidly, "The video!"

"I'm confused," Artie said, "what video?"

"The police filmed Rachel's statement," Quinn supplied.

"What time is it? We have to stop them," Rachel cried as she reached hysteria.

"It's quarter to three," Artie answered, "stop who? I'm confused again."

"My dads!" Rachel looked at Quinn, words spilling out of her mouth so fast that it put her rants prior to her change to shame: "They'regoingtoseethevideo. Quinnthey'regoingtoknowwhathesaid. They'. They'regoingtofindouteverything!"

* * *

"Mercedes wait up!" Tina shouted as she tried to navigate her way through the bustle of student bodies that were all eagerly rushing to their lockers so they could grab their things and go home.

Mercedes stopped and waited for Tina to catch up.

"Thanks," Tina panted, "are you going to Rachel's?"

"Yeah, I'm going straight there as soon as I've grabbed my things."

"Can I come with you?" Tina asked.

"Yeah, I mean Rae's gonna need all the friends she's got," Mercedes said as she opened her locker.

* * *

"Court is adjourned," the judge announced, "we will reconvene in fifteen minutes."

The courtroom emptied, Hiram and Leroy almost walked past Santana and Puck. They only realised they were there by chance. Puck and Santana followed the two men out of the room.

"What are you two doing here?" Leroy fired at them, "What aren't you at school?"

"We wanted to be here," Puck answered, "for Rachel."

"Rachel's not here," Hiram said kindly, appreciating the gesture the two teenagers were trying to make.

"We know," Santana told the Berry's, "but we're still here for her."

* * *

Quinn found herself opening the door again, this time she knew who to expect, "Hey Mercedes," but she hadn't expected the addition of the two other girls.

"I need to talk to you," Mercedes said pointedly to Quinn.

"I can see that," Quinn stuck her head round the lounge door, "Artie do you want a drink?" she hoped he understood what she had really wanted to say but couldn't without upsetting Rachel.

Artie nodded, "Coffee would be great, black no sugar."

"Ok, I'll be back in a minute."

"Go on through guys, do you want a drink or anything?" Quinn asked.

"No thanks Quinn," Tina answered.

"I'm ok Q, thank you," Brittany smiled sweetly.

Quinn followed Mercedes through to the kitchen.

"How's she doing?" Mercedes asked reluctantly.

The young mother sighed, "There's not good and then there's Rachel."

"Has she said anything at all?"

"She thinks Karofsky's going to walk," Quinn decided the cliff notes were easier to deal with right now, "she thinks he's coming back to get her."

"That's not going to happen," Mercedes said firmly, "even if the judge was a moron and let him walk, he wouldn't be able to get with a hundred yards of her."

"I know," Quinn said sadly, she knew that every member of Glee would rip Karofsky to shreds if they ever saw him anywhere close to being near to Rachel, "now, why are Tina and Brittany in the lounge? Tina I understand, I mean her boyfriend's here after all but Brittany?"

"Yeah that's what I needed to talk to you about," Mercedes said awkwardly, "You're not going to believe where Santana and your baby daddy are."

"Oh dear God please tell me you're joking?" Mercedes shook her head, "If he doesn't get his ass arrested I'm actually going to kill him."

* * *

Puck and Santana found themselves sat in the front row of the courtroom beside Hiram and Leroy waiting anxiously for the outcome.

"He the jury reached a decision?" the judge question.

"We have your honour," the foremen responded.

"Very well, what is it the jury recommends?"

"For the crimes of rape and GBH the jury recommends that Dave Karofsky serve a sentence at the state penitentiary of ten years w-"

The foreman's words where cut short when Puck jumped from his seat, "THIS IS BULLSHIT!"

"Young man, sit down!" the judge ordered.

"No he's right," Santana yelled as she stood beside Puck, "he only gets ten fucking years when Rachel's gotta deal with this every day for the rest of her life?"

"Sit down both of you," the judge yelled, slowly turning red in the face, "before I have you both held for contempt in my courtroom!"

* * *

Brittany ran to open the front door as soon as she had seen the cars pull up in the driveway, "They're back!"

The four of them trudged up the path to the doorway, each of them wearing a mask of defeat, all of them shocked with disbelief.

Mercedes waited by the front door with Brittany, "How'd it go?" she asked tentatively. Leroy looked at her mournfully through puffy eyes, his features worn and tired. "Please don't tell me he walked," Mercedes begged.

"He might as well have walked," Puck muttered as he entered the house.

Quinn marched up to the father of her daughter and punched in the arm, "Idiot," she flung her arms around him and clung to him desperately, "why don't you get that Beth needs you, I need you, I can't do this alone."

"I'm sorry," Puck whispered into her hair, "I'm here now."

"Where's Beth?" Quinn asked, showing her everyone there what her true vulnerability was.

"She's ok," Puck reassured her, "Mom picked her up from the sitters, she's going to watch her until I get back."

Rachel watched helplessly, Puck's words echoing in her head _"He might as well have walked." _There were too many people, the room wasn't big enough, there wasn't enough air. "I'm going to go lie down," she announced, shocking everyone.

"Rae don't you want to know-"

Leroy didn't get a chance to finish the question, Rachel just snapped at him, "No!"

Everyone was stunned into silence, with the exception of Artie and Quinn, none of them had heard her utter a word since the day before.

* * *

Twenty-five minutes later the lounge erupted with noise, the group cried together, shouted through their anger, screamed through their disbelief of the injustice that Rachel had been served. Everyone was so busy trying to comprehend the sentence Karofsky had been given, occupied with seeking comfort in each in that they didn't notice a certain Latina Cheerio slip out of the room and up the stairs. She stood in the doorway of Rachel's room to find it empty, the bed look undisturbed, the en suite door was open revealing it to be empty. Her eyes scanned every inch of the room searching for a hiding place that she could've missed, she let out a long sigh when she finally noticed the window was wide open. _Not again._ She stuck her head out of the window to see if there was a way Rachel could've climbed down to the ground and disappear on them again. She clambered out of the window and carefully slid down the porch roof until she was sat next to Rachel.

"Christ Berry if you keep pulling stunts like this I'm going to fit you with a GPS tracker," she deadpanned.

"I needed some air," Rachel said simply.

"And of course the best place to get air would be on a roof, you know normal people would just step outside right?"

"Someone would've come out with me," she glanced at the Latina, "apparently they do even if I go out on a roof."

"Yeah well I'm a nosey bitch," Santana shrugged.

"You went," it wasn't a question.

"Yeah," Santana answered any way, "I got suspended for you, thought I'd have a go at getting arrested for you."

"Arrested?" Rachel's voice reached decibels that dogs could hear.

"Yeah," Santana smirked.

"What the hell for?"

"Contempt in court," Santana let out a short laugh, "apparently telling the judge she's a fucking idiot isn't something you should do in court."

"Probably not the best idea," she admitted.

The two sat in silence, both a mirror image of each other in their body language. Both sat slumped, knees drawn close to their bodies, arms wrapped around their legs, chins resting on knees.

"The whole thing?" Rachel asked nervously.

"Yeah," Santana said sadly.

"You saw…"

"We saw," _Why the hell do I put myself through this shit?_ "it's not your fault you know? He's a douche, I mean he's a complete and utter shit-eating bastard. What he said to you…it's all shit."

"God this is so fucked up!"

"It really is," Santana agreed, "just as well you weren't normal to start with."

"Did he walk? Puck said something about him walking."

"Puck's been spending too much time with you," the Latina quipped, "he's turning into a drama queen."

"How long?"

"Not long enough."

"Santana," her voice carried her need to know, "please?"

"Ten years," the Cheerio clenched her fists, "he might get parole in seven. They put him on the…list as well."

"Ok," Rachel muttered.

"Ok? That is anything but ok, the bastard should be hung by his bollocks and stabbed repeatedly," Santana couldn't restrain the anger.

Rachel didn't answer, she had no idea what her response should be to the sudden outburst from McKinley's resident bitch.

"Sorry," Santana muttered sheepishly, "so…you going to go back inside willingly or am I going to have to throw your ass through the window?"

"Do we have to go in?"

"Family's worried about you."

"I don't think I can face my dads," she admitted, "they're going to be blaming themselves so much."

"They'll work through it. But what about the rest of the family? They're really worried about you."

Rachel was about to ask who the rest of the family were when she remembered what Santana had said to her about team being family.

"Can't we stay a few more minutes?"

"They're going to notice I'm not there in a minute and come looking for me, I don't care if they catch me on the roof," Santana argued logic with the small girl, "but I can imagine a few of them strangling you if they knew you were out on the roof.

"If I go in now," Rachel didn't want to loose her new found place of escape, "you're not going to tell them I was out here are you?"

Santana smiled wickedly, "Not today I won't."

* * *

**Attention:** So what'd you think? Someone suggested trying use Santana towards Rachel's recovery an I thought I'd have a go at it.

So Santana and Rachel friendship? Does it work or should I leave it as is?

Also I have some ideas that I'd really like to talk to someone about, just so I have someone to bounce ideas around with and for someone to say don't be so fucking stupid or actually you know what they sounds like it could work. The only downside is that it would be spoiler central for whoever did decide to help, also I would be asking that you (whoever) didn't discuss the ideas with other people. So yeah if this sounds like something you like to do then PM you on here or send me your email address or something along those lines.

I look forward to hearing what people of thought of this chapter - it really drove me nuts!


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **Right then, finally got an update for you all. Apparently even I need to sleep every once in a while. Hope you enjoy this, wasn't quite sure on it to start with. Before I get any further a big thanks to** chunkmunk09** this chapter probably would've got scrapped it not for you help so cheers for that mate! Right so here goes - Santana gives Rachel some much needed advice.

**Warning: **Language (Seriously Santana is one foul-mouthed girl!), mention of violence.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

**Tuesday**

Santana stood at the bottom of the pathway, staring at the girl on the roof. She contemplated shouting out to her but thought better of it; she didn't want to make the jump (for once) in case she fell off the roof. She let out a sigh; she was going to have to deal with Rachel's parents. She didn't have a problem with the Berry's, it was just something she hated dealing with in general, she just hated spending time with other people's parents.

Rachel was lost in her thoughts, trying to puzzle everything out. She briefly wondered why she had never considered the roof as a place to think before, but realised that she had actually enjoyed the repetitive movement of the swings. Her head was rested on her knees, her eyes screwed shut as she tried to understand what she was feeling. The breeze was nice, it gave her some relief from the thickness of her sweatshirt.

The Latina soon found herself repeating the movements she had made five days ago, as she climbed out of the bedroom window and shimmied down the roof until she was sat beside Rachel.

"Your dad let me in," Santana said by way of greeting.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel snapped.

"Hello to you too," Santana ignored the bite in the diva's words, "I came to check on you."

"Why? What's it to you?"

"Look Berry, I know you feel like shit but taking it on everyone isn't going to help," the Latina shot back, desperately trying not to resort to insulting the girl like she used to.

"I'm not taking it out on everyone," her insecurities got the best of her, "am I?"

"A little bit yeah." Santana rolled her neck, relishing the way the vertebrae all clicked together, "You're so shut off, you have been ever since Wednesday, you've hardly said two words to anyone. People are worried about you."

"Oh."

"Believe me when I say I don't miss your verbal diarrhea, I seriously don't but you need to talk to someone, it's like you've taken a vow of silence or some stupid shit like that."

"I'm seeing a councilor," Rachel supplied, hoping that would get the Cheerio off of her back.

"That's not what I mean and you know it," she could feel this was going to go nowhere fast, so she cut to the chase, "you've stopped talking to everyone, including Q."

"I don't need to tell everyone my problems, nor do they need my problems, they've got their own issues to deal with. I'm fine."

Santana nodded, she figured out what the small girl had been attempting to do, "Stop trying to be ok when you're not. No one expects you to magically be all better cos the dickhead is behind bars, hopefully with a big tattooed man named Bubba."

"Bubba?" Rachel finally lifted her head from her knees and looked at Santana with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah well sometime clichés are fun," she shrugged her shoulders, "seriously Berry, do what you gotta do I don't care what it is, scream if you gotta scream, cry if you gotta cry, punch someone if you gotta, just don't punch me or I'll punch you back."

"Duly noted."

"And if you gotta cry then seriously don't do that to me, I hate it when girls cry," Santana admitted, "just stop pushing everyone away. It's ok to need people."

"This coming from the famous Santana Lopez?" Rachel attempted a smirk.

"Hey I got Britt, tell anyone I need her and I'll kill you," she nudged Rachel gently, "whether you like it or not, you need Q, I don't understand it and I don't really want to cos that will probably lead to years of extensive therapy that will never repair the damage."

"I don't need Quinn," the starlet tried to defend herself.

"Oh who you trying to fool?" The Latina asked incredulously, "Even I can see it, whatever it is bout Q, she's got something that seems to make all this shit easier for you. So suck it up, stop being a stubborn ass and let her help you."

"She's got enough to deal with, she has Beth," even to Rachel her excuses sounded feeble.

"Do you think she'd be there for you if she couldn't or didn't want to? Look, she's worried about you ok? I think she's kinda gotten used to you talking to her and stuff, and now you've just shut her out. You've got a good friend in Quinn, believe me, don't be stupid and fuck that up."

"Since when did you start staying stuff that makes sense?" Rachel graced Santana with a small smile, "Why are you trying to help me?"

"Brittany misses your singing, to be honest so do I. This solo shit was always your deal, I don't mind it every now and then but I've had enough now," Santana leant back so that she was propped up with her elbows so she could bask in the receding sunlight, "B seems to think singing is your way of dealing."

"It was," Rachel admitted.

"It still is, you just need to realise that. Rachel no one will ever take your voice away from you unless you let them."

Rachel was taken back by the kindness in Santana's words, she was too used to the bitchy names and cold snide remarks.

"That was weird," Rachel said simply.

"What was?" the Latina's brow furrowed in confusion.

"You called me Rachel."

"Your right that is weird, how about I stick to calling you Berry?"

"I'd like that."

"Good."

"So Berry," she said the name pointedly, "what are you doing after Glee tomorrow?"

"I'm coming home and doing homework."

"Not any more you're not."

"Ok…so what am I doing?"

"Before I tell you what you're doing after school, I'm gonna tell you what you're going to do at school."

"Erm…"

"You dragged my ass shopping for more than three hours the other day and you've not worn a damn thing you bought! So when you come in to school tomorrow I best not see you wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. Well ok I'll let you have the jeans seeing as you bought some new ones but I mean it when I say no fucking sweatshirt," Santana instructed.

"But everyone w-" Rachel didn't even get to finish her sentence.

"Fuck everyone else! Berry even I couldn't rip you to shreds for the stuff you got. I hate that I'm saying this, I hope you realise this is causing me actual physical pain, but you looked alright." The Latina shook her head, "So what if everyone knows you're pregnant? What the hell they going to do about it? Jack shit that's what! If anyone says anything to you, I'll rip their fucking throat out got it?"

Rachel shrunk back from the Cheerios words, "Have I ever told you that you're a rather intimidating person?"

"You have no idea," the Latina boasted proudly, "So you're wearing what tomorrow?"

Rachel bit her lip nervously, "Jeans and a t-shirt," even the old Rachel wouldn't argue with this side of Santana Lopez, the girl was damn right scary.

"Good," Santana nodded her head, proud of herself for making progress.

"I'm afraid to ask but what am I doing after Glee?" Rachel's words were hesitant.

"You Berry, are gonna come with me, Britt and Q to take Beth to the pond and feed the ducks," Santana said without doubt.

"Ok that I wasn't expecting," Rachel admitted, "I never really saw you as the let's take the baby to feed the ducks type."

"I'm not, I don't think Beth really cares whether we take her to feed the ducks or not," Santana laughed, "she'll probably sleep through the entire thing anyways. B likes the ducks."

Rachel bit back on the aww that she so desperately wanted to voice, knowing that she would only provoke the Latina into assaulting her in some way or another. "Ok," she agreed, there was no point arguing when she knew she would only lose.

"Good."

"What am I going to say to her?"

"You don't need to say anything," Santana knew what the pint sized diva was worried about, "just talk to her like none of this ever happened, you wanna make it up to her, do it when there's no one else there. She'll appreciate it more."

"How though? I didn't mean to push her away, what if I end up making things worse?"

"You talk to Q about the stuff you don't talk to anyone else about," she noticed Rachel's panicked expression, "don't worry she's not said anything, Q wouldn't do that."

"Then how do you know…"

"Because everyone's seen how much more relaxed you are with her around, she's the one person you don't seem to want to run away screaming from," Santana said simply, "I didn't realise at first, but B, she's good with people, she said that Quinn made things better for you and that you seemed better when she was around, I figured it was because she's the one person you can talk to."

"Guess Brittany's not as stupid as she lets people think she is," Rachel's voice was warm as she thought about the ditzy blonde.

"She really isn't. You want things to be ok with Q, just start talking to her again. Simple as."

"I hope so," Rachel wasn't quite convinced.

"It is trust me, I've known Q since we were tiny kids, she's not as evil as everyone thinks she is. You just have to know her." She pulled herself back up so she was sitting. "So we done with all this touchy-feely bullshit?"

"Yeah," Rachel chuckled lightly.

"So does that mean I can finally get your ass off the roof?"

"Ok," Rachel stretched and made to start towards going back inside the house when she stopped suddenly and turned to face the Latina, "Santana I…thank you."

"Don't mention it," Santana replied, "and I mean that, don't mention it. Ever."

* * *

**Attention:** Right so I hope you liked how this chapter turned out. It seems like a lot of people liked the Rachel/Santana friendship so I thought I'd play with it a little more and this is what happened LOL

Also a **BIG** thank you to everyone who responded to me with emails and PMs in regards to my cry for help. It is very much appreciated, I got a much bigger response than I had initially thought I'd get (I didn't think I'd get any to be honest) so if I haven't replied to you yet, I'm not ignoring you I promise, I'm just sorting through everyone and replying LOL

Erm...so what does everyone think of a little bit of light heartedness? Be a nice break right?

Look forward to hearing what everyone thinks. Please review - seriously keeps me going.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **Thought maybe I should have a little break from all the drama, and this is the result. Still has a little bit of angst in there but it's like the tiniest sprinkling in comparison to everything else I've written so far LOL Hope you enjoy it.

******Warning: **Language 

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

Brittany bounced along the busy corridors of McKinley high until she reached Rachel's locker.

"Hi Rachel," she beamed, "S says you're going to come feed the ducks with us."

"I am indeed," Rachel replied as she put away the books she no longer needed.

"Yay," Brittany clapped, "I can't wait." She waited for Rachel to shut her locker and furrowed her brow when she saw that the small girl held a binder in front of her stomach. "Why are you doing that?"

"What?" Rachel asked genuinely confused, she wasn't aware she was doing anything.

"That," the blonde Cheerio reached out and took the binder from the slim tan hands, "why are you trying to hide?"

"I…" Rachel hung her head, she didn't know what to say.

"You shouldn't hide you know," Brittany linked her arm with Rachel's, "you look good. Is that the stuff you bought when we went shopping?"

Rachel blushed from the compliment, "Yeah it is."

"I like it," Brittany smiled, "I didn't get to see it when you tried it on, but S said you looked nice and she's usually right."

"Thanks." Rachel's stomach let out a low rumble.

"Come on," Brittany said cheerily, "let's go get some lunch.

The pair walked through the halls to the cafeteria, Rachel trying to ignore the whispering as people noticed the slight bump, Brittany acting as though she was completely oblivious to the whispers.

"I don't think I'm hungry any more," Rachel said quietly to Brittany.

"Don't be silly," Brittany placed her free hand over Rachel's elbow, securing the girl to her side, "you're starving."

"I don't think I can go in there," she said panicked as they stood outside the cafeteria.

"Come on," Brittany gently tugged Rachel through the doors, "everyone's waiting for us."

They joined Santana in the queue.

"Hey S," Brittany smiled happily at her friend.

"Hey Britt, Berry."

"Rachel didn't want to come to lunch," Brittany pouted, "she was trying to hide behind a folder."

"Why?" Santana asked even though she already knew the answer.

"I don't think I'm ready for this," Rachel whispered.

"Bullshit," Santana called her on the lie, she knew why the singer didn't want to be there, or where people were in general but she refused to let the girl hide.

"S that's rude!" Brittany scolded.

Santana shrugged, and went back to looking at what was good to eat, which in all honesty wasn't a lot but then again what would you expect from a school cafeteria?

Trays now carrying food, the three girls headed towards the table where the rest of the Gleeks were sat. Rachel's face burned as the whispers and stares seem to grow.

Santana rounded on an unsuspecting starer that had got to close, "What the fuck you staring at?" the girl who Santana didn't even recognise shrunk back from the Latina's words, "Well?" she demanded before rounding on everyone that was now staring at the situation that was unfolding in front of them, "That goes for all you, keep your eyes in your own fucking head if you want to go on seeing," the Cheerio yelled. Heads snapped back to focus on lunch trays, clapping erupted from the Glee table as the three girls went to sit down.

"Thank you," Rachel whispered.

"Whatevs," Santana replied, "someone needed to tell them where to go."

"You ok?" Quinn asked Rachel quietly. Rachel nodded in response.

"Q Rachel's coming to feed the ducks with us," Brittany chirped.

"Is she?" Quinn looked at Rachel questioningly, this was the first she'd heard of it.

"She is," Santana confirmed.

Quinn smiled, "Did you even give her a say in the matter?"

"I have no idea what you're on about Q," Santana feigned innocence.

"Of course you don't S," Quinn rolled her eyes.

"You look good Rae, what made you finally start wearing the new clothes?" Mercedes asked.

"Nothing," Rachel answered a little too hastily, "just…realised I spent the money on them so I should probably wear them," _Wow when did I get so bad at lying?_ "that and it's getting too warm for a sweatshirt."

Quinn eyed Santana across the table, silently questioning her over what she had said to Rachel, Santana just smirked in response and continued eating her lunch.

"Are you coming to feed the ducks after Glee Mercedes?" Rachel asked.

"Nah, I'm sitting this one out, gonna spend time with Kurt," she smiled towards the boy she had once had a crush on.

"Damn right you are! I feel the need for a good pampering session," Kurt said inspecting his nails, "I'm thinking mani, pedi and full facial."

"Sounds good to me," Mercedes laughed, she'd missed having girl time with Kurt.

"Is Rachel meeting us at the pond S?" Brittany asked innocently.

_Shit, didn't think about that bit._ "I don't know B," Santana looked at Rachel, "are you ok making your own way there Berry?"

"Erm…" Rachel thought it through, it was a fair walk from school but she didn't really fancy taking the bus either.

"You could come with me to pick up Beth from the sitters and we could walk together from there if you wanted to Rach?" Quinn suggested.

"Excellent," Santana nodded her head, "see B, Berry's gonna go with Q and meet us there."

"Is that ok with you Rach?" Quinn asked.

"Yeah," Rachel nodded, "that's fine with me."

They spent the rest of the lunch talking about inane things, classes they really couldn't be bothered with, homework and the fact that there was far too much of it in preparation for their senior year, Glee and the weeks task.

* * *

Rachel sat in Glee practice, thoughts focused on what she could possibly say to Quinn when they made their way to the pond to meet Santana and Brittany. She let the voices of the rest of the Glee performers wash over her and relished the music, she wanted to join them so much, she just didn't know how to, so she just sat there her lips forming the words silently as she watched the group perform. She didn't want to leave Glee, Santana was right, team was family, she just hadn't figured out where she fit in the family anymore.

"That's great guys," Mr. Schue praised the group, "keep it up."

The group smiled at each other, for the first time in weeks they were finally back on top. Mr. Schue dismissed them all and the group all said their goodbyes and went their own ways.

"You ready to leave?" Mercedes asked Quinn and Rachel.

"I just need to get something from my locker," Rachel said, needing a few more moments to figure out what to say, "I'll meet you guys at the car ok?"

"Ok," Quinn smiled.

Brittany bounced over to the trio to say her goodbyes, "See you guys at the pond."

"See you there B," Quinn hugged the taller blonde.

"Bye Rachel," Brittany waved as she hurried off to Santana before Rachel even had a chance to acknowledge her.

Quinn and Mercedes headed out to the parking lot leaving Rachel in the room with Mr. Schue.

"You ok Rachel?" Mr. Schue asked, concern in her voice.

"I'm ok Mr. Schue," Rachel answered, "I was just thinking."

"I saw you today."

"I was here Mr. Schue, it would be a perfectly logical notion that you've seen me today," Rachel answered.

He smiled warmly at her, this was a little piece of the Rachel Berry he knew, "No Rachel, I saw you when everyone else was singing."

"Oh," Rachel blushed, she hadn't realised anyone had been watching her.

"It was nice," he admitted, "to see you that you still enjoy music."

"I like listening to everyone sing," Rachel said quietly, "it's…" she struggled for a word to explain why she enjoyed listening to the group so much but failed and settled, "relaxing."

"That's good."

"I'd better get going," she stood and grabbed her bag, "bye Mr. Schue."

"Bye Rachel," he watched the girl leave the room, pride filling him. _Perhaps there's hope yet.

* * *

_

"Sorry I took so long," Rachel apologised as she climbed into the backseat of the car.

"No worries," Mercedes said as she started the car and began to reverse out of her space.

"I've never been any good at this," Rachel said, making idle conversation.

"What's that?" Mercedes eyed the girl in her review.

"Reversing," she said simply, "I always seem to get it wrong."

"So that's why you were always last to leave the lot when you had your dads car?" Mercedes laughed.

"Yeah," Rachel laughed, "driving is the one thing I've never been able to get perfect. It's rather frustrating and incredibly annoying."

"You can't be perfect at everything," Quinn laughed, "you've got to have a flaw somewhere."

The journey was relatively quick, and before Rachel realised it they were pulling up outside the sitters.

"You want me to come pick you up later?" Mercedes asked.

"No thanks," Quinn answered, "you should go spend time with Kurt."

"You sure? I don't mind coming to pick you up later."

"I know, but it's a nice day, a walk will do me some good."

"Ok," she reached across the car and gave the blond a hug, "I'll see you at home then."

"Yeah I'll see you at home," Quinn no longer felt odd referring to the Jones' house as her home, she had felt more at home there in the last few months than she had ever felt at her 'real' home in the sixteen years she had lived there.

"I'll see you tomorrow Rae," Mercedes promised.

"Bye Mercedes," Rachel said as she clambered out of the car.

They watched Mercedes drive off before Quinn turned and started towards the front door.

"You coming Rach?" she called behind her when she realised that Rachel hadn't followed her.

"I'll wait here," Rachel didn't like the idea of dealing with a new person right now, "if that's ok with you?"

"Ok," Quinn turned to hide the look of worry that spread across her features and knocked on the door.

A woman in her late forties answered the door, "Hiya Quinn."

"Hi, is she ready to go?"

"Yeah," the woman brought the pram forward, Beth strapped inside snoring lightly.

"She been ok today?"

"No problem at all," the woman smiled.

"Lucky you," Quinn looked down at her daughter and smiled lovingly, "I swear she's good as gold for you and saves all the trouble for me."

"Always the way," the woman chuckled, "I'll see you in the morning?"

"Yeah thank you," Quinn pushed the pram out the door onto the path, "we'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye Quinn, bye bye Beth," the woman smiled at them before closing the door.

"You ready?" Quinn asked as she came up beside Rachel.

"Yeah," Rachel fell into step alongside the pram, her eyes focused on the sleeping form of Beth. "Quinn," she started as she tried to find the right words to say, "the last few days, I…"

"Don't worry about it Rachel," Quinn knew what the girl was trying to saying, "it doesn't matter."

"I didn't mean to worry you," Rachel said sheepishly.

"I'll always worry, it's what I'm good at," Quinn comforted, "ask S, I worry about her all the time, then again if she didn't do half the stupid shit she does I probably wouldn't have to."

"You're really good friends aren't you?"

"Yeah we are," she didn't know why but for some reason she felt like she should go on, "we just get each other you know?"

"Yeah," Rachel understood perfectly, "I think that's why I get on with Artie so well."

"She came to see you didn't she?" the blonde knew the answer.

"Yeah, last night," the diva stuck her hands in her pockets, "she came to talk to me."

"Was she at least nice to you?" she begged the answer would be yes.

"Actually," Rachel thought about everything the Latina had said to her, "she was. She said a lot of things that made sense."

"S made sense?" Quinn laughed, "Well there's something that doesn't happen every day."

"It was rather unsettling, she said a lot of things I think I needed. It was…helpful."

"Ok, now you're just trying to freak me out."

"Now if I was going to freak you," Rachel smiled as she thought about the moment of awkwardness she had shared with the Cheerio, "I'd tell you that she called me Rachel."

"See now I know you're lying to me," Quinn glanced at Rachel from the corner of her eye.

"I'm not," Rachel said indignantly, "I swear to God she called me Rachel. It was weird."

"I can only imagine."

"Besides which," Quinn knew what was about to come, "Quinn Fabray, I do not lie. It's not good for the soul and I for one would most certainly not lie about something as seriously disturbing as Santana Lopez calling me by my actual birth given name."

Quinn laughed so much she had to stop walking, "You are too much. Do you have any idea how easy it is to wind you up Rach?"

"You were winding me up?" Rachel puzzled, "Quinn that's not very nice!"

"I know," Quinn smiled as she started walking again, "but you're just so fun to play with."

"I am not a toy!" Rachel huffed.

"I never said you were a toy," Quinn corrected, "I just said you were fun to play with. You can play with people too you know? It's a thing that friends do, play with each other."

"Oh," Rachel could feel her cheeks blushing, "I must've missed the memo on that one."

"I'll make sure you get the next one."

As they walked the path that led to the pond they could hear that Brittany and Santana had arrived before them.

"B, save some of the bread for when Beth gets here," Santana mock scolded.

"Ok," Brittany's pout sounded in her voice.

"Hey guys," Quinn called, "S let her feed the ducks."

"Yay," Brittany ran over and hugged Quinn, "thank you!" she cried before running back to the ponds edge.

"She really does like feeding the ducks a little too much don't you think?" Rachel asked Quinn quietly.

"Yeah well we come here more for Britt and than Beth," she smiled, "she just loves ducks."

"Hey Q," Santana walked over towards Quinn and Rachel, "Berry. You took your sweet ass time getting here."

"Yeah well," Quinn grinned mischievously at her best friend, "Rachel told me something rather funny about you that I had to stop walking from laughing so hard."

Santana's eyes narrowed, "What'd you tell her Berry?" her tone harsh.

Rachel spluttered and stammered, "I…I…"

Quinn and Santana began laughing, "Cool it Berry, I was joking," she turned to Quinn, "she really is easy to fool with isn't she?"

"She really is," Quinn said in between laughter.

"Seriously though," Santana looked at Quinn, "what'd she say that was so funny you had to stop?"

"You actually called her Rachel," she said incredulously an eyebrow quirked.

"That," Santana looked at Rachel, "you had to tell her that didn't you? Do you have any idea how much harder I'm gonna have to work to keep this bitch in check now?"

"Ordinarily I would apologise for my social faux pas but given that you just referred to Quinn as a female dog I think I am justified in not doing so," Rachel stuck her tongue out playfully.

"S come feed the ducks with me," Brittany shouted.

"You should count yourself lucky Berry," Santana joked before joining Brittany at the edge of the pond.

"She likes you," Quinn said simply, "I can't remember the last person S took a liking to that wasn't Britt."

"Then I am truly privileged," Rachel said sincerely.

"Come on," Quinn tugged at Rachel's hand, "let's go feed the ducks."

* * *

**Attention:** Ok so what'd you think? Did it work? Was it a nice break from all the drama?

Shall I ease up on Rachel or should I return to my constant abuse of the poor girl? LOL

I look forward to hearing what you think of this chapter, it was surprisingly fun to write. Gotta love Brittany.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **Artie has a crazy idea and can Rachel get back something she's lost?

******Warning: **Don't think there's anything this time 

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

**Monday**

The Glee kids sat at the table eating lunch, everyone was there except for one person.

"Has anyone seen Rachel?" Quinn asked.

"I haven't seen her since class this morning," Mike answered.

"You don't think she's gone for a wander again do you?" Mercedes questioned, her voice tainted ever so slightly with worry.

"No," Quinn chewed on her bottom lip, "I don't think she'd do that again."

"I'll go check the auditorium," Artie said, backing away from the table before anyone could argue.

"You sure Artie?" Quinn questioned, fighting the urge to tell him she'd do it herself.

"Yeah," Artie threw over his shoulder as he wheeled away from the group.

"He'll be fine Q," Santana could see how much Quinn wanted to follow after him, "if he can't find her he'll let us know."

"I know," Quinn sighed, "what if she's not there though?"

"She'll be there," Santana hated how much her friend worried, she did it too often and too much, "just relax. She's ok I promise." Quinn looked at her disbelievingly, "You know what I mean Fabray, she's still here."

* * *

Outside the auditorium Artie could hear the piano, he let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. He waited a few moments to see if the playing would continue long enough for him to open the door, when he realised that the song was going to play until the end he opened the door and wheeled inside and closed the door quietly.

He sat watching as Rachel's fingers glided over the keys, playing a song he wasn't quite sure he knew but at the same time recognised. _Maybe I heard it at Tina's._ He listened intently, only just hearing Rachel singing the words softly under her breath. He felt cruel for intruding on Rachel when she was playing one of the songs he knew was personal to her, he couldn't continue eavesdropping so he made his way over to the piano.

"Hey Houdini," he greeted kindly, "what you playing?

Rachel's hands froze, "Artie…how long have you been here?"

"Not very long," Artie admitted, "it sounded good. I didn't realise you could play piano."

"Daddy taught me when I was little," she smiled at the memory, "we used to play for a little while every night."

"He taught you well," Artie smiled at the obvious love she had for her fathers, "what are the lyrics for the song?"

"I have it on my iPod," Rachel reached into her bag and pulled out the item, "if you wanted to listen to the lyrics?"

"Sure," he took the iPod from Rachel, knowing not to push her into singing for him. He listened carefully to the lyrics and realised how much of a private song he had heard Rachel play, "Wow…this is one of your songs isn't it?"

"Well I didn't write it or anything like that…but yeah."

"Thank you," Artie said sincerely.

"What for?"

"For letting me listen to it," he smiled at her, "you coming come to lunch? Everyone's wondering where you are."

"Oh God," a hand went to her face, "I didn't think, I just…I wanted to play and…they all think I've disappeared again don't they?"

"No of course they," he could see the disbelief in her eyes, "ok, well maybe a little bit."

* * *

**Tuesday**

"Houdini," Artie approached the lunch table, glad to find Rachel sat at the end, "what are you doing after school?"

"Nothing much," Rachel admitted, "why?"

"I found something I think you should see."

"Ok," she looked at him intrigued, "I'll need to see if my Dad can pick me up but I think it should be ok."

"Great," Artie smiled at her, his plan slowly falling into place, "meet me in the auditorium after class ok?"

"Ok," she smiled at him, wondering what on earth it was that Artie had up his sleeve.

"Rae," Mercedes called having overheard the conversation, "we've I gotta go to the library for some books, I could hang around for you and drop you off?"

"Are you sure? What about Quinn and Beth?"

"I'm library bound," Quinn interrupted, "I need to catch up on some stuff and Puck has Beth this week."

"Did you plan this?" Rachel asked Artie.

"No, I've not told anyone about this," he answered honestly, "you two really are library bound right? You're not going to tag along?"

"I might now," Mercedes said, "you can't say something like that to me and not expect me to not want to know what's going on."

Quinn eyed Artie for a moment, knowing that Rachel would be fine left alone with him she came to his rescue, "You're coming with me, you promised you'd catch me up with chem."

"Damn it," Mercedes face fell, she would never break a promise if she could avoid it, "I did didn't I? Guess I am library bound after all, you're safe for now Artie."

"Hey Artie," Rachel greeted as she entered the auditorium, "sorry I'm late."

"Hey," Artie answered.

"So what do you want to show me?" Rachel asked, slightly confused as to what Artie was doing with the guitar.

"Ok just promise me you won't be mad," he mumbled, "and that you'll at least hear me out."

"Artie why would I be mad?"

"Just promise me," he pleaded.

"Ok," Rachel said reluctantly, "I promise, but I'd like to point out for future reference that I don't like making promises when I don't fully understand what's going on."

"Ok," he nodded, making a silent vow to himself not to make her promise again without fully explaining what was going on, "so I did some thinking last night and I ended up online and I found this…" he started playing the guitar, the opening for the song filling the room.

Rachel stared at him in utter bewilderment, "That's the song I was playing yesterday…"

"Yeah it is," Artie stopped playing and placed the guitar back on it's stand, "now this is the part where I need you to hear me out."

"I'm listening," she promised him.

"I have this crazy idea."

* * *

**Thursday** **night via text message.**

I'm having second thoughts. Rachel x

Why?

I don't know if I can do this. X

Of course you can do this, why would you be able to?

I've never shared one of my songs before. X

Well there's always a first time for everything.

What if they laugh at me?

Rachel why would they?

I don't know, but what if they do?

They won't I promise.

…

Remember what S said to you?

No one can take it away. Unless I let them.

Exactly. No one will laugh at you either.

Ok. You're right. Just nerves.

Exactly. Plus if anyone upsets you cos of it I'll run over their toes. ;P

Thanks Artie.

No probs Houdini. See you tomorrow.

* * *

**Friday**

"Right guys," Mr. Schue addressed the Glee club, "I know it's been a long week and everyone wants to go home but that doesn't mean we can start slacking off."

"Mr. Schue?" Artie raised his hand.

"What's up Artie?"

"I was wondering if maybe I could start off with something I've been working on this week?" he asked tentatively.

"I didn't know you were working on something Artie?" Mr. Schue was surprised, he hadn't set an assignment this week and Artie wasn't usually one he'd expect to volunteer themselves for the spotlight.

"I know," Artie had to convince him, "it's just something that I would really like to share with the group."

"Ok then, the floor is all yours." Mr. Schue took a seat to the side.

Artie's eyes scanned the group, until they came to rest on Matt, "Matt could you put a stool in the middle for me please?"

"Sure," Matt did as he was asked, although he couldn't quite fathom out what Artie would need a stool for, it wasn't as though he was going to need it. He picked up the guitar and positioned it so he was comfortable playing and then nodded to Brad the pianist to start playing before counting himself in. He played the intro that little bit longer like they had agreed.

**_"One night to you,_**

**_lasted six weeks for me."_**

The group looked around confused, the voice was soft and gentle, definitely not Artie's. They hardly recognised it.

**_"Just a bitter little pill now,_**

**_just to try to go to sleep."_**

It took them all a moment to locate the voice.

**_"No more waking up to innocence,_**

**_say hello to hesitance_**

**_to everyone I meet._**

**_Thanks to you years ago,_**

**_I'll guess I'll never know_**

**_What love means to me but oh."_**

Rachel stood from her seat and made her way to the stool, her eyes focused on Artie so she wouldn't have to see the looks on the rest of the faces she knew were staring at her.

**_"I'll keep on rolling down this road,_**

**_But I've got a bad, bad feeling."_**

Brittany wore a grin, thankful to finally hear Rachel's voice again and leaned her head against Santana's shoulder provoking a smile from the cheerleader.

**_"It's gonna take a long time to love,_**

**_It's gonna take a lot to hold on._**

**_It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah._**

**_Left in the pieces that you broke me into,_**

**_Torn apart but now I've got to_**

**_Keep on rolling like a stone_**

**_Cause it's gonna be a long, long way to happy."_**

Santana felt pride swell inside her, she had told Rachel what she needed to hear, but it was Rachel's doing to find her voice again. Santana was proud that the girl she would secretly call her friend had found the strength she needed.

**_"Left my childhood behind_**

**_In a roll away bed_**

**_Everything was so damn simple_**

**_Now I'm losing my head_**

**_Trying to cover up the damage,"_**

Quinn felt a small stab at pain when she heard Rachel sing about covering up damage, she had seen the damage, she was the one that helped cover up the damage. These feelings were of no use to her, she knew this but for the first time since she had found Rachel in the bathroom she allowed herself to feel the true extent of her emotions at having found Rachel so broken and beaten.

**_"And pad out all the bruises_**

**_too young to know i had it_**

**_So it didn't hurt to lose it_**

**_Didn't hurt to lose it_**

**_No but oh_**

**_I'll keep on rolling down this road_**

**_But I've got a bad, bad feeling."_**

Mercedes sat in awe, she had honestly thought they wouldn't hear Rachel ever sing again. Granted she had heard Rachel sing to Beth, but that was soft and soothing, it lacked the fire and passion the girl used to have. This, this was really Rachel.

**_"It's gonna take a long time to love,_**

**_it's gonna take a lot to hold on,_**

**_it's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah._**

**_Left in the pieces that you broke me into,_**

**_Torn apart but now I've got to_**

**_Keep on rolling like a stone,_**

**_Cause it's gonna be a long long way"_**

Puck had never really been one to pay attention to lyrics, it was very rare that he found something that made him think. The one song that he had really touched him was Beth. This however caught his attention. The lyrics hurt, and he could hear Rachel's hurt as she sung the words. He wanted to be able to rewind time and spare her this pain.

**_"Now I'm numb as hell and I can't feel a thing,_**

**_But don't worry about regret or guilt cause I never knew your name_**

**_I just want to thank you,_**

**_Thank you,_**

**_From the bottom of my heart._**

**_For all the sleepless nights_**

**_And for tearing me apart yeah, yeah."_**

Mr. Schue couldn't tear his eyes away from the young woman sat in the center of the room. Rachel was fighting back, the only way she knew how and she was sharing it with everyone. This was her way of letting them know, she's stronger than they've been treating her. She's not a china doll.

**_"It's gonna take a long time to love,_**

**_It's gonna take a lot to hold on,_**

**_It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah._**

**_Left in the pieces that you broke me into,_**

**_Torn apart but now I've got to_**

**_Keep on rolling like a stone_**

**_Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy."_**

Rachel stood up, she had missed this so much. This was her lifeline, this was how she used to cope. No one would ever take her voice from her, she wouldn't let them. She put all her anger, all her fears, all the tears she'd cried and all the ones she'd yet to cry, every emotion she'd felt since January, everything that had plagued her into the last verse.

**_"It's gonna take a long time to love,_**

**_It's gonna take a lot to hold on,_**

**_It's gonna be a long, long, long, long way to happy, yeah._**

**_Left in the pieces that you broke me into,_**

**_Torn apart but now I've got to_**

**_Keep on rolling like a stone_**

**_Cause it's gonna be a long, long way to happy."_**

Rachel stood panting, trying to control the surge of emotions that were coursing through her veins, vibrating every fibre of her being.

The group sat in shocked silence, they had heard Rachel sing before, but none of them had ever heard hear sing with so much fire, conviction, emotion or passion before. This was Rachel Berry and then some.

Quinn was the first to move, she went up to Rachel and wrapped her arms around the shaking girl. Rachel caved in, she gave in completely to the need for Quinn that Santana had told her she had, she held on tightly to Quinn and cried silently into the blonde's shoulder. Brittany lifted her head from Santana's shoulder, made her way to the front and put her arms around both of the girls, resting her head gently on top of Rachel's.

Kurt turned to Mr. Schue, his voice tight with unshed tears, "How are we supposed to top that?"

Mr. Schue cleared his throat, "We can't."

* * *

**Attention: **So I'm really nervous about this chapter, what do you guys think? Big, big, BIG thank you to **chunkmunk09** for putting up with my constant messaging tonight, this chapter probably wouldn't have been finished if it weren't for you so cheers mate.

Ok, I can't think of anything to ask right now, it's like 07:45 and I've not slept yet so my brain is a little fried LOL

I can't wait to hear what you all think!


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn (friendship, could lead to more)

**Notes: **Right so you had your little piece of happiness LOL now back to the not so happy stuff. Rachel and Quinn find they have issues to deal with for either of them to be able to move forward and Rachel admits to some things about singing that she hadn't realised until after her performance.

******Warning: **Language

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

**Friday night**

"I wish you could've seen her," Mercedes said.

"She sang?" Leroy asked disbelievingly. "MY Rae sang?"

"She did more than sing Mr.B," Mercedes could still feel the power from the lyrics, "I've never had a song make me want to cry before," she admitted.

"That's my girl," Leroy said lovingly, pride shining in his eyes.

"I've never heard her sing like that before," Mercedes words were quiet, "after four months of silence, I'd almost forgotten how good she was."

"She's always been good," Hiram said.

"I know," Mercedes looked at the Berry's, "I don't know how to explain it, it's not that she just sounded better, she was amazing. It was just…so different."

"She's different," Leroy said mournfully, "she's not the person she was four months ago, she'll never be that person she was before."

"She won't but I think the person she's becoming will be awe inspiring," Mercedes answered truthfully.

* * *

"I can't believe I did that," Rachel said from her spot on her bed.

"Neither can I," Quinn answered, "Rachel, you were amazing."

"Oh God, I shouldn't have done that," her hand dragged across her face, blurring the lines of her features as she reprimanded herself.

"What? Rachel you were seriously amazing. I don't think there's a word for how brilliant you were." Quinn looked Rachel in the eyes, "I have never heard anything like that before."  
"Can you do me a favour?" Rachel asked seriously.

"What Rach?"

"Remind me to kill Artie on Monday."

"No."

"Why not?" she pouted.

"Have you not been listening to a single word I've said?"

"Ok I was good, I get it," Rachel rolled her eyes, getting slightly annoyed with everyone for over praising her.

"Good? Rachel you really don't get it!"

"What's there to get Quinn? I sang a song, it's not a big deal."

"Not a big deal?" Quinn's voice raised an octave higher than normal as her annoyance grew with the small star.

"No it's not."

"God! You can be so infuriating!" Quinn threw her arms up in despair, "You didn't just sing Rachel, you made people feel the lyrics! The first time in four months anyone has heard you sing, and I mean truly sing, and you filled everyone with so much emotion that all they could do is cry. You did something so beautiful, how is that not a big deal?"

"Because I don't want it to be!" Rachel snapped. "People are going to expect me to start singing like I did before all of this…this shit! And I can't! Happy now?"

"No one expects anything of you Rachel."

"Yes they do," Rachel shook her head at Quinn's naivety, "they expect me to start getting better, they expect me to 'talk through the pain' with some psycho-babble bullshit therapist, they expect me to give it up for adoption. I'm trying to be better but guess what? I'm not! I don't want to talk to some stranger in great detail about something I don't even want to think about and dissect every thought I have. I don't know what I'm doing about the baby I," her words stopped as she realised what she'd said, "I don't know what I'm doing about it."

"Why didn't you say something sooner?" Quinn gently prodded.

"Because I didn't want to. I didn't need anyone before, I didn't have friends, I coped fine then, I want to be able to cope again, I will be able to cope again."

"It's ok to need people you know," Quinn said softly.

"That's what Santana said. She told me to stop being a stubborn ass and suck it up," she mumbled angrily.

"She's a smart woman."

"Why should I need people when they don't need me?"

"That's not true."

"Yes it is," her belief in what she was saying resonated in her voice, delivering a sharp quick in the stomach to Quinn.

"No, it's not."

"Who needs me Quinn? No one does, I'm too fucked up for anyone to need me," Rachel's words were bitter with self-loathing.

"I need you," Quinn was sincere.

"No you don't."

"I do."

"No Quinn, you don't," Rachel said firmly, "you're just saying it to make me feel better."  
"Rachel just shut up for a minute and listen to me, I mean really listen to me." Quinn sighed as she ran a hand through her hair, finding it hard to believe she was actually about to have this conversation, it wasn't supposed to happen like this, she was supposed to have time to prepare herself. "Whether you believe me or not the fact is I do need you. You once offered me friendship when no one else did, and I was too proud and too stubborn to accept it. I regretted it in ways I can't even explain because I don't even understand them. I've been trying to find a way to apologise to you for so long but I just didn't know how to. Sorry just wasn't enough. I was a bitch to everyone before Beth, but I was downright cruel to you. I went out of my way to be cruel to you. I was evil to you, and I have no idea how you can stand to be in the same room as me."

"Quinn you" Rachel didn't get to complete her objection.

"I'm not finished," Quinn stood and started to pace the room, ready to reveal a part of herself that she didn't show to many people, in fact when she thought about it she'd only really ever shown it to one person, "I believe God has a reason for everything that happens to us. Maybe my reason for having Beth, is you. Maybe I went through everything I did so that I could be there for you, so you wouldn't have to go through this alone. For whatever reason I love that we're friends, and I don't care if we could magically turn back the clock so that none of this ever happened, I'd still want to be your friend. So yeah Rachel, I need you."

* * *

"Do you think they're ok up there?" Hiram asked, they had heard Rachel yelling at Quinn.

"Maybe we should check on them?" Leroy suggested.

"No," Mercedes shook her head, "they need to do this."

"I don't understand," Hiram said honestly.

"Quinn and Rachel, they've never really been friends," Mercedes said carefully, unsure of what Rachel had told her fathers.

"We know," Leroy put her out of her misery, "everything that every person has ever done wrong by Rachel, she always told us."

"Oh…well that makes things a little easier," Mercedes thought about it for a second, "and it puts me in a bad light."

"Past is past huni, you can't focus on it," Leroy comforted.

"Yeah well my past aside, I don't think they can move on from theirs," Mercedes didn't understand how she knew this, she just knew that she did, "I think they need to get it all out in the air, even if it means yelling at each other. Rae needs Quinn, she's the only person she seems to be truly ok with, but Quinn would be able to help her more if they could get over the stuff they've put each other through. Especially Quinn, she's been carrying the guilt around for far too long."

"You Miss Jones," Hiram smiled softly at her, "are wise beyond your years."

* * *

Rachel stared at Quinn, trying to process everything the blonde had said to her. Quinn actually liked being her friend? God prepared her for this? _Why the Hell didn't he prepare me?_ Far too much information to process at once, "Wait. You went out of your way to be mean to me?"

"Out of everything I just said to you, you pick up on that bit?" Quinn couldn't believe it.

"Sorry I just…I'm so confused," Rachel babbled, "first you say you regretted not taking my offer of friendship, then you reveal that you deliberately targeted me, and then you tell me you wouldn't want to undo our friendship even if you could rewind time, which is an impossibility, I do hope you realise that."

"Yes Rachel I realise that," Quinn sniped sarcastically.

"Why?" Rachel asked timidly.

"I don't know Rachel, if I could explain why I was so horrid to you I would…I just don't know."

"No not that," Rachel drummed her fingers together, "why do you like being my friend so much?"

"You don't act differently around me because of Beth, you don't resent me for her or remind me constantly that I was stupid for getting drunk and sleeping with Puck," Quinn responded honestly, "you had every right to mock me for compromising my beliefs and you didn't, instead you taught me the value of truth."

"Oh…" Rachel hadn't expected any of those reasons.

"But you did something else," Quinn couldn't remember having ever felt so nervous in a conversation before, this was something she had never revealed to anyone, not even Santana, "Do you remember when everyone found I was pregnant, the song we sang?"

"Keep Holding On?" Rachel had no idea why she made it sound like a question; she remembered every song she had performed with the Glee club, every routine, when and where they had performed.

"Yeah," Quinn smiled slightly, glad that Rachel remembered the song that had become so important to her, "do you remember anything else about it?"

"I remember that I wanted you to know that I was there for you if you needed me," Rachel admitted, suddenly very interested in a crease of her bed sheet, "but I guess that didn't work."

"You're wrong," Quinn said simply, "when we sang Keep Holding On, there were parts of it where it felt like you where singing to me, not at me, but to me. I couldn't go back on turning down your friendship; I let what other people think of me get in the way. But when things were too much, too scary, or I felt so alone that I didn't think anyone cared, I tried to memorise the way you sang, the way you meant the words you were singing. You made me feel better, like I wasn't as lonely as I thought, that things would work out ok one way or another. Does that make sense?" Quinn stood still, waiting anxiously for Rachel to say something, anything to what she had just told her.

Rachel got off of the bed and went to hug Quinn, "Thank you."

"Now what did I do?" Quinn asked perplexed.

"You made things a little clearer," she answered thoughtfully, "I think maybe now I understand Quinn Fabray a little bit better than I did about fifteen minutes ago."

"You sure that's a good thing?"

"Yeah," a smile sounded in her voice, "I think I am."

* * *

**Attention: **So what's the what people? Does it work ok? Big thank you to my helper **angelic_tourniquet**, if it weren't for you I probably would've scrapped this chapter.

So people, thoughts, ideas, suggestions?

Actually while we're on that note - PLEASE I am literally begging her, no more suggestions of miscarriage, that will NOT be happening under ANY circumstances. As someone who's been there and done that, I'm not going to incorporate that into this story. So please, please, please STOP suggesting it! Thanks :)

Apparently the last chapter provoked tears in a lot of you - for which I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make anyone cry LOL for anyone who's wondering what the song I used is it's P!nk's Long Way To Happy. It's an amazing song, regardless of whether it has personal meaning to you or not.

Erm...I still can't think of any questions right now, still not been to sleep yet LOL Right you may or may not get another update today, I'm thinking probably not cos I will have to sleep eventually (damn it).

Look forward to hearing what you all think!


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Mercedes has a little chat with Finn. Rachel has another appointment. Rachel can't be honest with her therapist, but maybe she can with someone else? (Please read A/N at the end)

**Warning: Language**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

**Wednesday**

Mercedes waited out the cafeteria leant against the wall with her arms crossed against her chest. She'd much rather be sat down at lunch with the rest of the Gleeks but she had something more important to do.

Finn smiled lazily as he saw Mercedes come into view as he rounded the corner, "Hey Mercedes, who you waiting for?"

She stepped away from the wall and walked towards him, "We need to talk."

"Ok," he was caught off guard when Mercedes grabbed him by the elbow, spun him round and started walking away from the cafeteria, "did I do something wrong?"

"You could say that," she muttered under her breath. "In here," she opened the door to an empty classroom, waited for Finn to enter the room before shutting the door.

"What's going on?" Finn asked totally bewildered.

"You need to leave Rachel alone," Mercedes said as she stepped into Finn's personal space.

"But I don't talk to her, we're not together anymore," he said remorsefully.

"That," she pointed at him, "that's what I'm on about. I mean it Finn leave her alone."

"I don't understand," his brow furrowed, "what am I doing?"

"You're pining for her. You keep give her those big puppy dog eyes and that look."

"What look?"

"The one that says you want to know if she broke up with you because of Karofsky," she said simply. _I bet it's easier to explain math to Brittany._

"Oh," Finn's face fell with the realisation that he'd been so easy to read.

"You need to back off."

"But," his cheeks flushed, "I love her Mercedes."

Mercedes sighed. _Maybe I'd even be able to get Brittany to learn how to do long division._ "No one's questioning whether you love her or not Finn, everyone knows that."

"Does she know that?"

"Ok Finn stop!" _Is he really this dense?_ "You want to prove to Rachel that you love her?"

Finn nodded eagerly.

"Then move on."

"I don't understand."

"Do whatever it takes to get over Rachel," Mercedes slowed her words as though she were speaking to a child, "just get over her. All of this stuff you keep doing; the pining, the puppy dog eyes, the long looks, they're not helping Rachel." She waiting a moment watching him as the cogs of his brain rotated and digested the information, "You're scaring her Finn."

"I'd never hurt her," the words rushed from his dry lips.

"She knows that but that doesn't make her any less scared."

* * *

"Are you still ok about coming tomorrow?" Rachel asked Quinn.

"Rachel we've been through this already," Quinn let out an exasperated sigh, "I honestly don't mind."

"Where are you going?" Brittany chimed in excitedly.

Rachel's eyes fell to the half eaten salad in front of her, "I have an appointment," suddenly she felt flushed with hear, every member knew Rachel was pregnant but none of them had ever questioned her about it, "with the doctors."

Santana place a hand on Brittany's arm before the ditzy blonde could launch into a series of questions, "Let it B, yeah?" Brittany nodded.

"Are you sure you don't want me to ask my mom if she could watch Beth? Quinn asked.

"I don't think you're ready to let your mom watch her," Rachel answered.

"I'm with Rachel," Puck joined in, "I'm really not happy with the idea of leaving Beth with your mom. Look I'll call in sick or see if one of the guys will swap shifts with me."

"I'd offer to look after her but me and Mercedes are going to the cinema," Kurt said apologetically, "and I really don't think the film will be suitable for little Beth."

"I'll watch her," Santana offered.

"You can't," Brittany reminded her, "practice. Coach Sylvester will kill us if we don't go."

"Sylvester can bite me," Santana shrugged.

Rachel banged her tray against the table, drawing the bickering Glee members attention, "No one is calling in sick or cancelling plans or getting in trouble," she said the last part pointedly to Santana before turning on Quinn, "you're going to drop Beth off in the morning with her car seat and let them know that Daddy will pick her up at a quarter to three and then he'll pick us up here and we'll go to the appointment." Everyone sat in stunned silence, the last time Rachel had been this forceful was back in October when nearly all of the boys had protested against the choreography for a group piece. "It makes sense to pick Beth up early in case the doctors runs late," she could see Quinn trying for an argument. Rachel knew Quinn was trying to keep her exposure to Beth to a minimum but she felt that it was completely unnecessary, "Do not try and argue with me Quinn Fabray."

"Fine," Quinn gave in she knew there was no point in arguing, "you win!"

* * *

**Thursday**

"Rachel Berry?" The nurse called.

Quinn stood, Beth resting against her shoulder, "You ready?" she offered Rachel her free hand.

"Really not," Rachel took hold of Quinn's hand and didn't let go as they walked to the examination room.

"You can do this," Quinn whispered to her as they entered the room.

"I thought it'd be easier this time," Rachel admitted, "if anything I think it's worse."

"If you'd like to get yourself comfortable Dr. Wu will be in shortly," the nurse said before leaving the two friends alone in the room.

"Quinn," Rachel looked at the bed fearfully, "do I have to?"

"I'm afraid so sweetie," Quinn wished that she didn't, "it'll be over soon."

"Yeah in another 5 months," Rachel grumbled as she climbed onto the bed.

"On the plus side at least school's nearly over," Quinn tried to cheer Rachel up.

"Regional's are almost here," Rachel reminded her.

The door opened, "Hi Rachel," Dr. Wu greeted, "how are you feeling?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?" Rachel answered the question with a question of her own.

"Ok let me rephrase," the doctor sat down on the stool beside the bed, "how's the nausea?"

"Improving," Rachel admitted, "I can actually go in the cafeteria at school without wanting to run to the nearest bathroom."

"That's good," Dr. Wu started sorting out the equipment, "sounds like you're coming to the end of it."

"Thank God!" Rachel muttered under her breath.

"Let's take a look then shall we?" Dr. Wu prompted.

Rachel took a steadying breath and rolled up her t-shirt to reveal her now slightly swollen stomach that was beginning to start taking the form of the definitive bump.

The doctor applied the cool gel to the warm skin, sending shivers down the girls' spine. Without thinking about it Rachel reached for Quinn's hand and laced their fingers together. Rachel tried to ignore the pressure on her stomach; she kept her eyes focused on Quinn.

"Everything's coming along nicely," Dr. Wu informed Rachel, "would you like to know the sex?"

"No," Rachel answered truthfully, "I don't want to know, not yet."

Quinn brushed her thumb over Rachel's hand when she felt the smaller girl tense up.

Rachel turned her head to face the doctor, breaking eye contact with Quinn for the first time since the start of the examination, "Will you tell my dads? That way when I'm ready they can tell me." She knew the doctor would tell them regardless, but at least by requesting he told them she felt that she had a little control over the situation regardless of the lack of supporting truth to her theory.

Dr. Wu passed Rachel some paper towels to remove the excess gel from her skin, "Certainly. If you'd like to send them straight in I'll talk to them."

* * *

Quinn lay in the sun lounger on her back in the Berry's back garden, Beth sprawled out on top of her. She had been dubious about keeping Beth at first, but there wasn't a single moment when she regretted her decision. She brought a hand to rest on her daughters back and lazily ran her fingers up and down Beth's spine, relishing the closeness she was able to share with her little girl.

Rachel lay in the sun lounger besides Quinn, on her side, watching the interaction between mother and daughter. She briefly wondered if this was one of the moments Shelby had referred to on never being able to recapture because they had missed their chance. "She's gotten so big."

"She really has," Quinn smiled lazily, "I can't believe she's nearly one already."

"Can I ask you something?" her voice was timid and weighted with the real question she wanted to ask.

"You can ask whatever you like," Quinn tried to alleviate the situation slightly, she could sense Rachel's nervousness, "but that doesn't mean I'll answer it."

"Ok," it took Rachel a second to realise that the blonde was playing with her, she hesitated a moment briefly considering dropping the subject entirely but deciding against it, "what made you change your mind? About Beth I mean, what made you decide to keep her?"

"If I'm honest it was a lot of things," she turned her head so that she could see Rachel, "what makes you ask?"

"It's just something I've always wondered. When Puck sang Beth he said you were giving her up and then I had to stay behind at Regional's so I missed out on all the excitement so we didn't get disqualified and we weren't exactly friends then so I never really understood what had changed between Puck singing Beth and you deciding to keep Beth."

"And this has nothing to do with the appointment we just got back from?"

"I'd be remiss to say that it wasn't but that wouldn't be entirely true but to be honest with you I have always been intrigued as to what provoked your change of heart."

"I don't know if now if a good time to talk about this Rach." "Why not?" Rachel tried to keep the hurt from her voice.

"It's not because I don't want to tell you, I'm not trying to keep anything from you," Quinn tried to assure, "it's just…do you really think it's a good idea to be talking about this now? I mean, you said so yourself you don't know what you want to do and I respect you for taking the time to think things through. You're a lot braver than most people, they wouldn't stop to think about it and you are, even through all this you're still that amazingly strong person who kept her head held high whenever someone threw a slushie in your face."

"I don't mean to be rude Quinn but what has this got to do with your reluctance of telling me why you decided to keep Beth?" Rachel was getting a little frustrated.

"Because Rach, the only thing we have in common surrounding this is that we've both been pregnant in high school," Quinn chose her words carefully, not wanting to upset Rachel but needing her to understand, "I can get all understand all the physical things, I went through them and I know that sometimes you just need someone to tell you it's all going to be ok even if you know it's not but this is completely different." She turned to look at Beth, wondering if she would have kept her if she had been the result of violence and hate, "My reasons for keeping Beth aren't going to be anything like the things you're feeling, I can't understand them and I wish you didn't have to either. I don't want you to think that my reasons for keeping Beth should be the things that you should be thinking."

"I don't know what I should be thinking," Rachel admitted quietly.

"That's why I don't think I should tell you, not now. You said everyone expects you to go for adoption. This should be something you decide for yourself Rach, no one can tell you what feels right or wrong for you. I wouldn't want my decisions to influence for yours."

"I hadn't thought about that," she chewed on her lip, this was a habit she knew she would have to break but for some reason found it helped her to think, "can I tell you something?"

Quinn nodded, her hazel eyes focused on chocolate.

"That's why I said no," her voice was worried, she hadn't said anything to anyone about her thoughts surrounding the life growing inside her, "when Dr. Wu asked if I wanted to know. I'm not ready…"

"It's ok to not feel ready," the blonde comforted.

"I don't know what I think or what I feel anymore. Every time I think I know, it changes. I want to be angry at him but I'm not," she took a steadying breath, "I'm so scared. I'm scared of everything and I hate it. I want to hate...it, but I every time I think about it I just feel so confused, like I'm torn in two. I know what I should want to do, what I should think but I don't. I want to know what to do. I want to go back to being me, to knowing what I'm doing and how I'm going to do it, but I'm not me anymore." She pulled herself into a sitting position, "I want to be me again, I want to make my own decisions. That's why I don't want to know, I want the decision I make to be because I made it."

* * *

**Attention:** Ok I'd like to start off with saying I'm so sorry for how I ended this chapter – it's crap and I know it, but I just couldn't find a way to round it off. Also I apologise that the general quality of this chapter is probably pants, I probably shouldn't write when I've not slept two nights in a row.

Sorry it took me so long to update, I had a visit from my baby brother and then I kinda got distracted by tumblr LOL I know excuses, excuses. I've finally had some sleep so hopefully the next chapter will be much better than this one.

Question for you – should I cover regional's?

I look forward to reading reviews and finding out what you all think.

One last thing before I go – a big and I mean massively BIG thanks to **chunkmunk09** for all the help lately. I think I may have given up if it weren't for you mate so thanks so much for helping me to continue writing this story.


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Ok so this chapter is stupidly SHORT! But the idea just wouldn't leave me alone. So yeah to steal a line from Buffy's Once More, With Feeling… "I think this line's mostly filler" is what I think about this chapter, but I hope you enjoy it regardless.

**Warning: **

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

Her dads had finally agreed to returning back to work as normal. Leroy had been working from home for a few weeks now and as a result was falling behind, he dread to think about the mountain of paper work that was probably stacked on his desk for him to look at when he finally went into the office.

They had seen the improvements in their daughter, they were only subtle changes but they still noticed them. Rachel no longer exited the room the moment one of them entered, she was beginning to eat more and more instead of pushing her food around her plate until she would excuse herself from the table. Granted the eating was probably more due to the small being growing inside her and not down to her but it was an improvement that both Hiram and Leroy welcomed and were thankful for. She no longer woke up in the middle of the night screaming, they knew that she still woke up but were thankful that whatever it was that woke her no longer caused her to scream. They didn't know that she was forcing herself not to scream, they didn't know that she would lie in bed crying silently. Another change they had noticed were her showers. She didn't seem to be showering so frequently, but the showers she did take were a lot longer. They didn't know how they could convince her that she wasn't dirty, that none of this was her fault. They prayed that after she'd had the baby that she would to feel his presence on her a lot less.

There were so many things for them to worry about when it came to their baby girl, they had always worried about her and had done everything they could for her and had usually gotten it right. But there was no handbook, no one to tell them how to make this better.

They had considered calling Shelby. Rachel had told them about her reconnection with her mother, and everything that had happened. In the end they decided that it was probably better not to bring Shelby into this. She had told Rachel they couldn't have the mother and daughter relationship that Rachel wanted and that they should probably stay out of each others lives. No, calling Shelby would only lead to more confusion for Rachel and that was something she really didn't need.

Despite her improvements their worries were growing. Summer break was approaching and they didn't know how Rachel would cope away from having the daily distraction of school. They had spoken with her briefly about her usual summer activities; the performing arts camp she had gone to last summer, the volunteering she had done at the local theatre, they had asked her about all of the things she had done previously and whether she would want to do them this summer. A part of them was relieved when she had told them that she didn't want to do any of those things this year, that she wanted to say home, the other part of them worried because she had never turned down any of these opportunities before. They were worried that she would become withdrawn from the world once summer arrived and she no longer had Glee practice to work out some of her frustrations.

She really wasn't the person she used to be. She never would be that person again.

* * *

**Attention:** Ok so I'm REALLY sorry for the way this chapter turned out, but it's over with now so hopefully things will start to get better again LOL I've had a LOT of people say they want to see Shelby in this and originally I really didn't want her in this and then it was a case of she just didn't fit. HOWEVER, with the possibility of covering regional's I'm wondering if maybe I should bring her in. Seeing as how I had Quinn keep Beth, I'm wondering if I should have it so that Shelby never quit Vocal Adrenaline.

So I put it to the audience…

Shelby – yay or nay?

I look forward to reading what you all think and again I say sorry for this chapter.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Ok so not as short as the previous chapter but still relatively short. One of Rachel and Artie's chats.

**Warning: **Language

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

**Monday**

Artie was running late, he had forgotten the books he needed for the assignment he had planned to work on. It didn't really matter it wasn't as if he would actually be working on his assignment, but still the pretense of work loomed over him and he felt that he should at least appear to be willing to study. When he finally arrived at the library he was already fifteen minutes late, he wove through the stacks of books until he finally reached their table hidden from view to find Rachel with her head down on her arms.

"Hey," he tested. When she didn't answer he knew that she was asleep. _I'm not that late._ Artie pulled up alongside the sleeping girl and gently shook her shoulder, "oh sleepy head, time to wake up."

Rachel sat up with a start, her eyes wide with panic as she tried to figure out where she was.

"Rachel, it's me," Artie tried to get her focus back, "you're ok. You're in the library."

She brought her hand up to her face and pinched the bridge of her nose, "Oh God…please tell me I wasn't snoring?"

Artie smiled at her, "No you weren't snoring, but I was really tempted to put my glasses on you and take a picture. You've got the books open, you're in the library, all you needed was the crooked classes and you could've been some 80's montage for studying."

"Not funny."

"Oh come on, you gotta admit it was a little bit funny."

"I can't believe I fell asleep."

"I have to admit you're never this tired on a Monday," Artie was concerned, "was last night a really bad night?"

"I suppose," she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, "I had another dream."

"They're not getting better are they?" he asked sadly.

"Sometimes I think they are, but then they get to being unbearable again when she's not there."

"Who?"

"Who what?"

"You said when she's not there, when who's not there?"

"Oh," her cheeks flared rose, "it doesn't matter."

"Don't be ridiculous, of course it matters. If there's something that makes the nightmares easier then it definitely matters. Who makes it better Houdini?"

"You're never going to stop calling me that are you?"

"Nope," he said proudly, "you're stuck with that name forever. Now stop trying to change the subject."

"You're going to think it's weird," she said shyly.

"You're like my best friend," Artie admitted, "what can possibly be weirder than that?"

"I'm your best friend?" she asked hopefully. Artie fixed her with a gaze that told her he wasn't going to answer any more questions until she answered his. "Quinn," she said quietly.

"Quinn?" his eyebrows vanished behind his hair, "Ok you're right I do think that's weird."

"Told you," she said dejectedly.

"So explain, apart from the fact that in our sophomore year she was a nightmare, what has Quinn got to do with nightmares?"

"She's not the person she was when we were sophomore's Artie," she scolded.

"I know, it's just hard to believe how different she is sometimes. I'm sorry, I'll be nice about her now," he crossed his hand over his heart.

"I don't know whether I should tell you," Rachel admitted.

"I promise, I'll behave. Come on Rachel, what has Quinn got to do with your nightmares?"

She considered not telling him, but she found that she wanted to prove to him that Quinn wasn't as bad as everyone thought she was or used to be, "They're not as bad when she's there."

"How'd you mean?"

"I sleep better when she's with me," she tried to puzzle out why it was that she slept better when the blonde was beside her, "when I wake up, I feel like he's right there, like he's on top of me again, but when she's there…I guess I feel safe."

"Well that kinda makes sense."

"How in the world does that make sense?" her face was coloured with confusion.

"When you're with Quinn, you seem…more like you," Artie said hesitantly, "it's nice to see that."

"I don't think I am me anymore."

"Well not exactly like you, you're different now," Artie admitted, "but then again a lot of us are. I mean look at Puck."

"I see your point," she really did see his point, but couldn't help but feel like she had lost herself, she knew she wasn't who she used to be and she had no idea how to regain that person.

"You're a good person Rach," he could see that she was struggling, "shit happens and it happens to the best people who don't deserve it."

"Maybe I did," she whispered.

"Never in a million years could you deserve it. You need to stop blaming yourself," Artie's words were soft and warm.

"How can I not?"

"Because you are an amazing person, whether you realise it or not. You would never be able to do something so cruel to anyone, that's how I know it's not your fault. You are so strong and I admire you for that. You're my best friend and I love you," he offered her a smile.

"Why can't all guys be like you Artie?"

"You want every guy to be in a wheelchair?" he knew she needed the subject changing if she was going to be able to make it through the rest of the day, "That seems a little harsh."

"No," she offered him a watery smile, "that's not what I meant."

"I know, but you gotta admit. It'd be crazy if all guys were in wheelchairs," he laughed, "can you imagine the transference of road rage? Yikes!"

"It'd be pretty bad wouldn't it?"

"Bad, it would get nasty!"

"Maybe we shouldn't put them all in wheelchairs then."

"Good idea," he pulled his books from his bag realizing that there was only twenty minutes left before the start of their next class.

"You're really going to study?" Rachel asked incredulously.

"No, but I won't feel as guilty about not studying if I at least try and pretend that's what I came in here to do."

"Maybe we should find somewhere else to meet up in future?" she suggested, "to avoid the guilt."

"No," he answered quickly, "I like it here, no one bothers us."

"No one bothers us in the auditorium," she pointed out.

"True but that doesn't mean Mr. Schue won't emerge from somewhere and start talking about Glee," he thought of the time Mr. Schue had came in when he was practicing a song he wasn't sure he wanted to perform for anyone.

"Oh God," Rachel groaned, "I can't believe we've got regional's in three weeks."

"Me either, hey do you think Mr. Schue will do a song selection meeting again?"

"I'd imagine he will, he did state last year that it was the first annual regional meet so that does suggest he intends for it to happen this year."

"Damn," Artie joked, "I had a feeling you'd say that."

"You're not looking forward to regional's?"

"I am, I really enjoy Glee. It's just this stupid thing with Figgins. If we don't place it's over," Artie was honest, "I hate that we have that looming over our heads again. It takes away from it. Mr. Schue was right, it shouldn't be about winning but because of Figgins it is."

"All we can hope for is our best," Rachel said half-heartedly, she knew that unless she started to get more involved again Glee was finished.

"You're right. I hate it when that happens."

"I actually kind of like it," she smiled back as she started to pack her things away.

"Hey Houdini," he knew this would probably result in a slap from someone along the line but he want to cheer Rachel up, "when Quinn stays over, you guys actually share a bed?"

She walked into it, "Yes. Why?"  
Artie wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, "That's kind of hot."  
"I'll tell Tina you said that!"

"I'll deny all knowledge," he finished off putting his books away, there really was no point in getting them out in the first place.

"Deny it all you want Abrams, I'll inform Tina of your Puck-like moments," she stuck her tongue out.

"And that my dear Houdini," he laughed, "is exactly why she won't believe you."

**Attention:** Ok so I hopefully the chapters will start getting longer again. I hope that this was a nice break from all the ARGH in this story. I know it wasn't all sunshine but at least there was some fun in it right?

Ok before I go any further I just have one thing to say…

IF and right now that's a big if, Shelby comes into she will NOT and I cannot stress this enough, be adopting Rachel's baby. I know I've been incredibly cruel to Rachel but even I'm not THAT cruel.

Ok so question…I did have one and it's completely slipped my mind…oh wait a minute this one will do…

Do you think Rachel should perform at Regional's?

Not really a question cos I think I know what I'm doing when it comes to Regional's I just wondered what people's thoughts were on this.

Anyways I hope you enjoyed the update, there probably won't be another one until tomorrow night at the earliest as the next one is probably going to be a bit intense – or at the very least difficult for me to write and for it to come out the way I want it to.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Rachel does some thinking and slowly starts the process of putting the blame where it belongs.

**Warning: **Language. Violence.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

**Monday night/Tuesday Morning**

She was used to lying awake at night plagued by thoughts, it was something Rachel had become accustomed to. She found herself questioning everything. Family. Friends. Glee. School. The baby. Her future. Regional's.

_I wish Quinn was here. _She hated the nights when she found herself alone in bed, she had grown used to the two or three nights of the week when she would have the blonde's delicate frame lying beside her. She could talk to Quinn tell her about the thoughts that were keeping her up. More often that not Quinn was just as clueless as Rachel was about what it all meant, but she listened none the less and cared about what the small girl had to say. Rachel found herself wanting to tell Quinn about what she was thinking that day on the swings, but she wasn't ready to deal with her discoveries yet herself, let alone share them with someone else. There was enough to deal with as it was, without adding to it. It wasn't just missing the sense of safety that Quinn seemed to embody whenever she was around her, Rachel found that she generally missed Quinn's presence. It was true that she felt safe with Quinn, but she felt safe with Mercedes, Artie and Santana. There was something else there that made her need the blonde, something that made their friendship unique. She had wondered if it was anything to do with Quinn being the person to find her at her lowest point. _I can't believe I did that. I didn't even think about it. _That was the scary thing about it all, she hadn't thought about it. She had just gone through with it, it hadn't hurt, it didn't bring any form of peace, all she had felt was numb. That was one of the reasons she had done it in the first place. To feel. Her reasons for taking a brillo pad to her skin were to remove him and to see if she would feel anything. She had failed at both. _And now I'm scarred forever. _Even if there had been no physical scarring, there was always the mental scarring. She knew this wasn't something she could just bounce back from. It was because of him she know understood the meaning of malice and what true hatred was. She didn't hate him, she wished she could. _Maybe one day I'll be able to hate him._ For now she would remain petrified by the mere thought of him.

Rachel rolled onto her side, her elbow ended up resting atop of the bump that was now her stomach. She tried to fathom out what she was supposed to. _How am I supposed to feel?_ She wanted it to be simple, she wanted it to be black and white. _Why is nothing clear any more? _She wanted to understand it it happened in the first place. How she had managed to get herself into this mess. She still couldn't understand how Quinn was able to touch her, how she was able to rest her hand on her expanding stomach. _**"This is your baby Rach, whether you decide to keep it or not. It doesn't make you disgusting or dirty, no matter what anyone else says. It doesn't matter who the father is because it's a part of you. It'll be perfect, because it's a part of you." **_She wished she could believe everything Quinn had said. _How can it be perfect when I'm so broken?_ She didn't understand how after everything that had happened she had managed to end up with people that she could actually call friends. Friends that loved her. _They shouldn't love me. I don't deserve it. _She couldn't shake the feeling that she was damaged goods. _Maybe this is why Shelby didn't want to try, maybe she knew I wasn't worth it._ She wondered if the child she was carrying would think the same one-day, that Rachel had deemed them unworthy somehow for a deed they had no blame in. _What would I do if sixteen years later they turned up on my doorstep?_ The thought was a constant since she had first felt the delicate flutter within her stomach, she'd barely realised it was there at first, she wasn't even sure if the flutter was the baby or whether it was her nerves. She had been thinking a lot lately about what she was going to do when it came to the baby. She only had two options but it was proving the hardest decision she had ever had to make.

She gave up trying to sleep, her mind was racing and Quinn wasn't there to help at least turn the volume down as they screamed in her head. Rachel extricated herself from the bed and made her way to the en suite, glancing at the clock as she passed it. 02:07 flashed on the display. She toyed with the idea of putting her music on regardless of the late hour, but in the end decided against it not wanting to wake her fathers even though they were pretty heavy sleepers. She started the shower and started to hum quietly as she peeled away the layers of clothing that now passed for her sleepwear. Uncovering her body did nothing to slow her thoughts, if anything it made them race faster in dizzying circles around her head all screaming at her for attention. She tried to shake the thoughts away as she entered the shower, her muscles tensing as the hot water came into contact with her skin.

She stood still for a few moments, relishing the way the water pelted against her raw skin. It took away from the thoughts of why she had woken up in the first place, the one thought she was desperately trying to ignore so that she wouldn't have to see his face. It didn't matter, no matter what she thought of in the end it all came back to him. The divide at school, the child she was carrying, the distance that she had formed between herself and her fathers, the friends she now had, the future she was no longer sure of. It all boiled down to the same thing, he was the route of every thought. She felt the anger wash over her and she welcomed it. It took over everything, the fear, the constant confusion, the hopelessness, everything, it was all replaced with anger.

Everything she had wanted to ignore was now at the forefront of her mind, propelled there by anger and the shadow of his face. His smirk served to taunt her. She couldn't understand how her feelings had changed so much in the space of an hour, she didn't care. The combination of hormones and anger coursing through her veins ruled out all logic that yelled at her to stop and ask what had changed, she just ran with it. _You took away my family!_ Her fists draw back and slammed into tile. _You took away my future! _Flesh collided with tile again. _You ruined everything! _Bang. _You fucked it all up!_ Bam. _You fucked me up!_ Bang. _It's your fault! You did this!_ She kept slamming her fists against the wall with every statement. _I'm disgusting because of you! I'm pregnant because of you! _The thoughts kept on coming, everything she had been aiming at herself finally being aimed elsewhere. _Why me? You fuck! Why did you have to break me?_ Her right fist missed the tile and connected with the metal piping of the shower, splitting the skin, she didn't stop. _You took my voice away from me!_ She was beginning to loose steam, her anger fading as quickly as it had made it's presence known. _You took away my choice! You took everything from me! _She slumped against the wall and slid to sit in the basin, tears mixing with water. _What did I do to deserve this?_

This was the first time Rachel was glad Quinn wasn't there to have stopped her from venting her anger, she was glad that Quinn hadn't been the one on the receiving end this time.

* * *

**Attention:** Ok so thoughts? LOL

Couple of questions…

What sex do you think the baby is?

Rachel is close to making her decision surrounding the baby, who do you think will be the first person she tells?

I look forward to hearing what you all think


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Quinn and Santana balance each other out I think LOL Anyways erm right this chapter...Quinn and Santana worry about Rachel. Rachel reveals her decision surrounding the baby's fate.

**Warning: **Language. Violence.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

Quinn and Santana walked side by side as they made their way to class, the majority of the student body stepping out of the way not wanting to invoke the Latina Cheerio's wrath.

"So why is she hiding?" Santana asked.

"Who?"

"Berry," Santana said as though it was obvious, "she's gone back to the sweatshirt."

"You think she's hiding?" Quinn questioned.

"That's why she wore the sweatshirt before so yeah, she's hiding."

"She's been so quiet today, she didn't say anything on the way to school."

"Well she's not exactly been little Miss talks-a-lot lately."

"I'm worried about her S," Quinn admitted.

"Me too, which is why I'm gonna go see her after school."

Quinn stopped walking and eyed her best friend in a state of shock.

"Oh don't give me that fucking look Q," Santana rolled her eyes, "it's not the first time I've been to check up on Berry at home remember?"

"I know that S," Quinn resumed her place at Santana's side as they stopped at their lockers, "it's just you don't exactly do talking when it comes to feelings."

"Which is exactly why you're coming with me," Santana told the blonde as she grabbed her books from her locker.

"What if I've got plans?" Quinn knew she would be going to Rachel's with Santana, but she hated it when people told her what to do, it reminded her too much of her life before Beth when she still lived with her family.

"The only plans you've got involve which diapers to buy," Santana retorted, "so don't even try that one."

"Have I ever told you how much of a bitch you are?" Quinn slammed her locker shut.

"Shut up Q," Santana shut her locker and started towards the classroom, "you fucking love me for it and you know it."

* * *

Rachel was relieved that the day was almost over, keeping her hands hidden in her sleeves was proving rather difficult. She was on her way to her last class when her phone vibrated in her pocket.

_**Have your key on you. I'm coming over later. S **_

She sighed, she knew she wouldn't get away with wearing her sweatshirt but no one had asked her about it all day so she had hoped that maybe she had actually gotten away with it. _At least I won't have to climb back inside the house to open the door. _She sighed._ Should I be concerned that Santana always seems to know when I'm going to be on the roof?

* * *

_

Santana pulled up outside of the Berry residence and killed the engine.

"Do I need to tell you to play nice?" Quinn joked, trying to push her worried thoughts aside as to why Rachel had reverted back to the sweatshirt.

"Fuck you!" Santana shot back with a smirk.

"Fuck you back," Quinn said as she looked past her best friend towards the house, "wait…is Rachel on the roof?"

"Yeah," Santana shrugged, "she's always on the damn roof."

"What?" Quinn's eyebrows shot up matching the incline of the pitch of her voice.

"You didn't know?" the Latina smirked, "You mean I actually know something about Berry that you didn't?"

"Shut up S," Quinn started to get out of the car when Santana grabbed her arm, "let go."

"No, sit your ass down and listen to me for a minute. Berry's on the roof, for some fucked up reason she likes it there. So calm the fuck down, get out of mom mode and deal with it."

* * *

Rachel watched as Santana's car pulled up outside of the house. She tried to mentally prepare herself for the interrogation that was coming her way. _Do I even try to not tell her what she wants to know? _She watched as the Cheerio got out of her car, followed by Quinn. _Fuck! She could've warned me she was bringing Quinn with her._ She ran a hand through her hair as she watched the pair walk up the path.

"Berry - keys."

She pulled her keys from the pocket of her sweatshirt and threw them at Santana, secretly hoping they'd hit her on the head. _I can't believe she's done this to me! Quinn's going to kill me for being up here. Santana Lopez I'm going to kill you!

* * *

_

Santana let herself in and started up the stairs, Quinn trailing behind her.

"She shouldn't be on the roof," Quinn muttered.

"Save it Q."

The Cheerio went to Rachel's bedroom and to the open window.

"Where are you going?" Quinn asked disbelievingly.

"I'm going to go sit with Berry," the Latina was half way out of the window, "where the fuck do you think I'm going?"

"But…" Quinn sighed as she watched the red and white uniform vanish from view, "I can't believe I'm doing this." _This is insane! _Reluctantly she followed after her best friend until she lowered herself onto the roof and shimmied her way to sit beside Rachel.

The three sat in silence for a moment, Santana and Quinn sat either side of Rachel.

"You shouldn't be sat up here Rach," Quinn said concerned.

"Shut up mom," Santana shot.

"You could fall," Quinn tried to justify, "it's not safe."

"It's safer than the swings," Rachel mumbled.

Quinn looked at Rachel, pain in her eyes. She wished she could give her back all the things she had lost over the last few months.

"So Berry," Santana broke the awkward silence, "you gonna tell us why you're back in the fucking sweatshirt or am I gonna have to force it out of you?"

"S!" Quinn gawked at the Latina.

"What? Berry knows that whether she's pregnant or not, I'll kick her ass if I have to."

Rachel just sat there, letting the two other girls argue. She found it odd that the two girls were best friends when they were so different. Well they were different now, she didn't know whether Quinn had been as kind and caring towards her friend the way she had been towards her since they had become friends back when she was still captain of the Cheerios and head bitch.

"Earth to Berry," Santana snapped her fingers in front of Rachel's face, "you ever going to answer me?"

"I didn't want people to see…" Rachel let her words trail off as she tried to figure out a way to explain what she hadn't wanted to reveal.

"I knew you were hiding!" Santana shot a look of triumph at Quinn, "I hate to tell you this Berry but everyone knows that you're pregnant. It's a bit late to change your mind and try to hide it."

"That's not what I didn't want people to see," Rachel was hesitant.

"Then what the fuck are you hiding?"

Rachel sat playing with her sleeves, mentally preparing herself to reveal the injuries she had inflicted on herself in her fit of anger.

Quinn couldn't fight the sense of panic that had suddenly gripped her, as much as she didn't want to think it and she knew that Rachel wouldn't, there was a small voice in the back of her head voicing her worst fear when it came to the small diva – _She tried to finish what you stopped her from doing when you found her in the shower._

"You're not going to drop this are you?" Rachel asked, more to Santana than Quinn.

"She won't," Quinn answered before Santana got the chance, "she's like a dog with a bone."

"One, fuck you Fabray! Two, she's right Berry," Santana looked at Rachel, her words may have been the same as always but she couldn't keep the concern from her eyes.

"Fine, I give in," Rachel admitted defeat, too tired to try and put up a fight. She put her arms out in front of her and stretched until her sleeves gathered around her elbows.

Quinn studied Rachel's hands, taking in the hues of purple, black, yellow and blue that tinged the skin of Rachel's knuckles. The blonde noticed the split skin on Rachel's right hand. She couldn't understand how Rachel's hands had ended up in such a state, "What happened to you?"

"Jesus Berry! I know I told you to hit someone," Santana was surprised by the damage on Rachel's hands, "but I didn't mean you should go out and beat some fucker to death."

"I didn't hit anyone," her voice was quiet, underlined with shame.

"Then what the fuck did you beat the shit out of?" Santana had seen her fair share of bruised knuckles, more than a couple of times they had been her own bruised knuckles but even her knuckles weren't this bruised after she had laid into Karofsky.

"I just got so angry," the confusion resonated in Rachel's voice.

Quinn and Santana sat in silence, patiently waiting for Rachel to continue.

"I had another dream and I couldn't get back to sleep. I was thinking about things. There was so much noise, it felt like everything was demanding my attention." The words fell surprisingly easy from her lips, the anger from last night that had led her to this point dimly simmered beneath her skin, "I tried to distract myself. I thought that having a shower would maybe help. He was there, everywhere I looked he was there just smirking at me." She paused to examine her knuckles, flexing her fingers she watched as the bruises shifted under her skin. "I was so angry…I just, I don't know, I guess lashed out would be the phrase my counselor would use. Every thought I had…it all came back to him a-and what he did to me…all of it was his fault and he doesn't have to deal with this…"

Neither Quinn nor Santana missed that Rachel had blamed Karofsky, finally she was putting the blame where it truly belonged.

Rachel winced when she closed her right hand, the split skin cracking enough to slightly reopen the wound. "I don't think I've ever felt so angry," she admitted.

"Just so we're clear here," Santana questioned, "you beat the fuck out of the shower?"

Rachel snorted, "Mostly the shower wall."

"Maybe we should take you to get your hands checked out," Quinn couldn't take her eyes away from the bruises, "make sure you didn't do any serious damage."

"They're fine," she fought back the urge to flinch as she unfurled her right hand.

"Berry you're hands look like fucking skittles!"

"Honestly they're ok," Rachel decided that a half-truth wasn't lying, "I mean sure it hurts but that's what I get for hitting a wall right? They're just bruised, it looks worse than it is."

Quinn studied Rachel's face, beneath the anger in the chocolate eyes she could see something else it was almost a mixture of longing and sadness combined with something else that she couldn't quite figure out, "What else were you thinking about last night sweetie?"

Rachel turned to face Quinn, not understanding how it was the blonde seemed to know what questions to ask when she needed to get something off of her chest, "My mo-Shelby."

"What about her?" Quinn probed gently, Rachel had never really discussed her mother with her before.

"Maybe she didn't want to try because she knew," Rachel's voice became quiet as she admitted the fearful revelation she'd had last night, "that I wasn't worth it."

"That's bullshit!" Santana's voice was soft, "Berry you are worth it, if anything she's not worth it."

"Santana's right Rachel, you're too good for her."

"I used to be so much like her before…all of this," Rachel slowly became more sure of herself, "I don't want to be like her."

"You're not like her, you're you," Quinn tried to comfort her.

"No not like that. So we like to perform and we're both good at what we do…" Rachel took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves, "but I realised something. I don't want to do what she did." Santana's face was contorted with confusion, "I have no fucking clue what you're talking about, someone fill me in."

"I don't want to turn up sixteen years later wanting to reconnect with the child I never knew, to drop them again because they grew up on me," Rachel's words were thoughtful, she remembered how much it had hurt when Shelby had denied her the chance to establish a relationship between them.

"You're not like her," Quinn said, "you wouldn't do something like that, you couldn't hurt someone that way."

Rachel thought carefully about what she wanted to say, "I don't want to spend the rest of my life with what ifs, I don't want to wonder every day if I did the right thing, or wonder what they look like every time their birthday comes around." She looked at Quinn, hoping that she would understand in the ways Santana couldn't, "I want to keep the baby, my baby."

"Ok," Quinn nodded in understanding.

"Are you sure about this Berry?" Santana was skeptical, "I hate to point this out but are you going to be able to look at it without thinking of him?"

"I want to try," Rachel had had these thoughts, she knew she wouldn't know until the baby was born whether she'd be able to look at it and not see him, "it's my baby too."

"Ok," Santana nodded.

"I need to ask you guys to do something for me," Rachel voiced quietly, "please don't tell anyone about this."

"What about your dads?" Quinn asked.

"I'll tell them," Rachel promised, "but I just want a few days so I can process this. I wasn't going to tell anyone yet."

"That worked out well," Santana said.

"Yeah," Rachel smiled ruefully, "but in a way I'm kind of glad I told you both."

"Well I'm not gonna say anything," the Cheerio promised.

"I won't either," Quinn added.

"Thank you," Rachel's voice was filled with sincerity.

"Oh God," Santana groaned.

"What?" Rachel felt on edge, afraid that Santana had realised something that would lead her back to questioning whether or not she wanted to keep her baby.

"You're keeping the baby," the Cheerio shook her head, "you do realise what this means don't you Q?"

A small smile graced Quinn's lips, she knew exactly what her best friend was about to say, "No S, why don't you tell me what it means?"

"We're gonna have another Rachel fucking Berry running around," her tone was mocking. It wasn't exactly what most people would call normal, but it was her way of letting Rachel know that she respected her decision, "We're gonna have to go through all the baby drama again."

"Look at it this way S," Quinn couldn't help but laugh at the thought when it occurred to her, "at least she's not going to go into labor at Regional's."

"This is true," Rachel joined in, "my timing will be much better."

"It'd better be Berry. I don't think I can go through that shit again."

* * *

**Attention:** Finally I manage a longer update for you all LOL So...what did you think?

Ok so question time...

Out of all the characters who (whether it be them or their parents) do you think would listen to Shania Twain? I promise it's not as random as it sounds and that there's a point to it. I'm thinking maybe Finn's mom but I'm not sure.

I had another question but it's apparently decided to go for a walk so I guess it'll have to wait.

I look forward to reading what you guys think!

Thank you so much for all the reviews, they keep me going.

MUCHO love goes out to **chunkmunk09, **this chapter would've sucked without your help! Thank you so much for putting up with all my ramblings!


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Rachel takes a step towards mending her relationship with her dads. Time to find out whether Rachel is having a boy or a girl AND a little bit of an awww moment for all those people that keep asking me for FaBerry moments.

**Warning: **Language. Violence.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

Rachel had grown used to Quinn and Puck's routine of who Beth was staying with, she realised that the situation wasn't ideal for either of them but they were doing their best for their baby girl. She realised that she wouldn't have that, the she really was going to be a single mom now that she had decided to keep her baby. She regretted that thought the moment she had it, it didn't do anything to help calm her nerves about talking to Quinn.

"You ok baby girl?" Mercedes asked as she turned into the school parking lot, "You're awfully quiet this morning."

"Yeah, I'm just tired I guess."

Quinn look over her shoulder at Rachel, a questioning look tainting her features, she could tell that Rachel had something on her mind.

The car came to a stop and the three girls got out of the car. The parking lot was pretty full already and just as they were making their way toward the entrance Kurt came rushing up to Mercedes and linked his arm with hers.

"Hello ladies," he greeted all of them before turning his attention to Mercedes, "you are not going to believe what happened last night."

Rachel started to slow her pace, letting Mercedes and Kurt get ahead of her. She stopped just outside the front doors, pulling nervously on her sleeves to cover the slow fading bruises on her knuckles from the rest of the school.

"Rachel what's wrong?" Quinn's eyes were full of concern, something was seriously troubling Rachel and if possible she seemed more hesitant of going into school than she had done when Karofsky was still there.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" she walked away from the front of the school towards a section where there was hardly any students.

"You're worrying me, what's wrong?"

"What you said the other day about it being ok to need people…" she couldn't remember the last time she had felt this nervous around Quinn, not since she had apologised for telling Finn that Puck was the father, "did you mean that?"

"Of course I did. Why wouldn't I?"

Rachel continued to tug nervously on her sleeves, "Do you think…would you be ok to stay over tonight?"

"Yeah of course," Quinn couldn't understand why Rachel was so nervous about asking her to stay over, "are you a jibbering wreck because you were worried I'd say no?"

"I was a little bit worried," Rachel admitted.

"Ok so what else are you worried about?" Quinn thought about it for a moment, "Are you planning on telling your dads tonight, is that why you want me to come over?"

"I don't know if I'm going to tell them tonight."

"Then what's wrong? I don't think I've ever seen you so jittery about going into school."

"I just…" she tried to suppress a yawn, "I've been having really bad dreams lately. Worse than normal."

"He's not here Rach," Quinn put all the pieces together, "he's locked behind bars where he can't get you."

"I know, he's sharing some cell with Bubba."

"Bubba?" Quinn couldn't help but smile at the ridiculousness.

"I didn't come up with it," Rachel relaxed a little, the nightmare feeling a little less like a reality, "Santana came up with it."

"Oh really?" Rachel nodded, "S is not going to hear the end of this for a while."

"She'll kill me," Rachel feigned despair.

"You ready to go in, or do you want a few more minutes?" Quinn asked.

"I'll be fine," Rachel tried to convince herself, "I just need to remember there's no way he can be here."

Quinn linked her arm with Rachel's, "Besides he'd have to be beyond stupid to even think about it, I'd kill him if he even dared to show up and that's only if Santana and Puck didn't beat me to it."

* * *

Rachel paced back and forth in her bedroom.

"If you keep that up you're going to wear a whole in the carpet," Quinn said from her position on the bed.

"I can't help it," Rachel showed no signs of stopping, "what if they think it's a bad idea and try to force me into adoption?"

"Have they ever forced you to do anything you didn't want to do before?"

"No, but that doesn't mean they won't now. This isn't exactly a normal situation."

"I know that Rach, but your dads they love you more than anything in this world. They'd do anything for you."

"I don't think I can wait anymore," Rachel headed towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Quinn called after Rachel as she followed her.

"I'm going to go tell my dads before I back out," Rachel was at the top of the stairs.

"Rachel wait! Stop, just take a minute to calm down," Quinn tried to reason with the determined girl, "this isn't something you can just blurt out."

"If I don't tell them now Quinn, I don't think I'll be able to," Rachel was off done the stairs as fast as she could.

_Damn. _Quinn rushed after her, and followed Rachel into the lounge. _Oh thank you God!_

Rachel felt the sudden urge to tell her fathers flee her body as soon as she noticed that only one of them was in the lounge.

"Where's daddy?"

"In the kitchen," Hiram answered, "probably making a God awful mess, why what's up Rae?"

She stalled for a moment, her resolve faltering. _I have to do this._ "I need to talk to you both about something."

"That sounds pretty ominous," Hiram stood from his chair, "why don't you sit down? I'll go get your daddy."

Rachel and Quinn sat on the couch, while they waited for Hiram to return with Leroy.

Quinn sensing Rachel's nervousness, placed a hand on Rachel's knee, "You can do this."

Rachel nodded silently, too afraid that if she opened her mouth that she would start rambling and not be able to stop.

"Rae?" Leroy called as he entered the room, "Are you ok sweetheart? You dad said you wanted to talk to us about something."

"I do," she forced herself to speak.

Leroy sat in the armchair, with Hiram perched on the arm, "We're all ears Rae."

"Ok, erm…" Rachel gulped and wished for the courage she had upstairs to return, "what would you say if I were to tell you that I was thinking about keeping the baby?"

Hiram glanced at his husband, "We'd say that we'd support you no matter what your decision was."

"But," Leroy stared at his little girl, "you need to realise that it's not going to be easy. This isn't like Quinn's situation. You won't be able to take a few days break while the baby stays with someone else."

"I know," Rachel said quietly.

"What about when it comes to going to college?" Hiram asked.

"I'm going to put it off for a year or two," Rachel had already formulated a plan, "take the time to figure out what it is I want to do."

"What happened to Juliard?" Leroy asked, "Ever since you were little you wanted to go there, that was always your dream."

"I'm not little anymore Daddy, I don't know what I want to do right now when it comes to college. I think I need to take time to figure out what it is I want to do with my life," Rachel was surprised with her answer. She honestly didn't know what she wanted to do in the future, so much had changed, she had changed.

Hiram's seemed somehow emphasised when he asked, "What if we told you the baby was a boy, would that have anything to do with your decision?"

"No," Rachel said without hesitation, "I know that I won't love the baby right away, I'm not that foolish but you always taught me that love doesn't care about your race, gender, religion, where you come from or about the things in your past."

Leroy smiled at his daughter, "When did you get so grown up?"

Rachel looked at both of her fathers "I want to keep my baby," she stated simply.

Hiram and Leroy stared at each other, neither of them had missed the my in that sentence. They stared at each other for a few moments, silently communicating with each other in that annoying way that only couples can do.

"I suppose," Leroy drew out his words, "we'd better start thinking about turning the guest room into a nursery."

"Rae," Hiram was proud of the strength his daughter was showing, "if this is what you really want then you have our full support and like your Daddy says we'll convert the guest room into a nursery but don't be think that you can't change your mind later on. You've still just over four months to go."

"This is what I want," Rachel knew what she was saying, what she committing herself to and what she would sacrificing but she knew it was what she wanted, "I want to try Dad."

"Ok sweetheart."

Quinn sat beside Rachel in silence, amazed at what Rachel was saying. She didn't know what she would do if she found herself in Rachel's situation but she was certain that she wouldn't be as compassionate towards the child within her they way Rachel was.

Rachel chewed on her lip, "Is it a boy?"

"I didn't think you wanted to know Rae?" Leroy questioned.

"I didn't want to know until I had decided what I wanted to do," Rachel was honest, for the first time in since January she felt like things were improving between her and her dads. She wasn't quite ready to return back to normal and cuddle up with them on a Friday night for what had once been their traditional film night, but it was getting easier to talk to them again. "I didn't want it to affect my decision."

"You really did go and grow up on us," Hiram echoed his husbands earlier words, his voice filled with pride. Despite everything she had been through, the Rachel they had raised, the one with strong convictions and strength to keep going when things were rough was still there and they were seeing more and more of that Rachel with each day that passed. "It's a girl Rach."

"A girl?" Rachel tried to process the information.

"Yeah," Hiram nodded, "you're going to have a little girl."

Rachel nodded deftly and whispered, "I'm going to have a daughter."

"You ok sweetie?" Quinn asked.

"Yeah, I just…I don't know. I can't describe it," Rachel admitted.

"Someone call the record books," Leroy laughed, "my daughter is speechless."

Hiram yawned, "Oh God what time is it?"

Leroy looked at his watch, "It's late, it's almost quarter to eleven."

"Right well I'm going to have to say goodnight," Hiram kissed his husband and stood up, "not too much longer ok girls?" Hiram had gotten into the habit of kissing Quinn and Mercedes on top of their heads goodnight and did it without thinking.

"Night Hiram."

"Dad…" Rachel contemplated just wishing him goodnight but decided that if she could tell her fathers she wanted to keep her baby that she could test herself that little bit further, "where's my goodnight kiss?"

Hiram stopped, he almost asked Rachel to repeat what she'd just said but worried that if he did she might change her mind. He turned to his daughter and gently pressed his lips to her forehead, "Night baby."

"Are you talking to me or the baby?" Rachel joked, trying to calm her nerves, this was the closest she had been to her dad in almost five months.

"You of course," Hiram smiled, "not too late," he repeated once more before he left the room and went upstairs.

"Maybe we should go too," Rachel said, "we still have that thing called school to go to."

"You had to remind me," Quinn groaned.

Rachel walked over to Leroy and replicated Hiram's actions and kissed Leroy's forehead, "Night Daddy."

"Night baby, sweet dreams."

"Night Leroy," Quinn gave him a quick squeeze, she'd learnt from her time spent at the Berry's that they weren't anything like her parents, affection was a welcomed presence.

"Night Quinn."

Ten minutes later and Quinn emerged from Rachel's en suite changed into her pyjamas. "So…how do you feel now that you know she's a girl?"

"I don't know," Rachel admitted, "scared."

"Why are you scared?"

"What if I can't do it? What if I can't be a good mom?"

"That's how I know you're going to be a good mom," Quinn said as she placed her folded clothes by her bag, "you're worried about whether you will be or not."

"Really?"

"Really."

Rachel stood and walked up to Quinn, "Quinn I…" she wrapped her arms around the blonde, unable to find the words to express how truly grateful she was for her.

Quinn found it slightly odd that Rachel was hugging her, she had gotten so used to being the one who gave the smaller girl hugs that being on the receiving end of one was slightly alien.

Rachel stood on her tiptoes and gently pressed her lips to Quinn's cheek, "Thank you."

It happened so quick that Quinn barely had a chance to register Rachel's lips against her cheek. "You're welcome," her brain buzzed with a thousand different responses and this was the only one that she could get her voice to work with. It took her a moment to regain full function, "Let's go to bed, it's been a long day."

* * *

**Attention:** Ok so what do you think? Did the awww moment work? LOL

I remembered the question I forgot in the previous chapter, apparently it's finished it's walk now.

Is a competition like Regional's held on a weekday or at the weekend? I have to ask cos I have no clue!

Also I know I said Jesse would not be making an appearance in this story but I may have found a use for him after so would you like to see a cameo from Jesse St. James?

Anyways I'm really nervous about what you all think about this chapter, it was difficult for me to write.

I really look forward to your reviews and thoughts.


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Rachel tells Artie her decision and is surprised by his response & it's the second annual set list nominations party for the Glee club.

**Warning: **Language. Violence.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

Artie and Rachel were the only two people, with the exception of the librarian, sat in the library. The vast majority of the student body were sat outside on the fields enjoying the spring sunshine.

"I can't believe Regional's is only a week away," Artie said, "it seems a little surreal."

"Are you looking forward to it?" Rachel asked.

"A little bit yeah, you?"

"I'm feeling a bit nervous about it to be honest."

"What?" Artie feigned shock, "Rachel Berry is nervous about performing? What is the world coming to?"

"I'm not nervous about performing," Rachel couldn't help but smile at the ridiculous faces Artie had pulled.

"What are you nervous about then?" he asked becoming more serious.

"Shelby."

"Ah…" Artie nodded in understanding, "you're worried that she's going to come up and start asking questions?"

"She doesn't know about any of this," Rachel sighed, "I haven't even seen her since last Regional's. She's going to want to know when it happened, who the father is, if I'm keeping her."

"So tell her it's none of her business," Artie paused for a moment, his brain finally processing Rachel's words, "wait…her?"

"So you caught that bit huh?"

"Well yeah Houdini you've gone from it to her! When the hell did this happen and where have I been?"

Rachel smiled at the confused look on Artie's face, "You know if you keep pulling faces like that you're going to get premature wrinkles and you've not been anywhere, this is new information still."

"Ok," Artie eyed her suspiciously, "why do I get a feeling there's a lot more to this new information than you're letting on?"

"Because apparently you know me a little too well," she hesitated for a moment, "you're going to think I'm crazy."

"I don't think, I know."

Rachel looked at Artie sheepishly, "I'm keeping her."

"Are you happy about it?"

"I don't know how I'm supposed to answer that," Rachel was truthful, "this isn't exactly a pregnancy anyone would be thrilled about."

"True," Artie's brow furrowed in concentration as he tried to rephrase the question.

"It was my decision," Rachel put the poor boy out of his misery.

"Really?"

Rachel nodded, "I want to keep her."

"Well in that case I guess I'm happy for you or whatever it is that applies to this," Artie floundered.

"Thank you," Rachel said sincerely, "I wanted to tell you before I told everyone else."

"Does anyone else know?"

"My dads," she was reluctant to tell him, she didn't want to hurt his feelings, "Quinn and Santana know, I kind of inadvertently blurted it out at them."

"You blurted that out in front of Santana?" Artie laughed, "I bet her face was a sight to see, I wish I'd been there."

"I don't know, I wasn't really looking," Rachel felt unsure, "so you're not mad at me?"

"What? I was right you are crazy!" Artie wound his finger by the side of his head, "I'm honored that you told me before the rest of Glee, although I'm sure that will upset a few people."

"Probably," Rachel knew it was probably best not to let the rest of the Glee club know that other members had been told before the collective, "but I wanted to tell you before everyone else."

"Awww," Artie grinned, "Houdini I have one thing to say about this rather shocking piece of news."

"What's that?" Rachel asked, suddenly feeling nervous.

"I got first dibs on cuddles with mini Houdini."

"Mini Houdini?" Rachel considered the nickname for a moment, "I like it." She smiled at the boy who had for a reason neither of them could explain become her best friend, "But if mini Houdini vanishes on me, I'm holding you responsible!"

"How will it be my fault?"

"Because you nicknamed her!" Rachel pointed out.

"Damn me!" Artie looked at Rachel, he would never have believed anyone if they had said to him last year that by this time he would think of Rachel as his closest friend, "When are you going to tell the others?"  
"I'm not sure," Rachel twirled the pencil in her hand, "I mean I could tell them later at the set list nomination, but I don't want to bring everyone down but at the same time I need to tell them before Regional's and it wouldn't be a good idea to tell them when we're rehearsing for the competition."

"So tell them at the set list nomination, you're not going to bring everyone down," Artie reassured her, "you'll surprise them that's for sure. Trust me."

* * *

The Glee club were all sat in Mr. Schue's lounge as they waited for the pizza to arrive, all chatting excitedly about the school year finally coming to an end. Rachel waited for a lull in the conversation, she wanted to get this out of the way before food arrived and the meeting actually began.

Santana watched Rachel cautiously, she could tell that the Glee captain had something she wanted to say but everyone was so busy talking she just couldn't find a way in. "Hey morons!" the Latina shouted, she smirked at the instant silence she achieved, "Berry's trying to say something."

"Erm…" Rachel stood up nervously, "I…" she cleared her throat, "I wanted to tell you all something before Regional's and I'm not entirely sure how to tell you so I'm just going to say it." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, not wanting to see the reactions when the words left her lips, "I'm keeping the baby, I'm having a little girl."

The room was filled with tense silence as every person there tried to process what Rachel had just told them, even Mr. Schue found himself at a loss for words.

Artie looked around the room, and realized that no one was going to say anything until someone else broke the silence. He looked over at Rachel and noticed that she was fascinated with the floor, he knew how to fix this. "Dibs on first cuddles with mini Houdini!"

The room erupted into chatter, everyone arguing over who would get to hold Rachel's little girl after Artie. Rachel looked up at Artie with a smile and mouthed a silent thank you.

Everyone was so busy chatting that they didn't notice Mr. Schue leave the room to answer the door until he returned carrying boxes of pizza.

"Dig in guys," he announced to the group, "now that we've had our excitement and we've got pizza I think it's time to declare that the second annual Regional's set list nomination party has officially begun." His announcement was met with cheers, "Alright settle down. Now this year we're lucky, Coach Sylvester isn't on the judging panel," he was interrupted by applause and woops of excitement, "that doesn't mean we can slack off. If we learnt anything from last year it's that the other teams are just as good, maybe better."

The excitement died down as they paid attention to what their teacher was telling them, he was right last year when they had left the stage they had gotten cocky.

"Right then," Mr. Schue clapped his hands together, "before we kick off with the nominations would anyone else like to say something?"

She played with the hem of her shirt, no matter how hard it was she knew that she needed to suggest what had been running through her head in the lead up to now, "Mr. Schue?"

"Yes Rachel?"

"I have an idea of what we could do for Regional's…"

* * *

**Attention:** So bet you didn't expect me to end that there did ya? LOL I know I'm evil and cruel and a multitude of other things that I can't think of right now LOL

Right I don't think I have any questions for this chapter but knowing me I'll come up with some now long after I've posted this - I hate sods law!

To everyone that's asked me not to make Jesse an ass - SORRY! It's gonna happen, he was an ass on the show and he'll be an ass in this story - but that's only if I decide to include him.

Please review! They really do help me to keep going with this story.

Oh yeah, sorry this chapter was so short, but the next chapter will probably be insanely long so it all works out in the end :)

I look forward to hearing what you all think.


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Regional's has arrived! Time for our favourite Glee club to sing their hearts out. Erm...right before I forget Keep Holding On is written to be performed pretty much the same as it was on the show which is why there are no qualifiers as to who is singing which part. Also the bits in italics are flashbacks to the set list nomination party. Just to clear up any confusion I know that this would probably lead to.

**Warning: **

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

"Right guys," Mr. Schuester came into the waiting area, "we're up next."

"You ready for this?" Quinn whispered.

"No," Rachel laced her fingers with Quinn's, "but I'm going to do it anyway."

They filed out of the room and made their way onto the stage, Quinn giving Rachel's hand a reassuring squeeze before detangle her fingers so that she could take her spot.

**Ha ha ha ha ha**

** Ha ha ha ha ha**

** Ha ha ha ha ha**

** Ha ha ha ha ha**

_"What's your idea Rachel?" Mr. Schue asked._

_ "What if we didn't sing to win?" Rachel put forward._

_ "I don't think I understand," Mr. Schue was honestly confused._

** You're not alone, together we stand. I'll be by your side you know I'll take your hand.**

**When it gets cold and it feels like the end there's no place to go, you know I won't give in.**

** No I won't give in.**

_"What if we didn't just sing," Rachel's eyes darted towards Quinn, "what if we made people feel the lyrics?"_

_ "How are we supposed to do that?" Kurt asked, "It's not exactly like you're going to sing Long Way to Happy again any time soon."_

_ "You're wrong," Rachel said simply. _

** Keep holding on, cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through. Just stay strong**

** Cause you know I'm here for you, there's nothing you can say**

** Nothing you can say**

** Nothing you can do**

** Nothing you can do**

** There's no other way when it comes to the truth so**

** Keep holding on**

** Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through.**

_ "If we sing songs that actually mean something to us," Rachel continued, "we can do it, we can make people feel the lyrics."_

_ "What songs would we do though Rae?"_

_ "I have an idea for two of them, but I'm stuck for a third."_

**So far away, I wish you were here. Before it's too late this could all disappear.**

** Before the doors close and it comes to and end, with you by my side I will fight and defend, I'll fight and defend yeah yeah.**

_"I'll do Long Way To Happy again," her eyes focused on Quinn, "if we can do Keep Holding On for the group piece?"_

_ "It makes sense," Quinn nodded, "that song has so much meaning by itself but when you look at everything we've been through together the last two years, at one point or another we've always pulled each other through."_

** Keep holding on, cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through. Just stay strong**

** Cause you know I'm here for you, there's nothing you can say**

** Nothing you can say**

** Nothing you can do**

** Nothing you can do**

** There's no other way when it comes to the truth so**

** Keep holding on**

** Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through. Hear me when I say I'll believe. Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny. Whatevere's mean to be will work out perfectly.**

** Yeah yeah yeah yeah**

** La la la la **

** La la la la**

** La la la la**

** La la la la**

** Keep holding on cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through. Just stay strong cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you.**

_ "What are we going to do about the lift?" Puck asked, "It's probably not safe for Rachel to be lifted up and spun around in circles."_

_ "Man's got a point," Mercedes agreed._

_ "I can switch with Brittany when it gets to the lift," Rachel's mind race as she tried to piece it all together, "we can work the choreography so that we switch, I can dance with Artie for the lift and then we can switch back so it's not too drastic a change."_

**There's nothing you can say.**

** Nothing you can say.**

** Nothing you can do.**

** Nothing you can do.**

** There's no other way**

** When it comes to the truth so keep holding on**

** Cause you know we'll make it through, well make it through.**

** Ha ha ha ha ha**

** Ha ha ha ha ha**

** Ha ha ha ha ha**

_"We just need a third song," Rachel pointed out, "I'm lost on this one, I couldn't think of one that would mean something to everyone."_

_ "Too bad there's not a song about all this baby drama," Santana said from her corner. _

_ "Why would you suggest that?" Rachel asked confused._

_ "Think about it Berry, last year it was Quinn, this year it's you. There's been so much baby drama and we've all been there through it with you both. We've watched Beth go from tiny baby to crawling monster, we've all looked after her or helped out with her at some point and we'll do the same for you when your little girl is born."_

_ "I don't think there's a song for that," Rachel offered Santana a watery smile, that was the kindest thing she had ever heard the Cheerio say to anyone. _

** Keep holding on.**

** Ha ha ha ha ha**

** Ha ha ha ha ha**

** Ha ha ha ha ha**

** Keep holding on. There's nothing you can say.**

** Nothing you can say.**

** Nothing you can do.**

** Nothing you can do.**

_"I know a song," Finn spoke up nervously. _

_ "You do?" Mr. Schue asked hopefully._

_ "My mom listens to this country singer," Finn thought for a moment, "erm…Shania something."_

_ "Twain?" Quinn supplied, remembering the many times she had heard the singer's voice float through the Hudson household when she had been with Finn. _

_ "Yeah," he smiled his trademark lazy smile at her, "she has this song that's about being a teenage mom or something along those lines, mom explained it to me but there was a game on," he explained sheepishly. _

_ "Can you remember what it was called?" Rachel asked. _

** There's no other way **

** When it comes to the truth so keep, keep holding on**

** Cause you know we'll make it through we'll make it through.**

The group started singing the start of the next song together.

** I'm gonna hold on**

** Cause what I believe in is so strong**

** No matter how long, no one**

** Can tell me I'm wrong I ain't goin' down.**

The group turned so that their backs were to the audience, leaving Rachel and Quinn to step forward.

**I had a baby at fifteen**

** Daddy never did forgive me **

** I never heard from the guy again**

** I had to drop outta high school**

** Everybody treated me so cruel**

** But I didn't give in and give her away**

The group turned round and joined the pair in the chorus.

**I'm gonna hold on**

** Cause what I believe in is so strong**

** No matter how long, no one**

** Can tell me I'm wrong I ain't goin' down.**

_They sat in front of Mr. Schue's computer looking at the lyrics._

_ "Finn," Quinn was surprised, "this is perfect."_

_ "It is?"_

_ "Yeah."_

_ "So we're agreed then?" asked Mr. Schue._

**Her smile got me through the day**

** And every night I'd pray**

** I could give her enough**

** At night I'd lie awake and cry **

** Hoping we'd get by**

** Cause you can't live on love**

_ Quinn pointed at the lyrics on the screen, "Puck," she said simply._

_ "But it's about teenage moms," Puck said._

_ "Defying Gravity was sung by a woman that didn't stop Kurt," Quinn pointed out, "you have to sing this, you work so hard for Beth, it wouldn't be right if you didn't sing it."_

Puck stepped away from the group, to sing the solo that had practically been forced on him.

**I worked night and day to keep us goin'**

** Through the sweat and tears**

** Without her knowin'**

** It was worth it just to watch her grow**

Quinn took Puck's hand, her eyes scanning the crowd until she located her mom cradling Beth as she sang with Puck and Rachel.

**Oh, oh, at least I was able to hold her**

** Whenever she needed my shoulder**

** I'm so glad I never let her go**

Puck broke away from Quinn and Rachel and returned to his place with the group.

**I'm gonna hold on**

** Cause what I believe in is so strong**

** No matter how long, no one**

** Can tell me I'm wrong I ain't goin' down.**

Quinn and Rachel stood side by side, their palms pressed together and fingers intertwined. Neither had ever thought they would see the day where there was a song that they would not only both relate to but share together.

**Her smile got my through the years**

** Dried away the tears**

** And filled me with hope**

** As night I'd lie awake and cry**

** Prayed we would get by**

** And for the courage to cope **

** Oh, oh, oh**

_"What are we going to do about costumes?" Tina asked._

_ "I don't know," Rachel answered, "Mercedes?"_

_ "Well the choreography is going to be pretty simple, so I think we should do the same with clothes," Mercedes said thoughtfully, "we want people to focus on the lyrics and not what we're doing or what we're wearing."_

_ "So…" Tina prompted._

_ "Jeans, white short sleeved button ups and plain black and white Converse."_

**Her smile got me through the day**

** And every night I'd pray**

** I could give her enough**

The group sang together, all the while performing simple dance routines that complimented the song.

**I'm gonna hold on**

** Cause what I believe in is so strong**

** No matter how long, no one**

** Can tell me I'm wrong I ain't goin' down.**

Artie broke away from the group to set himself up for their final song.

**I'm gonna hold on**

** Cause what I believe in is so strong**

** No matter how long, no one**

** Can tell me I'm wrong I ain't goin' down.**

_"What order should we do the songs in?" Mike questioned._

_ "Isn't it obvious?" Kurt said incredulously, "Ugh boys! We should do a three, two, one approach."_

_ "You just made that up," Mercedes laughed, "go on, what's a three, two, one."_

_ "Group, duet, solo," Kurt smiled triumphantly, "save the best for last."_

Quinn walked away from Rachel their fingers outstretched until they were no longer touching as they finished the song off.

**No one can tell me I'm wrong**

** I ain't goin' down**

The lights dimmed for a few moments as Artie played the extended intro for the song the same way he had the first time, when they returned back to normal they revealed Rachel sat on the floor in the centre of the stage.

**One night to you**

** Lasted six weeks for me**

** Just a bitter little pill now**

** Just to try to go to sleep**

** No more waking up to innocence**

** Say hello to hesitance**

** To everyone I meet**

** Thanks to you years ago**

** I guess I'll never know what love means to me but oh**

Rachel slowly stood up.

**I'll keep on rolling down this road**

** But I've got a bad, bad feeling**

_"How are we going to break up Long Way To Happy?" Rachel asked._

_ "That's your song," Artie said, "why do we need to break it up?"_

_ "We've all got to sing," Rachel said simply._

_ "Rachel's right," Mr. Schue admitted, "you've all got to participate in one way or another."_

_ "Then why don't we just do the chorus?" Quinn suggested, "It's your song Rach, you should sing as much of it as you can without us."_

**It's gonna take a long time to love**

** It's gonna take a lot to hold on**

** It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah**

** Left in the pieces that you broke me into**

** Torn apart but now I've got to**

** Keep on rolling like a stone**

** Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy**

Rachel dragged her fingers across her face,

**Let my childhood behind **

** In a roll away bed**

** Everything was so damn simple**

stopping when she had a fistful of her in her hand.

**Now I'm losing my head**

** Trying to cover up the damage**

** And pad out all the bruises**

** Too young to know I had it**

** So it didn't hurt to lose it**

The group echoed **didn't hurt to lose it**

** No but oh**

** I'll keep on rolling down this road**

** But I've got a bad, bad feeling**

Rachel let the group carry the chorus as she walked across stage to meet where Artie was playing guitar.

**It's gonna take a long time to love**

** It's gonna take a lot to hold on**

** It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah**

** Left in the pieces that you broke me into**

** Torn apart but now I've got to**

** Keep on rolling like a stone**

** Cause it's gonna be a long long way**

Rachel knelt in front of Artie, the girls of the group following suit in front of their male counterparts.

**Now I'm numb as hell and I can't feel a thing**

** But don't worry about regret or guild cause I never knew your name**

Rachel grabbed hold of the jean material around Artie's calves, the girls still mimicking her movements.

**I just want to thank you**

** Thank you**

** Form the bottom of my heart**

** For all the sleepless nights**

** And for tearing me apart yeah yeah**

All the girls balled up their fists and banged them against the thighs of the boys stood in front of them while Rachel resurrected herself from her position on the floor.

**It's gonna take a long time to love**

** It's gonna take a lot to hold on**

** It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah**

** Left in the pieces that you broke me into**

** Torn apart but now I've got to **

** Keep on rolling like a stone**

** Cause it's gonna be a long, long way **

The rest of the group silenced.

**It's gonna take a long time to love**

** It's gonna take a lot to hold on**

** It's gonna be a long, long, long, long way to happy yeah**

The instruments became duller as they slowly faded out, leaving Rachel's voice alone.

**Left in the pieces that you broke me into**

** Torn apart but now I've got to**

** Keep on rolling like a stone**

Rachel lowered herself back to the floor until she virtually horizontal, even when they had rehearsed it, the movement had reminded her of when she had ended up sprawled out on the auditorium floor because she had voiced the word she hadn't wanted to admit.

**Cause it's gonna be a long, long way to happy.**

**

* * *

**

**Attention:** Ok so what'd you think? I have no knowledge of dancing, singing or performing in general so I apologise if this is wrong on a whole new level of wrong.

Right just so you know - Regional's isn't over yet, oh no I have a lot in store.

Erm...ooo question -

What do you think the results will be for New Directions this time? Will they lose again or will they at least place, maybe even dare I say it win?

For anyone who wants to know the songs are as follows...

Keep Holding On - Glee cast version, originally Avril Lavigne.

I Ain't Going Down - Shania Twain.

Long Way To Happy - P!nk

Erm...so yeah I look forward to hearing what people think of this chapter, it was really difficult to write, and I mean really difficult. Last time I attempt to put three songs into one chapter let me tell you LOL

SO please, please review - pretty please?


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Continuation of Regionals. Have you ever wondered what would happen if Quinn's (to quote Santana) mom mode ever got into protective mom mode? Well Jesse's about to find out! Rachel has a confrontation with Shelby AND will New Directions still be together or will the judges end their time as the Glee club we all love?

**Warning: language and a little bit of violence**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

Rachel felt exhausted from those three songs; she had put everything she had into them. Her love for her friends and family, the determination to let Quinn know that this time she was without a shadow of a doubt singing Keep Holding On to her. She poured all her worries and fears about becoming a mom into I Ain't Going Down. She let all her anger, every self-depreciating thought she had had because of what had happened, every nightmare, every time his words echoed inside her head seep into Long Way To Happy. She couldn't wait to get back to the waiting area just so she could sit down for a few moments while they waited for the judges to make their decisions.

"Hello Rachel."

"Jesse?" Rachel couldn't believe it, she hadn't anticipated seeing him at all, "What are you doing here? I thought you graduated."

"I did," he smirked at her, "I came back from New York for the weekend to support my old team."

The rest of New Directions began to take places surrounding Rachel.

Jesse' eyes scanned the full length of Rachel's body, "I see I had a lucky escape." Jesse redirected his attention "So Finn tell me, what exactly did it take to prise apart the stars knees?"

"Watch your mouth," Puck ground out through his teeth.

"Puck?" Jesse laughed, "Well this is a surprise, don't tell me you're two for two and that's your bastard child in Rachel's womb."

Puck clenched his fists at his side, ready to swing for Jesse at any moment.

"I can't say I'm surprised that you're whoring about Rachel," Jesse stared at her, his smug expression freezing her to the spot, the way he spoke to her and the way his eyes continued to rake over her body reminded her of Karofsky, "especially after the Run Joey Run debacle, I should've expected it really."

Puck and Finn started towards Jesse only for Quinn to beat them to it. The blonde didn't even hesitate or pause for thought, as soon as she was in front of the arrogant performer she swiftly brought her knee up so that it connected with his groin hard enough to cause him to double over on the floor in pain.

"Stay the hell away from my family," Quinn spat at him. "If I catch you anywhere near Rachel again I will end you."

Santana came and stood beside Quinn, arms folded across her chest, "Welcome back Q."

Jesse struggled to regain his composure, "She's not your family."

"You stupid shit," Santana stared down at Jesse, "New Directions is family."

"That was," Mr. Shcuester's voice travelled towards them as he came around the corridor, "amazing – what's going on?"

"One of your so-call performers," Jesse started to stand up, "just assaulted me for no good reason that's what's going on."

"I'll give you no good reason," Puck went to lunge at Jesse, only to have Mr. Schuester step in the way.

"Enough," Mr. Schuester looked round at the various faces, "I thought we settled this last year?"

"This isn't anything to do with last year Mr. Schue, " Kurt said as he tried to remain calm.

Brittany stood next to Rachel and draped an arm protectively around her shoulder.

Finn stepped forward, filling in the blanks for Mr. Schue, "He called Rachel a whore," his eyes never left Jesse.

For a brief moment Mr. Schuester contemplated hitting Jesse himself but was able to regain his composure. "I think it's time for you to leave now," he turned so that he facing Jesse head on, his words were calm and cool as he let the arrogant child before him know not to bother trying to press charges, "I'd be a little bit more careful of where you're going, we wouldn't want you to fall down anymore steps now would we?"

Jesse stared at Mr. Schue disbelievingly; he had banked on having his support once he'd mentioned violence. Jesse glared at Quinn before he huffed and stormed off.

"Well," Mr. Schue looked at the Glee club, "why don't we go sit down?"

Everyone agreed and headed back to the waiting area, most of them talking excitedly in hushed whispers over Quinn's actions towards Jesse.

"You ok baby girl?" Mercedes asked as she came up beside Rachel.

"Did that just happen?" Rachel asked slightly dazed.

"Yeah," Mercedes looked over towards Quinn, "it did."

Rachel glanced at Mercedes, "That was…unexpected. I didn't even consider that he would be here."

"I don't think any of us did," Mercedes added, "somehow I don't think he'll be appearing next year."

"I can't believe I froze up," Rachel muttered, "I feel so stupid."

"Forget about him Rae, think about what we just did," Mercedes tried to distract her, "no one else will give a performance like that and it was all your idea, you should be proud of yourself."

They all entered the waiting room. Rachel sat on the couch, Quinn and Santana sat either side of her. Brittany sat on the arm closest to Santana. Artie parked himself by Quinn. Mike and Matt stood off to the side. Tina sat with Mercedes and Kurt, while Finn sat by himself. Puck hovered by the door.

Mr. Schue stood so that he was central to everyone, "Whatever the results are today, I want you all to know I am so very proud of each of you. You were truly amazing."

"We wouldn't be if it weren't for you," Tina smiled at her teacher, remembering how this time last year they had almost lost Glee club.

"Next time I have a great idea like that," Rachel tried to calm her nerves and make light of everything, "someone tell me it's a bad idea." The group looked at her confused. "I am so tired!"

The room erupted into laughter, for a moment they had all thought that Rachel had regretted the songs they had performed, they were so relieved when she said she was tired that all they could do was laugh.

Judy entered the room with Beth in her arms, Hiram and Leroy not far behind her, "You were all brilliant," she beamed at Quinn, "truly."

Puck walked up to Judy, his face silently asking whether he could hold his daughter. Things had been improving with Judy when it came to Quinn and Puck, she had given up drinking completely and was returning back to the mom Quinn and known and loved as a small child before the alcohol had arrived and her father had become hell bent on having the picture perfect family. Judy smiled at Puck as she handed Beth over.

"What'd you think Beth?" Puck held his daughter so that he head rested on his shoulder, "Daddy still your favourite rock star?"

Quinn couldn't help but smile, Puck really had stepped up when it came to Beth, she made a mental note to tell him that he could never be like his dad.

Leroy and Hiram stood in front of the settee where Rachel was sat.

"That was breathtaking Rae," Leroy said proudly.

"We've missed hearing you sing so much," Hiram smiled, "Mercedes told us you were amazing, she never told us you were astounding."

Rachel blushed under her father's gushes of praise, "Thank you."

Quinn was the first to notice the figure standing in the doorway, "Oh shit."

"What?" Santana followed Quinn's gaze, "Oh fucking hell! Is it national asshole day or something?"

Shelby cleared her throat, announcing her presence. The room fell silent as they all stared at her. Her eyes met with Hiram and Leroy, "Can I speak to you a moment?"

Hiram looked worriedly at his daughter, "Make it quick," he said as he went outside the room.

"We'll be back in a minute Rae," Leroy looked at Rachel and offered her a weak smile.

"Did you think I wouldn't notice?" Shelby snapped.

"We're not going to do this," Leroy said calmly, "not today."

"Yes we are," Shelby's words were hard, "you can't honestly think I'm going to let this go. You could have at least called me to warn me about this!"

"We decided that if Rachel wanted you to know she would be tell you," Hiram said, "if she didn't tell you then that was her decision."

"Did she think I wouldn't notice? You gonna stick a pink elephant in the room and hope I don't notice that too?" Shelby's rant was gaining momentum, "I think I have a right to know that my daughter got herself knocked up."

"You gave up your right to call her your daughter," Leroy threw back, "you have no idea what she's been through so stop acting like this is about you."

"Rach," Quinn watched as Rachel stood up, "where are you going?"

"I'm going to go to my dads."

"Are you sure that's a good idea? Wouldn't it be better just to leave them to talk?"

"No. I'm not going to let her blame my dads for this," Rachel said, determination in her voice. She marched out of the room, anger at her response from Jesse's encounter fuelling her. She stopped as soon as she was in hearing distance.

"You should've told me she was pregnant," Shelby continued, "it's not that hard to pick up a phone."

"I didn't want you to know," Rachel said softly.

"What?" Shelby was flabbergasted.

"I said I didn't want you to know," Rachel walked over to the three adults that made up her gene pool.

Shelby tried to make Rachel understand, "You need me now. I know you do, I needed my mom when I was pregnant with you."

Quinn looked over at Mercedes who nodded, the both knew that Rachel would need them. Mercedes knew that Hiram and Leroy were probably struggling with whatever Shelby would throw at them.

The pair stood and left the room, stopping just outside the door when they the saw that Rachel, Hiram, Leroy and Shelby were only a few feet away.

"That's exactly why I didn't want you to know," Rachel admitted, "I needed my mom."

"Rachel," Shelby started only to have Rachel snap at her.

"I'm not finished. I needed my mom to tell me it was ok when I was too scared to go to my dads, to be there when I was humiliated by police examinations and treated like a piece of evidence! I needed my mom for every time I woke up because of him. I needed my mom because I am so scared I don't know what to do. I thought maybe things would be easier to handle if I had a mom there to help me through all of this, but I don't." She noticed the hurt flash in Shelby's eyes, "You made that decision, you were the one that said you're my mother and not my mom. I thought I needed a mom but I can see now that I don't. I have the most amazing dads anyone could ask for and I have friends that have sacrificed their own time to help me. I'm going to get better and it'll be because of them, not because I suddenly had a mom. I don't need you to be my mom because you feel guilty or sorry for me."

Shelby was at a loss for words, Rachel was right it had been her decision not to try and establish a relationship with her teenage daughter and as a result she wasn't there for her when she had needed her most. She wanted to find a way to prove Rachel wrong, but she knew that the girl was right, she did feel guilty for not being there, for being selfish and denying her daughter the mom she had always wanted.

"Could all contestants please make their way to the stage," a voice crackled through the backstage speakers.

"You should go back to your team," Rachel said to Shelby, "I'll see you guys after," she smiled at her dads, she had meant what she'd said about them and she was determined to mend their broken relationship, "wish us luck." Rachel turned and walked back towards the room to find Mercedes and Quinn waiting for her as the rest of New Directions filtered out of the room.

"How long have you been there?" Rachel asked as they started following the group to the stage.

"Long enough to hear you tell her where to go," Mercedes answered.

Rachel nodded, "I can't believe I just did that."

"Today seems to be a day for those moments," Quinn said, "I can't believe I kneed St. James in the balls."

"Neither can I," Rachel admitted. "Remind me after this is done to say thank you," before she made her way over to take her place between Artie and Santana.

The three clubs stood silently as the judges walked past them to the table were the microphone lay. They all waited with bated breath when one of the female judges picked up the microphone and started talking about the importance of Glee club and how all of the contestants had performed admirably.

Artie reached for Rachel's hand and squeezed it gently; he wanted her to know how proud of her he was.

"And now," the woman opened the first envelope, "the 2011 Midwest Regional runners up from Branson, Missouri – Lyrical Infusion."

Cries erupted on stage as the group celebrated. Rachel's shoulders fell in resignation, she had seen Vocal Adrenaline's performance, they had gone for the complex choreography and glam costumes that New Directions had foregone this year because of her idea. _I've ended Glee club._

The judge seemed to be purposely opening the last envelope as slow as physically possible, "Your 2011 Midwest Regional show choir champions…"

_It's over. _

"New Directions!"

_Wait…what?_

_

* * *

_

**Attention: **See I do listen to what you guys put in your reviews! So many people wanted them to win - ask and ye shall receive! LOL

So...did you like it? Sorry to those who didn't want Jesse to be an ass but 1) he is an ass! LOL 2) I really don't like the character and 3) the people who agreed with me about him being an ass kinda outweighed you - so sorry guys!

I know I was horrible to Shelby, but at least I didn't make her horrible - so I gotta get some points for that surely? LOL

Erm...let's see...oh!

Does anyone know (and I don't mean to offend anyone in my phrasing of this) is there a Jewish equivalent to baptism? I'm not trying to be rude or disrespectful or any crap like that, everyone's entitled to their own beliefs, it's just if they do I have a plan for it but it only works if there is a Jewish baptism or equivalent of.

As always a GIGANTIC thank you to **chunkmunk09** for all your help and for making me laugh so hard when I get stuck - I _like_ it when you do that. LMAO

Right well I'll stop prattling on and start working on the next chapter now, I look forward to reading your reviews :)

p.s. hope you're ready for a happy chapter cos that's what I plan to do next haha

**Just want to say thank you to everyone who pointed out my error when it came to Lyrical Infusion, I have no corrected it so they are no longer from Tallahassee, Florida but Branson, Missouri. Thank you to bleed4her who was the first person to respond with a new place that was in the midwest. **


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Time for celebrations! YAY! LOL Ok I apologise now cos this chapter is just sickly sweet fluff as a little filler between the competition and whatever I do next LOL oh and just to clear any confusion Quorn is a brand of veggie foods like burgers, sausages, etc over here. I have no idea what the American equivalent is so I've just kept it as Quorn cos my brain is too tired.

**Warning: SICKLY SWEET **

******Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

The Berry's backyard buzzed with excited chatter, the members of New Directions still riding high on their Regional win the day before. Hiram and Leroy had decided before the competition that they would have a BBQ for the team to celebrate the end of the school year and Beth's first birthday that not everyone would be able to celebrate on the Wednesday, the fact that they had won Regional's just added to the celebrations.

Mike, Matt and Finn were tossing a football between themselves at the bottom of the garden. Puck sat on the grass, Brittany and Santana sat together a few feet away from him, Beth crawling back and forth between the trio. Tina was sat on Artie's lap by the edge of the grass enjoying the sun together. Mercedes and Kurt stood close to the BBQ, alternating between talking between themselves and Leroy and Mr. Schue who were both in charge of the BBQ. Hiram stood off to the side talking with Judy Fabray. Quinn and Rachel had claimed their sun loungers.

"Your mom is seems to be getting on surprisingly well with Dad," Rachel noticed.

"Yeah, she's changed a lot," Quinn watched as Judy and Hiram talked animatedly between themselves, "she never really had a problem with anyone, it was more my dad's way of thinking, she just went a long with it to try and keep him happy."

Rachel turned to face Quinn, "Do you miss him?"

"I thought I would," hazel eyes looked over to where Puck held Beth in the air blowing raspberries on her stomach, "but I really don't. He would've never accepted Beth."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I'm not. He would've only tried to turn her into a stepford child like he did with me and she's perfect the way she is."

"She's lucky to have such an amazing mom," Rachel said sincerely before her tone morphed into light heartedness, "although I'd hate to be anyone that dates her when she's older."

"I am not that bad!" Quinn said defensively.

"Quinn, you kneed Jesse in the crotch!"

"Yeah well he deserved it."

"That's not the issue here. All he did was say a few rather unpleasant things and that was your response," Rachel looked at Quinn and laughed, "what on earth are you going to do when someone breaks Beth's heart?"

"It's never going to happen, so I don't have to worry about it," Quinn grinned at the confused look on Rachel's face, "Puck's decided she's never going to be allowed to date."

* * *

"I can't believe you're going to Washington for two weeks," Kurt sulked, "and without me!"

"You know I'd take you with me if I could," Mercedes comforted, "besides I'm sure you'll be too busy to even notice I'm gone."

"Believe me I'll notice. However you do have a point," he put his hand to his chin thoughtfully, "I am going to be fairly busy this summer."

"What are you concocting in that fabulous mind of yours Kurt?"

"Well I've decided to set myself a project this summer."

"What's the project?" Mercedes was intrigued.

"Finn," Kurt smiled.

"You do know he's straight right?"

"Oh please," Kurt flipped his hand, "I am so over him! No what I should've said was Finn's wardrobe."

"It's not so bad," Mercedes said unconvincingly.

"That's easy for you to say, you don't have to live with it!" Kurt stared at Finn, "He's getting a completely new wardrobe whether he likes it or not."

* * *

Finn came over to where Puck was sat with Brittany and Santana, "Dude you gonna join us for a game or what?"

"Can't," Puck nodded towards his happily gurgling daughter.

"Go on," Santana interrupted, "I'll keep an eye on her."

"You sure?"

"Don't make me change my mind."

"Thanks S," Puck kissed Beth on her head and sat her between Brittany and Santana before joining Finn, Matt and Mike.

Brittany smiled brightly, "You're so gorgeous," she cooed at Beth, "yes you are."

"You can stop looking at her like that B," Santana recognised the look in Brittany's eyes, "I know that look and you can forget it! You are not having one until we're out of college."

"I don't want one," Brittany said absently, "she's just so cute."

"You've got the same look on your face as when you had that bird in your locker," Santana smiled as she remembered how freaked out everyone was about that, "we do not need any more Glee babies."

"Glee babies," Brittany laughed, "hear that Beth? S says you're a Glee baby."

* * *

Hiram and Judy were walking back and forth with plates of food, setting everything up on the long picnic table the Berry's had set up on the far side of the garden.

"So I understand Quinn spends a lot of time here?" Judy asked.

"Yeah she does," Hiram answered, "but we don't mind we love having her and Beth over. We're so grateful to her."

"I think she likes spending time here," Judy said as she walked back with a fresh plate of food, "she talks about you a lot."

"She does? Only good things I hope," Hiram laughed.

"You and Leroy seem to be her role models," Judy said ruefully, knowing that she had once had that opportunity to be a role model but had blown it when she picked up that first glass of vodka, "she says if she can be half as good of a parent as you two are then she'll know she's done right by Beth."

* * *

Leroy finished off putting food on the plates, "I've been meaning to thank you."

"I'm not entirely sure what you're thanking me for," Mr. Schue admitted.

"For getting Rachel singing again," Leroy turned off the BBQ, "I didn't think she'd ever go back to it after…"

"I wish I could take credit for that," Mr. Schue picked up one of the plates, "but I really had nothing to do with it," he started walking towards the table, Leroy following him with the last plate, "all I know is that Artie had something to do with it."

"I'll have to thank him then," Leroy placed the last plate on the table, before shouting to everyone, "grubs up!"

Everyone took a seat at the long table, wrapped up in each other's company.

Mr. Schuester remained standing, "Right before we all dig in, I just want to say thank you to Hiram and Leroy having us all here and to tell you all how proud I am of you. You were remarkable yesterday."

The table sang a chorus of thank yous to Hiram and Leroy, and Mr. Schue sat down waiting for Leroy and Hiram to announce it was time to eat.

"I have something to say," Artie raised his voice and smiled sheepishly as everyone turned their eyes to him, "I just want to say thank you to our captain," his eyes met with Rachel's, "if it weren't for your brilliant idea we probably wouldn't have won yesterday." He was met with hushed agreements. Artie reached forward for his glass, "We couldn't have done it without you Houdini," he raised his glass and nodded at Rachel, the rest of the table following suit.

Rachel's cheeks flared in embarrassment, "Let's eat!" she declared urgently before muttering, "before anyone else feels the need to embarrass me."

The meal was filled with chatter and laughter as they all chowed down on quorn, burgers, sausages and the like. None of the Glee clubbers seemed to take any notice to the fact that Hiram was haphazardly taking pictures of them all.

Quinn excused herself from the table when Beth started to scream on her lap and made her way into the house, "What's all the noise for huh?" Beth continued to scream in her arms as she made her way into the lounge, "You know I'm not exactly happy that you're stinky either."

Leroy laughed causing Quinn to jump, "Jesus!" she turned to see Leroy leaning against the doorframe, "Leroy are you trying to give me a heart attack?" she asked as she placed Beth down on the changing matt that was already spread out on the floor and grabbed the diaper bag.

"I think you're a bit young to be having one of those," Leroy smiled.

"I didn't realise you were behind me," Quinn said as she changed Beth's diaper, "when did you become so stealthy?"

"Apparently just now," Leroy waited for Quinn to finish changing Beth, "I've got something to show you."

"Should I be worried?" Quinn joked.

"God I hope not," Leroy laughed, "it should be a worry free zone unless my husband has been interfering."

* * *

"You're not that attached to Artie right Tina?" Rachel asked jokingly.

"Why?" Tina was cautious, she was still trying to get used to Rachel and Artie's humour when the pair were together.

"Well you wouldn't miss him all that much if I killed him right?"

"You can't kill me," Artie was confident.

"Give me one good reason why I can't?" Rachel stood with her hands on her hips.

"Hmm…" Artie looked thoughtful for a moment, "Mini Houdini!"

"You can't use her as an excuse!"

"Yes I can," he batted back, "I've got first dibs on cuddles with her, it'll be pretty hard to have cuddles if I'm dead and that would leave everyone else waiting a long time for their cuddles."

"I hate your logic when it's right," Rachel mock sulked.

* * *

"I know it's not her birthday until Wednesday," Leroy said as he stopped outside the door opposite his and Hiram's bedroom, "and that everyone has plans for her so we thought we'd give her her present today." He opened the door to reveal his office and wooden cot.

"Does Rachel know that's in here?" Quinn asked thinking that it was for Rachel's unborn daughter.

"Don't be silly, you know Rae can't keep surprises to herself," Leroy smiled, "she gets too excited and she would've probably exploded trying to keep this from you seeing as we ordered it before she decided to keep her baby."

"Well it's hard to keep a surprise from yourself," Quinn said not completely hearing what Leroy had said.

"We've still got the receipt so if it's no good we can take it back and find something else for Beth."

"This is for Beth?" Quinn was confused.

"We thought that seeing as you spend so much time here and with summer coming that it'd be nice for Beth to have a proper cot to sleep in," Leroy worried that they'd done the wrong thing in getting the cot, "I mean of course it doesn't have to stay here you can put it wherever you want, your moms, at home, Puck's…"

Quinn shifted Beth on her hip and walked over to the cot, "It's too much Leroy I can't accept this."

"Don't be silly, of course you can," He placed a hand on the blonde's shoulder, "we wouldn't have got it if we couldn't afford it."

Quinn placed Beth in the cot, and ran her hand along the polished wooden rail, "Are you sure about this?"

"Of course we are," Leroy spoke for himself and Hiram.

Quinn's eyes stayed focused on Beth who happily wriggled inside the cot, "I think she likes it."

* * *

**Attention:** Ok so the last chapter was received much better than I had anticipated LOL Although it's been pointed out to me Tallahassee, Florida = DIPSTICK no where close! LOL Can you tell I've never been round America and was too lazy to google? LOL Right here's a challenge for you - first person to message me with a place that would be eligible for the midwest will be the place I correct it to. On your marks, get set...GO! LOL

Ok questions...hmmmm...

Are you ready for me to jump straight into summer? Cos in all honesty I really don't have anything planned for the last week of school.

Any suggestions for baby names for Rachel?

There was something else but yet again it's gone for a walk about so it obviously can't have been important.

Anyways I look forward to reading your reviews. :)


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Summer's starting and things are looking like they could be getting interesting. Just when Rachel thought her life couldn't get any more complicated than it already is...

**Warning: One use of bad language**

******Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

The last week of school blurred past, winning Regional's hadn't had any affect of the Gleeks social standing within McKinley high, but none of them cared. The last Glee club practice was filled with jokes and laughter and Mr. Schue praising them to no ends.

"You have all come on so far this year," he beamed at them, "I am so very proud to be able to teach you all."

"You just love being able to shove that trophy in Coach Sylvester's face," Puck said.

Everyone laughed, Coach Sylvester hadn't liked sharing the spotlight when it came to winning, in fact it was something she had loathed.

"I want you all to kick back and relax this summer, enjoy yourselves," Mr. Schue steered away from the mention of his tormenting Sue, "because we're going to have to work so much harder when we come back. Nationals are a whole new level."

"Way to take the pressure of Mr. Schue," Mercedes mumbled.

"I have every faith in all of you but we can't let Regional's go to our heads." Mr. Schue glanced at the clock, "Go on then get out of here, have a great summer."

The group said their goodbyes to each other and promised that they would meet up over the summer.

"So Rach," Quinn said as they walked over to Mercedes car, "what have you crammed your summer with?"

"I haven't," Rachel actually felt relieved that she didn't have a jam-packed summer, "I'm not attending my usual activities, I'm just going to take the time to do as Mr. Schuester said and relax."

"I give you a week before you start driving your dads insane," Mercedes laughed.

"I will not!" Rachel was indignant.

"Come on Rach," Quinn nudged the shorter girl, "you've never exactly been one to sit and do nothing."

"I am capable of relaxing," Rachel said as she climbed into the car, "I don't have to be doing something all the time."

* * *

Rachel had made it as far as Wednesday without going out or having anyone over before she caved in. She sat on the couch flicking through the channels, not paying attention to anything as they flicked from one set of colours to the next. She sighed and pulled her phone from her pocket and rattled off a text message.

**You win. **

** Bored already huh? Q x**

** I'm beyond bored! Are you busy? X**

Rachel waited for a reply, hoping that Quinn would be free to come over when her phone rang, Quinn's name flashing across the display.

"Hey Quinn."

"Hey sorry, easier to explain this to you than text it," Quinn's voice filtered through.

"Ok?"

"Mercedes is taking me to the mall, I've got to go get some things for Beth," Rachel could hear Mercedes talking to Beth softly, "if she's sick from all the jiggling about you can change her," Quinn directed at Mercedes, "sorry Rachel."

"That's ok," Rachel said, "you sound busy, did you want me to leave you to it?"

"No, Rach what I was going to say was you're more than welcome to join me," Quinn laughed at something Mercedes was doing, "I know it's not particularly exciting but Mercedes is meeting up with Kurt so I wouldn't say no to having a little bit of company…if you wanted that is."

"You sure? I wouldn't want to be in the way or anything."

"How would you be in the way?" Quinn was incredulous, "Do you want us to come get you?"

"I'll be ok," Rachel said, not wanting to add to their journey.

"She said she'll be ok, hey!" Quinn's shriek was muffled.

"Give me that! Hey Rae," Mercedes chuckled, "we'll pick you up."

"It's ok Mercedes I don't mind meeting you guys there."

"Glad that's settled, we'll be there in twenty."

"But," Rachel made to argue only for the phone line to go dead. Rachel shook her head. _She's been spending far too much time with Dad._

Mercedes waved to Kurt, "Right you'll call me when you're done right?"

"Yes Mercedes," Quinn rolled her eyes, "I'll call you when we're done."

"Good," Mercedes worried that Quinn would feel like she was interrupting her time with Kurt, "when you're done we can go grab lunch or something."

"Definitely," Quinn smiled, "now go before Kurt has a tantrum, you know he doesn't like to be kept waiting."

Mercedes hugged both Quinn and Rachel before leaving them to spend time with Kurt.

"So," Rachel turned to Quinn, "what are we getting for Beth?"

"Shoes," Quinn smiled, "and whatever else I think of as we go round. Don't let me forget diapers."

Rachel laughed, "Ok."

The pair began walking, Rachel beside Quinn as she pushed the buggy, "Thanks for coming with me."

"Thanks for letting me," Rachel replied, "I was beginning to go insane sat at home all day."

"Told you you're not good at sitting still."

"Yes I know, you were right, I was wrong, happy?"

"Incredibly," Quinn's voice was full of victory.

They walked through the store together looking at the various items on offer.

"So why isn't Mercedes and Kurt here helping you pick out shoes for Beth? I would've thought that Kurt would jump at the opportunity."

"Ordinarily he would, he keeps insisting that Beth will be the most stylish baby around, I swear sometimes he doesn't seem to get that she's a baby and not a fashion accessory," Quinn rolled her eyes in despair. "I thought I'd let the pair of them spend time together before Mercedes goes away, I think if I didn't Kurt would get serious withdrawal symptoms."

"When is she going?"

"They're leaving tomorrow evening," Quinn said as she looked at a little floral dress.

"What are you doing while they're in Washington?" Rachel asked concerned.

"I'm staying at my moms," Quinn wasn't quite convinced, "we're treating it as a trial, to see if I'm going to move back or try and find somewhere else to live."

"That makes sense," Rachel nodded as she stopped to look at some of the items for moms, "how do you do this Quinn?"

"What?" Quinn was confused.

"Be a mom."

"I've never really thought about it," Quinn looked at Rachel thoughtfully, "I guess I just try to do my best and hope that it's enough."

"I've always thought these things look like mini torture devices," Rachel said half-heartedly pointing at a shelf of breast pumps.

"It's ok to be scared you know?" Quinn reached out for Rachel and placed her hand on the girls elbow, "I'm scared all the time."

"Really?" Rachel's voice was small.

"Really."

"Of what?"

Quinn revealed her vulnerable side, "I'm always scared that I'll do something wrong or that I'm not doing good enough."

"I think you're a good mom," and she really did think that.

"Thanks," Quinn said sincerely.

The pair walked on silently, each revelling in their own silent fears.

"They're cute," Rachel said half-heartedly pointing at a lilac short and shirt set.

"Ok," Quinn stopped, "we need to stop. Right now, no more funk for either of us."

"Funk huh?" Rachel quirked an eyebrow at Quinn.

"Shut up," Quinn said, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

"I can't believe you actually used funk in a sentence," Rachel

laughed, "where's Mr. Schue when you need him?"

"Shut up!" Quinn bumped Rachel.

"Ok I'm sorry…" Rachel had a mischievous glint in her eyes, "We'll have to tell Mercedes she really was wrong about you."

"What?"

"Well apparently skinny white girls can be funky too."

Quinn picked up a small blue teddy bear from the display and launched it at Rachel, "You're so funny!"

Rachel picked up the small teddy and put it on a shelf as she walked past it, "Your aim is terrible."

"I meant to miss."

"The important thing Quinn, is that you believe that," Rachel stuck her tongue out.

Quinn stopped as they reached the racks of shoes, "Oh my God there are so many to choose from."

"What type did you want?"

"Ones that would be good for walking in," Quinn's eyes raked over the variety of shoes, "so nothing that's too flimsy but at the same time I don't want them to be so hard that they're going to hurt Beth's feet. They've got to be comfortable otherwise I don't think she'll even want to try."

"Ok so something that ranges in the middle of flimsy and firm, why do I get the impression we could be here a while?"

"Sorry," Quinn smiled at her sheepishly.

"I didn't realise that you could get baby Nikes," Rachel picked up a pair and flexed them gently between her hands.

"Yeah, most brands do baby shoes," Quinn eyed a pair of pink generic trainers and decided against them, "are they any good."

"No," Rachel said as she flexed a different pair of baby Nikes, "they seem to only do flimsy or firm, no middle ground."

"There's got to be something," Quinn sighed.

"Well we have only just started looking," Rachel moved on to the next row of shoes, "I'm sure there's something here that'll be what you're looking for."

It took them ten minutes before they finally found what they were after.

"What about these?" Rachel asked holding up a pair of baby Converse, "They seem to me like they might be the middle ground."

"Can I see?" Quinn took the shoes and flexed them in her hands, "I think you've solved the shoe problem."

"See cute and comfy," Rachel smiled, "now all that's left is to pick what colour you want them in."

"Oh God," Quinn looked at the assorted colours before her, "I think I'm going to stick with the ones you picked up."

"Black does go with everything," Rachel agreed, "so is there anything else or are we moving on to diapers."

Quinn looked at her watch, "I think we're going to have to skip straight to diapers, we've already been in here for over an hour."

"Quinn?" Rachel's voice was a mixture of seriousness and shyness, "Do you think you'll do this with me? Go shopping for her I mean."

"Course Rach," Quinn had noticed how Rachel was slowly testing the waters, adjusting to the idea of having a daughter of her own, "that's not even a question."

Rachel's stomach let out a low grow, "Ok apparently I'm hungry."

Quinn laughed, "Come on, let's go grab the diapers and pay for this so we can go get something to eat."

* * *

**Sunday**

Quinn and Rachel sat on the bench at the pond, Beth asleep in her pushchair.

"I never thought she'd get to sleep," Quinn hushed.

"She's still not sleeping well?" Rachel asked, genuinely worried.

"Not really, believe me when I say I can not wait for her to stop teething."

"Well at least she's asleep now."

"What about you?" Quinn turned to look at Rachel, "Are you sleeping?"

"A little," Rachel shrugged, "she's more the reason I can't sleep than the nightmares but that's more due to not being able to fall asleep in the first place. I just can't seem to get comfortable and if I do manage to get comfortable and fall asleep it feels like I'm awake again five minutes later needing to pee. I honestly never thought it was possible to pee this much!"

Quinn laughed quietly, "been there."

"Sorry, you really didn't need to that information," Rachel quickly changed subject to further avoid embarrassing herself, "how are things at your moms?"

"They're not so bad, mom's trying a little bit too hard - I think she's overcompensating for letting dad kick me out," Quinn said thoughtfully, "it's a little weird. Being back there, staying in my old room. It's like being a stranger in my old life. Everything's different. I'm not who I was then."

"I don't think any of us are those people any more."

"I know. It's just weird, it's filled with all the things I'm not a part of any more, like there's pictures of me with the Cheerio's."

"Do you miss it?"

"No," Quinn admitted, "I'd pick waking up at stupid o'clock to change a diaper over being run into the ground at six in the morning any day." She absently mindedly rocked Beth's pushchair with her foot, her voice becoming serious, "I don't miss it because I have Beth, and what's more important right? I'm glad that I can still be in Glee club but no matter how much I love Glee I would give it up for her if I had to."

Rachel nodded in understanding.

Comfortable silence lapsed between the two unlikely friends as they watched the ripples in the pond. Several minutes passed with neither saying anything to the other until Quinn heard Rachel swallow the lump in her throat.

"You ok?" hazel eyes glanced to the side.

"Yeah," Rachel kept her gaze on the pond, "just thinking."

"What about?"

"Everything and nothing," Rachel snorted, "it's been a crazy year so far."

"Yeah…"

"It's not over yet, things are only going to get more intense. Nationals, senior year, babies – it just feels so surreal."

Quinn put her arm around Rachel's shoulder, "You can do it though, it'll be hard but you can you do it."

"I want to think I can but every time I try to convince myself that I can, he's there," Rachel whispered, "everything that's happened is because of him. I wouldn't be sat here with you if it weren't for him."

"I don't know," Quinn mused, "I think I would've found a way to apologise for everything I had done to you. I'd promised myself that I would find a way to apologise before the end of junior year."

"It wouldn't be the same though would it? None of it would, I wouldn't have Artie, Santana wouldn't watch out for me," Rachel let out a small laugh, "I think she would've pushed me off the roof instead of sit there with me."

"S isn't that bad," Quinn laughed, "she's a bitch and she loves it, but she'd never physically hurt someone unless they gave her a reason to."

"It's still a little strange, Santana looking out for me, having friends at all," Rachel admitted, "I'd convinced myself that being lonely was ok, that I didn't need anyone's help with anything and now I don't know what I'd do without you all."

"We'd be just as lost without you Rach," Quinn gave Rachel's shoulders a gentle squeeze.

"Good," Rachel turned to face the blonde, "because I honestly don't want to think about what my life would be like without you guys."

"Then don't," Quinn instructed before pressing her lips to Rachel's forehead, letting them linger a moment longer than she probably should.

Rachel tilted her head up to look at the hazel eyes she had grown to take so much comfort in as Quinn pulled away, there was just something about them that fascinated her, she could see so much in them. She had wanted to say something, but she couldn't remember what it was. All thoughts had escaped her and she was acting without logic or reason as she brought her lips to gently press against the blonde's.

Quinn found herself leaning into the kiss, something unlike any other experience. There were no false pretences, no pressure, no expectations, it was surprisingly innocent.

Thoughts flooded Rachel's head as she felt Quinn returning the kiss; she pulled back and stood up. Suddenly gripped in panic at what she had done. "I'm sorry," the words fell from her mouth and she wasn't sure just exactly what she was sorry for, she turned on her heel, "I can't…I'm sorry," were the last words she uttered before she began to run.

"Rachel wait!" Quinn shouted at the rapidly vanishing figure, she wanted nothing more than to run after the brunette, she wasn't sure what she'd say to her but she knew she needed to say something. Quinn knew she wouldn't be able to catch up with Rachel, pregnant or not she could run faster than she could with a pushchair. Quinn threw her face in her hands in exasperation, "Shit!"

* * *

**Attention:** Ok so I'm thinking you all hate me right now, or I could be wrong?

I promise there's a point to Rachel running off, I'm not just being mean, well at least not this time.

Erm...I don't think I have any questions for you this time, only thing I can say is keep it coming with the baby names!

I'm so nervous about what you all think about this chapter, it's ridiculous! Seriously, I have no idea why I'm feeling so nervous.

Anyways I look forward to hearing what you all think - I just hope none of you are gonna want to kill me for this LOL

As always a big, massively, epic thank you to **chunkmunk09** I would've probably given up on this story like 10 or more chapters ago if it weren't for you babe - thank you so much for putting up with my ramblings!


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **What are Rachel and Quinn thinking I wonder?

**Warning: Language**

******Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

**Sunday night **

_Why didn't I pull away? I should've stopped it, why the hell didn't I? I should be disgusted or freaked out or something! Why doesn't this feel wrong? It's supposed to feel wrong. What the fuck do I do about this? Why did she kiss me? What does this mean? Does it mean anything? Why am I not freaked out by this? I mean I love Rach, she's my friend of course I love her but do I like her? _

Quinn hit dial on her phone for what felt like the hundredth time.

_Come on Rach…answer the phone please. _

The phone went dead and she threw it on her bed in frustration.

_FUCK! _

Quinn's thoughts were interrupted when her bedroom door opened, Puck knocking on it lightly.

"Hey," he smiled at her, "your mom told me that it was ok to come up."

"That's fine," Quinn's voice gave her away.

Puck's brow knotted together, "You ok?"

"No not really," she admitted.

"You want to talk about it?"

"I just need time to think you know?"

"Yeah," Puck understood perfectly, "where's Beth?"

"In the nursery," Quinn started towards the door.

"Come on," Puck stepped out of the way, "I'll take her and you can have some time to yourself."

"Thank you," Quinn half-smiled at him, as she walked into the room opposite hers.

"Did your mom do all this?" Puck asked as he looked around at the nursery, he'd never had to pick Beth up from the Fabray house before.

"Yeah," Quinn bent over the cot and picked up Beth.

"It's nice."

"Will you tell her that?" she handed Beth over to him, "She doesn't seem to listen to me."

"Yeah I'll tell her," Puck balanced Beth on his hip, "we'll tell her won't we, we'll tell nanny she's being silly."

"Oh before I forget," Quinn went to the wardrobe and pulled out the pair of baby Converse she had bought with Rachel, "I got these."

"Cool," Puck took the shoes in his free hand, "why don't we leave mommy in peace?" He bounced Beth on his hip, "Say bye-bye mommy." Beth giggled and babbled incoherently.

"Thanks Puck," Quinn went and kissed Beth on the cheek, "be a good girl for daddy."

"I'll see you later Quinn," Puck said before leaving Quinn alone in the nursery.

_Maybe I should try and talk to Rachel while Beth is with Puck. At least then I'll be able to run after her. What the hell would I say to her? I can't exactly demand that she explains what the hell it was about. I don't even know what this is about! I need to make sense of this. How the hell do I do that? Ok calm down think, who's the one person other than Rachel who would know what to do about this?

* * *

_

_ I can't believe I did that. What the hell was I thinking? She's never going to speak to me again. Oh God she probably hates me! I can't believe I kissed Quinn Fabray! I can't do this. I shouldn't have done that. Well done Rachel I think you've quite possibly gone and found the quickest way to sabotage a friendship with Quinn. Why couldn't I have just not done that? Look at me I can't even put a sentence together correctly! What am I going to do? How on earth am I going to fix this? _

Rachel looked at her phone as it vibrated across her bed, Quinn's name flashing brightly on the screen.

_I can't talk to her. She's going to tell me never to speak to her again. What was I thinking? Oh wait a minute that's right I wasn't! I can't believe I've managed to mess things up so badly._

Her phone buzzed once as a text message arrived through the airwaves. Rachel reluctantly opened her phone afraid that Quinn had had enough of trying to ring her and just text her letting her know not to bother talking to her again.

**Houdini have you gone and vanished on me again? I've not heard from you since last day of school :(**

_Artie thank God!_

**I'm so sorry! Things have been…hectic to say the least. I need to talk to you but it's too late now. I'll call you tomorrow? X**

** Meet me tomorrow instead? **

** Ok where and when? X**

** Coffee shop on the high street at 11? **

** Ok I'll see you then. Thanks Artie. X**

** Can't wait to see you. Night. **

Rachel closed her phone and put in on charge.

_Maybe Artie can help me make sense of this or at least help me try to find a way to fix it.

* * *

_

**Attention:** OK I know this chapter is RIDICULOUSLY short but I kinda need it to be for the next chapter to work, so bear with me ok?

There have been some great name suggestions and I've got one or two myself which maybe in a chapter or two I may put forward to see what you all think of them, but please keep the suggestions coming. If you know the meaning of the name even better!

Thank you for the reviews and I can only beg that you keep them coming.


	47. Chapter 47

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Can talking with their best friends help Rachel and Quinn figure things out?

**Warning: Language**

******Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

**Monday**

"Q," Santana greeted as she entered the Fabray household, "God it's weird being back here."

"You think it's weird? You should try living here."

"Fuck off."

"I thought you'd say that somehow."

Santana started up the stairs, old habits flooding back to her, "Where's your mom?"

"At the lawyers," Quinn followed Santana, "then she's meeting with her friend for lunch."

"She's still dealing with lawyers?"

"Yeah, dad's being difficult about the divorce."

"Jackass," Santana didn't hide her dislike for Russell, she had never liked the man, "so Q other than saving me from having meet B's long lost second cousin from Europe or wherever why am I here?"

"I need to talk to you about something," Quinn suddenly felt nervous, this was Santana she was talking to, the Latina that didn't do 'touchy-feely crap'.

"Well get on with it then woman," Santana could tell something was up, Quinn had never really needed prodding when it came to talking with her, this was serious.

"I'm going to ask you something and you're going to think I've lost my mind," she paused a moment, she felt childish for even thinking the question never mind asking, "how did you know you liked girls?"

"I never said I liked girls," Santana smirked, "I like having sex with girls, there's a difference. More to the point Q one girl! And I'm pretty sure even your prudish ass would find sex with B fucking mind blowing. Oh God you're not going to start quoting the Bible at me are you?"

"What? No!"

Santana found herself desperately trying to suppress the urge to laugh at the blush creeping across her best friends face, "What's this about Q?"

_Ok I can do this._ "What would you say if I hypothetically"

"You and I both know that you don't do hypothetically so cut the crap."

Quinn hung her head, "I kissed a girl…"

"I swear to God Q if you finish that sentence with and I liked it I'm going to beat you to death."

"I didn't not like it," Quinn said sheepishly, "but what I was actually going to say was actually she kissed me but I kinda ended up kissing her back."

"What. The. Fuck." Santana stared at the blonde in shock, "You're fucking shitting me right? I mean this is you we're on about."

"S come on I'm being serious! I need your help."

"Sorry, ok so who is this girl that you ended up making out with?"

"I did not make out with her! It was just a kiss," Quinn said defensively.

"If it was just a kiss then why the hell are you freaking out so much about it?"

Quinn sat on the edge of her bed, "She ran off on me, I didn't get a chance to say anything."

"Who?" Santana was getting frustrated; she hated having to ask the same thing twice.

"Rachel," the blonde said quietly.

"Berry?" Santana shrieked.

"Do you know any other Rachel's? Yes Berry."

"Jesus Q are you out of your fucking mind?"

"I don't know San, it wasn't exactly supposed to happen."

"Don't you think Berry's got enough to deal with right now without this shit?"

"It's not like I planned it!" Quinn stood up, waving her arms frantically, "I didn't even know it was going to happen, it just did alright?"

"Fucking hell Quinn, how the fuck do you keep managing to getting yourself in this shit?"

Quinn laughed ruefully, "I have no fucking idea."

"Do you like her?" Santana asked seriously.

Quinn chewed on the inside of her cheek, "Yeah…I think I do."

"This is some seriously messed up shit you do realise that don't you?"

"I know."

"I mean the fact that you like Berry which is weird in itself aside, she's not exactly right. I mean she's got the whole crazy pregnant chick thing going on and you know how insane that makes you but she was raped Q, fuck knows what that's done to her."

"What do I do San?" Quinn asked helplessly.

"I honestly don't know Q."

"I don't even know what it meant to her."

"Have you tried talking to her?"

"I tried calling but she won't even answer her phone."

"You know what I'd do," Santana felt sorry for her friend, Quinn really did seem to have a talent for getting herself into fucked up situations.

"I can't beat it out of her," Quinn tried to joke.

"Don't be fucking stupid!" Santana shook her head, "I swear Q having Beth has melted your brain. If she won't answer the phone, go over there."

"What if she won't talk to me?"

"Then you do the talking," Santana said as though it were that simple, "just do something cos I'm not spending time with you over the summer if you're gonna be a mopey bitch."

"What am I supposed to say to her San? It's not like I can demand to know why she kissed me."

"Do I look like I have all the fucking answers? Tell her how you feel or some shit like that, let her know that you're not weirded out that she kissed you," Santana quirked an eyebrow, "which by the way why the fuck aren't you weirded out that she did?"

Quinn laughed, "I don't know, it just felt kinda…right? I don't know how to explain it S, it was," she paused for a moment trying to find the right word, "different."

"Well no shit," Santana couldn't contain her laughter anymore, "I can't believe you kissed Berry!"

"Oh fuck off," Quinn stuck her middle finger up, "you have sex with Brittany."

* * *

Artie smiled when he saw Rachel walking towards the table he had grabbed for them, "Houdini!"

"Hey," Rachel muttered as she sat down, "I ordered you a cappuccino I vaguely recall you saying that you liked those."

"Awesome," Artie studied her for a moment, "is everything ok?"

Rachel shook her head.

"Has something happened? Is something wrong with Mini Houdini?"

Rachel gave Artie a small smile knowing that she would never be able to explain to him how much it meant that he cared about her daughters wellbeing despite her origin, "She's fine, the doctor says she's looking really healthy."

"That's good."

Rachel took her phone out of her pocket and placed it on the table, a worried look crossing her face.

"Rachel, what's wrong?"

"I really screwed things up Artie, and I mean monumentally screwed them up."

"How have you," he paused as the waitress brought over their drinks, "thanks. What do you mean you've screwed things up?"

"With Quinn."

"Ok I'm confused," Artie said, taking a tentative sip of his drink.

"She probably hates me," she said sadly.

"How could she possibly hate you? You two have become so close I don't think it's possible for her to hate you."

"I don't think it's possible for her not to hate me after what I did."

"I'm sure it can't be that bad Houdini," he took in Rachel's disbelieving face, "ok then come on tell me, what did you do that's so bad?"

Rachel lifted her cup of herbal tea to her lips, "I kissed her," her words rushed together before she took a sip from her cup, her eyes avoiding Artie's.

"I'm sorry I think I must be going deaf or something because I could've sworn you just said you kissed Quinn."

"Your hearing is fine, Artie what do I do? She's going to hate me!"

"Well what did she do after you kissed her?"

"I didn't stick around to find out," Rachel admitted sheepishly, "I panicked and ran off."

"Of all the times to pull a Houdini and vanish you choose then?"

"I panicked! I can't like her…I shouldn't have kissed her in the first place."

"It's ok to like her Rach, you can't exactly help who you fall for."

"It's not ok, it's anything but ok!"

"What if she likes you back?"

"She can't," Rachel was adamant.

"You won't know if you don't talk to her," Artie pointed out.

"It doesn't matter, it's not going to happen."

"Why are you being so stubborn about this?"

"Because just thinking about it led to a disaster."

"What? You've confused me again."

"That's what I was thinking about…on the swings, I was trying to figure out why I wasn't able to make things with Finn work. I only considered the possibility that I may be attracted to women and then I left, I didn't want to think about it."

"It doesn't matter who you're attracted to, I don't think it's something you get to control."

"Well it should be! He said he did what he did because of my dads, what's going to happen to me if I'm in a same-sex relationship?"

"Oh Rachel," Artie wheeled himself so that he was beside Rachel's chairs and pulled her forward into a hug, "he didn't do what he did because of your dads, he just used them as an excuse."

"I know, but what will people do to me when they find out? I can't go through that again Artie…I'm not strong enough," she cried softly into his shoulder.

"Everyone will love you the same way they do now," Artie promised, "don't let his excuse become the reason you can't be happy. Even if it's not with Quinn, you can't let him stop you from finding someone who will love you for the amazing person you are," Artie pulled back to love Rachel in the eyes and took one of her hands in his own, "you deserve to be happy and loved."

"How can anyone love me after this?"

"Rachel how can they not? You are one of the kindest, sweetest, funniest people I know and to top it off you're beautiful and have a voice people would kill for. Plus you have me as your best friend, what's not to love about that?"

Rachel let out a small laugh, "You're the deal breaker huh?"

"You know that they have to love me too," Artie smiled at her, "I'm the one that gets to decide whether or not they're good enough for you."

"If I cry again I hope you know it'll be entirely your fault."

"Ok I'll stop now but seriously talk to Quinn, even if she doesn't feel the same way I know she won't want to lose the friendship you guys have."

"I know you're right, I need to talk to her. It's just," she sighed, "I have no idea what to say to her."

"I can't tell you that bit I'm afraid," Artie admitted, "but from what you've told me, I think you need to tell her how much you don't want to lose having her in your life."

* * *

**Attention: **Yeah so still none the wiser as to what's going on with Rachel and Quinn? Good cos neither am I! LMAO It's a will they or won't they situation - what do you think?

I know some people don't like the whole FaBerry thing, but I'm afraid that's commonly known as TS LOL I can't please everybody and I've given up trying to please everybody, what happens with this happens, I've not got any of it planned I just kinda sit down and start writing and see what the hell happens from there. Sorry - had to put that out there. I'm doing my best folks, what more do you want from me? LOL

Erm...other than will they or won't they, I don't think I have any questions for you right now...hmmm...nope, I'm coming up empty but then again what would you expect at 04:36?

Ok so please, please, please review. Just remember to try and be constructive with your criticisms, telling me it's crap without an explanation ain't exactly fucking helpful you know what I'm saying?

Anyways I hope you've enjoyed it up to this point.

OH! Suddenly thought of a question! My brain is alive after all!

Ok I'm thinking of ending this once Rachel's had her baby the thing is...do I or don't I write a sequel? I mean would you like there to be one? Cos it's pretty pointless writing it if no one's gonna read it.

Oh and another thing should I continue In The Sun? I kinda wrote 3 chapters for it, started a 4th and never finished it cos this story just kinda took off and never stopped LOL

Right I'm done now. I look forward to finding out what you all think.


	48. Chapter 48

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **They managed to talk with their friends, but can they manage to talk with each other?

**Warning: **

******Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

**

* * *

**

Rachel sat on the couch trying to work up the courage to text Quinn, well providing she could write one that is. She forced herself to keep her mind on the task at hand, purposefully ignoring the lyrics that floated from the speakers, not allowing herself to relish the way the bass reverberated through her spine as Mary J. Blige's smoky voice glazed over the steady beat.

**I imagine that you probably don't want to talk to me right now**

_Delete_

**I can't even begin to say how sorry**

_Idiot_

**I'm sorry I haven't called**

_ Great now I'm making it sound like we had some cheap one night stand_

**Quinn I**

_Why is this is so hard? _

She let out a frustrated sigh; she never knew sending a text message could be quite so difficult.

**I'm sorry**

_ Short and to the point but it's still not right_

**I'm so sorry for running**

_ Maybe it'd be easier if I just called her._

**Can we talk?**

_She has no reason to answer, especially when I didn't answer the phone to her. Combine that with my despicable deed of running away from her I'm sure I'm the person she really wants to talk to right now, yeah right. _

**I can't even begin to say how sorry I am**

_Too long. This isn't a letter. Actually that's not a bad idea._

**Hi**

_This is just getting ridiculous! How hard is it to say I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that to you? Really I should be able to master_

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door, _I swear if it's next door complaining about noise again, _"I'll turn the music down but I'd like to point out that…" chocolate eyes locked with hazel, "Quinn…"

"Hey," Quinn offered uneasily, suddenly finding herself questioning why she took Santana's advice, "can I come in?"

Rachel couldn't tear her eyes away from the blonde in front of her, "Of course, sorry, come in."

Quinn stepped inside the door and waited for Rachel to close the door before following the brunette into the living room and taking a seat on the couch. Rachel walked over to the entertainment unit and turned off the stereo, the sudden silence accentuating the tense air between the two of them. Rachel sat in one of the armchair's, unsure of how close she should be to the blonde.

"So what you can kiss me but you can't sit next to me anymore?" Quinn attempted to joke, but she couldn't conceal the hurt in her eyes.

Rachel shifted uncomfortably, trying desperately to look anywhere that wasn't Quinn.

"I think we need to talk about this Rach," Quinn couldn't look anywhere that wasn't Rachel, "we can't ignore this."

"I know…"

"I need to know," Quinn stressed her words, she wanted to be able to tell Rachel how she felt about it all but she was afraid, "why did you kiss me?"

"I can't answer that," Rachel looked at Quinn and saw the blonde's sad expression, "not because I don't want to, I just don't have an answer. I didn't think about what I was doing."

"Do you like me?" Quinn decided it was best to be direct and to the point, "As in more than a friend?"

_She had to ask that didn't she?_ Rachel knew she couldn't lie to Quinn, not about this, "I'm sorry."

"That's not an answer," Quinn pointed out even though she knew from the non-answer what the answer was.

Rachel stood up, her panic and frustration getting the best of her as the words began to spill from her lips, "Quinn I'm so sorry. You have to believe me that I would never deliberately do anything to sabotage our friendship"

"Rach," Quinn tried to interrupt the diva's verbal onslaught.

"and I have no idea why I did what I did, I wish I could explain my cowardice when I ran off but I can't and I am so sorry for doing that to you it was despicable and there is no excuse for it. I wish I could blame this all on hormones but it would be unfair to lie to you like that and I don't want to be one of those women that use their child as an excuse. I should never have put you in this position in the first place"

"Rachel," still the brunette paced the room, her words showing no sign of coming to an end any time soon. _Does she even breathe when she gets going like this?_

"regardless of whether or not I have feelings for you, it is unfair on you to put you in a situation where you can't reciprocate the feelings. I can only imagine how bad all of this has made you feel and I want nothing more than to make it as though none of this has ever happen, I value you as a friend so much and I can't believe I was as irresponsible and downright stupid as I was to do such a thing as to risk our friendship and I completely understand if you don't want to talk to me"

"Rachel!" Quinn shouted, "Would you shut up for a minute? I'm trying to tell you something."

Rachel stopped in her tracks and looked at the blonde cautiously.

"Would you sit down?" Quinn asked, "You're making me nervous."

Rachel did as she was asked and returned to sitting back in the armchair, mentally bracing herself for the rejection she knew Quinn would give her.

Quinn bit her lip nervously, she wasn't entirely sure how she should go about this, so she just went the simple route which actually turned out to be a lot harder than she had anticipated, "I like you too."

Rachel stared at the blonde in disbelief. _I'm sure I just imagined that._ Several moments passed with neither girl saying anything, Rachel was too busy trying to convince herself that the blonde had just admitted to returning her feelings and Quinn was waiting anxiously for the brunette to answer her admission.

"Now would be a good time to say something," Quinn said nervously.

"I don't know what to say," Rachel's eyes met with Quinn's, "I didn't exactly prepare myself for this, I spent most of my time the last few days planning on ways to beg you for forgiveness alongside lots of grovelling."

"Why?"

"Honestly? I thought you wouldn't want to ever speak to me again after I kissed you," Rachel's cheeks began to blush.

"Rach why would I freak out? Surely you would realise that I really don't have a problem with who people like, I mean I've always been fine with your dads. I love them, I think they're great," Quinn couldn't quite fathom out why Rachel would expect her to have such an adverse reaction.

"That's completely different though. The chances of them ever having a crush on you are pretty slim don't you think? I don't know, I just thought that you would reject me and I'd lose our friendship because I had feelings for you, not some other girl."

"Ok, firstly we really need to work on you breathing when you go off on one like that," Quinn couldn't stop the smile that tugged at the corner of her lips, "secondly, even if I didn't have feelings for you I'd still want us to be friends Rach."

"You really have feelings for me?" Rachel couldn't hide her scepticism.

"Is it that hard to believe?"

Dark locks fell in front of timid eyes as Rachel looked at her hands resting in her lap, "Yes."

"It shouldn't be Rach, you're pretty amazing. I like a lot of things about you. I like that you have to use the most complex words you can possibly think of to say the simplest of things. I like that you sing along to adverts. I like that when I stay over you always reach for my hand and pull my arm across you. I like that you remembered what I said about Keep Holding On and that you made sure we sang it at Regional's."

The slow blush had now gained speed, beetrooting Rachel's face and neck. "I was so worried that you would be angry with me for suggesting we sang Keep Holding On," she admitted, "but I remembered how much that song meant to you and you'd helped me so much, I just wanted you to know that I this time I was singing it for you. I wanted you to have a fresher memory of it for when you needed."

"I know."

Rachel looked at Quinn nervously as she tentatively asked, "So where do we go from here?"

"I can't answer that Rach, that's your decision. We'll do whatever you want."

"Can we talk about this later? I'd like the chance to process everything. I really hadn't prepared for the possibility you may reciprocate the way I feel," Rachel smiled sheepishly, "that and apparently baby is hungry."

Quinn laughed, "Yeah they really do tend to get hungry or want something at the most inopportune moments."

"Would you like to stay tonight? We could talk more then and not worry about you having to be home at a certain time," Rachel tried to justify.

"Ok, I'll need to go back to mom's so that I can grab some things."

"Great," Rachel smiled, "now, food!"

* * *

**Attention:** Hi! *waves* did you miss me? LOL Ok so this took me far too long to get on here. I'm so sorry it took so long, a combination of being ill, having visitors and sleeping (yeah apparently I am capable of doing so) all prevented me from getting any writing done.

So what do you think? Will this do to make up for my lack of posts lately?

Let's see questions...Ooo! Got one!

Ok so I'm thinking of a Glee trip to the local theatre...what production should they go see? I'm thinking obviously a musical cos well...duh! LOL

Also people have been saying "I know I'm probably late but..." in regards to the baby names. I'd like to say no you're not too late and please keep them coming, I've had some great suggestions but I'm still waiting for that one that just kicks me in the end and says it's me you dumbass, I'm the one you've been looking for!

Right erm...I think that's it.

As always a big thanks to my buddy **chunkmunk09, **I really couldn't do this without you mate.

I look forward to reading the reviews, hint hint. LOL


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Continuation from previous chapter. Quinn and Rachel now know they have feelings for each other but what happens now? And of course Rachel's good day doesn't last, because well let's face it I'm evil to her.

**Warning: implied sexual stuffs, it's actually really mild but I know some people will read much deeper into than they probably should so just thought I'd give ya fair warning**

******Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

**

* * *

**

Hiram was relieved to be home, work had been hellish and he wanted nothing more than to relax with his husband and daughter. "Hello?"

"Kitchen," Rachel's voice just about carried over the clattering of pans and the distinctive sound of knife colliding with chopping board.

"Smells good Rae," Hiram called back as he shrugged off his jacked and hung it on the hook by the door before making his way to this kitchen, "what you cooking?"

"Stir fry."

Hiram stood in the doorway and watched as Rachel busied herself round the kitchen, Quinn stood at the island chopping different vegetables.

"It would be stir fry if someone stopped thieving the ingredients," Quinn said playfully.

"It's good to see you again Quinn," Hiram smiled at the blonde, "I was beginning to think that you two had fallen out or something."

"Can't get rid of me that easily Hiram," Quinn looked up for a moment, swotting Rachel's hand away as she reached for some of the freshly chopped veg.

Hiram rolled his eyes, "Where's your daddy at?"

"Shower," Rachel's was mumbled from inside a cupboard.

"Ok, well I'm gonna go and get changed unless you guys need a hand?"

"We're good dad," Rachel shooed him away, "tell Daddy to get his butt out of the shower, dinner will be ready soon."

"Providing you don't eat it all first," Quinn quickly dodged a slap to her right arm.

"Girls play nice," the smile carried in Hiram's voice as he turned to leave.

Hiram shook his head laughing as he made his way up the stairs, Quinn was good for Rachel, she brought out a side of her that he had feared would be lost forever after what that bastard had done to her. He still couldn't quite wrap his head around the idea that his baby girl was going to have a baby of her own. _She's so young._ It didn't matter that he had seen Quinn's ability to be a remarkable mother at such a young age, Rachel was his baby, his mind couldn't move past the image of the little girl who had run off behind stage when she was eight.

He walked into his bedroom and headed straight for the en suite, loosening his tie as he went, "Hey babe."

"Hey," Leroy called through the glass door, "how was work?"

"Ugh, don't even ask," Hiram leant against the sink, "you nearly done in there?"

"I could be," Leroy's voice took on a seductive tone, "or you could always join me and I'll make you forget all about work."

Hiram laughed, "As much as I would love to, your daughter is downstairs cooking us dinner and Quinn is here, do I even need to continue?"

"Fine," Leroy huffed as he shut off the shower and slid open the glass door, "make yourself useful and pass me that towel?"

Hiram threw the towel at Leroy, "Don't sulk."

"I'm not sulking," Leroy stood in front of his husband, towel wrapped around his waist, "is it wrong that I want some time alone with my husband?"

"No," Hiram leant up and kissed Leroy, "but Rachel will kill us if we don't go down for dinner. She'd kill us before she was pregnant for being late to dinner can you imagine what she'd be like now?"

"Good point," Leroy pulled away, "I'll get dried and dressed then, but you're mine later."

Hiram laughed into the washcloth as he wiped his face in attempt to freshen up before following Leroy into the bedroom, "Did Rae seem different to you today?"

"How'd you mean?" Leroy rummaged through the drawers and grabbed a shirt.

"I don't know, just…something seems different with her and Quinn," Hiram began to change into his jeans and t-shirt.

"I didn't notice anything babe," Leroy finished dressing and started putting his trainers on, "she's having a good day, don't knock it."

"I'm not knocking it, I just wondered what was so different about today."

Leroy stood and kissed the top of his husbands' head, "You think too much. Rae's having a good day for the first time in, well I don't know, but it's a good thing. Stop questioning it."

"Ok," Hiram sighed, "you're right."

"I know I am," Leroy smiled, "now hurry up and get your butt downstairs before Rae starts to think I managed to entice you away from food."

"I am not that bad," Hiram stood up to follow Leroy, "I just like Rae's cooking."

"You just like food," Leroy threw over his shoulder as he made his way down the stairs.

Leroy nearly walked into Quinn as he walked towards the kitchen.

Quinn let out a surprised squeal, "Jesus!"

"No, Leroy," he laughed, "sorry Quinn, I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's ok, I should really pay more attention when I'm round here." Quinn's voice took on a playful tone, "I swear one of these days I'm going to put a bell around your neck so you can't keep sneaking up on me."

"So he does it to you too?" Hiram asked as he passed Quinn on his way to the kitchen.

"Yes!"

"I am not that bad," Leroy pouted.

"Yes you are," Quinn stuck her tongue out, "I'm gonna go set the table."

"How's it going sweetheart?" Hiram asked.

"Oh good you're here," Rachel smiled, "I was beginning to think I was going to have to send a search party up for you two."

"Very funny," Hiram said dryly, "is there anything I can do to help?"

"Nope it's all done," Rachel said proudly, "so unless you want to wait for me plate it all and start taking it through?"

"Deal," Hiram smiled, "I must say, it smells good Rae."

"Thanks Dad."

"What prompted you to cook dinner then? Not that I'm complaining of course," Hiram added hurriedly.

"I don't know, I just really wanted stir fry," Rachel plated up the meal while she spoke, "but Quinn suggested that it was probably best to wait for you and Daddy. So I thought if I started cooking it it'd be ready for when you both got home."

Quinn reappeared, "Hey," she smiled as she picked up two of the plates with food on, "I'll start taking these through."

Hiram picked up the last two remaining plates, "Thanks Quinn."

"I'm not incapable of carrying dinner through to the table," Rachel grumbled as she followed after them.

"We know that sweetheart," Hiram said as he placed the plates on the table, "but it's only fair seeing as how you cooked."

"So did Quinn," Rachel argued back.

"I only chopped a few things and stopped you from eating it before you cooked it," Quinn quipped.

Rachel sat down at the table, "Oh no."

"What's wrong Rae?" Leroy asked.

"I forgot drinks."

"Don't worry," Leroy pushed away from the table, "I'll get it."

"Thank you Daddy."

"Ok, why does he get a thank you Daddy," Hiram feigned hurt, "and I get the I'm not incapable spiel?"

"Because," Rachel said matter-of-factly, "I wasn't sat down in front of food."

"Ah I see of course," Hiram slapped his forehead, "why didn't I see it before? Food comes before Dad, I should've known all along."

"It does when I've waited more than an hour for this," Rachel shot Quinn a withering stare.

"Don't look at me like that," Quinn laughed, "you didn't die of starvation in that space of time."

"Who's dying of starvation?" Leroy asked returning with wine glasses and a bottle.

"You're not seriously even contemplating suggesting that I have wine with dinner," Rachel said incredulously.

"Why not Rae?"

"Daddy, really? I mean, honestly, do you see any other pink elephants in the room?" Rachel entered drama mode, "I can't drink that, in case it escaped your attention I'm pregnant! Wait a minute…did you hit your head? You don't have concussion do you?"

Leroy laughed as he uncorked the wine, "Rae, baby, breathe. You're pregnant, not a recovering alcoholic."

Quinn couldn't hold back the laughter that burst from her throat.

"What's so funny?" Hiram asked, smiling at the blonde's sudden outburst.

"I'm sorry," she stemmed her laughter, "it's just the idea of Rach as an alcoholic, I can't even imagine her drunk or mildly tipsy. So alcoholic Rachel is just too funny."

"I could get drunk if I wanted to," Rachel said indignantly, "well not right now obviously," she said resting her hand on her now rather swollen stomach, "but in the future I could."

"You really couldn't," Quinn chuckled, "you like being in control too much which isn't a bad thing, I mean it's saved Glee's ass more than once but you just can't take being out of control."

"Where are you going?" Leroy asked as Hiram walked passed him, his eyes never leaving the banter that was going on between the two teenagers in his dining room.

"To solve the problem," Hiram whispered.

"I don't have to be in control all the time," Rachel shot back.

"The important thing Rach is that you believe that," Quinn stuck her tongue out.

"Right so that's no wine for you Rae," Leroy directed the girls back to the point, "what about you Quinn?"

"The last time I had wine," she forced her eyes away from Rachel to look at Leroy, "I got Beth so no thank you."

"Never fear," Hiram returned brandishing four bottles of mineral water.

Leroy rolled his eyes, "Well apparently I'm surrounded by the no boozers, so I guess I'll be drinking all the wine."

"I think not," Hiram sat back down at the table, passing a bottle of water to each girl, "after the day I've had there's no way that I'm not having wine."

"That bad?" Leroy sat down, passing his husband a glass of wine.

"It really was," Hiram gratefully took the offered glass, "but enough about that, let's eat."

"Always thinking with your stomach," Leroy teased.

"Apparently he's not the only one," Quinn grinned, pointing at Rachel who had already started eating.

"A girl after my own heart," Hiram said, following his daughters' lead and tucking into dinner.

Several minutes passed with no one saying anything, the only sound filling the dining room was that of cutlery against plate and the subtle crunch of stir fry being eaten.

"This is pretty good Rae," Leroy said in between mouthfuls. "When did you learn to cook?"

"I could cook before," Rachel pointed out.

"I never said you couldn't," Leroy rushed, "but you never cooked anything like this before."

"I've been experimenting," Rachel admitted, "during the day while you guys are out at work."

"Ah, that explains were all the food has been wandering off to," Leroy joked.

"It really is delicious," Hiram said as he finished off his dinner.

"Did you even taste any of it?" Leroy laughed.

"I'm not the only one to have finished," Hiram pointed out, nodding across the table at Quinn.

Quinn smiled sheepishly, "I appreciate good food."

Rachel looked over at Leroy, "Yeah daddy, you're the only one that still has food on their plate."

Leroy returned to his dinner, while Hiram stacked the empty plates, "Bring that through when your done babe, I'm going to put these in the washer ready."

"I think I'm going to have to come round during the day sometime when you're doing one of your food experiments Rach," Quinn leant back in her chair, "because that was really good."

"Thank," Rachel smiled.

"I'm with Quinn Rae," Leroy said after finishing his last mouthful, "I think I may have to stay home one day just so you can cook me lunch."

"It was only stir fry," Rachel blushed, "it's not exactly challenging the culinary world."

"It is in this household," Leroy smiled at his daughter as he stood up to take his plate through to the kitchen.

"So are you girls going to join us in front of the TV," Hiram reappeared in the doorway, "or you disappearing upstairs?"

Quinn looked over at Rachel, "Rach?"

"Relaxing in front of the TV sounds good right about now, I don't think I can make it upstairs right now."

"You ok?" Quinn asked concerned.

"I'm fine," Rachel smiled, "just full."

"Yeah well that's not a surprise," Quinn stood up, "what with all the food you ate while you were cooking."

"I was hungry," Rachel pouted, following Quinn out of the dining room, "I waited for the stir fry did I not?"

"We were lucky there was a stir fry the way you were going," Quinn joked.

"I was not that bad."

Hiram grabbed the remote and sat in an armchair, "I hope you two aren't going to argue the entire time."

"Who's arguing?" Leroy asked as he came to join the others in the lounge.

"No one Daddy," Rachel rolled her eyes, "Dad's exaggerating again."

"I am not," Hiram defended himself, "these two were bickering."

Leroy rolled his eyes, "Why do I put up with the pair of you?" he aimed at his husband and daughter.

"Because you couldn't live without us," Hiram said.

"That's what you'd like to think," Leroy quipped as he sat in the other armchair.

"Now look who's bickering," Rachel taunted.

"Be quiet you," Hiram shot at his daughter, turning on the TV.

Hiram brought up the guide and started scanning through the channels, absent-mindedly reading the titles as he scrolled through them.

"How is it there can be so many channels and never anything worth watching?" Leroy pondered out loud.

"Here's something babe," Hiram smiled at his husband, "you like CSI: Miami right? Or is it the other one you like? I get confused."

"No Miami's good, which one is it?"

"Erm…" Hiram squinted at the screen, "hang on let me bring up the description."

**Delko for the Defence: The team discovers that Delko is working for an attorney defending a homeless man accused of raping and killing a wealthy woman.**

Rachel stood up hastily, "I'm going to go for a shower," her words rushed together as she fled the room.

"Rach wait," Quinn followed after the short brunette.

"What was that about?" Hiram finished reading the words on the screen, "Oh…"

"So much for her good day," Leroy muttered.

"Rach?" Quinn reached out for the hand on the banister.

"I'm fine," Rachel said automatically.

"Don't give me that," Quinn said softly.

"Daddy likes CSI," Rachel hushed, "I don't want him to not be able to watch his favourite show because he's worried it'll upset me. I can take my shower now and he can watch it. I'll be ok."

"You sure you want to go for a shower?"

"Yeah," Rachel nodded, "I needed one before bed anyway, and at least this way we'll have more time to talk later."

"Ok," Quinn reluctantly agreed, her sad eyes following Rachel as she vanished up the stairs.

"Is she ok?" Leroy asked as Quinn returned to the lounge.

Quinn offered him a sad smile in return; "She wants you to be able to watch your show without worrying about her."

"I can't," Leroy admitted, "even if I wasn't worrying about Rae, I can't watch anything like that without thinking about what she's been through."

"Leroy…" Hiram warned, not wanting his husband to break in front of Quinn.

"It's ok," Quinn diffused Hiram's warning, "I get it. I can't even bring myself to think about the things she's been through…it hurts too much."

"Come here," Leroy patted the arm of the chair and waited for Quinn to sit on the edge of it before pulling her into a hug, "thank you."

"What for?" Quinn was honestly confused.

"For helping Rachel, I don't think she'd being doing so well if it weren't for you," Leroy forced his words around the lump in his throat, "she had a good day today, we saw how different she was, and I know that it has something to do with you. So thank you."

Quinn spent the next hour talking with Hiram and Leroy, the TV turned off and ignored as though it were being shunned. At first they had talked about Rachel but the conversation only lasted a few minutes, too much for the girls parents to want to deal with in that moment they turned their attention to Quinn's daughter. They asked her a multitude of questions; how was she getting on with learning to walk, was the teething getting any better, and most importantly when was she going to bring Beth back round because they missed her.

After promising that she would bring Beth over at the weekend Quinn excused herself so that she could get changed into her pyjamas, if she happened to catch Rachel and check if she was ok then that was just an added bonus. She was surprised to find Rachel's bedroom door open. "Hey."

Rachel stopped rubbing her hair with the towel, "Hey back."

"Guess what?" Quinn decided that it would be best to let Rachel talk when she was ready.

"What?"

"Looks like you've got me this week," Quinn walked over to her bag and pulled out her pyjamas, "your dads have apparently really missed Beth."

"Yeah," Rachel responded half-heartedly before continuing to towel dry her hair.

"I'm just going to go get changed," Quinn said before vanishing inside the bathroom, returning a few minutes later now in her tank and shorts pyjama set.

"I feel like such an idiot," Rachel finally burst.

"Why Rach?" Quinn went about folding her clothes and putting them in her bag.

"I can't even look at the word without thinking about him," Rachel's voice carried a dull anger.

"You shouldn't feel like an idiot about it sweetie," Quinn sat on the bed next to Rachel, "it's understandable. I don't think I would've been so calm."

"It's just…" Rachel sighed, "I'd gone most of the day without thinking about it, I mean it was still there but it wasn't right at the front of my mind and today was the first time I've ever really not thought about it." Rachel ran her fingers through her still slightly damp here, "And now I can't even speak using correct syntax."

"You did with that last part," Quinn said weakly, knowing it wouldn't be enough.

"It's just I can't help but wonder…"

"What?"

"Is he going to always ruin everything? Every time I have something that makes me feel good or happy or anything but him, is he always going to be there to ruin it?" Rachel looked at Quinn through watery eyes, "I don't want him to always take away from me."

"He won't," Quinn said firmly.

"You can't know that."

"I do, because I know you won't let him and neither will I," Quinn promised.

Rachel nodded, "Can we talk about something else? I don't want to let this ruin any more of my day, or anyone else's."

"Sure," Quinn smiled slightly, "what do you want to talk about?"

"I'm not sure."

"When you went for a shower you said it'd give us more time to talk," Quinn gently prodded, "was there anything in particular you wanted to talk about or was that just a general we'll have more time to talk kinda thing?"

"There was something in particular," Rachel could feel the slow build of heat creeping up the base of her throat.

"Well then let's talk about that."

Rachel slid herself further back on the bed and pulled her legs up and crossed them as though she were sitting Indian style, "I was thinking about what we talked about," Quinn nodded, "and I've decided you can't leave the decision up to me."

"Why not?" Quinn noticed Rachel turn to glance at the hallway, "You want me to shut that?"

"Please," Rachel said sheepishly.

Quinn shut the door and returned to sitting on the bed, this time further on the bed like Rachel but with her legs tucked underneath her to the side, "You were saying?"

"You can't leave the decision up to me," Rachel continued, "because it isn't right. If we're going to make a decision about this it should be together."

"Well you know my feelings," Quinn said.

"I know that you like me," Rachel agreed, "but that doesn't mean you want it to go any further."

"Well," Quinn looked at the nervous girl coyly, "I wouldn't be totally against you kissing me again if that helps?"

"It does," Rachel's words weren't quite finished.

"But?"

"I want to, I really like you too," Rachel took a breath, "it just feels selfish of me if I do."

"Why?"

"Because Quinn I'm so messed up and all over the place mentally, combine that with the fact that I'm nearly six months pregnant," Rachel looked at Quinn willing her to understand, "it's just not fair to you and there's a part of me that doesn't care but I don't want to be that selfish. I've got all this emotional baggage and a baby on the way and you've already got Beth and everything with Puck and your mom going on it's just"

Rachel's words were cut off by Quinn's lips on hers in a brief tender kiss.

"I know all that Rach," Quinn pulled back so that she look Rachel in the eye, "I know all of the stuff that you've been through, I know you've still got healing to do, I know about the baby, but I still want to try if you do?"

Rachel slowly nodded, "You kissed me."

"Did you even listen to anything I just said?"

"All of it," Rachel smiled, "but you kissed me."

"I did," Quinn quirked an eyebrow, "are you going somewhere with this?"

"Not really, I'm just glad you did."

"Good," Quinn looked at Rachel nervously, "so what's the verdict? You've got the deciding vote on this Rach."

"I want to try."

Quinn sighed, "Good then can you tell my heart to get out of my throat?"

Rachel laughed, "Sorry."

"I was worried that I'd done the wrong thing for a moment then," Quinn admitted, "but you were babbling and I needed you to listen and somehow my brain leapt to the conclusion that kissing you was the best way to get your attention."

"Well your brain was right, presumptuous, but right." Rachel's face fell serious, "Quinn…can we not tell anyone, not just yet."

"We need to tell your dads Rach, it's not fair on them for us to let them think we're just friends when that's not entirely true. They might not be too happy with us sleeping in the same bed, we know nothing's going to happen but you're still their baby and this is their house."

"I'll tell them, I promise. It's just can we leave it a couple of weeks, it seems rather pointless in telling them when there may not be anything to tell," Rachel pointed out.

"Ok, but you do realise when we do I'm going to have to tell Puck too. He needs to know when relationship stuff happens with me, he needs to know what Beth is around. I need to make sure he's ok with it, if that makes sense."

"Surprisingly that did make sense," Rachel inwardly cursed herself, "Quinn I need to be honest with you about something."

"That doesn't sound good."

"Artie knows that we kissed, I didn't know what to do and Artie's the only other person besides you I could talk to about this."

"I need to be honest with you too, S knows," Quinn paused, "so for now why don't we leave it with just them cos I don't know about Artie but I know San is going to try and force this outta me next time she sees me and it'd just be easier if we both had that one person outside of this that knew."

"Ok," Rachel smiled, "I'm pretty sure Artie would've tried to get a confession out of me sooner or later, probably not as quickly as Santana would but still."

"Yeah," Quinn laughed, "S hates it when I keep things from her."

"So, what do we do now?"

"Go downstairs and watch a DVD?" Quinn suggested.

"Are my dads still downstairs?"

"I left them down there, I haven't heard them come up but we were kinda busy talking so…"

"If they are maybe we can get them to stay and watch a film with us?"

"I think they'd like that."

* * *

**Attention: ** Ok so what do you guys think? Did this turn out ok in the end? It ended up being a LOT longer than I thought it would be but I'm glad it did.

Right so you probably won't get any updates now until next week. I've got graduation tomorrow and then some stuff going on this weekend I just don't think I'm gonna have a chance to get any writing done :(

What's everyones views on me turning my evilness away from Rachel but putting it on to Quinn for a bit? LOL Oh come on you didn't honestly think I'd give up being evil did you?

Erm...I don't think I have any questions other than that.

Oh PLEASE review! Come on, let's see if we can hit the 1,000 mark eh? We're so close! LOL

Anyways I hope you enjoyed this update, and I really look forward to reading what you all think of it.

Have a great weekend guys!

p.s. **chunkmunk09** you are a diamond babe! Thank you for all your help and putting up with my ramblings! MWAH!


	50. Chapter 50

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **What happens when someone catches Rachel and Quinn in an intimate moment with each other?

**Warning: **I don't think there's anything really to warn about...sorry if there is!

******Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

Rachel lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling while she tried to loose herself in the lyrics that floated from her iPod speakers. Music wasn't enough to get lost in anymore. Not with everything that was going on in her life. With the return to school less than six weeks away, her ever growing stomach, the guest room that she had yet to think about converting into a nursery, the impending fate of becoming a mother, and a variety of other things – it was definitely going to take more than music for her to be able to lose herself even for a brief moment.

No, she would have to wait for Quinn to return and take peace in her presence and if she was lucky enough find a slither of joy in her kisses. _Damn, Mercedes is over for dinner tonight. _Rachel loved spending time with Mercedes and she was actually glad that her friend would be round for dinner, she had become a part of her family as had Quinn and Beth but Santana and Artie were still the only ones aware of Rachel and Quinn's situation. Rachel's original couple of weeks of not telling anyone had dragged out to several weeks. Quinn had never tried to push her into telling anyone about them, and she was so thankful to her for it.

The two girls had agreed from very early on that they would not act as a couple in front of Beth until Puck was aware that they were seeing each other. On the days Quinn was over with Beth, each girl found it a struggle to be less than what they were, it was even harder when Rachel's dads were home or if Mercedes was over as well, it meant that they couldn't steal away a moment in each other while Beth slept.

_Maybe it's time to start telling people? Can I do that? God I hate this constant feeling of uncertainty. _

Rachel missed the way she used to be; the way she always had everything planned out, knowing exactly what was going on, knowing what the next step in her life would be. She missed curling up on the couch and falling asleep against her Daddy on a Friday night every time they had started watching a film later than planned. She missed planning a weekend break with her Dad just so they could go to Broadway. Everything was different now. The one thing she didn't regret or wish hadn't happened to her was Quinn.

She shifted slightly, her arm resting gingerly on her swollen stomach, still unsure as to what to make of her daughter.

_Can I do this on my own?_

She knew she wasn't entirely alone, she had her fathers, Quinn, her friends but her dad had been right – she didn't have the luxury of having someone to share the responsibility of raising a child with.

_What am I going to tell her when she's older? She's going to want to know why he's not around for her._

There was so many questions surrounding her impending motherhood and she had no answers for any of them.

_I've not even sorted the nursery out for her and she'll be here before I even realise it's happened. _

She let her fingers uncoil and stretch so that they claimed her stomach.

_Were my hands always this small or is she just really big? I really need to start coming up with something to call her other than her._

Rachel continued her inner rant, not really listening to anything anymore, too lost in the noise of her mind to notice the subtle click of the front door and the mumbled voices coming from downstairs.

_How is it possible that I am this unprepared? I've always had a plan for everything, how can I have not started to formulate a plan for this at all? This isn't new information anymore. _

Time was running out and she was painfully aware of it. With just over five weeks until the return of school and the start of her senior year, came the reality that she had a little more than nine weeks until she was due to give birth.

_Nine weeks…_

Rachel couldn't believe that time was running by so quickly, she was so unprepared. She almost jumped when she felt her daughter kick.

"Stay out of this you," Rachel muttered under her breath.

Apparently her daughter was just like her, she didn't like being told what to do and continued her flurry of movements within her mothers womb.

"You would have an opinion on this wouldn't you?" Rachel closed her eyes, willing herself to remain calm despite the fact that her shirt suddenly felt very tight. She stood up and went to her drawers, rummaging for a baggy t-shirt.

"I know," she muttered at her stomach, "I'm working on it, you're not the only one who feels like they're suffocating you know?" She grunted in frustration as she worked her way through her drawers' bottom to top, "This is just ridiculous!"

"You do know they say that talking to yourself is the first sign of madness right?" A soft voice came from behind her making her jump, before slender arms loosely wrapped around her stomach.

"You scared me," Rachel whispered, leaning into the warmth radiating from the body behind hers.

Quinn placed a kiss on Rachel's shoulder, letting go of the smaller girl, "Sorry."

Rachel slammed shut the top drawer in frustration, "Damn it!"

"Rach, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she moved over to her wardrobe, hoping that maybe it had been hung up by mistake, _Although why anyone would hang a t-shirt is beyond me,_ "have you seen my t-shirt?"

"Which one?"

"Any of them!"

"Rach," Quinn placed a hand on Rachel's shoulder, gently turning the pregnant girl so that she was facing her, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Everything. I need my t-shirt."

"You're not making any sense," Quinn tried to keep Rachel still.

"That's because none of this makes sense," Rachel said dejectedly.

"Ok clearly I've missed something. Rach, what's this about?"

Rachel pulled at the collar of her fitted shirt, "It's all too much. I'm not ready." She pulled away from Quinn, noticing the pile of washing on her desk that her dad had brought up earlier.

"Rachel would hold still for a minute?"

"I need to change my shirt," she answered, finally finding what she was looking for and vanishing inside her bathroom to change. "Where's Beth and Mercedes?" her voice muffled through the wood.

"With your dads, I came up to let you know we were here and put my bag away."

Rachel came out of the bathroom slightly more relaxed, or at least feeling as though she could breathe now that she had changed into a looser fitting top.

"Feel better now that you've found your shirt?"

Rachel walked over to Quinn, "I can breathe…just about."

"Did something happen?" Quinn's voice was full of concern, "Did you have a dream or something?"

"No," she shook her head, "I just realised that we go back to school soon."

"Yeah we do."

"I'll end up missing some classes," Rachel said, hoping that Quinn would realise what this was about.

"Only for a little while."

"I'm not ready for this Quinn, I'm not prepared for any of it."

"I don't think you can be," she answered honestly.

"I should be," Rachel answered back, "I should have the nursery ready, I should know what to expect. I haven't even thought of a name for her, I can't exactly call her Mini Houdini! I don't know what I'm doing; I haven't been to any of those classes the doctor suggested. I don't know the breathing exercises. I have no clue how to raise a baby or be a mom."

"Hey," Quinn pulled Rachel to her in a hug, "there's still time."

"Not enough though."

"You can still go to the classes if that's what you want to do. The breathing exercises, I can help you with. We can talk to your dads about sorting out the nursery, they've been waiting for you to give them the go ahead. I'll help you find a name for her."

Rachel pulled back enough so that she could reach up and capture Quinn's lips with her own, breaking apart when the baby kicked again. "Thank you."

Quinn laughed, "Is that who you were talking to when I came in?"

"Maybe," Rachel admitted, her cheeks flushing "a little bit."

"Well maybe you're not as crazy as I thought then."

"I feel like I am. I keep thinking all of these things about you, him, her," her voice grew quieter, "what am I going to tell her when she wants to know about…"

"I don't know," Quinn answered truthfully, "but you'll have a few years to figure that one out. It's up to you what you tell her."

"I just wish someone would give me the answers, or at least give me a way to make the noise in my head go away for a while,"

she uttered as she returned her body against the blonde's wrapping her arms around her back.

Quinn rubbed circles on Rachel's back, "Is there anything I can do?"

"No," Rachel looked up, "do we have to go down just yet?"

"I think we're ok for a few more minutes."

"Good," Rachel nuzzled Quinn's neck, "I missed you."

"Me too," she said, a hand gently guiding Rachel's face away from her neck and to her lips. Their kisses were nothing really, not in comparison to other kisses either girl had experienced. They were slow, delicate and chaste, not full of want and desire like the others, but filled with the emotions they had for each other.

"What the hell?"

The two girls jumped apart, neither of them had remembered to shut the bedroom door so that they would hear if someone was coming.

"Ok, someone needs to explain to me what the Hell that was!"

"Mercedes I…" Rachel panicked; this wasn't supposed to happen, she was only just contemplating telling her fathers, no one else was supposed to find out.

"What's going on?" Mercedes shrilled.

"Would you keep your voice down?" Quinn pulled Mercedes inside the room and shut the door.

"Keep my voice down?" Mercedes was incredulous, "You were kissing!"

"We were but that doesn't mean you have to shout about it," Quinn said calmly.

Mercedes started pacing the room, her eyes darting from Quinn to Rachel and back again, "I can't believe I walked in you two kissing," her mind was racing as she tried to process everything, "no scrap that. I can't believe you were kissing in the first place!"

"Would you calm down?" if the situation didn't hold the possibility of ruining what she had with Rachel Quinn would've laughed at her friends reaction, "It was a kiss, it's not like we're having sex or anything."

"You're having sex?" Mercedes stopped her pacing, shocked at Quinn's words. "With each other?"

"No, I'm just trying to point out that you need to calm down."

"Please Mercedes," Rachel's voice was quiet, fearing what Mercedes would say or do when she found out that she had been seeing (for lack of a better phrase) the blonde behind everyone's backs.

"Ok look," Mercedes forced herself to keep her voice even, she had seen the flash of fear in chocolate, "just tell me what's going on."

Rachel looked over at Quinn, her eyes filled with silent pleas.

The blonde laced her fingers with the clearly frightened girls, "It's ok," she promised, "nothing bad is going to happen." Quinn knew of Rachel's fears when it came to telling people about them and whatever the hell they were, she understood why she was terrified about people finding out and she hated that there was nothing she could do to ease her fears.

She didn't miss the way light and tan intertwined together so easily, this wasn't just an act of reassurance this was something more. Almost an act of unity. "Would one of you please explain what's going on with you two?" Mercedes wasn't stupid, but she just couldn't wrap her head around the image of her two friends sharing an intimate moment usually reserved for lovers.

"I guess we're kinda," Quinn looked at Rachel, a small smile gracing her lips, she was nervous as hell, telling Mercedes would be different from Santana she didn't know how she would react, "seeing each other?"

"Ok wait a minute," Mercedes had so many questions rolling around her head, she didn't know which to ask first, "so you guys are together?"

"Kinda, yeah," Quinn answered.

"As in together together?"

"Yes," Rachel spoke up.

"Ok," Mercedes didn't know whether or not she should laugh at the sheer absurdity of the situation, just under two years ago Quinn would've been ripping Rachel to pieces, "when the hell did this happen?"

"A few weeks ago," Rachel answered.

"How many is a few?"

Quinn looked at the ground, preparing herself for the outburst she was sure to follow after her words had entered the air, "When you were in Washington few."

"WHAT?" Mercedes jaw fell slack and she imagined that she resembled a cartoon character with their jaw on the floor, but she recovered from it almost instantly. "I came back like a month ago!"

"Yeah…" Quinn didn't know what to say, she knew Mercedes would be upset that neither her nor Rachel had told her of their relationship shift sooner.

"A month Quinn. A whole frickin' month I've been back!" Mercedes couldn't keep the hurt from tingeing her voice, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because of me," Rachel saved Quinn from having to try and pull an answer she didn't have from the air, "I asked her not to."

"Rae?"

"I didn't want to tell anyone," Rachel tried to fathom out how she could explain her logic to Mercedes so that her friend would understand that it was nothing personal towards her, "for two reasons."

Mercedes stared at Rachel expectantly waiting for her to explain what the reasons were.

"I wasn't sure if there would be anything to tell people about, I wanted to see how things went so that if at any time Quinn or myself felt uncomfortable with the…situation, we'd be able to attempt to revert to our former friendship without the public humiliation of being wrong about our feelings."

"Ok that's one reason," Mercedes voice softened, her shrill hysteria dissipated, "what's the other?"

Quinn felt the shift in Rachel, she didn't need to see it. The brunette had gone from a buzzing raw nerve to a stiff closed off door.

It wasn't that Rachel didn't trust Mercedes, she did, she had been one of the first two people she had allowed herself to trust since January but the words in her head refused to part her lips. She had to force herself to speak; she hoped that the Mercedes wouldn't press for a further explanation when she said, "I'm scared."

Quinn rubbed her thumb along the tensed thumb pressed against the side of her palm, knowing that this usually helped to calm Rachel even if it was only a little bit.

Mercedes wanted to push Rachel further; she wanted to know what the small girl was afraid of. She studied the two girls in front of her, "I can't believe I didn't notice this." The pair seemed relaxed together, even though they were caught in a tense situation. Their hands seemed to fit together as though they were the other half of the other; "I wish you'd told me sooner."

"I'm sorry," Rachel said sincerely.

Mercedes smiled at her two friends, she still had a million and one questions she wanted to ask but she knew that now wasn't the time for them, "You've got a lot of explaining to do later mama."

Quinn laughed, "I knew I wouldn't get off lightly from this."

"I don't know whether I want to hug you both or strangle you for not telling me," Mercedes joked.

Rachel relaxed her grip on Quinn's fingers a little, "So you're not mad?"

"Mad?" Mercedes features were awash with disbelief, "What's there to be mad about? I mean, it's a lot to take in and everything cos let's face it's you two."

Quinn couldn't help but laugh again; she knew exactly what Mercedes meant, "Yeah well we didn't plan this or anything."

"Apparently not," Mercedes eyed Rachel, "how are you coping without a plan?"

"I don't know," Rachel admitted, "I think I'm ok, with this at least," she gently lifted her intertwined hand a few inches, showing Mercedes that she was good about being plan-less with Quinn, "I don't think this needs a plan."

"Have," Mercedes words were cut short as a pained scream erupted from downstairs.

"I'll be back," Quinn let go of Rachel's hand and fled the room, hoping that her daughter hadn't hurt herself. She knew that cry though, that wasn't a hungry Beth.

Rachel went to follow, but Mercedes took the opportunity to stop her, "Do your dads know?"

She froze mid-step, "No."

"Don't you think you should tell them?" Mercedes asked softly.

"I will," Rachel spoke slowly, "I just wanted to make sure there was something to tell them."

"Rae," Mercedes placed a hand on Rachel's shoulder, "more than a month, there's something to tell them."

"I know," Rachel chewed her lower lip nervously, "I'll tell them, I will, just…not tonight."

"Promise me you'll tell them soon?"

"I promise, just give me another week or something?" Rachel begged, "I want to try and sort some things out with them about the baby first."

"Ok," Mercedes reluctantly agreed, not entirely convinced that Rachel would tell them.

Rachel sensed her friends disbelief, "I will, I promise you I will. I just…I need to talk to Quinn first and I need to figure out just exactly what I'm going to say to them ok?"

"Ok," Mercedes smiled, slightly more convinced that Rachel would tell Hiram and Leroy, "I wish you'd told me sooner though."

"I'm sorry," Rachel said ashamedly, "I wasn't sure what to do. This is all new territory, for both Quinn and me. I don't want to do anything that could potentially screw things up."

"It's ok Rae, I get it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Mercedes nodded her head, "I'm happy for you." Rachel eyed Mercedes suspiciously, as though she were waiting for the rug to be pulled out from beneath her feet. "Don't give me that look, I am. You've been so different these last few weeks, I couldn't figure it out but it makes sense now. I'm happy that she makes you happy, well happier than…"

"I get it," Rachel saved Mercedes, "thank you."

Mercedes carefully squeezed Rachel's size, "C'mon, Quinn's probably worried that I've tied you to a chair trying to force you to talk."

Rachel led her way out of her bedroom and down the stairs, her mouth watering a little as the smell of food wafted from the kitchen.

Quinn sat inside the kitchen at the breakfast island, Beth on her knees, "I was just about to come get you two," she looked at Rachel purposely, trying to gauge whether the small girl was ok.

"We just needed to talk about something," Rachel said calmly, trying to let Quinn know she was ok, "is Beth ok?"

"We need to baby proof the living room," Hiram said as he appeared from behind the fridge door, starting Rachel and Mercedes who hadn't really noticed that he was there before despite the fact that they knew he was cooking dinner.

"What? Why? Is she hurt?" Rachel's words rushed together as she walked over to examine Beth.

"She's fine," Hiram smiled at his daughter, if she was like this with Beth then perhaps she was coming to terms with the idea of becoming a mother herself, "she was just reminding me of how old I am."

"What?" Mercedes laughed.

"She's gaining speed with walking," Hiram filled in, "I didn't get out of the chair in time before she caught the edge of the coffee table with her head."

"Ouch," Mercedes winced, "poor Betty Boo."

Rachel's fingers traced the delicate skin of Beth's face, inspecting for any obvious signs of damage, "Is she going to be ok?"

Quinn smiled softly at Rachel, "She's fine Rach, I promise. You should've seen her last week at Puck's."

"Why what'd she do?" Hiram asked before Rachel had the chance to open her mouth.

"Decided to try to run before she could walk," Quinn's eyes focused on her daughters face, "she didn't get very far before she fell, but she fell forward and ended up cutting her lip open."

"Oh my God," Rachel muttered.

"Yeah," Quinn let out a small laugh, "I damn near had a heart attack, but I wasn't anywhere near as bad as Puck. I swear he was about ready to rush her off to hospital."

"Aw he's a worried papa," Mercedes laughed, the thought of Puck being all panicky slightly amusing to her.

"Be nice," Quinn warned, "he's good to her."

"I know," Mercedes said, "it's just hard to picture Mr. 'bad-ass' being all worried and panicky."

"You've really not seen enough of him with Beth then," Quinn answered.

"Who's not seen enough of who with Beth?" Leroy asked as he entered the kitchen, "Wow full house."

"Mercedes with Puck," Rachel supplied helpfully, "how was work daddy?"

"Ok," he walked over to the top drawer in the corner and started pulling out cutlery, "I need to talk to you about work actually."

"Is everything ok?" Rachel asked worriedly, she'd known that there had been a lot of difficulties lately.

"It's fine sweetheart," Leroy soothed, "we'll talk about it at dinner ok?"

"Ok…" Rachel was hesitant.

"Why don't you girls go on through," Hiram offered, "dinner's nearly ready."

"Is there anything we can take through with us?" Mercedes asked.

"You can grab the salt and pepper if you want," Hiram smiled at Mercedes.

"There's nothing else?" She questioned.

"Just the cutlery," Hiram turned the stove done so that the pasta didn't burn, "but Leroy's just taken that through."

"Ok," Mercedes said as she grabbed the salt and peppershakers and walked through to the dining room, Quinn and Rachel not far behind her.

Quinn glanced around the room; suddenly remembering that the bouncer she had brought over was in the lounge.

"You ok Quinn?" Rachel asked when she noticed the way Quinn hadn't sat down like she and Mercedes had.

"Yeah, I've just forgotten that the bouncer is in the other room."

"Do you want me to go get it?" Rachel asked beginning to stand up.

"No it's fine, I'll get it," Quinn smiled at Rachel nervously, "would you mind…" she nodded her head towards Beth.

"Of course not," Rachel opened her arms and waited for Quinn to place Beth in them.

Beth rested against Rachel, her little legs attempted to stand but finding no purchase on Rachel's bump, "What you doing you little trouble maker?" Rachel smiled at Beth, she really did look like Quinn, her blonde hair was almost the exact same shade as her mothers, her smile was just as infectious, her eyes as revealing as Quinn's when Quinn wasn't closed off to the world.

"Wow Rae," Mercedes was surprised at how comfortable Rachel was with Beth, "that's just weird."

"What is?"

Hiram started bringing the dinner through, smiling as he watched Beth tugging on Rachel's hair.

"You with Beth," Mercedes said simply as though it was obvious.

Quinn returned with the bouncer, Hiram and Leroy hot on her heels as they brought the last of the food through.

"What about me and Beth?" Rachel sat up straighter, allowing Beth's feet to rest on the tops of her thighs.

"Well you just seem so…suited to it," Mercedes answered truthfully, hoping that she wouldn't scare Rachel.

"Oh…" Rachel wasn't sure what to say, she hadn't thought about the way she acted with Beth. It had been hard when she first found out that she was pregnant, but she couldn't blame Beth for that. Beth was just a baby, she had done nothing wrong.

"Sorry," Mercedes rushed, "I didn't mean to upset you baby girl."

"You didn't," Rachel smiled at her friend as she passed Beth over to her mother, "it's just that really is weird."

"I don't think it's weird," Quinn said as she put Beth in the bouncer, "you're just good with kids, some people are like that."

"Quinn's right," Hiram added, "you've always been good with kids. Remember last summer? They absolutely loved you."

"Last summer?" Quinn asked genuinely interested as she sat down at the table.

"I helped out with the youth workshop group the theatre runs at summer," Rachel filled in the blanks, realising that no one had ever really asked her about her summer activities before let alone seem interested in them.

"You're braver than I am," Mercedes snorted, "don't get me wrong I love Betty Boo, but I can give her back whenever."

"I liked it," Rachel pulled her chair closer to the table, stopping just before the lip of the table dug into her stomach, "it was really rewarding to see the way the kids faces just brightened when they managed to run their lines without making any mistakes or perform a certain movement without stumbling."

They all started eating, silently agreeing that it would be one of those meals where you spoke between mouthfuls and no one minded.

"The kids really did love her," Leroy boasted, "I bumped into the organiser the other day."

"Who?"

"I don't know," Leroy blushed around the collar, "I couldn't remember his name but he said that some of the kids from last year were there again this year and to tell you that you were greatly missed by all of them."

"I've missed them too," Rachel said forlornly, "I was thinking about maybe seeing how I was coping by the holidays and maybe volunteering to help with the Christmas production – if they do one that is."

"That's really cool Rae," Mercedes said before taking a sip of her drink, "I didn't know you did all this volunteer stuff."

"Not everyone is lucky enough to have the chance of experiencing all the training I've had," Rachel said matter of factly, reminding Quinn and Mercedes of the countless times she had referred to her "years of training" whenever the rest of the Glee club weren't performing to the optimum level.

Beth grunted in her bouncer, unhappy at being ignored. Quinn rolled her eyes; "I should've known you wouldn't let me eat dinner in peace." She bent in her chair to unfasten Beth and pulled the little girl up onto her lap, laughing as Beth made to grab at the food on Quinn's plate, "You can not seriously be hungry."

"She ate like a horse before we got here," Mercedes laughed.

"She's a growing girl," Hiram smiled.

Quinn gave in and picked up a piece of pasta, letting the sauce drip to the plate and blowing on it before giving it to Beth.

Rachel looked at her fathers nervously, "I was wondering if maybe we could talk about preparing the spare room?"

"Sure," Hiram answered, "what did you want to do?"

"Well," Rachel twirled the piece of paste that was skewered on her fork, focusing on that as opposed to looking at either of her dads, "you said we could convert it into a nursery and I just wondered if that offer was still available?"

"Why wouldn't it?" Leroy shook his head at his daughter, she was so much like Hiram sometimes, she over-thought everything she ever did.

"I don't know," Rachel answered honestly, "I just wanted to make sure it was ok I guess."

"It's fine sweetheart," Hiram said, "me and your Daddy can start emptying it of the stuff that's in there whenever you're ready."

"Thank you," Rachel said sweetly, returning to her meal.

"You and your Dad could even make plans for the room this weekend," Leroy eased into the topic that he needed to discuss with his daughter, "Quinn are you still over Friday?"

"That's the plan," Quinn's eyes stay focused on Beth, ensuring that all of the cutlery was out of the child's reach, "unless you'd rather I came some other time?"

"No, no, I'm glad you'll be here," Leroy promised before turning to face his daughter, "Rae…I have to go to Atlanta for a few days."

Rachel stopped eating and placed her cutlery on her plate, "Oh, when?"

"They want me to go Friday morning."

"Is this for the contract you've been working on the last couple of weeks?" Rachel asked, remembering the many times she had found her Daddy working relentlessly in his office into the early hours of the morning.

"Yes," Leroy tilted his head, studying his daughters face, knowing that she could very rarely if ever keep the truth from her eyes, "I can tell them that I'm not going though if you want me to sweetheart. If they want me that badly they can always video conference it."

"No you should go," Rachel nodded, "you've been working really hard and I know it's a big contract."

"Are you sure?" Leroy asked hesitantly, neither he nor Hiram had been away since they had discovered what Rachel had experienced.

"Yes," Rachel looked at Hiram, "are you going to Dad?"

"Nope," Hiram swallowed the food he had been chewing, "I'm staying here."

"See Daddy," Rachel smiled at him, "Quinn's here Friday night, we can order pizza and watch a film or something couldn't we Dad?"

"I'd like that Rae," Hiram couldn't hide the grin that spread across his face, he had missed their Friday night films, even though most of the time Rachel fell asleep before the end of the film.

"I have to go out for a while on Saturday," Quinn said reluctantly, she hadn't had a chance to tell Rachel this yet, "Mom wants me to look at getting a car and Puck's got Saturday off so Mom kinda got him to agree to come with us cos neither of us will have a clue when it comes to the engine stuff."

Rachel perked up in her chair, her gaze focusing on the blonde, "What ever did happen to your car? I mean one minute you had one and then the next it was though it'd vanished."

"I sold it," Quinn answered, "there were hospital bills to pay and we didn't have any of the stuff for Beth, Puck was working but it we needed more than he was getting so I sold it."

"I would've helped out," Mercedes sulked next to Quinn.

"I know that, but I couldn't let you do that," Quinn smiled at Mercedes, "besides you gave me a home."

"Will you be coming back after?" Hiram asked Quinn.

"If Rach wants me to and it's ok with you Hiram."

"I want you to," Rachel answered quietly.

"Well that's settled then," Hiram said, "maybe me and you could brain storm about the nursery Rae?"

"Ok," Rachel nodded, before returning to her dinner.

The rest of the meal was filled with less important chatter, until they all filed into the lounge and wasted an hour or so in front of the television, Beth occasionally waddling around the room and one of them having to run after her before she caused herself another injury until it was time for Mercedes and Quinn to leave.

* * *

**Attention: ***waves* Hi all! Sorry it's taken me so long to get this up - believe me when I say this chapter was a real bitch to write. You all really need to give a big thank you and send hugs and cookies and general lovings to **chunkmunk09** I very nearly gave up writing this story altogether but **chunkmunk09** kept me going. Thank you so much babe - I really honest to God couldn't have written this chapter without you! Mucho love to you mate (p.s I'm still jealous!)

Right erm...let's see questions...

Ok I'm still accepting baby name suggestions, I've not yet decided myself as to what the baby will be called - there have been some really awesome suggestions so please keep on suggesting!

Ok I think I has a question. I have thought of a few names myself and just wondered what people thought of them...

1) Erin

2) Charlotte/Charlie

3) Faith

They're the names that I've come up with LOL Please keep sending in name suggestions, I think either next chapter or chapter after I'm gonna pick like my top 10 out of all the ones that have been suggested and put them to a vote.

Ok my mind is spent right now and I can't think of any other questions although I'm sure the second I post this I'll probably think of something LOL

Just to warn you guys the updates are probably gonna be once or twice a week at the moment cos I've got some stuff going on that I need to deal with. That and the daily updates were beginning to kill me off.

There won't be an update until after the weekend as I'm off to visit my girls parents so I hope you all have a brilliantly fantastic weekend.

Please, please, please review - like I said this chapter was a bitch to write and it got to the point where I had to force myself to write so I'd really appreciate any/all reviews so I know whether or not I did ok with this.


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **The start of an interesting weekend for Quinn and Rachel - this chapter will be continued for at least another chapter possibly two.

**Warning: **I don't think there's anything really to warn about...sorry if there is!

******Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

**Saturday morning**

Rachel tensed when she felt the kick to what felt like her kidneys and silently pleaded that her daughter, the word still felt foreign, wouldn't kick again. The arm traipsed over her stomach tightened instinctually, gathering the material of Rachel's t-shirt in the grip of the delicate palm. The minute diva waited a moment before releasing the breath she had been holding, she had been awake for a while but she didn't want to disturb the slumbering girl pressed against her spine. Another moment passed and she began to relax, she could just lie there and enjoy the way in which Quinn always wrapped an arm protectively around her when they lay spooned together. She hadn't told the blonde this, but it was more than comforting to be able to lie like this together, a part of her craved it every night and the nights when Quinn wasn't there beside her with her arm pressed against the expanse that now passed for her stomach Rachel had to resist the urge to call Quinn and tell her that she needed her. It wasn't because when Quinn was there, the nightmares were fewer, or that when she did have nightmares Quinn soothed away the panic and fears with ghostly kisses across her cheeks. She couldn't explain it, the words that she had held onto her whole life just didn't seem adequate to explain the feelings the blonde invoked in her. Yes whatever they were had started because of what he had done, but that was all he had done, the events of which she had been forced to endure because of him had just acted as a catalyst to get the ball rolling towards whatever the unlikely pair were headed for together.

Quinn sighed in her sleep, her warm breath tickling the exposed side of Rachel's neck. It was comforting, the feeling of hot air colliding with cool skin, there was more to it and Rachel knew it but she wasn't prepared to deal with that side of things yet. For now she would push it aside, put it in a neat little box and bury it away in the back of her mind and blame it all on the hormones surging through her body. Regardless of her pregnancy there was also the fact that she and Quinn had only been seeing each other or whatever they were doing for a little over a month. No, it was too soon to be dealing with the things she knew she wouldn't be ready for, especially when the thoughts were enough to bring his face looming over her, his hot breath burning her skin as his teeth dragged across her flesh before they broke into her.

There were so many feelings, the intensity of it all was overwhelming and more than once Rachel had wished for there to be an on-off switch to her mind. She knew that Quinn cared for her, probably a lot more than she dared to contemplate, but that illogical fear that she would in some way taint (because she herself was tainted) the angelic blonde loitered around her like a dark cloud chained to her body.

The fingers gripping the material relaxed, allowing the material to rest against Rachel's stomach. She was slow and delicate in her movements as she moved her arm so that it rested over the blonde's and laced their fingers together. Every time she found her fingers melded with Quinn's Rachel was surprised at how well they fit together. Her hands had always been drowned within Finn's grasp, her fingers twitched and itched to be free when they were within Jesse's grip, Puck hadn't ever bothered to attempt to intertwine their fingers, more often than not they didn't even hold hands but rather substituted hand holding for linking arms. When it came to Quinn, they just seemed to fit, it was unusual. Nice but definitely unusual, she didn't think it was possible for people to fit together. After the disaster that was her attempt at connecting with her birth mother Rachel had given up on many of the clichéd views she had on life, after all why should she believe in them when she didn't get to rush into her mothers arms and have everything fall into place as though they had never been apart from one another? It had been enough for her to question a lot of the things she had once held to be firmly true, it had only served as a way to highlight her naivety and inexperience of the world, although she found a slither of comfort that her mother had also hoped for their movie moment that they never got. It was after this that she made a string of bad decisions, one after the other. Readily jumping at the chance to be with Finn when he confessed his love to her at Regional's being one of them.

She felt the small flutter in stomach as the being within her repositioned themselves. Rachel mentally planned out her day while Quinn was out; she was going to approach the challenge that was the nursery with her Dad. He didn't know that yet, but he would soon enough, in fairness she had only really realised that was what she wanted to do herself. It was a daunting prospect; the idea of redecorating the room Rachel oddly looked forward to, what the room was becoming on the other hand sent chills through her.

She couldn't help examine her high school life and how it had turned out to be everything she had never even considered it to possibly be. The girl with little or to be more accurate no friends in her sophomore year, the girl everyone either felt sorry for and took pity on or loathed and thought her to be a liar of the most disgusting lies because they couldn't or in some cases wouldn't accept the harsh truth in her junior year and in a few short weeks she would be embarking on her senior year. Senior year was the one that held the possibility for so much, exams whose results would determine what colleges were available to her once she had decided what to do with her life, Glee club was facing National's their last attempt at Glory before they departed their own separate ways leaving the club to those they would hopefully recruit at the start of the school year, she hoped that she would start her senior year with Quinn in the way their relationship seemed to be evolving even if it be at a snail like pace, she would start her senior giving birth and end it by graduating with a baby. That last one stumped her, she just couldn't imagine it. She knew she was pregnant, it was an unavoidable truth that nobody could escape from, her stomach had that definite shape that only comes from carrying a child within you, this wasn't unsightly weight gain. Still she couldn't envision it, all she could see was herself as pregnant and then as not, there were no formed images in her mind of what her daughter might look like, or what she would grow up to be. She knew that she was missing that link mothers should have with their unborn child, it was just another thing he had taken from her, another first experience that she would never have. Rachel didn't know if she'd ever love her daughter the way a mother should, she wasn't entirely sure how to when she had never had one of her own to set an example for her, she didn't know whether she'd be capable of loving her the way she should knowing who and what her father was. What she did know though was that she would do her utmost best to make sure her child had a good life, regardless of how she started out.

Rachel had slowly began to come to terms with what he had done, she had spent a lot of time talking to her therapist and found that it oddly helped, but she no longer held herself entirely responsible for what had happened, she still had her fair share of blame in her opinion but she knew that a large part of what had happened was down to him regardless of whether or not she had provoked him. There were still the things that she struggled with; the nightmares were still there, if she ever caught sight of the scars he left for her when she was changing she could feel his bite, his face loomed over her every bad thought that crossed her mind, she still couldn't bring herself to trust any male, she was getting there slowly with her dads but she knew that she would probably never reach that level of comfort she had had with her fathers prior to the incident. She supposed that this is what made it so difficult to tell her fathers about her situation with Quinn. Mercedes was right though, she had to tell them and she knew that she would have to tell them when her Daddy returned from Atlanta on Sunday. It wasn't fair of her to ask Mercedes to keep this from her fathers for her, especially when Mercedes had grown so close with the two men. It was almost as if she were asking Mercedes to lie for her, it wasn't quite a lie she knew this but she had asked for her to withhold the truth, which may as well have been a lie as far as Rachel was concerned.

She lay there trying to think of precise words she would use to tell her fathers about Quinn, she wasn't sure how best to approach the subject. Should she start with the revelation of what she had been thinking that day at the park? Should she just be honest and blurt it out, treat the situation like a band-aid, pull it off quick and easy to cause the minimal amount of pain and damage. She worried that they would try to prevent her from seeing Quinn, she could hear their concerns in her mind, they were the same concerns she had herself, all the reasons she almost said no when Quinn offered that they see where this led them.

Rachel lost her train of thought when felt the movement from within her again. _God you're a fidget._ As if her daughter had heard her thoughts Rachel received a hard sharp kick to the outer walls of her stomach, the strength of it causing her to gasp.

"Morning," Quinn said groggily.

"I'm sorry," Rachel hushed back so as not to disturb Beth, "I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't," Quinn pushed her body against Rachel's, nuzzling the side of exposed neck, breathing in the scent that was uniquely Rachel, "you're little kick boxer did."

"Sorry," Rachel blushed, unsure whether she was blushing from her daughter being the cause of waking Quinn or from having Quinn pressed so tightly against her with her breath flowing down her neck.

"Don't be." Quinn reluctantly pulled back a little, not wanting to risk anything that could make Rachel feel uncomfortable. She expertly disentangled their fingers and lifted her arm from Rachel's stomach as she arched her back and stretched out her drowsy muscles.

Rachel grunted in disapproval, instantly missing the warmth of the body pressed against hers and the rush of cool air that swept under the quilt as it rose with Quinn's arm.

"You been awake long?" Quinn asked as she rolled her neck, trying to relieve the stiffness that had crept in and taken hold during the night.

"Not too long," Rachel turned to face Quinn, "maybe an hour?"

"You're idea of not long and mine differ greatly," Quinn yawned, "what time is it?"

"I honestly don't know."  
Quinn twisted so that she could look over her should 07:01 flashing on the display, "Did we not set the alarm last night?" she asked as her eyes darted towards the cot to check on Beth.

"Apparently not," Rachel couldn't remember whether or not they had, "what time is Puck picking you up?"

"Urgh…it's Saturday."

"It is," Rachel smiled at the blonde before her.

"He's meant to be picking us up at ten," she looked over towards her daughters' cot again, confirming that her child was still asleep before gently pulling Rachel towards her.

Rachel leant forward and brushed her lips against Quinn's, "Good morning," she uttered before taking the opportunity to revel in lips that were against her own.

Quinn pulled back reluctantly, "I suppose I'd best start getting ready."

"Why don't you have the first shower?"

"I need to sort Beth," Quinn said as though it were that simple.

"Let her sleep a bit longer," Rachel suggested, "I can watch her, if she wakes up I'll take her down and sort her breakfast."

"Are you sure Rae?"

"It's mushed banana Quinn," Rachel rolled her eyes, another little piece of who she used to be slowly making it's way to the surface, "I'm pretty sure I can manage mushed banana."

Quinn was tempted to argue, but thought better of it; she knew that when Rachel had that look of determination in her eye there really was no point in arguing with her. "Ok," _On your head be it, _"if you're sure?"

"I'm sure," Rachel nodded, not knowing whether Quinn understood that she felt that the time she spent with Beth was in a weird way her own was way of preparing herself for what was to come. She would have to get used to waking in the middle of the night for diaper changes and feedings, although she thought she had a pretty good handle on that one now with the amount of time Quinn and Beth spent staying at the Berry household.

Quinn gently pressed her lips against Rachel's and pulled back very quickly, she knew that she wanted to be able to kiss her for hours at a time, but that would not help with her car shopping plans, "Thank you."

Rachel lay on her back, listening for the telltale signs that Quinn was in the shower before she got up and headed towards her desk and turned her laptop on.

She typed as delicately as possible across the keys as she searched Google for the answers she needed for the plan she proposed to herself for her and her Dad earlier on. It didn't matter how careful she was in the ways she allowed her fingers to glide over the keyboard, her laptop was a couple of years old now and as keyboards do had lost it's quietness and instead clacked away as though she were working at an old fashioned typewriter that had lost it's bell. She willed it to be quiet so as not to wake Beth but a cautious glance over her shoulder told her it was no good. Beth was stood in her cot, desperately clinging to the edge with one hand, the other reaching for Rachel as soon as she had locked eyes with her.

Rachel sighed and admitted defeat. She went over to the cot and picked up the blonde child, who for all intents and purposes just seemed happy, she showed no signs of hunger, she just wanted out of her cot. "Come here you," Rachel said as she pulled the almost not quite baby but not yet a toddler to her chest, "wow Beth, jeez! Should you be making smells like that?" Beth giggled in her arms, "Yeah I bet you think it's funny," Rachel muttered as she carefully placed Beth on her bed and reached for the changing bag. She set out the changing matt beside Beth and moved the child across, "Go easy on me ok?" the pregnant girl questioned knowing there was no way that Beth could possibly understand what she was prattling on about, "I've not done this without your mom here you know." She focused on the task at hand, changing Beth's diaper with very little difficulty despite Beth wanting to wriggle off the bed and run around the room. "There," Rachel picked up Beth and smiled at her, "see that wasn't that hard was it?"

Having heard the shower shut off Rachel decided to wait for Quinn before heading down to breakfast with Beth and returned to her laptop, sitting Beth on her knee humming gently to child. Using her free hand she continued with her original plan of searching Google.

Ten minutes later Quinn re-emerged from the bathroom fully clothed, towel wrapped around her still wet hair, she walked over to Rachel absent-mindedly pressing a kiss into the top of Rachel's head, "Hey."

"Erm…Beth," Rachel said awkwardly, she had been doing so well at abiding by the rules that they had set she hadn't expected that Quinn would be the one to break them.

"Friends can do that Rach," Quinn laughed, "don't worry so much."

"They do?" Rachel's brow furrowed as she took her eyes off of the laptop screen and looked at the blonde.

"Yes they do," Quinn's words were muffled as her face was engulfed by hair and towel.

"Oh ok," Rachel had never really paid attention to how the girls at school acted around each other, so she couldn't compare Quinn's words to things she had experienced or witnessed.

Quinn finished drying her hair and came to stand behind Rachel, "What you doing?"  
"Research," Rachel said as she scrolled through the pages on the screen, searching for the answer that would satisfy her.

"What you researching?" Quinn fought the urge to read the screen over Rachel's shoulder.

"It's stupid," Rachel said dejectedly.

"I'm sure it's not," Quinn rested a hand on Rachel's shoulder, "go on try me."

"I did a lot of thinking while you were still asleep," Rachel began, "the other day at dinner Dad said that maybe we could talk about the nursery and I thought maybe instead of talking about it we could go out and get some paint or wallpaper or something is I was just researching colour meanings…I want to find the exactly right colour for her. I don't want her to be surrounded by negative things…I want to take all the precautions I can to make sure she doesn't turn out like him."

"Oh sweetie that's not stupid at all," Quinn crouched behind Rachel and wrapped her arms around Rachel's shoulders, "but there's no chance of that ever happening, she will never turn out like him, not when she has you for a mom."

"Better to be safe than sorry though right?"

"If it makes you feel better than yeah."

"Hey Quinn?"

Quinn stood and plucked Beth from Rachel's lap, "Yeah?"

"I did some thinking about some other stuff as well."

"Yeah? The stuff that you told me about the other day?"

"Not exactly," Rachel turned so that she was facing Quinn, ignoring the page that had just loaded on the laptop screen, "I was thinking about us and Mercedes."

"Us and Mercedes?" Quinn could tell that Rachel was nervous and figured that perhaps a tasteless joke would help, "I don't think Mercedes is into girls Rae."

"What?" Rachel looked puzzled for a moment before the penny dropped, "Oh, Quinn! Why would you even suggest that? That's just…I don't even want to contemplate the many ways in which that is wrong."

"Actually you make a point," Quinn laughed, "so what is it about us and Mercedes you were thinking about?"

"Well, I think Mercedes is right," she looked down at the hem of her shirt and started lightly tugging at a loose thread, "I think you should tell Puck, if you want to that is."

"Really?" Quinn asked hopefully.

"Yeah," Rachel nodded, "I think…it'd be nice if we didn't have to hide what was going on in front of Beth and Puck."

"What about your dads?"

"If you're ok with it I was thinking about talking to them when Daddy gets home."

"Did you want me to be here when you told them?"

"I don't know," Rachel looked up at Quinn, "so you're ok with this?"

"Definitely," Quinn smiled back, "is it ok if I talk to Puck today? It might mean I'm back a little later but I'll talk to him."

"Ok," Rachel knew that this time the fluttering in her stomach was due to nerves and not her daughters' movements.

"You sure about this Rachel? I don't mind waiting a little bit longer."  
"I want to," Rachel said, her words slightly firmer than they had been before, "I really, really like you," her cheeks flared rose, "and I want to see where this is going and I think you want to too, but I think we can't really do that without having a few people know so that we don't have to worry about them catching us out." Rachel stood and walked on over to Quinn, "When we started this," she waved a hand between the two of them, "we both agreed in not telling anybody in case there wasn't anything to tell."  
Quinn nodded, "Yeah."

"Well I think Mercedes might be right, it's been over a month. Perhaps there's something to inform people with after all."

"She has a point," Quinn admitted, "but this isn't about Mercedes it's about us, it should be what you and I want to do. Not what other people say they think we should do."

"I want to," Rachel said as confidently as she could, "do you?"

"Yeah, it'd be nice not to have to worry about who's asleep and who's awake."

"Agreed," Rachel walked over to the wardrobe and began searching for clothes, "then it's settled, you'll tell Puck and I'll talk to my dads."

"Ok, go get your butt in the shower," Quinn order, "I'm gonna sort out madams breakfast."

"Ok," Rachel said as she vanished inside the bathroom, her body thrumming with nervousness and anticipation at the prospect that her and Quinn would know within the next thirty-six hours or so whether or not they needed to continue to hide their relationship from everyone.

* * *

**Attention: **Ok so this is definitely the last update you're all getting this weekend LOL I didn't mean to write this one but it just kinda flowed and appeared so yeah - tada!

Right a couple of questions before I bugger off for the weekend...

1) How do you think Puck will react?

2) Should Rachel tell her dads together or tell them one at a time?

3) Should Quinn be with Rachel when Rachel tells her dads?

Right so that's all my tired brain can come up with right now. Have a good weekend all.

Oh before I forget we made 1,000 reviews! WOW! Thank you all SO much! Please keep reviewing, you apparently kick my ass into gear with writing LOL Anways have a great weekend all and I'll "see" you all next week.


	52. Chapter 52

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Continuation: The start of an interesting weekend for Quinn and Rachel - this chapter will be continued for at least another chapter possibly two.

**Warning: **I don't think there's anything really to warn about...sorry if there is!

******Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

**

* * *

**

"Relax Rach," Quinn laughed, "you're making me nervous."

"Sorry," Rachel mumbled, "it's just this could change everything. What if he doesn't want Beth around this?"

"He'll be fine."

"You don't know that."

"Yeah I kinda do," Quinn said as she finished packing Beth's changing bag, "it's Puck. If anything he's gonna ask if he can watch us make-out, he's not gonna be bothered that we're together."

"He most certainly cannot!" Rachel huffed.

"Stop worrying ok?"

"How can I not be worried?"

"You trust me don't you?" Quinn finished packing the bag and stood up.

"Sometimes I think I trust you more than I trust myself," Rachel admitted.

"Then trust that I know that this is going to be ok, ok?"

"Ok," Rachel hung her head, "I'm sorry, it's just I'm so nervous about this."

"Me too."

Rachel stepped forward, her hand reaching for Quinn's, "We're doing the right thing though aren't we?"

"Yeah," Quinn nodded, a smile spreading across her face, "I'd like to be able to tell some people that this amazing girl seems to have a thing for me."

"Oh…" Rachel began to retract her hand.

"It's you," Quinn gently tugged Rachel back towards her, "dingbat."

Rachel leant her head against Quinn's shoulder, "Sorry, it's just sometimes none of this seems real, and you're the only part of all that's happened that I want to be real. I keep expecting it to vanish, or turn out to be my over-active imagination trying to escape the reality of what's going on with the rest of my life."

"I'm pretty sure I'm real," Quinn smiled into Rachel's hair, relishing the closeness of their bodies, only to be disturbed by the honking of a car horn from outside the bedroom window, "yep," she sighed, "definitely real."

"He couldn't be late?" Rachel grumbled into the blonde's shirt.

"This is Puck, if it's not a date, he'll be on time," Quinn laughed.

Rachel reluctantly pulled away from Quinn, "Well damn him and his illogical man sense."

"Did you even think that through before you opened your mouth?" Quinn said as she scooped Beth up from her cot and shouldered the diaper bag.

"No but it still makes more sense than turning up to everything on time unless it's a date."

"Thinking about it, the only other thing he never turns up on time for is class."

The pair made their way downstairs, to find Puck and Hiram chatting in the hallway.

"Sup mamas," Puck smiled cheekily at the two girls, his eyes conveying the care he had for the two young women.

Quinn rolled her eyes, "Hey," she turned her head and whispered to Rachel, "he's still kinda a moron."

Hiram glared at Puck and cleared his throat, "So Quinn," he softened his gaze as he looked at the blonde, "what time do you think you'll be back?"

"I honestly couldn't tell you," Quinn swung the diaper bag at Puck, silently wishing that it had hit him in the gut instead of him catching it and taking it from her, "it all depends on what Mom's got lined up, she really wants me to look at some new cars."

"Humour your mother," Hiram smiled softly at her, and pulled a key from his pocket, "it's only the spare, but just in case we're out," he shot a questioning look at his daughter, "let yourself in, I'm sure we'll be in but just in case."

Quinn hesitated, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Rachel chirped, "you're here enough, I think we can trust that you're not going to orchestrate some elaborate house wrecking party in our absence."

Puck, Hiram and Quinn burst into fits of laughter; that was definitely the old Rachel, only she could find such a complex way of saying we know you're not going to throw a party.

"It's no laughing matter," Rachel couldn't understand why they were laughing, "you see it on the news all the time. Parents that have left their kids alone for a night and come back to discover that half of facebook has literally demolished their house."

Hiram shook his head and rolled his eyes at his daughter, "Somehow I don't think Quinn's the type to do that."

"Thank you," Quinn smiled at Hiram, "we'd best getting going, Mom will only moan if we keep her waiting."

"Sure, you want me to take her?" Puck asked nodding his head at his daughter.

"I got her," Quinn snipped, she was going to have words as soon as they were out of Rachel and Hiram's hearing range.

"Suit yourself," Puck shrugged, "nice to see you again Mr. Berry, later Rachel."

Rachel opened the front door, "Bye guys." Her eyes locked briefly with Quinn's as the blonde passed the threshold into the outside world and she mouthed 'good luck'.

Quinn offered Rachel a reassuring smile before heading to Puck's vehicle and strapping Beth into her car seat, she offered one final wave before getting in herself.

Hiram placed a hand on Rachel's shoulder, "You ok?"

"Yeah," Rachel watched as the girl she cared so deeply for vanished round the corner, "why shouldn't I be?"

"No reason," Hiram said a little too quickly.

Rachel shut the door, "You're worried about what Noah said aren't you?"

"Well it was a bit insensitive of him."

"Oh Dad, he was just being Noah," Rachel said dismissively, "he didn't mean anything by it and whether we like it or not, he's not incorrect in addressing Quinn and I as mama's albeit it's not my most preferred greeting but he could've said a lot worse."

"I'm afraid to ask," Hiram said as he walked toward the lounge, Rachel following.

"Probably best that you don't," Rachel admitted, "but at least Noah said it with kindness, I'm bound to hear a lot worse."

* * *

As soon as Puck had turned the ignition over Quinn let loose, "You're such a jerk!"

"Ok," Puck sighed as he pulled away from the Berry household, "less than five minutes and I'm a jerk – what'd I do now?"

"Sup mamas?" Quinn exclaimed, "Do you not even think about the words that have the misfortune of escaping that mouth of yours?"  
"You're upset over that? I've called you a lot worse," he pointed out.

"I don't care what you call me, I'm used to it," Quinn could feel her anger increasing, "Rachel isn't!"

"She knows I meant nothing by it," Puck knew he was right; he knew that Rachel would understand he had meant it as a term of endearment.

"And what if she doesn't Puck? Do you have any idea how hard this is for her? It's not like this was a mistake she made, she had this done to her!"

"I know that Quinn," Puck bit back his own anger the mere thought of what Rachel had endured provoked within him, "I'm not stupid."

"You sure about that?"

"Ok look," Puck admitted defeat, "when I drop you off later I'll tell her I'm sorry ok?"

Quinn glared out of the window, "Fine," she knew that Puck hadn't meant any offense but that didn't stop her worrying about the brunette.

* * *

"Did you have anything planned today sweetheart?"

"Actually Dad," Rachel turned in the settee so that she was facing the armchair her father occupied, "I did have an idea."

"I'm all ears."

"I thought maybe we could," Rachel could feel the blush creeping up her neck, although she couldn't quite explain her embarrassment, "look at some things for the nursery. If you didn't have any other plans that is?"

"I think a day spent with my little girl sounds brilliant," Hiram beamed, "did you want to look at specific things or just general things at the moment?"  
"I don't know, maybe a little of both. I was thinking that maybe we could look at paints for the room?"

"You want to paint the room?" Hiram asked surprised.

"If that's ok."

"Of course it's ok," Hiram was surprised that his daughter was actually wanting to put effort into the nursery, "did you have a colour in mind?"

"No," Rachel's voice was full of frustration, "I tried to find a colour that was positive but it seems that Google had too much information on colours and their meanings."

"That was probably a mistake," Hiram said kindly, "every culture will have a different interpretation of what a colour means. Do you remember when we decorated your room?"

"Yeah?" Rachel's brow furrowed in confusion, unsure as to where her father was going with this.

"Do you remember why you picked yellow?"

"Because you wouldn't let me paint it Elphaba green," Rachel mock sulked.

"Yes well we had to draw the line somewhere," Hiram laughed, "now seriously do you remember what you told me and Daddy when you choose yellow?"

A small smile tugged at Rachel's lips as she remembered her answer, "I said I liked it because it was warm and the colour of the sun but in all fairness I was ten."

"It doesn't matter how old you were, do you see where I'm going with this?"

"That I shouldn't turn to Google for the answer on this one?"

"Exactly," Hiram smiled, "come on, go grab your stuff and we'll head out."

* * *

"Thanks again for this Noah," Judy said as she pulled into the used car lot.

"It's not a problem," Puck said from behind her.

"I really am clueless when it comes to this sort of thing," Judy continued as she pulled in an empty spot, "Russell used to take care of this sort of thing."

"Really Judy, it's not a big deal. I get to spend a day with my girls," he smiled at her in the review mirror, "what's better than that?"

Quinn rolled her eyes, sometimes she hated that Puck always seemed to know how to say exactly the right thing to say to her mother, but more often than not she found it to be a blessing in disguise. "Kiss ass," she muttered under her breath as she got out of the car, right now was not one of those blessing in disguise moments, she was still too pissed with Puck for his disregard towards Rachel's feelings.

"What was that Quinnie?"

"Nothing mom," Quinn lied through her teeth.

"Ok then," Judy said cheerily, "shall we find a salesman?"

"Can't we just have a look around first? There might not be anything here yet," Quinn pointed out.

"Quinn's right," Puck voiced, "you want to avoid the salesman at all costs. They'll only lie to get you to buy a rust bucket."

"Grab Beth will you?" Quinn aimed at Puck as she pulled out the pram from the trunk and set it up.

"I don't mind carrying her," Puck called as he unfastened his daughter and removed her from the car.

"It's probably best that she's in her pram," Judy chimed in, "at least then you won't have to pass her back and forth if you have to look under the hood of a few cars."

"Alright," Puck relinquished and put Beth into the pram, "do you have any ideas what type of car you want?"

"Not really," Quinn said absent-mindedly as they slowly walked towards the rows and rows of used cars, "just for the love of God do not let Mom near the minivans."

Puck laughed, "You are kidding right? She wouldn't seriously suggest you get a minivan?"

"I am not kidding," Quinn kept her eyes on her mothers back, making sure that the woman didn't stray towards a salesman, "she pointed one out to me the other day, 'That'd be a good car Quinnie'," her voice mocked her mother, "does it look like I have any intention of being a soccer mom?"

"Well," Puck began.

"Don't even start," Quinn said, her old head bitch in charge voice tainting her words, "I'm still mad at you."

* * *

Rachel and Hiram walked the aisles of Home Depot searching for the paints; it took them fifteen minutes to fathom out the maze of straight aisles until they found what they were looking for.

"So Rae," Hiram looked at the wall of colours that seemed to move of their own accord, "this should be easy…"

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit I do hope you know that," Rachel joked as her eyes scanned the varying colours.

"Well in that case I'm witless," Hiram stood beside his daughter, unsure of what colours to even suggest, "I suppose the obvious is pink."

"Which is precisely why I don't want it," Rachel answered, "it's far too predictable and stereotypical and normal. I love you and Daddy but our family is anything but normal."

Hiram tried to suppress the laughter at his daughters honesty, "This is very true."

The pair stood in silence as they eyed the never-ending rows of paint tins.

"This is going to take forever," Rachel groaned, her eyes scanning the shelves, "or not," she said as she noticed a row of colour charts.

"Well that makes things easier," Hiram agreed.

Rachel flipped through the pages of the colour chart, a multitude of hues blurring together so that each shade of blue, red, green, and every other colour looked the same. So instead of a line of varying shades all the young woman saw was blocks of colour. "This is useless," she huffed in frustration.

"No it's not," Hiram looped his arm through the crook of his daughters elbow, "look there's a café round the corner from here, why don't we go sit down and look through the chart there?"

Rachel nodded and allowed her father to steer her out of the store towards the café, thankful that at least he still knew when she was overwhelmed with the decision she had to face.

* * *

"Why don't we call it a day mom?" Quinn asked, tired of looking at the same cars over and over again, "There's nothing here."  
"Nonsense Quinnie," Judy blanched, "I told you I'd get you a car sorted and that's what I'm going to do."

"It's not the end of the world if we don't sort it today," Quinn shook her head, she hated it when her mother set herself to a task, she was relentless.

"I don't understand why you won't let me get you're a new car anyway," Judy continued as she approached a black PT Cruiser that they had already passed three times, "what about this one?"

"It looks like a hearse!"

"I think it's pretty cool," Puck mused.

"You would," Quinn shot him a look; pleading with him to shut up if he wasn't going to help her.

"Besides dear, it only looks that way because of the colour," Judy said peering in through the drivers window, "we'll just simply ask if they have it in a different colour."

"Mom, it's a used car lot," Quinn wished her mother would listen to her, "I highly doubt they have any of these in a different colour."

Puck had wondered off, Beth in tow, towards the row of cars at the back of the lot that they'd yet to look at, "Quinn," he shouted, "we must've missed this one."

Quinn reluctantly walked over to where Puck stood, her mother not far behind her, "It's alright I guess." She eyed the car suspiciously, "Looks a bit like a racing car."

"I'm not sure about that one Quinnie."

"Finally we agree!" Quinn laughed at her mother light heartedly.

"Why don't we call it a day," Judy conceded, "we can keep looking in the papers and maybe you'll come with me to the dealership next week?"

"Will it make you happy if I at least consider a new car?" Quinn sighed.

"Very much," Judy admitted, "you never know what you're getting with a used car sweetie, I worry about you, I wouldn't want you to get something that was going to breakdown on you."

"New cars breakdown too Mom," Quinn relented, she knew her mothers heart was in the right place, "but ok, I'll go and look."  
Judy leant forward and kissed her daughter on the cheek, "Thank you."

* * *

"Ok then so what have we got?" Hiram asked, eyeing the colour chart in spread out on the table.

Rachel stood up and pulled out a wad of folded papers from her back pocket.

"What's with the papers Rachel?"

Rachel blushed, handing them over to her father, "Just in case," she added sheepishly.

"Sometimes I swear I don't know why I even try to dissuade you from these things," Hiram chuckled placing the pages by his cup of coffee.

"I don't want to use it to pick a colour," Rachel tried to defend her list of colour meanings, "I just wanted to make sure that the colour I picked didn't end up being full of negativity."

"OK then," Hiram slid the folded pages off of the table and put them into his shirt pocket, "you won't mind me keeping hold of them until you've chosen a colour then will you?"

"Of course not," Rachel attempted to sound confident that she knew what she was doing, "I don't need them to make my decision, they're merely there to confirm that I have made the right choice."

They spent the next half hour pouring over the hues and shades, trying to decipher what would suit best. Rachel knew she wanted a warm colour, but not so warm that it resulted in the room feeling dark. She wanted a colour that felt positive but not so positive that it would act as a stimulant and result in a hyperactive child.

"Have you seen anything you like?" Hiram asked after a while.

"I've found two possibles."

"Which are?"

"Well there's the yellow again but I don't want to be that kind of mom," she explained hoping that her Dad would know what she was trying to get at, "or there's the lilac."

"I think I missed that one, why don't you show me it?"

Rachel flipped through the pages of the chart and she found the one she was looking for, "That one," she said pointing and taping at the page.

"I think it's a great choice."

"Can we still check?" Rachel pleaded.

"Sure sweetheart," Hiram pulled out the papers from his pocket and handed them to his daughter.

Rachel flipped through the pages until she came across the right section, a smile of triumph spreading across her face as she took in the printed words.

* * *

Quinn and Puck sat on the floor in the lounge, with a table length gap between them allowing for Beth to toddle back and forth between them.

"She's got so big," Puck said wistfully, "I can't believe how fast she's growing."

"I know," Quinn's earlier anger had died down to a low simmer.

"I'm really sorry about what I said this morning," Puck ventured, "I feel like such an ass."

"You are an ass," Quinn said, except this time her words lacked the bite they had earlier on in the day.

"I know," Puck said as he lunged forward catching Beth before she collided with the floor, "You are gonna give Daddy a heart attack one of these days." He placed Beth back on the floor and watched as she tried to run on unsteady legs towards her mother, "I really didn't say it to be mean y'know?"

"I know," Quinn sighed, "it's just…it's Rachel."

"I know."

"You really don't," Quinn looked at Puck from beneath her eyelashes, unsure as to whether he would catch the double meaning to her words.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Erm…do you wanna take Beth to the park or something?"

"Ok," Puck eyed Quinn questionably, "is there something you don't want your mom to know or something?"

"You could say that."

* * *

"Feel better now that we've sorted the colour scheme?" Hiram asked as he closed the trunk now filled with tins of paint.

"I think so," Rachel honestly wasn't sure what she should feel about the nursery.

"So then," Hiram climbed into the passenger seat, "what next?"

"I'm not sure," Rachel hesitated a moment, "I think I still want to look at things for the nursery, she'll be here soon…"

"Say no more," Hiram said backing out of the parking space, "you feel up to babie'r'us?"

"I think it's worth a try," Rachel steeled herself, attempting to prepare herself for the onslaught of baby paraphernalia that she would be faced with. This was different, this wasn't for Beth.

"We can go home any time you want," Hiram spoke gently, "don't push yourself into doing something you're not ready to do."

"We can look for today," Rachel tried to cement the idea in her head, she knew that she would have to do this, regardless of whether she felt ready or not, she was not going to put her daughter up for adoption she had made her decision on that and it wasn't one she was going to back out of, "then maybe we could come back again when Daddy's back and go the three of us?"

"Your Daddy will like that."

It was only a short drive to their next destination and they had arrived there all too song for either of them.

"You ready?" Hiram asked tentatively.

"It's not or never," Rachel replied, getting out of the car.

Rachel waited for her father to lock the car and then linked her arm through his, she didn't realise that this was the first time she had actively sought comfort in him.

The pair entered the store and slowly walked through the aisles taking in the various items on offer; prams, cots, high chairs, clothes, potty training implements, toys, bedding, more clothes, feeding utensils, the list went on and on.

Rachel watched as other expectant mothers gleefully eyed the goods, studied the faces of the families that had come in together, had seen the tired yet happy faces of the parents with their own babies.

"Dad," Rachel turned to face Hiram, the look of the frightened child she truly is tainting her features, "will you and Daddy love her?"

"What?" Hiram thought he had misheard his daughter, surely she would know the answer.

Her voice seemed to lose its volume, yet at the same time was filled with an almost sense of conviction as she repeated herself, "Will you and Daddy love her?"

"Of course we will sweetheart," Hiram promised.

Rachel let go of her walls and revealed her vulnerability to her Dad, "As much as you love Beth?"

Hiram pulled his daughter into a hug, "More than we love Beth, she's yours baby, like it or not, she's a Berry."

* * *

"So," Puck picked Beth up and placed her in the kiddie swing, "what's up?"

"I need to tell you something," Quinn took a seat in the 'big kids' swing besides her daughter, idly pushing herself back and forth so that she matched her daughters movements.

"Well I figured that one Q," Puck studied Quinn's face and found there to be something troubling to him, his voice softened, "what's wrong Quinn?"

"We said we'd always be honest with each other about anything that affected Beth," Quinn hadn't realised how nervous she would feel about this, she knew her words to Rachel earlier that day had been true, Puck loved her as she loved him, they were bound together through Beth, "and that included if we started dating anyone."

"So you're dating?" Puck tried to remember a time when Quinn had been so slow with her words, he couldn't. The only time that had come close was when the entire Glee club had discovered what Rachel had endured.

"Something like that, I'm not entirely sure what you'd call it," she answered him honestly, when it came to the issues that affected their daughter she would always be honest with him, no matter how hard it might be for either of them.

"Ok, so you're dating," Puck continued to gently nudge the swing eliciting squeals and fits of giggles from the tiny blonde in the seat, "we knew it'd happen eventually, why the seriousness?"

"It's who I'm seeing," Quinn realised that she could no longer skirt around the subject, so she bit the bullet, "I'm seeing Rachel."

Puck smirked at the mother of his child, "Took you long enough."

"What?" Quinn planted her feet, causing the chains of the swing to rattle as her head spun at Exorcist speed toward Puck, "What the hell does that mean?"

"I can't believe it took you so long to figure it out," Puck snorted.

"Ok enough! Stop making fun of me and get to the point Noah!"

"Alright don't get your panties in a bunch, and calm down," he nodded his head toward Beth, "why'd you think you kicked St. Jerk-off in the crown jewels?"

"You were there, you heard the things he said about Rachel," Quinn couldn't understand where Puck was going.

"Would you have done the same if he'd said it to anyone else? No," Puck focused on his daughter while he spoke, "you know just as well as I do, you don't do violence. If you're gonna hurt someone you just open that pretty little mouth of yours and let it fly, but you didn't."

"Ok," Quinn nodded, he had a point, she really wasn't the type to resort to physical violence, "I'm assuming that's not all you've got."

"Have I ever let you done before?" He wriggled his eyebrows suggestively, just to get a rise out of the older blonde. "No, think about it Quinn. I know you, whether we like it or not, we know each other a lot better than most people know us. You spent the longest time telling me that you were going to apologise to Rachel for the way you treated her, you had so many chances to and every time you bottled it. You turned on your heel and chicken out."

"I didn't know what to say to her," Quinn explained feebly, "it wasn't exactly something I could just say sorry for."

"But you could have, this is Rachel," Puck turned so that he could look Quinn in the eye, "she forgives far too easily, how many times did she forgive Finn after all the times he messed her around? But you kept running away."

"I didn't know what to say to her, what else could I have done? If I'd gone up to her I would've said something horrible to her."

"That's bull and you know it!"

"Watch what you're saying," Quinn scolded, "if her first word is bull I will kill you."

"It won't be," Puck retorted, "but I'm right and you know it."

"How are you right?" Quinn demanded.

"You couldn't apologise because you cared too much about what she would say back," Puck explained, "you were too worried that she wouldn't forgive you."

"I…" Quinn was at a loss for words, she knew Puck was right, "how did you know that?"

"Because Quinn, like it or not, we know each other too well," he offered her a friendly smile.

"So…now what?"

"Nothing," Puck shrugged, "you keep on seeing her, you're good for each other. She's happier and so are you."

"Why can't you be like this all the time?"

"If I was you know people would target you, and I ain't gonna let anyone mess with my girls," he looked between Quinn and Beth, "and that includes Rachel."

* * *

**Attention:** So tada! LOL What do you all think? Puck's not the ass everyone thinks he is after all huh?

So did this work out ok - with the changing between the two girls and what they were doing?

Would you like to see Puck's apology to Rachel?

After Rachel's dads who should be the next person to find out?  
Erm...I know! Would you like there to be maybe one more, final, roof talk with Rachel and Santana?

With school creeping closer would you like the Gleeks to meet up, maybe for the musical like I suggested ages ago or maybe they can go see a movie or go for a meal or something?

Did Rachel end up buying anything while she was with her dad in babies'r'us? If so, what do you think she bought?

Ok so I think that'll do for now LOL I hope you all liked this update and I really look forward to reading the reviews.

One final thing before I go - a big thank you to **chunkmunk09 **and **Davis B.P** without either of these two amazing people I wouldn't have written this chapter. Thank you guys so much for all your help and for putting up with my insomniac ramblings as well as helping me brainstorm and work through my mental blocks when writing this.


	53. Chapter 53

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Continuation: The start of an interesting weekend for Quinn and Rachel - Should be one more chapter to follow this one and then the weekend will be done and over with.

**Warning: **I don't think there's anything really to warn about...sorry if there is!

******Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

"So who else knows?" Puck asked as he climbed into the drivers' seat, ready to drop Quinn back at the Berry's.

"Well obviously you know now," Quinn said as she strapped Beth into the car seat, "Santana and Artie know," she closed the door and took her place in the front besides Puck, "and Mercedes, although she wasn't supposed to, that one was an accident."

Puck laughed as he pulled out of the Fabray home driveway, "How can she accidentally know?"

"She caught me and Rachel kissing," Quinn said blushing at the memory.

"Well that sucks," Puck sulked, "you couldn't let me find out that way?"

Quinn punched his arm, "You're such a pig sometimes do you know that?"

"You love it," he smirked before becoming serious again, "are you gonna tell the rest of Glee?"

"To be honest I hadn't really thought about that, I guess it's something me and Rachel need to talk about."

"I don't think anyone will have a problem. Well…except for Finn."

"What? I mean yeah ok so Finn and Rachel dated but that was over ages ago, why would he cause a problem?" Quinn asked confused.

"Before all this happened," Puck pulled to a stop at a set of lights and quickly turned so that he was facing Quinn, "he was planning on finding a way to get Rachel back, then well…the shit hit the fan."

Quinn swatted his arm, "Would you watch what you're saying!"

"Sorry," he glanced in his review, "it's fine, she's asleep."

"Not the point," Quinn rolled her eyes, "light's green."

Puck snapped back so that he was facing the road and pulled off, "Anyways all this stuff happened and he put it all on hold, but all summer he's been trying to find a way to win Rachel back and let her know that he'll take care of her and the baby."

"Please be joking?" Quinn couldn't believe this was happening, "they split up last year Puck, last year!"

"Yeah I know," Puck pulled up in front of the Berry home and shut off the engine, "but he says he's in love with her."

"Wonderful," Quinn's voice dripped with sarcasm, "this could be interesting when he does find out."

"Yeah well you know I've got your back," Puck said as he began to climb out of the car.

Quinn reached forward and grabbed his forearm, "Please don't mention this to Rachel, I'll tell her but she's stressing about telling her dads about…us. She doesn't need to be stressed about Finn as well."

"Gotcha," Puck nodded, "I'm not gonna say a word but you'll need to tell her Quinn, before we get back to school cos otherwise he'll corner her and she won't have a clue what to do."

"I know, I'll tell her," Quinn promised, "let's just get this weekend out of the way."

"She's telling them this weekend?" Puck asked as he gathered all of Beth's things.

"Sounded like that was what she wanted to do when we talked about it this morning," Quinn's voice was muffled as she stuck her head back inside the car to retrieve Beth.

"Will you be with her?"

"I want to be," Quinn admitted, "but it's up to her."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Are you gonna tell your mom?"

"I'm not even thinking about that one," Quinn said as she walked the path to the front door, noticing Hiram's car in the driveway, "I've not long moved back in."

"True," Puck agreed, "if it helps you, I'm not gonna tell my mom about this, you don't need her on your back about this right now."

"Thanks," Quinn knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer it.

"You have a key," Puck pointed out.

"For if they weren't home," Quinn countered.

Puck shook his head in despair.

"Quinn," Hiram greeted as he opened the front door, "why didn't you just let yourself in? I did give you a key so you could."

"Told you," Puck said smugly.

"Shut up," the blonde threw over her shoulder, before turning to Hiram, "you said to use it if you guys weren't in, I didn't want to assume that I could just let myself in if you were in."

Hiram stepped to the side letting Quinn and Puck enter the house, "Well now you know for next time."

Quinn retrieved the spare key from her pocket and offered it to Hiram to only have it refused.

"You might as well keep it," Hiram smiled at the blonde, "you're here enough, and it'll make it easier for you especially when the weathers bad and you've got Beth with you."

"Are you sure?" Quinn was reluctant to accept the key, especially when neither Hiram nor Leroy were aware of her and Rachel's relationship.

"Yes I'm sure, Leroy and I talked about this the other week and we decided together that perhaps you should have your own key seeing as you spend so much time here."

"Oh…thank you," Quinn stumbled over her words; she had never had this sort of trust shown to her by anyone's parents before.

"Is Rachel around Mr. Berry?" Puck stepped in, saving Quinn from her awkwardness, "I'd really like to apologise to her."

Hiram held Puck with his eyes, scrutinising the boy trying to suss him out, after accepting that Puck was being sincere he finally answered, "She's in her room," his eyes darted to Quinn, "I'm sure you want to put your things away?"

"Yeah that'd be great," Quinn understood Hiram's reluctance to allow Puck go up to Rachel unsupervised, "I'll take Puck with me."

"Ok," Hiram began to walk towards the lounge, "oh Quinn?"

Quinn paused at the bottom step of the stairs, "Yes?"

"Have you had dinner yet?"

"No, not yet," Quinn felt guilty for not eating before returning to the Berry household.

"Good," Hiram smiled warmly at the blonde, "I think we're doing take away tonight, tell Rachel to let me know when you guys are hungry ok?"

"Sure," she offered Hiram a final smile before continuing up the stairs, Puck carrying Beth a few steps behind her.

Quinn stopped just outside of Rachel's room, and knocked on the door, "Rach?"

"Come on in," Rachel's voice muffled through the wood.

Quinn hesitated a moment, "Puck's with me."

Rachel opened her bedroom slowly and looked at Puck looming behind Quinn, "I don't mean to be rude but what are you doing here Noah?"

"Quinn can I…" Puck let his words trail off as Quinn stepped slightly to the side so that Rachel and Puck had a clear view of each other and he took a tentative step forward, "I'm real sorry bout what I called you this morning."

"Don't worry about it," Rachel said half-heartedly, her mind preoccupied with other things.

"I do worry about it Rachel, I shouldn't have said it," Puck noticed that brunette wasn't quite paying attention and did the one thing he knew would illicit a response from her (as well as earn him a smack from Quinn), "I was a total dick for saying it."

"NOAH!" Rachel's focus snapped to the boy in front of her, "Watch your tongue when there are delicate ears around," she said nodding at the squirming child in his arms.

Puck smirked inwardly, _knew that would work,_ "Sorry."

"Not as sorry as you're gonna be if you keep swearing in front of Beth," Quinn warned.

"Well I had to get her to listen somehow," Puck shrugged.

"Sorry Noah," Rachel sighed, "I guess I just have some stuff occupying my mind right now, what is it you were saying?"

"I'm sorry for this morning, for calling you mama," Puck put as much sincerity into his words as he could, "I didn't think about it when I said it and I'm sorry. I didn't say it to be mean or anything."

"I know," Rachel was touched that Puck had come to apologise, even though she had suspected that he done so partly due to Quinn, "it's ok Noah, I forgive you and while it's not my favourite term of endearment I am bound to hear a lot worse when we return to school."

"Not if I can help it," Puck stepped into protective mode.

"Why don't you guys come sit in here?" Rachel said as she backed into her room, "I get the impression that Beth would like to get down," she was surprised that Noah was able to keep the child in his arms Beth was wriggling and writhing that much in an attempt to escape his grasp.

"You're sure you're ok with having me in your room?" Puck asked not wanting to push Rachel.

"I'll be fine," Rachel promised, this was something she wanted to do, she didn't want to spend the rest of her life scared of her friends just because they were guys, "besides, Quinn is here."

"Alright then," Puck shrugged stepping into the room, Quinn not far behind him and putting Beth down once the door had been shut.

"Ease up Rach," Quinn said noticing how stiff the other girl was, "just relax ok? I wouldn't let anything happen to you."

"It's not that," Rachel fidgeted nervously, "well it is but it isn't."

"Ok now I'm confused," Puck said from his spot on the floor.

"I don't know how to explain it," Rachel admitted.

"Then don't," Quinn smiled softly at her, as she too sat on the floor so that Beth had another target to run at.

Rachel awkwardly joined the others and sat on the floor close to the blonde, "Did you have any luck with finding a car?"

"Ugh…" Quinn groaned.

"I wouldn't go there if I were you," Puck chuckled, "Judy kept suggesting minivans."

"Oh," Rachel's face scrunched as she tried to puzzle out what was wrong with minivans, "is that a bad thing?"

"Soccer moms Rach," Quinn couldn't help but laugh, even now it seemed absurd to her that her mother would suggest such a thing, "do I look like a soccer mom to you?"

"Soccer moms have a look?" Rachel teased, but stopped as soon as she noticed the look on Quinn's face, "Ok! No, you do not look like a soccer mom. It's pretty funny though to think of you as one."

"Ha ha," the blonde said sarcastically.

"Rachel's got a point, it's pretty funny," Puck smirked as he helped Beth turn around so that she was running towards the two women opposite.

"She seems happy," Rachel smiled as the small blonde came barrelling (well as fast as a pre-toddler can) at her.

"She's had a busy day," Puck said warmly, "I wouldn't be surprised if she slept like the dead later on though."

"That'd make a nice change," Quinn smiled.

Beth toddled over to Rachel and stumbled against the brunettes' stomach, resting there a moment while she found her feet again, all the while babbling to herself.

"Do you ever wonder what it is she's babbling about?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah," Puck and Quinn said almost simultaneously.

"What are you on about?" Rachel muttered as she watched the babbling toddler who was using her shirt to pull herself up.

Beth suddenly silenced and stared with a mixed look of wonder and fear across her face at Rachel's stomach.

"What's wrong?" Puck rushed, unable to see his daughters face.

"Nothing," Rachel's words were slow, her eyes never leaving the blonde child who was still staring at her bump, "I bet that felt strange didn't it?"

"Ok someone wanna tell me what's going on?" Puck asked confused.

"She kicked," Rachel answered looking up at Puck, "not Beth," she added when she noticed that he still looked slightly confused, "she kicked. Beth must have felt her when she was leaning against me."

"I didn't know you could feel her, makes sense, it's just I didn't realise you could yet," Puck worried about the girl who had once been his girlfriend, "how do you feel about it?"

"I don't know," Rachel admitted, "strange. Relieved and angry all at once. I mean it's a good thing, she's healthy and moving and I should be happy about this but I just can't bring myself to be happy about it and that makes me angry."

"No one expects you to be happy about this," Puck answered.

"I want to be," Rachel admitted, feeling a little more confident with her words once Quinn had moved even closer to her so that there shoulders were barely touching, "I don't hate her, I thought I would but I don't but I'm not happy either."

"I think it's a pregnant chick thing," Puck tried to cheer the dark haired diva up, "Q wasn't jumpin' for joy either."

"He's right," Quinn agreed, "and you know how much I hate it when he's right."

"Yeah," Rachel let out a feeble laugh, "but Noah loves it."

"Damn straight I do," Puck smirked, his eyes glancing towards the bedside clock, "I should probably get going I promised mom I'd help out with dinner."

"Ok," Quinn pushed herself from her position on the floor and picked up Beth who was still staring fascinated at Rachel's stomach, "come on you, time to say goodbye to daddy."

Beth struggled in her mothers' arms; too keen and interested in the flutter of movement she had felt under Rachel's skin.

"Don't miss me too much will you?" Puck said sarcastically as he placed a kiss on his daughters' cheek, "Be a good girl for Daddy, I'll be back for you tomorrow. Let me know if you want me to get her earlier yeah?"

"Earlier?" Rachel asked slightly confused.

"I'll fill you in in a minute Rach," Quinn smiled at the brunette who seemed to be struggling slightly to right herself from the floor.

"Here," Puck offered Rachel his hand for her to pull herself up on.

Rachel hesitated a moment before taking Puck's hand and allowing him to help her up, "Thanks."

"No problem," he smiled softly at her.

"I'll see you out," Rachel said awkwardly.

"You don't have to," Puck said already halfway out the door.

"We'll wave to daddy from the window won't we?" Quinn questioned Beth knowing that she wouldn't get an answer.

"Bye girls," Puck said with a final wave before disappearing down the hall, his steps thudding on the stairs as he made to leave.

Quinn moved over to the bedroom window, Beth in her arms and watched as Puck climbed into his car and drove off all the while moving Beth's arm and saying, "Bye bye Daddy, say bye bye."

Rachel closed her bedroom door, "Why did Puck say about picking Beth up early tomorrow?"

"In case we wanted some time," Quinn turned to face Rachel, "to talk, if you were gonna tell your dads tomorrow, he thought it'd be easier for us to maybe have some time to talk while your dads were out of the house and we didn't have Beth to worry about but that's only if you want me there."

"I do," Rachel said as she sat on the bed, "I think maybe it'd be better if we told them together somehow."

Quinn felt a wave of relief wash over her, "I was hoping you'd say that."

"Why?"

"Cos I want your dads to know that I'm serious about this," Quinn explained, "I think if I weren't there it wouldn't look like I was."

"You're serious about this?"

"Yeah," Quinn sat beside Rachel, Beth beginning to droop in her arms, "I like you Rach, a lot, why wouldn't I be serious about you?"

Rachel blushed, "I don't know."

"You're a goof," Quinn hushed, gently rocking a tired and slightly disgruntled Beth in her arms, "hey do me a favour? Grab me her pacifier? I think it's in the zip part of the bag."

"Sure," Rachel said, leaving the bed to rummage through the bag, returning once she had found it.

"Thanks," Quinn took the pacifier and gently pushed it against Beth's mouth until the child took it and quietened, "Thank God for that."

"Did you talk to Noah?" Rachel asked nervously.

"I did."

"And?" Rachel squirmed anxiously, "How did it go?"

Quinn felt the smirk tug at her lips before she carefully leant across the sleeping child in her arms and gently pressed her lips against the brunettes. "Does that answer your question?" she asked pulling back.

"So he's really ok with this?" Rachel asked still slightly unsure of it all.

"He's more than ok with it Rach," Quinn smiled, "only thing he was annoyed about was that he didn't get to find out the same way Mercedes did."

"That sounds like Puck," Rachel let out a small laugh, "I'm glad he's ok with it."

"Me too," Quinn admitted, "although he didn't really seem all that surprised by it."

"He didn't?" Rachel's face was a mask of confusion.

"No," Quinn stood and carefully walked over to place an almost sleeping Beth in the cot, "he knows me a little better than I give him credit for."

Rachel sat silently, waiting for Quinn to continue.

Quinn returned to sitting beside Rachel, "He knew I liked you before I did," she laughed.

"He did?"

"Yeah," Quinn couldn't keep the amusement out of her voice; "now that he's pointed it out I can't believe I didn't see it sooner."

"How long?" Rachel asked intrigued.

"Hmm?" Quinn had lost herself in her thoughts as she thought of all the times Puck had pointed out to her.

"How long have you liked me?" Rachel ventured again.

"Oh…" Quinn could feel the blush steadily making its way up her neck, _I hate that she makes me blush this much,_ "erm…well before any of…" she paused a moment thinking of how to rephrase her words, "you were still with Finn let's just put it that way."

"Wow," Rachel was shell shocked, "really?"

"Yeah."

"Really?"

"Yes," Quinn looked Rachel in the eyes, "Is it really that hard to believe?"

"A little bit," Rachel admitted, her voice sounding smaller than her body.

"Well it is," Quinn offered the brunette a sincere smile; "there's a lot to like about you Rach, even when you talk too much."

Rachel leant forward and brushed her lips against the blondes flushed cheek, "Quinn?" her voice continued to sound small as she pulled herself up on to the bed so that she could cuddle against the blonde.

"Yeah?" Quinn shifted her legs so that they were on the bed and lifted her arm so that Rachel's head could rest against her chest and wrapped the arm loosely around the smaller girls shoulders.

"You do know that I'm not with you because of what happened right?"

Quinn smiled, "I never thought for a moment you were."

"Good," Rachel drew herself closer, wrapping her arm around the ex-Cheerios stomach, "because I wouldn't want you to think I was and to be truthful with you, I think I liked you before as well, I just didn't get a chance to really decipher what the feelings I had towards you were because of..."

"Shhh," Quinn pressed her lips to the top of the head resting against her, "Doesn't matter now."

* * *

**Attention:** Hi everyone, thanks for being so patient with the updates. I seem to be having internet problems at the moment which is making it hard for me to post as well as a touch of mental block making it hard to write so thanks for bearing with me.

Ok so a LOT of people would like to see a Rachel and Santana roof scene that one last time so my question to you is this...

How do I go about doing it? Do I continue with the idea that Santana just seems to know when Rachel's on the roof and happens to turn up? Do you have any suggestions as to how they end up on the roof this time? Is there anything in particular you'd like them to talk about? I've got a few ideas for what they'll talk about but nothing concrete just yet.

Ok so next chapter Rachel is gonna tell her dads - the thing is how will they react? Any suggestions?

Erm...ok I'm still kinda stranded on the whole name thing so keep suggesting names. I think I'm stuck on it cos I've not really given it any serious thought cos of having to tackle the other issues.

Oh in the next chapter as a starting point - would you like to find out about Rachel's shopping trip with her dad and the reason she was so pleased about the colour lilac? It kinda got neglected this chapter but I figure I could always use it as a starting point for the next if people wanna know about it.

I really look forward to hearing what people think so please, please, please review.

And give a big thanks to both **chunkmunk09 **and **Davis B.P** cos without them I'd probably still be going erm... LOL they put up with my random insomniac ramblings and bear with my shitty internet while waiting for updates in the brainstorming department so big love to both of them. I never thought when writing this I'd end up making some awesome friends like this pair.


	54. Chapter 54

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Continuation: The start of an interesting weekend for Quinn and Rachel - Should be one more chapter to follow this one and then the weekend will be done and over with (OK I said that last time and I'm wrong so I'm just gonna say I hope that the next chapter is the last chapter for the weekend).

**Warning: **I don't think there's anything really to warn about...other than this being sickly sweet and carrying the risk of rotting your teeth LOL

******Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

Rachel couldn't sit still, the adrenaline pumping through her veins accompanied with her raw end nerves made her feel like her entire being was buzzing.

"Sweetie calm down," Quinn watched as the brunette paced the bedroom, going through drawers, the wardrobe, moving things from one place to another just so that she had something to do.

"I am calm," Rachel said absently as she rearranged the music sheets on her desk for the seventeenth time since Puck had picked up Beth.

"And I'm the Virgin Mary," she tried to keep the bitterness from her voice, the Holy name on which she had respected for so many years having become the taunt she received almost daily at school since the knowledge of her pregnancy with Beth had gone public.

"Why do you do that?" Rachel asked, stopping short of what she was doing, feeling guilty that she was slightly thankful to have something else to focus on.

"What?"

"Talk about yourself in a self-deprecating manner," Rachel walked over to where the blonde was perched on the end of the bed, "using the names people use against you against yourself?"

"I don't," Quinn shrugged, "do I?"

"Well in fairness that is the first time I've ever heard you do something like that," Rachel admitted, "but it fell so easily off of your tongue that it leads me to believe that perhaps it's something you do more frequently, even if it's not something you verbalise."

"What's with you and Puck going all psych 101 on my ass?" Quinn laughed nervously before resigning to answer Rachel, "I don't know Rach, I've never really thought about it."

"Sorry," the pregnant girl rushed, "I didn't mean to upset you."

"Upset me?" Quinn's brows furrowed together as she reached for the smaller girls hands and cupped them within her own, "Rach why would that upset me?"

"I don't know, I just, sometimes I say things without really thinking them through and I point out observations I've made which more often than not are inevitably wrong and I just end up upsetting people."

"It's ok to be nervous," Quinn saw the truth barely covered by Rachel's jumbled words.

"I'm not," Rachel breezed, "years of training has prepared me so that I don't get nervous."

"Yeah for performing," Quinn gently pulled the brunette closer to her, until the smaller form was pressed against her knees, "this isn't stage fright though is it?"

"What if they won't let me see you?" Rachel asked in a timid voice as she voiced her fear.

"That won't happen."

"You don't know that."

"You're right I don't know that," Quinn looked up into scared chocolate eyes, "but I really don't think your dads are big on double standards."

"What if they think this is a knee-jerk response because of…"

Quinn brought one of the hands cupped within hers to her lips and gently pressed them to the side of the nervous palm, "Then we'll tell them it's not."

"How can you be so calm about these things?" Rachel asked slightly exasperated.

"Because," Quinn tried to find an answer from somewhere, short of saying because I know your dads won't kick you out she found herself at a loss, "I just am."

Rachel pulled her hands free so that she could sit beside the blonde, "I'm not sure what to say to them."

"Just be honest with them," Quinn soothed as she slid her arm behind Rachel's back, her hand gripping lightly at the girls' waist.

"About everything?" Rachel asked, a meaning hidden in the depths of her voice that she hadn't voiced to anyone.

"Well it might be better if they knew we liked each other before, so yeah."

"I would've told them," Rachel tiptoed her words as she carefully thought about the things she never had the chance to say, "you know that right?"

"About us?" Quinn was confused, had Rachel changed her mind about telling her dads and not told her yet.

"No," Rachel knew she needed to explain further, but there was something niggling away at her, an illogical fear that wouldn't leave her be.

"What would you have told them Rach?" Quinn nudged, her fingers idly stroking the brunette's swollen side.

"All the things I didn't have time to make sense of at the park," Rachel answered, fear tingeing her voice, "that's why I left…so I could talk to my dads, I knew they'd be able to make sense of it…but by the time I got home…I wasn't really in the right frame of mind to talk to anyone so I just went for a shower…"

Quinn fought back the tears that she knew were threatening to streak her cheeks at hearing another way that Karofski had impacted upon the smaller girls life.

"I just don't want them to think I'm not fully invested in being with you," Rachel continued, "I don't want them to panic that I'm going to break."

"They're worried about you," Quinn leant her head against the one beside her so that their hair looked at though it melded, an odd representative of yin and yang, their shades so opposite of the other, "they're not the only ones."

"I'm not going to lie to you Quinn," Rachel's left hand rested so that it was between her thigh and the blonde's, a weak connection between the two of them, "I can't tell you that I'm ok. I think with the baby and everything that perhaps I still haven't fully digested everything, and that maybe because of that the worse is yet to come. I don't know." She paused a moment, slightly turning her head so that Quinn had to lift hers, she looked into the hazel eyes before her noting the different colours that gave them their hazel like appearance and stored the information for a later date, "But I can tell you I'm getting there, I'm not entirely sure where there is but I'm better I suppose. I feel different. I don't feel as I did two months ago, a month ago, or even a week ago and I think that that's a good thing, that maybe I'm making some progress in moving forward."

"Ok," Quinn nodded.

"I'm not going to break," Rachel promised, "I just need people to have a little bit more faith and belief in me. I am not going to break."

"I believe in you, but that doesn't mean that I don't worry about you. I care about you Rach, a lot."

Rachel smiled and palmed Quinn's cheek, "I care about you too," she couldn't help but smile, despite all the shit she had gone through, all the shit she had yet to go through, some good had come of it all.

"What's that look for?" Quinn asked, slightly wary, unsure as she could trust her eyes of what she was seeing.

"What look?" Rachel asked.

"Nothing," Quinn shook her head, she knew that look, it had just been so long since she had seem a smile that reached the singers eyes the way it did just then, it had only lasted a brief moment, "just…it's nothing," she mentally kicked herself, blaming herself for disrupting the spark of life in the rich chocolate pools.

Rachel leant forward and kissed the blonde mother before her, smiling into the soft lips that were under hers. "Has anyone ever told you you're a little peculiar?"

"No," Quinn laughed, "I don't think they have but then again not many people possess your vocabulary."

Rachel blushed slightly at the compliment, or what she chose to take as a compliment, "What time is it?"

Quinn turned her head away reluctantly and noted the time on the clock, "Almost quarter to two."

"Daddy's plane should get in soon," Rachel said, her voice a mixture of excitement and sadness, "I imagine they'll be home around three thirty."

"Does your dad usually pick your daddy up from the airport?"

"No," Rachel smiled fondly, "he usually goes with him, providing his work doesn't interfere. If he can't go though he'll pick him up from the airport, he's usually there half hour early just in case the plane gets in early."

"That's kinda sweet."

"It's just the way they've always been," Rachel shrugged it off as though it were a normality she'd expect to find within any relationship.

"Well it's still sweet," Quinn tried to think of a time when she had seen genuine displays of affections between her parents but couldn't recall any. _Wow my family is so screwed up. No wonder mom and dad are getting divorced._

Rachel's voice cut through Quinn's thoughts, "So what do you want to do?"

"Well you were kinda wiped when I got back yesterday," Quinn smiled, it had been nice to have Rachel fall asleep against her, even nicer that she too had been able to grab a nap while Beth slept, "and then with dinner and the film, you never really told me how your day was yesterday, if you managed to find a colour for the nursery or anything like that."

"Oh," Rachel stood up and offered Quinn her hand, "come with me."

"What?" Quinn arched a finely shaped eyebrow, uncertain how discussing colours could lead to her needing to follow Rachel anywhere.

"Come with me," Rachel repeated, this time tangling her hand with the blonde's and tugging until she stood.

"Rach, what's this got to do with yesterday?"

"You'll see," Rachel chirped as she led Quinn out of the bedroom and across the hall into the spare room.

"If you tell me you painted it yesterday I may have to kill you or something," the young mother muttered.

"No Quinn don't be ridiculous," Rachel laughed at the absurdity, "it would take more than a few hours to paint the entire room, besides Dad wouldn't let me."

"Thank God for that," Quinn uttered under her breath as she waited for Rachel to open the curtains and bathe the room in light, revealing several tins of paint lined neatly at the foot of the bed, "I see you picked a colour then."

"Yeah," Rachel blushed, "it was a lot harder than I had originally anticipated."

"What's with the pieces of paper?" Quinn asked nodding towards the folded papers on top of one of the tins.

"Oh," the blush deepened, "colour meanings."

"Cool," Quinn squatted down besides the tins, "lilac, it's nice, what made you pick that one then?"

"I don't know, it was between lilac and yellow, like the shade in my room but I didn't want her to have the same," Rachel babbled, "I don't know I guess I thought the lilac was…soothing."

"What does it mean?" Quinn asked genuinely interested.

Rachel walked over to the tins of paint and picked up the folded pages. Unfolding the pages she let her eyes glide over the printed words and like before felt triumphant in her mission, "Here," she passed Quinn the correct page.

Quinn eagerly accepted the page and let her eyes focus on the print, scanning until she came across the correct colour.

**Purple has a special, almost sacred place in nature: lavender, orchid, lilac and violet flowers are often delicate and considered precious. Because purple is derived from the mixing of a strong warm and strong cool colour it has both warm and cool properties. A purple room can boost a child's imagination or an artist's creativity. Too much purple, like blue, could result in moodiness.**

"Well," Quinn looked up at the brunette who was watching her anxiously, "I hope she's not an artist, she's gonna be creative enough with you for a mom, boosting her creativity would just be unfair on the rest of the world."

"Do you think I chose the right colour?"

"I think it's perfect," Quinn said as she stood, "I see that paint wasn't the only thing you got yesterday," she turned her head to focus on the bag on the bed that she had glimpsed out of the corner of her eye, the logo emblazoned on it clearing up any questions as to what or more precisely who the contents might be for.

"Yeah, I wanted to show you yesterday," Rachel walked over to the bed and sat on the edge, pulling the bag towards her, "but Puck and then sleep, I sort of lost the point of what I wanted to show you when you got home."

The blonde walked over to the wicker chair that was placed by the window facing the bed and sat down so that she was facing her girl, a smile tugging at her lips as she realised she had just referred to the brunette as her girl, "Show me now?"

"I wasn't going to get anything," Rachel explained as she put her hand inside the bag, "I was going to wait until I could go with Dad and Daddy, but I wanted to go look with Dad. I guess test the waters if that makes sense?" She looked at Quinn who nodded in understanding. "I don't think I've ever felt so small before. It's absurd that even though I'm two months away from her arrival every time that I do something new that's to do with her she suddenly becomes that bit more real. And that sentence made no sense whatsoever I'm sure of it," Rachel let out a small disbelieving laugh, "why is it every time I talk about her I lose the ability to form coherent sentences?"

"I get it, it made sense," Quinn smiled at the girl before her, "it's new and scary and intimidating. I felt like sometimes I was watching someone else live my life, like none of it was real. It was weird."

"Ok, guess it made sense after all," Rachel was relieved, she wasn't stupid, she knew that she would never be able to relate to Quinn's experience nor would Quinn be able to relate to her own but she found comfort in knowing that the blonde at least had a deeper understanding than most, "well while we were there I found this," she pulled a book out of the bag and handed it to Quinn, "I thought maybe it'd be easier to find her a name if I had some to look at…I was hoping that maybe you'd look with me?"

"Of course I'll look with you, I told you I would help didn't I?"

"I know, I just didn't want to assume anything."

Quinn moved so that she was sat next to Rachel, her hand resting lazily on the other girls knee, "You're a dork do you know that?" she said warmly, "If I say I'm gonna do something Rach, I'm gonna do it, I'm not saying it just to make you feel better. I actually want to help."

"I don't understand why."

"When I say I care for you, I mean it," Quinn felt a little apprehensive about her next words, but she needed Rachel to know, "both of you ok?"

Rachel swallowed back the sudden lump that had formed in her throat, "Really?"

"Really."

The small brunette fought back against the surge of emotions fuelled by hormones that brought tears to the brink of her eyes, "I…" she cleared her throat, attempting to find her voice again, "I got something for her."

Quinn sat silently as she watched Rachel's delicate hand retrieve a second item from the bag.

"I know it probably seems stupid," her fingers trembled ever so slightly as she unfolded a cream fleece blanket, "but when I saw it I just…I don't know, I wanted her to have it," she explained as she offered the blanket to Quinn.

The blonde took the blanket and carefully rubbed her fingers against the material, "It feels really nice," Quinn continued to study the material in her hand, searching for the meaning behind the simplicity, it didn't take her long to find it. "Stars," her fingers traced the cluster of stars in the corner, her eyes absorbing the embroidery, taking note of the gold edges and echoes surrounding each star.

Rachel rested her hand on top of Quinn's allowing her fingers to trace the outlines along with the blonde's long, slender digits, "I might not get to be the star anymore but maybe…" she felt Quinn's hand still and she followed suit, her palm resting against the back of the blonde's hand, "maybe she'll be my little star?"

Quinn turned her hand beneath Rachel's so that their hands were palm to palm and laced their fingers, "Star, mini Houdini, whatever you name her, she'll be yours," her eyes stayed focused on the pale yellow encased in gold stars, "you're gonna be an amazing mom Rach."

* * *

**Attention:** Hi *waves* I hope you're all having a good weekend.

First off I want to thank everyone who has ever reviewed - you are all awesome, thank you so much, your reviews have been more than helpful and have helped to create this story so really, thank you! On that note, please, please, please keep the reviews coming they really do help.

Ok so this chapter was a bit of an ass to write and I ended up writing another chapter by accident in this (I've removed it for now but you'll get to read it eventually) and I really must thank **chunkmunk09** and **Davis B.P** for all their help, whether they were brainstorming with me or putting up with me chatting utter crap at 5 o'clock in the morning, they are truly amazing people and I've gained two rather amazing friends which I never expected to happen when I started writing this story - guys you are amazing, never change who you are!

Speaking of **chunkmunk09** we've been discussing the fact that this story is nearing it's end, (although it doesn't seem like it I'm sure) and yes this story must and will come to an end. I've had a few people ask if I'm going to write a sequel and I must admit I am seriously considering it so my first question to you is...

Would you want a sequel to Dirty Little Secret?

If you're answer is yes then send mountains of love to **chunkmunk09** as I've already decided the only way I'll write a sequel is if she continues to be my brainstorming buddy, so if you want a sequel run over to her an start kissing her ass LOL JOKE! But seriously, send mucho love to her, cos I really am only going to write a sequel if I've got my brainstorming buddy in it with me LOL

Right ok so I've been toying with a few ideas, of course I'm not gonna give you the full idea cos well then it'd be spoiled and you wouldn't wanna read it would you? So I have a few questions and believe me that answers are vital cos these ones could have a HUGE impact on the story so get your thinking gaps on boys and girls!

How do YOU think Finn is going to react to the news of Quinn and Rachel?

Would you like to see the more vulnerable side of Quinn?

And finally, quite possibly the most important question at the moment, I know a LOT of people were slightly (or more than) annoyed that Shelby didn't really get to come into the story SO the question is...

Would you like to see Shelby integrated into this story? I finally have a workable idea so it's not like I'm literally just gonna drop her in for good measure.

Oh and apparently a few people are concerned about the idea of having a seven month pregnant girl on a roof, so once again I put this before the judges...

One last ROOF talk between Rachel and Santana, yes or no? (By the way if it's a no, don't panic, there will still be a Rachel/Santana talk)

Right well I hope (pretty please) that people will review this chapter and answer my questions :) I hope you all enjoyed this update and I promise that I will try and get the next chapter done within the next couple of days so that we can finally be done with the weekend LOL

Bye for now!


	55. Chapter 55

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Continuation: The start of an interesting weekend for Quinn and Rachel - The never ending weekend has finally come to an end, will Rachel go through with telling her fathers? Will Quinn keep her calm?

**Warning: **I don't think there's anything really to warn about...apart from this being surprisingly sappy and so un-angsty when compared to the rest of the story LOL

******Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

**

* * *

**

By the time Hiram and Leroy had returned from the airport Rachel has a bundle of nerves. Never had she felt so anxious about talking to her fathers, well with the exception of telling them that she was pregnant and how she had ended up that way but this was a different kind of nervous. It wasn't fear that her fathers would reject her for who she was, after all why would they? To them it never mattered about the identity of who she loved, so long as they treated her right and made her happy they were happy, well for the most part. Leroy hadn't been particularly pleased when Rachel was with Finn. It seemed to Leroy that Finn would always mess Rachel around and he had been secretly pleased the day Rachel had informed them that she had ended things with the clueless quarterback. No, the thing Rachel feared was their doubts. She knew they would suspect this to be a reaction to what had happened. She couldn't blame them or anyone else that thought that, after all it was entirely logical and conceivable that being in a relationship with a woman was a defence mechanism. A way to protect herself from men. But it wasn't, she genuinely wanted to be with the blonde she had been seeing behind her parents backs. That thought brought a pang of guilt. Before January she had been nothing but honest with them. She was going to try to get that back, starting today. She missed the closeness she had shared with her fathers. She wanted it back. She just wasn't sure how to get it back. Or if she even could, but she was going to try.

"Hey girls," Leroy welcomed as he poked his head into his daughters bedroom, "miss me?"

"Hi Leroy," Quinn turned away from Rachel's laptop so that she didn't appear rude.

"Hi Daddy," Rachel sat up from her position on the bed, trying to clear her mind of the thoughts rushing through, "did you have a good trip?"

"I did," Leroy smiled.

"Did you get it?" Rachel asked.

Leroy just smiled in return, and tapped his nose knowingly, "I'm gonna grab a shower, then maybe we could have a light dinner? Have you guys had lunch?"

"Actually…" Rachel thought about it, she had been so wrapped up in her thoughts and showing Quinn the soon-to-be-nursery-guest-room that food had slipped her mind.

"Rae," Leroy tutted, "it's one thing to starve yourself but I'm sure poor Quinn must be famished."

"In all honesty I hadn't really thought about food," Quinn suddenly noticed the emptiness of her stomach, "until now," she added with a giggle.

"I'm starving," Leroy said jokingly, "I swear they offer better meals to death row prisoners than they do on planes."

Rachel rolled her eyes and lay herself back down, the twinge in her back telling her that sitting on propped elbows really wasn't the best decision.

"Right well I'll try to be quick in the shower so we can all eat," Leroy said before his head vanished from the doorframe.

Quinn returned her attention to the laptop screen, scanning the endless spam and junk as she checked her emails.

Rachel couldn't distinguish whether the flutter in her stomach was that of her daughter moving around or some particularly violent butterflies. Her eyes fixated themselves on Quinn's back; tracing the figure of the girl perched on the edge of the desk chair. She was going to tell her dads about their relationship. Even if they did disapprove, which she hoped to God they wouldn't, she wasn't going to give up the blonde, she cared too much for her to just give up on her. She would tell them, she could do this. She wanted to be with Quinn, and she would tell her fathers that, ok she wasn't going to tell them about her wants and desires surrounding the girl in question but she wasn't prepared to deal with them fully herself. She had to remain in control of herself. Rachel allowed her eyes to trace the curve of the blonde's waistline before darting her eyes elsewhere forcing herself to focus on the task at hand. She knew her dads were going to worry that it was too soon for her to be seeing anyone, regardless of their sex. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't come up with an argument against this. Perhaps they would be right, perhaps it was too soon but she wasn't going to let anything stand in her way. Life was full of mistakes, if this turned out to be one of them then so be it. She laughed softly at the thought, if only it was that simple, if only she was as confident as her thoughts were.

"What's so funny?" Quinn's voice broke through her barrage of thoughts.

"It's nothing," Rachel answered, "just thinking about what I'm going to tell my dads."

"Anyone ever tell you you think too much?" Quinn laughed.

"Not that I can recall," Rachel pushed herself so that she was sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed so that she wouldn't be tempted to prop herself on her elbows and provoke the twinge at the base of her spine, "usually they just tell me that I talk to much."

"Well that too," Quinn said cheekily over her shoulder.

Rachel stood and stalked over to the blonde, trying to be as quiet as she could, "Is that so?"

"It's been mentioned to me once or twice," Quinn continued to click through the never-ending supply of junk occupying her inbox.

Rachel continued to tip-toe gingerly towards the back of the girl currently enrapt in emails, all thoughts of seriousness and her impending talk with her fathers pushed aside for the moment. She stopped just behind the blonde, careful as to not cast a shadow against the screen of the laptop. "What you doing?"

"Jesus!" Quinn cried, her body swivelling to take in the close proximity of Rachel.

"No, Rachel," the brunette smiled cheekily.

"You," Quinn clutched her heaving chest, "are too much like your daddy! I swear I'm going to put a bell around your necks so you can't keep sneaking up on me!"

"Shhh!" Rachel said suddenly.

"What?" the blonde was confused, how could the girl before her go from playful to serious in less than a few seconds?  
Rachel gently placed the pad of her thumb against the soft lips before and focused her attention to the sounds throughout the house. It was hard to focus on anything over the rushing water creaking through the pipes. It took her a moment to locate her Dad but as soon as she heard the fast tempo salsa beat wafting up the staircase she knew he was downstairs in the kitchen prancing around as he attempted to dance whilst cooking. Knowing that both her fathers were elsewhere and occupied she reluctantly pulled her thumb away despite her brain telling her to trace the lower lip, to commit the texture against the swirls of her thumb to memory.

"What was that about?" Quinn asked.

Rachel didn't answer, instead she leant forward, the lips that had a moment ago been silenced with her thumb now silenced against her own lips.

"Ok," Quinn smiled, her head resting against the brunette's, "I forgive you."

"Forgive me?" Rachel pulled back.

"Yes I forgive you."

"What for?"

"Shhhing me and not explaining why," hazel eyes traced the curves of the moistened lips before her, "if you're gonna shh me and then kiss me, I think I can forgive you."

"I just wanted to check where Dad was, I knew Daddy was in the shower," Rachel could feel herself getting fidgety under the blonde's stare, "I don't particularly want a repeat of what happened with Mercedes."

Quinn was going to form an answer, she had one in her mind, she had every intention of agreeing with Rachel that her dads finding out about them in the same fashion as Mercedes really wasn't a good idea but it didn't seem as important as seizing the lips in front of her.

It was Rachel who broke the kiss off; she knew that if she kept her lips against the blonde she would give in to her want to explore the tastes hidden behind the silken lips. "Daddy will be finished in the shower soon," she forced the words from her mouth, she knew that there was an element of truth behind them, albeit they had at least another ten minutes before Leroy would re-emerge.

"Ok," Quinn swallowed back the protest burbling beneath the surface, she had felt that pull, the slight shift, the subtle change in pressure from Rachel.

"Maybe we should go see if Dad needs any help with dinner?" Rachel said as she straightened herself, "And check that he hasn't detonated a food bomb in the kitchen."

"What?" Quinn laughed, "A food bomb?"  
"Dad's not so good in the kitchen," Rachel toyed with the idea of grabbing the bag from the guest room to show her Daddy when he joined them downstairs, "me and Daddy came home from shopping one day to find that Dad had attempted to use the blender."

"Ok?" Quinn logged out of her emails, stood and stretched, relishing the way her vertebrae clicked back into place.

"He didn't put the lid on, hence food bomb. The kitchen look like an explosion had taken place," Rachel shrugged, "I'm just gonna grab something from the other room."

"He really forgot to put the lid on?"

"Yep," Rachel's voice floated through from the corridor, "he really did. It was a mess."

Quinn stood in the hallway, "I dread to think what that looked like," she said as Rachel re-emerged with the plastic bag in her hand.

"Like you and Puck when you were baking except everywhere," Rachel noticed the surprised look on Quinn's face, "Finn told me."

"Oh," Quinn remembered Puck's warning and knew she was going to have to tell Rachel, _Not now,_ she pushed the thoughts of her ex-boyfriend as far away as she could and focused her attention on the bag.

Rachel caught sight of the blonde's gaze and pulled the bag against her, almost shyly, "I wanted to show Daddy, I didn't want him to feel like he missed out because he had to work."

"That's a good idea," Quinn noticed the way Rachel held on to the bag, that blanket was the most prized possession she had right now, "he'll be proud of you, you know?"

"Why?" Rachel began the descent down the stairs.

"Because Rach, look at you," she followed a few steps behind, cautious as not to follow too close behind and topple the girl in front of her, "I don't know how he couldn't be. I don't think I know anyone who'd be doing the things you are, I don't think anyone else is that strong."

"You do it."

"That's different and you know it."

"Only if I let it be," Rachel turned to face Quinn once she had reached the bottom of the stairs, "why do I have to let him rule over her?"

"Definitely proud," Quinn nodded, lightly grazing her fingers along Rachel's as she passed and made her way to the kitchen.

Rachel let out an annoyed grunt, she knew she wouldn't be able to push Quinn for an explanation in front of her dad so with a heavy frustrated sigh she followed after the blonde.

"I'm disappointed Hiram," Quinn said light-heartedly.

"Why's that?" Hiram asked as from his spot by the grill.

"Well Rachel was telling me all about your food bomb mishaps."

"Once," Hiram looked over at his daughter mock-accusations across his face, "one time! You're never going to let it go are you?"

"You covered the entire kitchen," Rachel said slowly, deliberately drawing out each word.

"One time!" Hiram countered turning his attention back to what he was doing.

"Entire kitchen!"

Quinn could feel the tug at the corners of her lips, she found herself wondering if this was more of the relationship Rachel had shared with her dads before Karofsky came and fucked it all up.

Rachel wondered over to the island and hopped up, as best as she could given the size of her middle, onto a stool, "What's for dinner?"

"Couscous and grilled veg," Hiram answered.

"Feeling a bit adventurous are we?" Rachel said playfully.

"I'll boot you out of my kitchen if you keep this up," Hiram laughed, he had so very much missed this banter with his daughter, even if it was cheeky and involved her mocking him, he had missed it greatly.

"You're so mean to your Dad," Quinn scolded half-heartedly as she took a perch beside Rachel, subtly letting her knee rest against the pregnant girls.

Rachel swallowed back the lump in her throat from the contact hidden from her father and suddenly found herself glad that she was still clutching the carrier bag in her hands, removing the temptation to rest a hand on the denim clad knee that rested against her own.

"What are you doing to your poor Dad now?" Leroy asked as he entered the kitchen.

Rachel swivelled on the stool, reluctantly moving her legs away from the devious blonde beside her, guilt creeping its way through her mind, "Nothing."

"And why do I find that hard to believe?" Leroy chuckled.

"I did nothing Daddy," she said sweetly, regaining her composure.

"And yet you look as guilty as sin," Leroy pointed out, his eyes noticing the bag within his daughters grasp, "what's with the bag sweetheart?"

"Oh," Rachel tightened her grip subconsciously, "I wanted to show you something."

"Rae," Hiram spoke over the clatter of cutlery as he rifled through the drawer, "why don't you go show Daddy in the dining room, away from all the food out here, you wouldn't want to get it dirty."

"What about helping you?" Rachel asked.

"I'll stay," Quinn offered, she knew Rachel needed the chance to share a moment with her Daddy, it hadn't taken her long to realise that Leroy would always be Daddy to Rachel and that she would always be a Daddy's girl. It wasn't anything against Hiram, Quinn realised this, but Rachel was so much more like Leroy in regards to who she was it was undeniable that she was Daddy's little girl.

"You sure?" Rachel asked, unsure as to whether she should leave Quinn to help out with dinner, it didn't matter how much time she spent at the Berry household she was still a quest.

"Yes," Quinn said authoritively, her tone leaving no room for questioning.

"Come on Rae," Leroy nodded towards the dining room, "you've got my intrigued as to what's in that bag that you wouldn't want to get dirty."

Rachel mouthed a silent thank you to Quinn as she clambered down from her stool and followed after Leroy into the dining room.

"Your dad was telling me on the way back from the airport you found a colour to paint the nursery," Leroy said as he took his usual spot at the dining table.

"Did he tell you how long it took?" Rachel asked semi-cautiously as she sat in the seat beside her father.

"He did say it was a little difficult to find the right colour," he smiled warmly at his daughter, "but then again what would you expect when faced with a multitude of colours?"

"Did he tell you about the other place we went?"

"He did, but he wouldn't tell me if you bought anything."

"Really?"

"I promise," Leroy's voice was full of sincerity, "he wouldn't utter a word to me about it, he just said you went for a look round and that maybe next weekend we could go the three of us."

"Yeah," Rachel replied, a little hope filtering through her voice, "I'd like that."

"Then that's what we'll do."

Rachel fiddled with a handle on the bag, it's rustle seeming unusually loud, "I bought something…when we there…"

Leroy sat waiting patiently, his urge to question what she had purchased overridden by his understanding of his daughter. He knew that when something mattered, truly mattered to her, it took her that little bit longer to find her words and that she would speak at a pace that most people would consider normal but was surprisingly slow for her.

"I got this…" she pushed the bag towards her father, "for her…"

Leroy carefully removed the blanket from the carrier and unfolded it, watching as the cream material creased and flowed as though it were the liquid of its named colour. He felt a wave of emotion surge through him that his daughter had thought to buy something for her daughter in the first place, given the circumstances she was conceived under it would be fully understandable and in a way easier to understand for her to reject the child and distance herself from anything to do with it but Rachel being Rachel she was sympathetic and compassionate towards the unborn child, that alone filled him with pride. He knew that very few women who were unfortunate to find themselves in this situation would show the courage his daughter was showing every single day, that wasn't to say they were in any way cowardly on the contrary the mere fact that they went about living after enduring such horrific things made them stronger than most.

He dared a glance towards his daughter, and took note of every crease and line that was etched into her face as she looked at him expectantly, anxiety radiating from her eyes. It was too much for him to bear; it was the face he had seen many times during her childhood. The time she had got her first A+, the day she landed her first lead in the school play, the day she had completed and passed her first singing grade. It was the look of searching her father to find the reinforcement that she had done well. Leroy forced himself to focus on the fleece within his hands, searching for the significance that lay within the simple material. He shifted his hands slightly so that he could rotate the blanket. The corners that were at the top a moment ago and folded over now revealed and lay cradled in the palm of his large, muscular hands. Stars, it had to be stars. He felt a pain burning within his lungs, a dull fire of loss that came with knowing that Rachel's dreams of being a star had been viciously stolen from her. He felt the sting in the corners of his eyes before he'd even registered his blurred vision.

"Daddy?"

Leroy pushed his chair back from the table; the blanket held in one hand, he patted his knee with the other, "Come here baby."

Rachel pushed herself out of her chair and stood nervously in front of her father, unsure as to whether she should embrace him the way she used to do without a second thought. However the apprehension wasn't for the reasons she expected from herself, she found her voice, timid and embarrassed, "I'm not as light as I used to be."

"Shhh," Leroy tapped his knee again and was this time granted his wish as Rachel sat on his knee and threw her arms around his neck. Leroy tried to keep himself together, the combination of the close proximity of his daughter for the first time all year and the gesture towards her daughter stirred with his pride at the woman she had quickly become when he hadn't been looking. He wished he knew that words to tell her everything he wanted her to hear, but the lump in his throat and his happiness of being able to hold his daughter reduced him to whispers as he stroked the ends of her hair and the top of her back, "I am so, very proud of you."

Rachel tightened her grip around her father, her face buried in the crook of his neck as she tried to fight back the tears that threatened to leak and stain his skin and clean shirt collar, "Do you think she'll like it?"

"She'll love it sweetheart," Leroy leant his head against the luxurious brunette hair.

They sat there for several moments, each of them doing their own internal battle to stave off their tears.

Quinn stood nervously in the doorway for a second before returning with the cutlery and salt and peppershakers to the kitchen.

"Everything ok Quinn?" Hiram asked, surprised that she had returned with the items she was going to take through to the other room.

"Yeah," Quinn said a little uncertain, her own thoughts causing havoc within her mind, "I just didn't want to intrude."

"Intrude? Quinn, you're pretty much a permanent fixture here. How can you intrude?" Hiram asked as he began to finish up cooking and readied the plates.

"Leroy and Rachel just looked like they needed a little longer," Quinn answered honestly.

"Hmm," Hiram mused over the plates, toying with the idea of going to check on his husband and daughter but feeling rude abandoning Quinn.

Quinn could see the struggles as they played over Hiram's slightly worn features, "I can take over dishing up," she offered, "I don't mind."

"Thanks Quinn," Hiram smiled sincerely at the young mother, she was rather perceptive for such a young woman, "I'll just be a minute."

"Ok," Quinn stepped into the role of finishing serving up dinner, thankful for a task to focus on. She found herself suddenly having doubts about Rachel telling Hiram and Leroy of their relationship, she knew they wouldn't reject Rachel for being with her, but what if they were upset about the way they had continued to explore a relationship further afield from friendship for several weeks without their knowledge. Surely if that were to happen it would hinder some of the progress and healing she had witnessed over the last half hour between Rachel and her fathers.

"Everything's fine," Hiram said snapping her out from her thoughts, she had finished plating the meals without even noticing that she had done so.

"I'll start taking these through," Quinn felt the need to be doing something, she had to figure out if today was the right time for Rachel to tell her fathers about them and she had little time in which to do it in.

Hiram followed behind her carrying the last two plates before he vanished twice again to bring through two wine glasses and two tumblers of squash as had become routine during the mealtimes since the girls had both refused the wine offered to them weeks ago.

They sat through their meal the same way they had done many others, chatting idly between mouthfuls as they discussed the weekend and the things they had each missed out on. Quinn and Rachel tactfully skirting around Quinn's conversation with Puck concerning her and Rachel. However even though they had successfully avoided the conversation throughout the meal it brought both girls to focus on the impending revelation to the adult Berry's. Although each girls thoughts were opposites of the others. Whilst Quinn worried that the revelation could harm the healing that had began between the family, Rachel hoped that it would only strengthen and aid the healing. The brunette felt that now was the time to be honest with her fathers, things before their dinner had felt so much like a time that felt like it belonged to another life and she felt that being truthful as she had been in that other life would help to bring it forth and anchor small pieces of it in her life now. So she waited her time, she would wait until they had finished eating and were all sat slumped in their chairs with pleased stomachs.

They talked about Quinn's mothers reluctance to buy a second hand car, Hiram informed his husband of his daughters desire to paint the soon-to-be-nursery-guest-room as soon as they had returned with the paint, Leroy complained happily about having spent the weekend in board rooms hashing out details and melding ideas until he had successfully landed the contract that would boost not only the companies but his reputation and Rachel sat and listened, focusing on each voice as they each took turn to speak and relished the comfort she found within each voice.

Hiram was the first to push away from the table, slouching slightly in his chair, "Well I don't think I did too bad, do you?" he said pleased with the outcome of his dinner.

"It was good Dad," Rachel said, attempting to keep the nerves from her voice, this was it, she knew it, everyone would praise her Dad for the dinner they had all enjoyed and then it would be her turn to take the floor.

"It was really nice Hiram," Quinn could feel her palms sweating, she'd heard the tiny crack in the good that gave away Rachel's intentions, "I've never had couscous before."

"Really?" Hiram asked, "Why didn't you say something? I wouldn't of minded doing something else for you."

"You never know if you like something if you don't try it right?" Quinn smiled at him, she knew that pretty soon he'd pick up on the double meaning of the sentence, "And I didn't want to cause you any more trouble and I'm glad I didn't, it really was tasty."

"It was nice babe," Leroy like his husband pushed back from the table but instead of slouching he sat at straight as he could, stretching his back out, "I think me and Rae should let you cook more often, what'd you think Rae?"

"Y-yeah," her voice gave her away this time, there was no way of hiding it, she had done the one thing she had never done.

"You ok sweetheart?" Leroy's words rushed, almost crashing into each other.

"I'm fine Daddy," the starlet cleared her throat, trying to reaffirm her voice, willing it to work the way it should, "I kind of have something important that I want to tell you," she looked at each of her fathers, and could see that they too were nervous and remembered the last time she had something important to tell them it had been her now very obvious pregnancy. "It's nothing bad, at least I hope you won't think it's bad," she knew she was beginning to ramble and that if she didn't get to the point soon she would lose her nerve, "I'm a little nervous," she admitted.

"We're all ears," Leroy promised.

"Just take your time Rachel," Hiram knew her full name was required; it was the one thing without fail that had always reassured her they were taking her seriously.

Her head was hung low, her almost black-brown locks falling and hiding her eyes, allowing her a quick glance towards Quinn, giving her what she needed. "I'm seeing someone."

Quinn found herself wishing that Rachel would get it done and over with so that she could suffer the fallout should there be one. _Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! _She tried to hide herself, the expression on her face which she was sure would gave away what Rachel was trying to tell her dads so she brought the glass tumbler to her lips and drank deeply suddenly aware of how her mouth felt like the Sahara and her throat felt as though it were clogged with sand.

"Oh Rae please don't tell me you're back with Finn?" Leroy didn't bother to hide the distaste from his voice.

Quinn inhaled deeply at the wrong moment, the mention of Finn having caught her off guard and she began to sputter as squash bypassed its original destination of travel and began to fill her lungs. She slapped her palm against the top of her breastbone, allowing air to flood back into her lungs as the sputter came to an end, "Sorry."

"You ok?" Hiram asked eying up Quinn.

"Yeah," the blonde swallowed and found that her throat had a slight burning sensation, "I breathed in at the wrong time, I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing."

"You sure you're ok?" Hiram asked again, looking at Quinn knowingly but relented when she nodded her head.

Rachel looked at Quinn, and realised that the golden haired mother was just as nervous as she was and found it oddly comforting. She only allowed herself a brief look to confirm that Quinn was indeed alright, before answering Leroy, "No Daddy, I'm not back with Finn. Things with Finn and I are done, we had our chance and it didn't work out."

"Thank God for that," Leroy muttered.

"Be nice," Hiram chided.

"Are you sure this is the right time to be seeing someone sweetheart? I mean with everything that you've had to deal with and the baby being so close…" Leroy had his concerns, Rachel had enough on her plate right now she didn't need the added pressure of nursing a fledgling relationship and raising a baby, she didn't need the risk of a broken heart.

"It feels right," Rachel said, her voice full of conviction, she truly believed the words escaping her lips, her earlier insecurities and worries evaporating as she realised that she would somehow make them understand.

"And he's alright with the baby?" Hiram asked, he shared Leroy's worries but he also knew that Rachel needed their support, "He knows what happened?"

Rachel took a steadying breath, the room suddenly felt very warm and her cheeks as though they were ablaze, _You can do this,_ "She knows," she took another breath, "she understands about my baby."

Leroy stared at Rachel shell-shocked, this he hadn't seen coming and his mind raced to place all the pieces together.

Hiram looked at his daughter knowingly and waited for his husband to catch up with what he had just been told.

"I know that you'll probably think that this is a way of protecting myself," Rachel's voice grew stronger with every word, she knew they needed to know the truth surrounding everything and she knew it was going to hurt them but she needed them to understand, how would they believe her if her voice was shaky and cracked? "Please try to understand, I wanted to tell you about this, everything. I wanted you to know what was going on, but I was scared. This isn't something new, this has been there for a lot longer than any of this." She paused to take a sip of her drink, she needed something to prevent her throat from closing up on her, "I know you know everything that I told the police, that you saw the video…I know you know I was at the park," she swallowed, fighting back the replay of images unfolding in her mind, she wouldn't let him keep doing this to her, she had to do this, she wanted to do this, even if it meant a night of little sleep, "I was trying to understand. I didn't understand why things with Finn didn't…fit. I wanted to understand everything that I was feeling; all these things that I know you would've been able to help me with. I was coming home to talk to you but I didn't…when I got home I couldn't…"

Leroy could no longer fight against the stream of tears that were racing silently down his cheeks. Hiram's eyes glistened as more and more of his precious daughters nightmare was revealed to them. This was the most Rachel had ever said to them about what she had been through and it felt like a searing hot blade twisting in their gut.

Rachel was joined in their tears, the pain burning in her fathers eyes eating at her more than she had imagined it would, "I wanted to tell you so much…"

Quinn couldn't take it anymore, she wasn't prepared to sit by and watch Rachel struggle. She moved her chair round the side of the table so that she were beside the brunette and laced her fingers with the trembling hand closest to her, "You're ok," she whispered.

Rachel nodded and swallowed back the fresh wave of tears threatening to shatter her, "I couldn't tell you, I didn't know how to tell you without telling you about what happened."

Leroy hid behind his massive hands, trying to spare his daughter the mask of pain and sorrow he knew he was wearing freely.

"Oh Rae," Hiram choked as he reached forward and cupped Rachel's free hand within his own.

"I really wanted to tell you," Rachel tried to stem the flow of tears that were busy leaving snail trails in their wake, thankful that Quinn was beside her, "I just…how could I?"

"Shhh," Hiram soothed, his thumbs rubbing over the tensed hand in his, "it doesn't matter sweetheart, you've told us now."

Leroy wiped at his eyes with his sleeves, "Just look at me," he tried to infuse humour into his voice. He finished drying his eyes, knowing that there would be more tears to come later that evening behind the closed door of his and Hiram's bedroom. "Thank you Rae," his voice was strained, and cracked as though he had laryngitis. Rachel looked at him in confusion, "I finally feel like I have my little girl back, I know it's not the same sweetheart," he stretched a hand towards Rachel's cheek and gently wiped away tears with the back of his hand, "but I've missed you so much."

Rachel gently squeezed Quinn's hand, silently asking that she let go and soon returned to her earlier position on Leroy's lap, arms wrapped around his neck.

Hiram blinked rapidly, willing that there be no more tears shed in front of his daughter before allowing his eyes to fall to the girl who watched the revelation silently, "So…this is why you were reluctant to accept the key yesterday huh?"

Quinn blushed under his focus and try to find the words to say how sorry she was for accepting the key under false pretences.

"Wait…" Leroy's head snapped up, causing Rachel to loosen her grip and sit at an angle so that she could see the blonde, "Quinn tried to refuse the key?"

Hiram rolled his eyes at his husband, "Catch up Leroy. Quinn's the girl."

"Huh?" Leroy had gotten lost, his mind still digesting everything, he was far too much like his daughter, his brain was currently dissecting every piece of information he had been given.

"THE girl," Hiram said again, his eyes darting between Quinn and Rachel.

"What?" Leroy's eyes darted towards his daughters face, "Rach?"

"That's what I was trying to tell you," she almost laughed at the look of shock on Leroy's face, "but I needed you to know everything else and then it all ended up in tears and"

"OK Rae, I'm caught up," Leroy stopped his daughters babbling and looked at Quinn, "so you're THE girl huh?"

"I'm sorry for not telling you both sooner," Quinn said guiltily.

"It's my fault," Rachel rushed, "I asked her not to tell anyone."

"It's ok girls," Hiram soothed, "no one's mad. What's there to be mad about? So how long has this been going on for?"

Rachel squirmed from Leroy's lap and returned to her place beside Quinn, she knew they were going to get the Spanish inquisition, "Since Mercedes went away," she knew her fathers would be able to work the dates out for themselves from that.

"A little while then. Well I must admit girls you kept that one very quiet," Leroy teased, "What about Beth?"

Quinn smiled, she loved the way Hiram and Leroy loved her daughter so much, "I spoke with Puck yesterday," she admitted guiltily, "he's fine with everything, he was actually really great about it all. We're not going to hide from Beth, I know this will affect her as she grows up but right now everything stays the same really, she'll still spend a week with me and then with Puck and as she gets older well we'll explain it to her."

"Are you both happy?" Hiram asked his eyes focused on his daughters.

"I'm happier than I have been," Rachel admitted, "I know it's not the answer everyone wants, but I'm just being honest. I'm happier when I'm with Quinn, it's like…" she paused a minute, chewing on her lower lip, "he's the constant cloud that follows me and keeps me in the dark but when I'm with Quinn he's a shadow and I feel more like I'm getting back to me." She could feel the eyes on her, provoking the heat that was climbing her neck to sit in her cheeks, "She makes me want to smile," she added bashfully.

"And Quinn," Leroy levelled his eyes with the hazel belonging to the blonde, "are you happy?"

"I think I am," Quinn smiled, "I've never known anyone like Rachel."

"She's our one of a kind," Hiram said proudly.

"Are you going to tell your Mom?" Leroy asked.

"Not right now," Quinn knew this would pop up, "things are still settling down, we're only just getting used to each other again."

"We're not going to push you into Quinn," Hiram added, "but don't you think you should?"

"I know that I probably should," she agreed with them, her mom did need to know, she no longer wanted to live life as strangers the way they had before, "but I have to think about Beth."

"You're worried she'll kick you again," Hiram stated, "well whether you like it or not Quinn you and Beth are a part of this family, more so than we had originally realised, you will never find yourself unwelcome here, ok?" He waited for Quinn to acknowledge his words which she did with a polite nod, "You should try talking to her, she may surprise you."

"Thank you," Quinn ushered.

"Ok," Leroy steered the conversation towards the things he knew his daughter would be expecting of them, "I think Hiram will agree with me, it's too late to be setting up any kind of rules. Rae you know how this house works, love is always accepted no matter what form it comes in, but I want you to take things slowly ok? This is new to both of you; you both have or very soon will have your own children to raise. That kind of stress can put a lot of pressure on anybody's relationship, never mind that you guys have senior year to focus on as well. Things are going to be difficult. So I just want you both to be careful ok? We love you both and we don't want to see either of you hurt, do we babe?"

"Of course we don't," Hiram continued, "just remember to be honest and respectful with each other. Quinn I know I don't have to warn you about breaking Rae's heart, that would be pretty stupid of me, just like Leroy says, don't go rushing into this."

"Ok," Rachel's words were soft, she was oddly calm despite the threatening images she knew were headed her way, but how could she not be calm. Her fathers hadn't rejected or try to dissuade her relationship with Quinn.

"Right well I'm not sure about you lot," Leroy said as he pushed himself away from the table, "but I think it's time to crash in front of the TV and not think about anything."

"I like your Daddy," Quinn said, "he's a smart man."

"I thought I was the smart one?" Hiram feigned hurt.

"You're the great cook," Quinn laughed, things seemed a lot lighter, her earlier fears had no grounding, they had been irrational. She stood and offered her hand to Rachel, who eagerly accepted it.

"Thank you," Rachel said she stood up facing the blonde.

Hiram and Leroy cleared the table and cluttered about noisily in the kitchen, giving the girls a change to be alone before they joined them in the lounge.

"What for?" Quinn asked.

"Knowing when I needed you by me," Rachel smiled lazily.

Quinn placed a chaste kiss against the salt-stained lips, "Thank you for letting me be there for you."

"I'm so going to fall asleep in on the couch," Rachel laughed.

"Yeah," Quinn knew the feeling, "too much excitement this weekend eh?"

"It worked out ok though."

"Yeah," Quinn gently tasted the salted skin once more, "it did."

* * *

**Attention:** Hey all! I hope you enjoyed this update, sorry it was so damn long! LOL I'm also sorry about the end, I'm not quite happy with it but I couldn't come up with a better alternative and I know you've been waiting patiently as it is.

OK a few questions, some are a repeat from last update.

1) Shelby - seems to be a bit of split vote at the minute - would you like to see her in this story? I have a workable plan as to how to incorporate her.

2) The rest of the group will be told before they all return to school, but do the girls tell the rest of the club members individually or as a group?

3) Is there anything you would like to see Rachel/Santana talk about?

4) Quinn will be telling her mom about her relationship with Rachel (I've yet to decide whether it'll be in this story or the sequel seeing as I'm trying to wind this one down) how do you think Judy will react? Is she going to fly off the handle or is there a softer side to Judy Fabray that was repressed behind the alcohol and domineering husband?

5) Does the douche back Karofsky have a younger brother?

6) There seems to be another split vote when it comes to Rachel/Santana and the roof - so again will the girls chat on the roof or somewhere perhaps a little safer?

7) You ever wondered why Q, S and B go by initial?

and I'm out of questions for now LOL

Ok so I have to say, I did my very best with this chapter but it was REALLY difficult to write, if something doesn't work for you that's fair enough but please be constructive in your criticisms ok? Can ya tell I'm kinda nervous about this chapter? Haha.

Anyways I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I beg you pretty PLEASE review :)

As always thanks to the wonderful **chunkmunk09** and ** Davis B.P** - you guys ROCK!


	56. Chapter 56

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Rachel and Santana end up talking about Quinn...the roof leads to a new place for the girls where they encounter someone that's not exactly greeted with open arms...

**Warning: **Language

******Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

She stood in her room alone, her eyes studying her reflection against the cold pane of glass that led to her place of freedom for thought. Her brunette locks were in need of trimming, she could see that the last few months had allowed for the ends to become slightly tattered from the neglect of not being treated the ways she used to treat them. Her chocolate eyes almost seemed lost even to herself, she could see the tiredness in them from the lack of sleep and the constant emotional battles but she could see the slightest hint of hope and happiness in them that seemed to be growing stronger, she knew there was strength within them and that it was growing. That thought twitched the corners of her lips; she allowed her mind to wander, to collect all the reasons in her life she had to smile about. Her friends – even now that felt strange, she had never been popular, at most people had tolerated her but now she had genuine friends. Her fathers – things were beginning to improve, she could turn to them for something as simple as a hug without feeling the need to run, granted she was still a little tense at the contact but she was relaxing, she was regaining the honesty she had once had with them and she knew that the weekend had played a large part in bringing them back together as a family. The weekend, now that was a reason to smile, Quinn. For some unfathomable reason Quinn liked her and cared about her, the blonde had chosen her before any of this had happened.

Her eyes traced her reflection until they rested at the bottom of the pane, her swollen stomach not looking as obvious in the black t-shirt she had chosen earlier in the morning. The idea of being a mother terrified her, but she was determined to be the best mother she could be. She knew people thought she was…odd she supposed for keeping her daughter, but that was it at the end of the day the child growing inside of her was _her_ daughter.

Rachel reached for the latch on the window, her eyes catching the stark white within tan on her left forearm. The scars were surprisingly bright in contrast to the rest of her skin. She forced her gaze away and focused on the spot on the roof where she would soon find her solace as she slid the window upward. She stood for a moment and relished the rush of air. Her phone beeped urgently from her desk and she relented to retrieve the item, if only to shut it up.

**I'm bored. What you doing? S**

Rachel almost laughed that Santana had texted her, this was getting beyond coincidental that the Latina always seemed to have this inbuilt sixth sense of whenever she was doing something involving the roof.

**Thinking. Why? **

She pressed send and pocketed the phone as she made her way back to the window. She had barely managed to walk two foot before her phone shrilled from inside her pocket. She sighed in defeat and retrieved it from her pocket, not in the least surprised to see Santana's name flashing across her screen.

"Hello Santana."

"Berry tell me you're not on that fucking roof!"

"Not yet," Rachel answered honestly, what was the Latina going to do to stop her honestly? She wasn't there to stop her from clambering out of the window if she saw fit to.

"Don't fucking think about it," Santana shouted down the phone, "I mean it Berry."

"Where else do you propose I go?" Rachel shot back, it was either the roof or the swings in her mind and she was in no way ready to go back to the swings.

The Latina sighed, loud enough to carry over the rush of wind that crackled down the line, "Get your shit together, we're going out."

"What? Where?" Rachel rushed.

"I haven't got that far yet," Santana admitted.

"Then why should I go anywhere when I haven't the faintest hint of where I am headed?"

"Berry stop arguing and get your shit together."

"But-"

"See you in 10."

"Santana!"

"Too late Berry I'm in my car, get your shit," and with that the Latina hung up.

Rachel huffed in frustration, stomped towards the window and slammed it shut. She did not like being told what she could and could not do and for the briefest moment she was tempted to sit on the roof out of spite but was not quite willing to brave the wrath of Santana. She knew and the Latina had told her before, pregnant or not Santana would kick her ass if need be.

She braced herself on the windowsill and rested her head against the glass, a shiver racing down her spine upon the cool contact of glass against her fiery forehead. Rachel took a moment to allow herself to calm, there was no use in getting angry over such trivial things. Santana Lopez was and always would be a bossy bitch, it was what made her who she was, but Rachel was not in the mood for company. Her dads were at work and Quinn was elsewhere and had been the last three days, this was her opportunity to take the time to herself and dissect her life until she had reached a conclusion as to what her next plan of action should be.

Rachel wasn't sure whether it was the chill of the glass or her lack of energy but her anger was short lived and soon she felt much calmer. She thought about changing her shirt for something a little less fitted but that involved effort and she couldn't be bothered with it. She stuffed her phone back in her pocket after looking for it only to realise it was still in her hand, grabbed her keys and purse and headed downstairs.

She decided to wait outside in the cool breeze and was welcomed with the sight of Santana pulling up at the bottom of the pathway just as she was pulling the front door shut.

"Move your ass Berry," Santana shouted.

Rachel shook her head and locked the door, before deliberately taking a slow walk towards the car.

"C'mon I ain't got all fucking day," the Latina griped.

"Yeah, yeah," Rachel grumbled as she climbed into the passenger seat, "so Santana to what do I owe the pleasure of being practically dragged out of my house for?"

"I'm bored."

"I'm here because you're bored?"

"Pretty much," Santana smirked as she pulled away from the kerb.

"You are unbelievable do you know that?" Rachel huffed.

"Jesus Berry what crawled up your ass?"

"Nothing, I just don't appreciate being told that I can't do something and then being dragged out without even knowing where the hell I'm going."

"Berry chill, it's not good for the baby," Santana chanced a glance at the seething girl next to her, "which is exactly why you shouldn't be on the roof. Besides look at you."

Rachel stared down at herself, "What am I looking at?"

"You really think you'd be able to climb out the window?" Santana laughed, hoping that it would be enough to let the girl beside her know that she wasn't saying the words in meanness. "Exactly," she nodded to herself deciding that Rachel's silence was one of defeat, "besides Q would have my ass if she knew you were on the roof and I knew and did nothing bout it – I like my ass the way it is."

"Fine you win!" Rachel let out a deep, drawn out sigh, "No more roof until after she's born, but after that I'm going back to the roof or you can help me find a new place to sit and think."

"Whatever, so long as you're not on the roof while you're knocked up," Santana shrugged, "Q ain't got nothing to kill me for, so deal."

"So why did you text me in the first place?" Rachel asked genuinely interested.

"B's booked, last day with cousin before having to go to the airport at stupid o'fucking-clock and Q's with her mom," Santana answered.

"So that left me?"

"You think I'm gonna willingly spend time with any of the others?"

"I'm not sure whether to take that as a compliment or to be offended for myself and the others."

"Don't think about it," Santana said as she pulled away from the traffic lights.

"So have you figured out where you're taking me hostage to or are you just driving about aimlessly?" Rachel quipped.

"Hostage? Pfft! You wish Berry."

Rachel turned so that she could glare at Santana, but to little effect.

"We're here," Santana announced as she pulled into parking lot.

"Oh God, are you insane?" Rachel shrieked.

"What?"

"The mall? Are you freaking serious?"

"What's the big?" the Cheerio didn't see the big deal as she parked and killed the engine.

"I didn't bring a jacket or anything!" Rachel cried.

"Berry calm the fuck down already," Santana couldn't keep the amusement from her voice, "I hate to tell you this, but it wouldn't matter what you wore, you ain't hiding that" she pointed at Rachel's stomach, "so quit your bitchin' and lets move it already."

"I can't…"

Santana was already out of the car, "Yeah you can."

"But-"

"Berry!" the Latina's head reappeared in the open doorway, "Get your ass outta the car."

"But people will stare," Rachel sounded like a frightened child.

"Then let them," Santana shot back before reconsidering her choice of words, "look if it gets too bad, I'll tell them where to stick it an we can go buy ya a sweatshirt or something, just get your ass outta the car…please?"

"Did you just say please?" Rachel mocked as she tried to calm herself.

"Shut up," Santana shot back as she recoiled her head and slammed the door, certain of her success.

"I'm sure I'll end up regretting this," Rachel muttered to herself as she got out of the car.

"See? Not that hard after all."

"Shut up," Rachel laughed.

"Since when do you tell me to shut up?" Santana quirked an eyebrow, a smile threatening her pursed lips.

"Since when do you resort to willingly spending time with me?"

"Well played Berry," Santana smirked as the unlikely pair made their way across the parking lot, "you're getting good at this game."

"Guess that means I've been spending too much time with you then."

"Ok, you're getting too good."

"So what exactly are we going to do?" Rachel asked, slightly afraid of the answer.

"School starts soon…" Santana pondered before a wicked smile played across her lips, "we could look into getting you something new."

"Is there really much point? I'm only going to be in school a month before I'll have to shop for a new wardrobe anyway."

"Don't care, jeans and t-shirt are boring me to the extent I'm missing the argyle – you know that can't be good."

Rachel shook her head in disbelief, "There really is no pleasing you is there?"

"No."

"And people say I'm impossible."

"I think you mean intolerable."

"Oh," she tried to hide the hurt in her voice, "well that too."

"Lighten up Berry, it's a joke." Santana walked beside Rachel in silence before adding, "You can't be too bad I suppose. I mean Q obviously seems to think you're alright."

The mention of Quinn brought a smile to the singers face, and Santana found herself relieved, Quinn would not be pleased if she went about upsetting her girl.

"This thing with you and Q…"

"What about it?"

"Are you sure it's a good idea?" Santana noticed the panicked look on Rachel's face, "Don't look at me like that I just mean are you ready for this?"

"Yeah I am," Rachel nodded as though it would strengthen her words, "I can't let him rule my life forever."

"You know what Berry?"

"What?"

"You're stronger than everybody thinks you are."

"Erm…thanks."

The girls continued to walk through the busy mall, passing shops without really taking notice of any of them.

"Santana?"

"Yeah?"

"If you wanted to talk to me, why didn't you just say so?"

Santana took a second too long in answering, "Who said I wanted to talk to you?"

"Is that really your answer?"

Santana sighed, "Look I just worry about Q ok? I don't want her getting hurt," reluctantly she found herself adding, "or you."

Rachel fought against the urge to hug the Latina, knowing that she would be pushing the steely Cheerio too far if she did. "I'm not going to you know? Hurt Quinn I mean."

"Good," Santana replied gruffly, trying to regain her tough exterior.

"Have you seen Quinn lately?" Rachel asked.

"Not really," Santana admitted, "I'm gonna swing by hers later though."

"Have you seen anyone else?" Rachel asked the smells of the food court began to draw them nearer.

"The guys minus Kurt an Wheels, Q, seen B a couple of times but she's got family visiting."

"I wish you wouldn't call Artie Wheels," Rachel scolded.

"Uhhuh," Santana replied distractedly, her eyes focused away from the girl beside her, thoughts of the food court and their friends gone as she mumbled, "Shit."

"What's wrong?"

Santana snapped her attention back to Rachel hoping she wouldn't see what she had, "Nothing Berry."

"Santana Lopez I do not like being lied to."

"Hello Rachel."

Rachel stopped short, words failing her as she took in the sight of the woman before her.

"I didn't know it was asshole day," Santana spat.

"Santana," Rachel almost stuttered as she tried to regain her composure. "Shelby," she greeted attempting to appear unflustered by her mothers' sudden appearance.

"I didn't get a chance to congratulate you all after the competition," Shelby said awkwardly, painfully aware of change from Mom to Shelby, even mother would've been better than Shelby, "you were amazing."

"You've said you piece," Santana straightened herself and crossed her arms across her chest, in an attempt to intimidate the woman.

Rachel shot the Latina a withering stare, of all the times to be protective now wasn't one of them, she could hold her own when it came to her mother. "Thank you," she noticed the way the older woman's gaze seemed to graze her stomach and she instinctively wrapped her arms around the ever-expanding bump, "was there something else you wanted to say?"

"I'd really like to talk to you," Shelby's eyes darted between the two girls, "privately. Whenever it suits you."

"You're fucking kidding me," Santana muttered not so quietly.

"I don't know how I should respond to that," Rachel answered coolly yet honestly.

"You don't have to answer right now," Shelby offered, "take a day or two to think about it. You have my number, just give me a call."

"I'll think about it," Rachel answered stoically, not wanting to give her mother false hope.

"Ok," Shelby smiled warmly at her daughter, "you look good Rachel." She turned on her heel and began to leave, "I hope I hear from you."

"I'll think about it," Rachel repeated as she watched her mother walking away from her.

"You ok?" Santana asked, half tempted to go and smack the coach of Vocal Adrenaline.

"Yeah," Rachel said absently, "tired." It wasn't a lie, suddenly she found herself drained, her mind racing and replaying the last few minutes on loop.

"That woman's got a fucking nerve," the Latina growled.

"Don't…just…" Rachel pinched the bridge of her nose, a headache beginning to form in her temples, "take me home?"

"Sure Berry," Santana linked her arm with the smaller girls and navigated her through the crowds. _Q really ain't gonna like this.

* * *

_

**Attention:** Ok so I hope this is ok for everyone. I can't believe this is chapter 56 how on earth did we get this far? Thank you all so much for reading, especially those of you who have been with me since the beginning!

No questions today that I can think of other than...

Will Rachel call Shelby?

Right unfortunately this is the last update for the next week days, I got a friend visiting and I gotta help her pack up her old flat so I hope you all have a brilliant weekend.

Please, please review, they keep me going.

TTFN!


	57. Chapter 57

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Santana has some news for Quinn but it might not be the truths she's expecting to hear...

**Warning: **Language

******Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

"Berry know you're a secret bookworm?" Santana asked as she approached the bench.

"What is it with people sneaking up on me?" Quinn shrilled, she had come to the pond for the peace and tranquillity, but apparently she wasn't going to get that today, "How'd you know where to find me?"

"Stopped by the house, your mom said you'd be here," the Latina threw herself on the bench unceremoniously, before finally studying her friend, "If I didn't know any better I'd say you'd just been laid but seeing I was with Berry earlier it seems unlikely, that an the stick in your ass when it comes to sex. So unless you're already cheating on Berry-"

"Whoa!" Quinn interrupted, "What the fuck S? The hell I do to piss you off?"

"Nothing," she ran a hand through her jet hair, tugging the pony tail tighter, "sorry Q."

"What's wrong?"

"That bitch that coaches Vocal Adrenaline."

"Wait…Shelby?"

"I don't give a shit what her name is Q."

"Ok Lopez," Quinn forced herself to remain calm, demanding answers when the Latina was already so highly strung would only lead to a fight, "from the top."

"I spent time with Berry," Santana took a breath, trying to calm herself, "I should have left her to the fucking roof."

"Rachel was on the roof?"

"No, she was gonna go sit out there, but I picked her up and took her to the mall."

"Ok…" Quinn waited for the Latina to continue.

"She was freaking out bout going cos she didn't have anything to hide in, I told her to basically suck it up and get her ass moving and she did. Went in, Berry was talking, she seemed like she was doing ok. Then the fucking bitch walks up to us and says hello, gives the bullshit excuse of not getting the chance to congratulate us on Regional's and then tells Berry she wants to talk to her in private."

"Did they talk?"

"No, Berry told her she'd think about it."

"Is Rachel ok?"

"I have no idea. I think so," Santana sounded worried, "she asked me to take her home, she looked wiped. Surprised she stayed awake long enough to get in the front door."

"Shit," Quinn whispered loudly.

"Yeah my thoughts exactly. Berry don't need this shit Q, she's been doing good. Well seemed that way to me earlier; she ain't letting him stop her. She don't need someone else complicating shit for her."

"I know," Quinn glanced at her watch, "at least her dads will be home soon, hopefully she'll talk to them."

"She's talking to them more?"

"Rachel didn't tell you about the weekend did she?"

"No, we weren't out all that long before Shelby," the Latina spoke the name as though it were a toxin, "turned up, we spoke a little about you and who I've seen over the summer, that was it."

"Should I be worried that you were talking about me?" Quinn asked half-jokingly.

"Nice try Fabray," Santana almost smirked, "you don't get to leave me hanging. What happened at the weekend?"

"I told Puck," she didn't get to finish.

"Sneaky bastard kept that one quiet, I fucking saw him Monday," Santana shook her head.

"He knows you know, maybe he just doesn't wanna talk about us behind our backs," the young mother smiled at the ways in which the father of her child had changed. "Rachel told her dads."

"Fuck me. How'd that go?"

"It was…emotional."

"But they're cool with it?" the Cheerio questioned.

"Yeah, I think Hiram already knew to be honest," the more she thought about it ever since Rachel had revealed their relationship the more glaringly obvious it became to Quinn that Hiram had known something had changed between the two of them, "I don't think Leroy saw it coming though. There was crying and hugs, Rachel told them a lot of stuff that I think she's been wanting to tell them for a while, then more crying."

"I don't get your emotional lot."

"That's cos you're a bitch."

"I love that about me."

"You do have your moments," Quinn laughed.

"Did they have anything to say about it once Berry told them?"

"Not really, they were really relaxed about it. Just asked that we take things slow, not rush into it. They're right, between school and babies and all the other shit going on…it's not going to be easy," Quinn admitted.

"Neither was keeping Beth," Santana pointed out to her oldest friend, "you seem to be pretty ok with her."

"I don't know S," Quinn finally gave into her fears, "I can't help but think she's holding back a little from me, like she's scared that I'm gonna run off on her."

"You're an idiot," Santana rolled her eyes, "of course she's gonna be holding back Q, after the year she's had, you're probably the first good thing to happen her. She's probably scared shitless."

"How the hell do you know all this stuff about Rachel?"

"I don't."

"Then" Quinn's words were cut short.

"I know you Q," Santana shrugged, "you'll never admit, you never do but you're scared too. Something good finally happens to you after all the shit that kicked off with Beth and it terrifies you."

"I hate you sometimes do you know that?" Quinn said emptily.

"I bet you haven't even opened up to Berry have you? Does she know anything of the stuff about your parents divorce? Or what it felt like to bounce from one place to another cos you were rejected or couldn't fit in there?"

"No," the blonde admitted ashamedly.

"Don't you think you should?" Santana asked, her voice the soft tone she kept reserved for her closest friends.

"She doesn't need to be worrying about me."

"Actually Q she kinda does," the Latina said bluntly. "You like Berry, you want to be with her right?"

"I didn't know that was up for question."

"Stop being a pain in the ass an just answer the damn question Fabray."

"Yes I want to be with her."

"Then stop being such an ass! This ain't gonna work if you keep yourself closed off from her. Yeah Berry's got a lot of shit on, there's no denying that, but you've got your shit too." She turned so that she was facing Quinn head on, her eyes locking with the blonde's, "Berry's got lots of people there for her, let her be there for you. You can't just take care of her Q; you gotta let her look after you as well. That's how this shit works."

Quinn burst into uncontrollable laughter.

"What the fuck's so funny Fabray?" Santana demanded.

"Sorry S," Quinn tried to calm her hysterics taking deep breaths, "it's just I never thought I'd see the day you'd approve never mind be helping me out with a relationship with Rachel."

"Fuck off," Santana shouldered the blonde playfully, "she makes you happy anyone with fucking eyes can see that – that don't mean it don't gross me out, cos c'mon Q, Berry, really?"

"Watch it Lopez."

"You can stop laughing Q," Santana sobered, "I ain't finished with you yet."

"Oh God," Quinn groaned.

"Yeah that was kinda my next point," Santana said ruefully, "I'm still waiting for the wave of guilt."

"I don't think there's going to be one," Quinn answered sincerely, "don't get me wrong, I still have faith in God. I mean I look at Beth and how could I not? I'm a liar and a cheater."

"Quinn don't."

"I'm not, what I'm saying is everything I ever learned of God dad taught me and he ran out on mom with another woman. Maybe the bible's not as black and white as he told me he was? I lied and I cheated and I've got a beautiful daughter who I wouldn't give up for anything."

"Yeah your dad really did have a bit of a fucked up view on things," Santana snorted.

"Even mom seems less…rigid with it," Quinn commented, "you saw how well she got on with Hiram and Leroy."

"If that's the case Q, why you holding out on telling her about you and Berry?" Santana pointed out.

"I have to think about Beth."

"When you gonna stop using bullshit excuses to hide behind?"

"I'm not," the blonde reasoned, "it just seems too big a risk. It wouldn't be fair on Beth or anyone else to expect them to help out because I managed to get myself thrown out again."

"See bullshit. Q, you said so yourself it was that dick you call dad that threw you out not your mom."

"She didn't exactly stop him though did she?"

"She was probably too tanked up to realise what the fuck was going on but I've seen your mom. She ain't like that anymore Q; you forget I know how close you guys used to be. I don't know maybe Berry's onto something with this not keeping secrets from her dads thing."

"You think I should tell her."

"I think you'll feel better if you do," Santana admitted, "I'm not gonna force you into this, end of the day it's your grave. Just think about it ok? Trying to keep Beth a secret from everyone nearly had you in pieces, I don't want to see you go through that again Q."

"I'll think about it ok?"

"Guess it'll do for now."

"Are we done with the heavy now?"

"You've been spending too much time with Mercedes," Santana shook her head as though in disgrace, "yeah we're done with the heavy shit."

"Thank God! Any more and I think my head may have exploded," Quinn laughed lightly, "what you doing tomorrow?"

"Forget it Q, not a chance," Santana smiled mischievously knowing full well that she was about to provoke a violent flush of rose in the pale cheeks opposite her, "as of three a.m. B's cousin fucks back off to I-don't-care-where."

"Ok I get it."

"No Q you don't get it, all summer. All summer without sex Q!"

"Oh S, please," Quinn's cheeks flushed, "no more I'm begging you."

"Not as much as B's gonna beg," the Latina couldn't resist.

"Seriously, why? Why am I even friends with you? I do NOT need to know that shit!"

* * *

**Attention:** OK so this really is the LAST chapter you'll get outta me over the next few days LOL Like I said gotta help a friend pack and blah, blah, blah.

Ok so obviously you can see where this is steering things towards for Quinn when it comes to her mom and Rachel (at least I hope you can) LOL so the question is what's gonna be the trigger for Quinn spilling the beans to mommy dearest?

Also Rachel WILL be calling Shelby - but will she be calling to arrange a meeting or to polite tell her to get fucked? LOL

Erm...would you like to see Rachel talk to someone about Shelby - if so I'm thinking maybe Artie?

Pretty soon the Glee kids are gonna know about Rachel and Quinn, I'm just trying to work out in my mind how to go about doing it so any suggestions PLEASE send them my way.

Please review! Pretty please? I might even sneak him some FaBerry kisses and I'm on about the ones poor old Rachel has been putting off...haha, go on you know you wanna review.

Have a great weekend guys and girls!


	58. Chapter 58

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Rachel meets Artie to discuss her encounter with her mother and ends up sharing a surprising moment with her best friend.

**Warning: **

******Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

**

* * *

**

Rachel sat there waiting; she had arrived early, fifteen minutes early. Her mind was racing, she had so much too talk about she found herself wondering if her mouth would be able to keep up with her brain. She forced herself to focus on the tea in front of her, except she'd been there for ten minutes and had drunk most of it without even realising it. She contemplated getting up and getting another drink when her cell began to vibrate across the table. _I hope Artie hasn't had to cancel._ Her eyes followed the words on the screen, a smile playing lightly over her lips.

**Can't wait to see you later Q xXx**

Rachel found herself replying, thoughts of the noise surrounding her disappearing as she focused her thoughts on the blonde.

**Anyone ever tell you you're a bit of a soft touch Quinn Fabray?**

It took less than thirty seconds before a reply appeared across her screen.

**Shh don't tell anybody! Q xXx**

Rachel found she couldn't suppress the smile that was no plastered across her face.

**Our secret. I can't wait to see you either. X**

"I hope that Cheshire cat grin is because I'm here Houdini," Artie greeted.

"Hi," Rachel beamed, pushing her chair back so that she could hug her friend, "how are you?"

"I'm good," Artie smiled, "thirsty, I'm gonna grab a drink you want anything?"

"A bottle of water would be great."

"One water coming right up," he said as he pushed himself away from the table expertly rotating.

A few minutes later and Artie returned with two bottles of water.

"No coffee?" Rachel reached her hand to Artie's forehead, "Are you feeling ok?"

"Funny!" He playfully slapped her hand away, "I had coffee with Tina earlier, anymore and my legs may work from caffeine overload."

"How is Tina?"

"She's good, although I swear she's going to work herself into the ground. I can't wait to go back to school, at least then I'll get to see more of her."

"I thought she only had weekend shifts?"

"Yeah at the start of the summer, now she's there every day pretty much."

"Wow, when does she finish?"

"In a week or so," he unscrewed the bottle top and took a long swig, "but she loves it."

"Does she or does she love the staff discount?" Rachel laughed.

"Oh definitely the discount."

"So Artie," Rachel glanced at her phone and noticed the waiting text message, "what have I missed out on?"

"Nothing much," Artie shrugged, "I think I've fallen in love."

"I already know that you're in love with Tina."

"Not with Tina," he said, a twinkle in his eye.

"What?" Rachel nearly sprayed the water she had just sipped, "Please tell me you're not cheating on Tina?"  
Artie started laughing, "Houdini chill."

"Chill? How can I chill when you tell me you're in love with someone that's not Tina?"

"Because that someone is a bass guitar," he grinned, "you're so much fun to play with."

"I hate you," Rachel sulked.

"No you don't, you love me."

"No I don't."  
"Yeah you do," Artie nudged her playfully, "go on…admit that you love me."

Rachel rolled her eyes, "You're lucky I do Artie Abrams."

"See I knew you loved me," he grinned at her, "so Houdini, what's the what? You still all loved up?"

"Artie…"

"Ok so we're not up to the "L" word just yet then."

"We're taking things slow."

"You're up to the "L" word," Artie said knowingly.

"I'm not having this discussion," Rachel said forcefully.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm happy with the way things are with Quinn and I," she took a sip of her water, "and I have other things to deal with right now."

"Other things like Mini Houdini?"

"Other things like…Shelby."

"Shelby? Wait…as in your mom?"

"She's not my mom," he heard the sadness, "she's my mother."

"Ok my bad, so what about her?"

"I saw her the other day, at the mall with Santana."

"You were with Santana?" Artie joked, trying to lighten things up a little.

"She wants to talk…"

"What are you gonna do?"

"I don't know, I told her I'd think about it."

"Ok…what do you want to do about it?"

"I really don't know. I'll admit I'm intrigued as to what she could possibly have to say to me but…"

"But?"

"She was the one that walked away, she was the one that said we couldn't be a part of each others lives. So what now? She's changed the rules because I turned up to Regional's pregnant? I don't want her to want to talk to me out of pity and she knows this."

"Are you sure she knows that?"

"I was pretty clear about it when I spoke to her at Regional's. I was rather blunt and concise to be honest."

"Then maybe she genuinely wants to talk to you?"

"That's what I keep thinking."

"So talk to her."

"I don't know Artie."

"What's stopping you?"

"I am. I wanted her to be my mom so badly and then she just turned her back on me. I know what I said to her at Regional's and I meant it, but a part of me still wants her to be my mom."

"There's nothing wrong with that Rach," he rested a leather-gloved hand on her forearm, "you gotta do what's right for you."

"I don't know what's right for me. I've so many conflicting thoughts surrounding her that I don't know what to make of it all. On the one hand I've done fine without her for seventeen years, on the other hand even Quinn's mom was there when it mattered."

"You can't compare this to Quinn, you know that right?"

"I know, it's just, my dads are great. I love them so much, I can't imagine what my life would be like without them both but they can only understand all of this," she rested her free hand on her stomach, "to a certain extent."

"Quinn understands, I know it's different, but I mean she gets it in the sense of having been there and done that with Beth."

"I know," she sighed, "I just…I don't want to have to turn to Quinn for everything, it's not fair and I don't think it'd be a good thing for a relationship. I don't want to confuse things with Quinn by seeking the comfort that I didn't get from my mother from her if that makes sense?"

"It makes sense," he nodded.

"I'm glad it makes sense to you," she laughed half-heartedly.

"Have you spoken to anyone else about this?"

"I told my dads, they said it's my decision and that if I wanted she could come to the house."

"That's good, at least you'd be somewhere you felt comfortable," he spun his bottle absent mindedly on the table, "does Quinn know about any of this?"

"I imagine she knows that Shelby wants to speak to me, Santana said she was going to see Quinn after we were done at the mall. I haven't really spoken to Quinn much this week; she's spending some time with her mom while Puck has Beth. I didn't want to intrude on that or make her worry."

"Are you going to talk to her about this?"

"I'm not hiding it from her if that's what you're implying Artie, I just simply didn't want her to worry unnecessarily and not take advantage of the time she had with her mom. She's coming over later," a smile graced her lips, "I'll talk to her about it tonight I'd imagine."

"You miss her," Artie said simply, it wasn't a question. Rachel blushed in response. "Look at you all loved up."

"If you're just going to tease me I'll go," Rachel's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"I'm not teasing, well ok I am, but it's good Houdini. It's nice to see a real smile on your face."

"Thanks."

"Never thought Quinn Fabray would be the reason you're grinning like an idiot though."

"Neither did I," Rachel admitted, shyly adding, "when I'm with her…I'm different."

"How'd you mean?"

"It's hard to explain. She makes me…happy."

Artie smiled, "Good, you deserve to be happy."

"Sometimes I believe that."

"You do," Artie said sincerely, "I know that with everything that's happened…you've been through Hell, but look at you now. I can't think of a single person more deserving of happiness."

Rachel was about to answer but found herself quickly distracted by the flurry of movement coming from her daughter, "I think she likes listening to you," she laughed at the confusion that spread across her best friends features.

"Huh?"

Rachel nodded at her stomach, Artie eyes finally setting on the swollen site.

"Oh!" he laughed, "Nice way of changing the subject."

"I wasn't," Rachel found his laughter infectious as she chuckled, "I was trying to think of something to say she decided it was time to wake up, I think maybe she likes listening to you talk."

Artie positioned himself closer, his eyes' searching Rachel's questionly. Rachel nodded nervously and watched as Artie leant forward, his face a few inches away from her stomach, "You alright in there Mini Houdini?"

"You're crazy," Rachel laughed, relaxing slightly.

"How am I crazy?"

"How are you not?" Rachel shot back.

He shook his head, "Ignore your mom, she has no idea what she's on about. I'm awesome, she's the crazy one." He didn't have to look up to know that Rachel was rolling her eyes at him. "She's rude too, not telling you that it's your Uncle Artie talking to you."

"Uncle?"

"Yeah," Artie beamed up at her.

"Here," Rachel reached forward and took one of his gloved hands, placing it on her stomach, "tell her again who you are."

"Rach…" Artie pulled his hand back, he was hesitant, he didn't want Rachel to feel like she had to do this.

"It's ok," she reassured him, "I trust you."

Carefully he placed his hand back on the brunette's swollen stomach, "Hey dinky 'dini," he felt the delicate flutter beneath Rachel's shirt, "it's your Uncle Artie," he almost jumped when he felt the definite thump against the heel of his palm, "wow, that's…"

"Weird?" Rachel laughed.

"No it's not weird," Artie sat himself straight, pulling his hand away as he did, "I don't know, I guess it's sort of humbling."

Rachel twisted the cap on her bottle of water and drank deep, unsure as to how she should respond. She couldn't explain to Artie how she felt about the movements of her daughter, not because she didn't want to, she just didn't have the words for it. For the first time in her life she was truly at a loss for words, the thought almost made her laugh.

"Thank you," Artie's voice broke through.

"What for?" she asked twisting the cap back onto it's rightful place.

"For letting your daughter abuse my hand," he laughed, before becoming more sincere with his words, "for letting me feel her, trusting me enough to let me."

"Thank you for listening to me," Rachel snorted, "I bet your getting sick of me and all my problems."

"You do have a few," Artie laughed.

"You always seem to help me make sense of them though," she said seriously, "I don't know how I would've managed these last few months without you."

Artie reached across and squeezed her hand, "You put up with my crazy."

"So you admit your crazy then?"

"I'm friends with you aren't I?"

Rachel couldn't help but laugh, it was so easy to fall into their silly banter, "I'm beginning to question my decision to associate myself with you though."

"Funny Houdini."

* * *

**Attention:** Hello all! Sorry it's taken me so long to update, you would not believe how hectic my life has been lately LOL it's NUTS!

I hope this update is enough to tide you over, I promise the next one will be longer! LOL  
Erm...ok questions...let's see...

Ok will Rachel take her dads up on the offer to have Shelby over at the house or will she choose to meet her somewhere more neutral?

What do you think Shelby has to say to Rachel?

Are you ready for a bit of Quinn's past or my lame attempt at it at least? LOL

It has recently come to my attention that I fucked up with the timeline and that Nationals should've happened not long after Regionals - any suggestions on how I can rectify this problem? As you've probably realised I'm so unbelievably British and I have no clue about these sorts of things cos we don't really have them over here. So yeah - any help anyone can offer would be greatly appreciated.

Erm...bugger I had another question...nope, it's gone, can't have been that important.

As always I ask that you please review LOL they keep me wanting to write.

And as ever I am eternally greatful to **chunkmunk09** and **Davis B.P** (I'm still jealous by the way!) for putting up with my shit and helping me get my writing done - love you guys!

Hope everyone is happy and healthy and I promise to try not to keep you waiting so long this time.


	59. Chapter 59

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Rachel and Quinn discuss Shelby. Quinn reveals that she had a bit of a vulnerable side and insecurities that have haunted her since childhood. Quinn and Rachel finally put a label to their relationship.

**Warning: **sickly sweet highly recommend you read with bucket close by. Oh and a couple uses of bad language.

******Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

Quinn found herself grateful to Hiram and Leroy as she turned her key in the lock and pushed open the door to the Berry household. Wheeling Beth's buggy in first, she shut the door and relished the warmth that came from being inside.

"Quinn," Leroy jumped as he made his way out of the lounge, "I didn't hear you come in."

"I figured it was my turn to sneak up on you," she smiled at him.

"Oh my God look at you, you're soaked!" Leroy stared at the young mother bug eyed, "Why aren't you wearing a coat?"

"I didn't think I'd need one," she shivered, "it didn't look like it was going to rain, then well the skies opened."

"I can see that," Leroy chuckled, "go on, upstairs with you, I'll watch Beth."

"Are you sure?"

"If you don't get out of the wet clothes and into something dry Rachel will kill me."

Quinn smiled at the mention of the brunette, "Where is Rachel?"

"Upstairs. She went for a nap, she was pretty wiped when she got back from town." He smiled fondly, "She'll want to know you're here."

"Ok," Quinn nodded understanding that the taller of the two Berry men wanted her to wake Rachel. She began unfastening the plastic covering on Beth's pushchair.

"Go," Leroy laughed, "I've got Beth, go get changed girl! You're dripping all over my floor."

Quinn looked down at the small puddles left in her wake and felt the blush seep into her cheeks, "Sorry," she grabbed her bag of clothes and headed upstairs, taking one last look at the laughing man who was no talking to her daughter.

"Your mommy's silly isn't she? Yes she is," Leroy began to unfasten Beth from her restraints, "At least you're nice and dry."

She smiled; content to be back in the Berry home. Things back at home with her mom had improved greatly, but for whatever reason, perhaps past events or the still lingering presence of her father, her home lacked the feeling or warmth, security and love that she always found here.

Standing in Rachel's bedroom doorway Quinn wasn't sure whether to laugh or awww at the girl she had come to see. Rachel lay on her back somehow tilted to the side, her hair splayed half across her pillow, half across her face, one arm tucked under her head the other languishing across her bump, she had somehow managed to tangle the covers in such a manner around her legs that if she were to try and stand up she would send herself flying. The blonde broke her gaze of adoration and carefully made her way to the en suite bathroom and silently got changed.

Towel in hand she made her way across the room, thankful for the feeling of dry clothes against her still slightly damp skin. She gently perched herself on the edge of the bed closest to Rachel's head and reached forward brushing the fallen tendrils out of the sleeping girls face. The smile fell from her face once she was able to take in the sleeping features. She knew the pregnant girl was dreaming, except it wasn't a dream, the images that were playing through her mind had happened. Quinn ran her thumb along the furrowed brow as though her touch would be able to iron out the creases.

"Rach."

The back of her hand glided along the lines of Rachel's face, one day she would trace this face with the pads of her fingers and commit every millimeter of skin to memory, every freckle, every scar, all of it.

"Rach wake up," she pleaded, she didn't want to shake the girl, startling her from her dreams would not bode well.

"Come on sweetie, wake up for me," her fingers grazed against cheek, her knuckles accidentally catching the place where ear and jaw join, the place that the brunette apparently found ticklish.

Eyelids flew open, revealing startled and lost pools of chocolate, nostrils flared in panic as lips parted in a pained gasp.

"Hey you're ok," Quinn continued delicately stroking the tanned cheek beneath her fingers, "you were dreaming."

"Oh God," she removed her arm from around stomach and placed her hand to her forehead, eyes closing as she tried to center herself in reality.

"You ok?"

"It was just a dream," she muttered, willing the images away from her mind she forced her eyes open and focused on the blonde, "you're so far away."

Quinn rotated and lowered herself so that she was lying face to face with Rachel, "Better?"

Rachel leaned forward and captured the blonde's lips, drinking in the scent that was so uniquely Quinn's. "Much."

"Miss me?"

"Not in the slightest."

"Yeah me neither," the blonde leant pressed her lips against the singers again, taking her time, trying to convey just how much she really had missed the girl she had spent away the last six days.

"Liar," Rachel smiled as she broke away from the kiss, her forehead resting against the blonde's finally taking note of the damp, tangled mess of gold as it chilled her hot skin, "why do you feel cold and damp?"

"It's raining, I got caught in it on my way over."

"You had a jacket on though right?"

"Not exactly."

"Quinn Fabray are you trying to catch a death of cold?"

The blonde laughed lightly, "You worry too much."

"And evidently you don't worry enough," Rachel managed to say before succumbing to a yawn.

"You worry enough for all of us," she pressed a kiss to the brunette's nose.

Rachel rolled her eyes, "Someone has to," she stretched her legs only to become aware of their restricted movement. She sat up and disentangled her limbs for the sheets, her eyes taking note of the empty cot, "Where's Beth?"

"With your Daddy," she pushed herself up and maneuvered herself behind the other girl, her legs falling either side and pulled Rachel back into her, "he sent me up to get out of my wet clothes."

"Good," she leant back into the embrace of the other girl, lacing her fingers with the ones that snaked around her sides until they rested neatly atop of her swollen midsection. "I have a confession to make," she said attempting to sound guilty as possible.

"What's that?"

"I lied," she leant her head on the taller girls shoulder, "I did miss you."

"Good," the blonde pressed a kiss to the crook of Rachel's neck that wasn't currently covered with hair, "cos I missed you too."

Rachel smiled, "How's your mom?"

"Mom-like," she laughed, "no she's good, still trying to convince me a new car is the way to go, but she's ok…it was nice spending time with her."

"You don't sound convinced."

"I am, really, it was nice to spend time with her. It's just a little weird. We're getting to know each other and I don't know, I guess I'm just surprised by how much we really don't know about each other."

"You're getting to know each other though, that's the important thing."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Santana told me about Shelby."

"Oh…that what about me."

"Yeah, that," Quinn held the smaller girl tighter, loving the way the seemingly molded together.

"She wants to talk to me."

"What do _you_ want to do?"

"You're going to think I'm insane and I know it's completely illogical because I can't even justify why I want to but I want to hear what she has to say."

"Ok."

"Ok?"

"Yeah ok."

"I really didn't see that as one of the possible responses that I'd anticipated when I told you."

"Rach what else am I gonna say? It's your decision, if you wanna know what she has to say to you then you have every right to find out."

"Thank you."

"I'm not particularly happy with her for doing this to you though," Quinn added, "I don't want her to hurt you."

"So come with me."

"What?"

"Come with me. My dads said I could invite Shelby to the house, but I don't think I'm ready for her to be in my home. Artie came up with the idea of meeting her at the café we go to so he could be there for morale, and" her words were cut off.

"Rach if you want me to go with you all you have to do is ask."

"Oh…" she felt like a small child as she nervously asked, "will you go with me?"

"Of course I will," she kissed the top of Rachel's head, before resting her head against the brunette's shoulder. Enjoying the quiet shared between them. Quinn found it odd that she could just sit in a silence that wasn't tense or awkward, it was definitely a new experience.

"As much as I hate to say this because I really could stay here for the rest of the day but we should probably go downstairs before Beth starts terrorizing your dads."

"Do we really have to?" Rachel asked pressing herself tightly against the blonde so that there were no gaps between them.

"That's cheating."

A smile played across Rachel's face, a mischievous glint shining in her eye as she pulled away from the blonde's grasp, "No it isn't."

"Well not anymore it's not," Quinn laughed, watching as the brunette turned herself round so that she was facing her.

"It wasn't cheating to begin with," she countered defiantly, slowly edging her way closer to the blonde.

"Yes it was, you were trying to distract me from the fact the we have to go downstairs," she suddenly noticed how close her girl was, "what are you planning in that devious little mind of yours Rachel Berry?"

"Nothing," she feigned innocence, as she edged herself nearer, a predator stalking its prey. Ok, so it was the second time she lied to the blonde, she knew exactly what she was doing, it was Quinn's fault, if she hadn't accused her of trying to distract from going downstairs in the first place she wouldn't of had the urge to show the blonde a real distraction in the first place. She knew the logic was crazy and quite possibly fuelled by the extra dose of hormones courtesy of her pregnant state but damn it she was Rachel Berry and she did not back down from a challenge.

"Rach come on," Quinn laughed as she found the brunette practically in her lap, her face hovering centimeters from her own. Quinn swallowed the lump in her throat, it would be so easy just to sit forward and taste those lips that seemed to be taunting her but she really couldn't shirk off the responsibility of her daughter onto Rachel's dads, it wasn't fair. "We need to go downstairs," the argument sounded feeble even to her own ears.

"We will," Rachel leant forward and placed a kiss on the side of Quinn's mouth, purposefully avoiding the inviting lips, "but first," she repeated the moment on the other side, "I have to clear my name," she finally pressed her lips against the blonde's albeit very briefly, "seeing as you seem to want to tarnish it by implying that I was resorting to underhand methods before to keeping you distracted," their lips met again except this time they didn't pull away.

Quinn gently wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist, relishing the feel of the girls' lips on her own. She desperately wanted to deepen the kiss, but she knew she had to let Rachel set the pace, she would not push her into something she wasn't ready for no matter how much she craved for it.

Rachel tried to ignore that logical part of her brain telling her to stop; this is a bad idea, especially after the nightmare Quinn woke you up from. She desperately wanted to ignore it. She really did not want to let one event define and dictate her life. There were so many reasons why she shouldn't stop, why she should allow herself to deepen the kiss. She trusts Quinn; she needed the blonde to know that she trusted her and to prove that she wasn't going to break. Perhaps if she could do that Quinn would realise that she could trust her in return and that Rachel could help her with her own problems. _The best way to tackle any situation is to be assertive _she reminded herself as she wrapped her arms around Quinn's neck and drew her closer.

Quinn smiled into the kiss, tightening her grip around the smaller girls waist. She toyed with the idea of pulling the pint-sized diva closer still, there was far too much space between them still but all thoughts of doing so erased when she felt a shift in the pressure of Rachel's lip. Cold air mingling against her slightly swollen lips with the burning tip of Rachel's tongue scorching a trail against her lower lip begging it's permission.

"Girls," Hiram called as he started up the stairs.

_For the love of all things Holy please let this be my imagination. _Quinn begged.

Rachel reluctantly pulled away from the blonde in front of her, letting out a disgruntled grumble as she did so. _Impeccable timing Dad, this had better be of the utmost importance or I swear I'll…_ her thoughts came to a halt at the knock of the door, "Come in."

"Hey," Hiram stuck his head in the door and noticed the face of thunder that belonged to his daughter, "did I come at a bad time?"

"No," Quinn cleared her throat, "we were just talking."

"Ok," Hiram forced his gaze away from his daughter certain at some point she would berate him for whatever he had done, "well I think Beth is hungry and I was just about to get dinner sorted so if you girls wanted to come downstairs?"

Rachel finally shook off her hormonal anger, "Sure Dad, I'll be done in a minute."

"Ok," Hiram smiled, relaxing at the change in his daughters' demeanor, "see you girls in a minute then."

As soon as the door was closed Rachel clambered off of the bed and began hunting for her jeans.

"Rach what are you doing?" Quinn silently cursed Hiram's poor timing, she knew the moment was lost and there was no chance of being able to recapture it.

"I'm looking for my jeans," she muttered, her head stuffed inside her wardrobe.

Quinn rolled her eyes, got off the bed and grabbed the jeans that were folded over the back of the desk chair. "Here."

Rachel turned around, "Thanks," she couldn't prevent the blush across her cheeks. She wasn't sure what to do, what do you say in these situations? She had never been interrupted. "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

Rachel struggled to find the right words, how does you apologise for your dad interrupting something that would progress your relationship without sounding like a complete idiot? She couldn't fathom out how to best phrase the thoughts in her head so settled for two words that she hoped would convey everything, "My Dad…"

"It's ok," she walked over to the smaller girl and draped the jeans across her shoulder, "there'll be other times. I'm not going anywhere."

"You sure about that?" Rachel said half-jokingly, half voicing her internal fears.

"Look at me," her hand went to the smaller girls cheek, gently guiding the face upwards, "I'm not going anywhere. I'm with you ok? I'm in this scary as hell what on earth am I doing thing we've got," Rachel's lips twitched at Quinn's description, impressed that the blonde had found the words to describe what they had when she herself had failed miserably, "and I'm not going anywhere." She gently kissed the forehead below her, "I want to find out where this goes, you are far too interesting to walk away from."

"I'm interesting?"

"Well I was going to say you're an enigma but I know you like to use the more complex words," Quinn laughed, before stealing a kiss from the girl before her, "I'd better go sort Beth's dinner."

"Ok," Rachel stood on tiptoe and kissed the blonde once more, "I'll be down in a minute."

* * *

With everyone fed they soon found themselves in the lounge, Quinn and Rachel snuggled up on the couch together still adjusting to not having to hide their relationship from Hiram and Leroy anymore, Leroy sat on the other end of the couch with his daughters feet on his lap flicking through the channels in attempt to find something for them all to watch, Hiram sat in the armchair with Beth against his chest after he insisted on having cuddles with the fast growing child.

"Nothing," Leroy sighed having failed miserably to find anything that was actually worth watching, "shall we put a DVD on?"

"Ooo Die Hard," Hiram chirped enthusiastically.

"What do you reckon girls?"

"I think I need to take someone to bed," Quinn hushed as her daughters' head lolled to the side.

"Awww she's so tired," Rachel cooed.

"I'm not surprised with all that running around earlier," Hiram whispered, hyperaware that he was the most likely of all four of them to disturb the slumbering child on his chest.

"Yeah maybe it wasn't such a good idea to teach her how to walk," Quinn joked.

"You wait until she starts talking, that's when the real trouble begins," Leroy said knowingly.

"I'm going to ignore that remark Daddy," Rachel said pointedly as she stood and stretched.

Quinn stood and moved over to Hiram, carefully lifting Beth and placing her so that her head was resting on her shoulder, "I'm gonna take her up," she quickly glanced and Hiram and Leroy, "Night."

"Night Quinn," emitted from both Hiram and Leroy as they watched the young mother vanish from the room.

"I'm going to go up," Rachel said.

"Are you sure you guys don't want to watch a film with us huni we can put something else on, we don't have to watch Die Hard," Hiram offered as his daughter hugged and kissed him goodnight.

"No thank you Dad, you should watch Die Hard though," she leant down to hug and kiss Leroy, "it's one of your favourites after all."  
"If you're sure?" Hiram ventured knowing full well that Rachel had made her mind up.

"I am," Rachel said as she approached the lounge doorway, "night Dad, night Daddy."

"Sweet dreams Rae," Leroy smiled.

"Have fun with Bruce and Alan," she threw over her shoulder as she left her fathers to their film.

When she got to her bedroom she found that Quinn had just about finished putting Beth to bed, "Hey."

"Hey," Quinn didn't look up as she carefully tucked the covers around Beth.

Rachel moved across the room and came to stand beside Quinn, "She looks more like you every day."

"Yeah and she acts like her father that little bit more everyday," Quinn said fondly.

"At least you know she won't be tossing anybody into a dumpster anytime soon," Rachel laughed, the image of a slightly older, maybe six or seven, Beth with her mothers angelic face and blonde ringlets standing with her arms crossed as she ordered the older kids to throw the girl that was bullying her into the dumpster seeming all too plausible in Rachel's mind.

"She'd better not, I'm blaming you if she does!" Quinn brushed her fingers lightly across the slowly thickening wisps of gold across her daughters' head, before turning to face the girl stood beside her, "So Rach, what's the plan?"

"I don't know," Rachel stood thoughtful for a moment, her body tensing with nerves at the suggestion that entered her mind, "maybe we could look at names? Maybe then she could be more than star and Mini Houdini."

"Sure," Quinn smiled, the use of star not being lost on her since their talk last weekend when Rachel had shown her the blanket, "where's the book?"

Rachel went over to her desk and retrieved the book from the top drawer before offering it to Quinn.

"I think this should keep us busy for a while," the blonde said sarcastically as she eyes took in the boldly printed 7,000 baby names on the front cover.

Rachel sat on the edge of her bed and pushed herself further onto it, bringing her legs beneath her in an attempt to sit Indian style but giving up after realizing that her bump would not allow for her to sit like that comfortably and settled for her legs resting under her to one side.

Quinn followed suit except when she slid herself back on the bed she stopped so that her calves and feet hung over the edge and leant back until she was propped up on one elbow, her body twisted from the hips upward so that she was facing the pregnant brunette and placed the book between them, "So where do you want to start?"

"I honestly have no idea," Rachel laughed, "maybe we should get Puck to sing again?"

"He did sing Sweet Caroline to you," Quinn laughed back.

"He sang Beth to you," Rachel countered, "do you know what her name means?" she asked suddenly realizing that she herself had no idea.

"Actually in all honest I never looked it up," Quinn suddenly felt embarrassed that she had never taken the time to look up the meaning of her own daughters name.

"Well that's perfectly understandable, you've been extremely busy being a mom," Rachel sensed that she had said the wrong thing and tried to repair the damage, however minimal it was, "besides, regardless of the meaning of the name Beth, your Beth's name has a meaning all of it's own that you won't find in any book before of the way it was chosen."

"I suppose," Quinn flipped open the book, her fingers gracefully flipping through the pages until she came to the B's, "I'd still like to know what it means though."

"Ok," Rachel pushed the book so that it was above the blondes' head.

"Hey!" she looked at Rachel slightly putout, "What'd you do that for?"

The diva rolled her eyes playfully, "So I could do this," she uncoiled her leg from beneath her and lay herself on her side, propped up on one elbow so that she was mirroring Quinn, "this way we can both read without me having to receive cramp in my neck from undue straining."

"Makes sense," Quinn smiled, subtly edging closer to the warmth of the girl opposite her, "are you comfortable? Can we read no?"

"Much more comfortable," using the hand that wasn't propping herself up she traced her index finger along the list of names briefly stopping as she came across her middle name before continuing and turning the page.

"Hey wait a minute go back, Quinn flipped the page, "what were you looking at?" her eyes scanned the two columns of names and noticed the name at the top of the second column, "Barbara…"

**Barbara (LATIN) 'Beautiful stranger'. The lovely but unknown visitor.**

"My middle name," Rachel supplied just to fill the silence, knowing that the girl beside her already knew her middle name, "Can I resume my searching for your daughters name now?"

"Beautiful stranger," Quinn smiled, _She is beautiful, but we're not strangers, _her smile grew wider, _not anymore, "_go for it."

Rachel turned the pages, her index finger working its way across ink until she found what she was looking for, "Here it is, oh…see Bethel or Elizabeth."

"Bethel?" Quinn raised her eyebrow, "Seriously…Bethel?"

"Ok," Rachel continued ignoring the blonde, "apparently Bethel is Hebrew for 'House of God'."

"Seriously?" Quinn's eyes snapped to the words resting above the brunette's nail, "That can't be right…what about Elizabeth?" Quinn took over the book, flipping the pages frantically until she found what she was searching for.

**Elizabeth (HEBREW) 'Consecrated to God'**

"Wow," Rachel read over Quinn's shoulder, "who knew a name could be so important?"

"Yeah," Quinn couldn't avoid the irony that her daughters name was dedicated to the God to which she had broken promises to, "I wonder if Puck's mom know this? I'll have to tell her, it'll make her happy."

"She's still not too pleased that Noah…" Rachel let her words trail off unsure of how to phrase the question without causing offence.

Quinn let out a bitter laugh, "She's not so bad now, but yeah she really wasn't happy that Puck knocked up the Christian chick and not some nice Jewish girl."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Quinn shrugged, "I'm over it, I have my faith, she has hers, there's no issue."

"What are you and Noah going to raise Beth as?" Rachel couldn't believe the question had never crossed her mind before.

"We're not," Quinn turned so that her eyes met with Rachel's, "she'll know what our beliefs are, and yeah she'll get to take part in both holidays, but at the end of the day it's up to her what she wants to believe in," her eyes softened, revealing a more vulnerable side of herself, "I didn't get a choice, it was decided for me. I don't want that for her."

Rachel nodded, "Beth doesn't know how lucky she is to have you," she reached forward tucking a fallen strand of golden blonde behind Quinn's ear, "you're a very surprising person Quinn."

"I hope that's a good thing."

Rachel smiled in answer before turning her attention back towards the open book.

"So what next? Caroline?"

"Nope," Rachel flipped through the pages, the letters vanishing in progression.

It wasn't until Quinn saw the large printed 'M' flip past that she realised what Rachel was looking for, "Rach…leave it."

Rachel had barely registered what Quinn had said; the blonde's voice had been so quiet.

Quinn placed her hand atop of the page as soon as she saw the emblazoned 'Q' mocking her, "You're not going to find it."

"What do you mean?" Rachel turned her attention to the blonde's face, noticing the hurt held within the hazel eyes, noting the way that the gold flecks seemed to contract with the emotion, "Quinn?"

"It's not there," Quinn felt ridiculous, it had been such a long time since she had given this any thought, "I can't believe I'm gonna tell you this," she muttered to herself before relinquishing her hand from the pages as the words of her best friend echoed through her mind – _"This ain't gonna work if you keep yourself closed off from her"._

"Is there something I should know?" Rachel could see that the blonde was upset but she wasn't sure as to why, "Did I say something wrong?"

"No," Quinn sighed and pushed herself up so that she was sitting, "it seems really, really stupid now."

"What does?"

"I haven't thought about it since before high school," she drew her legs up and pulled them towards her, her arms wrapped tightly around them as though she were protecting herself, "have you ever wondered why Santana, Brittany and me call each other by initial?"

"The first time I ever heard anyone call you Q," Rachel admitted, "was in the corridor at school, Miss Sylvester was talking to you and she called you Q, I just assumed that perhaps it was a Cheerios thing seeing as all three of you were on the squad."

"That's good to know," Quinn briefly hoped that the rest of the school thought the same, "but it's not."

"Ok?"

"Look in the book."

Rachel let her eyes follow the list of Q's that occupied one singular page, "Quinta, Quintana, Quintella, Quintessa," she mumbled as she search for perhaps the abbreviated version of those names in the form of Quinn but, "no Quinn."

"No Quinn," the blonde picked up the book and let the pages fall as the letters reached 'Z' and began a fresh with 'A' in the boys section stopping once the bold 'Q' served to mock her again, once more only occupying a singly page, "there," she handed the book to Rachel, "last one."

**Quinn (GAELIC) 'Wise and intelligent'**

"I don't see the problem," Rachel's brow knitted together, "I think it's nice."

"It's a boys name Rach," Quinn said in frustration, "when I was little I got tormented endlessly because my father was adamant that I was going to be a boy and wouldn't change his mind over the name when I was born because he's a stubborn ass."

"Lots of people have unisex names," Rachel tried to sooth.

"Except mine isn't one of them is it?" Quinn said bitterly, "The things the other kids would say were so mean, no one would call me Quinnie like my mom does, they had far too much fun mocking me because I had a boys name."

"I'm sorry that they did that to you," Rachel forced herself to sit up, fighting against the awkwardness of her swollen stomach.

"Santana always stuck up for me," Quinn explained, "but she couldn't make it so that the names didn't hurt, she came up with the idea to call me Q," the blonde smiled at the things her best friend had done for her in the past, "but no one would listen, so she started going by S, when we moved schools and started sixth grade Brittany started hanging out with us and she instantly took to B without question. It was a new school, new people, people that didn't know why we went by initial. I decided that I wasn't going to let anyone do that to me again, so that was it, we decided we were going to be top of the food chain so that no one would mess with us. By the time we started high school we'd established ourselves, I was head bitch, captain of the Cheerios, president of the celibacy club, I had a reputation and no one knew why I had done any of those things, why I kept S and B close and pushed everyone else away."

Rachel studied Quinn's face as she waited patiently, sensing that there was more that the girl opposite her needed to say.

"I didn't realise what I had become, I went from pretending to be a bitch to protect myself to enjoying being a bitch. I had a power to make others lives miserable and I used it. I turned into someone I didn't like. I did everything I could to be what my parents, well my dad, wanted and I hated every second of it. Nothing I did would ever be enough, the only thing I could do to please him was to keep up appearances. When I was younger we were a family, we were happy but then dad kept moving up in work and soon it became all about pleasing his boss', hosting dinners and being perfect. He started working all the time and he was always so tense, it just became about keeping up appearances. I had to be perfect, so Cheerios and celibacy club just fit so well with what he needed me to be. I had to be sweet, polite, all smiles at home; going to school and slipping into being a bitch was just too easy. It was one extreme from another, no middle ground."

"I never knew how unhappy you were," Rachel's voice was filled with sadness, "you always seemed so…untouchable, like nothing ever got to you."

"I needed to be that way," Quinn shrugged, "if I stopped to ever really focus on the way things had turned out, I don't know, I guess I get why mom drank all the time. It was just too much to live up to. Someone always wanted me to be perfect, the trophy daughter, captain of the Cheerios, devout Christian, doting girlfriend. I had to have everything perfect, perfect smile, perfect behaviour, perfect weight, just…everything."

"That's a lot to live up to," Rachel edged closer towards the blonde, "I mean, I set out with everything I've ever done to do it perfectly but that was my choice."

"That's what makes you stronger than me," Quinn found that even though she felt raw and exposed, being so vulnerable and honest with Rachel was actually surprisingly easy to do, "you never let anyone dictate your decisions, you got slushied every day and you still kept on doing what you love to do. You weren't afraid to be you."

"You were?"

"I don't even think I knew who I was, I was too busy trying to please everyone else to focus on what I wanted. The only thing I ever knew I wanted was to get out of this place," Quinn laughed, "guess I messed that one up, for now anyway. I made one mistake, I stopped being perfect for a moment and it caused everything to fall down around me."

"Puck?"

"Yeah, one idiotic moment of giving in to my insecurities and I lost everything I had built. I had to lose everything to realise I didn't like who I was. I didn't want to be that person anymore you know?"

Rachel shifted herself so that she was knelt in front of the blonde and pulled her into her arms.

"I honestly don't understand why you forgave me for all the Hell I put you through," Quinn mumbled into Rachel's collarbone.

"Because I look at the person you are now and none of that matters," Rachel rested her head so that her mouth was beside Quinn's ear as she continued her whisper, "whether you realise it or believe it doesn't matter, you are an amazing person Quinn. You did what you had to do to protect yourself; that was pretty brave. Ok so things took a turn in a way you hadn't anticipated, but you learned from it and turned it around. I don't think many people are able to admit to their mistakes let alone try to do something to change them but you did, you should be proud of yourself for that."

"How did I end up with you for a girlfriend?" the word was out of her mouth before she'd even finished the thought. _Shit! So much for slow you moron._

"Girlfriend?"

"Sorry, I just said it without even thinking." She sat back slightly, instantly missing the warmth of Rachel's flushed neck against her face. "I know we're taking things slowly and seeing how it goes and" her words were silenced as Rachel pressed her lips against the babbling blonde's.

"I like it," Rachel said as she broke the kiss of.

"You do?" Quinn asked nervously, she had thought that she'd seriously fucked up as soon as the word girlfriend had escaped.

"Yes," Rachel smiled coyly as she admitted, "I like the thought of being your girlfriend."

"I like that you like that thought," Quinn laughed, "wow that so didn't make any sense. Since when did you possess the power to turn me into incoherent babbler?"

"Since I became your girlfriend?" Rachel laughed.

"Yeah that sounds about right."

* * *

**Attention:** Hey so I finally got round to some of the stuff I'd been wanting to write LOL I hope you liked it. I'm sorry for the ending, I know it's a bit pants but it's currently 4am and I'm tired. I might go back and edit it but I highly doubt it - what you see is what you get with me I'm afraid. Then again you can't expect everything I write to be any good LOL

Right one question for you all before I go pass out...

What would you like to see happen first:

1) Rachel talking with Shelby.

2) Quinn telling her mom about her relationship with Rachel.

Dun dun dun! I think I'm gonna take a couple of days off from writing to try and let my eye recover. I hope you'll review cos I'm kinda nervous about this chapter.


	60. Chapter 60

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Quinn finally gets round to talking to her mom, but will her fears of being kicked out again be justified or will her mom help her to voice something she hasn't had the courage to say?

**Warning: **sickly sweet highly recommend you read with bucket close by. Oh and a couple uses of bad language.

******Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

Quinn found herself feeling incredibly relaxed, despite being back home, as she carried out the chore of laundry, dancing and singing along lightly to the radio as she did. She wondered if perhaps the past was really past or if her fathers repressing presence was beginning to dissipate from the house or whether it was nothing to do with where she was at all and more down to the happiness she had opened herself up to? She let her mind wander as she folded what seemed to be a never ending supply of baby clothes, thankful that Santana and Brittany had visited earlier in the day and apparently tired Beth out. She smiled to herself when she heard the opening chords and violin drift from the speakers and Avril Lavigne's voice sang the song that was so important to her. She found that even though it was the lyrics she loved about the song, it lacked the same emotion stirred within her when New Directions sang it. Or more to the point when Rachel sang it, she knew it was a group song but for whatever reason whenever she heard that song all she heard was Rachel's voice. She let the lyrics wash over her, through her, languishing in the memories they provoked. She remembered the words the tiny brunette had spoke to her a few days after Regional's.

_"I was so worried that you would be angry with me for suggesting we sang Keep Holding on but I remembered how much that song meant to you and you'd helped me so much, I just wanted you to know that this time I was singing it for you. I wanted you to have a fresher memory of it for when you needed it."_

She felt an odd sort of contentment at the words that had come from the girl she now called her girlfriend. Girlfriend, there was so much to the label that many dismissed but she found herself realising she was proud to call Rachel Berry her girlfriend. The thought made her laugh; her father would have a heart attack if he could hear her thoughts. She had gone against everything he had ever taught him, she had disappointed him through a mistake that would result in the greatest thing she had in her life and now if he were to find out about her relationship she would disgust him with her happiness. The funny thing about it all was this, she realised that she no longer cared. She had a beautiful daughter and an amazing girlfriend. Rachel truly was unlike anyone she had ever met, she was beautiful, different to say the least, kind and compassionate in ways people couldn't comprehend, she had an amazing voice that Quinn found she could always listen to, and a strength that the blonde admired.

The song had long faded but her thoughts were still focused on the pregnant girl in her life. It amazed her how it turned out that the girl she had tortured incessantly turned out to be the person to make her happy. She still found it hard to believe that Rachel had forgiven her so easily. _Past is past._ The words resonated within her. If Rachel could forgive her for the things she had done then perhaps it was time she forgave her mother for the things she hadn't. She knew her mom was a different person from the one that had sat by while her father kicked her out; they had both changed so much since her pregnancy. She put the next load of laundry in the washer deciding that she needed coffee, she would tell her mom she just needed to figure out how and sitting with a cup of coffee seemed like the perfect way to try and decipher how to break the news.

"I was beginning to wonder where you got to," Judy greeted as her daughter entered the kitchen.

"Laundry," _so much for having a quiet coffee_, "I'm beginning to think it's never ending."

"I was just about to make some coffee, would you like some?"

"Please," she sat herself at the kitchen table, watching her mother flit about the kitchen.

"Do anything interesting today Quinnie?"

"Santana and Brittany came over."

"Oh how lovely, how are they both?"

"They're good," Quinn smiled, "Brittany tired Beth out dancing."

"Brittany still dances? I wish I could've been here to see her dancing with Beth," Judy finished making the coffees and brought them over to the table, taking a seat opposite her daughter.

"I don't think B will ever stop dancing so I'm sure you'll see her dancing with Beth at some point," Quinn reassured her mother.

"Good, I don't want to miss out on anything with my favourite granddaughter."

"She's your only granddaughter," the young mother rolled her eyes.

"Besides the point," Judy countered before taking a tentative sip of her coffee.

Quinn sat and studied her mothers face, the once glazed over eyes were now filled with warmth, the coldness that had gripped her features had thawed out and softened revealing laughter lines as opposed to frowns. In general Judy Fabray was more relaxed and it showed in the way she carried herself. She still sat perfectly straight but it wasn't as rigid, she just generally sat straight because she believed in good posture.

"You ok Quinnie?" the attention she was receiving from her daughter hadn't gone unnoticed.

"Yeah I was just thinking."

"About?"

"How much we've changed."

"Well a lot has happened sweetheart, it's only natural that we'd change."

Quinn nodded before focusing on her untouched coffee, "Mom?"

"Hmm?"

"I need to talk to you about something."

"Sounds serious," Judy said a little apprehensively, she wasn't entirely sure how she should react, she couldn't remember a time during Quinn's teenage years when she had confided in her.

"It's about Rachel…"

"Is everything ok with her? Has something happened?"

"She's fine Mom," she could see the worry in her mothers eyes _this has to be a good sign_ and expanded to ease the older woman, "she seems like she's doing better, the baby is healthy."

"That's good," Judy relaxed slightly, she knew that Quinn had built a strong friendship with the Berry's daughter and knew it would upset her daughter if something (else) were to happen to the girl, "Quinnie, why so serious if she's doing better?"

Quinn pushed her now cold cup of coffee away from her, "I don't…" she wished she had the right words, "things with Rach…" she had no idea how she was supposed to do this, "I care about her a lot…"

"I know that sweetheart," Judy smiled sincerely at her daughter, "I bumped into Hiram the other day and he was telling me how much you've helped Rachel."

"Mom I…" _for Gods sake Quinn pull it together_ "I'm seeing Rachel."

"I know that Quinnie," Judy's features contorted in confusion.

"No Mom," she bit her lip nervously and raked a hand through her golden strands, "Rachel's my girlfriend Mom."

As soon as the words entered the room the air solidified, if it weren't for the over-enthusiastic and annoyingly persistent tick of the clock mounted above the kitchen window the two women would've sworn that time had stopped.

Quinn looked at her mother anxiously, "Mom?"

Judy couldn't bring herself to look at her daughter, not when the insecurities resonated so clearly in the young voice.

"Mom please say something."

Judy pushed herself away from the table, still refusing to make eye contact with her youngest child, "Excuse me a minute."

Quinn watched helplessly as her mother walked out of the room. "Fuck!" When she heard the click of the study door closing that was it, she had to leave, so she went upstairs as quietly as possible to her room. _At least maybe this time I'll get more than half hour to pack.

* * *

_

She shut the door of the study and let her forehead against the solid wood desperately trying to ignore the voice of her soon to be ex-husband that was yelling in her head. She made her way to the cupboard finding the one piece of him that was left behind and placed it on the desk as she sat down in the chair. Judy sat staring at the bottle of brandy in front of her, contemplating drinking it until she could no longer hear Russell's voice. No, she wouldn't give into him, not this time. She was her own person now; she could form her own opinion on this. That's how she sat for the next twenty minutes, lost in thought, her eyes focused on the bottle of alcohol willing her to give into her weaknesses.

* * *

Quinn pulled out the Cheerio bag from under her bed, the déjà vu in the action not lost on her, except when it came to this déjà vu she could remember the last time she had pulled the bag out from under the bed with tears silently streaking down her face much like they were now. _What the fuck was I expecting? _She opened her wardrobe and began flinging clothes onto her bed ready to be forced into her bag. _Shit how am I going to fit my stuff in with all of Beth's?_ She stopped emptying her wardrobe and silently made her way to the nursery where her daughter slept blissfully unaware of how their world was crumbling around them.

* * *

Judy played idly with the top of the bottle, screwing and unscrewing the cap repeatedly until she unscrewed it too far dispersing the aroma of her poison. _What am I doing?_ She screwed the cap on as tight as she could and returned the bottle to its place in the cupboard. _I'll never see my baby walk down the aisle._ The realisation of what her daughter had revealed brought along many realities that she wishes weren't true. She thought of the people of the world that were as narrow minded as her husband. _Am I one of them?

* * *

_

She folded Beth's clothes and placed them in the holdall. _I need to call someone to come get us._ She replayed the last hour in her head and realised how much she wished she wasn't there. _I want to be with Rach._ She wished that her girlfriend were there to give her a hug, to kiss the pain of rejection away. She was tempted to text her girlfriend and ask for one of her dads to pick her up. She closed her eyes, willing herself to stem the tears staining her fair skin. _Gotta be strong.

* * *

_

Judy made her way upstairs; Russell's voice no longer ringing in her ears. She stood in the doorway of her daughters' room, her eyes wide as she took in the chaos of the ordinarily orderly room. "What are you doing?"

"Packing," she tried to keep the threat of a fresh wave of tears from her voice but she knew that her vocal chords were strained, that the lump she had to force her words around in her throat gave her away, "it's what you want isn't it?" she hated that she had to resort to the head bitch in charge attitude, but she needed it. _I will not fall to pieces in front of her._

"Quinnie," her own voice was strained, the realisation that her daughter thought she was going to be evicted from their home once again felt like a punch in the gut, "stop."

"Why?" Quinn refused to hope that she was going to be given a day or two to find alternative arrangements for Beth's sake.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know yet," she stuffed what she could of her clothes into her bag, "I'll figure something out."

"Stay," Judy pleaded hoping that her daughter would at least hear her out before she vanished out of her life again.

"What?" Quinn stopped her movements, stunned by the tone of her mothers' voice.

"I don't want you to go," the older of the two women was sincere in her words, "I don't want to lose you again."

"I thought…what I said downstairs…" she couldn't get her brain to function properly.

"Caught me off guard," she finished Quinn's sentence. "Quinnie listen to me, please?"

Quinn nodded in acceptance, her eyes scrutinising the mature woman before her.

"Does she make you happy?"

She could only nod, too shocked by the question to form words.

Judy stepped closer to her daughter, feeling as though she was getting through to the young woman that continually managed to surprise her, "Do you love her?"

"Mom I…"

"Quinnie, do you love her?"

She chewed on her lip and nodded finally finding her voice, "I think I do."

Judy reached out and palmed her daughters face, "Then that's all that matters."

"Mom…" Quinn wrapped her arms around her mom, "thank you."

* * *

**Attention:** Well fuck me! I can't believe this is chapter 60, so much for this being a short story eh? LOL thank you all so much for sticking with me through this, I mean seriously, wow! I honestly didn't think anyone would want to read it when I started this and look at us now eh? 60 chapters later and we're still going! THANK YOU!

Ok before I get going you all need to go on over to **Davis B.P** and worship the ground she walks on! I seriously very nearly and I mean I was unbelievably close to jacking this story in when I was writing this chapter but after a good kick in the arse she convinced me to keep going and I'm now back on track with wanting to finish this for you all - so yeah go show her MAJOR love like EPIC love - couldn't have done this without you mate. And of course a big thank you to **chunkmunk09** for putting up with my constant emails of brainstorming and double checking things - thank you for all your help huni. How these two put up with me I don't know! LOL

Right question time...

What does Shelby wanna talk to Rachel about?  
Would you like to see a bit of a reconciliation between Rachel and Shelby OR should Rachel tell her mother where to go once and for all? Hmmm...only just thought of that one, could be interesting.

Still trying to figure out how to tell the rest of the Gleeks - suggestions?

Erm...bugger had another question, what was it? ...Nope it's gone...

Anyways please review this chapter you have no idea what it would mean to me cos this chapter was a bitch to write! So yeah please, please, please, I beg of you review!

Oh! Suddenly remembered the question! Would you like a little filler chapter next or should I dive straight in with Shelby?

I look forward to hearing what you all think :D


	61. Chapter 61

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Mercedes goes to visit Rachel, the pair reflect on things. Quinn tells Rachel that her mom knows about them. General fluff. Large chunk in italics is flashback.

**Warning: **sickly sweet highly recommend you read with bucket close by. Oh and a couple uses of bad language.

******Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

Rachel sat on her bed, lost in her own thoughts, a smile playing lazily across her face.

"Knock knock."

She looked up startled by the intrusion, "Hey."

"Hey baby girl," Mercedes walked over and sat on the edge next to Rachel, "your dad sent me up."

"I didn't think you were free today?"

"Change of plans, grandma's gonna visit next week now so I thought I'd surprise you."

"It's a nice surprise," Rachel said genuinely pleased.

"Good," Mercedes smiled. "What's with the chaos?" she asked looking at the photos spread out haphazardly across the bed.

"Well apparently Dad covertly took photos when we had our celebratory barbeque."

"Oh God," Mercedes picked up one of the photos, "he took pictures while we were eating! I look like a freaking hamster."

"No you don't," Rachel sniggered at the description, "but I must agree that Dad takes photos at the most inopportune moments."

"He got some nice ones too by the looks of it," she returned the photo to the bed and allowed her fingers to hover over the various pictures.

The pair sat in calm silence, examining the candid shoots that Hiram had captured.

"I remember this one," Mercedes laughed, "I swear girl I thought you were gonna kill him."

"I think I would've if I were given the chance," Rachel laughed.

* * *

_ "You know my logic rocks," Artie grinned, "besides you love me."_

_ "Tina, I have to ask you in all seriousness, how on earth do you put up with him?" Rachel exasperated. _

_ "I don't know," Tina laughed, relaxing into the banter of Rachel and Artie that she was still acclimatising to, "he gives good cuddles."_

_ "It's true. I give the best cuddles. Ever."_

_ Tina rolled her eyes at her boyfriend, "I'm gonna leave you two to argue," she laughed before making her way over to the others sat on the grass. _

_ "I have reason to doubt that," Rachel said in mock seriousness._

_ "Then get your butt over here and I'll prove it."_

_ Rachel began to lean down toward Artie when his voice stopped her, "What's that gonna do Houdini? That ain't a real hug."_

_ "What is your definition of a real hug then?" Rachel asked. _

_ Artie tapped his knee, "Take a seat."_

_ Rachel tentatively sat on Artie's lap, "This feels kind of weird…"_

_ "We can stop," Artie kept perfectly still, his arms resting at his sides. _

_ "No," Rachel said defiantly, "I want to experience one of these so called best cuddles for myself."_

_ Artie smiled and wrapped his arms carefully around the girl sat on his lap so as to not make her feel trapped._

_ Rachel returned the gesture, loosely framing her arms around his neck, "You do give pretty good hugs."_

_ "Houdini," Artie knew he was being mean before the words had even left his mouth but he just couldn't resist, "I can't feel my legs."_

_ "Oh God I'm so sorry," her words crashed together as she hurriedly stood up._

_ Artie couldn't contain his laughter, he laughed hard enough that tears began to roll down his cheeks collecting at the edges of his smile. _

_ "What's so funny?"_

_ "Houdini think about it," he managed to breathe between laughing, "I can't feel my legs anyway."_

_ Rachel stood staring open mouthed at the young man currently struggling to breathe. "ARTIE ABRAMS!"

* * *

_

"It's just as well Quinn and your daddy came back out into the garden."

"I'll get him back one day," Rachel laughed.

"Oh Lord help us all."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because Rae I know you're planning and I've seen the way you are with Artie, the two of those combined can only lead to all kinds of chaos."

"I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer."

The pair continued to look at the photos strewn across the bed, laughing at the various faces pulled, cooing over the pictures of Beth.

"What you doing Rachel?"

"What do you mean?" Rachel felt nervous; she struggled to think of a time this year when Mercedes had called her by her full name.

"It's a nice day, what you doing sat in here? Why not the garden?" Mercedes studied the pregnant girl for a moment, "Your dad said you hadn't come down all day."

Rachel hung her head in embarrassment, "I'm not avoiding them or anybody if that's what you're thinking."

"So what you doing locked away?"

"I'm not. It's just everything hurts so I was lying in bed thinking about some things and then Dad brought these up, I didn't realise that it appeared as though I'm hiding. I just lost track of time."

Mercedes nodded, she thought there was something more to Rachel confining herself to her room but she couldn't fault the reasons she had been given, after all who hasn't lost track of time before.

"It's nice," the pregnant singer began, "looking at pictures of friends, family, I don't have very many, pictures I mean…it's nice."

"Your dad took quite a few," _Maybe I can go grab my camera later._

"There's more, I've been trying to build myself up to looking at them," she noted the puzzled look on her friends face, "they're from Regional's."

"Ok…"

"It's strange," Rachel mused, "I used to pride myself on being able to convey the emotions of what I was singing through my voice and my eyes…now I'm scared of what I'll see."

"You shouldn't be, I know what you'll see."

"What?"

"A girl with far too much talent fighting back and coming home," Mercedes replied sincerely.

Rachel wiped at her eyes, "Damn hormones," a watery chuckle escaping her lips.

"You ok Rae?"

"Yeah," she offered a smile, "did you want to look at the photos with me?"

"You sure?"

"Yeah," Rachel nodded, "after all how bad can it be right?" she asked as she opened the envelope and removed the pictures.

"Ha, looks like they're in the order of what we performed," she said as she stared at New Directions, the boys sat in front of the standing girls.

"Dad's already been through these with Daddy, they probably sorted them this way."

They sat in silence as they slowly made their way through the photos. Gradually moving through Keep Holding On and into I Ain't Going Down.

"I still can't believe Finn came up with that song," Mercedes said absently.

"I'll admit he surprised me with it," Rachel agreed.

"Wait…does Puck look like he's gonna cry in that pic or is it just me?"

"He's singing to Beth," Rachel dismissed as she rolled her eyes.

"Ok…" Mercedes dropped the subject her interest piqued by the next image before her, "how on earth did I not see you and Quinn getting it together?" she asked more to herself than Rachel.

"What do you mean?"

"Well look."

"It's me and Quinn, I don't understand what it is I'm supposed to be looking at Mercedes," she wondered if their fingers trailing apart had anything to do with Mercedes' outburst, "we did everything as choreographed so I really don't see what it is I'm missing here."

"I'm not on about your hands dingbat," Mercedes rolled her eyes, "I'm on about your faces."

Rachel studied the picture trying to see what her friend was getting at, but she couldn't, all she could see were the varying emotions that the song had provoked. She looked at Mercedes quizzically.

"The way you're looking at each other," Mercedes explained, "you just seem…I don't know, really connected with each other."

"Oh…" her eyes returned to the photo, desperately trying to see this 'connection', "maybe it was something to do with the song we were singing, it's not like we've ever really sung together before then."

"It's more than that," Mercedes didn't know how she was to explain it, "I don't know how to explain it Rae it just is what it is."

Rachel just nodded and put the photo to one side for further scrutiny later and continued to look through the photos, stopping when she came across a picture of herself with a hand fisted in her dark hair. She knew exactly where this was; she could hear the lyrics in her head. _Now I'm losing my head. Trying to cover up the damage, _her hand subconsciously rubbed against the scar along her collarbone,_ and pad out all the bruises_.

Mercedes nudged Rachel slightly, "You ok?"

"Yeah," she drew her hand away from her collarbone, suddenly aware of what she had been doing, "just thinking about that song."

"You gonna say anymore than that?"

"It's just…I tried to put everything into it," Rachel studied the look in her eyes, the way her knuckles had turned white from the force she had gripped her hair, "I still feel it. Everything I felt in that moment."

Mercedes sat there silently, unsure as to what she should say.

"It's hard," Rachel nodded, continuing as though she were talking to herself, "but it's better that way. I feel, sometimes it's not the greatest sensation but I feel." She paused, mulling over her thoughts. She knew that her friends, her family, were still concerned about her. She could see it all as she brought her eyes to Mercedes face, everything she saw in the eyes that were trained on her, she knew she could trust her friend. That feeling of trust was a gift; she knew it, having friends. She remembered her own words _being apart of something special makes you special_, she was wrong, it only made you special if you had someone there beside you, whether it be a friend, family member, partner, it only mattered if you could share it with the people you love and trust. It was that trust that let her open up to the girl sat next to her as she spoke slowly, "It doesn't always hurt to smile. Sometimes it does but not always. Sometimes I feel it. The smile."

Mercedes wrapped her arm loosely around Rachel's shoulders, "It will get better," she promised.

"I know," she nodded absently, returning the photos back to their envelope, "I wish it would get better faster though."

"I think this is the one time I agree with your impatience," Mercedes laughed. "So Rae, what's it gonna take for me to convince you to relocate your butt to the garden so we can enjoy the sunshine?"

"I was kind of hoping to put some pictures up," Rachel admitted sheepishly, "but once I've done that I may consider this proposed relocation."

"Ok well, while you do that I'm gonna shoot back home and grab something ok?"

"Sure," Rachel smiled, "Quinn will probably be here then."

"Cool," Mercedes stood and stretch, "maybe she'll be able to help me to get your butt outside."

"Yeah, yeah," Rachel laughed, "go if you're going already."

"Feel the love," Mercedes laughed back as she made her way to the door, "later baby girl," she threw over her shoulder before leaving the tiny brunette alone.

Rachel carefully scoured through the photos strewn out across her bed, selectively narrowing down her favourites (which was a pretty hard task because she liked them all) and putting them to one side in preparation of pinning them around her room.

Photos separated into two piles she put the pile that weren't being pinned up (at least not yet) back into their envelope. She reached for the photo she had put to one side earlier and hit play on her iPod dock thankful that it was already set up on her bedside table as she really didn't have the urge to walk anywhere just yet. She settled herself back on the bed, the pile of photos carefully moved to the side so that she wouldn't send them flying everywhere and the other photo in her hand.

Rachel studied the photo intently, trying desperately to see the look that Mercedes was on about. A part of her could see it, but it was too easy for her to dismiss. They had shared a connection with that song, with the exception of Puck, none of the other members of New Directions could fully comprehend the meaning behind those lyrics, how they really would cry at night and pray that everything would turn out ok for them and their daughters. None the less it was there, that look of warmth and caring. Ok, now she could see it, it was there. It wasn't as strong as it was now, but it was most certainly there.

"You awake?" Quinn whispered as she stood in the doorway.

Rachel lifted her head, "Yeah," she smiled, "hey."

"Hi," Quinn walked into the room, Beth balanced on her hip.

Rachel moved the photos off of the bed, "How are my favourite girls doing?" she asked as she pushed herself so that she were sitting up.

"Good," Quinn placed Beth on the bed and kissed her girlfriend hello before joining them on the bed.

"Come here you," Rachel said as she lifted Beth up and kissed her on the cheek, "you're getting so big."

Quinn watched the interaction in silence, a grin spread across her features, lighting up her eyes.

"What are you so happy about might I ask?" the brunette eyed the older of the two blondes.

"I have a lot to be happy about," Quinn replied knowingly.

"Oh?" Rachel tickled the small child that was leaning against her eliciting a high pitch squeal.

"Yeah," Quinn smiled mischievously, she knew she was holding out on Rachel.

"Care to tell me any of these things that make you so happy?"

"Well," Quinn began counting them off on her fingers, "I have great friends, I have a gorgeous daughter, an amazing girlfriend," she smiled at the blush in said girls cheeks, "things at home are getting better and mom's ok with me and you, Puck is a great-"

"Wait a minute," Rachel cut in, "what was that about your mom?" she asked disbelievingly.

"Oh so you caught that?" Quinn giggled.

Rachel set Beth down between them, "You told her? When did this happen? Is she really ok with us?" she rapid fired.

"Rach," Quinn laughed, "you really need to learn to breathe when you speak."

"Quinn!" Rachel whined in mild annoyance.

"Ok, ok!" She stemmed her laughter, "Yes I told her, yesterday. She really is ok with us, she says so long as I'm happy then that's all that matters. And you make me happy Rach so she's fine."

"Really?"

"Yes really."

"Wow…" Rachel digested the information, "I mean wow! Quinn this is…wow."

"You said that already," Quinn chuckled.

"What made you tell her?" Rachel asked.

"You," the blonde answered sincerely, "I was doing laundry and Keep Holding On came on the radio and it made me think of you and I couldn't think of a reason not to tell her. I guess I just didn't want to have to hide such an important part of my life from her."

Rachel leaned across and kissed the blonde sweetly, "I swear you and Mercedes are out to make me cry today," she smiled, tears reflecting in the corners of her eyes.

"Mercedes was here?"

"Yeah," Rachel dabbed at the corners of her eyes with her sleeve, "she'll be back soon, she just went to grab something from hers. Speaking of which, we should probably move downstairs and out to the garden, I think she may actually kick my butt if I'm still up here when she gets back. The pictures will just have to wait."

"Pictures?"

"Oh God I completely forgot, Dad got the pictures from Regional's and our celebratory barbeque printed."

"Can I see them?"

"Of course, why don't I bring them with us and we can look at them and prevent my butt from being kicked all at once?"

Quinn laughed, "Sounds like a plan."

Rachel gathered the photos while Quinn scooped up Beth and the pair made their way downstairs to the garden.

They put the photos to one side while they pulled the sun loungers together and enjoyed the sun together. Beth sat between them chattering away happily to herself as she rested against Rachel's swollen bump.

"She's absolutely fascinated," Quinn laughed.

"Yeah," Rachel smiled at the tiny blonde pressed against her, "I guess she likes being able to feel her."

"And you? You're ok?"

"I am," her eyes met the ones watching her cautiously, "I'm not over the moon yay I'm having a baby, but I'm ok. Although I swear if she keeps kicking the way she is I'm going to enrol her in judo classes."

"You mean you haven't already?" Quinn joked playfully.

"Very funny," Rachel replied dryly.

"Well this is you Rach, you plan things like no one else," she inched her face closer to the brunette's, carefully arching her body so as not to squish her daughter between them and captured her girlfriends lips.

"Awww," Mercedes interrupted.

Quinn pulled back, rolling her eyes, "Hey 'Cedes."

"Hey mama," Mercedes laughed.

"Oh God you took a picture?" Quinn asked shaking her head.

"Yeah, Rae was saying earlier that she doesn't have many photos of friends so I went to grab my camera."

"That's what you went to get?" Rachel turned so that she was lying on her back, turning her head so that she could look at Mercedes.

"Yeah," Mercedes waved the camera, "now quit ya moaning, I wanna get a picture of the three of you together."

* * *

**Attention:** Hello all. I'm so sorry it took me so long to update. You seriously have no idea how much trouble I had with this chapter, I had severe writers block - it was not funny!

Anyways I probably won't update for a few days, I got some personal stuff that I need to sort through and grieving that needs to be done which I'm sure hasn't fully hit me yet so yeah, gonna be a little while until next update I imagine.

Right questions...

1) I'm still undecided about this whole Rachel and Shelby thing - would you like their to be a reconciliation or is this going to be the closure that Rachel needs when it comes to her mom?

2) Are Artie and Quinn the only ones gonna turn up at the cafe for moral support or will Mercedes and possibly Santana show up for support having heard in some shape or form about the meeting?

3) Still trying to figure out how to break the news to the rest of the group, am thinking of having them done seperately but maybe have it so that Santana tells Brittany, Mercedes tells Kurt, Puck tells Finn (as well as Mike and Matt maybe) and Artie tells Tina - what do you think?

4) What do you all think to a get together, similar to the barbeque, before they all return to school? Yes or pointless fluff that I could cover in a Glee club meeting at school?

Right I think that's all for now folks!

Big thanks to my wonderful girlies **chunkmunk09** and **Davis B.P**. If you haven't been and checked them out you totally should and you really need to read **Davis B.P**'s story cos it's freaking awesome! Go!

Please, please review, really keeps me going and I'm kinda struggling right now.

Anyways that's it - hope you enjoyed this long overdue update!


	62. Chapter 62

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Shelby and Rachel finally sit down to talk.

**Warning: **mild language

******Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

**

* * *

**

"Hey," Artie greeted as the two girls approached him. "No Beth?"

"She's with Puck," Quinn replied.

"Hi," Rachel said nervously.

"You ready for this Houdini?"

"It's now or never right?" Rachel answered.

The three walked towards the café, pausing when Rachel stopped abruptly.

"You ok?" Quinn asked.

"She's here already," Rachel nodded towards the direction of the café, where Shelby was sat, "at least she's got a table at the back," she swallowed back the lump of nauseous nerves in her throat, "so it won't be that big of a deal if I were to make a spectacle of myself."

"You won't make a spectacle of yourself," Artie consoled.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"She's right Houdini, you don't have to do anything you're not ready for."

"I know," she smiled at the two people she was closest to other than her fathers, "I want to do this."

"Ok," the pair said almost in unison.

The three made their way to the café, Rachel showing her reluctance as she dragged her feet; Quinn and Artie joined the small queue at the counter as soon as they were in the door.

"I'll be back in a minute," Rachel said as she made her way towards where her mother was sat.

"Rachel," Shelby made to stand upon seeing her daughter.

"Don't get up," Rachel rushed, halting Shelby with an open palm, "I was just letting you know that I was here." She tried to rein her nerves under control, "I'm just going to get a drink and say goodbye to my friends," she indicated towards Artie and Quinn, "would you like anything?" _Polite and cordial, that's the way to handle this._

"I'm fine," Shelby nodded at the cup of coffee sat on the table, "thanks."

"Ok, I'll be back," Rachel promised before turning on her heel.

Shelby watched her daughter carefully, she studied the way she carried herself, _she's not the confident girl I briefly knew last year,_ she picked up on the little exchanges between the friends, _I wonder what the blonde just said,_ she thought as she noticed Quinn whisper something in Rachel's ear as they shared a hug. She tentatively sipped her coffee as she watched her daughter walk back towards her.

Rachel sat herself opposite Shelby, placing her bottled water on the table. She wasn't entirely sure how she should proceed. The silence between them was uneasy, and Rachel took comfort in knowing that her best friend and girlfriend weren't far away.

"You look good," Shelby voiced, not wanting to dive straight in.

Rachel brought her eyes to the ones that were so familiar and yet alien, "I…I don't know what I should call you." She hugged herself with her arms resting on her stomach, "I want to call you mom and I shouldn't, you're not my mom."

"I know," Shelby agreed sadly, "I'd like to fix that, if you'll let me."

Rachel stared at her hands, "May I call you Shelby? Just for now...everything's so confusing right now I just…"

"Sure."

"I'm sorry," Rachel blurted, "for what I said at Regional's."

"Why?" Shelby's brow furrowed, in her mind everything Rachel had said was true. She had let her daughter down, because she had put herself first, "Everything you said was true."

"I shouldn't have gone off at you like that. I was angry, there was an…altercation with Jesse…"

"I heard," she steeped her fingers, "would I be wrong to assume that the blonde Jesse told me about would be the same blonde that you arrived with?"

"Quinn," a smile flashed in Rachel's eyes, "yes, I admit her response was a bit extreme but it was not entirely unwarranted."

"That doesn't altogether surprise me but I am intrigued as to what provoked Quinn to such violence?"

"He called me a whore," Rachel said simply, "well actually I think it'd be fairer to say that he directly implied that I am a whore."

"I see," Shelby tried to remain in control of the anger that suddenly surged through her, "in that case I think Quinn was quite justified in her actions."

"You're not mad at her?"

"Should I be?"  
"I was always under the impression that Jesse was like a son to you," Rachel said sadly, remembering the detail in to which Jesse had gone into to divulge how it was Shelby's plan to have him infiltrate her life when they had bumped into each other the summer that New Directions had lost Regional's, it was one of the reasons she now struggled to trust the woman in front of her.

"No, I was closer to him than most of my students, but I wouldn't say we had a mother-son relationship."

"Oh," Rachel felt a tiny part of herself relax, for some reason hearing that Shelby hadn't formed that motherly bond with someone else made her feel better about the relationship or lack thereof that she had with her mother.

"Jesse said those things when he saw you," she knew that she didn't need to explain further, "didn't he?"

Rachel nodded, "He leapt to conclusions about Finn and I, and when Noah tried to defend me, well it just escalated from there really." Rachel laughed, no longer routed by the fear she had experienced at the time the entire situation was quite funny, "I was sure Noah and Finn were going to kill him, figuratively of course, but then Quinn got there before anyone else had the chance."

"I'm glad she did," Shelby answered sincerely, _if I ever see St. James again…

* * *

_

"Do you think she's ok?" Quinn asked.

"I have no idea," Artie didn't tear his gaze from the table his best friend was at, "it's kinda hard to tell with her back to us."

"Sit and spin," Santana stuck her head in between the two, "Q."

"I wish you wouldn't call me that," Artie groaned, turning to his head to see Mercedes stood behind the aggressive Latina, he smiled, "Mercedes."

"Hey, we're gonna grab some drinks, you two want anything?" Mercedes greeted warmly, making up for the cold of Santana.

"Another cappuccino would be great," Artie answered, fishing his hand in his pocket for some change.

"Save it sit an spin," Santana said, "I got it, consider it payment for me calling you sit and spin. Q you want anything?"

"I'm fine," the blonde answered.

"Coffee it is," Santana walked off before Quinn could make an argument, Mercedes in tow.

"How are you friends with her really?" Artie asked in mock seriousness.

"You know what Artie, sometimes I wonder that myself," Quinn laughed.

* * *

"I'm beginning to think your friends don't trust me," Shelby voiced as she noticed two girls join the pair that Rachel had arrived with.

"What makes you say that?" Rachel forced herself to keep her focus on the woman in front of her.

"They've brought along reinforcements," she pointed as though giving her daughter permission to look.

Rachel turned so that she could see the table she knew Artie and Quinn were sat at and inwardly groaned when she noticed that Santana and Mercedes had joined them, _Well, this can lead nowhere good._ "They're just trying to look out for me," she turned back around, her words slowing as she did so, "they're worried I'll get hurt and what it'll do to me."

"I never meant to hurt you Rachel."

"Then why did you?" she asked timidly.

"Because I genuinely believed it was the best thing. You didn't need me. You're not a little girl anymore." She locked eyes with her daughter wanting to convey all the ways she wish she hadn't turned her back on her a year ago, "I was selfish. I needed you to need me. I never stopped to take into consideration the ways you could possibly need me in the future."

"I needed you then," Rachel said feebly, in a way it was true, but her need a year ago was more of a want.

"People make mistakes," she hoped that her daughter would get the double meaning in her words, she also knew that the meaning aimed at her daughter was a lie but sometimes it was easier to believe a lie than bear the pain of the truth.

"I didn't."

* * *

"What are you guys doing here?" Quinn asked now that Santana and Mercedes had finished rearranging the furniture and settled themselves in their newly acquired chairs.

"Someone needs to be ready to smack the bitch," Santana answered bluntly as though it were obvious as to why she was there, "cos I hate to break it to ya Q, I doubt the bitch has any balls you can crunch."

"Nice S," Quinn said dryly.

"Can I just remind everyone that I'm here?" Artie raised his hand, "Less of the ball crunching."

Mercedes saved Artie from the response about to spitfire it's way out of Santana's lips, "I wanted to be here for Rae, whatever happens she's gonna need her friends."

"I wish we knew what was going on," Artie said concerned, he hated that he couldn't see his friends face so that he'd be able to tell when she needed help.

* * *

Mother and daughter sat in silence, Rachel's admission permeating the air. Shelby mulled over the things Rachel had said to her at Regional's, while Rachel pondered as to whether she should expand on what she had meant.

"The things you said at Regional's about the police," Shelby began, she remembered the chatter of the Carmel High faculty in the staff room one day, the latest scandal to hit McKinley and how it would never have happened at Carmel, she remembered feeling sorry for the girls parents. She chose her words carefully, not wanting to say the actual word of what she knew her daughter had been through, "you're the junior they were on about in the papers, aren't you?"

Rachel lowered her head, her face contorting with shame; she wished she could lie, "Yes."

Shelby fought back the bile that burned at the back of her throat, she had known, once Rachel had walked away from her at Regional's and she had the chance to digest her daughters words she knew but hearing that it was true made her feel sick. "Rachel, listen to me," her voice was soft, warm, it belonged to that of a mother, "you have nothing to be ashamed of."

"So people keep saying," she reached for her water, twisted the cap off and drank deep. _I'm not going to cry, I'm not going to cry. Not in front of her, I can't.

* * *

_

"God this waiting is killing me!" Mercedes exclaimed.

Quinn nodded, "I hope she's ok."

"Houdini's strong," Artie assured his best friends worried girlfriend, "she'll be fine."

Santana barely registered the conversation of the other three sat at the table with her, her eyes expertly trained on Rachel's back. During the weeks that she had shadowed the tiny diva at school once the news had broken about Karofsky, the Latina had learnt a lot about the girl, she knew her tells. She had been oblivious of them all at first and probably would be still if Brittany hadn't told her about the things she saw when nobody else did. As soon as she noticed the starlet straighten her neck and tense her shoulders back the Latina was up out of her seat.

"Where you going?" Mercedes asked cautiously, not trusting that the Cheerio wouldn't stampede her way over to Shelby and knock her out of her seat and on her ass.

"I'm gonna go take a piss is that ok with you?" Santana sniped.

"Be nice S."

"Yes mom," she threw over her shoulder, rolling her eyes as she made her way towards the toilets.

* * *

"You've done nothing wrong," Shelby said sincerely, her heart heavy with the pain of knowing what her daughter had been through, of knowing how she had not been there to support her when she needed it the most.

"I know," Rachel answered quietly, her fingers picking at the label on her bottle of water.

"Huni," she placed her hand on one of her daughters, "you didn't do anything."

The sincerity of Shelby's voice, the warmth of the hand on her own, the feeling that had been lacking before, it was too much, "Excuse me."

Shelby watched helplessly as her daughter practically ran to the rest room. "Smooth Corcoran…"

* * *

Santana sat perched on the counter between the sinks, a bored expression on her face, one hand propping her up on the counter while the other was bent at her face, a paper towel ready in hand. She knew as soon as she heard the creak of the door hinge that it was Rachel.

Rachel stopped short, "Santana." She tried to stem the tears that were slowly streaking her face.

"Took you long enough Berry," Santana offered the paper towel to the girl, "Here. I gotta say I'm impressed, I've been waiting for like ten minutes."

"You were waiting for me?" She offered the Cheerio a thankful smile and wiped at her eyes with the paper towel.

"Who else am I gonna be waiting for in here honestly?" The Latina rolled her eyes.

"But why?" Rachel sniffled.

Santana shrugged.

"How did you know I was going to come in here?" the pregnant brunette asked, suddenly realising that the Latina had pre-empted her arrival.

"You have your tells," Santana said, "B pointed them out to me."

"I'm surprised that you're here and not Quinn."

"Give her two minutes and she will be," Santana laughed.

Rachel looked at her friend confused.

"She's giving you a minute."

"How do you know all this?"

"I know Q."

Rachel thought back to the conversation she had had with Quinn concerning her name and the things Santana had done for her in order to end her tormenting, _It makes sense that she knows Quinn so well._

"Earth to Berry," Santana clicked her fingers.

"Sorry."

"At least you've stopped crying," she hopped down off the side, "I don't do crying. What were you blubbering about?"

"She knows about…what happened."

"She was horrible wasn't she? Want me to go kick her ass?"

"No, she was really good about it."

"I still don't like the bitch," Santana said nonchalantly, inspecting her fingernails.

"I don't even know what I think of her," Rachel admitted.

Santana held her hand up, her fingers counting down.

"What?" Rachel's brow furrowed in confusion.

The pair heard the squeak of the door as Santana reached the last of her countdown.

"Right on time Q," Santana walked towards the blonde, "she's all yours."

"Glad to see you've left my girl in one piece S," Quinn shot back, a smirk aimed at her best friend.

"Yeah, you owe me," Santana muttered as she left the bathroom.

"You ok?" Quinn's voice was tinged with worry.

"Yeah," Rachel smiled, happy that her girlfriend was there.

Quinn closed the space between them and wrapped her arms around Rachel, "How's it going?"

"Ok," Rachel pressed her lips lightly to the exposed collarbone she had access to; "it'd just be easier if she didn't care. At least then I could walk away with my fears confirmed and be done with it."

"Yeah," she stroked her fingers idly through the mane of dark hair, "it's ok to want her to be a part of your life, you know that right?"

"I should probably go back out there, make sure that Santana hasn't killed my mother," Rachel began to pull away, not wanting to answer the question that brought so many of it's own questions with it.

"Rach…"

"I shouldn't keep Shelby waiting."

"Ok," she knew that pushing Rachel to talk about this wasn't go to get her anywhere right now so she let the avoidance slide for now and let her hands trace the outside of Rachel's arms until their hands met and she laced their fingers, "you gonna be ok?"

"Yeah," Rachel tiptoed and brought her lips to meet Quinn's in a brief kiss, "I can do this, it's just not what I was expecting."

"If you need any of us…"

"Thanks," she stepped back, "how do I look? Are my eyes all puffy?" _I don't want Shelby to think I'm an absolute train wreck right now. _

"No, you look beautiful."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"I am not having this argument with you," Quinn laughed, "now go on, get your butt moving before I decide to run away with you."

"That sounds like the better option."

"It does," Quinn agreed, "but you have to go."

"I know," Rachel gave Quinn's hands a squeeze before reluctantly detaching herself, "this is me, I'm going."

"Go," Quinn laughed when Rachel still hadn't made any movement towards the door.

"I'm gone," Rachel smiled at her girl one last time before steeling herself for her return, her face setting into one of determination. _I can do this.

* * *

_

Shelby subtly heaved a sigh of relief as she watched Rachel walk across the café back towards their table. She had been sat there for the last fifteen minutes waiting anxiously for her daughters return, debating on whether or not she should go check on the young pregnant girl. The only thing that had stopped her from going to check on her daughter was the glare that she had received from the Latina that had exited the restroom after Quinn had entered, the look in the young eyes conveyed the message of 'leave her the hell alone'. Ordinarily Shelby would've challenged the message but the girl knew her daughter better than she did, _I hope I can change that,_ and decided for quite possibly the first time in her life to let it go.

"Sorry," Rachel apologised as she sat back down, "I didn't mean to be gone so long."

"No it's me who should apologise, I really didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't," she could hear the sorrow in her mothers voice and she found it oddly warming, "it's just talking about it…it's hard."

Shelby nodded in understanding, "Let's talk about something else."

"No," Rachel shook her head, "you said earlier you wanted to fix things," Shelby nodded in understanding, "I need you to know, to understand, if we have any hope of forming some semblance of a relationship between us, does that even make sense?" her brow creased as she puzzled over her own meaning.

"I understand what you mean," Shelby smiled endearingly.

"Ok…good, that's good." The younger of the two dark haired women chewed on the inside of her lip, trying to figure out the best way to phrase the things she needed to inform her mother of. "Shelby…why do you want to fix things?"

"I was waiting for that," she admitted, "although I honestly thought you'd ask it sooner. When I first met you properly, it was a shock. I'd missed so much of your life. You'd grown up. You weren't the baby girl I'd left behind anymore. I didn't know how to be a mom to a teenage daughter."

"What changed?"

"I realised that I'd rather have you in my life as a teenager than not have you in my life at all."

"Why didn't you say anything before?"

"Because it took me a while to work things out," she sipped her coffee, grimacing at the cold bitterness of it, "admitting that I need you, even though you're old enough to not need me anymore…it took a lot."

Rachel blurted out the words before she even thought them through, "I'm keeping her." _Shit._ That wasn't the way she had wanted to respond to her mothers admission to wanting to be a part of her life, nor was it how she wanted to tell her about the daughter she was planning on keeping.

"Sorry?" Shelby looked at Rachel bewildered, of all the responses the young woman before her could have replied with that definitely wasn't one she could have anticipated.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to say that and then I did and now I-"

"Rachel calm down," she could see Leroy in Rachel, "it's ok."

"It's not, I didn't want to tell you like that."

"Rachel, honestly it's fine." Shelby smiled warmly, hoping that it would reassure Rachel. "You said her, you're having a girl?" Rachel nodded. "Keeping her…is that your decision?"

"Yes, I want to keep her."

"What do your dads think?"

"They've been ok with it, they're turning the spare room into a nursery for her."

"It's a very brave decision."

"They've always been very supportive of me."

Shelby stared at her daughter disbelievingly; she knew that there was no way that Rachel had thought the remark had been aimed towards her fathers, "Rachel…"

"I know. I just…I'm not sure how people expect me to respond. It's not brave, it's just my decision, it was the only option for me, for lack of a better way to explain myself." She could see the negation forming in her mothers' eyes, "I should rephrase that. It was the only option that I felt was the best choice for me. The other options, the ramifications were far too great to even be considered a valid choice."

Shelby nodded in understanding, she knew that on some level her own abandonment of Rachel had an influence (although she was unsure as to how great or small) on Rachel's decision to keep her child, regardless of how they had come in to existence. "Do you have a name for her?"

"Mini Houdini is about as close to a name she has right now."

"Mini Houdini?" she quirked an eyebrow half in puzzlement, half in amusement.

"There was an incident when the paper published the story, Artie's called me Houdini ever since and has decided that her nickname is Mini Houdini."

"An incident? Am I going to get the story to that one?"

"One day," Rachel offered a friendly smile, "I know I'm renowned for talking incessantly but we should at least try and save some topics for discussion at a later date."

Shelby suppressed a laugh, "Either you are a lot more like me than we had originally realised or you're very close to your due date, in which case do you really think there are going to many more discussions?"

Rachel smiled, she wasn't sure what had happened or how it had happened but she felt as though she was being allowed to see a different side to Shelby, one that wasn't so hard and unfeeling. _It's nice. A little unnerving, but nice. How did we do a complete 180? Rachel Berry what happened to polite and cordial?_ She fiddled with the now empty bottle in front of her, slowly beginning to bring her guard back up, "What do you mean by that? That I'm more like you that we'd originally realised?"

"When I was pregnant with you, I was really big. At six months I looked like I was going to drop at any minute." She laughed fondly at the memory, "I was so big and it's funny because you weren't a big baby, I was just exceptionally large for a first time pregnancy. People thought I was having twins, it drove me nuts all the time."

Rachel's face began to lighten, her lips pulling back with laughter, the likeness between herself and her mother all too funny.

* * *

"Things seem to be going well," Mercedes voiced.

"Is she…wait a minute is she laughing at Rachel?" Santana began to stand but stopped when a hand clamped around her wrist.

"Sit back down S," Quinn's voice was laced with threat, her eyes never leaving Rachel, "she's ok."

"Quinn's right," Artie relished the wave of relief as the sound of Rachel's laugh filled his eardrums, "she's laughing too."

"I hope she's laughing at bitch face's expense," Santana huffed.

Mercedes rolled her eyes at the Latina, "I'm just glad she's laughing. If things are going well then that's a good thing."

"You sure about that?" Santana shot back.

"So long whatever happens is what Rach wants, then it's a good thing," Quinn ended the potential argument before it got going, remembering how much hurt she had heard in her girlfriends voice when the small brunette had admitted she didn't want to do what her mother had done to her to her unborn daughter.

* * *

"September twenty-seventh," Rachel said, her laughter coming to an end as she sobered.

"That's your due date?"

"Yeah," Rachel nodded, "not the most ideal time but at least it's fairly early in the school year."

"Do you know what you're doing about school?" Shelby asked.

"Not really. I know I need to figure out what I'm going to do when it comes to taking time off from school, but thinking about it is just…overwhelming."

"I can only imagine. Do you know what you'll do once she's born?"

"Try to do the best for her," Rachel answered sincerely, "try and be a good mom."

* * *

"Ok, is it me or have things over there turned all serious?" Artie questioned worriedly.

"It's not just you," Mercedes soulful eyes stayed glued to the table that was their cause of concern.

"Good girl Berry," Santana smirked.

"What?" Mercedes brow furrowed in confusion, unsure as to what Santana was praising Rachel for.

"Berry's made the bitch cry," Santana's voice was full of pride.

"S, I don't think those are the tears of a scathing remark…" Quinn observed, "I think Rach has said something…"

"Whatever Q," Santana rolled her eyes, "take away my fun why don't you?"

"Sorry S," Quinn shrugged, her voice conveying no sense of sincerity.

"Whatever," the Latina huffed, "bitch still has tears in her eyes."

* * *

"I'm so sorry Rachel," Shelby's eyes glistened with unshed tears.

"It's ok," Rachel tried to be convincing but she knew it wouldn't work, her mother had hurt her so much when she walked away from her.

"You needed me and I wasn't there, I was selfish."

Rachel sat silently; she didn't know what to say. This was the part Shelby had originally wanted to discuss; she wanted to be a part of Rachel's life.

"I'd _really_ like to try again," Shelby found herself showing her daughter her more vulnerable side as she added, "if you'll let me?"

"Ok," Rachel nodded. "We can try."

* * *

"Hey guys, I think they're done," Mercedes said excitedly.

The four watched as Rachel and Shelby stood.

"What the hell is she waiting for?" Santana asked.

"I don't know," Artie's eyes never left Rachel.

* * *

"So I'll call you?" Rachel said nervously, unsure as how to proceed.

"I'd like that," Shelby nodded, "may I hug you?"

Rachel hesitated a moment, completely caught off guard by the question, "Erm…ok."

Shelby wrapped her arms around her daughter and for the first time since she had reconnected with Rachel felt that maternal tug that had been missing, "If you need anything…"

"I'll call," Rachel promised as she stepped back, "I'll see you soon then," she offered a wave before she turned and walked away.

* * *

"Ok what the fuck?" Santana almost yelled.

"Calm down," Mercedes tried.

Quinn walked over to meet Rachel halfway between the two tables, "Hey."

"Hey," Rachel whispered.

"You ok?"

Rachel wasn't sure how to answer so did the thing that she needed the most, and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and buried her face in her shirt.

"Rach?"

"Sorry," Rachel apologised as she reluctantly pulled herself away, "can we go home now?"

"Sure," Quinn agreed a little too eagerly, wanting to be somewhere where her and Rachel could be together without Rachel feeling uncomfortable, "what about everyone else? They're worried about you."

"They can come back with us," Rachel said, "I just want to get away from all these people."

"Ok," Quinn linked her arm with Rachel's knowing that this was one of the ways she could be affectionate with Rachel in public without them actually looking like a couple, "let's go get them and go."

* * *

**Attention:** Hello all! I know it's been forever since I updated and all I can do is offer you my sincerest apologies. I have a lot of life stuff that I gotta deal with right now and it's really been interfering with my writing. I've been writing this chapter ever since I last updated, that's how much I am off my game right now.

I can't think of any questions right now...oh no I lie!

Next chapter, what would you rather I covered -

1) The girls finally getting a real kiss and I'll focus a little bit more on their relationship for a chapter, just the two of them.

2) Have the rest of the Glee club find out about them?

Ok, I'll try not to keep you all waiting as long for the next chapter but like I said I've got a lot on my plate right now and I kinda have to focus on that even though I don't want to. I promise that this story will get finished, one way or another, so don't worry about being left hanging.

Please, please, please, I beg of you, review. I really need the motivation right now. LOL  
A huge, massive thank you to **Davis B.P** for keeping me going in so many ways, I love ya babe; and of course a thank you to **chunkmunk09** for always helping me with this story.


	63. Chapter 63

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Rachel begins to crack under the pressure of her situation...

**Warning: **some of you are about to hate me...a LOT!

******Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

**

* * *

**

She sits there waiting, curled up as small as her body will allow her, which isn't all that much now that she is nearly eight months pregnant. Her mind is racing, her fears at the forefront of her mind, she tries to ignore them, tries to focus on the fact that her girlfriend would be here in a few minutes. That was probably a mistake given her current state of mind. She felt the flutter in her stomach, that she was beginning to find oddly comforting, as her daughter repositioned herself in her sleep. _I can't do this. _She let her hand rest on her swollen midsection. _It's not fair on Quinn. Maybe my dads were right. With her on the way, Quinn will always be second. She deserves better, she deserves to come first. And with school starting…we'd have to hide this more than we are now. Oh God, school. _

Rachel was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear the front door, nor did she notice the figure leaning in the doorway.

She stood and studied the girl on the couch, noting the way her brow was furrowed, the worried look in her eyes, the set line of her lips, the way her hand rested protectively over her ever expanding stomach.

"Rach?"

_She deserves someone that isn't going to be afraid to show that they're with her, especially at school. She needs someone who can be there for her. Someone that's not going to be afraid of being seen together. If people at school find out…_

"Rachel?" she stood before the girl in question, unsure of how to rouse her from her clearly troubled thoughts.

She could feel the biting sting of tears as they threatened to escape and cascade down her flushed cheeks.

"Come on Rach," she carefully places a hand atop of the brunettes bent knee, "you're beginning to worry me."

"Quinn," the contact brings her back to reality, "I didn't hear you come in…have you been here long?" her voice is tinged with guilt. _I hope she hasn't been here long._

"Not long," her words rush, she knows that she will only get an answer from Rachel once she's answered her question, "sweetie, what's going on?"

"I'm fine," she answers automatically, her voice betraying her and she knows it. _What is happening to me? I'm Rachel Berry! I'm a performer, my performance has never let me down. Well, it didn't before…_

"Rach," Quinn nudges her gently, "stay with me ok?" Rachel nods and mumbles an apology as her girlfriend sits beside her. "What's going on Rach?" her voice is soft and warm, full of concern, "What's going on inside that pretty little head of yours?"

She bites her lip anxiously, attempting to fight back the tears that threaten to consume her with the weight of her life as she rasps, "I can't do this."

The golden haired beauty's face contorts in confusion, her eyes betraying the fear that's in her heart as she asks, "Do what?"

"This," she moves her hand between them, "us, her," she moves her arms frantically with each word that escapes from her tight throat, "mom, school," she pushes herself up from the sofa and stands to face Quinn, "I'm so tired of all of it!"

She barely registers a word of the tiny brunette's eruption, too focused on the first part. _She can't do us. She doesn't want to be with me anymore? _

Silence permeates the room as the two opposites process the volcanic word eruption.

"You don't…" Quinn clears her throat, _You have to ask_, and forces herself to ask the question she really doesn't want to ask, "you don't want to be with me?"

* * *

**Attention:** Hello one, hello all! I hope everyone is well and not feel too murderous with me for the way I've left things. I swear to you, there's a point to this! I know it has been a long time since I have updated and all I can do is offer my most sincere apologies, I would explain the reason for my lack of writing but I feel that you probably don't want to know about my personal life and just want me to get on with writing so that's pretty much what I'm going to do.

Ok so question time...this is actually kinda more like a poll as I wanna see what you guys think is going to happen (I already know)

Do you think Quinn and Rachel will...

1) Break-up and remain friends?

2) Break-up and revert the 'frenemies' they were in season 1?

3) Stay together but be slightly awkward?

4) Stay together with nothing changing between them?

5) Stay together and be stronger than ever?

Anyways, I am so sorry for keeping you guys waiting for what 3 months? I will NOT be doing that again in a hurry, I feel I'm finding my groove again.

Thank you to **chunkmunk09** for being so enthusiastic about my return to the world of writing, ya really made me chuckle mate.

However, you should all bow to and worship, **Davis B.P**, if it weren't for this amazing girl I probably wouldn't be here to finish this story, so go now, worship her! LOL on a more serious note, I am so very grateful for this girl and the help she has given me, especially over the last few months. I will finish this story and write many more and it will be because of her. She's my angel from heaven. Yepsh.

Right enough with the mushy stuffs, I hope you are all happy and healthy. Oh and even though I'm almost a month late, happy new year! 2011 will be a life changer I feel.

I can't wait to read what you guys think. Review and I'll work at getting the next chapter up ASAP! If it's any motivation to you, I've already started it ;)


	64. Chapter 64

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Can Quinn convince Rachel not to leave her?

**Warning: **Cliches galore, sorry but there ya go LOL

******Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

**

* * *

**

It feels as though she's been punched in the stomach as she takes in the hurt pulsating in those eyes that she loves so much, "No, Quinn I do." She pauses as she tries to think of ways to make the blonde understand the many ways in which she's undeserving of her, how she will never be good enough for her, especially now.

"Then what Rach?" She can feel herself becoming angry; she knows how close she is to slipping into head bitch mode, how easy it would be to lash out with her scathing words. _No! I'm not that person anymore!_

"I'm not good enough."

"Excuse me?" her head feels as though it is going through a whip-lashingly fast rollercoaster as her anger vanishes and confusion steps in its place.

The starlet took a steadying breath, _I have to do what's fair to her, _"I have to do what's fair to you, Quinn and staying with you, no matter how much I really want to," she licks her lips nervously, _I can't believe I'm doing this,_ "it would be unbelievably selfish of me."

"Selfish?" Quinn stood so that she was standing practically toe-to-toe with Rachel, "I don't understand how you being with me is selfish."

"Because you deserve someone who's not afraid of being seen with you, someone who can hold your hand, someone who can give you the attention you deserve…"

"This is bullshit Rach!" Quinn knew that the tiny starlet wasn't being entirely truthful with her.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me this is bullshit!"

"I…I…" Rachel stood speechless, never had anyone called her bluff, especially in such a short space of time.

"Why don't you just say what you really want to say? It's just me!" Quinn could feel her frustration building and knew if Rachel didn't say something soon that she may end up doing something that could break them.

"Exactly! It's just you!" Rachel let her anger consume her, she wasn't entirely sure of why she was angry, especially with Quinn it seemed but it felt good.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" the blonde was beginning to lose control, she could feel her heart thumping hard within her chest, her cheeks flushing as she stopped trying to remain in control of her emotions. The fact of it all was every time Rachel opened her mouth Quinn felt like each word was a sucker punch.

"You're the same as everyone else," Rachel couldn't control herself, everything she had been keeping bottled up threatened to erupt from her lips in a volcanic rush of word vomit, "everyone treats me so differently. It's like you all think I'm going to break or something!"

"And that's why you're breaking up with me?" Quinn flailed her arms, her mind was racing, she didn't understand why Rachel was doing this and it cut her to the core. "Because I care about you? Because I worry about you?"

"I'm so tired Quinn," Rachel's voice resonated the edge of the sobs that threatened to shake her body, "I'm tired of everything. I'm tired of people treating me differently, looking at me with pity. I'm tired of lies. When we go back to school we're going to have to lie to everyone about us! I'm going to have to lie to her for the rest of my life about her," she gulped air, the next word feeling like a bitter pill lodged in her slender throat, "father. I can't lie about us as well."

"Then don't!" the blonde spat back in desperation.

"It's not that easy! I'm so tired, I can't deal with it," Rachel pleaded.

"No Rachel, you're not tired," Quinn could feel her strength coming back, she knew exactly what this was about, she knew this wasn't about her at all, "you're running away cos you're scared!"  
"Of course I'm scared!" The tiny brunette shouted, "I'm terrified Quinn, he did what he did because of…I can't go through that again, not for you, not for anyone," her words quietened as she tried to hold back her tears as she slumped her shoulders.

"No Rachel," Quinn took a step towards her, "that's not what you're afraid of, you're afraid of us. You're afraid of being happy. You're scared of being loved."

"I'm scared of losing you!" her voice returned to her with renewed strength, "are you happy now Quinn Fabray? I'm terrified of the day where you'll realise you don't want me, that I'm not good enough, that you deserve so much more than -"

Quinn's lips crashed against Rachel's, melding them together, she was at a loss to say, of how to convey how she felt with words. The blonde reluctantly pulled back and stared into the deep brown pools of the eyes that she had grown to love, willing Rachel to see the love in her own.

Rachel's mind reeled,she had felt something in that kiss that she hadn't felt before. She allowed her hand to snake around Quinn's neck, carefully guiding the blonde's face to her own so that she wouldn't have to tiptoe (not that easily done when you feel like the size of a house) and captured the other girls lips with her own. The kiss started out slow, a sensation they had become used to. Quinn almost broke away from the kiss out of shock when she felt Rachel's tongue on her lower lip, begging entrance, but she recovered quickly and granted access. Rachel's tongue was slow and cautious, as though she were afraid that one wrong move and she would cause the blonde pain. Quinn's tongue sought out Rachel's and revelled in the feel of their tongues touching. It takes only mere seconds before the two girls lose themselves in each other, their tongues dancing together to music that only they seem to know.

Rachel broke the kiss, taking a much-needed breath. _I REALLY shouldn't have done that. How am I supposed to leave her now? _

Quinn rested her forehead against the shorter girls, her lips brushing lightly against Rachel's nose as she whispered, "I love you."

"What?" Rachel wasn't sure she heard correctly.

"I love you Rach," Quinn pulled back and looked Rachel in the eyes, "I know you think that you're not good enough, but that's not true, you're more than good enough."

"I can't cope with all the lies my life is becoming Quinn," Rachel forced the words out of her mouth, it would be so easy just to fall back on the 'I love you' and ignore everything that had been playing on her mind but she couldn't, it would only be a matter of time before they started niggling away at her again.

"Then we won't lie," Quinn almost laughed at the disbelieving look she received from her girlfriend, "I mean it Rach, I'm not on about coming out to the entire school, even I'm not ready for that one but we could tell everyone in Glee club. You know they'll be nothing but happy for us. They'll have our backs."

"You really think that?"

"Yeah I do. Well…everyone except Finn," she admitted, reluctantly revealing the truth, "he wants you back."

"Oh…" Rachel chewed the inside of her lower lip, a nervous habit that she seemed to have developed ever since Karofsky had turned her world on its head, she locked her eyes with Quinn's, "I only want you."

Quinn's lips quirked into a smile that Rachel could've sworn was reserved only for her eyes as she draped her arms around the pregnant girls shoulders, "Good, cos I hate to tell you this but you're the only one I want too."

* * *

**Attention:** Hello to all! Please don't kill me for taking so long to write this LOL I am trying to write, it's just my head just doesn't seem to want to function and allow me to. Anyways I hope you enjoyed my massively cliched chapter LOL

Right so I has a question for you...

When Finn finds out about Quinn and Rachel will he...

a) Fly off the handle bars

b) Be depressed and sulk for a little while

c) Try to plot a way to steal Rachel from Quinn

d) Anyone else got any ideas? LOL

Anyways I will try to post again soon but like I said, head's not been in the right place. Hope everyone is happy and healthy.

Give a big thanks to my girl **Davis B.P** cos y'know, she puts up with me and my incoherent ramblings and listens to me put myself down about my writing and she's the one that tells me that it's not utter shite like I think it is and that I should post it - so yeah you guys really need to kiss up to her cos without her I'm pretty sure this story would be dead in the water right about now LOL love you baby girl, thank you for putting up with me when I'm in writing mode.


	65. Chapter 65

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Quinn and Rachel reveal their intentions to Santana, Artie, Puck and Mercedes.

**Warning: **Cliches galore, sorry but there ya go LOL

******Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

Rachel and Artie had been the first to arrive at the café that had become the pairs hang out spot for the summer and sat patiently waiting at a table towards the back.

"So Houdini are you going to tell me what all this is about?" Artie questioned pointlessly, he already knew he wasn't going to find out until everyone else had turned up.

"No," Rachel smiled, she had known he would ask even though he already knew the answer, "you'll just have to wait for everyone else to turn up."

"I know Quinn's coming but care to fill me on who everyone else is?"

"Puck, Mercedes and Santana."

Artie laughed, "Well…you sure do know how to be eclectic in everyone else."

Rachel rolled her eyes at her best friend, "Yeah well, I had to make up for being best friends with you somehow now didn't I?"

"Ouch," Artie grinned as he brought his hand to his brow and feigned hurt, "that wasn't very nice."

"You'll get over it," the young mother to be stuck her tongue out, "besides I still have to get you back for the leg incident at the barbeque!"

"You're still not letting that go?"

Rachel's gaze wandered to the doorway to find Puck, Quinn and Beth making their way towards their table and absent-mindedly answered, "Nope."

"Earth to Houdini," Artie waved his hand in front of Rachel's face.

"What?" Rachel couldn't help but laugh.

"Drool."

"Sup guys," Puck greeted as he maneuvered Beth's stroller so that she was out of the way before rummaging through his jacket pocket in search of his wallet.

"Hey," Quinn smiled.

"Hi," Rachel beamed, "sit?" she indicated the seat beside her.

"I will in a minute," the blonde replied, "I was gonna go grab a drink first, did you guys want anything?"

"I'm good," Artie indicated his cooling cup of coffee in front of him.

"Rach?"

She would never admit to pregnancy cravings to other people but that didn't mean she never had them, "A strawberry and banana smoothie if they have them please." Ok even she knew that wasn't an out of this would ew craving but she still craved it.

"Sure, keep an eye on Beth?" she knew she didn't even have to ask but still she did.

"We'll watch her," Artie promised.

"Be right back," Puck said although it was more to his daughter than either of his friends.

"Looks like we're just missing one more," Artie stated, pointing a finger towards the entrance where Santana walked through and proceeded to join Puck and Quinn in the queue.

"Do you think it's weird?" Rachel asked.

"That depend on what 'it' is Houdini."

"This. Us." Rachel paused as she sought for the exact words to convey what she truly meant before giving in and settling for "Everything."

Artie sat patiently, he noticed Mercedes join the others in the queue, but still he waited, he knew there was more to what his best friend was trying to say.

"I mean," she absent mindedly rested her hands across her swollen stomach, "do you think it's weird that this is where we've ended up?"

"I'm not quite sure I follow Houdini."

"I just never thought I'd find myself about to start my last year of high school with friends" she answered meekly hoping that Artie would understand what she meant.

"It's weird," he nodded before flashing a grin, "but in a good way."

"Life certainly has a way of surprising us."

"Who's surprising us?" Mercedes chirped up as she pulled a chair out.

"Oh…no one" Rachel answered slightly embarrassed.

"Life," Artie supplied after receiving a thoroughly confused look from the groups soulful diva.

"Ah right, gotcha."

Quinn, Puck and Santana returned with a tray full of drinks and sat themselves down.

"Sit and spin," the Latina greeted before handing him a cup of coffee.

"I didn't order this," Artie said his voice ladled with confusion.

"I know," Santana shrugged, "you're welcome."

"S," Quinn warned, "play nice."

"Is he wearing the coffee?" Santana shot back playfully.

"Good point," the blonde laughed.

"So," Mercedes spoke, "not that it's not great to see you all cos it is but I'm guessing there's a reason for this little meeting of ours."

"There is…" Quinn spoke carefully, watching Rachel to see if this is what her girl really wanted.

"Your assumption is correct Mercedes," Rachel spoke carefully, "as you all know Quinn and I are together."

"Well duh Berry," Santana smirked before putting her hands up in apology after receiving a glare from her former Cheerio captain.

"Not trying to get myself in trouble here," Puck glanced at Quinn, "but Santana's right Rachel, it's not hard to miss once you know bout it."

"Which is exactly why you're all here," the tiny brunette wrung her hands nervously, was she sure she was ready for this?

Quinn noticed her girlfriends nervousness and placed her hand atop of the olive skinned fingers before lacing hers through them. She carefully maneuvered herself so that her mouth was closer to Rachel's face and whispered, "You don't have to do this, it's ok."

"No," Rachel spoke quietly but firmly, "I…I want to do this."

"Take your time Houdini, none of us are off in a hurry."

"Yeah Rae," Mercedes agreed, "you got us for as long as you need us."

"Thank you," the tiny diva couldn't help but smile, she could feel the love that her friends had for her. _It's funny how life turns out. _"Well, Quinn and I have been talking…" she glanced nervously at Quinn and the expectant faces, "and while we're in no way ready or suggesting that we announce our relationship to the rest of the school, we'd like to tell the other members of Glee club."

"You sure bout this guys?" Puck asked, his voice tainted with apprehension.

"Yeah, I'm with Puck on this one," Mercedes agreed, "I mean…Finn'll flip his lid won't he?"

"Let him," Santana added, "he decides to be an ass then I'll kick his."

"After me, your first," Artie directed at Satana.

"While I'm overwhelmed by your protectiveness, there will no kicking of anyone's ass unless it is truly warrented."

Quinn smiled, "Trust you to use that many words just to say no ass kicking."

"You guys sure about this?" Artie asked pointedly, he knew that Quinn and Rachel were pretty solid, he had seen how much Rachel had changed over the past months, how she was so much stronger than any of them had imagined but he also knew what Karofsky had said to her. _Could she handle it if someone rejected her because of this? If Finn were to fly off the handle?_

Quinn looked at Rachel and noticed the determination in her stars eyes before she nodded, "Yes, we are."

"Well you know I've got your backs," Puck offered a smile.

"Me too," Santana agreed.

"Not even a question," Artie nodded.

"Same here," Mercedes joined, but she couldn't help but wonder, "but outta curiousity, what's sparked this?"

"You wanna take this one?" The blonde asked her counterpart.

"Sure," Rachel deliberated a moment, thinking of all the possible explanations she could as she glanced at each of her friends. She thought about the ways in which her relationship with her fathers had changed, how she was beginning to regain the honesty that she had once had with them, she remember the words Santana had spat at Jesse. "Family shouldn't lie to each other," she said simply.

Santana smiled inwardly, "So when's this announcement gonna take place?"

"Well, we have two weekends left before school," Quinn said.

"I was thinking that perhaps we could have another barbeque at mine," Rachel suggested.

"Sounds good to me Rae."

"If it helps any, I'm free this weekend but I'm working next one," Puck supplied.

"So this weekend it is?" Artie asked.

"Agreed," Rachel nodded, satisfied that things were being set in motion.

"Guess it's time to round up the troops," spoke Mercedes.

Artie began to laugh.

"What's so funny sit and spin?"

"Nothing," Artie forced his words between giggles, "it's just this is actually kind of a relief."

"Why?" Rachel asked, confusion filling her features.

"Cos Tina is paranoid I'm gonna leave her for you," he couldn't control it anymore, he let his laughter consume him.

The rest of the group joined in.

"Guess it's not that obvious after all huh?" Quinn threw at Puck.

"No," he laughed, "I guess not."

* * *

**Attention:** Hello to all! Sorry it's taken me so long to write this chapter. I promise that I'll try and be more frequent with posting chapters, my life's been a bit hectic since December LOL thank you to all of those who have stuck with me since the beginning and to those of you new to this story - WELCOME!

Right so the question still remains

When Finn finds out about Quinn and Rachel will he...

a) Fly off the handle bars

b) Be depressed and sulk for a little while

c) Try to plot a way to steal Rachel from Quinn

d) Anyone else got any ideas? LOL

I'm leaning to flying off the handle bars personally. If this is the route I take, who will be the person to snap at Finn and put him in his place?

a) Quinn

b) Puck

c) Santana

d) Mercedes

e) Artie

f) Rachel

I will do my best to try and write the next chapter in the next week or so but writing is a bit difficult at the moment cos I live in a house of constant interuption LOL Hope everyone is happy and healthy.

Once again I say go give thanks to my girl, **Davis B.P.** If it weren't for her, well there wouldn't be a me for this story to be written. You should also check out her story What Is This Feeling? it's pretty awesome! Well...what are you waiting for? Get going and give her love! LOL


	66. Chapter 66

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Finally the moment you've all been waiting for...Rachel and Quinn 'come out' to the rest of the Glee club...how will Finn react and who will surprise the group?

**Warning: **Cliches galore, sorry but there ya go LOL

******Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

The Berry's backyard was thrumming, music radiated from the house whilst laughter and chatter filled the garden. Flavours tainted the air as smoke wafted from the barbeque that Leroy had yet again found himself in charge of. Hiram was chatting with Judy, who had agreed to come support her daughter, in the kitchen as they prepared the salad. The Glee club were scattered through the Berry residence. The vast majority were in the backyard, but two members were missing.

"S," Puck half-yelled over the noise to be heard, "c'mere."

"Do I look like a dog to you?" Santana snapped, no one told her what to do, if they wanted her they came to her, that's how it worked.

"Oh chill ya beans," he rolled his eyes.

Santana just glared at him.

"Jeez, what crawled up your ass?"

The Latina sighed, "What do you want Puckerman?"

"I was just gonna ask if you could watch Beth for a minute."

"Yay!" Brittany bounced next to Santana, "Hi Beth!"

"Fine," Santana couldn't resist making the ditzy blonde beside her happy, "I'll keep an eye on Beth, but don't be too long," she said the last part pointedly.

"Thanks," Puck handed his squirming daughter to the pair of Cheerios, "watch her, she's still trying to run before she walk," he laughed lovingly.

"Yeah, yeah" Santana muttered, "just go already so you can get back."

Puck left reluctantly, he didn't like that Santana was in a pissy mood, "Hey Mr. B," he stopped where Leroy was slaving away at the barbeque, "could you just keep an eye out on Beth."

"Sure," Leroy smiled, "but the girls look like they've got it covered."

"I know, it's just Santana seems a bit pissy."

"Ok," Leroy couldn't help but smile, he'd remembered the countless times he and Hiram had fretted about leaving their little girl with someone in a bad mood, "I'll keep checking on them."

"Thanks," the young father smiled, "I don't suppose you know where Rach and Q are do you?"

"Last I saw they were headed inside, maybe they're in the kitchen with Hiram and Judy."

"Thanks," and with that Puck made his way into the house. Stopping at the kitchen to check if the two missing girls were there before quickly and quietly moving onto the lounge. _Well, well…_ he smiled to himself.

Quinn was the first to break away from the kiss, her hands still entwined with her girlfriends, "You don't have to do this you know?"

"I know," Rachel gently squeezed the hands attached to her own, "I want to. I want to be with you Quinn."

"I know that Rach, I just…"

"I know, but I don't want to lie anymore," the now rather heavily pregnant starlet uttered, before pressing her lips to the slightly rosed pair before her.

_I should probably say something, I shouldn't spy on them like this, it's not fair._ "Ahem…" Puck cleared his throat, announcing his presence, "don't stop on my account," he grinned devilishly.

"God!" Rachel squealed as she sprang apart from Quinn as though she was being thrown off by some electrical charge.

"Chill Rach," he couldn't help but smile, "it's just me."

"Puck," Quinn tried to give him her trademark glare but instead ended up with one eyebrow quirked and a smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth, "one of these days I am actually gonna kill you, you do realise this right?"

"So you keep saying Q," Puck laughed, "I'll believe it when it happens."

"Wait…" the blonde's face morphed from joking to serious, "where the Hell is Beth?"

"She's with Santana and Brittany."

"Are you nuts? Have you spent anytime with S today?"

"Quinn, chill! I asked Leroy to keep and eye on them, it's ok."

"Sorry to interrupt," Rachel interjected, saving Puck from a tongue lashing from the blonde beside her, "but why are you here Puck?"

"Erm…same reason everyone is? You invited me, remember?"

"Stop being a smartass," Quinn fired.

Puck rolled his eyes, _Apparently today is the day I piss off all women…great! _"I just wanted to come check on you guys," he shrugged, "make sure you're ok and all that."

Rachel couldn't help but smile at the concern her friend was showing her, "We're ok Noah."

"Are you guys still gonna go ahead with…"

The smaller of the girls nodded her head, "We are," she glanced a look at the blonde beside her who nodded in reassurance.

"Ok good, I erm…"

"Puck?" Quinn noticed that there was something wrong, the way he was moving, the way his hands were stuffed in his pockets and his shoulders were slouched. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"I don't want you to worry and I'm not trying to freak you out or whatever…" his words were slow and reluctant, _I don't wanna scare Rachel._

"Whatever it is," Rachel's voice was strong and reassuring, she wasn't sure how it was but she knew that's what Puck needed from her, "you can tell us."

"It's Finn."

_Oh God, _Quinn was suddenly gripped by a wave of apprehension, _we're not gonna be able to do this._

"What about him Noah?"

"I gave him a ride here, the entire time he was talking about you Rachel," he tried to hide the sadness in voice, he knew that the way his best friend acted around the Glee clubs starlet now terrified her and he knew that what he was about to reveal wasn't going to help. "He's got his mind set that he can win you back, he seems to think that you guys split cos of…" he shuffled awkwardly, he had never spoken with Rachel about what she had endured, "what happened. I don't think he's gonna take this well when you guys tell everyone. I'm not saying you shouldn't tell them, I think it's great that you want to and I got your backs 110% but I just wanted you to know that he's probably gonna flip."

"Thank you," Rachel offered the nervous boy in front of her a smile, "I'm glad you told me."

"You're ok?" he asked softly.

"I'm ok," she laced her fingers with the slender ones beside her, "I realise that Finn isn't going to be happy with the news of mine and Quinn's relationship but the fact of the matter is she makes me happy, she's the best thing that's happened to me since all of this," she waved her free hand across her incredibly large midsection, "happened. I'm not gonna break."

Quinn gently squeezed the fingers that had entwined with her own, pride filling her. _She's so much stronger than any of us give her credit for. She's come so far since all of this started. I'm so lucky to be a part of her life. _

"I know Rach," Puck smiled softly before laughing, "you're a bad ass."

"I wouldn't go that far Noah."

"I think you should go back and check on our daughter, don't you?" Quinn said pointedly.

"Message received!" Puck mock saluted before turning to leave, throwing over his shoulder, "Don't spend too long making out, people are beginning to question where the hell you guys are."

"He's right," Rachel spoke, "we should probably go join everyone else. It's rather rude of me to invite them all here and then to not be with them."

"Rae…"

"I still want to do this Quinn."

"Are you sure? What about Finn?"

"What about him?"

"You heard what Puck said, he's gonna be pissed as hell."

"Are you with me on this?"

"What?" the blondes brow crinkled in confusion.

"Are you with me on this?"

"Of course I am, all the way."

"Then let Finn flip out."

"You're absolutely sure about this?"

Rachel chewed nervously on her lower lip, "I am."

"Really?" Quinn's own nerves amplified as she picked up on her girlfriends.

"Not really," Rachel laughed, "the only thing I'm sure about is that I want to be with you and with school right around the corner and then the baby…Glee is gonna be one of the few times we get to be together without having to worry about looking after someone else, Glee's always been a safe place for everyone, no one has ever had to hide…why should we?"

Quinn lent forward and placed a chaste kiss on the lips below hers, "I love you."

Rachel smiled, "Shall we go do this then?"

"Yeah."  
The pair left the lounge, their fingers still intertwined as they made their way to the kitchen.

"Hi girls," Hiram smiled.

"Come to help out?" Judy asked.

"Not yet," Rachel replied, "soon."

"You ok girls? You seem a little…distracted," Hiram noticed the way the girls seemed to be both focused on something, they were there but not there.

Quinn was the first one to return their focus to the job at hand, "Everything's fine."

"Quinnie…"

"I'm ok mom," she smiled, still not quite used to the caring, compassionate side of her mother that she was now being shown on a day to day basis.

"It's time," Rachel said simply, solving all questions.

"Ok," Hiram stopped what he was doing, "we're here," he smiled at the girls.

"We really are," Judy agreed, drying her hands on the dishtowel that had been left ignored on the side.

Hiram watched the two girls carefully, his eyes scrutinizing his daughter as he tried to fathom out whether she was truly prepared and ready to go through with what she was about to do. "We'll go and let your daddy know sweetheart," he said as he walked over to the girls and gently kissed his daughters cheek adding with a whisper, "you'll be ok baby, me and daddy are here ok?"

Rachel let go of her girlfriends hand and wrapped her arms around her fathers neck, "Thank you dad."

"You ok huni?" Judy asked her youngest daughter.

"I'm ok mom, really," she glanced a look at Rachel, "we'll be out right after you ok?"

Judy nodded, "Ok sweetheart, try not to worry so much ok? Everything will be fine, I know it will." She cupped her daughters cheek with her palm before leaving for the backyard, Hiram not far behind her.

The girls watched as their parents left to inform the missing parent that now was the time their support was going to be needed the most.

"You're really sure about this?" Quinn asked as she turned to face Rachel, never letting go of her hand.

"Yes," Rachel's eyes locked with the hazel orbs of Quinn's, the love she had for the blonde showing clearly in her own pools of chocolate, "it's now or never."

"You nervous?"

"This so much more than stage fright," the tiny brunette chuckled, her nerves cracking through, "are you?"

"Ridiculously."

"We can do this," a tan thumb traced the pale skin of the edge of the palm attached to her own, "nothing's going to change us."

"I know," Quinn smiled softly.

"Quinn?"

"Yeah sweetie?"  
"I'm a little scared…"

The young mother used her free hand to tuck a stray lock of her behind a delicate tan ear, "Me too," she whispered and gently kissed the other girls cheek.

"Ok…good. Well, I mean not good because I don't like that you're scared but good that I'm not the only one that is and I feel we should go do this now because apparently I'm turning into a incoherent babbler."

"It's ok, you're cute when you babble."

"It's not cute!" Rachel pouted.

"It's kinda cute," Quinn started directing them towards the door leading to the garden.

"Is not."

The blonde laughed, "What are you? Five?"

Rachel stopped nervously by the door, "We're really gonna do this?"

"We're really gonna do this."

"You're with me?"

"I'm with you completely," she gave the hand laced with her own a reassuring squeeze, "besides, I'm Quinn Fabray, no one messes with me…or my girl."

"Really?" Rachel asked hopefully.

"Really."

The soon-to-be mother took a deep breath, her face setting in determination, "Let's do this then."

The pair walked out into the garden hand-in-hand, their eyes taking in the people that made up their friends and more importantly their family.

Puck noticed the two girls that were his family, regardless of Glee club, they were his girls, them and Beth whom he walked over and handed to Judy.

Santana shot a raised eyebrow at Quinn before nodding in understanding that now was the time. _Here we go._

Mercedes glanced around to see where Finn was standing,_ He's too close._

Artie watched carefully, aware of how much his best friend was risking. He also knew that he was so incredibly proud of the strength she kept surprising them with.

Judy stood with Hiram and Leroy with Beth in her arms, all three adults anticipating the multiple scenarios that could play out once the news of the girls relationship had gone public with the rest of the group.

"Everyone," Rachel's voice was shaky, she couldn't quite get the volume she needed to grab everyone's attention over the chatter of the remaining Glee club members that were currently aware of the impending announcement.

"Hey!" Quinn shouted, effectively silencing the group that now held all eyes on the unlikely couple.

All eyes were trained on the pair that to the casual observer where the physical embodiment of yin and yang. The eyes belonging to those who knew what was about to come were filled with apprehension, tension and plans of interception should they need it. The rest were filled with expectation, Quinn had grabbed their attention, it'd better be good, Quinn Fabray no longer shouted the odds just because she was Quinn Fabray – if she shouted, it was because she meant something. Expectation began to mingle with furrowed brows of confusion as the slightly more observant members of the group noticed the ways Rachel and Quinn's hands were laced, the way their palms meddled in a way that friends didn't really hold hands.

"Rachel and I…" the nervous blonde tried to clear her throat of the sudden rock that had seemed to situate itself in her voice box, "we have something we want to say…" she glanced anxiously at the girl beside her, worry filling her to the core that they would receive the negative reactions that Rachel would connect to the reasons Karofsky had given as reason for violating her.

"It's ok," Rachel soothed her thumb once again tracing the skin of the hand attached to her own and found herself feeling oddly confident. Knowing that Quinn was just as nervous about 'coming out' to the rest of the group soothed her. _She's really in this with me. _"I know a lot of you have spent most of this year worrying about me, about how to act around me…" she scanned the faces in front of her, all ears hanging on every word that left her lips, "and I want to thank you for being there for me. This year has been…well, I guess difficult doesn't really cover it does it?" she laughed nervously, a few of the others chuckling along with her. "You've all been so supportive of me and I am so very beyond grateful for it. For the first time in my life I have real friends and…it's overwhelming, but I…we need to ask for your support in something that I don't think anyone would ever believe could happen." She took a steadying breath realizing that now she had started there was no turning back. _It's now or never_ she repeated to herself over and over again.

Santana appeared at Rachel's side, no one even noticed that she had moved from where she had originally been stood with Brittany. "I've got your back Berry," she uttered reassuringly.

Quinn turned to look at her best friend, thankful that even now after all the years they'd known each other, after the many fights over ridiculous things they'd had, the Latina was still in her corner.

Rachel nodded, more to herself than anyone else, _This is it then, _she swallowed back the ball of nervous bile burning back of her throat and managed to forced out the words she wanted to say, "Quinn and I are together."

The backyard was silent as each and every member digested everything the star of Glee club had said, the newly outed couple stood nervously, awaiting the verdict from the jury of their peers. Kurt was the first to break the silence as he started to laugh uncontrollably.

"Something funny Hummel?" Santana spat, she needed someone to give her an excuse to take her bad mood out on him or her.

"I'm sorry," he tried to suppress the giggles burbling in his throat, "it's just…Quinn? I mean really how believable is that? I mean as far as jokes go this is pretty damn funny. We are on about Quinn Fabray here after all" he said triumphantly, "the girl's so straight she's practically a ruler."

"I never thought you'd be one to judge a book by it's cover Kurt," Rachel questioned defiantly.

"Kurt's got a point," Finn joined in, a grin on his face, fully believing that the entire thing was a joke "she's too rigid."

"Really Finn? You of all people are saying I'm too rigid?" Quinn could feel her inner head bitch beginning to resurface, "Was I too rigid when I was the president of the celibacy club that got herself pregnant?"

"I…" his face contorted as he disgested what was really going on, his eyes finally taking in the linked hands, the act of togetherness shared between the former enemies, "no! You're joking! It has to be a joke. You ARE joking aren't you, Rachel?"

"Finn…" Rachel tried to find the words to convey how sorry she was that she had inadvertently broken his heart in the process of beginning to rebuild her own, "I'm happy."  
"Happy? You're happy?" Finn began to shout, "Well that's fucking fantastic! What about me? You were supposed to be with me!"

"Dude," Puck placed a hand on his best friends shoulder, "you need to calm down…"

"Calm down?" he turned and shoved the arm belonging to Puck away, "You calm the fuck down! You were right, this club really is homoexplosion!"

"Hey!" Kurt shouted, "That's uncalled for!"

"Finn," Quinn's voice was thick with warning, "I know you're not happy about this but-"

Her words were cut short as he finally erupted like a volcano, instead of spewing molten magma he spewed acidic words, "You! It's you! You're just out to ruin my whole fucking life aren't you?"

"Finn!" Rachel yelled out, but couldn't get through to the angry teen.

"What fucking my best friend and having his bastard child wasn't enough? You had to turn my girlfriend into a dyke as well?"

Santana started towards the quarter back, "You son of a bitch…" but was cut off by the blur of the short dark haired starlet.

"Enough!" Rachel's palm connected with the skin of his cheek hard enough to leave an instant fire spreading across the valleys of her skin, her ring biting into her skin as it ripped into the supple flesh of the boys face. Her breathing was ragged, she was consumed with the fiery passion of pure anger, the anger she wished she had had with her that day in the alleyway with Karofsky, "Get out of my house!"

"Rachel...I…" Finn floundered as he tried to repair the damage he had just caused, he had every intention of hurting Quinn but Rachel? He loved her, he loved her so much that he couldn't let her be with someone else, after all they belonged together or so he thought.

"Get out," her voice was hoarse with the threat of angry tears, "I will not tolerate anyone who is homophobic."  
"Rachel, I didn't mean you, I meant…"  
"I don't care what you meant Finn!" she screamed, "Do you think I don't know what you meant? You think I don't recognize that hate in your eyes? I won't have it! GET. OUT!"

Leroy walked over to Finn and took him by the elbow, "It's time for you to go…" his words continued as he dragged the gangly teen out of his backyard, through the house and hauled him out on his ass.

The garden stood in silence, of all the people to put Finn in his place, no one would have ever expected it to be Rachel. Well, maybe the old Rachel, the one who was abrasive and annoying, talked too much and was far too opinionated, but not the Rachel she was now.

"You ok?" Santana asked carefully.

"I…" Rachel looked at all the faces in front of her, her anger slowly begin to die down to a low boil, before turning to the blonde beside her, "I'm sorry Quinn, I shouldn't have done that…I don't know what I was thinking, I just…Puck warned us that he'd flip, no one thought to warn me that I would too and I'm just…I'm sor-"

Quinn silenced Rachel's barrage of words with a kiss before pulling back and resting her forehead against the slightly shorter girl in front of her, "You're amazing."

"Wow…you really weren't kidding," Kurt said in disbelief, "my gaydar sucks!"

Artie rolled up to the two girls, "May I cut in?"

Quinn couldn't help but laugh, only Artie would treat this as though it were a dance, she was thankful for the laughter it helped to release the tension that was currently tie knots in her shoulders, "Sure?"

"Have a seat Houdini," he tapped his knees, Rachel all to eagerly willing to accept a hug from her best friend, "yeah…I figured you could do with one of these."

"Thank you," Rachel whispered, "I really do, after all you do give the best cuddles around."

"Your damn right I do," he beamed, before letting his mischievous side re-emerge, if he knew Rachel he knew she needed to laugh more than anyone right now, well with the exception of maybe Quinn, "there's just one thing I gotta do."

"What's that?" the stressed out mother-to-be asked cautiously.

"This," he wrapped his arms Rachel, engulfing her in the biggest hug possible before half-shouting, "see Tina? No affair going on here, I've tried and tried," he laughed, "but I'm just not her type."

* * *

**Attention:** Hello all! Yes, you can believe it! An update that you haven't had to wait months for LOL

I hope you all enjoyed it? Are we happy to see a bit of the old Rachel Berry we know and love returning?

So I'm still in the process of forming what's gonna happen in the next chapter but at the moment I have no friggin' clue LOL so you may have to wait a while until I can figure it out myself, which means there's no questions for the next chapter. Having said this...I'm still clueless as to what Rachel will name her daughter so please fire away suggestions and if you know the meaning behind the name even better!

A big thank you to **Davis B.P** and **chunkmunk09** for all the help they both gave me with this chapter, I couldn't have done it without you girls! So yeah, go give them both lots of love and while you're at it...check out **Davis B.P**'s awesome story **What Is This Feeling?** you have your orders! Fly my pretties, fly! LMAO


	67. Chapter 67

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **An intimate moment for Quinn and Rachel...I hope it's ok, I've written it a little differently from previous chapters.

**Warning: **Cliches galore, sorry but there ya go LOL

******Disclaimer:** I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.

* * *

If someone had told Quinn Fabray that by the time she reached her senior year of high school that not only would she be a mother to a beautiful daughter and would find herself having a serious relationship with another girl and that that girl would be Rachel Berry she would never have believed them in a million years and yet here she was. In Rachel Berry's bedroom, on Rachel Berry's bed, making out with…yes you've guessed it, Rachel Berry. If it weren't for the fact that the blonde was enjoying making out with her girlfriend she would laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. This was most certainly not how she had envisioned her high school life playing out.

Tongues danced, teeth grazed swollen lips, hands cautiously explored bodies.

To say that this had been a weird year for Rachel Berry would be the understatement of the century. No one, not even her with her meticulous planning, could have anticipated the events that led her up to now. Absolutely none of this fitted into her ten year plan. She was going to finish high school by helping New Directions to win National's and then head off to New York to study at Julliard and relentlessly pursue her inevitable rise to stardom on Broadway. She had even allowed room in her ten year plan for a whirlwind romance with the male lead of whatever production she was headlining. Rachel Berry had it all figured out. Except…now she didn't. Her ten year plan seemed a distant childish memory. Her ten year plan was no longer of any use to her, her reality saw to that. In a weeks time she would be embarking on her senior year at McKinley, and while the possibility of winning Nationals was still there, she no longer craved it the way she used to.

Strands of gold and jet get pushed out of the way, eyelids rest peacefully, breath mingles.

Neither girl could have anticipated this, they couldn't have planned it, it just…happened. The funny thing about this though, neither girl regrets it. The only regret they share in regards to their relationship is that it took a tragedy to bring them together. Quinn likes to think that if it weren't for the unfortunate events that Rachel was forced to endure, that if none of that had ever happened, that she would've found the courage to approach the starlet and give her the apology that was long overdue. Rachel likes to think that Quinn would've seen her, been her friend, despite the obstacles they had faced during that first year of Glee club. Each girl wishes they had made it under their own steam, that the horrific events they had been through had not acted as a catalyst for their relationship.

Fingers trace jawlines, breathing becomes ragged, fire begins to burn.

Despite everything, all the things that had happened, all the things they wished could've been done differently, both girls were sure of one thing – they were in love. They never saw it coming, they can't explain it to anyone, it's just that way it is. They see things in each other that no one else sees, no one else could see. They knew that being together would prove to be hard at times and not because they had children or would soon have children, but because of the rest of the world. Not everyone would be as accepting of them and their relationship the way their friends and family have been. They've seen first hand the hate that exists in the world towards their relationship, Rachel found herself in her pregnant state because of this hate, even Finn had shown them that people would reject them. No matter how hard things were going to be they both believed that what they had was worth it.

Teeth tug at a swollen lower lip, want and desires which neither knew they had begin to conjure up ideas in their heads, a tan hand traces circles on the pale flesh that's been exposed from a shirt riding up.

"Rach," Quinn breaks off the kiss, her chest heaving as she sucks in the cool air and lets it fill her lungs, "we should…"

"Stop," Rachel finished, blush creeping up her neck and flushing her cheeks. "You're right we should…"

"Stop," The ex-cheerio smiles.

The tiny brunette isn't sure whether it's the extra dose of hormones courtesy of her pregnancy flowing through her veins or what she's feeling is part of teen sexuality as she once put it, but she finds herself latching her lips to the ones in front of her.

Quinn returns the kiss, she knows she should stop this. She's almost certain that Rachel's actions are all apart of the fun that is pregnancy hormones. She feels her girlfriends tongue tracing the slight parting of her lips, begging permission, and she can't resist the urge to continue with their dance. _I should stop this, I won't take advantage of her._ She breaks away once more, wishing that she could continue but knowing that it'd be wrong.

"Hey," Rachel tucks a fallen strand of gold behind an ear, her hand lightly crazing a hot cheek, "what's wrong? Where are you?"

"I'm right here sweetie, I'm with you," she smiles, trying to reassure the girl she loves.

"Then what…" she leaves the question open, unsure of what it is she's really trying to ask.

Quinn places a chaste kiss on the lips that look ready to pout, "I don't want to rush…anything. I just want to take things slow, I want to wait til we're both ready."

"You mean when I'm not so screwed up over what happened," her voice oozes sorrow as she voices her fear.

"What? Sweetie, no. That's not it at all. I just mean…I promised to take things slow, and I intend to keep that promise. Besides, it just means we get to enjoy everything that little bit longer because we're not rushing."

Rachel knew that her girlfriend was right, and she was thankful that the blonde was being so patient with her when she could easily take advantage. "Quinn I…thank you."

"So…" she propped herself up on her elbows, "we stop for now and the question becomes, what do you want to do now?" she laughed.

"I don't honestly know," the dark haired diva rolled onto her back, content with just having her blonde counterpart beside her, "I want to do whatever you want to do."

"Ok, now that's cheating!" Quinn grinned.

"You know what I mean Quinn," Rachel's voice suddenly became serious, "I'm happy doing whatever so long as I get to do it with you, I feel like I'm hardly going to get to see you this week."

"Yeah, this week is kinda hectic for both of us."

"It's the last week before school starts, I was hoping I'd get to spend more time together as just us." Rachel sighed, "But all the girl's are here tomorrow so that means I've got to share you. Then I'm seeing Artie on Wednesday, you're with Santana Thursday. I'm seeing Shelby again on Saturday and then Puck wants to spend some time with his girls before school starts which I completely understand but I can't say that I'm thrilled at the idea of you being someone else's girl."

"Rach?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up," she uttered before turning and lowering herself so that her face was just a few centimetres above Rachel's. "I'm your girl," she gently brings her lips to the ones below her, "only your girl."

Rachel can feel the hormonal urge to continue kissing the soft lips on hers but she knows she should stop, she's not ready for this (despite what her body was telling her) and this time she's the one that breaks away. "Sorry," her cheeks ting red, "if I don't stop…I'm not sure I'll be able to."

"That's ok," Quinn smiled softly, "why don't we go downstairs and cuddle on the couch and watch a film til your dads get home?"

"You sure you don't want to do anything more…" she chewed on her lower lip as she searched for the right word, "productive?"

Quinn pressed her lips to Rachel's forehead, revelling in being able to share such intimate moments with the girl, "I can't think of anything that I would enjoy more than getting to chill with my girl."

Rachel broke out into a grin, her eyes lighting up, "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, but this time I get to pick the film."

The blonde laughed, "Sure."

* * *

**Attention:** Howdi doodle! So I was meant to post this two days ago but kept getting distracted by crafty things LOL oops! Sorry bout that, but at least you've not had to wait a couple of months for an update.

So what did you all make of Quinn and Rachel's intimate moment? Any good? More in the future?

OK so I have some questions for you. School is fast approaching and I need some input on what's gonna happen once they're all back at school. So here's the questions for you...

1) Should Finn leave Glee? (Sorry...as much as he bugs me I'm not gonna kill him off so please don't ask)

2) Should Matt leave McKinley? (Yeah I know he left for the year that I've written but I don't really use him so I could still get rid of him)

3) Will Sam transfer to McKinley and join Glee?

4) I'm still undecided on how Rachel and Shelby's relationship is gonna play out - should it go ok and Rachel finally get the mom she was missing or should they realise that perhaps it really is too late for them despite their efforts to try and make it work, too much water has passed and all that jazz.

5) I'm still open for suggestions on baby names (ok not really a question but I thought I'd throw that one out there again)

And just so people don't start asking, I will NOT be introducing Lauren or Blaine. Lauren cos her character really pisses me off and Blaine cos well...Kurt's not gonna be going to Dalton and I find him to be rather bland.

A big thank you to **Davis B.P** and **chunkmunk09** for helping me with this chapter, as always I do really appreciate you girls being my little guinea pigs before I post LOL

I don't know if there will be another update before I go away next month (fingers crossed) to see the beautiful and amazing **Davis B.P** but I will promise you that I'll try and write at least one more chapter before I bugger off.

A big thank you to everyone who reads this story, means a lot to me that people are enjoying something I've written. And an extra big thank you to everyone who reviews this for me, keeps me motivated to keep on writing this story. So yeah thank you everyone!


	68. Chapter 68

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **It's the last week before the return to school.

**Warning: **Some sickly sweet moments are sure to follow through the last week before school chapters LOL

**Disclaimer: I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.**

** Tuesday**

Santana and Brittany stood waiting patiently at the Berry's front door, they were already late after an impromptu make out session, if it weren't for a text from Quinn asking where the hell they were then they'd be doing more than just making out. _Fucking perfect timing Q, _Santana fumed quietly to herself, _she'll hear about this on Thursday!_ The front door to the Berry household opened, a chorus of laughter floating from the back garden funneling through the house alerting the pair of Cheerios that everyone else had arrived.

"You took your sweet time," Quinn grinned mischievously as greeting.

"Fuck off!" Santana smirked back, "So what, are you living here now? Or you just here enough to be able to answer the front door?"

"Hi Q," Brittany beamed happily.

"Hey Britt," the blonde stepped aside to let her friends into the house before shutting the door, "everyone's out back."

"Ok," Brittany smiled before quite literally bouncing towards the sound of laughter.

Santana couldn't help but smile as she watched her blonde counterpart hurry off to join the others, "So Q," she rounded on her best friend, "you ever gonna answer my question? How comes you answered the door?"

"Leroy and Hiram don't finish work for a few more hours and Rach is comfortable where she is, I didn't wanna make her get up just to answer the door when I knew it was you and B."

"Alright, I'll let you have that one."

The pair of friends walked through the house and stopped in the doorway to the garden.

Rachel was half sat, half lying down in the sun lounger, Mercedes sat beside her in one of the garden chairs, drinks were littered across the wooden table, Tina sat talking animatedly with the other girls about working nearly the entire summer and Brittany had perched herself on the end of Rachel's lounger.

Quinn smiled to herself as she looked at the girl she had fallen in love with.

Santana gave Quinn a gentle nudge in the ribs, before quietly asking, "How's she doing?"

"Depends on the day."

"She's stronger than she looks Q."

"I know, it's just..." she sighed, "I worry about her, you know? She's been through so much and she's still got so much more to go through. I just, I wish I could make it all easier for her."

"I know you do."

The pair were disturbed from their troubled thoughts concerning the tiny brunette that they had both unexpectedly come to care so much about by a high pitched squeal of delight.

"San!" Brittany called, "You've got to come here."

Santana and Quinn couldn't help but laugh as they made their way over to join their friends.

"What is it B?"

"Rachel said the baby is kicking and she's going to let me feel!" the dizzy blonde giggled eagerly.

Quinn gave Rachel a concerned look, one eyebrow raised with the silent question of 'you sure about this?'

Rachel nodded as she carefully lifted her shirt up exposing her what seemed to be constantly expanding stomach. She reached a hand towards Brittany, "Give me your hand". With Brittany's hand within her own, Rachel used her free hand to roam the skin of her bump, "Right..." she guided Brittany's hand to the spot she'd just located, "here".

Brittany stared expectantly, "Nothing's happening," she pouted.

"Wait for it," Rachel giggled, she knew that a kick was about to be delivered, she could feel the flutter of movement in her stomach leading up to it.

Brittany retracted her hand as if she'd just received and electric shock, "Oh my God!"

The group of girls burst into laughter.

"You ok there Brittany?" Tina managed to say between laughs.

"San, San! You've got to feel this!"

"I don't know B," Santana said apprehensively.

"It's ok," Rachel promised, "you can feel, if you want?"

Santana gave a cautious look towards Quinn as if silently begging permission.

"What's up S? You're not scared of an unborn baby kicking your ass are you?" Quinn smirked.

"Watch it Fabray or I might kick your ass," the Latina shot back.

"Play nice you two," Mercedes laughed, "trust me when I say you don't wanna upset a pregnant girl".

"Hey!" said Quinn.

"I have one word for you mama...bacon!"

"You're so not funny," the blonde mother mock sulked.

"At this rate Fabray I won't have to kick your ass," Santana threw over her shoulder as she moved around to Rachel's side, "I'll just Jones tell us all about your nutty pregnancy fits."

"You're not all going to tease me about my 'nutty pregnancy fits' later in life are you?" Rachel asked with faux innocence, as she directed Santana's hand towards the spot of her exposed flesh that her daughter was currently using as a punching bag.

"Depends how much you annoy us Berry, or how long it is after you lose the baby weight before you return to wearing those hidio..." the words died on the Latina's lips as she felt with awe the firm kick of a tiny foot against the heel of her palm.

"What's the matter S? Cat got your tongue?" Quinn laughed.

Santana wasn't sure what to make of the sensation on her skin as tiny feet repeatedly assaulted her hand. Finally, she withdrew her hand and stared at Rachel, silently thanking her for what she had just shared. Clearing her throat she tried to revert to her normal state, "Christ Berry, you got the next Jackie Chan in there or something?"

"It feels like angry jelly," Brittany piped up.

"Angry jelly?" Rachel giggled, "I can't believe you just compared my baby kicking to angry jelly".

"I want to know what angry jelly feels like," Tina voiced, questioning if she was allowed to feel the baby moving.

"Go ahead," the pregnant brunette laughed, "I need a second opinion on this whole angry jelly matter."

"You can even have a third opinion if you'd like?" Mercedes asked.

"Sure, why not?" Rachel smiled at her friend.

Quinn silently moved around to the back of Rachel's chair as hands were placed against her girlfriends bump.

"I think I may have to agree with Brittany," Tina laughed.

"Outta my way," Mercedes joined in, "I've got the deciding vote on this."

Quinn leant her head down towards Rachel's ear, "You ok?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah," Rachel turned her head and placed a sweet kiss against the cheek beside her face, "I think I am."

"You know this baby is going to have so much love in her life," the blonde smiled happily as she placed her hands on the brunette's shoulders.

"Ok," Mercedes announced, "the votes are in and I've got the deciding verdict..."

"Actually," Rachel interrupted, "I think you'll find this girl," she placed a small tanned hand on the pale hand resting on her right shoulder, "gets the final verdict".

"Sorry 'Cedes," Quinn laughed, as she took a seat on the lounger by Rachel's legs and placed her hand on the flurry of movement beneath the tan skin she had come to love the feel of. "Hmmm...let me see..."

The rest of the group watched in anticipation of the final vote.

"Hmmm..." the blonde moved her hand across the exposed flex, "I see..." by now the young mother had both hands on either side of the bump and looked up at her girlfriend, "May I?" she asked as she nodded towards Rachel's stomach.

"You may," Rachel smiled back.

Quinn placed an ear to Rachel's swollen midsection and listened for a few moments before slowly pulling away and placing a kiss on the crest of the bump.

"Well?" Mercedes asked grinning.

"Not angry jelly," Quinn laughed, "just a sleepy little girl who would like people to stop calling her angry jelly."

The group of friends burst into laughter at the ridiculousness of it all.

"Hey girls," Leroy stuck his head out of the back door, "what's so funny?"

"Hi Daddy," Rachel waved.

Leroy made his way over to his daughter and placed a kiss atop of his daughters head, "Hey sweetheart, you ok?"

"I'm ok, how comes you're home so early? I thought you had a meeting?"

"It was cancelled, and the boss decided to call it a day so I came home."

"Hi Leroy," Quinn smiled.

"Hey Quinn," Leroy stood, "What no hug?"

Quinn laughed, "Sure."

Leroy embraced the girl he was becoming to think of as part of the family, "So have you girls eaten yet?"

"Not since lunch," Quinn admitted.

"Right then...who wants pizza?" Leroy asked.

There was a chorus of agreements from the group.

"Alright then I'll go order it." Leroy turned to leave but stopped as he suddenly remembered something, "Mercedes, can I borrow you for a minute?"

"Sure Mr. B".

**Attention:** Hello all! So you weren't actually gonna get an update until I get my glasses sorted out which will hopefully be happening next week LOL but I just had to write today, hence the update. You probably won't get an update now until my glasses have been sorted as I kinda gave myself a headache from writing this LOL

Anyways, I don't think I have any questions right now. I do however have a little warning for something that will be happening in a few chapters time. I will be using some songs that weren't released until November time of 2010, but for the sake of this story I'll be saying they were released before then so that I can use them the way I want LOL

A huge thank you to **Davis B.P** for always believing in my writing, and for listening to me bat ideas around. I love you baby girl! If you haven't read her story then you should go do that now LOL

As always thank you to everyone for reading this story, an extra thank you to those of you who review it really helps to keep me motivated in writing this story. And lastly a special thank you to all of you who have been with my since the beginning of Dirty Little Secret.


	69. Chapter 69

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **It's the last week before the return to school.

**Warning: **Some sickly sweet moments are sure to follow through the last week before school chapters LOL

**Disclaimer: I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.**

**Wednesday**

Artie and Rachel sat at the back of the cafe, they'd been there for twenty minutes already and Artie's coffee was almost cold whilst Rachel's smoothie was leaving a puddle on the table as the condensation dripped down the smooth plastic cup. Artie took a sip of his coffee, grimacing slightly at the bitter taste that comes from cold coffee.

"I think maybe we've left our drinks a little too long," Rachel said as she dubiously eyed what was left of her drink.

"I think you may be right," Artie laughed.

"I'll go get us some fresh ones."

"That's ok I'll get 'em," Rachel was already beginning to stand up, "Houdini sit down!"

"I can still order drinks you know."

"I'm not saying that you can't."

"Yes you are," the girl was a little more aggressive than she intended to be.

"Just sit down will you," Artie pleaded, suddenly beginning to realise that arguing with Rachel Berry never really was a good idea but arguing with a pregnant Rachel Berry? Well that was just plain stupid.

"Artie I'm pregnant, not incapable," the diva huffed.

"I know, I'm just looking out for dinky 'dini."

Rachel's gaze softened, Artie smiled he knew he had her, he'd won.

"Another smoothie?" the now smug (internally for fear of incurring the wrath of a hormonal pregnant woman) boy asked sweetly.

"But I really can get the drinks," Rachel said defeatedly as she began lowering herself back into her chair.

"I know," Artie laughed, "now stop arguing with my and tell me what you want and I might just have something nice for you when I get back".

"You know I hate surprises!"

"Trust me you'll love it, now," he reversed his wheelchair giving himself some space as he held out his right arm butler style and bowed, "may I take your order madame?"

The brunette burst into laughter, "You look ridicilous!" Artie raised an eyebrow, again requesting what she'd like to drink, "Could I have another smoothie?"

"Of course, one smoothie coming right up!"

"And a bottle of water?" Rachel called after the boy as he made his way to the till, raising a hand to signal that he'd heard her extra request.

Several minutes later, Artie returned with a tray balanced on his knees carrying the drinks. "Voila!" he proclaimed as he placed the drinks on the table and repositioned himself so that he was comfortable.

"Thank you," Rachel said as she eagerly reached for her smoothie and began to suck on the straw.

"Slow down Houdini," Artie laughed, "you'll give mini Houdini brain freeze."

Rachel blushed and reluctantly stopped slurping, "Sorry...so what's this surprise you have for me?"

"Not so fast!" he wagged his finger.

"Please?"

"Nope!"

"You're so mean."

"You love me"

"I wouldn't be so sure of that if I were you."

"Go on, admit it. You love me. You'd be lost without me."

"Not as lost as you'd be without me."

"Touche!" Artie mock applauded.

Rachel stuck her tongue out playfully.

Artie took a tentitive sip of his coffee, "So you got to see Tina yesterday?"

"You're changing the subject."

"I am," he grinned mischeivously.

"But-"

Artie cut her off, "I promise you all will be revealed soon, I just wanna chat with you for a while first. Feels like I've not seen that much of you lately".

"Fine," Rachel huffed half-heartedly.

"If you're gonna be like that I won't give you your surprise at all."

"I'm sorry."

"I know," he winked.

"You're being mean again."

"So you gonna answer my question?"

Rachel rolled her eyes at her best friend, "Yes I saw Tina yesterday".

"How was she?"

"She seemed good, a little tired but I imagine that's what happens when one works all summer".

"Yeah," he nodded, "I've hardly seen her this summer. To be honest, I'm kinda looking forward to going back to school just so I get to spend more time with her".

"I can only imagine," she said distractedly.

"What is it?"

"It's nothing".

"Rachel?" Artie reached across the table, covering Rachel's delicate hand with his gloved hand.

"I'm worried about going back to school," she confessed timidly.

"Why?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?" Rachel replied sadly.

"C'mon Houdini," he knew that using the nickname he had given her and only he was allowed to call her by she would feel more secure, "talk to me."

"It's just...there's already so much pressure because it's senior year," she took a deep breath, "but I've got to keep my relationship with Quinn secret and still somehow manage to nurture it, Finn could reveal us whenever he chooses, I don't know how I'm going to manage not falling ridiculously behind when I have to take time off from school, and..."

"What?"

Her voice seemed to shrink, "People are going to stare and whisper behind my back again".

Artie let go of Rachel's hand and moved around to her side, pulling her into a hug, "Everything will be ok".

"You don't know that," she whispered.

"Hey," he pulled back, "look at me..." chocolate eyes met his own, "it will be ok. You have me, I'll be right by your side no matter what happens ok?"

Rachel threw her arms around Artie's neck, "Thank you".

"Listen to me ok?" his neck tickled as Rachel's hair swished against his neck as she nodded, "you and Quinn are solid, of all the things to worry about that is not one of them. I've seen the way she looks at you, she's so in love with. As for Finn...well I don't think even he's that stupid to try and pull something like that and if he is well, let's just say it's difficult to be the star quarterback with two broken feet."

"Artie Abrhams!" Rachel gave a watery laugh, "How many times do I have to tell you about violence?"

"Yeah well, no one messes with my Houdini," he smiled, "if you're worried about falling behind, talk to the teachers when we get back to school, I'm sure they wouldn't mind helping you out so you can keep up with everybody. And as for people staring and whispering, I have one word that solves that problem instantly," he grinned.

"What's that?"

"Santana".

The pair laughed together, each knowing that Artie was right. The very second anyone was caught staring at the tiny diva or whispering about her, the Latina bodyguard would be right there threatening them to within an inch of their life.

"You win," Rachel offered a watery smile, as she tried to keep her hormones in check.

"I win?"

"I'd be lost without you."

Artie nudged her playfully, "Yeah well, ditto."

"You're my best friend Artie," she said meaningfully.

"I know," he said playfully, "and speaking of my best friendlyness..." he reached for the bag that he'd had under the table since he'd arrived, "I think it's time to reveal your surprise."

Rachel sat up straighter, suddenly very alert to the presence of the bag which she'd failed to take notice of when she'd arrived.

"Now it's in two parts," Artie said as he reached into the bag and pulled out a CD and handed it over, "this is for you".

"P!nk's greatest hits?"

"Yeah, I just figured that seeing as there were a few of her songs that had meaning to you that you'd enjoy this."

"Thank you," Rachel said sincerely as her eyes scanned the track list on the back of the CD case.

"Just do me one favour..."

"What's that?"

"Listen to track twenty".

"Ok..." eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "why?"

"Just...whenever you're feeling down or you just need to know that you have a friend listen to that and remember that it's how I think of you".

"Can I listen to it now?"

"No," he laughed, "wait 'til you get home. Besides...the surprise isn't over yet," he pulled out a soft toy of a white rabbit.

"I don't get it".

"It's not for you," he cradled the soft toy in the palms of his hands, "it's for mini Houdini...every magician has a rabbit at some point".

Tears began to fill chocolate eyes, "Artie...I...I don't..."

"Hey...I'm uncle Artie remember?"

**Attention:** Two days in a row! Impressive, huh? LOL I apologise for all the spelling errors I'm sure this has. I really don't mean to keep writing, I really was going to wait until I got my new glasses but I've got so many ideas in my head at the moment that I just have to write LOL anyways I hope that my lack of vision at the moment isn't affecting my writing too much.

I know that I used P!nk's greatest hits and that it didn't come out until November 2010 but for the sake of this story I've made it come out earlier LOL

Also, and I think that **Davis B.P** will agree with me when I say this, never underestimate the power of a story because you never know…it could just change your life forever.

As always thank you to everyone for reading this story, an extra thank you to those of you who review it really helps to keep me motivated in writing this story. And lastly a special thank you to all of you who have been with my since the beginning of Dirty Little Secret.


	70. Chapter 70

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **It's the last week before the return to school.

**Warning: **Some sickly sweet moments are sure to follow through the last week before school chapters LOL

**Disclaimer: I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.**

**Thursday**

"It's still weird being here," Santana said as she stood in the doorway to Quinn's room.

"Well hello to you too," the blonde laughed, "mom let you in?"

"No, I picked the lock!" she rolled her eyes, "Of course she let me in."

Quinn shrugged her shoulders, "You never know with you," she laughed.

The Latina walked into the room, kicking the door shut with her foot and made her way over to the bed where her oldest friend was sitting, "Move you fat ass over".

The blonde had missed the banter with the Latina, although Quinn was a completely different person from who she had been when she was head Cheerio and queen bitch of high school she still liked the cattiness that she shared when she was with Santana.

"What you smiling bout?" Santana shot out with a raised eyebrow.

"Nothing," Quinn rolled her neck, "just wondering why I'm friends with you".

"Cos you're in love with me".

"Excuse me?" finely shaped blonde eyebrows raised.

"You heard, you've got a huge thing for me, always have, always will," the cheerio said playfully.

"Do I need to remind you that you tried to kiss me?" Quinn laughed mischievously, "Or maybe I should just tell Brittany?"

"Ok, one" she held her hand up, using her fingers to indicate her points, "you're a bitch." The blonde smiled innocently. "Two, I was beyond drunk that night and three, I have no idea what the fuck you're on about".

"Jesus S," she wheezed between laughs, "I'm just screwing with you. Do you really think after everything we've been through after all these years I'd really do that to you?"

"No," the Latina punched her friend jokingly in the arm, "but I like screwing with you."

"You're such a bitch," Quinn said as she finished laughing.

"I know, I love that about me".

Quinn kicked her trainers off and scooted to the back of the bed, "Shoes!" she yelled as she watched Santana begin to make her way to sit beside her.

"Yes mom," Santana rolled her eyes as she removed her shoes, "So Q..."

"Yeah S?"

"Talk to me".

"About what?"

"I don't know...everything? We didn't really get to talk the other day cos of everyone being there".

"I guess".

"How's Berry?"

"Like I said on Tuesday it depends on the day".

"I know that Q, I just meant...how's she doing with it all?"

She raked a hand through her golden locks, "I don't S, I just...I feel so useless! She has days like Tuesday where it's as if nothing ever happened, and she thinks of her baby as just that, **her** baby."

"But?"

"She has days when it's like she suddenly remembers and it's as if it all happened yesterday. She'll never admit to it, but she's still having nightmares and I wish I could do more than just hold her when she wakes up terrified. I know, I can't. It's just she's all over the place and I don't know if it's because she really is all over the place or whether it's the pregnancy screwing with her".

"She's gonna be ok y'know Q?"

"I just wish I could make it better for her S, and I have no idea what I can do that I'm not already doing".

"Well fuck me, you really are in love with her aren't you?" Santana said sincerely.

"I really am," Quinn whispered back.

"I'm proud of you Q," she squeezed the blondes thigh reassuringly, "so...you nervous?"

"About?"

"The baby".

Quinn laughed, "Yeah...it's kinda weird".

"Awww," Santana mocked, "you're a nervous papa!"

"I hate you sometimes, do you know that?"

"You love me".

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"You worried about Rachel going back to school?"

"Why the hell would I be nervous about Berry going back to school?" she said increduously.

"Don't give me that shit S, you followed Rach everywhere she went at school".

"Yeah well..." she shrugged, "someone's gotta watch the midgets back".

"So long as that's all your watching," Quinn muttered under her breath.

"I heard that Q!"

"You were meant to," she laughed.

"Yeah well you've got no worries about that happening EVER! I've got B, besides I'm not tapped in the head like you!"

Quinn shoved Santana, "That best not be about me and Rachel!"

"Chill your beans Q! I don't get it, this thing with you and Berry, and to be honest I don't think I ever will and I don't particularly want to either."

"But?"

"I'm happy for ya, you make each other happy and even I know that you both need that".

"Thanks S".

"Just don't fuck it up Q, cos I'm not getting dragged into that".

"I won't".

"Good...so there's something I wanted to talk to you about".

"Well this can't be good".

"Just shut the fuck up and listen to me ok?" Santana waited for the blonde to acknowledge her, "Ok then, it's senior year Q and I think you should come back to Cheerios".

"Did Sylvester put you up to this?" Quinn demanded.

"No, although I wouldn't be shocked if she don't pull your ass into her office next week".

"Then what? You're drunk off your ass?" for the life of her Quinn could not even begin to fathom out why her best friend would suggest something as absurd as her returning to Cheerios, even if it wasn't completely ridiculous, she still had Beth to think about.

"I know you've got Beth to think about," Santana said as if reading the blondes mind, "but I'm sure coach would let you work out some sort of schedule".

"Why would I come to Cheerios S? I mean seriously...there's enough going on as it is".

"And that's why I think you should come back. Kiss my ass if I'm wrong but you miss it Q, I know it and you know it. But...I can't be there all the time for you and Berry, I wish I could and you know that I'd do anything for you, you're my oldest friend".

"I know that San, I'm not questioning your friendship but what does Rachel have to do with my going back to being a Cheerio?"

"The school feared you Q, you were the biggest bitch going, after me that is," she turned to look at her friend so she could try and make her understand that she was saying all of this because she cared about her, "but can you imagine if someone found out bout you and Berry and told the school? The shit would hit the fan, and you've both had enough shit to deal with for a whole lifetime as it is. If you were a Cheerio again Q, no one would say a thing, they'd all shit themselves out of fear of what you'd do to them".

Quinn chewed her lip, she knew Santana had a point, "I'll think about it ok?"

"That's all I'm asking Q".

"S?"

"Yeah Q?"

"Thank you".

"Yeah, yeah, don't get all mushy on me," she nudged her friends shoulder, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips, "besides, it'll be fun to see how outta shape your ass is".

**Attention:** Bugger me, 3 days in a row! I have no idea where all these ideas are coming from but I have at least another two chapters mapped out in my head so there will be some more updates, possible over the next few days LOL Don't expect me to keep this up though, I only write when I know what I'm doing, I'm not one of these people that can force themselves to write hence my long absence from FF.

Anyways on a lighter note LOL I hope you're all enjoying the updates? I'm hoping to finish this story before the end of the year (sad days) but I am still getting ideas for a sequel and if there's enough of a demand you might actually get one.

A big thank you to **chunkmunk09** for being my guinea pig with this chapter, I really appreciate it mate. (Apparently she loves when I say mate so I put that there especially for her LOL)

As always a big thank you to my girl **Davis B.P** whether she realizes it or not, she is the source of my inspiration. Yes baby girl I said it, you inspire me! She has given me so much since she started reading Dirty Little Secret and if it weren't for this story would've stopped long, long ago because I wouldn't be here to write it. **Davis B.P** you saved my life in more ways than one beautiful, I love you so much. ALWAYS ALWAYS.

So, I hope you all enjoyed this update. Please review, pretty please? Reviews help keep me motivated and often enough they prompt an idea or two as well!


	71. Chapter 71

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **It's the last week before the return to school.

**Warning: **Some sickly sweet moments are sure to follow through the last week before school chapters LOL

**Disclaimer: I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.**

**Friday**

"Hey Beth," Puck half yelled over the delightful squeals emitting from his young daughters lips, "look who's here, it's mommy!"

"Hi," Quinn grinned, relishing the sound of happiness filling the air, "I'm beginning to think you enjoy coming to the park more than she does".

Puck laughed, "Funny!" he nodded his head towards the empty swing beside them, "Someone was a little grumpy so I thought the swings would cheer her up, you know how much she loves them".

"Yeah she really does," love resonated through her voice. The teenage mother ran up to the swing as it was on it's uplift and grabbed hold of it, suspending it in midair and causing the squeals of joy to rise in pitch, "Hi there my little monster! Did you miss mommy?"

Beth squirmed in the kiddie swing, arms reaching out, her tiny hands grasping at air as she babbled incoherently with the occasional "mama" thrown in.

Quinn lowered the swing back to earth, carefully removed her little girl from the swing and hoisted her in the air. Beth's shirt rode as she was extracted from the swing and her mother noticed the exposed delicate flesh of stomach as it past her nose.

Puck watched the scene unfold, a huge grin splitting his face as he watched Quinn blow a raspberry on a squirming Beth.

"Come here baby girl," the blonde lowered the laughing child and brought her to her chest, wrapping both her arms around her, "Mommy loves you so much". She pressed her lips to Beth's head, inhaling that unique smell that all babies seem to have, in some ways it saddened her that Beth wouldn't smell like this for much longer but that was part of growing up and she couldn't wait to watch what this small child would become over the years. "Wanna come on the big girls swing with mommy?" Beth babbled away to herself, her fingers intwined in the long golden hair in front of her, "Of course you do". Quinn sat on the swing, Beth carefully placed on her lap and nodded towards the empty swing beside her, "Maybe Daddy should swing with us, don't you think baby?"

Puck laughed and took the swing beside his girls, gently pushing the swing forward with the ball of his foot to match the movement of the girls, "No Rachel?"

"No," Quinn gave a little sigh, her eyes focused on the little girl in her lap, "you wanted to spend some time with your girls remember?"

"She could've come Quinn, she's one of my girls too".

"Yeah, since when?"

"Rachel will always be one of my girls, I told you...she's like a sister to me. She's family. Even more now that you two are together".

"Noah..." Quinn didn't know what to say, she knew that the boy beside her had grown so much ever since the birth of their unexpected daughter, but it was in that moment she realised that he was no longer a boy but rather a man. A man that she was proud to call the father of her child.

"It's ok, just remember next time I say I wanna spend time with my girls that includes her," he added cautiously, "and her daughter".

"Beth is so lucky to have you for her daddy".

"Not as lucky as I am to be her daddy".

Quinn cleared her throat, she knew that if Puck kept this up she would end up with tears rolling down her cheeks. _Keep it together Q! _"You ready for tomorrow?"

"You bet I am," Puck smiled knowingly, he knew that the blonde was trying to reign in her emotions, "truck's already cleared out and everything".

"Thanks for that, you're the only one with a truck".

"It's no problem, I'm glad that I can help".

"And your mom is ok bout tomorrow?"

"She's great about tomorrow," he stopped the movement of his swing so that he could watch his girls, "in all honesty I think she's looking forward to having Beth to herself for the day".

"You know that if it's a problem we can call the sitter right?"

"I know that," he laughed, "hell, mom knows that but she honestly wants to spend the day with Beth".

"Ok," Quinn felt guilty that Mrs. Puckerman would be looking after Beth for the day, "just make sure she knows that she can call either of us at anytime if she needs to".

"Q, chill!" Puck laughed, "Mom doesn't think you're taking advantage I promise".

"You sure about that?" she asked incredulously, her relationship with his mother still tenuous at best.

"She's warming up to you y'know?"

"I doubt that".

"Whatever, don't believe me, but she is," he shrugged his shoulders, he knew that him mom was only just beginning to get used to Quinn and was starting to actually like her but it had taken it's sweet ass time. "So what's the plan?"

"Rachel's with Shelby tomorrow for most of the day," her words stopped as the bundle in her lap began to squirm violently, "I think she wants you".

Puck relieved Quinn's lap, "Come sit with Daddy big girl, we'll swing all the way to the sky". Beth seemed to calm as soon as the swing began to move. "You were saying?"

"Leroy's taking Rach out in the morning for breakfast and then he's going to stay with her until Shelby turns up," she readjusted herself so that she was stradled across the swing, facing Puck and Beth, "Hiram's gonna call everyone as soon as they leave".

"Cool, will we need to move stuff before we can get started?"

"No, Leroy took a day off and emptied everything while Rach was out with Artie".

"Sneaky!" Puck grinned mischieviously, "if he keeps this up she won't have a clue about what's going on".

"That's the plan," Quinn said nervously.

Puck picked up on the apprehension radiating from the blonde, "What's up?"

"Do you think we'll get it all done in time?"

"Piece of cake," he said confidently.

"You sure about that?"

"I promise you," he stopped the swing, reached out and gave Quinn's hand a reassuring squeeze, "it'll all be done in time, if it makes you feel any better we can get mom to watch rugrat here for an hour and go pick up the stuff tonight".

"You sure?"

"Of course".

"Thanks, I'll make a quick call so that they know we're gonna go get the stuff tonight".

"You do that," Puck stood and positioned a now tiring Beth on his hip, "I'll call mom".

**Attention:** Hello all! I hope you enjoyed the newest installment! Wondering what's so important bout Saturday yet? LOL I promise you that you shouldn't have to wait too long to find out, I'm already writing it.

So my question is:

Dirty Little Secret is nearly finished, sequel?  
a) Yes

b) No

c) Other (comment)

As always a big thank you to my girl **Davis B.P** for always helping me with my writing. We did a writing sprint together you should all go check out her story cos it's bloody amazing and oh my God it's getting so good and if she doesn't update soon I may go crazy LOL just kidding baby, but seriously please give me the next chapter soon! I love you!

Also, no more suggestions are being taken for baby names. Rachel's daughter now has a name, but you will not be finding it out until the baby is born…sorry! LOL

So, I hope you all enjoyed this update. Please review, pretty please? Reviews help keep me motivated and often enough they prompt an idea or two as well!


	72. Chapter 72

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **It's the last week before the return to school. Also I hope you're sitting comfortably cos this is one seriously long ass chapter LOL

**Warning: **Some sickly sweet moments are sure to follow through the last week before school chapters LOL

**Disclaimer: I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.**

**Saturday**

Hiram stood in front of his daughters room, "Rach?" Nothing. He knocked and called again, "Rachel?" he carefully opened the door. _Still asleep? It's nearly 9 o'clock._ He shook his head, laughing quietly to himself as he walked over to his daughters bed. He and Leroy were both aware of Rachel's normal morning routine which she stuck to everyday, even on the weekends, but neither of them had tried to get her to stick to it. In fact they were both relieved that she no longer (and hadn't been for all of summer) got up at six in the morning to jump on her elliptical, they very rarely woke her unless they had to. Hiram sat carefully on the edge of the bed, so as not to encroach on Rachel and startle her. "Rachel, time to wake up baby".

Rachel rolled over slowly, her eyes barely opening. "Bed is comfy," she mumbled sleepily as she pulled the covers back up to her chin.

"I know," he laughed, "but it's time to get out of bed".

One chocolate orb took in the surroundings, lingering on the figure of her fathers face above, "Dad," she smiled.

"That's me," he reached out and began to gently stroke her hair, "you gonna wake up for me?"

"Five more minutes?"

"C'mon sleepy head, time to get your butt out of bed". Hiram went to stand but stopped when his wrist was wrapped in his daughters' delicate fingers.

Rachel cleared her throat, "Come cuddle with me for a minute?"

Hiram didn't know what to say, he stood there dumbfounded. He couldn't remember the last time his daughter had asked that of him.

"Please?"

"Of course Rach," he stood nervously next to the bed, unsure as whether to lie on top of the covers or get under them the way they used to do, especially in the winter when the mornings were cold.

Rachel sensed her fathers' hesistation and threw back the corner of the blanket, "Hurry Dad, you're letting all the cold air in".

Hiram got under the covers and lay down carefully, allowing his daughter be the one to dictate the actions.

Rachel snuggled up to her father, and breathed in the smell of his clean shirt mingled with his after-shave, "I've missed this," she mumbled into his chest.

"Me too Rae," he pressed his lips to her forehead, loving how close his daughter was allowing him to be.

"Dad?"

"Yeah Rae?"

"Do you think we'll ever go back to normal? To how things were before?" she asked timidly.

Hiram thought about the question carefully, he wanted to reassure his daughter of how much he and Leroy loved her, but he did not wish to lie to her either, "I don't think we'll go back to the way things were before baby".

"Oh..."

"I think they'll be better," he added as he started to stroke the thick, silk hair.

"Really?"

Hiram's heart broke a little, Rachel's voice sounded like it belonged to a little a girl and in his eyes she was a little girl, "Really sweetheart".

Rachel buried herself into her father, her arm wrapped around him far as it would go.

The pair lay there silently, each enjoying each others company, relishing the simplicity of something they had not shared in what felt like years.

Leroy stood leaning against the doorframe, his heart melting at the sight before him. There had been many times since Rachel's birth were Hiram had gone to check on their daughter that Leroy had then gone to check on both of them only to find that Hiram was in bed with Rachel cuddled up to him, and more often that not the pair had fallen asleep. Leroy smiled at the memories flashing in his mind. "I hope you didn't come up here to wake up our girl only to fall back asleep with her?"

Rachel pushed herself up slightly, "Daddy," she smiled, "we're awake!"

"Good," Leroy smiled lovingly at his daughter, "can I swap places with your dad?"

"No, he's comfy and warm," Rachel laughed playfully, "but you can come cuddle too, if you'd like?"

Leroy joined his husband and daughter, "This is nice...I can't remember the last time we were all cuddled up like this".

Rachel rolled over (rather awkwardly) so that she could cuddle her daddy, "I missed our cuddles".

"Me too Rae".

She buried her face into Leroy's chest, much like she had done with Hiram, and breathed in the scent that was her daddy's. Rachel wrinkled her nose and pulled back.

Leroy laughed when he saw his daughters face all scrunched up, "What's the matter Rae?"

"You smell different".

"I do?"

"Yeah," she sniffed at him again, "spicy".

"Oh!" Leroy chuckled, "It's the new aftershave, don't you like it?"

"It's ok I guess".

"Really?"

"No, I like the old one much better," she said as she cuddled back up to Leroy.

Hiram lay the other side of his daughter sniggering.

"I can hear you," Leroy said pointedly.

"What?" Hiram feigned innocence.

"Stop laughing at me".

"Ok," Hiram forced himself to contain his laughter, "I'm gonna go downstairs and make some coffee".

"You do that," Leroy threw at him jokingly, "So baby girl...how about you get washed and dressed and you and I go out for the morning?"

Rachel sat up eagerly, "Just us?" she asked hopefully. Before the shit hit the proverbial fan, Rachel and her Daddy would often have days that were just for them, days where Leroy would take Rachel out to iHOP for breakfast and then the two of them would go shopping together and every once in a while afterwards they'd go to the cinema. Rachel loved those special days spent with her daddy, she'd missed them so much but with everything that had been going on in her life she just hadn't had the time to realise just how much she missed them.

"Just us Rae," Leroy placed a kiss on his daughters head, "so what d'ya say? You, me, pancakes?"

"Can we?" Rachel asked excitedly.

"Go get washed and dressed then," Leroy stood up and stretched, "I'm going to go have coffee with your dad, meet me in the kitchen when you're ready and we'll go ok?"

"Ok Daddy".

Hiram heard the water begin to rush through the pipes, just as he felt arms wrap around his waist. "She's up then".

"Yep," Leroy placed a kiss on his husbands neck before resting his head over his shoulder, "all it took was the promise of pancakes".

Hiram laughed, turning in the small space he had between himself, his husband and the kitchen counter, "Sounds about right". He leaned up and kissed Leroy, it still amazed him that even after all these years they were still very much in love and that even now his husband could turn his legs to jelly just by kissing him.

"Good morning to you too," Leroy smiled, his eyes filled with love and lust.

"Don't even think about it!" Hiram slapped Leroy's chest playfully, "We've got a mission today".

Leroy released the grip he had on Hiram, "You're right," he sighed as he watched Hiram turn back around to finish making the coffee, "but you are in a world of trouble once the mission is completed," he said grabbing Hiram's ass.

"Oi!" Hiram squealed, "Rachel will be down soon! Now sit down and drink your coffee".

"Yes sir!" Leroy mock saluted.

"Ha ha ha, you're oh so funny my dear".

"You know it".

Hiram rolled his eyes as he pulled up a chair beside Leroy and tentatively sipped at his hot coffee.

"You know what to do?" Leroy asked quietly, aware that the water had just stopped running through the pipes.

"I'll call the second you and Rae pull out of the drive," Hiram reassured.

"Ok good. Hopefully this will all go according to plan".

"It will," Hiram said confidently, "it's not just two of us doing this, we have our very own little army".

Leroy chuckled, "This is very true".

The pair sat for the next ten minutes, drinking their coffee and chatting idly about what Leroy had planned for his morning with Rachel before her meeting with Shelby.

"I'm ready," Rachel beamed as she suddenly appeared in the kitchen doorway.

"Perfect timing Rae," Hiram greeted, "your Daddy just finished his coffee".

Leroy leant across and kissed his husbands cheek, whispering "World of trouble later," and stood up, "Ok sweetheart, I'll see you later".

Hiram just shook his head at his husband, trying to hide the smirk that wanted to spread across his face, "Have a great day Rae".

"Bye Dad," she quickly went and gave him a kiss on the cheek before following after Leroy.

Hiram stood in the kitchen, watching from the window and waving as his husband and daughter clambered into the car. He waited for the sound of the engine to start before hitting call on his cell. "Hello?" He repositioned his cell so that it was more comfortable, "You did? That's great. Did they give you any trouble? I'm glad. Yeah...uh huh...they're pulling out...and they're...gone. Yeah of course, load it up, just be careful. She'll kill all of us if someone hurts themselves during all of this. No, I know but you know what she's like," he laughed as the other person responded, "no, of course. Yeah sure...she's taken care of for the day? That's brilliant. OK. Yeah. No that's already. No there's nothing else. I'll call the others as soon as I hang up. Erm...not that I know of. No, no! Don't be silly! No, don't worry about it, we'll take of it. Yes I'm sure. Don't worry so much, she's going to love it. Yeah sure, I'll see you in half hour. Uh huh. Ok, I will. See you soon. Ok, bye".

Leroy and Rachel were sat at their table waiting for their breakfast.

"So Daddy...what's the occasion?"

"What do you mean?" _Shit she's onto us._

"Well we haven't done this in so long...I just wondered if there was an ulterior motive..."

"What on earth would I need a motive for Rae?"

"Well..." Rachel's cheeks blushed, "I know I'm seeing Shelby today..."

_Phew!_ "No Rae, I just wanted to spend time with my favourite daughter".

"I'm your only daughter," Rachel laughed.

"All the more reason to spend time with you".

"So it's not because I'm seeing Shelby today?"

"I promise you sweetie, I just wanted to do something with you that we used to love doing together".

"Daddy..." Rachel wasn't sure what to say, there were so many emotions running through her and she wasn't entirely sure if that's what she was truly feeling or whether it was the pregnancy hormones coursing through her system, "I've missed you," she finally finished.

"I've missed you too Rae," Leroy studied his daughter, no matter what happened or what would happen in the future he knew that there was one thing that would never changed and that was how much he loved her, "your dad is right you know? Things won't go back to the way they were before, they'll be better".

"I hope so".

"They will baby, I'll make sure of it".

"Uhoh...Daddy's on a mission".

"That's right I am," he laughed maniacally, "and you know what happens when I'm on a mission don't you?"

"Nothing gets in your way or stops you," she giggled, she had missed her daddy being silly around her.

"Everyone beware," he held up a finger, "Daddy is on a mission and there is NOTHING you can do about it! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

"You're such a goof!"

"Do I look like goofy to you?" Leroy lifted his top lip so that his teeth were showing, "Hyuck!"

"Hello?" Quinn called out as she removed her key from the door, "Anyone here?"

"Q quit standing in the doorway and let me put this damn box down," Puck's voice mumbled.

"Sorry!" the blonde quickly got out of the way allowing the boy behind her to place the box safely on the ground.

"I'll get the rest of the boxes outta the truck," he said without waiting for an answer.

"Be careful," she called after him before shouting, "Anybody home?"

Hiram appeared at the top of the staircase, "Quinn!"

"Hi Hiram," the blonde smiled, "are we the first ones here?"

"No," Hiram wheezed, "sorry, I'm a little outta breath".

"I can see," the blonde raised an eyebrow questioningly.

Hiram was about to explain when Puck's voice bellowed, "Mind your backs!"

"Noah," Hiram rushed to help him lower the box, "you shouldn't be doing that by yourself!"

"Don't worry Mr. B," Puck wiped his head with the back of his hand, "I've got it," and with that he was out the door again.

"Leave him to it Hiram, he'll be ok. He probably wouldn't let you help even if you tried," she laughed, "so why are you so out of breath?"

"Artie's here," Hiram slapped his forehead, "oh God I've left the poor boy upstairs all by himself!"

"Artie? How'd you get him upstairs? Please don't tell me you took him upstairs by yourself! Leroy will kill you if he finds out!"

"Quinn calm down," Hiram laughed.

"Backs!" Puck yelled as he toted in yet another box and vanished back out the door.

"Artie's dad helped me to get him upstairs," Hiram explained quickly as his phone started to ring, he glanced at the screen, "it's Kurt".

"Ok, I'm gonna head up to Artie".

"Hello?" Hiram answered, "Ok dear I'll meet you upstairs in a minute. What? No sorry Kurt...Quinn's here".

Leroy studied his daughters face as they waited for their breakfast to arrive, he couldn't help but notice that (quite understandably) she looked different. He couldn't quite figure out what it was that was different. Despite what people say pregnant women more often than not do not glow, far from it when you took in to account the hell that their bodies had to endure for nine months and the constant mood swings as hormones turned them a little bat shit crazy. No, it wasn't anything to do with the pregnancy, well perhaps the pregnancy played a part in it, the events of the whole year probably played a part in it, but as Leroy's eyes traced every line of the face he had watched for the last seventeen years and while she looked exactly the same as she did the year prior, she somehow looked...more grown up.

"What are you staring at?" Rachel stirred him from his thoughts, "Do I have something on me or something?"

"No Rae," Leroy cleared his head, "I was just...when did you get so grown up?"

"Erm..." Rachel looked down at her hands awkwardly, "Is this some right of passage parent thing?" she laughed nervously, "A compulsory question all parents must ask in order to be deemed a good parent?"

"No," Leroy laughed deeply, his daughters odd sense of humour never left on him, "I think your daddy's just getting old".

"You're not old daddy," she said sweetly, "not to me".

"You're very sweet baby, a liar, but very sweet," he sipped at the glass of water in front of him, "No I was just thinking about the amazing woman you've turned out to be and I just wondered when you stopped being my little girl and became this incredible woman".

Rachel stood up, moved to sit on the opposite side of the booth with her father. "I'll always be your little girl daddy," she rested her head on his shoulder, "nothing will ever change that...I promise," she added with a whisper.

Leroy pressed his face to the crown of his daughters' head and sighed, "You'll always be my baby girl Rae".

"Uh hum," the waitress cleared her voice, a plate in either hand, "sorry to interrupt".

Leroy forced himself to sit upright, "No need to be," he smiled pleasantly at the woman.

"I'm starving," Rachel added as she moved herself back round to her side of the booth as the waitress began placing the plates in front of them.

"Will there be anything else?"

"No..." Leroy looked questioningly at his daughter who had already started to devour her stack, "we're good thanks".

"Alrighty then, holler if you need anything," and with that the waitress went about her work.

"So Rae," Leroy began cutting up his food, "I was thinking that maybe after we're done with breakfast we could go shopping, like we used to".

Rachel swallowed her food, "Oh..." her voice suddenly filled with guilt.

"Don't worry, I know you and Shelby are going shopping later for your back to school clothes," he added hastily, "I was thinking that what with school beginning on Monday and everything else we'll have to do over the next couple of weekends maybe you and I could go look at getting some baby clothes...so you have something to bring her home in once she's born. And that'll be one job out of the way freeing up your weekends a little to spend time with Quinn and your friends," his words were all rushed together, he felt a little guilty for propositioning this shopping trip under false pretenses but more than anything he felt awkward and unsure.

Rachel carefully chewed her food as she thought about what her father had just said, she could tell how worried he was about even suggesting the idea and while she didn't really talk about her daughter with anyone it didn't mean that she didn't think about her all the time. "I think that's a good idea".

"Yeah?" Leroy couldn't hide the surprise in his voice, he had been expecting his daughter to close of and shoot the idea down. It was a difficult situation to be in for anyone.

"Yeah," Rachel smiled, albeit weakly, "I think I'd kind of like to find some things for her".

Kurt had been the last to arrive, he hadn't intended to be the last one, while he believed there was such a thing as fashionably late this was just ridiculous. He stood in the doorway, "Hey guys".

"Dude," Puck greeted, "where the hell you been? We're almost done already".

"Ignore Puck," Quinn laughed.

"What's up Hummel?" Santana threw in, "Didn't wanna ruin your manicure?"

"S!" Quinn shot, "Play nice!"

"He knows I'm just kidding with him," Santana said half-heartedly, she had never been a morning person and as nice as Hiram had been to supply coffee as far as she was concerned he may as well have given her a mug of water.

"Kurt!" Mercedes greeted him with a hug, "Dang boy, what the hell took you so long?"

"Finn..."

"Is Finn coming?" Brittany asked innocently.

"No B," Santana whispered to her quietly, "Finn won't be joining us". She turned to face Kurt, "He give you trouble?"

"When doesn't he?" Kurt tried to laugh it off.

"I'm being serious here Kurt," Santana said dropping what she was doing to stand closer to the boy, "he giving you problems?"

At this point Quinn and Puck were also huddled around Kurt.

"Guys seriously, I'm ok," Kurt promised, "I just had a little trouble getting out of the house without him seeing. He would've figured out that I was coming to see Rachel if he saw me leave...he knows that Mercedes lives in the opposite direction. I just didn't want him following and causing any more problems".

"You sure?" Puck asked concerned.

"What's all the hubbub?" Hiram asked as he made his way down the hallway, "Everything ok?"

"Everything's fine Mr. Berry," Kurt answered.

"Kurt...how many times do I have to tell you, it's Hiram".

"Sorry," Kurt blushed.

"Or Mr. B," Puck added as he returned to what he had been previously doing.

"Wow guys," Hiram stood inside the doorway inspecting the room, "I can't believe you've got this done already".

"It's magic," Artie laughed, everyone knew that he called his best friends unborn baby Mini Houdini.

"I can see that," Hiram laughed, "so I guess this means we're all going downstairs to start some of the other stuff while this dries".

"We should be able to have the second coat on and drying by the time Leroy gets home," Puck added helpfully.

"Well...on that note," Santana interrupted, "I'm making a run to Starbucks cos no offence Mr. B but I need real caffeine".

"I really enjoyed breakfast," Rachel said nervously as she entered a baby store with her father.

"I'm glad Rae," Leroy, sensing his little girls nerves, held his free hand (the other clutching a shopping basket) out for her to take, which she did.

They walked in semi-comfortable silence as they took in the fast array of colours and products that lie before them as they slowly began ambling up a random aisle in search of clothing only to come across various other types of paraphernalia.

She swallowed back the lump in her throat as she suddenly realised how much time she didn't have until the arrival of her daughter, "Daddy?"

"Yes sweetheart?"

"Maybe..." she cleared her throat, her brain working on overload as she reeled the list of things she had yet to do in preparation for her still unnamed daughters arrival, "maybe we should get more than just clothes for her?"

"You sure? You don't have to rush into anything you're not ready for baby".

"Actually..." she laughed at the absurdity of her fathers faux naivety, "I kinda do...need to rush I mean," her words sped up, "there's so much do to before she gets here and I haven't even attempted to look at setting up the nursery with you and dad other than getting paint and a fleece blanket and she's going to need so much more than that and I still haven't thought of a name for her and she's not got any furniture and-"

"Rae," Leroy stopped his daughters rambling placing both hands on her shoulders, "take a deep breath," Rachel did as she was told, "it's all going to be ok baby, I promise you. We'll work it all out".

"We will?"

Leroy pointed to his face, "You see this look? C'mon you know what this look means".

Rachel let out a watery laugh, "Daddy's on a mission".

"I promise you sweetheart," he cupped her small face in his massive palms, "everything will be ready in time, trust me ok?"

"Ok," Rachel took another deep breath and took comfort in her fathers presence, she nodded to herself, "ok...I'm ready. Let's do this".

"I don't think this is English," Brittany announced as she studied the papers in her hand.

Santana looked over Brittany's shoulder, slightly more human now after three shots of espresso and a latte gripped firmly in her hand, "It's upside down B," she said warmly.

"Oh..." Brittany turned the pages round the right way, "I still don't think they're English," she said as she tried to puzzle out what was typed on the pages.

Mercedes, Kurt, Tina and Mike were in the basement with Hiram sorting through boxes and slowly bringing up various things that the others could only puzzle at.

"You ok?" Puck asked as he sat in the armchair Artie had parked himself by.

"What?" Artie asked, he'd barely registered what Puck had said, he hadn't even realised he'd sat next to him, "Yeah, just thinking".

"Bout?"

Artie glanced at the abandoned pad of paper with the list of things that needed doing and the pencil that rested on top that were on the coffee table, "Hey...could you pass me those?" he asked pointing at them.

"Sure," Puck handed them over to Artie, "what's this all about?"

"Just give me one minute," Artie said as he began to hurriedly scrawl across a blank page, "here".

"Ok..." Puck studied the page and then looked up at Artie, "I don't get it".

"Do you think you can get me in and out of your truck?"

"Dude...look at me!" Puck stood up and flexed, "Course I fucking can".

"Can you take me to get some wood cut?"

"Ah..." Artie tried to hold back a laugh, he could almost see the light bulb above Puck's head as he realised what the drawing was for, "sure dude, wait here and I'll run down and tell Q we're off out".

By the time Leroy and Rachel had finished shopping in the store Rachel found some of her guilt at not having anything prepared for the arrival of her daughter easing a little bit. "Do you think we got enough?"

Leroy laughed, "You're joking right Rae?"

Rachel looked at the bag her father had clutched in both hands and the bags she had within her own, "Yeah," she laughed at her silliness, "I guess you're right".

"Stop worrying sweetheart," Leroy spotted Shelby in the distance already waiting, "everything will be ready in time".

"So you keep saying," Rachel said a little unconvinced.

Leroy stopped walking, and placed his bags on the ground, "Rae..."

"I know," Rachel sighed, "I worry too much".

A large palm engulfed the side of her small face, "You really do," Leroy smiled lovingly, "stay here with the bags ok? I just want to have a quick word with Shelby".

"Daddy..."

"Don't worry, I'll play nice," he held up his hand, "scouts honour".

Rachel watched nervously as her father approached the woman that was her mother but not quite her mom and said a silent prayer. _Please God, don't let Daddy say something that we'll all end up regretting._ She watched the interaction between her parents, unsure as to what was being said. _I wish I knew what they were talking about._ Shelby seemed to be nodding and smiling a little, and the next thing Rachel knew both Shelby and Leroy were walking back towards her. _Here we go..._

"Hi Rachel," Shelby smiled warmly at her, her voice not even trying to hide how glad she was to see her.

"Hi," Rachel replied a little awkwardly, her mind still focused on whatever had been said between her parents.

"Right," Leroy's voice broke through the cloud of thoughts Rachel was lost in, "come give me a hug baby girl".

"Are you going?" Rachel's voice muffled against Leroy's broad chest.

"Yeah, I'm gonna take all this stuff home and put it away," he nodded towards the pile of bags on the floor.

"Is the car far?" Shelby asked.

"No, not really, it's pretty much out front".

"Then why don't Rachel and I help you take this stuff to the car?" Shelby hinted, knowing that Leroy had a time frame to work within.

Leroy was about to turn the offer down when he realised what Shelby was doing, "Sure, that'd be great".

Rachel couldn't help but smile, _Odd,_ this was the first time since the competition that her parents had spoken, well as far as she was aware, and for whatever reason they seemed awfully chummy with each other. _Very odd._

"You coming Rae?" Leroy threw over his shoulder.

"Where is everybody?" Hiram asked as he walked into the lounge to find only Mercedes and Brittany in the room.

"I'm looking at Rachel's baby pictures," Brittany beamed.

Mercedes rolled her eyes, "Artie's out back doing God only knows what," she laughed, "Quinn's out there with him, I think she said she wanted to touch the chair up".

Hiram sat on the couch next to Mercedes and started helping her sort through the boxes they had brought up from the basement, "And the others?"

"Santana, Tina, Puck, Mike and Kurt are doing the second coat now," she added, "I did say to Kurt that he could help with this stuff, but he insisted on helping upstairs. I think he feels bad for not being here from the start".

"Poor boy," Hiram heard the sound of an engine, "I think that might be Leroy".

"Already?" Mercedes asked, unaware of what time it was.

Hiram glanced at his watch, "I'd say so".

"Honey," came from the hallway, "I'm home!"

"He's definitely home," Mercedes laughed.

"Tell me about it," Hiram rolled his eyes and made his way to the doorway, his jaw dropping a little at the amount of bags now littering the floor, "what on earth did you do?"

"Miss me?" Leroy asked without skipping a beat and kissed his husbands cheek, "Shelby turned up a little early so I had a quiet word with her about what we're doing, she's gonna give me a text when it looks like they're winding down".

"That's great," Hiram was less that enthusiastic, "now what's with all the bags?" he demanded.

"What? These?" Leroy feigned innocence as he pointed at the shopping.

"No the pink elephant in the room," Hiram shook his head, he should've known that a 'daddy/Rachel' morning would result in a silly husband, "yes the bags!"

Leroy laughed heartily, "I'm just playing with you baby. I took Rae shopping like I said I would".

"And?"

"And I think it's a good thing we're doing what we're doing," he answered honestly, "you should've seen her in the store Hir, I think it suddenly all rushed up and jumped in her face. It was like she just suddenly realised that she hasn't got much time to get everything done".

"So..." Rachel began awkwardly as she walked next to Shelby, "what were you and Daddy talking about?"

"Nothing much really," Shelby shrugged, she really didn't want to lie to Rachel, not now that she was only just beginning to build an actual relationship with her, "he gave me his number in case I needed to call him".

"Why would you need to call him?" Rachel's brows knotted in confusion.

_Shit! Erm...think Shelby, think! _"Just in case you wanted him to pick you up early or we went to dinner or anything," _Not entirely a lie, well done._

"Oh...I guess that makes sense," Rachel shrugged her shoulders.

Shelby slowly let out a breath that she had been holding without realising it. _Thank God for that! I'd hate to ruin what's in store for her later._ "So..." Shelby stalled unsure what she should say to the daughter she had alienated, "You looking forward to going back to school?"

"A little I guess," Rachel answered truthfully, "I miss having a structure to my day and something to do to keep my brain active".

"But?"

"But..." she chewed on her lip as she wondered how honest she should or could be with her mother, _She's really trying, I should too,_ "I'm a little...anxious, I suppose".

"Why Rachel?" Shelby was a little shocked, every encounter she had had with the young woman not once had she ever found her to be anxious. _Although I guess it's understandable, she's been through a lot. _

"Well, there's so much still to do before she arrives," she raked a hand through her dark locks, a nervous habit she had seemed to develop over the last year, "and this is my senior year, there's exams to worry about, and then there will be a lot of new students that weren't at school last year and that will inevitably lead to the whispering in the halls to start again".

"Would you like my opinion?"

"Please".

"Let them whisper all they want, you know the truth and so do the people that matter to you. No one else's opinion matters. As for school, I can talk with your dads if you'd like? Maybe set up an appointment with the principal? I'm sure the school would be more than willing to accommodate and adapt a little so that you can keep up with everything without making yourself ill from working yourself into the ground". Shelby offered Rachel a smile, "As for your daughter, you could be the most prepared person in the world and still feel like nothing is ready, believe me," she added with a laugh, "I've been there".

"You'd really do that?" Rachel asked nervously, trying not to give in to the overwhelming urge to throw her arms around Shelby. _She really is trying._

"Of course, if that's what you'd like me to do".

"Thank you," the smaller of the two dark haired beauties said earnestly.

"You're very welcome".

"Ok," Quinn was knelt on the concrete slabs of the patio, paintbrush in hand, "I can't take it anymore".

"Can't take what?" Artie asked, not taking his eyes off of his personal little project.

"What on earth are you working on?"

"Well..." he finally stopped what he was doing and pushed his glasses up his nose, "come here and I'll show you".

Quinn pushed herself off of the ground with her free hand and swayed for a moment, "Woah...head rush".

Artie laughed, "Are you auditioning for the role of the dizzy blonde?"

"Funny!" Quinn made her way over, "You're lucky you're Rae's best friend, otherwise I might have to hurt you".

"I'm gonna tell you exactly the same thing that I tell Houdini...you love me".

Quinn rolled her eyes, "So come on then, what is this mystery you're working on?"

"Well...Houdini's got a gold star on her bedroom door right?"

"So?" Quinn was a little baffled, unsure as to what Rachel's love of gold stars or the one on the door of her bedroom had anything to do with what they were all at Berry's for in the first place.

Artie pulled out the rough sketch he'd made earlier before getting Puck to take him to get the supplies he needed, "Here".

Quinn studied the drawing and then looked at the wood that Artie had been working on, "Ah...right I get it".

"Only seemed right that Mini Houdini should have something too".

"So any idea what we're looking for?" Shelby asked as they walked into the first clothes store of what she thought would be of many, "Skirts? Dresses? Tr-"

"No!" Rachel answered a little too quickly and harshly. Red creeped up her neck before flaring like an angry flame ignited in her cheeks, "Sorry..."

"Don't be sorry".

"Just no skirts or dresses," her voice was quiet, her mind trying to force away the images threatening to play out inside her head, "I've kind of gone off them".

"That's fine," Shelby placed a hand on Rachel's shoulder.

Rachel stared at the hand on her shoulder, finding it oddly comforting, she wasn't sure what to do. Was she supposed to do anything?

"Sorry," Shelby quickly removed her hand, aware that Rachel had been staring at it, "I won't let it happen again".

"No, I'm sorry. It's totally fine," Rachel looked into the eyes that were so familiar and yet not, they seemed softer than they had before. _"_I just...it was nice".

"Should be able to start putting stuff up now," Puck said as he ran his hand along the walls and rolled his fingers against each other.

Leroy placed his hand against the wall, "I think you're right".

"Oh no..." Hiram's face paled.

"What's the matter?" Leroy asked confused.

"You're going to kill me".

"Sweetheart," Leroy walked over to his husband, "whatever it is I'm sure it's ok".

Hiram's words rushed together, like that of a small child admitting to misbehaving, "I forgot to pick up a drill".

"Ah..."

"Hey," Puck interrupted, "it's no problem".

"It's not?" Hiram asked hopefully.

"Got one in the back of the truck," Puck shrugged, "I wasn't sure what we were gonna need so I brought some tools with me, y'know, just in case sorta thing".

"See?" Leroy smiled, "Never fear Noah's here!"

"Well..." Rachel sighed, "that store was a bust".

"Agreed," Shelby laughed, "maybe we should pay more attention to the names of the stores we go in".

"Definitely," Rachel laughed, the awkwardness she'd initially felt at the start of this little mother-daughter bonding trip dissipating quickly, "I know I'm the size of a house right now but I don't think moo-moos are quite my thing".

Shelby couldn't help but laugh, she could still remember when she'd said something very similar when she was pregnant with Rachel.

"What's so funny?"

"Just we're more alike that you realise," she smiled, "your dads, well they took me shopping several times and they were forever suggesting these hideous dresses that looked like you could go camping in them and I said something very much like what you just said".

Rachel laughed, "That is kind of funny".

"How's it going down here?" Leroy asked as he walked into the lounge.

"Hey Leroy," Mercedes smiled up, "it's going good I think," she laughed, "I can't believe you guys kept all this stuff".

"Just didn't have the heart to throw it out," Leroy said taking a seat on the arm of the chair, "besides we never ruled out not having another child".

"Makes sense".

"So where are your little helpers?" Leroy asked, suddenly aware that Mercedes was the only one in the room.

"I think they went to get lunch for everyone," Mercedes shrugged, "but this is Brittany and Santana so they could be gone a while".

"I'm not even going to ask," Leroy chuckled, he could remember how he and Hiram had barely been able to keep their hands off of each other when they were younger.

"Probably a good thing," Mercedes laughed, her head currently half in a box.

"What about...oh God...wait I know it..." Leroy hated when he forgot peoples names, "erm...Tina!"

"Out back I think," Mercedes sat back up, a rather worn out looking book in her hands, "I think she went to see Artie for a bit".

"Oh God," Leroy smiled his hand reaching towards the book in Mercedes hand, "May I?"

"Sure," she handed the book over.

Leroy stroked the cover of the book, a nostalgic smile on his face, "Now this..." he gently tapped the book, "this brings back memories. This has to go up on the shelves once they're up".

"What's so special about that book?" Mercedes raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"This book?" Leroy asked in disbelief, "Don't tell me you don't know The BFG?"

"I do," Mercedes searched her brain, "well kind of...I sort of remember reading it when I was younger".

"Well this..." he couldn't help but stare at the cover and smile, "was Rachel's favourite book as a kid. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I read it to her. I'm not going to lie, I was a little heart broken when she was old enough to read it herself".

"Aww..." Mercedes smiled, "that's so cute! I agree, it has to go upstairs. Maybe you can read it to your granddaughter?"

"Oh God," Leroy laughed, "now you're just trying to make me feel old!"

"How's it going in there?" Shelby called through the changing room door.

"I'd like to revise my earlier statement," Rachel said sounding rather deflated, "I'm not the size of a house".

"Good!" her mother said cheerfully.

"More like the size of a beached whale!"

"It can't be that bad," Shelby tried to soothe.

Rachel opened the changing room door, "Really?"

Shelby could see that the material of the jeans were cutting into skin, and they weren't even buttoned up, "Ah...ok, not to worry".

"Easy for you to say!" Rachel huffed.

"Change back into your clothes," Shelby instructed, "I know just the thing we need".

"Pizza!" Santana hollered as she walked in the front door, Brittany hot on her heels.

"Took your sweet ass time," Puck was the first to appear the top of the stairs, "I'm starving. You couldn't have waited to screw until we'd eaten?"

Santana just glared at him.

"What's going on?" Quinn asked as she made her way towards the general noise.

"Puck's just being his usual ass self," Santana answered as if it were obvious.

"Do I have to tell you two to play nice?" Quinn rolled her eyes, why the pair of them always had to turn everything into a pissing contest she'd never know.

Artie appeared beside Quinn, paint somehow smeared across one of his lenses, "Food!"

"You look like a pirate," Brittany giggled.

"What?" Artie asked slightly confused, "Oh," he took of his glasses, "yeah I had a bit of an accident involving a paint can".

"Everyone to the lounge," Leroy's voice boomed from the top of the stairs.

Several minutes later everyone had found a spot to perch on or floor to sit on and were happily wolfing down their pizza.

"God this is so good," Tina said.

"It is pretty good pizza," Mercedes agreed, "where did you guys go to get it?"

Santana had a mouthful of pizza and couldn't answer right away so she just nodded at the box and rolled her eyes.

"Oh..." Mercedes laughed.

"So how's it going upstairs?" Artie asked.

"Pretty good," Hiram answered between mouthfuls, "at this rate we'll be finished in an hour or so".

"Providing we can put everything together," Leroy laughed. "What about you guys?"

"Chair's nearly dry," Quinn smiled as she reached over for another slice of pizza, "I'll double check it for any other spots that need touching up but I think I'll probably be able to bring it up soon".

"Don't hurt yourself," Hiram said, "for Gods sake! We'll never hear the end of it if you do".

"I'll be fine," Quinn rolled her eyes, "I got it up from the basement ok, didn't I?"

"Stop worrying so much," Puck joined in, "she's a big strong girl. Don't be fooled by how little she looks," he winked at the blonde.

"What about you Artie?" Tina asked.

"Yeah," Puck agreed, "is it nearly finished yet man? I really wanna see the final product".

"All in good time," Artie smiled, "I'm nearly finished, just waiting for the black to dry which it should be once we all get back to work and then I can get going with the gold".

Rachel looked at her mother dubiously, "Seriously?"

"What's wrong with them?" Shelby asked.

"It's just..." she picked at the edge of her sleeve nervously, "everyone always used to make fun of me for how I dressed, I don't want to go back to that again".

"They won't," Shelby smiled reassuringly, "plenty of the girls at Carmel wear them all the time, I think they're sort of the 'in' thing at the moment".

"Really?"

"I promise".

"Ok..." Rachel eyes the denim overalls cautiously, "I'll give them a try".

"Plus," Shelby added as her and Rachel walked towards the changing room with several pairs in hand, "just think, you won't have to do battle with buttons and zippers, you can just slide the straps off yours shoulders, it'll be much easier for you".

Rachel blushed, she couldn't believe that her mother was trying to help her out with a practical wardrobe for going to the bathroom when pregnant.

"4," Shelby told the assistant at the changing rooms and made her way inside, Rachel behind her.

"You'll be absolutely honest with me about how they look?" Rachel asked.

"Of course".

"You promise?"

Shelby smiled, the way Rachel had just asked her to promise made her feel like her mother, which she knew she was, it was just the first time she'd felt that way, "I promise".

"Wow," Tina said as she began to empty the many bags Leroy had returned with earlier, "she really did stock up didn't she?"

"Be thankful I didn't come back with more furniture," Leroy laughed.

"Awww," Mercedes held up one of the many baby-grows, "this is just too cute!"

"Make sure you tell her that," Leroy smiled, "she's so worried that she's not going to be ready and that she didn't pick out anything good this morning".

"How can she think that?" Tina asked, "Some of this stuff is just beyond cute!" She rifled through the bag next to her, "Erm...where are the bottles going?"

"Oh...erm..." Leroy thought about it for a moment, "do you know what? I'm not entirely sure," he laughed, "leave them in the bag for now, if we come across anything else we're not sure of we can put them in there, they'll probably end up in a cupboard in the kitchen eventually. Actually on second thoughts, anything that'll need washing, bottles, pacifiers, God only knows what else we bought today, put it in that bag so I can run them through the dishwasher later".

"Ok," Tina smiled, putting the items back in the bag and reaching for another bag.

"Mind your backs," Puck called out as he brought up one of the boxes he'd unloaded from his truck this morning.

"Do you need a hand with that?" Leroy asked.

"No worries, I've got it," Puck lowed the box to the ground, "hey...where'd Mike go? I was gonna get him to help me put this together".

"I think we went downstairs to grab a drink," Mercedes answered helpfully.

"Cool," Puck said stuffing his hands in his pockets, "would it be ok if I grabbed a drink from the fridge Mr. B?"

"Of course it is," Leroy laughed, "you don't have to ask Noah".

"Awesome, thanks," Puck made to leave the room before quickly turning to the others, "you guys want anything?"

"Are you ever going to come out of there?" Shelby laughed.

"I'm not sure what I think of them," Rachel's voice muffled through the wooden door.

"Well that's what I'm here for," Shelby shook her head. "Come on Rachel, I can't tell you how they look if you won't show me".

Slowly the changing room door began to open, Rachel took one look at her mother and began to shut the door, "I look stupid!"

Shelby grabbed hold of the door, "No you don't," she gently pushed the door open further, Rachel no longer fighting her on the matter, "why do you look stupid?"

"I don't know," Rachel answered, she felt awfully self-conscious today, well in all honesty she had done for the last week or so.

"Stay there," Shelby held up her finger, "give me one minute ok?"

"OK?" Rachel face scrunched up in confusion.

"Leave the door open," Shelby instructed before quickly vanishing from view.

Rachel stood there for a few moments looking at her feet (well trying to, she couldn't remember when she'd last been able to see them) awkwardly.

Shelby reappeared with the assistant that had given them their number, "Now then..." she smiled at Rachel hoping that she would understand that she was just trying to help, "I figured a second opinion would help".

Rachel's arms wrapped around her swollen stomach, very aware of how long she looked and how heavily pregnant she was now looking.

"I see your problem," the assistant said.

"You do?" Rachel asked, feeling relief that someone else thought that the dungarees didn't quite look right.

"Could you put your arms by your side for a moment?" The assistant asked.

Rachel looked at Shelby nervously.

"It's ok Rachel," Shelby nodded, "I'm not going anywhere".

Reluctantly, Rachel unwrapped her arms from around her body.

"Yep," the assistant said matter of factly, "I thought as much".

"What?" Rachel asked feeling a little panicky.

"It's nothing awful," the assistant promised, "it's just that you'll find that fitted tees or long sleeved tees look better with dungarees than a baggy shirt does".

Rachel blushed, she'd never given it any thought this morning when she got dressed. She was just so excited that she was going out with her daddy that she didn't even think about what to wear for when she went shopping with Shelby.

"See?" Shelby smiled warmly, "We can fix it. Thank you," she said to the assistant before turning back to her daughter, "why don't we keep hold of those for now and we'll go find some shirts?"

"Ok," Rachel smiled back before shutting the door to change back into her clothes.

"Is anyone in front of me?" Quinn called. She waited for a moment at the bottom of the stairs, "I'll take that as a no then," she muttered. She rested the chair on the first step so that she could look to see if anyone else was on the staircase or at the top of the stairs, "I'm coming up!" she yelled as she picked up the chair again and began climbing the stairs.

Puck was coming out of the room with the card when he saw Quinn's legs beneath a floating chair, "Q!" he rushed towards her and took the chair from her.

"Thanks," she said as she puffed a stray piece of hair out of her flushed face.

"Why didn't you call for help?" Puck asked before shouting, "Backs!" and taking the chair into the room.

"I was doing ok," Quinn answered a little defensively. "Wow..." she looked round the room, "is there actually anything left to do?"

"Not really," Tina answered as she passed by with the bag full of items to be put through the dishwasher.

"Just finishing touches," Mercedes added.

"Where are Hiram and Leroy?" the young mother asked.

"Putting stuff back in the basement," Mercedes said.

"This place looks great," Quinn couldn't help but stare at the room, yesterday she thought this would be impossible and yet here she was, the room practically finished, "what can I do to help?"

Mercedes pointed over towards the bag just inside the door, "Seeing as you're probably the most experienced person here," she laughed playfully, "you wanna make that up for me?"

Quinn looked inside the bag and laughed, "You're so mean to me!"

"Yo!" Puck shouted as he went into the backyard to find Mike and Artie chatting, "how's it going?"

"Pretty much all done my man," Mike beamed.

"I know that fool!" Puck laughed, "I meant my boy here," he nodded towards Artie, "how's it going Picasso?"

"All done," Artie smiled, "wanna see?"

"Hell yeah!" Puck said as he made his way over to Artie's impromptu little work station, "Dude, she's gonna flip when she sees it".

"You think?" Artie asked nervously, he was so worried about giving this to his best friend.

"Of course man," Mike agreed, "it looks awesome".

"Thanks guys," Artie smiled, feeling a little pleased with himself. "Hey...do you think one of you guys could put a hook on the door to hang it and then give it back once you know it hangs ok?"

"Erm...sure," Puck scratched the back of his neck, "but what'd you want it back for?"

"Well I figured if it was on the door when she gets back she'd figure it out," Artie laughed, "plus you know what she's like, she'll flip out that she didn't get to do anything so I figured she could hang this up as the finishing touch".

"Smart man!" Puck agreed.

"So," Shelby said casually, "you feeling better now that we've got your back to school clothes sorted".

"Yeah," Rachel smiled, "I think I am. Thank you".

"You're more than welcome".

"Not just for the clothes..." Rachel bit her lip as she carefully added, "for everything today. It's just...for the first time, I really feel like I have a mom".

Shelby's heart expanded in her chest, a rock landed in her throat, "I..." she tried to clear her throat, "you're welcome Rachel. I've enjoyed spending today with you".

Rachel stopped outside one of the stores and put her bags on the floor, "Can I hug you?" she asked nervously.

"Of course," Shelby put the bags she was carrying down with Rachel's and held her arms open for her daughter.

The pair stood in each others arms for several minutes, each enjoying each others presence and both feeling the connection that they had once searched for but failed to find during their encounter long before Rachel's world was turned upside down.

"My girl," Shelby said barely at a whisper, as she held her daughter close.

Rachel pulled back, aware that if she stayed this way she was liable to cry.

Shelby saw the shine of tears threatening to streak down the tanned skin and decided to change the subject, "You hungry?"

"Starved," Rachel laughed as she dabbed at the corners of her eyes with the sleeve of her hoody.

"Where would you like to go for dinner?"

"Well, I was thinking, I'm a little tired from all the shopping and walking round today so I wondered if maybe you'd like to come home with me and we could eat dinner there?" Rachel said tentatively.

"I think maybe you should run it past your dads first," Shelby said for two reasons; one, she didn't know if she'd be welcome in the Berry household yet and two, she had no idea how they were doing with their little mission.

"Ok," Rachel nodded in agreement, "I'll call them now".

"Leroy!" Quinn yelled from upstairs, "Your cell's ringing". She waited for an answer, but nothing came. She picked up the cell phone and checked the called ID, Rae flashed across the screen as it continued to ring. A mass of blonde blurred down the staircase and into the lounge.

"Quinn, you ok?" Mercedes asked looking at the girl as if she'd lost her mind.

"Leroy," she held the phone in the air, "Rachel!"

Leroy took the phone, "Thanks Quinn," and then yelled "Everyone be quiet!"

Silence filled the house and he took that as his cue to answer his cell, "Hi baby". He pressed loudspeaker and gently placed the phone on the arm of the chair he was sat in.

"Hi Daddy!" Rachel's voice crackled through the phone. There was always terrible reception at the mall.

"How's the shopping going?" he asked, trying to sound casual.

"Great, we're all done".

"That's great Rae, I can't wait to see what you got," Leroy motioned for Hiram to stop what he was doing and pay attention, "are you going to go out to dinner with Shelby?"

"Actually Daddy that's what I was calling you about".

"Oh?"

"I'm feeling a little tired from walking around all day".

"Well that's understandable Rae, you've been on the go ever since you got up".

"Well...I was wondering if it'd be ok if maybe Shelby came back with me and we could all have dinner together?"

"Hang on a second Rae," Hiram was shaking his head, 'be nice' Leroy mouthed back, "I think that should be ok sweetheart, where is Shelby? Can I talk to her quickly?"

"Sure hang on a moment...Daddy wants to talk to you..." the phone rustled as it was passed from one person to the other, "Hello?"

"Shelby," Leroy greeted.

"Hi Leroy".

"How is she?"

"She's good," her voice hushed for minute, "it was a little touch and go at one point".

"But everything's ok?" he asked worriedly.

"Absolutely, just tired from walking so much," she laughed, "I'm sure you remember how much I loved shopping when I was pregnant".

Leroy laughed back, "Oh God, don't remind me".

"Are you sure you're ok with me coming over? I understand if you and Hiram don't want me there".

"Don't be silly, Rae seems to have had a really good day with you".

"As long as you're sure".

"You're part of her life now, you should feel welcome here".

"Thank you".

"Ok, I'm going to ask you to pass me back to Rachel in a moment but listen, I'm going to tell her to take you the long way home so that we can make the place a little more presentable so we can hide the evidence of what we've been up to today ok?"

"Sure, ok".

"We'll see you soon".

"I look forward to it. Rachel..." more rustling, "Hi Daddy".

"Hey baby, listen I need you to do me a favour a ok?"

"Uhoh," Rachel laughed.

"Take Shelby the long way here ok? Give me and your dad a chance to make things all nice for her ok?"

"Thank you Daddy. I will".

"Ok baby, we'll see you soon".

"Bye Daddy, I love you".

"I love you too, bye baby".

The phone clicked as Rachel hung up.

"OK people," Leroy shouted, "you heard the girl, we've got maybe twenty minutes to clean this place up, move all the cars and get you all tucked away ready".

"It's this one on the left," Rachel said as they drove up her street.

"Looks nice," Shelby commented as she parked the car in front of the house without blocking the driveway.

"Wait til you see the inside," Rachel said excitedly.

Shelby killed the engine, her nerves suddenly beginning to feel raw as she realised that she was willingly entering the household of the two men who probably hated her after their encounter at the show choir competition. _Here goes..._

Rachel grabbed the shopping bags from the backseat and made her way to the front door, Shelby right behind her, "Could you hold these for a moment?" she asked indicating the bags in her hand.

"Of course," Shelby took the bags.

"Thanks," Rachel fished around inside her pocket for her keys, "ah...got it!" She opened the front door and called out, "I'm home!"

"Wow..." Shelby took in the front hall, "you're right Rachel, this place is beautiful".

"Hi there," Leroy greeted the pair, "oh goodness! You really did manage to get your clothes sorted out didn't you?"

"Sorry..." Shelby interjected before Rachel could speak, "that's my fault, I may have got a little carried away".

Leroy laughed, "Easily done with this one".

"Hey!" Rachel cried indignantly, "I'm standing right here!"

"I know," Leroy stuck his tongue out. "Why don't I take some of those bags and we'll all take them upstairs".

"Erm..." Rachel was a little confused as to why they all needed to go upstairs, "ok?"

"There's a surprise for you in your room," Leroy added as he began to climb the stairs.

"There is?" Rachel said excitedly, "What is it?"

Shelby laughed, "She's just as bad as I am".

"Worse," Leroy threw over his shoulder.

As they reached the top of the stairs Rachel overtook her father and opened her bedroom door.

"Hi beautiful".

"Quinn!" Rachel practically screeched before flinging herself at her girlfriend.

"Oof!" Quinn almost toppled over onto the bed when Rachel flung her arms around her, "I take it you missed me?" she laughed.

Rachel kissed her girlfriend deeply and then suddenly remembered that her parents were behind her, "Yeah..." she said as her face blushed, "I didn't think I was going to get to see you until Monday".

"Surprise," Leroy laughed.

"Erm..." Rachel took Quinn's hand and led her girlfriend to the where her mother was standing, "Shelby, I'd officially like for you to meet my girlfriend...Quinn".

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Shelby smiled politely.

"Likewise," Quinn nodded, _Note to self: ask Rachel for update on the situation with her and Shelby._ "Ahem! So Rae, it's possible that I missed you lots and was a little bored without you..."

"I highly doubt you were bored with Beth to keep you busy...wait...where is Beth?" Rachel asked hurriedly.

"Don't worry, she's safe I promise," Quinn couldn't help but feel her heart melt at the concern Rachel had for her daughter. "As I was saying it's possible I was a little bored and well...there's another surprise for you but I need you to trust me ok?"

"Wait...what's going on? Did something bad happen to someone and you're all trying to protect me?" Rachel suddenly put her defences up.

"Rach," Quinn cupped her opposites face in her hands and gently kissed her lips, "it's me, ok? Me and you. You trust me right?"

"With my life," Rachel whispered.

"Nothing bad has happened baby," she tucked a stray strand of dark hair behind an ear, "we just wanted to do something special for you ok?" Rachel nodded, "I'm going to cover your eyes with my hands ok?"

Rachel bit her lip nervously, "Only your hands will be on me right?"

"Promise," she kissed Rachel's cheek this time, "and I'll be walking behind you, I won't let anything happen to you".

Rachel took a deep breath, "Ok...I trust you".

"Ok, you ready?" the blonde asked as she stepped behind her girlfriend.

"I'm ready," Rachel said nervously.

Quinn covered her girlfriends eyes with her hands, "Can you see anything?"

"No".

"Ok," she pressed her lips to Rachel's shoulder, reassuring her that she wasn't going to leave her or let anyone else take over, "start walking ok?"

Leroy hurried in front of the girls and opened the spare bedroom door and stood inside the room and waited patiently, Shelby followed after the pair of girls, not wanting to encroach on anything.

"Where are you taking me?" Rachel asked.

"Shhh," Quinn whispered in her ear, "ok we're there".

"Did we even go anywhere?" Rachel laughed.

"You ready?" Quinn asked, ignoring Rachel's question.

"You'll stay with me?"

Quinn leant forward so that her mouth was besides Rachel's ear, "Always".

"Ok," Rachel nodded, she was a little worried, she had no idea what was going on but she trusted Quinn and focused on that, "I'm ready".

Quinn removed her hands from Rachel's eyes and wrapped them around her midsection, "Surprise baby".

Rachel looked at the faces that had all somehow managed to fit into the room, "What are you all doin..." her words trailed off as her brain finally caught up to the images her eyes were capturing, "Oh my God..." as she turned to look at the room she was overwhelmed, this time the emotions sent her over the edge, there was no way she could stop the tears that began racing down her cheeks.

The walls were painted. Shelves lined the wall by the window, books and toys lining them. In front of the actual window barely visible behind all the faces was a white rocking chair. The other side of the window, a crib with beautifully hand carved animals in the wood, the fleece blanket she had bought her daughter waiting to be used, the stuffed rabbit that Artie had bought rested on the pillow, a mobile of stars hung above it. The wall closest to her by the door, directly opposite the window had a changing station, already stocked with some of the supplies that she had bought earlier that day with her daddy. The last wall had a chest of drawers and wardrobe, each beautifully painted with stars in an assortment of colours.

"Do you like it Rae?" Quinn whispered.

"This is..." Rachel was lost for words, beautiful didn't even begin to describe this, "when on earth did you do all this?"

"Today," Hiram smiled at his daughter.

"But how?"

"We all helped," Puck stepped forward.

"Yeah," Artie smiled, "we just need to add the final finishing touch".

Rachel laughed, "That one you're going to have to wait for".

"Hilarious!" Artie's voice oozed sarcasm, "As impressive as it would be for you to give birth on command that's not what I'm on about".

Everyone laughed.

"Then what?" Rachel asked, eager to know what else could be done to this already perfect room to complete it.

"I need you to hang this on the door," Artie pulled his creation out from behind his back.

Rachel took the piece of wood and studied it, "Did you buy this?"

"Artie made it," Tina said proudly.

"You made it?" Rachel asked.

"Well I had to get the wood cut, but yeah," he blushed.

Rachel's watery eyes took in Artie's creation. The wood was cut into the shape of a magicians hat.

"I just figured," Artie said, "that it'd only be right right that Mini Houdini had something on her door just like her mommy".

The hat was painted to look like your traditional magicians hat, black with white trim, except this one was different, this one was special. In the centre of the hat was a large gold star, not quite as large as the one on Rachel's door but that was kind of the point.

Rachel tapped Quinn's hands signalling for her to let go for a moment, she reached forward and wrapped her arms around Artie's neck, "Thank you".

"Don't thank me woman!" Artie laughed, "Hang it up and finish this sucker off!"

Rachel wiped at her eyes and hung the hat on it's hook, eliciting a round of applause and a series of whoops from everyone in the room.

"Thank you," Rachel turned to face all of them, "all of you. This is so...beautiful". She wiped at her eyes again, wishing she could get the tears to stop flowing, "I don't know whether to hug you all or kill you," she laughed.

"I veto the killing," Mercedes laughed.

"I'm with her," Mike agreed.

"How about..." Hiram interrupted, we all go downstairs and we'll order some dinner?"

Unsurprisingly everyone agreed and began to filter downstairs, even Shelby was talking away with Leroy. Rachel and Quinn were the last ones upstairs. Rachel couldn't take her eyes off of the room and everything her family had done for her.

"So," Quinn stood beside Rachel, "is it what you hoped it would be?"

"It's better," Rachel answered quietly.

"I'm sorry for keeping this from you," Quinn took Rachel's hand, "you have no idea how much I hated keeping something secret from you".

Rachel laughed and kissed the blonde, "I love you".

"I love you too Rae".

"I guess we'd better join the others," Rachel said, "I'm not sure about you but I'm kind of starving".

"Ditto," Quinn said as she gave Rachel's hand a squeeze, "c'mon, let's get you fed".

**Attention:** Hello all! So…what'd y'all think of this chapter? Ridiculously long right? LOL

So my question remains the same as before:

Dirty Little Secret is nearly finished, sequel?

a) Yes

b) No

c) Other (comment)

As always a big thank you to my girl **Davis B.P** for always helping me with my writing. She's a very big part of this chapter, if it weren't for here I'd probably still be trying to figure out what the hell is going on LOL so yeah a HUGE thank you to her. Also you should go thank her anyways as if it weren't for her this story would be dead and there'd be no chance of a sequel. So…get your butts moving and thank her by reading and reviewing her awesome story!

Also a big thank you to my mate **chunkmunk09** for proofing this chapter for me, without her there'd be a lot more errors than there probably are LOL cheers for all your help.

Also, no more suggestions are being taken for baby names. Rachel's daughter now has a name, but you will not be finding it out until the baby is born…sorry! LOL

So, I hope you all enjoyed this update. Please review, pretty please? Reviews help keep me motivated and often enough they prompt an idea or two as well!


	73. Chapter 73

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **First week back at McKinley and as always nothing ever runs smoothly LOL

**Warning: **Some sickly sweet moments are sure to follow through the last week before school chapters LOL

**Disclaimer: I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.**

**Monday**

"You ready?" Quinn asked.

"No," Rachel laughed, "I'd quite happily spend all day sat here".

"Sorry baby," Quinn felt awful for not being able to ease Rachel's nerves, "but we gotta get outta the car and get into school".

"I know," Rachel said deflatedly.

"It'll be ok Rae," she took a tan hand within one of her own pale hands, "I promise. I'm not going to let anything happen to you".

Rachel laced her fingers with her girlfriends, "I know..." she sighed, "guess we'd better go in then".

Quinn got out of the car, grabbed her and Rachel's bags from the back seat and went round to Rachel's door, "Madame," she smiled playfully as she offered Rachel her arm.

Rachel laughed, "Why thank you," she attempted a curtsy once she'd extracted herself from the car which only caused her to giggle even more, "you've been spending far to much time with my daddy".

"I have no idea what you're on about".

"Definitely too much time with daddy," chocolate eyes rolled.

Quinn clicked the lock button on her key fob, before linking her arm through Rachel's and heading across the parking lot.

"Q!" Brittany came running up to them.

"Hi B," Quinn smiled warmly.

"Hi Britt," Rachel smiled half-heartedly, her heart in her throat as they got closer to the schools entrance.

"Where's S?" Quinn asked.

"Coffee," Brittany shrugged, "I saw you guys and thought I'd head in with you".

"The more the merrier," Quinn agreed, "right Rae?"

"Uh huh," by this time they were crossing the threshold and entering the manic hallways of McKinley.

"Awww," Brittany cooed, "look at how little all the new kids are".

Quinn couldn't help but smile at her friend.

Rachel kept her eyes focused on the floor, she didn't want to inadvertantly draw attention to herself.

The girls stopped at Rachel's locked and Quinn finally relented Rachel's bag.

"Thanks," Rachel started rummaging for the pen and notepad she planned on taking to her first classes and stuffed her cell in her pocket, "I could've carried my bag in you know?"

"I know," Quinn shrugged, "just wanted to help, after all, not all chivalry is dead".

"Chivalry is dead?" Brittany's brow furrowed in confusion, "Who's Chivalry?"

Rachel focused on the task at hand, highly aware that some of the newer students were staring at her, she could feel their gaze burning into the back of her neck.

"No one B," Quinn placed a hand on the taller blondes shoulder, "it's just an expression".

"Oh...I don't get it".

"That's ok B, not a lot of people do," Quinn said reassuringly.

The whispers had begun and Rachel suddenly regretted coming back to school more than she had anticipated. She slammed her locker and turned to Quinn, "I'm going to go to class".

"You sure?" Quinn asked a little confused about what the rush was.

"Yeah..." Rachel tugged on her sleeve nervously, "I just want to sit down".

"Ok," Quinn knew that Rachel was lying but it was the first day back and her girlfriend was already under enough stress so she decided not to push it, "I'll walk you to class".

"Me too," Brittany chirped.

The trio of friends navigated their way through the crowded halls and found Rachel's first class.

"I'll see you at lunch?" Quinn asked nervously, she suddenly felt as though Rachel may slip away and hide from the world again.

"Yeah," Rachel delibirately brushed her hand against Quinn's, "I'll meet you at my locker?"

"Ok," Quinn smiled, "we'll see you then," it was incredibly difficult to resist the urge to kiss the tiny diva goodbye, "Come on B, let's go".

"Bye Rach," Brittany waved and turned away to follow Quinn.

Rachel said a silent prayer when the bell rang signalling the end of class and the start of lunch. _Half-way there._ All morning whispers and stares had followed her, even those of her classmates, who were a little shocked that 1) she was actually in school as they all thought she probably would never return to McKinley and 2) because of the sheer size of her baby bump. By the time Rachel had made it to her locker to say she was in a bit of a grouch was more than an understatement.

"Hi," Quinn greeted warmly, she already waiting at Rachel's locker with Mercedes in tow, "how was your morning?"

Rachel flung open her locker door unceremoniously, "Ugh..." she shoved her notepad and pen back in her bag and rooted around her bag for her wallet, "I can not wait for today to be over".

"Is it really that bad?" Quinn wished she could envelop the smaller girl in her arms and kiss away her troubles.

"Everyone is whispering and staring at me, even the people that were here last year," Rachel uttered sadly.

"Oh Rach..." Quinn suddenly felt helpless.

"Ignore them baby girl," Mercedes chimed in.

"Easy for you to say, you're not the one they're whispering about".

"What's up bitches!" Santana greeted, Brittany by her side.

Hazel eyes rolled at the apparently upbeat Latina, "Jeez S how many shots did you have this morning?"

"I stopped counting after seven," the Cheerio shrugged, "what do I care, caffeine buzz makes the first day back that little bit more interesting than it actually is".

"You're gonna come down with one hell of a bang later," Quinn laughed.

"Whatevs," Santana eyed Rachel's new clothes, "wow Berry when'd you learn to pick out clothes that actually make you look good?"

"Probably around the same time you learnt that you're supposed to wear panties under your Cheerio uniform," Rachel spat back before she'd even thought it through.

The Latina's jaw dropped open in surprise.

"Damn!" Mercedes laughed.

"Rachel!" Quinn couldn't believe her ears.

_Shit!_ "Santana..." Rachel stuttered, "I...I'm s-so sorry! I didn't me-"

Santana interrupted, "Christ Berry, I'm impressed!"

Rachel stood there dumbfounded, she'd really expected a remark like that to result in her ending.

"You got your shit?" Santana asked as though nothing had happened.

Rachel nodded numbly.

"Good," Santana linked her arm with Rachel's and started walking towards the cafeteria, "Q, shut her locker will ya?" she threw over her shoulder.

Mercedes, Quinn and Brittany all stood there looking confused before Quinn shut Rachel's locker and the trio of girl started after the other girls.

"I gotta say Berry I really am impressed".

"I'm so sorry Santana," Rachel's words rushed together, "I really didn't mean it. I just...today's been..."

"People giving you shit?" Santana asked seriously.

"It's like it's happening all over again," Rachel tried to refrain from crying, "everyone's staring and whispering".

"Berry you're forgetting one VERY important thing," Santana's eyes scanned the hall.

"What's that?" Rachel sniffled.

"It's the first day of school and most of the starers are newbies," Santana patted Rachel's hand, "observe...see that boy there?"

"The one staring?"

"Yeah and rather obviously might I add," Santana was not impressed, "well he's about to learn that first impressions are everything".

"I'm not sure I understand".

"Wait for it..." Santana watched as the boy grew closer, his gaze never leaving Rachel, "a little closer...almost..." the Cheerio stuck her foot out to the side, catching the unsuspecting boys ankle and sending him flying to the floor face first, "there!" she said pleased with herself.

"Santana!" Rachel scolded, "What if he's hurt?"

"Like I care," she shrugged, "my point is Berry, they can whisper and stare as much as they want to, but they've yet to realise that I've got your back".

Rachel smiled weakly, "Thank you".

"I told you, no one gets to mess with you, except me".

"Just do me a favour?" Rachel laughed.

"What's that?"

"No more injuries please?"

"I can't promise anything".

**Wednesday**

"Quinn you have to be on my side about this," Rachel whined as they made their way to Glee club.

"I don't know Rach," the blonde really didn't want to agree to this, "I'm not sure it's a good idea".

"Why not?" the Glee's star pouted.

"Ok that's not fair!"

"What's not?"

"Pouting!" Quinn was really struggling, "That's just being a tease because," her voice dropped to a whisper, "I can't kiss you and I really want to".

"Sorry," Rachel blushed, "but why isn't it a good idea?"

"Rae," Quinn laughed, "you're pregnant!"

"So where you!" Rachel was determined to win.

"That's not the point!"

"Actually Quinn, it kind of is the point," she stopped just outside the door of the choir room, her hands on her hips, "I just want to be able to dance, Mr. Schue will have me sat down all the time and I'm pregnant, not unable".

"I still don't think-"

"You were dancing until just before your waters broke," Rachel threw in knowing that Quinn would have no way to argue that.

Quinn huffed and ran her fingers through her hair in exasperation, "Ok, I give up, you win! I'll help you talk to Mr. Schue, but I swear if you go into labour mid-routine I am washing my hands of anything to do with it".

"Thank you," Rachel tiptoed and kissed Quinn's cheek, losing sense of where she was for a moment, "you're the best".

"Yeah, yeah," Quinn muttered.

**Friday**

"So what's everyone doing after school?" Mercedes asked as she made her way to Glee with Rachel, Quinn, Tina and Santana.

"Me and B have gotta go Cheerios," Santana sighed, she could think of many other things she'd rather being doing Brittany on a Friday after school, "Coach seems to be on a bit of a bender at the minute".

"That sucks," Quinn felt bad for her best friend, she knew exactly how it felt to be on the receiving end of one of Sue Slyvester's benders, "I thought you'd have at least until the middle of next week before she went off on one".

"Whatever," Santana shrugged, "she'll get bored soon enough, she always does".

"What about you guys?" Mercedes asked the rest of the group.

"Shelby's picking me up after practice," Rachel voiced nervously.

"Really Berry?" a finely shaped eyebrow arched, "That woman has caused nothing but trouble".

"She's not that bad," Rachel defended, "besides, she's really trying. I just want to give her a chance. We all make mistakes right?"

"Rachel's right," Quinn agreed, she'd seen how happy Rachel had seemed whenever she came back from a meeting with her mother.

"So it's going well?" Tina asked.

"Yeah," Rachel smiled, "I think it really is".

Puck and Finn were sat next to each other in the choir room, two new boys that they recognised from football tryouts sat directly in front of them.

"Dude," the one on the left said, "do you have any idea how gay this is?"

"Stop being a pussy, it's not like we're actually gonna be joining this bunch of freaks," the one on the right replied.

Puck clenched his fist, he knew that these two were going to cause trouble somehow.

"So do you think it's true?"

"What?"

"That the girls in here put out easy?"

Finn leaned over towards his ex-bestfriend, "Jackasses".

Puck nodded in agreement.

The guy on the right nudge the guy on the left in the ribs, "Check it out," he whispered, his eyes focused on the door as the girls all filtered in.

"Not bad," the kid on the right said, then all of a sudden perking up, "Dude, cheerios...score!"

"Where there's Cheerios you know there'll be sex," he sniggered.

"Looks like the girls in this club are beyond easy".

"Dude, what's she having triplets?"

"Haha yeah, maybe she's into gangbangs".

Puck and Finn exchanged a look before throwing themselves from their chairs and onto the boys in front of them.

"What the hell?" Mercedes yelled out in surprise.

"S," Quinn ordered as she approached the scuffle on the other side of the room, "grab Finn".

Santana and Quinn went to try and remove their fellow Glee clubbers from the fight that had broken out.

"For fucks sake Hudson," Santana had her arms wrapped around his neck, "let him fucking go".

"Not a chance," Finn shouted.

"Puck," Quinn banged her fists against his back, "what the hell are you doing?"

"You didn't hear what these dicks were saying," Puck continued to repeatedly bunching the squirming boy in the face.

"I don't care what he said!"

"It was about Rachel," Puck snarled.

Quinn stood there for a moment, her brain in two halves, one side telling her to let him beat the shit out of the guy, the other telling her to stop him before someone gets seriously hurt.

"Noah!" Rachel screamed, "Stop!"

The choir room was in full on chaos at this point when Mr. Schue walked into the room, "What the hell is going on here?"

Rachel stepped closer so that Puck would hear her and gently placed her hand on his shoulder, "Noah...please...stop".

Puck reluctantly stopped and stood up from the beaten boy, "Don't let me hear you talking about her like that again".

"Finn!" Mr. Schue yelled, "Enough!" he managed to pull the lanky boy off the freshman. "Now someone tell me what on earth is going on here!"

It didn't take long for Puck to explain his and Finn's motives for attacking the boys.

"While I understand why you did it," he looked at both of the boys, "I do not approve of it all. Violence is never the answer! You understand me?"

"Yes Mr. Schue," Puck and Finn muttered in unison.

"Take your seats," Mr. Schue instructed, "I'll talk to you about this after rehearsal".

Puck and Finn sulked back to their seats.

"As for you two," Mr. Schue rounded on the freshmen, "who the hell do you think you are?"

"We were only-"

"Did I give you permission to speak?" he took a breath, trying to reign in his anger, "This is your first week here and already you're causing trouble with seniors over something that you have no clue about!" He gave the younger boys a hard stare, "Principals office".

"But-"

"Now!" Mr. Schue demanded, "I'll be back in a moment," he told the Glee club before escorting the two boys to Figgins office.

"Well, I'll say one thing," Kurt tried to alleviate the mood, "it's never a dull moment in this club".

**Attention:** Hello all! So…what'd y'all think of this chapter? So my question remains the same as before:

Dirty Little Secret is nearly finished, sequel?

a) Yes

b) No

c) Other (comment)

As always a big thank you to my girl **Davis B.P** for always helping me with my writing. She's been so helpful with helping figure out what the hell is going on and believe me when I say that you're all in for a real treat soon! Go thank her by checking out her story!

Also, no more suggestions are being taken for baby names. Rachel's daughter now has a name, but you will not be finding it out until the baby is born…sorry! LOL

So, I hope you all enjoyed this update. Please review, pretty please? Reviews help keep me motivated and often enough they prompt an idea or two as well!


	74. Chapter 74

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Just a sweet piece of fluff before all the excitement that I have planned in the next chapter

**Warning: **Some sickly sweet moments are sure to follow through the last week before school chapters LOL

**Disclaimer: I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.**

**Sunday**

Quinn lay on Rachel's bed, Rachel's head on her chest and Beth taking a nap in her crib. Her slender fingers raked through the dark tendrils, "So how was it?"

"How was what?" Rachel asked dosily, she loved when people played with her hair, it was one of the things that always helped her to relax.

"Friday, with Shelby," the blonde prompted.

"Oh! It was good".

"Only good?"

"Better than good," Rachel smiled.

"Yeah?"

"Quinn?"

"Yeah baby?"

"What does it feel like to have a mom?" she asked nervously.

"What do you mean?"

"Well...you've always had a mom...I just wondered what it's like".

"I don't know how to describe it," Quinn answered honestly, "before my dad kicked me, I wasn't really that close to my mom".

"Oh".

"But, things are different now, it's nice," she searched for the words to try and describe what it was like to have a mom, "it's...I don't know Rae, I guess it's just a feeling you get. You know that she's there for you and will support you and take care of you I guess".

"Ok," Rachel said quietly.

"Why'd you ask?"

"Hmmm...if you keep stroking my hair like that I'm doing to fall asleep".

Quinn laughed, "Ok, I'll stop".

"No," Rachel whined, "don't stop. It's nice".

"If I keep going, you will actually fall asleep".

"Ok," Rachel yawned, "you win".

"I promise I'll play with your hair later baby," Quinn smiled.

"Yay!" Rachel forced herself to sit up and shuffled backwards so that her back was against the headrest.

"Hey!" Quinn shuddered from Rachel's disappearance, "You were keeping me warm".

"I know," Rachel giggled, "but you are far too comfortable and if I stay there I'll fall asleep".

The blonde rolled her eyes and joined her girlfriend, "Fine! You can make up for it by telling me why you asked about what it feels like to have a mom".

"It's probably going to sound stupid," Rachel blushed, for a moment she had forgotten the conversation.

"I'm sure it won't," Quinn rested her hand on Rachel's denim glad knee, "tell me".

"Ok...," she placed her hand on top of the one on her knee and interlocked her fingers, "Shelby was already at school on Friday, that's why she picked me up after Glee club".

"What was she doing at school?"

"She came in with dad to talk to Principal Figgins about I'd be able to take time off from school without falling behind".

"Oh...wait, Shelby went?" Quinn asked a little surprised.

"Yeah," Rachel laughed, "it was actually her idea".

"Wow".

"I absolutely agree".

"Did they manage to get it all sorted?"

"Yeah they did," Rachel smiled, "I'm not so worried about falling behind now, well, at least for the time being, I'm sure I'll feel differently once she's born".

Quinn shifted her body so that she was closer to her girlfriend, their shoulders touching, "You'll be ok you know?"

"I hope so," Rachel leant her head on the blondes shoulder and breathed in deeply, relishing the scent that was uniquely Quinn's, "anyways things with Shelby have been so different this time round, she's different and I don't know..."

"I think you do know," Quinn placed her other hand on top of Rachel's and traced small circles, "what is it?"

"I guess for the first time..." Rachel took a deep breath, this was the first time she'd admitted to anyone that this was how she was feeling, "I feel like I really have a mom you know?"

"That's great Rae," Quinn smiled, she could remember how devastated Rachel had been when Shelby had walked away the first time they had reunited.

"I asked her if she'd like to be there, when she's born".

"You did?"

Rachel nodded, chewing on her lip nervously, even though she knew that she could trust her girlfriend with anything she had felt unbelievably nervous about telling anyone what she had just revealed.

"I think that's great," Quinn said earnestly.

"You do?"

"Really," she nodded, "even though me and my mom hadn't spoken in God only knows how long and I was still so incredibly angry with her for letting my father kick me out, I was so relieved to have her there when Beth was born".

Rachel nodded, pleased that Quinn was on her side about this.

"Hey," Quinn nudged her slightly, "seeing as we're sharing secrets, you want to know one of mine?"

"Sure," Rachel said a little too eagerly, it wasn't often that Quinn opened up. She was more open than she had been at the start of their relationship, but Rachel knew that she still had a tendancy to bury things to try and be strong for her.

"For the first time," Quinn started, mimicking Rachel's words, "I feel like I really have a family. Things with mom are the best they've ever been, I have Beth, you, your dads," she stopped tracing girls on Rachel's hand and rested it on Rachel's swollen stomach, "her, Puck, Glee. For the first time in my life, I don't feel completely alone all the time".

**Attention:** Hello all! So…what'd y'all think of this chapter? So my question remains the same as before:

Dirty Little Secret is nearly finished, sequel?

a) Yes

b) No

c) Other (comment)

Also…are you all ready to watch Santana run around like a headless chicken? Is everybody ready to meet Rachel's daughter?

As always a big thank you to my girl **Davis B.P** for always helping me with my writing. She's been so helpful with helping figure out what the hell is going on and believe me when I say that you're all in for a real treat soon! Go thank her by checking out her story!

Also, no more suggestions are being taken for baby names. Rachel's daughter now has a name, but you will not be finding it out until the baby is born…sorry! LOL

So, I hope you all enjoyed this update. Please review, pretty please? Reviews help keep me motivated and often enough they prompt an idea or two as well!


	75. Chapter 75

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Headless chicken Santana LOL

**Warning: **Some sickly sweet moments are sure to follow through the last week before school chapters LOL

**Disclaimer: I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.**

**Tuesday**

Rachel lay alone in her bed, trying to ignore the twinge of pain in her lower back but failing miserably. Slowly she rolled over and glanced at the time on her clock. 2:53 flashed at her tauntingly.

_Great!_ She sighed. _Quinn's going to kill me if she finds out about this._

The previous day at Glee practice the group had been running through a dance number that involved a twist and turn, the only problem being that Rachel did the twist and nearly lost her balance, much to her annoyance she was made to sit throughout the rest of practice.

_I can't believe this. _She rub at the spot on her back as she felt another twinge. _Ok, I do not approve of this in the slightest._

She rolled on to her back and stared at the ceiling, willing herself to fall asleep. She waited maybe ten, fifteen minutes before another twinge caused her to wince. _Ok, this is just ridiculous!_ She pushed herself so that she was sitting up and slowly rotated herself so that her legs were dangling from the bed. _Maybe if I stretch it'll help_. She placed one foot on the floor, then the other, her toes retracting and releasing against the carpet and stood up. _Ok, maybe not! Ow!_ All standing did was set the twinge off again. She glanced back at her clock, mocking her as it flashed 3:17 across the screen. _Yeah well...same to you._

Giving up on her hopes of being able to fall asleep anytime soon Rachel waddled to her en suite and turned the shower on as hot as it would go in hopes that the steam and water would help ease her obviously sore muscles.

By the time the bell rang for lunch Rachel was beyond tired, despite her nice, long, hot and quite relaxing shower she had found herself unable to fall back asleep. She was one of those unfortunate people who once they were up, that was it, they're up. Her back still provoked her, like a small child consistently poking a bruise and the pain seemed to have spread around to her front.

"Hi Rae," Quinn beamed, happy to see her girlfriend.

"Hey," Rachel managed to say whilst attempting to stifle a yawn.

"Christ Berry," Santana said as she took her place at their lunch table, "what the hell happened to you?"

Rachel took her place beside Quinn and tried to take a sneaky breath in so that no one would realise she was in pain.

"Rae," Mercedes stared at the small diva with worried eyes, "you ok?"

"I'm fine," Rachel said not even convincing to her own ears. _It's never a good thing when you're acting sucks to yourself, God, I'm so tired!_

"No offence Berry," the Latina picked up, "but you look like shit".

"Thanks," Rachel mumbled as she tried to focus on the food in front of her, her vision blurring slightly from being so tired.

Quinn, feeling safe in the confines of their table, rested a hand on her girlfriends knee, "You ok baby?"

"I didn't sleep very well," Rachel answered. _Bit of an understatement._

Puck walked over to the table, tray of food balanced in one hand, "Woah Rach!"

"Don't worry," Santana said, "she knows...she looks like shit, I already told her".

"I hate to agree with Lopez," Puck said as he slid in at the end of the table, "but you're not looking so hot".

"Ok," Rachel snapped, "I get it! I look like crap! I didn't sleep very well ok?" She lifted up her arms and began to wave them about, emphasising her point, "Now can we drop it? I got the memo, today's not a good day to look like-" she moved the wrong way and hissed as the twinge decided to increase from an irritating child poking a bruise to a drunken ass punching a bruise.

"Rachel!" Quinn was worried, "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing," Rachel lied.

"Really Berry?" Santana arched her eyebrows, "Wanna lift that arm up again?"

Rachel stared at the table, her cheeks tinging red as she realised that she had been caught out and was about to be lynched.

"Rae?" Mercedes eyes never left the girl, "Do you need me to get the nurse?"

"Guys I'm fine, I promise," her words were met with disbelieving silence, "Ok, fine! I think I pulled something when I nearly fell yesterday during rehearsal ok?"

"That's it," Mercedes scolded, "I'm gonna talk to Mr. Schue, no more dancing for you until that baby's born".

"But-" Rachel tried to argue.

"Don't even try and argue with this Berry," Santana said sternly, "Cedes is right. You're done. Finished".

"I'm ok," Rachel tried again.

"Rach..." Quinn's voice was soft and gentle, "please don't fight us on this?"

"I just..." Rachel deflated, "I don't want to let you guys down, I'm going to miss so much with rehearsals and I wanted to practice as much as I could before..."

Quinn squeezed her knee gently, "We know that baby, but you have no idea how much we all love you and that little girl of yours".

"She's right you know," Kurt interrupted, "as annoying as you can be at times, we really do love you".

"And I will not be impressed," Artie chimed in, "if my when I get my first dibs cuddles with Mini Houdini I find out she's got a huge dent because her mom decided to be a stubborn ass and fell dancing when she shouldn't be".

"Anyway," Puck added, "you could never let us down Rachel, I mean we wouldn't even have a chance at Nationals if it weren't for you".

"Then it's settled," Mercedes smiled triumphantly, "no more dancing Rachel Berry until after baba is born, agreed?"

"Agreed," the table said in unison.

"I hate all of you," Rachel laughed half-heartedly.

"Suck it up Berry," Santana smirked, "you love us and you know it!"

Rachel glanced at the clock, only ten more minutes left of class and then she'd be on to her final class of the day and then home free. _Thank God this day is almost over._ As hard as she tried, she was struggling to keep her eyes open throughout her classes. If it weren't for the pain that surged through her every so often she had no doubts whatsoever that she would've fallen asleep in class long before now.

"Any questions?" the teachers voiced stirred Rachel from her daze.

_8 more minut...oh God! _She slapped her hand over her mouth and shot her hand up in the air.

"Yes?" the teacher stared at her for a moment before realising that Rachel's hand wasn't up to ask a question, "Go!"

Rachel stood and bolted from the room, her belongings left at her desk and forgotten about for the time being.

Santana made her way idly through the hallways to her class along with the rest of the stragglers, she was going to be late to class, she knew this. Hell! She planned this. _New teachers are always so much fun to play with. _She would never admit this to anyone but the new teacher was actually alright, it probably helped that chemistry was Santana's favourite and easiest class. _Just as easy as getting the right quantity of alcohol with a mixer._ She smirked to herself as she adjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder and casually strode into class.

"Late again I see Miss. Lopez," the teacher said from her desk.

"Apparently so miss what-ever-your-name-is," Santana shot back as she gave the 'fresh meat' a challenging stare.

The teacher sighed, there was always that one awkward student sent to make your life a living hell, "Just take a seat".

Santana stood rooted to the spot staring at the bag on teachers desk.

"I said take a se-"

"Why do you have that?" Santana interrupted.

"I said-"

"I heard what you said," the Latina snapped, causing the class to erupt in hushed conspirital whispers, "did you not hear me? Why do you have that bag?"

"It was left behind," the woman pinched the bridge of her nose, she was fast losing her patience.

"That's Berry's bag," Santana said out loud without realising it.

"To be quite honest Miss. Lopez I don't really care whose bag it is," she glared at Santana, "now take a seat or get out of my classroom there are-"

Santana had already left the room, she knew the end of that sentence, she'd heard it so many times over the years. _There are some students in this class that wish to learn! Bite me bitch!_ She rounded the corner and tried to put the pieces together. _Berry wouldn't do another vanishing act, would she? Q's in class so she's not with her. Think! _She slowed her pace when it suddenly dawned on her to start checking the bathrooms and Rachel's locker.

_Well her that was a bust!_ Santana's chest heaved as she continued to run to her next destination and suddenly slammed on the brakes. _You silly bitch. You check her locker first and the bathroom opposite but not the bathroom closest to her last class?_ She set off at run back in the direction she came from thankful that her Cheerios uniform made it so easy for her to move as quick as she could. Slamming open the door she darted into the bathroom.

"Berry? You in here?" _Nothing._

Only one stall had a closed door. _Fuck!_ Santana walked over to the sink to quickly splash some cold water on her face and turned to leave the bathroom. That's when she heard it.

"Hello?" she took a step back towards the closed stall, she knew she'd heard a whimper or something, "Look I know you're there so you may as well answer me..." she waited, still nothing. She dropped to her hands and knees to look under the door, hoping that she'd be able to identify whoever it was from their shoes. _Shit, I don't even know what shoes she's wearing...fuck it! _Her vision was obscured by a mess of jet hair. "Rachel?" she yelled as she ran into the stall beside the locked one and clambered onto the porcelain bowl to look into the next stall.

"Berry!" Santana suddenly felt a surge of cold terror, "Stay there. Don't move, I'm coming over".

She hoisted herself over the stall wall and managed to place her feet on the top of the cistern and lowered herself to the floor so that she was crouched on the floor beside Rachel.

Rachel's face was clammy and pale as she lay on the cool tiled floor curled up, tears silently racing down her face.

"Come on Berry," Santana rested the back of her hand against Rachel's forehead, "don't do this to me".

Terrified eyes stared up at the Latina, "Make it stop," the small girl sobbed.

"Make what stop?" Adrenaline flooded Santana's body as she tried to fight fear with logic. "I can't help if you don't tell me".

"I'm not ready," Rachel continued, "it's too soon".

"Berry!"

"Please?"

"Come on Rachel," Santana gently placed her hands underneath Rachel's shoulder, "I'm going to help you sit up ok?"

Rachel nodded.

Carefully Santana managed to get Rachel so that she was upright and sat where the divas head had been moments before so that she could help keep her upright. She finally had a chance to see Rachel fully, head to toe. Her jet locks were a tangled mess, the collar of her shirt had clear been pulled at repeatedly, a strap from her overalls hung from her shoulder, her legs...

"Is that what I think it is?" Santana asked, fear suddenly returning.

"It's not supposed to happen yet," Rachel cried before she whimpered in pain.

"Shit!" Santana stood up, "Stay here!"

Rachel grabbed hold of Santana's hand, "Don't leave me," she pleaded.

Santana crouched back down, holding Rachel's hand and cupping her cheek with the other, "I'll be right back I promise".

"Please?"

"I'm going to get help," Santana said as gently as she could, "I'll only be a few minutes ok?"

"You will come back?"

"I promise you Berry," she squeezed the divas hand, "I'll pull the door shut behind me, don't open it for anyone but me ok?"

Rachel nodded and reluctantly let go of Santana's hand.

"I'll be back," Santana shouted as she bolted out of the door and propelled herself as fast as she physically could through the quiet corridors. _Q! Where's Q? Think...English!_ She rounded another corner and barrelled through the door of room 213.

"Can I help you?" the teacher barked.

Santana's eyes scanned the room for her best friend, she didn't know a single person in this class except for...

"Release the brake!" she yelled as she ran to where Artie was sat.

"You can't just barge in here and take a student from his desk without an explanation!" the mans face was turning beetroot.

"What's going on?" Artie asked clearly confused.

"Rachel," and that was all she needed to say, Artie took off his brakes, and allowed Santana to race him out of the classroom, leaving the teacher yelling after them.

"Where is she?" Artie asked.

"Never mind that," Santana shot back, "what the hell class was that?"

"English," Artie answered.

"Then where the hell was Q?" Santana demanded.

"AP English".

"Oh fucking hell!" Santana practically screamed as she steered Artie with one hand and rummaged through her bag with another.

"I think it's this room on the right," Artie said helpfully.

Santana stopped, abruptly jolting Artie in his chair, "wait here!" and she barged into another class.

"What the-" the teacher yelled startled as the door flung open.

Santana was sure the teacher was yelling something or other at her but she wasn't listening, her eyes were wildly searching for the blonde that she required. Her eyes zeroed in as soon as she realised the hazel orbs were staring at her as though she were crazy.

"S?" Quinn called, "What the hell are y-"

"Shut up!" the Latina yelled, her nerves raw at this point, she was highly aware that Rachel was alone in the bathroom terrified. "Berry! Car!" she threw her car keys at Quinn, "Get now!"

Quinn was on her feet as soon as her best friend mentioned Rachel, "Tell me where she is, you can get the car!"

"If I drive right now it won't end well," Santana said as she began to turn Artie round and make her way down the hall, "Don't fucking argue with me right now Q! Get the damn car and meet us out front!"

"Where are we going?" Artie tried to ask, "What? Wait...I can't go in ther-"

"Shut it Wheels!" Santana said as she backed up Artie through the bathroom door. "Berry, it's me!" She parked Artie by the sinks in front of the cubicle, "Stay!" she commanded and carefully opened the cubicle door so that she could pop her head in to check that Rachel was actually still there.

"It hurts," Rachel said pitifully.

"I know," Santana entered the cubicle and resumed her crouch besides Rachel, "can you stand up for me?"

"Everything was spinning, so I sat..."

"Ok...don't worry about it," Santana placed her feet firmly on the floor, "trust me ok?" She didn't even wait for an answer before she placed one arm under the small girls legs and the other behind her back and carefully lifted her from the ground. "You still there Wheels?"

"Yeah, I'm here".

"You got your brakes on? I don't want to drop her cos you rolled backwards".

Artie quickly secured his brakes, "I'm ready".

"Ok," Santana reached out with her foot to make sure Artie was in front of her, "You're ok Berry, I got you," she soothed as she gently lowered Rachel down on to Artie's lap.

"Hey Houdini," Artie released the brakes and wrapped his arms around the girl in his lap, "starting the party without me?"

"Something's wrong," Rachel sniffled as she wrapped her arms around Artie's neck, "it's too early".

Santana had already wheeled them out of the bathroom and was heading to the front doors of the school.

"It's ok," Artie tried to calm her nerves, but even he was a little worried, "she's just as impatient as her mom".

Santana stopped in front of the car idling outside the doors, "Ok Rachel," she moved to open the back door of the car and cleared all the crap off of the seats onto the floor, "time to go".

"I'll be right behind you," Artie said, as Rachel released her grip around his neck and wrapped her arms around Santana who carefully lowered the girl into the car.

"Stay here," the Latina instructed, "Rachel's stuff is in 75, let B know where we...what?" she stuck her head inside the car quickly before returning, "Find Puck when the bell rings, tell him where we've gone and that he needs to pick up Beth, then meet us there, Q's got her cell call when you get there," she said as she climbed into the back seat, carefully lifting Rachel's head and placing it back on her lap. "Go!" she yelled as she shut the door.

**Attention:** Hello all! So…what'd y'all think of this chapter? So my question remains the same as before:

Dirty Little Secret is nearly finished, sequel?

a) Yes

b) No

c) Other (comment)

Right I know I said that this chapter would also be the birth of Rachel's daughter, but I promise that will be the next chapter. Which means…there's only two chapters left of Dirty Little Secret! Sad days huh?

As always a big thank you to my beautiful girl **Davis B.P** for always helping me with my writing. I'm seriously beginning to think she's my muse. She has helped me so much with this story. Go thank her by checking out her story! Thank you baby girl, if it weren't for you this story wouldn't be possible. I love you!

So, I hope you all enjoyed this update. Please review, pretty please? Reviews help keep me motivated and often enough they prompt an idea or two as well!


	76. Chapter 76

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Baby time!

**Warning: **No warnings this time, just a reminder to please review and also be kind about what's at the bottom of this chapter.

**Disclaimer: I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.**

* * *

Quinn's eyes kept flicking to the review mirror to check on her girlfriend, one hand on the steering wheel, the other fumbling in her pocket for her cellphone. "How you doing baby girl?"

"Why would anyone choose to go through this willingly?" Rachel replied, Santana had been keeping her talking to try and distract her and keep her panic to a minimum.

"I don't know," Quinn laughed nervously, as her fingers finally wrapped around her cell. She hit speed dial, suddenly thankful that Hiram had insisted that she had all the contact numbers for him and Leroy and even reluctantly Shelby. She tapped her fingers impatiently on the steering wheel as the phone began to ring. The car in front of her started to brake, "Oh come on, get outta-" her words dropped quickly and changed as the phone stopped ringing, "Hello? Yes, Leroy Berry please.". She waited a moment, trying to keep herself in control of the situation but whoever it was on the other end was pushing her too far, "Listen bitch, I don't care if it's the most important meeting he'll ever have! I have his daughter in the backseat and we're on our way to the hospital," suddenly the woman on the other line changed her attitude. "Yeah, I'll hold, just hurry". She glanced over her shoulder, feeling guilty that it was Santana's hand her girlfriend was currently clinging to and not her own, "Leroy!"

"Fuck! Berry, I'd like to be able to use my hand once all of this is over," Santana half shouted.

Quinn shook her head, "Yeah, we're about...maybe five, ten minutes away," _Providing this ass gets his car out of my damn way! _"Yeah...ok, I'll call her next. Bye". She dropped the phone on to her lap and used her now free hand to reach back in between the seats to gently squeeze Rachel's arm, "You daddy's going to pick your dad up and meet us there Rae".

Rachel managed to squeak out, "Ok," as she felt the pain return.

"Ok...ow!" the Latina stared down and at Rachel, "I'd like to be able to have sex again y'know".

"I really didn't need to know that," Rachel attempted to laugh as the pain began to die back down.

"Just run it Q," Santana suggested as the car came to a halt at a red light.

"I can't," Quinn felt another wave of guilt, "it's not worth the risk".

"Fine," Santana huffed, "she's such a pain in the ass have you realised that yet Berry?"

The blonde picked her cell back up and took the red light as an oppurtunity to dial the next number, tuning out the conversation that was going behind her. She was thankful that her best friend was here. Ever since Santana and started to get Rachel talking in the car the frightened girl seemed to calm quite considerably, how long it would last Quinn didn't know but she was thankful that she was calm for now. The receiver clicked as the other line picked up, "Shelby!" Quinn practically yelled into her cell, "Hold on," the light had turned green, she shifted into gear and pulled away, "Listen, it's Rachel, we're on route to the hospital. Yeah that's the one. You have caller ID? Good, the number I'm calling on is the one you can get us on. See you there".

Rachel howled in pain.

"Q..."

"We're almost there," Quinn answered as she speeded up.

"Erm...Q?"

"What?"

"Hurry the fuck up before she breaks my hand!"

"Oh God!" Rachel winced, "Whose idea was this?"

"We're nearly there baby girl I promise," Quinn breathed a sigh of relief as the hospital came into view, "S?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm gonna park out front, go in grab a chair so we can bring her in," Quinn instructed.

"But-"

"Do it ok? I'll stay with Rae," as soon as they were at that hospital Quinn refused to leave Rachel's side, she hated that she was sat in the drivers seat and not in the back as it was.

"Ok," Santana agreed, secretly relieved that she would regain her hand and hopefully the feeling back in it, "Don't worry about the car, if it gets towed I'll deal with it later".

Quinn had barely stopped the car before she was out of the door and switching places with her best friend.

"I'll be quick," Santana promised as she dashed off.

"Hey beautiful," Quinn gently stroked Rachel's cheek, "sit up for me ok?"

"Quinn..." Rachel's voice was small and frightened as she slowly sat up.

"Yeah?"

"I'm scared".

"I know," she laced her fingers with her girlfriends, "it's all going to be ok I promise".

"Got it," Santana yelled as she returned wheeling a chair to the car door.

"Ok baby," Quinn got out of the car and leant back in, offering her hands to Rachel, "time to go".

Between Quinn and Santana, Rachel made it from the car in to her second wheelchair of the day. The calm she had felt in the car had vanished completely and suddenly the situation became too real as they entered the hospital and were directed to a room.

The doctor walked in to the room a second after the three girls had, "The nurse will bring you a gown to change into in a moment," he said as he glanced at Rachel whose face seemed to pale at his look, "I'm Dr. Jason, and you're name is?"

Rachel couldn't say anything, her mind was racing, suddenly her day went from scary to terrifying.

Quinn took Rachel's hand and knelt down to her level, "Rae?"

"It's Rachel Berry," Santana offered helpfully as she looked at the annoying diva.

"Talk to me sweetie," Quinn gently stroked dark hair out of the pale face she loved.

A nurse appeared and placed a gown on the bed before quietly leaving again as though she was never there.

Rachel swallowed, "I can't," her voice was barely a whisper.

"You can't what baby?"

"Him..." Rachel's thoughts were too jumbled, "I can't...not a man...please..."

"Ok baby," Quinn pressed her lips to Rachel's head as she stood up and whispered in Santana's ear.

Santana nodded. "Dr..." she drew a blank.

"Jason," he supplied helpfully.

"Dr. Jason," Santana recollected herself and steeled her composure, "can we talk outside for a minute?"

"Sure..." the doctors voice didn't hide his confusion as he left the room, the Latina right behind him.

Santana gave Quinn a quick nod and pulled the door shut behind her.

"You're ok baby," Quinn soothed.

"I just...it's stupid, I know it is," Rachel's words blended together, "I can't, not without my..."

"Shhh," Quinn cupped Rachel's face in her hands, "it's ok Rae, it makes sense I promise, it's not stupid".

"I'm sorry," Rachel cried, "oh God!" she wiped angrily at her eyes, "today is just not my day. I'm so tired".

Quinn unwrapped the gown that the nurse had bought in and began to unfasten the straps on Rachel's overalls, "I know," she smiled, "you can sleep as soon as this over though".

"I don't think I can do this".

"You can".

"I can't...I'm not strong enough".

"Rachel listen to me ok?" Quinn stopped what she was doing and locked hazel with chocolate, "I don't know a single person that's as strong as you. You can do this, I know you can".

Artie scanned the bustling halls of McKinley for Puck when Mr. Schue blocked his path.

"Artie!" Mr. Schue beamed, "I was hoping to bump into you".

"Now's not a great time," he weaved his head this way and that way to continue his search around his teachers body, "Mr. Schue".

"I just wanted to tell you that Principal Figgins has agreed to your proposal".

"Puck!" Artie shouted as he caught a glimpse of the boy in question.

"Artie?"

"Mr. Schue I really have to talk to Puck, it's important".

The tone in his students voice caught him off guard, "Noah!" he waved in his direction, "Come here a minute".

"What's up Mr. Schue?" Puck called as he sauntered over.

"I was just telling Artie that Principal Figgins has signed off on-"

"Sorry Mr. Schue," Artie interrupted, "Puck you need to pick Beth up".

"Why? Where's Quinn?"

"At the hospital".

"Is she ok?" Puck asked suddenly very worried.

"She's fine, it's Rachel".

"Rachel?" Mr. Schue interrupted.

"Santana found Rachel, her waters had broken I think, they left not long after last period started".

"Ok," Puck took charge, "I'll get Beth and head over to the hospital, Artie let the others know and meet there ok?"

Rachel sat on the edge of the bed, dressed in the gown, refusing to lie down, "I can't do this!"

"It's ok Rae," Quinn soothed.

"Listen to me," Santana hated situations like this, she was never very good at them, "Dr. Jason is gonna do what he can to get hold of the other doctor but it's her day off".

"Baby, I won't let anything bad happen to you," Quinn's thoughts were interrupted as her cell began to vibrate in her pocket, "It's Shelby," she said as she glanced at the screen and pressed answer. "Hello? You're here? Ok, I'll send S...Santana to meet you".

Santana scowled in disapproval as Quinn hung up the phone, "Where is she?"

"Stop your bitching," Quinn thrust her cell into the Latina's hand, "take it with you in case any of the others call".

Rachel started crying, exhaustion, pain and fear causing her to break, "What if she looks like him?"

Quinn ran her fingers through the thick dark hair, "She's not going to Rae, she's going to be perfect," she pressed her lips to her girlfriends, "she's your baby girl, ok?"

"I don't know how to do this!" Rachel cried, "She's not supposed to come now, I'm supposed to have more time!"

Quinn wrapped her arms around the terrified girl in front of her and stroked her hair, gently ushering quiet promises and I love yous.

Several minutes later Santana returned with Shelby, "Leroy and Hiram are stuck in traffic," the Cheerio offered without prompting, "Artie called, Puck's gone to get Beth and everyone else is on their way".

"Rachel," Shelby called tentatively leaving the door ajar behind her, "the nurse needs to come in and check on you".

Quinn nodded in acknowledgement and Shelby entered the room along with the nurse.

"I'm going to need you to lie down," the nurse said gently.

Rachel clung to Quinn's shirt.

"It's ok Rae," Quinn carefully pulled back and locked into the scared chocolate eyes, "I'm right here, it's just the nurse, ok?"

Rachel nodded and reluctantly laid back on the bed, silent tears falling from her face and onto the pillow.

The nurse threw a sheet over Rachel and set to work between the young girls legs.

Quinn stood one side of the bed stroking Rachel's hair, Santana the other side with Shelby who was holding her daughters hand.

The nurse finished up and looked towards Shelby, "I'm going to have to get the doctor, I don't think we have long".

"No," Rachel yelled as she sat up and tried to climb off of the bed.

"Rachel!" Shelby was startled, "What's wrong?"

Rachel clutched on to Quinn's hand not wanting her to leave at any time, "Mom, take me home please?" she begged.

"Rae," Quinn said sadly, she wished she knew what she could do to ease her fears.

"I can't baby," Shelby put a warm palm to her daughters face, "you need to be here".

"I don't want him in here," Rachel pleaded, "please don't make me do this".

"She doesn't feel safe," Santana explained to Shelby pointlessly, "the doctors a guy, he said he was going to try and get hold of the other doctor but it's her day off".

"Rachel," Shelby stroked Rachel's cheek, "listen to me sweetheart, your baby needs you to be here. Tell me what I can do to make it safe?"

"You're safe Berry," Santana promised, "you know I'll kick the ass of anyone that tries anything with you".

"I can't," Rachel said quietly before doubling over in pain.

"How do I make it safe?" Shelby asked again, they needed the doctor.

There was a knock at the door.

"I'll go," Santana said, she opened the door slightly, "it's Hiram and Leroy, I'll let them know what's happening".

"Rach?" Quinn suddenly had an idea, "If you feel safe will you let the doctor help?"

Rachel nodded gently as she tried to breathe again as the pain began to fade but returned with more strength.

"Ok baby," she kissed the bent over girls shoulder, "stay there, I'll make it safe ok?"

"What are you doing?" Shelby asked confused.

"Trust me," Quinn said as she began to climb behind Rachel, one leg either side of her girlfriend, "sit back baby".

Rachel carefully began to sit back, as Santana stepped back into the room.

Quinn gently wrapped her arms around Rachel and rested her head on her shoulder, "Better?"

"Thank you," Rachel whispered.

"I've got you ok baby?" Quinn promised, "You're safe, I've got you". She kissed Rachel's cheek, "I love you," she whispered into her ear, "will you let Dr. Jason help?"

"Stay?" Rachel asked timidly.

"Always".

"Ok".

Quinn looked up at Shelby, "Get the doctor".

Leroy and Hiram made their way to the waiting room to be greeted by the rest of the Glee club, minus Finn.

"How's she doing?" Puck asked as he moved a squirming Beth from one hip to the other.

"Any news?" Tina chimed in.

"Give them a chance to answer," Mercedes interrupted before the rest of the club could bombard the poor anxious men with questions.

Leroy smiled thankfully at Mercedes, "The doctor's in with Rachel now, he took a nurse with him, from what was said we shouldn't be waiting too long".

Hiram took a seat and nervously glanced at the clock.

Artie rolled up beside him, "She'll be ok you know, they both will".

"I know," Hiram said tearfully, "it's...that's my little girl".

Leroy was talking with Mr. Schue and the other members of Glee club.

Puck stood nervously in front of Hiram and Artie, "She might be little, but she's strong," he offered.

"Puck's right," Artie agreed.

Hiram wiped as his eyes and glanced at the clock again.

"Hiram," Puck drew his attention, "I think someone would like to give you a hug".

Hiram smiled and opened his arms as he received Beth, "Come here you," he wrapped his arms tightly around her, "try not to grow up so fast ok?"

"It's too much," Rachel panted.

"You're doing great baby," Shelby said eagerly as she clutched Rachel's hand.

"It hurts, I don't think I can," Rachel's head fell back on to Quinn's shoulder.

"You're almost there Rachel," Dr. Jason said from his spot on the stool.

"Don't make me cheer for you Berry," Santana said as she took hold of Rachel's other hand, "and try not to break my damn hand".

Quinn wiped Rachel's forehead, "You can do this Rae, I know it hurts but it won't for much longer".

"Are you ready to try again?" Dr. Jason asked.

Rachel gripped the hands within her own tightly and buried her face in her Quinn's neck as she started to push again and screamed into the blonde hair.

"She's crowning," the doctor announced.

"You're doing great baby," Quinn urged, "don't stop, it's almost over".

"Fuck!" Rachel yelled as she continued to push.

"Christ Berry," Santana said a little taken back by the sudden expletive, "you kiss Q with that mouth? Ok, ow!" the Latina shouted as Rachel tightened her grip around her fingers, "You did that on purpose!"

"Suck it up S!" Quinn smiled, "Break her fingers if it helps baby," she laughed gently.

"One more and I think we'll be there," Dr. Jason urged Rachel on.

Rachel sucked in a huge breath of air and pushed as hard as she could, "I hate that fucking bastard for doing this me!" she cried as a hot pain ripped through her core and wailing began to fill the room.

"You're doing great baby," Quinn promised, tears beginning to fill her eyes as the sound hit her ears.

"Ok Rachel, relax a moment," the doctor instructed as he cut the umbillical cord and passed the baby to the nurse who wrapped her in a blanket and walked over to Rachel.

"Rach," Quinn silently shed tears of pride and happiness as she nudged her girlfriend, "look".

"Would you like to meet your daughter?" the nurse said as she gently placed the swaddled infant on Rachel's heavy chest.

"She's beautiful," Shelby whispered.

Rachel stared down at the little girl and a fresh wave of tears cascaded down her face.

"Rae?" Quinn felt the shake of Rachel's shoulders, "you ok?"

Rachel's lips moved but no one could hear a word that she uttered.

"Uhh...Berry, I don't think even dogs heard that one," Santana said cautiously, "what's wrong?"

"Talk to us sweetheart," Quinn said before pressing her lips to Rachel's head.

Rachel sniffled as she tried to force the tears to stop and croaked happily, "She doesn't look like him".

Santana and Shelby made their way to the waiting room in a silent awe, they had left Rachel and Quinn with the baby so that Rachel could change in to a fresh gown. Just before they entered the waiting room, Shelby stopped and placed her hand on Santana's shoulder, "I just wanted to say thank you...for what you did for Rachel today".

Santana shrugged, "Don't mention it".

"She's lucky to have such a good friend," Shelby said sincerely.

"She's not so bad herself, once you get used to her," Santana offered a small smile. _I don't have to like the bitch, but I guess I can play nice if she's gonna be around Berry more._ "You ready to have your eardrums blown?"

Shelby laughed.

"I'm being serious," Santana added, "the girls will reach pitches that shouldn't be heard by anyone, Kurt will probably join them".

"I'm ready," Shelby laughed again and the pair made their way to the waiting room to be hit with a wall of sound as questions began to fire from every mouth and Beth babbled loudly, excited by all the noise.

Santana walked over to her fellow Glee clubbers while Shelby went to Leroy and Hiram.

"Berry did good," Santana smiled.

"She's just getting cleaned up," Shelby said to Leroy and Hiram.

"Is she ok?" Hiram asked anxiously, he had never been good at waiting.

"They both are. Rachel's incredibly tired".

"Understandable," Leroy nodded.

"They've got her hooked up to an IV," Shelby quickly added, "she's just a little dehydrated, they want to keep them both in overnight just to be safe but the doctor said that providing nothing crops up they can come home tomorrow".

"When can we see them?" Leroy asked excitedly.

Shelby, Hiram and Leroy stood talking for a few more moments before Leroy turned to face the group that he now considered family.

"Ok everybody, listen up," his deep voice boomed, "Rachel's not up for visitors right now, she's doing ok, but she won't be home until tomorrow. They'll be putting the newest Berry in the nursery in a little while so if you want to stick around to go take a look then by all means, otherwise we'd like to ask you all to wait until the weekend to visit Rachel so that she has a few days to recuperate".

Shelby knocked on the door and opened a little, "Is it ok to come in?"

"Yeah," Quinn answered.

Shelby, Leroy and Hiram all entered the room and carefully shut the door behind them.

Rachel was propped up on the bed, her daughter safely in her arms. Quinn had an arm wrapped protectively around Rachel's shoulders, as soon as she had changed and lay on the bed Quinn had laid down beside her girlfriend and kissed her repeatedly.

"Hi Daddy," Rachel quickly broke her gaze to look at her parents, "Dad".

"Hi baby girl," Leroy was the first one over to the bed, "how you feeling?"

"Like a bunch of kids used my insides as a pinata".

Leroy laughed, and kissed Rachel on the head.

Hiram stood beside his husband and stared in wonder at his daughter, "You did good baby".

"Thanks Dad," Rachel smiled, "don't expect anymore grandchildren! Well...not any time soon".

"I'm so pleased to hear that," Hiram feigned a sigh of relief and wiped his brow, "Phew!"

Rachel tried to sit up but with no free hands it was quite a struggle, she turned to the blonde who hadn't left her side since they'd arrived at the hospital, "Would you like to..." she nodded at the pink bundle in her arms.

"You sure?" Quinn asked a little shocked that Rachel hadn't offered first hold to either of her dads.

Rachel nodded and waited a moment as Quinn rearranged herself, and then passed her daughter over.

Quinn stared down in wonder, feeling the same love she had felt when she had first held Beth.

"Come here," Leroy said and very gently pulled his daughter into his arms, "I am so proud of you," he whispered into her thick hair.

Rachel pulled back and offered a tired smile before turning to Hiram, "I don't get a hug from you dad?"

"Of course baby," Hiram shuffled his way in front of Hiram and wrapped his arms around Rachel, "My beautiful girl," he kissed her forehead.

Rachel pulled back once more, "Would you like to her hold her?"

"Absolutely," Hiram beamed.

As soon as his granddaughter was in his arms Hiram's eyes glistened with tears, "She's so beautiful".

Rachel took the moment of reprieve to kiss Quinn sweetly, "Thank you so much for being here for this".

Quinn smiled, "I wouldn't have missed it for the world," she said before returning the kiss.

"Ok," Leroy interrupted, "let me have a look".

Rachel finally felt herself relaxing for the first time that day as she rested against the girl she loved and watched her parents, mom included, each take turning holding her daughter and commenting on how beautiful she is.

Shelby turned to Rachel, and carefully placed the baby back in her arms, "Ok sweetie back to mommy".

"What's her name?" Leroy asked.

Quinn rested her head atop of Rachel's, "Yeah Rae, you haven't given her a name yet".

Rachel's eyes traced the delicate features of her daughters face, and stayed quiet for a moment as she considered the many options she had gone over but she kept coming back to the same name. "Charlie," she carefully lifted her daughter up and pressed her lips against delicate skin, "Charlotte Berry". She nodded to herself in self-satisfaction, a smile reaching her eyes, "My little Charlie".

* * *

**In Loving Memory…**

_Charlie_

My l'il star, I miss you everyday. I love you so much. Mummy xXx

Sweetpea, Mommy loves you so much.

This is for our beautiful daughter Charlie whom we love and miss very much.

Sleep tight angel.

"An Angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birth. And whispered as she closed the book 'too beautiful for earth.' "


	77. Chapter 77

**Summary:** Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content in the form of rape, also at some point possible reference to self-harm.

**Pairing:** Rachel/Quinn

**Notes: **Rachel surprises the Glee club, who also have a surprise for her.

**Warning:** If you don't like the word fuck then this probably isn't going to be your favourite chapter LOL otherwise I guess the only warning is that this is sickly sweet.

**Disclaimer: I own nothings, but the random ramblings of which occur in my brain. Glee and any other copyrighted content used belongs to their respective owners.**

**Friday**

"Right guys," Mr. Schue clapped his hands as he addressed the Glee club, "to start off I'd just like to tell you that Principal Figgins has agreed to Artie's idea..." the group started to pat Artie on the bag as the choir room filled with excited whispers, "and that the performance can go ahead whenever we're ready".

"We're ready Mr. Schue," Finn said eagerly, trying to prove to his teammates that he wasn't the grade A ass they all knew he was.

"Well that's great," the teacher responded a little less enthusiastically, he knew of the current 'disagreement' between the lanky quarterback and the rest of the club and despite knowing that he shouldn't, he sided with the rest of the club. "Now, I know that things have been a bit hectic around here, but we need to seriously start working on getting some new recruits a.s.a.p. Matt's transferred and Rachel for obvious reasons won't be able to attend practice for a while". He glanced around at the faces he had come to love over the last few years, "For a lot of you this is your last year, your last chance at National's. We need to be prepared, we have a lot to figure out in a short amount of time and..." his voice trailed off as there was a knock at the door, "come in!"

"Hi..." Shelby said as she stepped into the rival choir room.

"Shelby?" Quinn sat straight up in her chair, "Is everything ok? Is Rach-"

"They're ok," Shelby smiled, before turning to face Mr. Schue, "I was wondering if I might interrupt for a quick moment?"

"The floor is yours," he waved his arm.

Shelby laughed and looked at all the eager faces now turned towards her direction, she stood still by the door, "I have a surprise for you," she opened the door and Rachel made her way into the room, Charlie wrapped snugly in the cream fleece blanket, the gold stars just visible under a crease of the material.

The room was up and making their way towards the new mother, a chorus of Rachel's name begin uttered excitedly.

"Hi guys," Rachel smiled.

"You're supposed to be at home resting," Mercedes said mock-disapprovingly.

"I know, but mom," the word still felt foreign to say, "and I went out to get some stuff and give my dads a rest".

Quinn made her way to Rachel's side and slipped an arm around her waist, "How are my girls?"

"Good," Rachel whispered before raising a voice a little so that the rest of the group could hear, "We're both good, the doctors say she's perfectly healthy and even though she was a little earlier than expected she has no signs of anything that may affect her later in life".

"That's awesome," Mike said.

"Anyways," Rachel carefully rearranged the blanket around her daughter so that everyone could she her face, "I'd like you all to meet Charlie".

"She's so tiny," Brittany cooed.

Mercedes stepped to the side so that Artie could wheel himself closer.

Rachel gently lowered herself so that her best friend could see better.

"She's perfect," Artie smiled, "mini Houdini".

"I do believe you called first dibs?" Rachel asked jokingly with an eyebrow raised.

"Damn right I did," Artie laughed.

Rachel carefully placed her daughters in Artie's arms and watched.

"Hey Charlie," Artie whispered to the babe in his arms, "remember my voice? I'm your uncle Artie and before any of this lot tell you anything different...I'm your favourite uncle cos I'm the coolest".

Rachel rolled her eyes.

Suddenly the rest of the group were calling first dibs on the next hug.

"Actually..." Rachel said a little bashfully, "I think Santana has priority on the next hug".

"Me?" the Latina almost stuttered, "You sure Berry? I mean...I don't mind waiting my turn".

"No," the diva had decided, "Charlie needs to have a hug from the person that helped make sure she got here safely".

Soon Santana was holding Charlie and staring down at her in awe, the sense of wonder she got from the small child was indescribable. The Latina looked up at Rachel, "You did good Berry".

It wasn't long before Charlie started to move from Santana's arms on to the next person and then the next.

"Can I talk to you a moment?" Puck asked nervously, his hands shoved in his pockets nervously.

"Of course you can Noah," Rachel laced her fingers with Quinn's, "is it ok if Quinn stays?"

"Yeah, she kinda knows what I want to talk to you about already".

Rachel gave a puzzled look to Quinn who just smiled sweetly in return. The trio took a few steps away from the group, but were still close enough for Rachel's eyes to always be on her daughter.

"So..." Puck scratched the back of his neck, "how you feeling?"

"Sore," Rachel answered honestly.

"I know everyone's been telling you that you did good and she's beautiful which she is, but I'm not sure if anyone has told you this yet..." he looked at Rachel earnestly, "she looks like you".

Rachel's eyes followed the movement of Charlie from Mercedes to Tina before facing Puck, "Thank you".

"Anyways what I wanted to talk to you about, well there's two things," he began to babble.

"Sometime today Puck," Quinn laughed.

Puck shot Quinn a withering stare, "Me and Q talked, and we decided that Beth will stay with me for a few weeks so that Q can be with you and Charlie".

"You can't do that," Rachel answered trying not to sound disrespectful of what the pair were offering, "Beth needs her mom".

"She'll still get to see me," Quinn promised.

"Yeah," Puck hurriedly agreed, "we figured that Quinn could still have Beth when she's supposed to, so she'll get to see her when school's finished and have dinner and stuff but I'll pick her up in the evening and she'll sleep at mine and I'll take her to the sitter in the morning and that way Quinn's there for you and Charlie, to help out or whatever you need".

"Guys..." Rachel wasn't sure what to say, the offer was beyond tempting, "it's a really thoughtful but I don't know...I mean...have you really thought this through? Beth is so full of energy and Charlie will be waking up at I don't even know what time of the day and night and you've both got school and..."

"We've been there," Puck laughed, "we had each other, now we want to be there for you".

"And we thought that maybe," Quinn added, "when you're ready Puck, Beth and I could all come over...I know that Beth would love to meet her baby sister".

Rachel smiled, "Sister?"

"We're a family," Quinn said before kissing Rachel softly.

"Ahem..." Puck cleared his throat, "I'm still here".

"Sorry Noah," Rachel blushed furiously.

Quinn rolled her eyes, "I think it's my turn to have a hug with Charlie".

"We'll be there in a minute," Puck said, silently questioning if Rachel was ok with talking with him alone a moment.

"Will you keep hold of her until I come back over?" Rachel asked her girlfriend, "Everyone's had a hug now and I don't want her getting upset at being constantly passed around".

"Sure baby," Quinn smiled and headed off to join the rest of the group.

"So..." Rachel said a little nervously, "Beth wants to meet her sister?"

"Yeah," Puck laughed warmly, "her and Charlie...well they might as well be sisters right?"

"I'd hope so," Rachel admitted, "I just didn't know what you or Quinn would think if I were to suggest it".

"Well they are in all our eyes," Puck nodded.

"So there was something else you wished to talk to me about?" Rachel prompted.

"Yeah..." Puck began to fidget, this was the thing he was most nervous about, "So I talked to my mom, like really talked to her and well...I know I'm not Charlie's dad or anything...but if you ever need a day off...or just want a few hours to yourself or anything...even if it's just someone to talk to...I'm here for you. I still have Beth's basinet and baby grows and pretty soon she'll be needing a bigger cot...so, if you wanted a night to catch up with school or just to relax, whatever, I'm more than willing to watch her for you. I'll treat her exactly the same as I treat Beth and...oof!"

Rachel's arms were wrapped around Puck's neck, he would never know how much his words meant to her. "Thank you," she muttered into his chest, a stray tear rolling down her cheek.

Puck smiled and loosely wrapped his arms around the girls back, "You're welcome," he pulled back a little so that he could look Rachel in the face, "besides, us hot Jews have gotta stick together right?"

Rachel laughed as she wiped at her face, "Right".

"C'mon, let's get you back to your baby girl".

The pair joined the others and Quinn returned Charlie to her mother. The group stood idly chatting, including Mr. Schue and Shelby, for a few moments. Artie maneuvered his way over to Rachel, Quinn and Puck.

"Hey," he smiled, "she definitely takes after you Houdini".

"Oh?" Rachel could see in his eyes that this was going somewhere.

"As soon as she walks in the room she brings down the house," he laughed.

"Dude," Puck laughed, "that joke sucked!"

"Quinn?" Artie looked up at the blonde and curled his finger back and forth, indicating her to come closer.

Quinn released her arm from Rachel's shoulders, and brought her face to Artie's. Artie whispered something in her ear. "Yeah," Quinn smiled, "Puck grab the others".

Puck nodded knowing what the pair had just exchanged.

"Is there something I'm missing here?" Rachel asked slightly confused.

The rest of the group had quietened.

Quinn began leading Rachel to a chair in the front row, "Well...you surprised us today," she waited for Rachel to be seated, Shelby and Mr. Schue joining either side. "We've got a surprise for you".

"But-"

"Pipe down Berry and just enjoy it!" Santana laughed.

The group got into their formation, while Mr. Schue stood from his seat and took the floor, "Rachel, everyone here has something they want to tell you".

"We love you!" the group said in unison.

"But," Mr. Schue continued, "seeing as this is Glee club after all, what better way to say I love you than with a song," and with that he returned to his seat.

"Do you know anything about this?" Rachel whispered to her mother.

"I can honestly say that I'm not involved in this".

Puck, Mercedes, Santana, Quinn and Artie were in the front, the rest of the group stood behind them. There were no fancy costumes, each of them wearing what they had to school that morning. Rachel sat waiting for them to begin, Charlie cradled in her arms fast asleep.

Puck stepped forward, the music starting as he began to sing.

**Made a wrong turn, once or twice**

Rachel instantly recognised the song and remembered the day that Artie had given her the CD, their exchange of words clear in her mind as though they had just had the conversation today.

"_Just do me one favour..."_

"_What's that?"_

"_Listen to track twenty"._

"_Ok..." eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "why?"_

"_Just...whenever you're feeling down or you just need to know that you have a friend listen to that and remember that it's how I think of you"._

**Dug my way out, blood and fire.**

**Bad decisions, that's alright**

Puck shrugged, a smile playing across his face.

**Welcome to my silly life.**

Puck stepped back, Mercedes stepping forward at the same time as she continued.

**Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood**

**Miss 'No way, it's all good'**

**It didn't slow me down.**

**Mistaken, always second guessing**

**Underestimated, look**

She pointed at herself

**I'm still around**

She stepped back and the whole group sang.

**Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel**

**Like you're less than fuckin' perfect**

**Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel**

**Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me**

The group quietened as Santana took her turn and stepped forward.

**You're so mean when you talk**

**About yourself. You were wrong.**

**Change the voices in your head. **

**Make them like you instead.**

Santana stepped back, Quinn taking her spot.

**So complicated,**

**Look happy, you'll make it!**

**Filled with so much hatred**

**Such a tired game**

**It's enough, I've done all I could think of**

**Chased down all my demons**

**I've seen you do the same**

As Quinn finished, Mercedes stayed in line with the rest as she continued

**Ohh ohhhhhhh**

The rest of the group joined in again for the chorus.

**Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel**

**Like you're less than fuckin' perfect**

**Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever, feel**

**Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me**

Rachel's eyes were instantly drawn to her daughters face as she absorbed the lyrics.

Artie rolled forward, a smile across his face as he momentarily caught Rachel's eye.

**The whole world's scared, so I swallow the fear**

**The only thing I should be drinking is an**

Puck joined Artie for a moment

**ice cold beer**

Puck grinned at Artie as he went back to his place and Artie continued

**So cool in line and we try, try, try but we **

Those in the front joined

**try too hard**

**And it's a waste of my time!**

Artie's voice stood alone once again.

**Done looking for the critics, cos they're everywhere**

**They don't like my jeans,**

He tugged at his jeans

**they don't get my hair**

Puck ruffled his mohawk

**Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time**

**Why do we do that, why do I that...**

Artie sighed and shrugged

**Why do I do that?**

Mercedes sang in the back ground her voice carrying over the rest of the group.

**Pretty, pretty, pretty, please!**

One last time the group sang together

**Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel**

**Like you're less than fuckin' perfect**

**Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel**

**Like you're nothing, you're fuckin' perfect to me**

Mercedes stopped singing with the group as she carried on

**You're perfect, you're perfect**

The group quietened as those in the front continued to sing

**Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel**

**Like you're nothing, you're fuckin' perfect**

Everyone was quiet now, Quinn stood alone in front of the group, her eyes never leaving Rachel and Charlie as she finished

**to me.**

**Attention:** Hello all! Can you believe it? We actually made it to the very end! I want to thank all of you for taking the time to read this story, I hope you have enjoyed reading it as much as I have writing it.

For those of you that were asking about the note at the end of the last chapter, yes, Charlie does exist, she rests safely now amongst the stars in the arms of God.

The biggest thank you has to be said to both my amazing girl **Davis B.P** and my great mate **chunkmunk09**. They have both helped me so much pretty much from the beginning of this journey and their support and encouragement has meant so very much to me. So the biggest thanks ever goes to them. **Davis B.P**, **chunkmunk09** I love you guys! Thank you!

I seriously hope everyone has enjoyed Dirty Little Secret, and I hope that maybe some of you are able to take something away from this story that will help you or someone you know.

There WILL be a sequel! I am 110% positive of this. I'm sad to see Dirty Little Secret come to an end LOL the sequel is titled Long Way To Happy, and I hope to start writing it and posting it very soon. Having said that, give me like a month to get my brain in order LOL

Thank you so much for reading!

Love yourselves, and love each other!

-PatchesOfInk


End file.
